Nino Firetto

Joan Collins says Cheryl Cole didn't boob

2011-05-30T05:39:00.000-07:00

Cheryl 'I'm a natural blonde'

Joan 'where's me bra'?

Cheryl Cole's apparently been sent some words of support from a Brit who DID make it in America. According to the Daily Express, Joan Collins says the Geordie pop star has had a 'really bad deal' from TV execs.

The X-Factor star has been axed from the US version of the show.

Researchers reckon they have worked out the price of love - and it's £24,000. That's the amount the average single man spends on dates, presents and romance BEFORE they ask a woman to marry them. It equates to nearly £300 a year on flowers, and £230 on chocolates. Apparently nearly 20 percent of married men wish they'd proposed earlier to save money.

Jerry Seinfeld is playing the 02 Arena next month so... to end...

Finally 10 Seinfeld zingers

- I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

- Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: A little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.

- There's very little advice in men's magazines because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

- Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out of the window.

- Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

- I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

- You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

- Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm half way through my fish burger and realise: "Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner!"

British women are rectangular.. forget the hourglass figure

2011-05-29T04:51:00.000-07:00

Marilyn Monroe hourglass figure? British women are more likely to be a rectangle
By Sean Poulter

Forget the hourglass – British women are more likely to be a ‘rectangle’, it seems.
There are now five times as many rectangular-shaped women as those with the classic Marilyn Monroe hourglass, research suggests.
Despite this, many of the fashions sold on the high street still apply this outdated silhouette.

As a result, nearly 60 per cent of women complain that they are unhappy with the fit of clothes labelled as being their size.

Almost one in two British women fall into the rectangle category, where there is little difference between the bust, waist and hip measurements. Examples include actresses Keira Knightley, Cameron Diaz and Nicole Kidman.
The figures have been collated by clothing fit analysts at Alvanon, which develops size models used by designers and retailers.
Using 3D imaging technology to measure 50,000 women in the UK and Europe, it has produced ‘more accurate’ templates.

Its ‘size 12’, for example, measures 35.4in on the bust, 28.3in on the waist, 35.4in around the high hip and 38.6in on the low hip.
Once applied in the high street, the proportion of women who find an excellent or adequate fit rises from 40 per cent to 63 per cent, Alvanon insists.
There are three other mainstream body types in the UK, a spokesman added.

One in three women is a ‘spoon’, where the hips are at least four inches wider than the bust. And slightly more than one in ten are ‘inverted triangles’, where the bust is at least four inches greater than the hips.
Nearly one in ten falls into the hourglass category, where the bust is at least 7in bigger than the waist while the hips are within 4in of the bust.
Christina Hendricks, who starred in hit U.S. TV series Mad Men, fits this shape. It is still seen as the ‘ideal’ form, and shops report strong sales of corsetry designed to achieve this.

Alvanon chief executive Janice Wang said: ‘People are frustrated and confused by the different sizes and fits they find on the high street.
‘The industry uses an hourglass figure, which has not changed for many years.
‘However, the reality is that the most prevalent shapes are the rectangle, which is not as curvy, the spoon and the inverted triangle. Brands need to adapt to reflect this reality.’
The research suggests there are some significant differences between British women and those on the continent.
Here, the average bust size is biggest - at 37.5in.
Dutch women, who are the tallest in Europe, have the thickest waists at an average of 32in. Britons rank second at 31.6in.
In terms of hips, the Germans and Dutch are most bottom heavy at 39.6in.
The British are at 38.8in, slightly above the Italians - who are smallest in every category - at 38.4in.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1391671/Hourglass-No-shapes-like-rectangle.html#ixzz1Njzgl8Cy

Grease Star dies

2011-05-28T02:20:00.000-07:00

I grew up watching Taxi and loved the character Wheeler played by Jeff Conaway and of course loved him as Kenickie in Grease.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) -

Actor Jeff Conaway, best known for his roles in the movie "Grease" and the 1970s TV series "Taxi", died on Friday at the aged of 60, his manager said.
Conaway, who had a history of addictions to drug, alcohol and prescription painkillers, was hospitalized two weeks ago after being found unconscious in his Los Angeles area home.
At the time, he was also suffering from pneumonia and sepsis and was recovering from a recent back surgery.

Those factors, coupled with the effects of long-term addiction, meant he never regained consciousness.
The actor's manager Phil Brock said his family took him off life support on Thursday and he died on Friday morning, surrounded by his sisters, nieces and nephews.
Conaway found fame when he starred as the wise-cracking teen Kenickie in the 1978 film musical "Grease," alongside John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.
He also became a television regular for playing Wheeler, a cab driver, on the hit comedy "Taxi."
"We lost someone that we loved on a personal basis," Brock told Reuters on Friday. "We tried to guide him through his struggles. We know that right now, someone in heaven is getting a hickey from Kenickie."
Conaway's problems with addiction were documented in 2008 when he appeared on the TV series "Celebrity Rehab."
Last month, Travolta offered to pay for the troubled actor to go back to rehab. Conaway never took him up on the offer.
"My heartfelt thoughts are with his family and loved ones at this very difficult time," Travolta said in a statement on Friday.
Brock told Reuters earlier this month that Conaway had a rough childhood. "When he was 7 years old, his grand-mother let him taste the moonshine she made in her bathtub; when he was 10 and a child actor, his dad took all his money and ran away. Later, Jeff had the world in his hand and would find ways to destroy it," Brock said.
"Putting aside his demons, Jeff is the nicest, kindest, gentlest soul," Brock added at the time. "He's a wonderful man, which makes it doubly sad that he is unable to conquer drugs. As a human being, he's the person who'd literally give the shirt off his back for someone."

From Yahoo...

Suzanne Mizzi RIP

2011-05-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I saw Suzanne and Frank. I do recall it was back in the 80's and they had invited me over to their home in East London for dinner. Suzanne looked beautiful as always and couldn't wait to show off their new house. She was very house proud and made me take my shoes off before giving me a tour. Frank was a charmer and as always the perfect host. They were a lovely couple. I lost contact with them years ago. It's strange though because I was only thinking about them the other day. Then this morning I read this in the Sun newspaper.

She was beautiful inside and out and had an amazing life as model, artist and designer

Says husband Frank Camilleri

By BRIAN FLYNN

PAGE 3 legend Suzanne Mizzi has died aged just 43 after losing her battle against cancer.

I can't remember the last time I saw Suzanne and Frank. I do recall they had invited me over to their home in East London for dinner. Suzanne looked beautiful as always and couldn't wait to show off their new home, She was very houseproud and made me take my shoes off before giving me a tour. Frank was a charmer and as always the perfect host. They were a lovely couple. I lost contact with them years ago. It's strange though because I was only thinking about them the other day. Then this morning I read this in the Sun newspaper.

The blonde beauty was a massively popular pin-up during the Eighties and Nineties.
Her 34-24-34 figure set millions of hearts racing and she was insured for a staggering £11million at the height of her fame.
Husband and childhood sweetheart Frank Camilleri, a property developer, said last night: "Suzanne was a beautiful person inside and out.
"She was a Page 3 girl, model, celebrity, artist and interior designer. She had an amazing life. We were together for 30 years."
Legendary Page 3 photographer Beverley Goodway, whose pictures turned her into a star, said: "It is tremendously sad news.
"She was one of Page 3's most successful and best-loved models. She was exquisitely pretty, just gorgeous, with amazing eyes, and the readers loved her.
"She was a wonderful person and great fun to work with, always very professional, organised and determined.
"You could count on her to make a shoot work, come what may.
"It always made me smile to see her put on make-up before a shoot. She would concentrate so hard that she would frown in front of the mirror - but in front of the camera she just lit up.
"Frank was always with her and it was always obvious how much they were devoted to each other."
Suzanne, who leaves behind a seven-year-old son Geo and daughter Sienna, six, died on Sunday afternoon at St Joseph's hospice in Hackney, east London, near her home.
She had been battling ovarian cancer for more than a year.
Suzanne shot to fame in 1984 after posing on Page 3 at 17.
Within weeks she was getting more than £1,000 a time for personal appearances.

Childhood sweetheart ... Suzanne Mizzi with beloved Frank Camilleri

She was in such huge demand - along with her great pal and fellow Page 3 star Sam Fox - that she posed for 26 calendars in the next six months.
By the age of 21 she had a three-year, £400,000 contract to launch her own lingerie range for Dorothy Perkins.
In 1991 she was voted the girl most men would like to take shopping in Paris by Esquire magazine and her bee-sting lips were familiar in commercials for brand giants such as Kellogg's, Marlboro and Fiat.

Stunner ... Suzanne Mizzi in her heyday

Suzanne went on to achieve success as a catwalk model for top designers, signing for elite model agency Storm, and also spending three years as the face of fashion designer Vivienne Westwood.
A lingerie company even took out an £11million insurance policy on her face and body.
In the past ten years she was a successful artist and interior designer known as Mizzy. Her abstract paintings sold for up to £10,000.
Suzanne, who divided her time between family homes in London, Spain and Malta, where she was born, once told how Page 3 opened up a life of fame and glamour that she loved. She said: "I travelled the world. It was an amazing opportunity. We were part of a British institution - treated like movie stars."

Big hit ... Suzanne Mizzi with Muhammad Ali

But she was also proud of her later career. She added: "People think it's strange that a Page 3 girl is now an interior designer but I have always cared about the environment in which I live.
"Even as a teenager, my bedroom was always immaculate and when my friends used to come round they always said how beautiful it was.
"My work shows there's much more to me than a pretty face that used to appear on Page 3 years ago."

b.flynn@the-sun.co.uk

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3598763/Farewell-to-Page-3s-Suzanne-Mizzi.html#ixzz1NOIlzXI5

Thinking about you Frank and familly - Nino

Attacks outside Ryan Giggs home

2011-05-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

Shy and retiring Imogen

Photographers' cars attacked outside Ryan Giggs' home

Six photographers' cars parked near home of Manchester United footballer have been vandalised by group of masked assailants.

Manchester United Footballer Ryan Giggs. Photograph: Gary Calton

Six cars belonging to photographers that were parked near the home of Ryan Giggs have been vandalised by a group of masked assailants. Police were called to the Manchester United midfielder's house in Salford on Tuesday after vandals jumped out of a Ford Transit van and attacked the vehicles. No photographers are thought to have been injured in the attack. Their cars are believed to have been targeted because of the media attention surrounding Giggs. Greater Manchester police issued a statement saying they were called to Giggs' house shortly after 3.20pm "following reports a number of cars had been damaged". "Officers... discovered at least six cars had been vandalised after offenders arrived in a Ford Transit van and attacked the vehicles." The former Wales captain was named in the House of Commons on Monday as the footballer alleged to have had an extra-marital affair with the model Imogen Thomas. Greater Manchester police said inquiries into the incident are ongoing. From the Guardian

Puzzle .. spot the hidden word

2011-05-24T03:10:00.000-07:00

Okay so I admit it.. I do puzzles. I find em theraputic. I do my best thinking while I'm putting them together. Anyhoo, whilst doing the 1000 piece puzzle, The Farmyard by Mike Jupp... I have found two interesting pieces.. with hidden words . Can U see them?

Famous quotes

2011-05-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
In China, when you're one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. - Bill Gates
It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. - Rabindranath Tagore
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen
Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence. - Eddie Cantor
Gray hair is God's graffiti. - Bill Cosby
We must take change by the hand or rest assuredly, change will take us by the throat. - Winston Churchill
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin
You can always count on the United States to do the right thing, once it has exhausted the alternatives. - Winston Churchill
The worst thing that can happen to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you. - Will Rogers
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you have ever tried. - Ricky Gervais
There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter Drucker
When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool. - Edward Teller
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. - Mark Twain
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful. - W. C. Fields
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx
It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. - Mae West
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill
It isn't pollution that is harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle
Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
You only get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so many times. - Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't. - Robert Benchley
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - University of Kentucky Forward Winston Bennett
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not. - Albert Einstein
If everybody's thinking the same thing, then nobody's thinking. - George S. Patton
I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers
I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx
It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Front page of the Sunday Herald

2011-05-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday Herald May 21st

Here's what Yahoo are saying;

A Scottish newspaper has named the footballer who is being linked to a controversial privacy case.

The footballer is alleged to have been named in tens of thousands of messages on the Twitter microblogging site, run by a California-based company.

The Sunday Herald newspaper published a thinly concealed front page photograph of the player. They printed his face with his eyes blacked out and "censored" written over the top.

Beneath the picture they wrote: "Everyone knows this is the footballer accused of using the courts to keep allegations of a sexual affair secret".

The newspaper is the first mainstream publication to identify the player.

The injunction was originally issued to gag Big Brother star Imogen Thomas and the media from naming the player over an alleged affair, but hundreds of people have now posted messages on Twitter allegedly naming the footballer as the subject of a gagging order.

The married star, who is referred to as CTB in court documents, is said to have had a sexual relationship with Ms Thomas.

He obtained an order preventing The Sun newspaper from revealing his name last month and has now launched proceedings against Twitter and "persons unknown".

In an editorial, the Sunday Herald said it was "unsustainable" for newspapers not to be able to print information which is available on the internet.

It said: "We should point out immediately that we are not accusing the footballer concerned of any misdeed. Whether the allegations against him are true or not has no relevance to this debate. The issue is one of freedom of information and of a growing argument in favour of more restrictive privacy laws.

The price of love?

2011-05-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

My gender is an arse. I’ve known it for years. Did you know that British men have been getting duped into thinking that they have fallen in love with some exotic bird from Thailand for years now? It could happen to your father or to you. These men are usually in their golden years, old enough to know better and either listening to their penis's or are stupid romantics! Maybe even both.

Regardless of how much evidence you can produce telling stories of like minded gents that have fallen victim to parting with their life savings, they are adamant that their love is the one that’s real. "Dachanne really loves me", I heard recently.

You know there are websites now with pages that you can browse through to choose your submitting angel? One who will love you, tie your shoe laces, fuss over you, cook, clean and blow you at your command. The character Ting Tong from Little Britain isn't so far off of the mark?

You can spot these lambs to the slaughter most days walking up and down aisle’s of Lidl's with their Thai pet walking obediently behind them. More often than not they end up getting fleeced, left sad, pathetic and a lot poorer. I know this because my father handed over my inheritance to one. £750,000 plus.

My mother, his wife of over 45 years, was the woman he wanted back in his life, right up too the day he died. He rang my mother from his death bed whispering his love, while the Thai lady sat downstairs watching TV, oblivious of his physical pain and the mental anguish.

My mother? Well, she got nothing. The Thai woman ended up with it all. My father’s assets, that he had worked hard for all his life, and our family home, the one we grew up in. Soon after my father died she sold up and went back to Thailand to distribute her wealth to her family. So my dad let us all down. My mum, my sisters and me... because of his dick. My father’s legacy, ladies and gentlemen.

When I tell this story to women they are only too quick to comment on the stupidity of the mere mortal man. You would think that the smarter gender would not be as gullible, wouldn’t you? Just as it seems that it’s part of some Thai women’s culture to trap an Englishman, there are Gambian men out there trying to lure our weaker sex to a similar fate.

I have been checking online this morning for stories of women who have blindly followed a similar path. Just put ‘Women conned by Gambian men’ into Google and see what comes up. Stories of Gambian men and their wonderful manners and attention to ‘her needs’. These men prey on the female equivalent. The unloved, vulnerable and the starved of attention.

“Gambian men are true gentlemen”, I heard recently. He is 28 years old and she is in her 70’s. Yes, this time it’s my mother who has been flattered by the toilet attendant at Sainsbury’s. She met him 3 weeks ago and he’s already asked her to marry him twice. She’s thinking about it.

Four goats slaughtered in 'satanic ritual' in rural Devon village

2011-05-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

From the Daily Mail

Not 'The' goat but one that looks like it

Four goats have been found brutally slaughtered in a rural village - sparking fears of killings linked to a 'satanic ritual'.
The animals were discovered dead within a few days of each other in the village of Tipton St John, Devon.
Each goat was found either with their head twisted backwards or with their throat cut.
Jimmy Small, 66, who owns a small holding in the village and lost two of his goats to the killer, said: 'The whole village is up in arms over what is happening.
'Everyone is talking about it and locals are keeping their eyes open.
'I recognise it could have something to do with the occult.
'One of my goats was left dead foaming at the mouth with a swollen belly.
'The other I found dying and crying with its head twisted backwards.
'This has horrified locals. What sort of people could do this?
'The goats were killed three days apart and it is very worrying. I can't believe anyone could do such a thing.'

Eurovision

2011-05-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

It's Eurovision time again...
Admit it you've watched it! We've all seen it, even if it's only for a few moments. It's my guilty pleasure. I once watched it in Spain surrounded by a wonderful, vocal, Spanish family. Their attitude towards the competition was very much the same as my own.
Criticism of the hosts, dresses, singing and judging and making excuses for your own country's poor performance. As I write this Lithuania is belting out a ballad in English/Lithuanian and it's... shit.. no wait... She's now signing as she sings. Not even the deaf can escape.

^ That's his cock

I must say though, it isn't the same without ol' Terry Wogan. Graham Norton doesn't do it for me. Actually he's quite subdued tonight. If he shuts up then it might be a good performance from him.

Terry Wogan.. don't look directly at his crotchuler region.

Prediction; Jedward and Blue to be in the top 5

Wedding and Fowey

2011-05-10T14:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy few weeks guys so sorry if you're feeling unloved. Get used to it.... it looks pretty busy on the horizon too.

Exeter Fm is flying at the moment and I've been involved with lots of great stuff with them. Did you enjoy the royal wedding? I did. Stacy and I got all dressed up and headed over to the Travellers Rest at Tedburn where Exeter Fm held their garden party. Loved it. Thanks to Tim, Trish, Diane and Andy and my furry friends Guinness and Pixie the dogs.

Me with Edith (65yr) Edna (72) and Dot (68)

I was on the look out for any left over sandwiches. Here I am acting as the 'Crust Cop' Making sure everyone ate their crusts.

It keeps you young ya know?

Stacy and I spent a bit of time down on Par Sands the other week. That was lovely too. I forgot to take photos so here's a drawing of a grain of sand .

Have you ever been to Fowey in Cornwall? It's lovely. There is an amazing hotel there called Upton House... you MUST check it out. It's a boutique hotel and the owners are inspired. They are Angelique and Paul and the hotel has only just opened. The beauty of it is all the furniture, everything you see there, is for sale in their shop downstairs.

This is the Flamingo room. Love it... check out their website and go and stay there.

UPTON HOUSE

Stacy had a wonderful surprise today... I drove her up to Bath to find some new shoes and as we enjoyed a coffee in the square.... her best friend from LA strolls up and say's "Hello". Yes, Carine (her friend) and I had been planning it for months. So a wonderful day and a tiring one. I won't leave it so long till the next time. Cheers peeps. I will leave you with more drawings of sand .......

Pleasant little pluckers

2011-04-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

This is amazing..

2011-04-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

For Mothers Day..
...for any day really

Poolside

2011-03-26T16:20:00.001-07:00

Poolside 21 August 07 Red hill circle, a photo by ninoradio on Flickr.

That reminds me I need a break :)

Just a diary date Sunday the 6th of March

2011-03-06T03:09:00.000-08:00

Din dins

Hey! C'mon, it's not bad is it? I cooked the pasta dish on the left only the other night. It's my safe dish. I've got a repertoire of about a dozen dishes and some of them really fancy. Sometimes when I'm in the mood I'll dive into the kitchen and get creative.

Everything is edible, some things are only edible once!

Our hungry cat

My sisters like to block out the sun.

I've been cooking pasta since I was big enough to reach the gas knob on the cooker. Two years!

I'm back in the gym now though. I put on a couple of pounds last weekend when my mother came down. We took her to a dozen places and we stuffed our faces and of course the carbs in this week's pasta haven't helped. We like food in my family.

Health conscious dad studies his piles.

It's Sunday today and Stacy and I are heading out into the countryside to find a little cafe where we can set up our computers and write stuff. I'm still working on my masterpiece. So if you don't hear from me for a while don't panic...

Charlie Sheen

2011-03-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Okay I've amended this blog... After reading it back and what with Charlie's continued high profile escapades. He's certainly not the man I knew. I've heard from a very close mutual friend and it's bad.

A sad loser

Charlie is in self destruct mode. He's not a happy man. Despite his rantings on television lately that 'He is a winner'. He's pushed his true friends away and he's losing his children in custody battles.
He has surrounded himself with 'yes people'. So called friends that are fanning the fire of insanity. Some with their destructive comments on Twitter. The sad thing is we are all voyeurs to a Hollywood star's illness and we're not taking it seriously.
Where is the 'Intervention' or is that too late?
His TV show is on ice and there are rumours of John Stamos taking over his role. Charlie has lost his acquaintances, family, agent, job and respect. All because of this illness.

And what makes it worse is he had it all. A wonderful family, fame and fortune. I say 'acquaintances' by the way, because his true friends will always be there for him.

It's very difficult to take pity on a multi-millionaire who has lived the dream. A man who now takes pleasure in telling the rest us, in TV interviews, that he is better than we are. But we must. Not pity him but help him.

Bi-polar? I have spoken to a psychiatrist friend from LA who says that Charlie's rantings are that of someone showing classic Bi-polar disorder. He needs to be hospitalised. He is in denial. There has been a lot of speculation over his behaviour and, however lucid he may appear, his actions show that he is just getting worse.

He helped Stacy and I when his own marriage to Denise was in a very bad way. They both found a place for us in their own home, despite their troubles.
Charlie fed us, entertained us and was a gentleman. He tried to put our problems ahead of his own. I wish I could return the favour but an addict, as we all should know, has to want to help themselves first. And Charlie, at this point, doesn't. His problems are deep seated and he will need more than just a shoulder to cry on.
The good news is that when intervention, or what ever it takes to see him right, does comes along, the idiots with him now will be stripped away and he may claw back what he's lost.

I still support Charlie and forgive all the dumb ass things he says because they are not coming from him. I know from first hand experience that there is a decent man inside and that this illness knows no boundaries.
It hits at the young and old, the rich and poor, famous and infamous, men and women. I just hope he finds help sooner rather than later.
Before watching any of the Charlie Sheen broadcasts or interviews - read this first MANIA

Me and Charlie Sheen

2011-02-26T14:43:00.000-08:00

As you can see by the infrequency of my blogs, I've won the lottery and can't be bothered to post anymore. Well that was last week and I've now spent the £10 which means...

Here comes a potpourri of drivel. I've had a pretty good few days. Mum came to visit from Wiltshire and it was lovely to be able to show her some of my favourite places around Devon. She loved it and has said that she would be coming down a lot more often.

Stepping in bear sh.. Nice.

Stacy and I went for a walk through Haldon Forest to take some bog roll to a messy bear.

Question; Why do inflatable dolls always look surprised by the size of your penis?
Listen!

Here's a bit from this morning's show about Mr and Mrs Average... you?

Charlie with his angels

Charlie..MAD? He's a genius.

He jetted off on a holiday taking his ex wife Brooke, a porn star and the hot nanny. Kudos to the man for getting all three of them together!

What's wrong with HR, The Oscars and Carol McGiffins face?

2011-02-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

An Oscar

So I've started penning the screenplay. It won't be long now before it ends up on the big screen. I've also started to write my Oscar acceptance speech. Don't you hate all these awards ceremonies? They seem to come around at this time of the year. The Baftas, The Brits, the Effing Privileged. Self congratulatory and so far removed from real life. 'Get a proper job' as my grandpa might say. And the winner is....
Speaking of which, I was pleased that the UK version of the USA hit The View, Loose Women, never won anything at the National Television Awards.
I saw it for the first time, in a long time, a few days ago.
I thought it was called Loose Women because of it's reference to 'loose talk' but it seems I'm wrong. It is in reference to Carol McGiffin's skin which is so loose it no longer clings to her head.

Carol McGiffin a classy lady?

Yes, it's fallen off the bone and is very scary, so my little daughter, that I don't have, screamed. Carol once told me she had a dream about me (true). It left me traumatised for a long time.

Pictured here we see Carol's arse escaping her torso again. (The first time was when ex husband Chris Evans left!!)

If you work in HR can I just say 'Go and fuc* yourself'?' There was a time when someone who had applied for a vacancy would receive some sort of acknowledgment, whether successful or not.
It seems the practice these days is to ignore the unsuccessful applicants. Replying is deemed a pointless and time consuming exercise by many corporations. In truth it is downright rude, a reflection of them and their thoughtless companies policies.
Unfortunately this practice adds to what is wrong with today's uncaring society and the way we treat our fellow man.
This is a time when jobs are few and many people are struggling to make ends meet. Wouldn't an acknowledgement that your application was received and considered, do more for your self esteem than just being ignored? Would it not encourage you to try again and not to give up? Many of the job applications can be very time consuming for the person trying to better themselves.
For everyone that receives a letter of acceptance there are at least five others left waiting for a reply and still living in hope. So HR, as you seem to understand rudeness, I repeat. Go fu*k yourself.. You should be ashamed. .. - Rant over.. bring on the weekend.

Misleading advertising and Jamie Oliver the new Timelord?

2011-02-10T12:04:00.000-08:00

Have you seen that advert on telly for laser eye surgery by Optical Express? The ad goes on about the benefits of treatment and it's just £395 per eye. Brilliant. If you're a Cyclops.

BEFORE AFTER

I'm going to have my left eye done and then save my hard earned money to go do my right eye. That will be in a few years time, but by then my left eye will need doing again. It's a vision circle!
The real price for the treatment is going to be about a £1,000. It's a shame they don't tell us that in the TV ad's. I believe the advertisers think blind or partially sighted people must be stupid. Stevie Wonder is blind and I believe he's quite clever.

Stevie dresses in the dark

A bit more honesty from the advertising peeps would be nice. Would you buy the truth? Ads can be so misleading. Stacy and I love watching them to see if we can spot the 'it's bollocks' words. If the product is endorsed by a TV celeb, watch to see if their lips are moving. That is always a good indicator that they are lying. Words like 'In my opinion' or, with beauty products, listen out for words like 'Gives the appearance of' or 'To me'. Anyway, you get the idea. I'm bored with that now. Staying with television though...

A pinch of Sugar!

Watched Jamie Oliver's 30 Minute Meals on TV tonight. Have you seen it? It's a bloody joke. First of all the food preparation must have taken him an hour then it's going to take him 2 hours to clean the pans. And his idea of 'Just a pinch of sugar' would give Usain Bolt a cardiac. He's the Olympic runner, the chap who ran a hundred meters in 4 seconds. Stacy met him once and tried to get his phone number. I think she was trying to pull a fast one! HEY! come on that's a great joke, that.

Brad Pitt

Valentines is creeping up on us again. Do you have a creepy lovey dovey name for the other half? I call Stacy my current wife. Laugh? I had to go to the hospital to have the kitchen knife removed from my back.
According to a survey by a crap supermarket trying to cash in, the top three names are Cutie Patootie, Snuggles and bizarrely, Killer!. ...

Pooh Bear, Muffin, Pumpkin, Petal, Sugar and Baby Doll are also favourites. Apparently Angelina Jolie calls Brad Pitt 'Butters' after the character in South Park. Michelle Obama calls the US President 'Pumski'. Go on Pumski, push the button.

Andy Murray couldn't beat an egg and Lenny Henry isn't funny

2011-02-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

34" waisted Lenny before he got wasted

Did you see that magic show on television over the weekend? The true magician has got to be Lenny Henry's agent.

He has managed to conjure up a Saturday night gig for someone who hasn't been funny since he last had a 34" waist. The funniest thing about Lenny was his ex wife Dawn. Bet Lenny can't believe he's still working.

Next time use a bigger bat. deadbeat.

Felt faint Sunday. It didn't last long... I thought I was going down with something but I fought back and it didn't happen. Pretty similar to Andy Murray's day really. I hear that Andy has been following the advice from George Osborne, and other politicians, he blamed his tennis defeat on "the mess left by Tim Henman! He hit the back of the net so many times, I'm surprised he didn't sign for Chelsea before the transfer window closed Monday.

Eunice's dad

Sad to hear that the world's oldest woman, Eunice Sanborn, has died in Jacksonville, Texas, at the age of 115, I think we lost her somewhere between the 58th and 63rd bumps.
I'm going now.

A Horny milkman, Vernon Kay's murder plot and a bit of the show

2011-01-27T02:33:00.000-08:00

How's your week working out? Monday I get a call from a friend to tell me that I am in this month's edition of Exeter Living, yeah!

It's the special 100th Edition that has a feature called the Top 100 Things to Love about Exeter and South Devon. At number 18? 'Waking up to Nino on Breakfast at Exeter FM'. I am very happy with that.

Number 15 is local boy Chris Martin from Coldplay and number 43 is celebrity Chef Michael Caines.

Number 1 by the way is Exeter Cathedral. Which I think deserves to be there, let's face it, it's been around a lot longer than I have. The full 100 list can be found in the magazine. If you're a cheapskate you, can read the online version here. I prefer this version because you can't get paper cuts.

EXETER LIVING ON LINE MAGAZINE

Stacy is happy to 'Wake up to me' too, although she can't remember the last time that she did! You see, I'm out of bed and at work ready to do my breakfast show at 4.30am.

Sad I know, but at least the sheets are still warm for the milkman and our milk bill is low again this month.

Ernie our Milkman

Tuesday 10am and are you feeling stressed? Not if you're our milkman your not, but it seems that half of British employees pin-pointed mid-morning on Tuesday as their 'stress peak'. That's when their workload becomes 'too much' and they start to crumble under the pressure. I, like my wife, like to be horizontal everyday at 10am.

Wednesday,
Bugger bugger bugger... the carpet is ruined. I've had to pull it up and throw it out. There's been a lot of rain and a blocked pipe has caused a leak to go undetected. The smell gave it away in the end. Good news, though, there was a treasure map hidden beneath the underlay and Stacy and I will be setting off for Barry Island this weekend.

Real hair but the face is fake!

Did you see the National Television Awards? The ITV/BBC/Vernon Kay collaboration to try and kill off Bruce Forsyth failed. It should have been the perfect crime and made the award ceremony worth watching. Witnessed by millions of viewers and in front of a live audience. The demise of Strictly's geriatric host was not to be.

The plan was to announce that he had won the 'special' award for being on the TV for too long and being the presenter most likely to piss himself. The excitement of winning and being recognised by his peers should have seen him fall to the stage clutching his over-exposed chin, after tinkling on his microphone wire and frazzling himself to a jellied mess. There's always next year Vernon.

And finally here's a bit from Thursday morning's radio show.
Listen!

Did you see... Comedy Awards, the Moon, Jennifer Aniston

2011-01-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

Did you see the Comedy Awards on Saturday Night? Host Jonathan Ross played it safe, Russell Brand's rant was inspired and the rest was doo doo. Miranda? Are you having a laugh? Yes, apparently you are. Miranda Hart picked up a three awards and one of them was the People's Choice Award. YES, as voted for by YOU, the comedy loving pubic of Great Kingdom.

Miranda Hart

I don't get it. It's a show about a huge, badly dressed, gangly bird who spews comments into camera. She has stolen her act from that other clumsy aves from Sesame Street. Am I the only one who cringes when they all do that cutesy dancing bit at the end? Apparently yes. No awards for Lee Mack or Armstrong and Miller?

Did you see this story over the weekend about the A-list Hollywood celeb's that were being ripped off?
Maria Hashemipour, owner of the exclusive Beverly Hills Chez Gabriela Studio, is reported to have made £186,667 in unauthorised charges to clients including Jennifer Aniston, Liv Tyler, Anne Hathaway, Halle Berry, Cher and Melanie Griffith.

Jennifer likes a Moon

She allegedly stole her clients' credit card information and making fraudulent purchases on their behalf. Love that she thought she would get away with it.

Did you see the Moon last week? It was the size of a planet. Exeter looked gorgeous with this huge ball hanging over it last week. Stacy and I stopped the car on a hill to the south of the city to gaze upon the twilight. We both feel drawn to the Moon, we both love it and we both enjoy 'doing it' out of the passenger window as we pass old people in the slow lane on the M5 near Cullompton.

Jabbas wrapped lunch

And for those reading this blog in countries with censorship that aren't supposed to know women have cracks in their arses.. look at this touched up photo and not the distressing one above.

Audio, News and Weekend

2011-01-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

This is fun. I found a new toy to play with on Twitter it's called audioboo. You can share audio .. so here's some for you... testing testing 1, 2, 3.. AUDIO
Listen!

Just hit that arrow thingy
That was fun.

I have just finished working on a very exciting media project. I can't tell you what it is because if I did I'd have to shooo.... I hate that saying. It's so stupid. The truth is I can't tell you because you might nick it, I don't trust you and like Dannii Minogue, your i's are to close together.

I've also been updating my website... I really don't like the look of it but I've added a new page ' Latest Newsie Bits'.
It needs a lot of work. I'm sure, come next week, it'll look brilliant or else I would have given up and pretended it never happened - Adolf Hitler, Berlin, 1944
Any plans for the weekend? I'm working Saturday morning, 7-10am then we're probably going to Bristol to do some shopping. What ever you're up to enjoy and lets get together next week.

Here is Eliza Doolittle to start my weekend.

Gervais, Howard Stern, Piers and the Big Fat Greek Weddings

2011-01-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

Ricky Gervais did what he thought would be the cool thing and slagged off those fine airheads of Hollywood at that 'Awards do' the other night. I like Ricky but, lets face it, he was only playing the game and not well. Making himself unpopular with the press and public just to grab some headlines.

Regardless, his comments, although controversial, just weren't funny. Maybe he's been watching to much Dick and Dom!.

Loved him in The Office and Extras. It seems Ricky is good on the small screen but shite on the silver screen. Name me a movie with Ricky Gervais in it? Now one where he isn't being held up by his pal Ben Stiller.

Still looking for our dog. A friend of ours got her puppy today and Stacy and I were very envious. It's a Cockapoo. Half Cockatoo, half children's bear.

Did you see Big Fat Gypsy Weddings on 4 Tuesday night?

Coming to a field near you

I thought it was brilliant. It showed the often extravagant and surprising world of gypsies and travellers in Britain today, focusing on rite-of-passage celebrations and revealing the community's attitudes toward gender roles, education and outsiders. Travellers get a lot of bad press but this showed them to have a code of conduct and morals. Sadly lacking in other so called British cultures. Shame they don't pay taxes.

Brilliant driveway £8,500

Okay, at times they most definitely lacked class, but that's probably because I'm a snob. The girls went out and partied. They did it without drink, with a bunch of other girls, acting as chaperone's and they phoned their mums every hour. They took pride in their homes AND they can tarmac your drive while you're out, often without you even having to ask.

Who'd of guessed? Peeeers Morgan, the TV interviewer with the personality of a 40 watt table lamp, is a hit on American television!

Piers Morgan

His first guest, Oprah, coyly blew smoke up his arse when he asked the question 'Have you ever been in love?' to which she replied 'What a great question. Oooh you're good'. GOOD? That's the sort of question a fuc*ing 15 year old asks on CBBC. C'mon Oprah.

Thank God for DJ Howard Stern who gave him a tougher time when he appeared on the show. The 'shock jock', 57, told him: 'I want to congratulate you on unseating a 95-year-old man'.

Thought I'd post something here as it's been a few days. Lets touch base again soon, okay?