Mind in Toes

Welcome to The World of Pain

2012-01-25T01:18:00.004-05:00

Today my physical therapist told me that I should consider wearing a cervical collar while sleeping. Apparently, the reason for my waking-up-in-pain days is my neck, that performs some sort of movements à la Exorcist during the night. I've previously woken to a dislocated wrist, and that wasn't much fun, but the idea of my neck exercising circus acrobatics on it's own while I'm sleeping is rather absurd. She is no doubt right, but it's still slightly creepy. I've decided to call it the DC-phenomenon, after all, Exorcist was filmed here.

I managed through my acting class, and I think I'll be able to enjoy it eventually. Visual Thinking... well, if the course gets to the point of doing anything else than stating the obvious, I think it might also end up quite nice. I'm feeling very regretful about having a different teacher this semester on my English Composition class, my previous teacher gave me such great support and now I'd dearly need it.

I sleep with a burgundy colored stress ball in my hand. I can't turn my head much, and I've developed a habit of drinking yogi tea to help with all the pain and deal with the I-dunno-what-to-do-cause-AARGH. Also bought some new leotards (Danskin/NYCB ones), to encourage my desperate attempt to continue ballet. During last summer I took some Bikram yoga classes, and liked them, and now I feel robbed from all the things I've used to manage stress.

I see dreams about blood and gore, muscular snakes strangling and swallowing me. I've been thinking if the word trapeze has anything to do with trapezius, and if shoulder blades actually once were wings. And this is without the painkillers. With the painkillers, I lie on the floor in an x-position and try to forget my existence.

Faults and Stars

2012-01-19T18:37:00.008-05:00

What a horrid day! I woke up in pain, my neck and shoulder aching so bad I could barely move my head. My physical therapist Danelle - who btw is brilliant - treated me with ice, heat, ultrasound, the whole shebang. Still, I came home and cried. All movement seems to aggravate the injury and I'm afraid that my doctor will be unable to do much about it. At least my painkillers are working, and my feet have been keeping themselves together through all the stretching - oh the silver lining.

I recently finished The Fault in Our Stars - the first book I've ever pre-ordered (and it's a signed) - by John Green. What a wonderful book! I of course read it cover to cover in two days, that's what happens when you have a captivating book in your hands. For anyone who has ever battled with long term illness, this book is a jewel. It's no pity party, not a book that makes you cry and feel guilty, simply a charming, feel-good book. Do read!

On my way home today I heard some teenage girls "talking", to put it politely, about girls on their class, and more specifically, their looks. Teenagers are always so cruel, that seems to be unavoidable, but the ideals they seemed to hold made me want to give them a good old fashioned spanking to get some sense into their heads. I'm don't have a very precise idea of beauty, and although I'm an esthetic to the bone and do think that making an afford to please that esthetic sense of mine is essential, I'd never push those ideals in the expense of health. When I hear a group of young women criticizing one of their owns based on the width of their thighs, I don't know what to think. What scares me, is if these ideals they have are carried to their adulthood.

In many ways I've lived a long time in an ideal environment when it comes to good body image. Surrounded by fairly healthy, balanced friends, who've set their priorities right ages ago and are living the life to it's fullest. Confident and comfortable in the skin they're in. So this got me thinking about where it has gotten me with my own ideals. If I could change my body, what would I do? No doubt I'd like a smaller bust. It would be nice to wear buttoned shirts and strappy leotards. A flatter tummy is on my wishlist too, but in the end I have no wishes that I couldn't fulfill. I prefer having some soft spots.

I've been asked what "my type" of woman would be like. Now here is finally the answer: Women who know the difference of making an effort and making a fuss. Strong and healthy and fun. I have to admit, many of my friends fit into this category. Want to go to the vanity side? I have a thing for magnificent eyebrows, tiny bumps on the arch of the nose and strongly curved upper lips. And I like nice buts, but hey, who doesn't.

"I don't look like that, and I don't desire to look like that."
- Kate Winslet on her airbrushed photo shoot for the British GQ

12.01.2012

2012-01-12T13:25:00.004-05:00

2012, and still no flying cars. Instead of fireworks, we had a laser light show here in Alexandria. This year started with a series of physical therapy sessions since I injured my shoulder and it's still quite painful. Next week I'll also start ballet and modern dance, and I'm equally horrified and exited. I haven't usually made any new years resolutions, but this year I think I will. I'll try to keep up with the school work, and find a good balance without exhausting myself. I'll get back on pointe by next fall, and hopefully gain some strength in my upper body and abs. Not sure yet how to achieve all that, but one can try. I'm also starting human anatomy classes, that should be interesting. And since my bff is trying to find her way to visit me this spring too, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a fun and exiting spring 2012.

Happy Yuletide & Hyvää Joulua

2011-12-24T16:05:00.007-05:00

So it is Christmas. Sir Walter Tree is all gussied up in lights and silver tinsel, Santa has left to his annual journey and closets are filled with wrapped packages, waiting for the elves to fill the stockings with them when the night falls. I light a candle for my grandfather, my family and friends in Finland, and for everyone who can't have a Christmas. Later tonight we'll eat tortillas - a little tradition of my own. Though I couldn't follow the declaration of Christmas peace from here, I feel it.
Happy and Calm Yuletide and Hyvää ja Rauhallista Joulua kaikille!

1/10 Countdown B-Day Special

2011-12-19T14:24:00.003-05:00

Sunday was my birthday, and I got to spend it in the best possible company. Not only with my boyfriend, but with six wonderful dolphins from the National Aquarium in Baltimore. I got to play with Nani and Bayley, pet them and have a ton of fun getting splashed and soaked. So here is the last countdown number, one photo of me and Nani. The messy ponytail, that's moi.

Tinsel and Tissues

2011-11-30T02:06:00.004-05:00

Still alive, ill and alive. The flu shot I took earlier this fall is no help with any Hello-I'm-No-Flu-but-I'll-Still-Mess-Up-Your-Health-Viruses. Whatever it is, it's also keeping me on the verge of hypoglycemia all the time, not particularly cool as you can imagine.

Thanksgiving is now in various containers in our fridge, the everlasting turkey and candied sweet potatoes. Finally, I'm allowed to plan on Christmas. Since most of my old stuff was left in Finland, and I don't like the ornaments to be too cookie-cutter and dull, I'm always on the lookout for unique ornaments that would carry some meaning to me. I have a habit of buying ornaments from where ever I visit, so on Christmas I can see my favorite memories hanging from the tree. The silver castle from Disneyland Paris, a glass sea shell from the National Aquarium, Christmas camel from Mount Vernon. Recently I got a set of small Nutcracker figurines, and a set of colorful cupcakes. I'm still missing the tree topper, and the tinsel. It is still confusingly warm here, +/- 20 Celsius degrees, and naturally, no snow. Aside from the mysterious non-flu virus, I'm quite occupied by all the school work. Next semester will be ever more challenging, can't say that I'd looking forward for it. I wish that for Christmas, I'd at least get a couple A's.

2/10 Countdown

2011-11-29T08:31:00.005-05:00

Two songs. I decided to go both strange and seasonal.
1. Hank - Phineas Gage: A Song
2. Bing Crosby & David Bowie - The Little Drummer Boy / Peace On Earth

3/10 Countdown

2011-11-12T20:19:00.001-05:00

Three films.

1. The Company. My favorite dance flick.

2. Virgin Suicides, and other movies by Sofia Coppola.

3. Oceans. Simply beautiful.

Gosh, that was fast.

4/10 Countdown

2011-11-07T04:30:00.000-05:00

Getting closer to the grand finale. I actually had to think of this quite long, I could have easily given a longer list. Here it goes, four books.

1. Spleen de Paris - Charles Baudelaire. My favorite poems by my favorite poet. Poems hot enough to turn on the coldest nun in the north pole.

2. Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood. Another favorite author, and my favorite era. Atwood is a very versatile writer, it was a hard choice.

3. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald. Read it again recently and recommend it to everyone, it's a great classic indeed.

4. Letters from My Windmill - Alphonse Daudet. Easy comfort reading, short stories for any occasion. I always reach for this one during the summer.

Hemingway Night

2011-11-03T05:45:00.000-04:00

I have one of these nights. These nights when I'd like to quote Hemingway or Fitzgerald, drink daiquiris or at least hot chocolate with liqueur. Listen hot jazz too loud, and sing along to Edith Piaf. Silk kimonos with long fringes are made for nights like this, wide legged pajama pants, mens shirts. If I'd have my will on a night like this, I'd end up joining the foreign legion (though they don't take women), or I'd become a nun. I miss my friends. Those insane fellows with a since of style from a different century, t-strap shoes, mens sock garters. Panama hats, dreams of safaris and trunks with enviable wardrobes. Bellhops, bathtubs, tennis skirts. Adoring first world war pilots, planes, adventure at any cost.

Instead I sit here, sipping my pink champagne, listening to Cole Porter and being so darn politically correct it feels like I'm wearing a girdle under my skin. I guess I'm still missing my role in all of this. Should wake up in couple of hours. Think I'll sleep in the afternoon.

5/10 Countdown

2011-11-02T23:50:00.000-04:00

Halfway there! I promise to write an actual post next time, within a week. Now, no5. Five foods, nom.

1. Seafood pad thai, salmon, crabs, shrimps. Seafood.

2. Cheesecake. Cheesecake diet, now that would be nice.

3. Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries. Berries.

4. Hot chocolate. If it's thick enough it counts as food.

5. Smoothies, daiquiris and other frozen drinks.

6/10 Countdown

2011-11-01T17:54:00.002-04:00

This one is easy. Six places.

1. Home, by the pool. Water is my element.

2. Paris, Montmartre. Love the pale spring light.

3. Venice, markets early in the morning, churches.

4. Beaches, sand between toes, the salty smell of the ocean.

5. New York, a nice Italian restaurant, Christmas time.

6. Anywhere out of the world! Gotta keep moving!

7/10 Countdown

2011-10-25T16:34:00.002-04:00

Seven wants. Only seven? Aww...
1. BA in Arts. Eventually.
2. A ring-a-ding-ding. A no, I don't mean by the phone.
3. A talented and kind dentist. I'd need one.
4. A sweater from from Vineyard Vines.
5. Ballet classes for forever. They're so pricy.
6. A four-poster bed.
7. Endless amounts of forgiveness.

8/10 Countdown

2011-10-21T18:19:00.001-04:00

This time it is Eight Fears. Ooo...

1. Fear of clinically insane. Yes, I'm scared of crazy folk.

2. Fear of insects. They're small and icky, enough said.

3. Fear of fat. This one literally keeps me moving.

4. Fear of losing my legs. I would not want to live without 'em.

5. Fear of anything you could find in a horror movie, general grossness.

6. Fear of the dark. Noo, I'm not five... Mainly in unfamiliar places.

7. Fear of fishes when swimming in a lake.

8. Fear of growing up and becoming one of Them.

9/10 Countdown

2011-10-19T15:15:00.000-04:00

Time for the 9. Nine loves:
1. My boyfriend. The World's Best Boyfriend.
2. My mom. The Supermom.
3. My pup, Milou. I miss her so bad!
4. My friends, who I also miss, and who are, with all my love, insane.
5. Cheesecake and champagne. Two things I'm trying to always have.
6. Dance, all forms. "Dance first. Think Later. It's the natural order."
7. Traveling. Paris, Venice, wherever, "Anywhere Out of the World.".
8. Coconut and vanilla ice cream. Also: Cold Stone.
9. Zoos, Aquariums, Planetariums, Museums.

10/10 Countdown

2011-10-15T17:33:00.002-04:00

I got challenged to a 10 Days blogging quest. And since I like writing lists, here it goes.

Ten secrets:

1. I watch Gossip Girl. Yes, I'm very ashamed.

2. I haven't gone to dance classes on weekly bases in couple of months. Moving and school have taken all of my time and money. My only form of exercise has been downstairs gym and the elliptical.

3. I dislike the use of slang and heavy dialect in speech.

4. I'm very germ-conscious so I carry a hand sanitizer in my purse.

5. Even though I've settled down fairly well, I do miss my friends.

6. I don't like children. At least not at a close distance.

7. I have beauty secrets so secret, that I can't even mention them here.

8. I had to withdraw from a course cause it caused me stress to the level of nightmares. I've never had to withdraw from a course before.

9. I can't watch horror movies, they also cause me horrid nightmares.

10. I'm very competitive, and if given the opportunity, I cheat at card and board games. That's why I always win!

Waiting for The Great Pumpkin

2011-10-12T02:13:00.000-04:00

I'm home alone. I don't like being home alone. And I got a cold. Not anymore actually, but I had a cold. The world claims that it's still warm outside, over 20°C. Because of this, the heating hasn't been turned on, and it actually might be colder indoors than what it is outdoors. Thanks to Columbus Day I had a day off from school on Monday (Thank you Columbus, you weren't the first one here, it wasn't the India, but now we got a holiday). I'm manically shopping for candles and making holiday plans. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. I like holidays, the stranger the better. There's a day for Eric the Red too, I think it's only fair since Columbus got a day for himself too. I'll also get to go to a Pumpkin Patch to pick up a pumpkin, and carve it.

I can't wait till the rest of the world agrees with my judgement about the weather (it's October = it's cold) so that I can wear my Milton booties (the red ones in the picture). Everything else is shiny and new. The cardigan - with a monogram naturally - and the skirt are from Lands' End and the McKlein briefcase fits all of my schoolbooks without looking like I'm a Catholic girl school runaway - the risk when wearing plaid skirts with heels.

In the end of the month there would actually be couple of black tie events that I'd love to go to. But I'm missing a fairy godmother, and therefore missing a dress and a tux for my bf. I also got this urge to do something useful, and I ended up signing up as Red Cross volunteer. I can't donate blood here in the US, but at least I can serve cookies for those who can. Go cookies! On my way of becoming the perfect Betty Crocker housewife, I also bought some cookie dough mix. Maybe I should learn to mix my own Godmother, as a consolation. Oh woe October.

Things They Say Part 1

2011-09-30T01:44:00.001-04:00

I've started to collect comments I've received from people since I've arrived to the US. Most of them come from complete strangers, and therefore I find them quite amusing. Never in Finland did I hear such open compliments or random comments in the metro on in an elevator. Go US! Give me more, these totally made my day!

"You have a future in television and in the movies. You have that look, you're beautiful."

- lawyer looking man in suit at Union Station

"Are you a runner? No? Oh.... *long silence* You look so slender."

- a nice old man in an elevator

"Are you French? You're not? Reeeeallly?"

- a classmate at English Composition

"I love your shoes/bag!"

- a surprisingly huge amount of women in public transportation

"You've lost weight!"

- a familiar lady at the grocery store

"*boyfriends name* likes Phish Food too? He likes Chocolate and Peanutbutter, he always buys Chocolate and Peanutbutter!"

- the same lady, who was very doubtful about my choice of ice cream

"You are so resourceful!"

- a classmate. I guoted him for the rest of the day. I'm so resourceful!

"You're only living with one person? There lives only two people in the apartment?"

- a classmate after hearing that I live with my boyfriend. I wonder how many people he lives with... 20?

Professor F.

2011-09-30T01:18:00.001-04:00

Dear blog and its readers.

I have four teachers, two of them are fairly encouraging, charismatic speakers who well deserve their paychecks. Two of them however, I wish would simply disappear, or be subjected to a late abortion.

Bad teacher no1 always comes to his classes late. Half of the time the teaching is done by a tutor, who's English language skills are worse than mine. Then again, at least he can teach, since the teacher, can't. He jumps forwards in topics without any warning, doesn't inform the students about the page he's at, doesn't take time to explain anything and doesn't listen. When he gives homework, he does it when half of the class has already left the classroom. He also has dirty hands. He came to me and leaned on my notebook, leaving a dirty hand print on an otherwise clean page. Since he doesn't show any interest in actually teaching me anything, I've decided to ignore him as much as I could. Luckily I have a tutor, but it feels silly to waste time on the classes when I have to do all the learning outside the classes.

Bad teacher no2 is not mentally fit to work as a professor. She doesn't believe in science, which makes it impossible to reason with her. She likes to analyze her students in the most inappropriate ways, to make assumptions and to make people cry. I've understood that she has had a drug and alcohol problems, and after the 12 step program and some kind of spiritual enlightenment, someone now thought her to be fit to teach. Boy were they wrong! I wish she'd fall back to the bottle. I hope that at least the exams would follow the syllabus and the book and not her personal ideas. Souls and spirits aren't science, and neither they are the reason I am taking this course. I simply can't deal with crazy.

Please, if you have any ideas in how to work the American school system, and what to do with utterly incompetent professors, give me a hint. I'm so grateful of those two good teacher at the moment. Outside the topic: if you can recommend a dance school in DC area that would be metro accessible, please leave a comment!

Studious in DC

2011-09-27T14:02:00.000-04:00

Ever since I arrived to DC, I've done nothing but gone to school, school, and more school. And honestly, I don't like it that much. Since I started the semester a couple weeks late, there was lots of catching up to do. The studies in US seem quite hectic, and the classes and people are noisier than what I'm used to. Out of the four professors I have, two are excellent teachers and very charismatic speakers, and the other two... I think it's ethically wrong that they are getting paid for what they do/ attempt to do/ don't do. Last night, one class was cancelled because of the Redskins vs. Cowboys game - that was new, and fairly amusing. I was strongly encouraged to go and see a game, as a part of getting to know the American culture, and I guess I should, eventually.

I've learned to use the Metro system, and I do like the architecture and style of Washington DC. Reminds of Paris in a way, thanks to Monsieur L'Enfant. I also had to get a new phone, since my dear Nokia won't work here. On Thursday I'll go to a ballet class, and hopefully also on Saturday - if I find the energy for it. The last class I have ends at 8:20pm, and it takes an hour to get home, so the little free time I've had has mainly gone to sleeping. Good things about finally being here: I get to be with my boyfriend, he's awesome. This late in September it is still very warm, +27 Celsius degrees today. If I can hang on to the studies for couple of years, I'll get a degree. The stores have plenty of sugar free candy and low carb products that I much appreciate. And Peppermint Patty milkshakes.

I do miss my doggie, and my friends. In the picture below, the statues at the Union Station that I pass by every day on my way to school.

Hello World

2011-09-11T18:08:00.001-04:00

I'm finally here. I arrived to DC on 9th, and I'm tomorrow I'll bravely go to the campus. I say bravely, because I'm pretty nervous. What does one wear to school when it's 28°C ? The weather is still very summery, hot and humid. My hair went all frizzy in a matter of seconds when I stepped outside. What else can I say. The first days will be exhausting, I know to expect that. There's still a ton of stuff to do. In the end, I'm just so, so happy to be back home again.

Hots for Yoga

2011-05-14T11:48:00.006-04:00

Today I had the opportunity to try hot yoga at Esport Fitness Helsinki, and wasn't that a ton of fun. Sweaty and absolutely awesome. I've already made room in my calender to take some classes while I'm in Helsinki. I'll be here for a month now, going to lectures every day from nine to five. I know, not the most exiting way to spend your days, but useful no doubt. At least I can balance the hard work with some hot play. Yoga. Hot yoga.
I also read a review on Life Detox pedicure/foot bath, and I'm determined to try it. Infrared light and saltwater. Sounds so odd, but works wonders for your metabolism I'm told. More about that later.

Heavenly Nutty

2011-05-11T16:26:00.000-04:00

Today was such a nice day. I went to an art museum, had lunch all by myself, and ate some yummy donuts for dessert. The weather was mild and sunny, I had time, very nice indeed. I've found that my liking of coconuts fills some tiny, yet necessary social need. Whether in a box of cookies or chocolates, I fill the purpose of those often so unwanted coconut treats. The very smell of coconuts means summer for me. So it's official now: it's summer. I bought a coconut body scrub and a white chocolate face mask, ate a coconut and white chocolate donuts and walked for hours in the sunshine. I love lazy days like this.

So this time rather than thinking practically, I made a the look to fit my mood. Heavenly and light. With a pair of my favorite earrings, vanilla lip gloss and ballerina pink flats. The belt is actually from the men's department, and the size S is still a little long for me, but it looked so good I had to have it. I had tried to find a good belt for months before finding this one. I'm a fairly picky shopper, I try to shop only when I absolutely need something.

Shirt, pants and belt from H&M
Pink flats from Nine West
Lip Gloss in Vanilla Cream from Maybelline
Coconut Body Scrub from The Body Shop
Pearl Earrings from a local jewelry shop

Lost in Translation

2011-04-27T14:09:00.006-04:00

I finally have my TOEFL (The Test of English as a Foreign Language) score. I must admit, it wasn't my peak performance, I was nervous and slow. The maximum amount of points is 120, and my score was 105, so it wasn't miserably bad either. So now on, every typo and misused idiom can be blamed on those missing 15 points. Since I got it in my day rhythm to listen to vocabulary tapes while stretching, I've now changed the English vocabulary tapes to learning French with Michel Thomas. Although he's not quite as sympathetic as the vocabulary tape guy, he's quite effective. Tout à fait.

Later this week I'll have to send forward some papers, and make a battle-your-nerves plan for the next month. Need to stay busy. The post office delayed my "express mail" for more than two weeks and I dearly hope they won't do it again. The next two months with determine my next two years, so I've been feeling a bit edgy. Today I started doing yoga. And I don't even like yoga. Patience... is not a virtue of mine.

Time on my hands

2011-04-24T14:41:00.008-04:00

I have to admit that writing blog posts at this pace won't be become a habit. At the moment I just happen to have quite some time on my hands. Talking about hands, this is a nail post. Mine grow with astonishing speed, and because of dancing, I try to keep them neat and not too long. My mother says that it's because of calcium - I've always drank plenty of milk. I might have gotten a manicure once in my life, and I've never had the courage to go to a pedicure (dancers toes can be a scary sight). Natural colored nails are easy to upkeep, and won't look too flashy even on a ballet class.

I like Lumene's Pearly Bunny, soft and sheer barely there pink. O.P.I. Room Service is quite similar, lilac shade. Deborah Lippmann's Diamonds and Pearls is a perfect beige nude, very neutral yet sophisticated - if I'd have to pick only one, this would be it. If you prefer a more creamy appearance, Essie's classic, Ballet Slippers is for you. I also use a clear polish under, and over the colored one. If layers of polish make you feel claustrophobic, try a nail whitener, or the nail buffer that polishes your own nails clear and shiny. I always carry Nail Magic file/buffer in my bag, it can be a life (and tights) saver. Next thing on my to-try list is Konad's strawberry scented nail polish remover - it sounds too sweet to miss.