When I have left job because of my baby, I was little bit depressed from inside. I used to feel so proud and confident from inside that I am working and earning a decent package. I thought I would try to arrange some boarding for baby so that I can join the office again as soon as possible. I didn’t know that I am so homely. I am enjoying being at home. There are some physical work for 4/ 5 hrs when you cook or do dusting but there is no mental tension. At office you have to deal with bitching, office politics, work deadlines, BOSS in town, increments and many other things. On contrary at home I have to deal with Maid who works under me (I am the boss), no financial year end and at free time I can watch TV and can sleep at day time. People say that you become independent when you work, rubbish I am still independent. If I look for my baby at home and do cooking that doesn’t mean I am dependant on my partner. That is also a very important work and which you can’t ignore. After leaving job, my partner has given me full liberty to get whatever I want.
However I do think about working again but not before 3/ 4 yrs after that my baby will be old enough to be at day boarding in School. Just because of extra salary I will look for job not because of any other interest. Living standards have become so high that it leaves you no other option. Ok, I have diverted the topic. Well, it’s enough for today.

Have a nice day ahead to all working people

You have commitment, reliability and stability in your relationship but still you have nothing. When I see my life it has all the three which I have mentioned but one thing is missing that is love. Gradually, everything is getting so granted, I am married and I have a kid, where would I go. To whom I get dressed and to whom I want to impress, there is no one to appreciate. Does marriage means only responsibilities towards home and to your husband’s family. I used to think marriage is a bonding between two where one can say any stupid thing to your partner without a worry unlike being a terror that might be your partner thinking you are a dumb.

I understand, it’s not about romancing everyday but feelings are important. At present, my baby is the biggest joy in my life. He is adorable and for him I am the most important person.

Its pity that I can write all this bull shit here but the same thing I can’t say to him directly. Not because I am not open to him because I can’t just talk like this randomly. We hardly get a time to talk and in that we have to discuss important things related to home. In short my life is mess, and after reading this post by my partner it’s going to be more mess.

Last month I went to my Paternal and Maternal side. I saw my Mother busy in making Dinner and managing other house stuff. After few weeks I went to my paternal side. The same scenario, my Mother- in law was doing everything. My Mother- in Law showed me some pictures of my Father- in law when he got retired. She was feeling so proud and so thrilled in showing those. She was telling me how everyone in the office has congratulated him and there was a surprise party which she has arranged for him. It’s a day when every Men thinks that he is got Retired from all his work. Now he has Pension or previous investment for the financial support. He has given enough support to his family.

What about us? When do both of my Mothers will say, now we are retired? No more dependency on us. If I feel like making bed tea, then only I will do. There is no Compulsion on that. It’s pity that Women don’t have Retirement criteria. When will we order someone to make Tea for us?

It is always good to be active as long you live but sometime at the age of 60- 65, you may think of taking some rest and say Good bye to Kitchen.

I am enjoying Motherhood a lot but it was not that I always used to love kids. Handling kids were always big NO NO. Talking with kids is an art and I was very poor in that. I always used to get numb with kids, what to talk and how to make funny faces to make them laugh.

After having Nishank (my baby), I have started loving each and every child, as if I have become mother of all. Every kid has something special and making them laugh is like a cup of tea now. I feel proud that I can give all my time to my kid, pampering him, play with him and listens his alien language which only he can understand. Till now all his stages are different and I enjoyed all of them, except the potty thing (I will not get into the details of that).

I have seen some Mothers who always crib about their child, but the one thing which I don’t understand is that why we expect a small child to behave like a matured person. Its their age to explore new things. Excuse me, Nishu has wake up, I have to go now.

Love to all the kids

I am really missing friends these days. Someone with whom I can talk endless, laugh, fights, explore the city and have fun. I have lost all my good friends, not delibratly but everyone has the reason. I am missing all my friends so much.

I think I have become very negative towards life. Two of my previous post were also like this. Its not that I am very sad and weaps entire day but I think I have lost the spark of my life.

Cheers

Now it’s almost been a year since I left my job. I was getting a decent package but I don’t have any grudge of leaving my job. I am engaged in a job which is much more important and has first priority for looking after my child. He is my responsibility, I can’t depend on his paternal and maternal grandparents for that. I know all the reasoning of leaving my job but somehow in the back of my mind, I thought about my job, my salary, my office tours and retreats. I never ever cared about the money but after leaving my job, I started believe that salary does matter.
It was my own salary, I never have to give any account of that to my partner. I could have purchased any crap thing without giving any explanation to anyone. Although my partner never asked for any account but still I can’t spend his salary lavishly. Its not ethical. I don’t know, may be its ethical, the wife have all right on everything of husband. For me, I think thousand times before spending. I feel like I have become very poor, which I am not. I don’t know how other house wives manage it so well. Does they become care free about their husband’s salary and spend it where they want to or like me, think about the utility of the thing twice, thrice …. before actually purchasing it.

Its not a good post, bit confusing. Well you can imagine how difficult it becomes to take time for the blog when you have 7- 8 months old kid. I have written what I was going through, I don’t have time for the editing work.

Since last few days I was thinking what I have get after marriage. I may have thought because of frustration I was going through but today I am much more relaxed to write it down.

1) BEFORE: 2 yrs. back I was like an independent bird. My weekdays were also like weekends. Who says one get tired after office, I used to freak out even after office which used to close down at 1730 hrs. I have gone to all most all the restaurants in South Delhi area. It used to be such a fun. Weekends were in some movie hall with Sandwiches and Popcorns. Even the flop movie used to be so much entertaining.
AFTER: Can somebody tell me what is the difference in Weekdays and Weekends. Oh yes, on weekends, I have to make list of the household items like wheat, rice, oil, vegetables, masala powders etc. etc. It is better to order Pizza at home then to explore new restaurant in the area. No movie makes any wonder, you have to watch it silently for not to disturb husband.

2) BEFORE: Pocket money was the best. I used to take pocket money from my salary (my parents used to take care of my salary). I was like a princess, no tension before purchasing anything. Lee and Levis were my favorite brands for Jeans. I used to experiment variety of clothing, accessories, foot wear etc etc.
AFTER: Lee and Levis are gone, Newport is in. My part time job is to check out if there is any scheme going on like buy 5kg wheat and get 1 kg of sugar free. Its not that my partner tells me to do that, but you have to do because you are managing the finance of the house and you only are responsible for the future savings and investments for your own and for your child.

3) BEFORE: With my close friends I do have the commitment to stand by them but there was no legalities attached to it.
AFTER: I am now legally committed to my partner for life long. Not even in dreams I can think of leaving him. You have to compromise on certain things, whether you like it or not (this goes for both of us)

4) BEFORE: I was carefree, no responsibilities, no dusting, no cleaning, no cooking……
AFTER: Marriage comes with responsibilities towards your family which is actually good. I don’t know why but it is good to get responsible.

There are many other things beside these. There are so many good things as well after marriage but I can’t think of it now. May be sometime later I will mention those.

Have a happy married life to all married couples

I am blessed with baby boy last year. Now everybody can understand why I left. Out of sight, out of mind. I may not have started, but I was very feeling very low today, then thought lets see whats going on my blog. Opened the blog but forgot how to go on Dashboard. My partner revised me everything. I was over whelmed with the comments of my blog friends. Deepak I am not saying Good-bye, not so soon.

After so long, it becomes very difficult how to write. I have problems to share, I have topics to discuss and since I have become mother, I have so many things to write about kid, but don’t know how to begin with. May be after 2- 3 posts I will be back to track.

Let me first introduce my child, his name is Nishank (which means fearless) and he is of 8 months now. I will soon put his picture on my blog.

Now I am going to check out other blogs, will start writing from next post.

Cheers

I am having a tough time with my neighbors. They are Gujrati family. Since from last two weeks I am working from home; so the woman of the family got the chance to interact with me. She is not very much educated, nice in talking but her children are like fevicol. They enter into my home whenever my door is open. Her daughter still has some sense of not touching the stuff but her son is totally out of control. He goes directly into our bedroom; take the stuff which he likes. One day he ate around 8/ 9 mints in one go. I was surprised, although it was very funny. I think some parents pamper their child like anything. I can’t teach that boy not to do this, but at least his mother can do this.

Her daughter’s exams are going on. She told her daughter that she can come to me if she has some problem in studies. I can understand that, to educate a child is a good thing but she comes to me ask the questions from her note book and she will answer. This questionnaire can be done by her mother also, because the answers are available. They are not a poor family where they don’t have resources. She has a coaching teacher as well. For one or two days, it was fine. Now she even comes in afternoon time to ask, when would I be free to teach her. Its going crazy. Teaching her means, attending the entire package which includes her mother visits and her crazy brother.

I don’t how to say “No” to them. I am very shy to refuse something. I am getting very irritated now. Her daughter will come today at 4 pm, I wish if I can vanish for sometime.