Nigerian Village Square

Obama�s Stockholm Syndrome (Part 1)

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:14:43 +0100

As the supposed leader of the free world, Obama�s reluctance to support the Iranian people in their current revolt against the quasi-religious Mullah tyranny is particularly disappointing, and speaks volumes of his Islamist appeasement mindset. Perhaps, his most appalling display of servile capitulation to Jihadists was his recent hyped Cairo speech. The major thrust of his drivel was bending over backwards to appease Muslims and play into their false sense of victim-hood with profuse apologies for alleged historic transgressions by the West.

Operation �Throw My Shoe� At Any Looter That Comes Abroad To Launder Our Funds

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:46:59 +0100

Nigerian Public Officials: Beware! Europe and America are not more hiding places for your loot. We will snoop you out. We would meet you at your ports of entrance and departure. And we will embarrass you to a point that you have never been embarrassed in your life before. And we will post your embarrassment on YOUTUBE and other sites to globally publicize your embarrassment.

Oath-taking In Nigerian Politics

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:14:39 +0100

The people who swore to oaths in Okija at least have the decency to put on some clothes, but you people in Ogun state don't even bother to cover up anything at all. You just stand in front of the camera, golonto, in your birthday suit

Andy Uba: Time To Review An Ambition

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:12:46 +0100

What kind of country is this where Senior Advocates of Nigeria are used to mess up the judiciary? We will not allow this kind of practice. This is wrong. The appellant has been shuttling from one court to another on a matter that the Supreme Court had already delivered judgment.

My FMC Owerri Experience

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:16:45 +0100

I was down with tonsillitis, a mild inflammation of the tonsils that makes talking and swallowing extremely painful. Where do you expect to get the best treatment if not a federal medical facility? so I went to the nearest federal medical facility in Owerri for professional advise.

The Man Of God And Mass Hysteria

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0100

The seduction of the internet and new technology is so subtle so effective that it is fast becoming the preferred vehicle of transmission for many a man or woman of God, for you can mobilise and inspire �followers� with little expense. They can even use the medium to form and solidify a relationship of Daddy and son, Mummy and daughter even without ever meeting or speaking to their teeming �followers�.

On Life And Death

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0100

Mignon McLaughlin, the late American journalist and author, tells us that the death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive � perhaps for some purpose, which we ought to re-examine. Any such re-examination however usually leads to the ageless philosophical questions about life and death. What is really life? Is it worth all the hassle? Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there an afterlife? If yes, what type of existence takes place there?

The End Game: MEND Versus Federal Republic Of Nigeria

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0100

MEND got battered in the middle game and entered the end game badly bruised and realised that the game might be coming to an abrupt end. However, in chess, your opponent becomes more deadly when the game seemed to be coming to an unexpected end. That is when he becomes calmer and therefore able to think and see better. The government was coasting to an easy win when suddenly MEND discovered the age-long move - �kamikaze!�

I Am Back In Nigeria

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0100

How do I get rid of my Yankee Accent? Every time I open my mouth to speak, it gives me away. I keep forgetting that the currency is naira, and not dollars. Every time I say dollar this or dollar that, the merchants� eyes light up -- signifying �here comes another sucker, another mugu.� I am still not comfortable eating with my bare hands. I eat pounded yam and egusi and panla with knife and fork. The other day when I asked for a glass of coke on rocks with generous dashes of Hennessy, my host looked at me funny.

Economic Meltdown In Nigeria: Without Toxic Assets?

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:37:17 +0100

Nigerian banks unlike their American counterparts, do not invest sufficiently in housing or student loans for education, why should Nigerian banks suffer from a shock that may arise from investment specialty not practiced be Nigerian banks and from which Nigerian individuals do not and have not derived benefits?

Abortion: The Sub-Saharan Africa View

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:47:14 +0100

My earlier consideration on the abortion issue was that abortion was wrong and unacceptable in every situation except in those very extreme, one-out-of-a-million cases. As I grew older however and became wiser as to the world�s ways, I began to modify my views. My thoughts on the issue further took a rather radical turn after I graduated medical school and began practicing medicine in the real world.

The State In A Capitalist Nigeria

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:43:02 +0100

Somebody could be growing without necessarily developing. The people of Agbor call such a person an Onukwu or an Obolo , while the Igbos call such a person an Onukwu , the Yorubas use the term Ode. That is the state of Nigeria. The country is just growing but not developing. Tai Solarin, of blessed memory, once described this contraption, which looks like a molue thus ..a huge elephant with the head...

Are Bankers Really Killing The Economy?

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:03:06 +0100

Published five years ago, this article documents the stagnant rot we call our homeland. Can anybody tell me what has changed? I have a view on the relationship between bubble capitalisation, bubble equity and housing markets but that is a topic for a different day.

Before Turai Becomes President

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:40:03 +0100

Before you become President, remember, Madam, that though the burden of democracy may have forced truth to flee in the face of falsehood, and good men eulogize evil to bash around the bonfires of the banal...

A Ministry For Disarmament, Amnesty And Rehabilitation

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:10:10 +0100

AMNESTY package to gulp over fifty billion Naira! That was the headline in one of Nigeria's newspapers recently. So I told myself, we have done it again. Yes we have done it again!! I cry for my beloved country. The President just created the Niger Delta Ministry with a budget and Ufot Ekaete and co are still finding their feet in the creeks. A Niger Delta Technical Committee was earlier set up headed by Mittee.

Corruption And Bribery Can Be Beneficial To Nigeria�s Development

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:25:42 +0100

If the country cannot increase the outrageously low take home pay of a police officer, the unlawful activities should be turn to an economic revenue generation ��A bribe works miracles like a magic charm that brings good luck.� God Bribed Abraham by promising to make his descendants a great nation, and to give him and his family the land of Canaan (Genesis 12:1-7). Satan even bribes Jesus, when he took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world, and offered Jesus a tremendous bribe, that �All this I will give you if you kneel down and worship me.�

The Crooks Amongst Us: Nigerian 419 Is The USA Ponzi Scheme

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:11:27 +0100

In a Ponzi scheme, money from new investors is used to pay old investors. The circle continues because the old investors become new investors depositing bigger amount for investment. Eventually these investors� monies are swindled by the crooks called investment guru or mogul. Alas, a real 419 scam in Nigeria.

Halliburton Scandal: It Is Good News From America

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:51:38 +0100

This greedy and tiny group of people has held Nigeria to ransom for too long and it must not continue like that. I want to once again call on all well meaning and true progressive Nigerians regardless of our tribe and religion to please come together to wrestle this country from those, who only think of themselves, their families and cronies to the detriment of general wellbeing of Nigerians.

Most Powerful Men Always Standup For Charming Beauties

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:00:59 +0100

Any politician that does not smoke, drink or love women cannot be that much of a merry man, yet this Nigeria has produced such men. That type of man, people stay away from because he cannot be fun to deal with. Even then, these men do succumb to a beautiful wife that captures their hearts. In the writer�s part of the world, we find slang like �man pass man, position pass power�. Reference is also made to �bottom power� in terms of tempting power of women�s beauty.

Suing President Yar'Adua

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:28:45 +0100

Somehow, in two years of a trypanosomiasis-infested presidency, Mr. Yar�Adua has managed to make Obasanjo and Babangida look like apprentice teenagers in the art of mass killing of Nigerian citizens. Of the three, President Yar�Adua is the only one who even availed himself of the privilege of target practice. Just like the Germans practiced genocide with the Hereros of Namibia before returning to Europe to apply the fruits of their research in Africa on the Jews, Mr. Yar�Adua practiced with the village of Agge in Bayelsa state.

Who Do You Write For?

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:53:20 +0100

Do you worry that your grammar has lost its Nigerian/African flavor and that what you write�or even say�may not always be understood by �home� audiences? Are your metaphors, examples, proverbs, and turns of phrase so infected by the linguistic norms of Euro-America that you can no longer claim to write for Nigerians/Africans? If you are an academic or student in Euro-America, are your writings now so jargony and theory-laden that your colleagues and friends in the Nigerian educational system cannot or would not touch what you write? In short who do you write for?

Vision 2020 And The Role Of The Advertiser

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:13:27 +0100

The re-branding of Nigeria must begin with the re-branding of the leadership elite, and a general re-orientation of the citizenry, to inspire trust among the people and faith in the Nigerian brand. The test of the Vision 2020 process will not inhere in the production by October 2009, of a well-articulated policy document, it lies in translating projected goals into concrete and measurable inputs and outcomes.

When Ivory Towers Come Crashing Down

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:00:00 +0100

Through the prism of so many prisons, I see once cherished values dragged into the gutter of moral penury; I see students storming through a million pages without comprehension for a piece of parchment.

I Swear By S�p�nn�, Sango, Es�, Ala Or Amadi-Oh�!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:59:08 +0100

As for me, I say, �So, kin'ni big deal! We can fight fire with fire!! This is my simple solution - let all our politicians, at the point of being sworn-in, be made to swear by S�p�nna, S�ngo, Es�, Ogun, Al� or Amadi-Oh� or whatever malicious native deity that they have not sworn a blind oath of allegiance to another man for the purpose of being elected to this office!�

Bernard Madoff: The Man Who Made Off With Investors' Billions

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:49:14 +0100

Madoff never promised outlandish returns on investment, just a steady, consistent profit. He was even regarded as a business man that encouraged his clients to invest a little amount with him, check the returns for a while and then invest more. His genuine persuasive mien belied the monster beneath the fa�ade.

Are You On Twitter?

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:47:20 +0100

Nature wants me to visit bathroom. Addiction wants me to smoke. Kids want me to drive. Wife wants me to fix boiler. I want to run away...

Amala-Ewedu, Isi-Ewu, Tuwo-Sinkafa & Pounded-Yam Marketing

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:43:59 +0100

An urbane Nigerian can eat raw or semi-cooked fish or sushi, to prove his sophistication and assimilation or openness? Or eat escargot and fried frogs; why can�t the world spread the world towards Nigerian foods? what is this thing; which makes it possible for Nigerians and other Africans to be so �adventure-some� regarding other peoples� languages, foods, clothes, accents, religions and cultures and non Africans are somehow not equally-similarly �adventurous� with African religion, African languages, foods and African cultures?

The Black Race And Rape

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:25:51 +0100

With blood all over the place Anoka realized what he has done. The pain was unbearable and Amara could hardly walk home. The disgust and hatred Amara had for Anoka was so great that she was actually happy the day she learned Anoka had died in a road accident. Sadly, of the more than 25 percent of South African men that have raped, nearly half said they had raped more than one person, says the report by the Medical Research Council.

Zik, Onoh And An Elusive Anambra Gubernatorial Ambition

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:20:58 +0100

Zik did not win the Presidency in 1979 and could not have won, but he effectively prevented both the NPN and the UPN from getting Ndigbo Votes or penetrating the Igbo Political Space. He had also truncated the political career of the cream of Ndigbo Elites including Chief C.C. Onoh. Nobody could have imagined that Zik would contest Presidency at 74!

Book Review Nigeria�s First Secondary Grammar School By Reuben Abati

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0100

This book, edited by Ambassador Oladapo Fafowora, and written by two Nigerian journalists, Felix Kuye and Kabir Alabi Garba, co-authors previously of the biography of Pa Mac Alabi, a distiguished journalist and a legendary newspaperman, does precisely what it proclaims in its title: it offers a biography of the CMS Grammar School in Lagos, Nigeria�s first secondary grammar school. What is more remarkable in the account is the diligent manner in which the editor and the authors have used their subject as a platform for commenting on the personalities and institutions that helped to build the CMS Grammmar School, the impact of proprietorial and official policies on the education system, and the changing fortunes of the school system in Nigeria.

The Race Of Cultures And Africa�s Place In The World

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0100

Are we destined to be the butt of the human race forever? Why is it that we seemingly cannot break out of the usual and expected cycle of violence, diseases, and poverty, corruption and leadership failures? Are we wired differently from other races, is it in our genes, or some divine curse?

Corruption In Africa-A Call To Action!

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0100

Despite wide spread pseudo academic attribution of African political and economic peculiarities to the effects of slavery and other negative activities of the west in Africa and the attendant suspicion of any concept western - induced in Africans by dubious commentators, I believe in globalisation.

Odegbami: Rebranding Nigeria In Novel Ways

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:26:56 +0100

Let�s take a break from that which annoys us about Nigeria to that which uplifts. In about a week from now, precisely July 7-9, in fEngland, Nigeria�s �flag� will be flying at an Award ceremony where Chief Segun Odegbami will be amongst a host of other nominees drawn from all over the world being considered for an International Award: the Beyond Sport Awards 2009.

Show Me The Receipt Of Your Wristwatch.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:34:44 +0100

The Nigerian Policeman could be nasty and in the most annoying of ways. And for me, since my very first encounter with the Police at the age of 14, they have consistently exhibited the same form of behaviour bereft of the politesse and professionalism expected of a law enforcement agency.

Michael Jackson An Enigmatic American Icon

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:31:03 +0100

Race still creates hurdles in America and around the world. These hurdles are at times visible and invincible hurdles. Michael Jackson apparently took this to heart and too hard. Michael Jackson�s frontal attack on his own skin, nose and hair demonstrated how racial inferiority mindset can become a personal demon, once unleashed, cannot be tamed even by fame, riches or wildest success. Michael Jackson�s unusual relationship with his blackness in this context, make tragic sense.

The Hawking Of Insecticide Treated Nets.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:05:45 +0100

We shall assume that the authority, in this case the ministry of health is not aware. We shall assume that their workers don�t travel on the roads and have not seen the hawkers. We shall also assume that the nets simply grew wings and flew out of the hospitals or that perhaps every needy mother and child in this country has gotten a net and perhaps there is a need to dispose of the rest of the nets by hawking it

How Nigeria Lost Her Groove: The Tragic Story Of A Failed State

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:30:05 +0100

Country Nigeria has become hostage to armed robbers and kidnappers. What is even surprising, is that there is still an institution in Nigeria officially known as the government. Where is the government in this scenario of extreme anarchy and social lawlessness ? Without equivocation, the Nigeria state has calibrated into a failed state. The Nigerian state has failed.

The North Has Almost Conquered The South Culturally!

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 12:48:48 +0100

This brief essay is a rejoinder to an excellent essay written by Sunny Awhefeada on what he called the northernization of Nigeria. It states that the north is culturally conquering the south. Whether this phenomenon is good or bad is left to the reader to decide; the essay merely points out what seems an empirical fact.

Nigeria: Of Rulership And Craniology

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:08:39 +0100

Most Nigerians are convinced � without evidence � that something biologically weird happens to otherwise perfectly normal people when they get to Aso Rock or Government House in the state capitals. Some attribute the changes in these people to �something in the air that they breathe in the corridors of power� and I have heard others propose that it is in �the water they drink�.

Akure 27: Time For Mercy

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:21:53 +0100

By the time you read this some 27 Nigerian soldiers � someone�s child, sister, mother, brother or father � would have spent over 9 months in prison. It is 9 months out of what may end up being a whole lifetime if mercy is not shown to them � and early enough. For, of what use is mercy that comes too late!

Journey To Yenagoa At A Time Like This

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 07:21:41 +0100

The boys looked as if they had been taking part in muscle-building exercises. Pictures of kidnappers flashed through my mind. I had been carried away by the transformation of Yenagoa, and failed to realise that in spite of the unfolding beauty, I was in the heart of the Niger Delta, a territory that also belongs to warlords, kidnappers and militants. I wanted to go away immediately from Oxbow lake.

Michael Jackson, Superstar

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:58:07 +0100

True artists do not die, they live on in their works. Michael Jackson led a troubled private life, but his genius as artist was beyond doubt, and that was what mattered most.

The Wily Goose And The Rather Stupid Gander!

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:07:01 +0100

Stop selling us weapons, stop supporting rogue leaders and start freezing assets stolen by public office holders. Ban students whose parents are in government from your schools and stop granting them visas. If your only fear is crude, don�t worry about that; we will continue to sell enough crude to keep your big cars on the road.

Amnesty? Who Needs The Wind Of Change?

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 22:21:36 +0100

But I welcome the stand of some of the committed and truly dedicated fighters for the cause of the Niger Delta because I believe their continued challenge to the present government would benefit even my descendants as a Yoruba man! ... So why should we care if the country becomes ungovernable, afterall governance does not benefit us?

Commemorative Days: Let�s Declare A National Non-Stealing Day

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:37:27 +0100

The EFCC should take the lead in recommending to the federal government a �national non-stealing day or days� in which political and public functionaries are encouraged to lay off the wrongful appropriation of the proceeds of the public purse and assign such monies to their proper ends.

Still On Michael Jackson - Death Where Is Thy Fang?

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:57:13 +0100

It is inconsolable to lose a beloved friend, acquaintance or relation. While the corpse of the man in the street is just like a piece of wood, it is catastrophic to lose a loved one. The process of grieving never ends in some cases, when we refuse to let go of a departed soul. It is thus a testimony to the human nature when the death of someone, never seen or behold by so many in the physical, only interacted with by the vast majority through his music, evoked so much worldwide sadness and grief. It is a testimony to the greatness of Michael Jackson, that despite the confusion of identity and wholesome bizarreness which characterised the greater part of his life, his end was a worldwide catastrophe.

I Join Others To Mourn The Legendary Michael Jackson

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:46:14 +0100

The news came to me as indeed a whole generation of people around the world, that the great musical icon MJ died. It was a pleasant morning and I was just preparing to settle down to the day�s work when I heard. I screamed and screamed and screamed until someone told me that the louder I screamed would not change the news. I swallowed the news and remained shocked for many days after.

Real Politics And The Niger Delta Question

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:06:13 +0100

This is an essay on political realism. It points out that given the nature of politics, a competitive game where the strong dominate the weak and steal from the weak, that the current powerful groups in Nigeria, Hausas and Yorubas, are dominating Nigeria�s other ethnic groups and stealing oil from the Niger Delta.

Nigerians: The Happiest People And The Most Stupid.

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 15:25:13 +0100

The Yorubas of South-West are the most pathetic. They are quick to boast of their education and sophistication. Meanwhile, Adedibu and Obasanjo were the best they could come up with as national leaders. The former was the head of street urchins while the latter has a reputation for sleeping with his children�s wives.

The Cry Of The Hyena

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:06:11 +0100

The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming! There�s an old Hausa proverb �The cry of the hyena and the loss of the goat are one�. Nigeria has been celebrating the arrival of the chief hyena and his pack over the last week and has not understood that its goats are in mortal danger