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Wherein I Fail Miserably

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:48:37 +0000

A few days after Festival International I was feeling pretty crappy to say the least. I felt like old rum was coursing through my veins instead of blood and my…

A juice cleanse of course.

Now I can see that with all the starving children out there that even the thought of submitting myself to any type of starvation is plainly absurd.

But, see above.

I chose a 2 day cleanse thinking sh*it I ran 26.2 miles non stop without dying, surely I can go 48 hours without chewing actual food.

Boy was I wrong.

After about 14 hours into it, I realized how much I actually liked to eat. How much I actually enjoyed not only the taste but the actual act of chewing and swallowing real whole food.

So I've compiled a short list of things that I would suggest you NOT do if you plan on trying any type of juice cleanse.

I learned the hard way.

1. Never Attend A Cajun Wedding While On A Juice Cleanse

It's 7 o'clock at night. I haven't eaten since the previous night and the taste of the carrot/cilantro juice is still lingering. We walk in the reception hall and all I can fixate on is those metal serving trays across the room. What's in there? Sausage? Pasta? My mouth starts to water as I see the servers slowly remove the lids.

F*uck it!

I fill half a plate with boudin, jambalaya and crawfish pops and the other half with fruits and veggies thinking that, in my irrational foggy juice cleanse brain, that the healthy stuff would negate the meat fat and fried batter.

And as far as I'm concerned, they did.

I would try again tomorrow.

2. Never Go Grocery Shopping On A Juice Cleanse

Trust me, if you do this you will come home with more stuff than you could possibly imagine.

And not your usual pantry stuff.

Oh no, sh*t like fortune cookies and Honey Buns that might as well just be pure poison.

That stuff.

3. Never Go Digging In The Freezer In The Shed On A Juice Cleanse

So after buying a ton of gross food, I make my way to the freezer in the back shed to put things away.

And that was my 3^rd mistake.

I open the door and there they are. Staring at me like they had been waiting for me...waiting for me since that last kale/spinach juice....waiting to suck the last little bit will of power I had left.

The damn leftover milk chocolate Easter bunnies.

I shut the door instantaneously and told myself it was just a mirage.

Juice cleanse:3. Willpower:1.

4. Never Open a Can Of Pringles On a Juice Cleanse

Mark brought the kids fishing and of course, instead of bringing back freshly caught fish, they brought back an unopened can of Pringles.

I kind of stared at it in the pantry and the minute Joseph asked for a snack I immediately pulled that plastic lid off and ripped that paper off.

And that marked the official end of the juice cleanse.

For all you folks that do this regularly, I don't know if I should applaud you or commit you.

To anybody considering a juice cleanse, I would suggest doing it in a cave on Mars. (Although that red clay will for sure start looking like chocolate in about 3 hours.)

One Chapter Ends

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:39:51 +0000

These past few weeks have been a little chaotic. With the Blue Moon expanding and the clothing line coming to life, it sort of feels like the days have no…

They had been preparing for weeks and were just so proud to show us moms all the little gifts they had made for us.

As I was sitting there with Joseph on my lap eating gold fish and little brownies, I realized that this was the last time I'd be sitting here.

Joseph is my baby, my youngest, le bibi de la famille.

The innocence of the happy pre-k bubble would soon burst.

I've always said I love seeing my children grow and change and that I'm not particularly attached to their baby selves, but at that moment, sitting there with my youngest and realizing that our family was moving on, growing up, I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgia and maybe just a little bit sad.

As a mom, finishing this chapter is a little bitter sweet.

But like Mark tells me, the end of one chapter is the beginning of another.

And even though Joseph's growing up and I'll have to be letting go a little bit, I know he'll never stray too far because I have an iPhone with Bike Race Pro on it and he doesn’t.

For All You Moms Sitting At Home Doing Nothing

Sun, 12 May 2013 23:38:12 +0000

So it just occurred to me that my kids think I do nothing all day long. It occurred to me when, yesterday when we were having lunch, I…

I was all like, ''Really? You think I do nothing all day long?''

And she was like, ''Yeah! Before you had clothes in a store you did nothing all day.''

I then proceeded to explain to her that being a mom is actually a pretty intense job and that I stay busy all day long and that I actually do work for the Blue Moon and then she proceeded to not give a sh*t and asked me if she could have another Sprite.

Lots of people say being a mom is the hardest job in the world.

Yep, it's definitely up there with the guys who detonate bombs and the people that test jets to make sure they work ok.

The only difference is those guys or gals get to quit their jobs if they wish to do so.

You can't quit being a mom.

At least I can't.

I'll be honest and say that I might have fantasized about it here and there, but I'm convinced I carry the guilt gene and it will keep me cleaning up puke and baking cupcakes for the next 10 years at least.

Yep, it's the only job where you will be told you suck as you're cleaning up poop and practicing sight words and still stick around for tomorrow.

And oh yeah...for free.

But that's what we sign up for because eventually your kids thank you for dinner, or tell you your hair looks pretty or say they like Led Zeppelin and it all makes it worth while.

They're actually pretty awesome and teach me things about life and about myself everyday.

Being a mom has pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone.

Has given me confidence I may not have had otherwise.

Being a mom is pretty bad-ass.

So happy mother's day to all you moms out there.

May your 4 loads of laundry, butt wiping, walk-in clinic visits and bath time meltdowns be extra special today!

(Mame, h'espare que t'as pris une break du wall paper pi que tu t'as fait une drink forte!)

And Bayou Gauche Is Born

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:56:56 +0000

This week is a huge week. Right at this minute, my top, my design, 3 years of my blood, sweat, and tears is actually hanging in a real live…

It's a little surreal and exciting and mortifying all at the same time.

Much like a musician putting out a song for the very first time or a writer publishing his or her first book, there's a certain level of vulnerability that accompanies the excitement of putting your stuff out there for the world to see...to criticize.

But ultimately all you can do is stand by your art.

Be proud of what you've accomplished and learn from the experience whatever the outcome.

Many years ago my sister and I had pondered this idea....about bringing this infamous shirt/dress/tunic top to life. The simple shirt with the perfect balance of sophistication and comfort. The well constructed shirt that could last through the seasons and passing trends. The shirt you could effortlessly put on and feel like a million bucks.

THAT shirt.

And after reading Kathleen Fasanella's book The Entrepreneur's Guide To Sewn Product Manufacturing about 3 times and joining her amaze-balls online forum thereafter, I could actually visualize THAT shirt becoming an actual thing.

Now, after a few years of ups and downs and twists and turns, it's here, and it fits just right and it's just perfect.

THAT shirt is, of course, only the beginning, the corner stone so to speak, but I'm excited to grow and explore a plethora of designs and options now that my feet are a little wet and just a little less green.

The world of fashion is in constant evolution after all.

So.

I just wanted to give a big shout out to the team of local ridiculously talented folks who helped me bring Bayou Gauche to life.

The logo designs were made by none other than Allison Bohl DeHart & Peter DeHart at MakeMade. They were awesome to work with and pleasantly put up with my ''uh, this font reminds me of old lady perfume'' and ''I want it to feel like modern and clean but classic and sweet'' nonsense.

Bayou Gauche apparel is currently sewn in New Orleans at NOLA Sewn, owner Lisa Iacono. Lisa went above and beyond, answering all of my late night or very early morning texts of sheer panic. And not only is she sewing factory owner extraordinaire, she is also an extremely talented designer. Check her out HERE.

Robert Kohn from the Ira M. Kohn Company in New Orleans was a pleasure to work with and supplied me with all the labels, buttons, boxes, tissue paper, sticker, options a gal could ever want....and always with a smile.

A big MERCI to Katie and Kiki at Kiki in River Ranch for giving me the opportunity to share Bayou Gauche with you all. Make sure and drop by to see all the beautiful things they have in store for you. I promise you won't leave there without feeling a little more fabulous.

And last, but never least, a big I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH I WANT CRY to my husband Mark and my sister Georgette because oh my God I'm a nut case most of the time and need constant reassurance that I'm not totally delusional.

Ok so now comes the end of the longest post EVER and I feel like I've given an acceptance speech for a prize I've just awarded myself, so I'm going to go eat a piece of humble pie, do 3 loads of laundry and figure out what my next move is.

Thanks for getting this far!:-)

*Just in case you were wondering, here's how the name Bayou Gauche came about.

I had been toying around with a few names. Asking around to everyone and anyone who would indulge me when one day on our way to New Orleans on the old school road off of Highway 90, we went by the little town of Bayou Gauche.

A light bulb went off and Mark suggested I call the label Bayou Gauche making allusion to the left bank or Rive Gauche of the Seine river in Paris, home to many high-end designer boutiques.

That name appealed to me but even more so when I came home and consulted my intellectual companion, Wikipedia, and found out the left bank generally refers to the Paris of an earlier era; the Paris of artists, writers and philosophers, including Pablo Picasso, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Verlaine, Henri Matisse, Jean-Paul Sartre, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald and dozens of other members of the great artistic community....The phrase implies a sense of bohemianism, counterculture and creativity.

Now that's cool.

Coumme mega cool.

I loved the juxtaposition of the word Bayou, which for me, encompasses grit, toughness and salt of the earth with the lightness and romanticism of the Seine River.

It just fits.

Post Festival Blues

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:29:15 +0000

(I wrote this post yesterday but only got around to posting it today because...well....Sailor Jerry was still lingering aroud!) It's definitely the Monday after festival. Rod Stewart has…

Meaning my voice is extremely hoarse after countless hours of shouting over loud music because deep and meaningful statements like ''OH MY GOD THIS IS SO F*CKING AWESOME!'' and ''DUDE, I NEED ANOTHER FESTIVAL PUNCH!!'' were just fundamental to my then existence.

I'm talking, of course, about all the happenings at Festival International de Louisiane in downtown Lafayette this past week-end.

It was, to put it simply, perfect.

Warm enough during the day to make you crave a Pamplona Sangria and cool enough at night to make the walks from the Fais Dodo Stage to La Scène Internatioanl effortless and enjoyable.

The only thing now though is that I'm left with the post-festival blues.

I always seem to be in a complete fog for days after.

But instead of blaming it on the rum, we'll just call it withdrawal symptoms from the lack of anticipation you get before coming up on the stage to see that band you had been waiting to see for the past 8 months. Or a local band you see regularly, but somehow becomes even better just by the shear festival environment and the people surrounding you that make it so special.

Yep, it was indeed a great one.

One that will go down in history.

On the way home from school today my daughter Emmylou told me that she was sad that festival was over and that we should have a festival like that every month.

I told her that was good idea.

I wonder what my liver would think about that.

Heaven Off Of I-10

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 17:45:53 +0000

You guys! I found heaven and it's at exit 88 off of I-10W across the street from the Dairy Queen! And by heaven I mean, of course, a…

It's called Candyland Cottage & Ice Cream Shoppe and it's in Rayne.

A few weeks ago it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and the kids and I were running errands.

Let me rephrase that, I was running errands while the kids criticized my driving, stuck gum in each-other's hair, threatened continuously to take off their seat-belts and sang the Call Me Maybe song at the top of their lungs.

So, to maybe alleviate this painful circumstance I had a bright idea.

“Hey! You guys!Do y'all want to go to a candy store!!”

What I was expecting was, “REALLY?? A CANDY STORE!!! YES MOM! YOU'RE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD AND WE LOVE YOU!”

But instead what came from the back was, “REALLY MOM? DO WE HAVE TO? IT'S SO HOT IN HERE.....THIS IS THE WORSE DAY EVER!!”

To which I replied, “Listen you ungrateful children, we ARE going to the candy store AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!”

I mean jeez! I get bitching about eating liver and root vegetables, but bitching about a place packed with jelly beans and chocolate is just plain unacceptable.

The truth is I really wanted to go because I heard it was like this old tyme candy store...like back in the day with pulled taffy and home-made fudge. And I've mentioned my relentless sweet tooth..so yeah..no-brainer.

So I whipped the van and headed west.

Let me tell you, I was not disappointed!

And it took all of 2 minutes for my kids to realize they had hit the jackpot.

The salted caramel fudge was do die for and the truffles.....oh the truffles.

Yep, we ended up spending quite a while examining all the different artifacts and candies and exploring the quaint town of Rayne.

As we were leaving, Emmylou looking out the window announced, “Mom, they have great candy here in Rayne and they sure do love frogs*!!”

It turned out to be a great day after all:-)

*Insight into that inside joke if you're not from southern Louisiana: The city of Rayne is the self-proclaimed frog capitol of the world! Frogs everywhere!

Up & Coming-Let's Give Away Some Great Music!

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:25:26 +0000

Blogging has been a godsend. Not only has it allowed me to tap into my pre-changing shitty diapers self and connect with that creative side that had taken a…

The other day I got an email asking if I'd be interested in spreading the word about an emerging artist out of the Netherlands.

Caro Emerald.

I said yes because after listening to a couple of her songs I felt a little extra pep in my step and simply felt like a sexy lady.

It's happy music.

It's the kind of music that can make cleaning your house on a sunny Saturday afternoon a quite pleasurable experience...singing into your broom handle pretending you're in a café in the streets of Paris dressed in a sultry red dress with a flower in your hair.

So in celebration of this wonderful music, we'd like to give away a super hot Caro Emerald tote bag (seen in the above photo) and her latest album, Deleted Scenes From The Cutting Room Floor.

All you need to do is leave a comment below telling me in what city Caro Emerald was born.

Here's a little sample of her music for you. Don't be afraid to grab a broom!

You can also download FREE sample tunes from Deleted Scenes From The Cutting Room Floor HERE.

Happy Friday y'all!.

Contest ends Thursday, April 18^th at noon. Winner will be notified via email.

And Then There Was 8

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 16:07:53 +0000

Boo, Today we have been married for 8 years. 8 years ago we were standing on a beach at sunset, just you and I (and the officiate who…

Many were apprehensive about me, a young 24 year old, marrying a relatively older 40 year old man. More specifically, one of my concerned aunts who took me aside and told me the story about her friend who married a retired priest 20 years her senior and who had quickly realized she had made a mistake because he had to take naps. I assured my aunt that everything was going to be fine but that just in case I'd write down, ''Takes Naps'' on my Not Marriage Material list...right after ''Abusive'' and ''Collects Dead Rats''.

They were right in a sense though.

Our age difference has proven itself challenging at times.

We see things from different perspectives. We were molded by different eras.

You love The Safety Dance and remember having to hide under your desk during the Cold War.

I, on the other hand, really only understood what the Cold War was about 2 weeks ago and thought The Safety Dance was something you did if you caught on fire.

The point of all this boo is that, yes, we are sometimes polar opposites, but you have taught me so much in these past 8 years about commitment and partnership that I am forever grateful no matter what tomorrow brings.

Anyone who is married or who has been married knows that sharing your life with somebody may be one of the most challenging things you will ever do. The peaks and valleys and uncertain windy roads test and push the boundaries of who we are...push the boundaries of ever changing love.

You and I both know it ain't easy, but like you always tell me, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Thank you boo for being there with me along the endless roads of compromise.

Thank you boo for accompanying me up and out of the valleys of self-doubt.

Thank you boo for opening my eyes to the peak that is unconditional love.

And although I still get pissed off when I get a letter addressed ''Mrs. Mark Falgout'' because it awakens the feminist in me (who oddly enough seems to be sleeping when it's time to change the oil in my car), I am everyday proud and happy to be your wife.

Happy anniversary boo.

Je t'aime.

Here's to many more.

The Cake That Will Make It Seem Like You've Been Slaving Away In The Kitchen When You Really Have Been Drinking Margaritas In The Sun!

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 19:33:12 +0000

It's the day after Good Friday. How do I follow up a day of eating copious amounts of crawfish and decadent chocolate cream pie? I bake a cake…

Yep, that cake up there is an Easter basket cake made of yellow cake, chocolate fudge icing, coconut, Kit Kats and last but not least, Cadbury Mini Eggs.

And the best part is that it is super easy to make...for real...not like when someone says it's ''easy to make'' but then 8 hours later you've had to purchase a food processor, find real vanilla beans imported from Madagascar and learned how to pipe icing roses.

Nope.

If you can bake a Duncan Hines cake, open a can of pre-made icing, Kit Kat wrappers and a bag of mini eggs and then put some coconut in bag with a little green food coloring and shake it...then you won't have any problems!

The hardest part is tying that damn bow. (If there's anything I'm worse at then getting a joke, it's tying a bow.)

But thankfully there's the internet for that. To learn how to tie a nice bow watch this.

So anyway, if the envie strikes you, HERE is the recipe for this rad looking cake.

The only problem I have now is what to do with all of the EVIL left-over Cadbury Mini Eggs!

Any suggestions Mandy?

Joseph, The King Of Comebacks!

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 15:04:27 +0000

Joseph and Luke are at an age now where they play hard but also fight just as hard. Meaning one minute everything is fine and the next minute one…

Like the other day Luke was quietly sitting on the couch and Joseph decides to plop himself right next to him while devouring a bag of Cheetos...the crunchy ones.

Luke - ''I have 5 words for you Joseph! STOP CHEWING IN MY EAR!!''

Joseph - ''I have 5 words for YOU Luke! SHUT UP!!''

Luke proceeded to correct Joseph and explain to him that that was actually 2 words and not 5, but to no avail. Of course Joseph kept chewing and this conversation went on for about 5 minutes until Joseph got distracted by stickers and moved on.

And then yesterday.

(And I do realize that by telling you this story it makes me look like that mom whom all you other moms would use the whole ''have you been raised in a barn'' idiom to my child when they're over for a play-date. But I'm going to tell it anyway because, well, it was one of those moments that when it happened I just couldn’t wait for Mark to come home to tell him about it in the privacy of our closet so we could laugh our asses off then wonder and discuss where they come up with this stuff.)

So as usual the boys were playing some kick-boxing ninja game, and it started getting a little heated.

I don't remember what the argument was about but it had something to do with one's sword and one's lack thereof.

So Luke gets extremely frustrated and yells something like, ''YOU'RE STUPID!''

To which Joseph responds....wait for it......, ''TRICK OR TREAT BITCH!'' then whacks Luke in the legs with the sword.

Now first of all, I just want to say that language such as this is not acceptable in our house and they were both punished.

Second of all, it took me a while to figure out where in the world, in March, Joseph would have come up with ''trick-or-treat bitch”. Turns out it was in a preview for some movie on our Kindle that somehow he got access to. Password updated: check.

And lastly, I hope he forgets this particular doozie come October, because if not, I have a feeling there'll be a whole lot of tricks and no treats.