I understand that some people who are following this story do not have Twitter to follow myself (@Nicky_Papers) or Christine (@CLRochelle) The feed is presented chronologically with numbered Tweets for reference.

Please read our live Twitter Feed (#firsttwitterdate) below:

Tweet #6: My date thought about cheating and calling me to avoid a potentially awkward situation! She half-cheated by sending me a text to avoid walking into an dark and crowded restaurant to spot me. After reading her post date commentary, I now found out she’s “blind” and owns glasses she doesn’t wear and spotting me made her nervous. To ease tension, I want outside to great her as she approached.

Tweet #17: In retrospect, I should have keep my business to myself. Sometimes, I share too many details with people. I thought @CLRochelle would tell more about some of her triumphs, especially her trip to Vietnam. (which I was really interested in learning about!) However, she held back and talked about her freelance work.

Tweet #27 / #45: Let it be known that I never insisted on paying for anything. I did what came natural for me in this situation. Please note, I picked the restaurant(s) so picking up a tab should not be viewed as something negative.

Tweet #28: I knew my date liked cupcakes, I think she appreciated my effort to go for something she’s into.

Tweet #31: My date secretly snapped a picture of me while I was Tweeting. Was she put up to it? I thought that was a little creepy seeing that on Twitter the next day.

Tweet #36: “I brought up past relationships”. For the record, I asked my date if she was seeing anyone. Certainly, that’s a fair question and a typical girl would not be “freaked out” and answer truthfully. However, my date admitted that she is “seeing someone” but it’s “not serious”. The only thing “bold” was her response my question. (As she posts CL ads to go on Twitter dates…?)

Tweet #41: I didn’t stalk my dates blog. I read it thoroughly and enjoyed it! I think she is a phenomenal and comedic writer and has a bright future in journalism.

Tweet #43: The date ended awkwardly on the train platform as we “shoulder-hugged” as if she thought I’d pull a creepo move and slip her the tongue. Get real! I was just making sure she got on her train safely.

Would I date @CLRochelle again? Probably not.

Simply put, the chemistry wasn’t there for me. However, remaining friends and staying in touch about blogging would be smart as she’s a gifted and talented writer.

Shortly after clicking the link, Mike followed up with an IM saying, “that’s all you bro”. NYC based woman blogger 23, looking to meet a mysterious man via Twitter and go out on a date. The date sounded cool being that we’re close in age and will probably have a lot to talk about as we both blog, however there’s purpose behind the date.

Without hesitation and in good faith, I sent a response to the ad. See below.

Well what do you know? I was selected by my mystery woman (Twitter user) @CLRochelle to accompany her and make Twitter / dating history!

This entire date is to be recorded by Tweets with the following hash tag: #firsttwitterdate so the world can witness our thoughts before meeting, during the date, and our feelings after getting together.

This concept is the first form interactive dating by means of social networking. Simply put, like those TV shows where the lucky dating contestant has an ear piece and guided “by a wing-man”, we’ll both be “guided” by Twitter users world-wide.

So what do I know about my Twitter date so far? Besides from being a talented freelance writer / blogger from New Jersey, she’s also obsessed with cupcakes. If only she knew that I subscribe to Bakerella.com and that Nicky Papers is the self-proclaimed King of all Things Edible, (I’ll keep my Montauk Monster shaped cookies to myself…) this certainly should be a fun date and a memorable experience indeed.

Dating is a lot like soccer sometimes, if you look for where the ball is (action) you’re never going to score. For me, I was wide open and ready for this opportunity. I’m fairly certain my date has done her due diligence by reading my blogs, (seems like a smart and sassy chick) and had no reservations on what was behind “Door #3”. (Obviously hoping to avoid a case of buyer’s remorse at all costs!)

Follow me, (@Nicky_Papers) and (@CLRochelle) on our #firsttwitterdate tomorrow evening Tuesday, August 4th as we will be blind to each other’s Tweets!

In the video above Timothy Sykes does an excellent job describing how to spot a stock scam from a legitimate investment opportunity. As Timothy explains, there approximately 8500 of these “scam stocks” trading on the OTC Bulletin Board that utilize “pump and dump” strategies to drive the share price of their stock up.

Please note that the marketing tactics of these companies may be overly aggressive, but for the well-informed investor, trading these types of stocks can be lucrative if you know what to look for. As Tim further describes, he has no qualms investing in what he considers horrible companies, but plays the odds when noticing a penny stock jump from 100-200%.

One must always take into consideration that the hot penny stock that was just recommended was most likely aimed at individuals who are susceptible to impulsive buying tendencies based on reading “jazzed up” marketing materials. Those individuals have not done their due diligence and read the fine print contained in the marketing materials. Other times, a chop shop will pump a promoted stock to prospective clients to raise the share price on sparsely traded penny stocks over the telephone.

Always remember that a stock being promoted (by e-mail, message boards, cold calling) is not putting money back into the company, research and development, staff augmentation, mergers and acquisitions, etc. The independent marketing firms pumping these stocks are making out like bandits! Always do your research before moving forward with a “marketed” investment.

Kind Regards,

Nicky Papers

I’m not into the whole Flight of the Conchords thing, but this video is great! Flight of the Conchords – “If You’re Into It” features two male singers serenading (and using weird instruments!) a cute girl by progressively coercing into getting naked and having group sex. The song starts off innocently and gains momentum to the “climax” at the end.

I heard about Flight of the Conchords before, but was never really sold on their humor. However, this song makes my YouTube favorites list as it’s good for a mid-morning smirk and to pass along to someone who is not familiar with the group.

For those like myself, who only knew about the group from HBO, Flight of the Conchords is a Grammy Award winning comedy duo from New Zealand. The duo composed of Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement use their musical background and comedic personalities to create songs that are melodic, funny, and entertaining. Granted, not all of their stuff I’m a fan of, but “If You’re Into It” had me hooked after the guy with the deep voice made his first appearance.

The chick in the video is pretty cute too. Not really Nicky Paper’s type, but her look kind of makes me want to grab a “White Chocolate Mocha” at Starbucks with her and “just talk”. She’s definitely seems like that type of girl, “if she’s into it”.

Geico’s mascot is a miniature stack of money with “googly eye’s” that always seems to be getting caught staring. It usually targets a woman by staring (flirtatiously) as it continues to make its presence known. Once the small “stack of money” is discovered by a bystander, (someone who has seen it before) they will note that it’s “the money you could be saving with Geico”.

The stack of money comes off a bit stalker-ish during many of the commercials by not speaking and only staring. It’s intentions are benevolent as it’s trying to gingerly make an individual realize they may be overpaying with another car insurance outfit. At the end of each commercial the “money you could be saving” signs off with Rockwell’s classic 80’s tune: “Somebody’s Watching Me”. During the encounter, no party is overly concerned that the “stack of money” has human-like characteristics.

Please observe the Geico clip below:

Being that all “victims of the crave” are male, (and assumed to be heterosexual) it’s a fair claim that the “crave hamburger mascot” is a horny female looking for quickie of some sort. The male victims (grim reaper, store clerk) never fail to drop the task they are engrossed in when the crave calls.

Please check out the White Castle clip below:

The Verdict: Geico takes the prize on this one, simply for the originality of playing off the song “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell. For this reason alone it’s a more effective marketing campaign because many people identify Geico with that song, even if they’ve never heard it before. Simply put, it’s catchier than the 70’s porn music that White Castle delivers. White Castle’s campaign does however have more sex appeal, but falls short from a brand recognition and identity perspective.

To make money “chop shop” style you will need the following:

1. A telephone blocking the number on outbound calls.
2. Thick Skin
3. Male Leads (We don’t pitch the bitch.)
4. Puma Jumpsuit.

Welcome to Cold Calling 101. The sample lead above, (rendered to protect identity) is a fair representation as to how a boiler room works and the mentality of the brokers behind the high-energy phone calls. Everyday thousands of Americans are harassed at work by money-hungry brokers hopped-up on a mix of high testosterone, Red Bull, and Ritalin. For Nicky Papers, (yours truly!) it was a combination of all of the above on typical office afternoon.

So what are the “sharks” looking for exactly?

Currently working with Brokers: A prospect who works with multiple brokers shows that he’s not completely committed to anybody and will cut a check if he likes an idea. (He’s done this before…) Be wary of guys who use online brokerages as they don’t see the need in being told what to do. For prospects that have brokers out of state, (especially in NY) it’s a clear indicator that they are receptive to doing business completely over the phone.

Owns Stock: Prospects that trade common stock are our type of guys! We are looking for liquidity and a gamblers mentality. At this time, if they’ve made some money on a stock they’ll share the ticker with you. On the sample lead the prospect was kind enough to tell us that (NASDAQ: SLAB) Silicon Laboratories took the prize as he doubled his money on it. Reference something similar on the next call to open the account.

Ballpark Portfolio Size: So, how much are you playing with in the market? We were looking for guys with over 100k in the market. In pursuit of gaining a piece of that portfolio, anything over 100k is a safe number to weed out the piker’s from the players. In this case, our prospect is playing with 900k. “A fucking whale baby!”

Personal Info: After capturing the aforementioned “meat and potatoes”, now it’s time to bullshit a little. So are you still making six-figures? (Of course.) What do you like to do in your spare time? Still chasing the ladies? At this time the victim will lighten up and tell you some tales of adventure and romance. Our prospect (above) enjoyed fishing for trout. (How exciting!) It’s not much, but valuable enough to pull out your ass on the next phone call.

This prospect turned into a slippery eel and got away on the follow-up call. Now don’t think I was the Michael Jordan of cold-calling, but for being 21 years old I was pretty ferocious. With a solid 5%-in, 5%-out game plan in place, the broker’s always on top. And if the stock actually went up, more power to them!

One of my favorite movies of all-time is Boiler Room, as it shows an accurate representation of chop shop culture and the attitudes/behavior of many brokers on a trading floor. For me, Boiler Room glamorized the business and influenced me toward working within the financial services industry.

When I was 21, I responded to a Craigslist ad to become sponsored by a “retail equities brokerage” where I would learn the business through cold calling and studying for my Series 7. The opportunity seemed like it would pay dividends down the road so I kindly accepted the offer.

In just a few months working at this firm I observed the following:

1. I was becoming an animal on the phone. Being trained by sharks caused me to be relentless and not take “no” for an answer.

2. There was no dress coded or sense of office etiquette. Most of us, (myself included) rocked the classic head-to-toe Puma jumpsuit. (Typical guinea shit.) We had dice games in the conference room after the markets closed.

3. There were no analysts at the firm. Brokers pitched what they liked or stocks with preexisting “call scripts”. There was one speculative stock (Telkonet) that was pitched harder than anything else. It’s ticker symbol (TKO) opened up more accounts on a first trade basis than more commonly known stocks, because it’s ticker sounded “cool”.

4. Everything I did was fake. I used a fake name. I pretended I was a senior broker. I held conversations in topics I knew nothing about. (Fishing and hunting?) I told prospects I would call them back “later on down the road”, in-turn I passing them off to a British guy (heavy accent) where he’d read my notes and open the account. The client was none-the-wiser.

I never ended up passing my Series 7 exam. The firm tried selling me on reasons I should keep studying and “dialing for dollars”. Frankly, I was sick of being an actor on the telephone getting leads for someone else. I ended up parting ways with the firm on good terms. As a former “chop shopper”, where would I go next? For me that was an easy decision, I became a mortgage broker.

Now don’t think I’m getting soft on you with a dessert recipe, I’m showing diversification of my skill sets. Simply put, I’m demonstrating how to step up your game because you can’t snack on E.L. Fudge forever. So let’s make something hot and fresh out the kitchen.

You will need:
Custard Cups - (6)
Baking Pan – (1)
Eggs – (8)
Sugar – (4 oz.) and another separate portion of 6 oz.
Salt – (1/4 teaspoon)
Vanilla Extract – (1/4 oz.)
Water – (1 oz.)
Milk – (1 pint)

Let’s start with the caramel sauce! To begin this recipe you need to cook the separate 6 oz. portion of sugar with 1 oz. of water until it caramelizes in a saucepan. Don’t fuck this up and burn the sugar because it will ruin the entire product. A very light golden brown color is what you want. Next, line the bottom of the custard cups with a thin layer of the hot caramel sauce. The sauce will harden when cooled at air temperature.

For the custard filling:

1. Start by warming the milk up in a saucepan on a low flame.

2. Combine the eggs, sugar, salt, and vanilla into a mixing bowl. Mix it until thoroughly blended, but don’t whip it.

3. Carefully pour the warm milk into the egg mixture and stir rapidly to prevent the eggs from cooking and forming solid bits. Skim any foam that develops from the top of the mixture.

4. Pour the egg mixture on top of the hardened caramel in the custard cups. Set the cups onto a baking pan on an oven shelf and pour water into the pan around the cups so that the level of water just hits the custard mixture. Don’t overflow because it’ll be a bitch removing the pan with too much hot water.

5. Bake at 325 degrees (F) until the mixture sets for about 20 minutes.

6. Remove the crème caramel from the oven and let it cool. If you are not serving immediately, cover the tins individually and refrigerate.

Serve this dessert on a plate after turning the custard cup upside down to release the product. It should look like the picture of mine above. (f’ing delicious) My vision to take this dish to the next level is to add more eggs to the custard mixture and drizzle maple syrup on top of the crème caramel. (Caramelized sugar part) Fry some thick-cut Canadian Bacon and plate upward off the crème caramel with some French toast. Garnish with fresh blueberries, raspberries, and powdered sugar. And that’s how you go from a classic dessert to a gourmet breakfast!

In early 1996, my Vegas fantasies came true when I watched Showgirls (staring Elizabeth Berkley) for the first time. The cable descrambler box came in handy (thanks Dad!) as I was able to switch between episodes of Saved By The Bell (Jessie Spano) and “naked Jessie” on Pay-Per-View. As a sixth grader this was my first introduction to porn and I cherished the Pay-Per-View guide (Still have it today!) where I could tune into some quality soft-core action on a schedule of course.

The acting in Showgirls was terrible and the storyline sucked as it got horrific reviews. For me the combination of Showgirls, the accessibility to a descrambler box giving me oodles of adult entertainment, and being able to turn the color of my pee from yellow to “white and sticky” shaped my pre-pubescent afternoons; till dinner time at least…

My fourth grade writing should have been a clear indicator of what would become; a love for all things gluttonous. (And slightly voyeuristic…) My teacher on the other hand thought differently giving me “mad props” on my journal entries. In hindsight, she wasn’t doing anyone a favor as it really was her responsibility to call a parent teacher conference about this.

After going to Vegas more times than the average person (four times in 382 days to be exact) it’s safe say that I know my way around town. Whether I’m going balls deep on a hot Latina, telling a stripper that I used to have long hair, (fabricated lies) or explaining the economics behind VIP bottle service, Vegas is a place that will always be there when I want to cut loose.

As for my fourth grade teacher, I’d like to thank her for her kind words and encouragement. As for Elizabeth Berkley, you were my “Eleanor” as I’ve been never been able to see you naked again (since 96’) and also for the fact that as a sixth grader I came (and gone) in 60 seconds.

You will always hold a special place in my heart. : )

This bachelor party was for our buddy James (2005 USPC Winner!) and the setting of course, was Las Vegas. On Sunday morning of the trip, the rest of the gang made their departure home. It was Mother’s Day 2008 and only a few stayed behind to enjoy the highlight of any weekend in Vegoose, Rehab at the Hard Rock Casino.

We checked into the Hard Rock, ate breakfast at the 24/7, and made it down to the pool after taking care of my chest hair in the room. (Norelco baby!) After all, this was Mother’s day and one must take into consideration that all women attending a dirty pool party at Rehab must hate their mothers and want to get back at them, or will be partying with Mom in a cabana. Either way it was money for us.

The highlight of the day was finding a hidden waterslide set back from the main pool. I took a few runs and brought Rob to check it out. Rob has a tattoo on his chest that says “Lil’ Boo” in an old English font. Lil’ Boo isn’t his baby’s mama, it’s his cat that he loves dearly. Prior to getting on the slide a gay guy chatting up the lifeguard and asks Rob “who’s Lil’ Boo?” Rob, using the bar above the slide to gain momentum gets distracted by the question, and slips and hitting his head on the slide causing his drunken body to go limp and trail down the slide into the pool below.

The gay guy screams “OMG, he’s out cold!” The lifeguard leaves his station and jumps down, a partygoer shouts “I’m an EMT” and barrels down after Rob, the catty gay dude piles down, and I follow shortly after. It looked bad. Rob hit head hard and I thought for sure he’d be unconscious floating in the pool at the bottom.

Rob was held up by the lifeguard and EMT gasping for air. They asked him a series of questions, (what’s your name, how many fingers am I holding up?) The gay dude participated in the Q/A period and asked Rob once again, “who’s Lil’ Boo?” Rob replied, my cat! The gay dude apologized and told us that his dad “owns the place” and could comp us rooms and get us a table at Body English. He said, “if you need anything I’ll be back on the lifeguard stand”, by the way; my name’s Abraham.

Rob, literally just out of a coma, says “Abraham, eh? What kind of fucking name is that? Your father (who owns this place) named you Abraham? I now see why you’re a giant homo. Fucking Abraham!” Our pal Abe stood their speechless after being belittled by Rob. He exited the pool and shouted “fucking assholes!” at us and we went back to frolicking poolside.