No1stories

It's a pain ... what's that right now?

2019-05-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's a pain ... what's that right now?

No one can easily forget the 2013 Rajaramani movie. Picture hit Arya, Nayantara, Jai, Nasriya is the movie directed by Adly. At the first film of the film, Adli has broken the identity of Shankar's assistant Adli. Although many criticized Rajarani as a duplicate of the movie maunaragam in the minds of the Tamil people, there were a lot of difference between the two. The film's embroidery was only slightly agreeable.

Adli has shown the love of Rajarani in the movie. There are scenarios on two different angles about the life after the failure of love. There will be a lot of sensational views. In particular, Nayantara will tell Aryan that Jai is still alive. Then there will be a conversation between Arya and Jai. Then the film will end as Nayantara and Arya join together.

In a conversation between Arya and Jaai, Jai is a passionate voice for Arya about Nayantara's loss. This text is tied to that verse. Here is the verse,

"My daddy sent me to the village of Adyci, and I was afraid. Wow, let's go, let's wait, all the time. But the love of all the lovers behind is a good life, "Jai is talking about as if he is not disappointed.

"I agree, it's Missing. It's a pain. What do you do now? She can not forget me. That's why I drank, my friend told me to trap. "

This verse. It affected me so much. Some of my friends have not fallen in love. So, I have seen the victims. I felt their pain through their words. The dialog in Rajarani film above has matched my friends. Although my friends never lost their love, they are not ready to forget the lover. Both men and women behaved the same way. (Here the Valentine applies to both sexes, lover and lover)

As soon as they begin to love, they begin to think that their lover is the world. It changes the significance of everything accordingly. Love makes someone feel lucky in the world. Love songs are just like the one who wrote the same for himself and his assistant. Without knowing the time, it gives the feeling of floating in the teaching. No time is spent except for his lover, even if you have time to do it, you will not leave.

I love sharing my college friend's love life here. He is the one who should raise her every morning. When she wakes up in the morning she must first hear her voice. The last one should hear his voice before dinner is too late. When will he have to bathe, what jobs to do, what to wear to the college, and what he should wear in the underwear and discuss her with her wishes. His life was around her. Her life was around him. He does not talk about her. They will fight terribly, but in the next few minutes, nothing will happen. In this day I will be angry with you.

The illusion of love in the life of my friendless, unfriendly, and meaningless friend made me astounded. Why they fell in love and why they separated is their personal decision. But love gave him inspiration to marry her, to go for a good job, to get the consent of the two families and to reach a high level of society.

She is not bored. If his family refused to permit his love, he was planning to get him out of the family and get out of it. She was confident that anyway she would go to work and stand up to her own, even if she could prevent him. The college ended with the same feeling. But the fate played. Their love did not come. Both are separated, so friends are sad for everyone. There may be a mistake both. The two can not be wrong. Who can not be blamed? When they are part of their choice, who can do what. But then I can not forget my friend's difficulties anyway.

His life began to change. Being in charge, he became irresponsible. Allocated everyone. Especially, he left college friends allocated. I do not want to meet anyone. He left all social networks like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram. At one point, he threw the cell phone too. None of the friends could contact him.

He left the job. I'm looking for new job

One day, his father came to Chennai to meet me. Asked for a help. He said everything above and asked for help to rebuild his son. When he said he tried to commit suicide twice, I broke down and started crying. At present, he is being treated with a mental health doctor and he does not seem to find great improvement.

The next day I went to town and brought my friend to Chennai. I thought I was talking to him. After two weeks of vacation in the office, I decided to spend time with him. Only then I started to understand.

He did not like him. He realized how his love is as a nuclear weapon, as well as accepting love failure as a nuclear weapon. I did not speak anything old. He will tell me from time to time.

"In the presence of friends, she said that she is my life long and I'm going to marry her. I could not fulfill it. Disgrace. They ask about love, or start to say comfort. That's why I stopped at home. I'm trying to get out of it, but it's not me. If you want to forget her, only her memories circle my mind. "

"Why do we split up and refuse to recall. If I leave my judgments and look from her place, her decision is correct. I do not feel sorry for her. Even though she is an atheist, she must be fine, she must forget me soon, and pray to God as the temple of the temple that she should have a good life. I can understand everything. Now, she is not part of our lives. I have a life that says, my brain says it. But my heart still asks to come back from frustration, sadness and loneliness. "

After that, he rested quiet for a few days. Our college friend, Ellil's marriage, was going to be in Pattukottai. I got the leave too. We go to the daily tea at night.

One night, we had tea in the terrace near Mambalam railway station and were returning to our room nearby. Then he started crying. He could not convince him. The tongue has been pushed to bring him to the room. He was crying all night. As I woke up in the morning, I wiped my eyes. All day long, I did not speak to myself. He refused to eat. For two or three days, he was without food and was without food. I understood his pain. He was in love with his tears.

We went to Pattukottai for the marriage of a friend. In the wedding procession, everyone wondered seeing him playing the game. Odinon, Odinan, until the procession is over. He breathed all his troubles until it was over. He forgot Him alone. He fell unconscious on the road. I hugged him and lay down in the room. He got up and slept well. We ended the marriage and returned to Chennai again.

"The second day from Pattukottai to Chennai, I'm going to town."

"Go there, I'm going to study the MBA." He was gracious in his voice. And I was confident of my friend's talent. Before he went to town, I presented him a new mobile. Do not let that happen. " He was forced to do so. He went to town. From time to time, he will arrive to Chennai. Successfully completed the MBA. The best student of the college was certified by him. Worked in a Japanese company. He grew up gradually and became the Chief Officer of the Indian branch in three years.

I have seen many friends in love like him. They can not forget the pain they have suffered from love failure. Some people come back from love failure. Those who fail in love need to get back to it immediately. Some people get it from the family, and some get it from friends. But many people do not get that rare chance, but they do not have the mood to accept it.

Love is lost and the experience is great. Many of those who love love do not lose their lives. They start life in the same way that they are no longer lost. They work hard to forget the pain and win. No matter what is coming back and success in life, they refuse to forget their lover. The first kiss, the first sparice, the favorite song, the food, the actor, the vehicle, the town, the dreams are a lot of opportunities to remember the lover. They win over it. Everyone in love wants to live with their ex-boyfriend, especially for their ex-boyfriend to lose their difficulties.

When I met my friend recently, I asked him how she forgot her.

"I think of a wife, and then I can see her as a friend or another fellow. So I thought she was dead. She does not search for her on the internet. I disregard her related people. When I talk about her, I will leave it there. The talk about her was just like that. "

But in a broken voice, she said, "I have kept everything that matters to her. Especially her memories are still in my mind. Sometimes I think. She has learned a lot for me. She was like a gem, and she was the one who made her muddy, like a clear river. It is wrong to forget her and forget it. Even if she is my first wife, even forever. Any problem in my lifetime has something to do with her memory. I'm not angry at her. She thought I was not right. Separated. I'm just a part of this sort. "

"The question is why he has accepted the mistake and after the rectification, the question of why he refused to accept me, and I decided that I will find the answer forever.

Finally, he relaxed and said, "I agree, it's Missing. It's a pain. What do you do now? She can not forget me. "

-What is it for you?

First Night Love Quotes

2019-05-17T18:14:00.001-07:00

Combining the quotes of a couple's life that has been read since it is sweet Also helps you to understand more aspects of love

1 Life is not together for just two days. But it means living and caring for the whole life

2 There is no perfect family... Or even stop talking sometimes But in the end the family is the family .. Love will always be the same.

3 families are about love, concern, help and living for each other in good and bad times.

4 Life is not happy every day Just do not abandon each other on the day of suffering.

5 words that family No word for you or me Only our words

6 Couple's life, it has more than love.

7 for life Don't try to do everything alone.

8 The couple's life does not end at the marriage registration. Because people flirt to write down or not write down It betrayed us anyway.

9 words that a partner and a life partner may be similar But the meaning is different, the couple's life can be, but the partner is living together for the whole life.

10 The most dangerous thing of a couple's life is Expectations and refusal to understand when faced with disappointment

11 Finally, the importance of double life It's not the end of marriage. But it is happiness from the relationship To hold hands together until old together

12 lovers don't have to be together all the time. But at the time he wants, we have to stay

13 people don't know when to leave each other There is still a chance to be together. When one day must leave each other Will not regret it later

14 No one likes anyone. Everything. Loyal to each other And forgive each other's disadvantages

15 No couple doesn't fight. But it's important that no matter how we fight Are we still in love? We still want to walk together or not.

16 The word love speaks every day. Everyone can say, but being beside by expressing love until the last day of life. That is more difficult

17 we have lovers Is just the beginning of love only And how long will love Depends on caring, caring for each other

18 quarrel every day until sometimes I can't think of Without you Who will quarrel with me Fight like this

19 Give priority to things that are in front of them before they are taken away. Pay attention to the person who is beside him before no one is beside us.

20 things that are harder to love What do you do every day? Do not love each other less

21 Sore to learn that having a life is not easy.

22 important understanding of love But more important is still still in love, even on days that do not understand

23 The secret of a happy marriage is to accept the wrong when you are wrong. But keep quiet when you are right

24 Sometimes things are worse than heartbreaking. Is to fulfill the marriage And found the unrequited love of life

25 when he was not taken care of, he felt bad when he left Don't value anyone on the day that is approaching.

26 Some people in our lives do not come through to be ours. But passed so that we could pass it

27. People who really love us are not those who think that we are the best. But someone who even finds someone else better than us But he still chose us

28 Honesty is not something that people love to tell. But it is something that is in the sense and done without having to tell

29 If I were a fire for you to be water

30 than we will love each other is not easy Why do we pay attention to those who want to see us break apart?

31 Thinking of having love, having to know the word of life Thinking of adultery, having to know the word after life

32 Don't go into all of life. Be proud to be part of each other.

33 Sometimes we have to let go and walk away from suffering. In order to be happy in the way we are

34 Don't remember that we love each other from day to day. But must remember that today we still love each other or not

35 Many times we hurt ourselves for the people he loves. To hurt the hearts of those who love us as much as life

36 We can love as many people as we want to love. But we can't make that person love us as we love them

37 When love is not happy Please get out. And look back that What will we stand there for?

38 Love can happen to everyone. But how many people will walk together for the rest of their lives

39 Love is not a matter of who needs to take care of anyone. But it is about caring for each other

40, how many pairs of laundry are stable in love? And how many love To love firmly

41 On the day of boredom, remember the new love day.

42 The most sad thing in a woman's life Is to reduce self-worth only for one man

43 If only carrying the past, where will you take your hand to grab the future?

44 A good man doesn't love a good woman with everything but he loves only a woman and Love everything that is you

45 Sometimes love is easy to be "shocked" and somewhere that is easy to go and almost "do not mind".

46 Love has only 2 ways to choose, walking is to reach the destination. And walk back to the beginning

47 When do women ask you? Then tell her the truth better Because it is possible that She asked because she already knew the answer.

48 Everything has nothing to change love. Except for two people who can change it

49 Time may make us "give up love" to those who "we used to love", but the time can not make us "forget" those who "we used to love"

50 I was the one I loved, disappointed me. But I won't disappoint my loved ones.

51 Drop from someone And return to love yourself is another way of rewarding parents

52 "Pity" of some men It is no different from the cruel hope. And make stupid women Some people can't "cut off"

53 If you really matter for someone He will always have time for you. Without excuse, no lie and no breach of contract

54 When I look into your eyes Not only do I see you But I see today, tomorrow and both

Awakening problems

2016-07-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

LONDON - Al Arabiya
According to the British newspaper "Daily Mirror" has told the doctors aware of the foods that have negative effects on human sleep of those things. Doctors have ordered the items to be eaten in the night in order to sleep well.
The doctors may face serious illnesses from eating five food before going to sleep, including obesity, high blood pressure and heart attack. In addition, it is likely to impair their sleep eating immediately before bedtime.
According to the British newspaper The five foods are as follows:
1. Burger .. There is a lot of food but it is tasty and beloved for its negative impact on human sleep though. It basically does not count the health nor day nor night Eating. This creates acidity in the stomach and leads to pain and irritation during the night. The result is poor sleep eventually.
2. Most wines. The result of drinking alcohol beverages According to experts, lead to "poor sleep". I understand that many people are against the idea that alcohol is helpful to the human body into gold. Doctors say it is awakened several times during the night to drink alcohol before bedtime.
3. Dark chocolate .. that the idea is that it is more appropriate for the health of low-fat ratio in dark chocolate spread. However, it is not 100% accurate. As a result of eating before going to bed because it has a negative impact on sleep. It is found in large amounts of caffeine. According to have a little piece of dark chocolate containing 20 mg of caffeine that sharp "asprsu" is equivalent to half a cup of coffee. The chocolate variety that also leads to an increase in heart rate.
4. Spicy broth. It is a famous dish of India and Pakistan have started to be introduced in different parts of the world. This characteristic is to be full of pepper and spices. Therefore remains insomnia to sleep during the dinner the night before. A clinical study proved that in the past in Australia, eating spices and sauces male night they sleep less able than others. In addition, they also face frequent awakening.
5. Meat is meat. This applies to chicken and other types. It is already clear that the negative impact on human nature to sleep and rest at night.
Doctors mention the five meals with milk before bedtime stay away, banana, yam and eat the cherry on top. These wish to sleep at night do not set a negative effect on the poor.

A Wise Counting

2012-10-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

Emperor Akbar was in the habit of putting riddles and puzzles to his courtiers. He often asked questions which were strange and witty. It took much wisdom to answer these questions.

Once he asked a very strange question. The courtiers were dumb folded by his question.

Akbar glanced at his courtiers. As he looked, one by one the heads began to hang low in search of an answer. It was at this moment that Birbal entered the courtyard. Birbal who knew the nature of the emperor quickly grasped the situation and asked, "May I know the question so that I can try for an answer".

Akbar said, "How many crows are there in this city?"

Without even a moment's thought, Birbal replied "There are fifty thousand five hundred and eighty nine crows, my lord".

"How can you be so sure?” asked Akbar.

Birbal said, "Make you men count, My lord. If you find more crows it means some have come to visit their relatives here. If you find less number of crows it means some have gone to visit their relatives elsewhere".

Akbar was pleased very much by Birbal's wit.

MORAL : A witty answer will serve its purpose.

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched

2012-10-21T05:46:00.002-07:00

Milk-maid had been to the meadow to milk her cows. Now she was returning home with a pail of milk on her head.

She thought, "I will make cream and butter out of this milk. Then selling them, I will buy eggs. and when they hatch, I shall have a good poultry farm."

She further thought, "I shall sell some of my fowls and buy a fine dress. Seeing it on my body at the fair, all the boys will admire me. But I will turn them away just tossing my head at them."

Lost in day dreams, she forgot about the pail on her head. She tossed her head with a jerk and the pail of milk came tumbling down. it was broken and all the milk got spilt.

"Dear O dear !" she cried, "I have lost my all."

MORAL: Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.

I Live In a Sexless Marriage Loveless Life/marriage

2012-10-21T05:39:00.001-07:00

I have read enough here to now know I may not be alone. Yet, it does not make the pain of an empty LOVELESS life.

I am 51 I have NO hope of Love or happiness. I respect what many of you will reply. But, I have been unhappy for my whole life. It is only now that the urge to meet Angel of Death is so with in my thoughts that I swoon about it.

I got married for the wrong reason. I am NOT blame her. I also am NOT to blame at all either. My only crime if it is is poverty and being Glen.

I see happy couples around in love and showing it. Then, I see myself. withdrawn and alone.

I need to break free from this live. ONLY reason I live is for my daughter. But, I am losing the battle fast here.

Everyone expects so much of me. most ALL the people here where I live New Canaan, CT
USA are stuck up, rich, hypocrites Well, 90% are. This includes people who both live and or work here

Well, good night I really like this site and most of you people.

GLEN

I Remember My First Time Wedding Night

2012-10-21T05:35:00.001-07:00

I was 21 when I got married and had not done anything more than let a guy feel my chest through my shirt once. My husband and I had always assumed we would wait till marriage before we messed around. That was just how we were raised. Now, I wonder what I will teach my kids when the time comes, because sex is fun.

Anyway, we had spent the entire day in our gown and tux and were very tired. At first it was very exciting for me to get all dressed up in my sexy wedding night lingerie under my wedding dress, but after being at the wedding and reception and everythign for so long, it really did not mean much at the time. We finally headed towards the hotel around 10pm. We were riding in the limo when it finally hit me what we were going to go do. I could feel my chest swell and my nipples get hard under my corset.

When we finally got to the room, we were just so relieved it took a while to get things moving. Finally, my husband came over to me and kissed me hard on the lips. We stood in the middle of the room kissing and undressing each other as we went. When we were finally down to our undies, we climbed into the bed. It felt so good and naughty to have him touching my body that way. He massaged my chest and touched my bare butt and rubbed everywhere.

I reached between his legs to find him just as excited as I was. He was very hard and bursting out of his underwear. He stood up and pulled off his shorts and I would see my first penis up close. It was but was not what I expected. Not that I knew what to expect, but I found myself focused on it very much. I touched it with my hand lightly, then I took it in my hand. It seemed very big to me. I lightly stroked it for him. I watched his eyes roll into his head as I stroked the base with one hand and the tip with the other. It just kept growing and twitching. I could stroke the tip on my palm and he would twitch and grunt. It was kind of scarry, I did not know if he liked it or if it hurt.

He then laid me back onto the bed and laid on top of me. He started kissing me again. I could feel him between my legs as he slowly kissed my neck and worked his lips towards my chest. As he took hold of a nipple in his mouth, I was lost. I had never felt anything like it. I began breathing heavily as did he as he worked himself against me more.

As he kissed a nipple, she reached down and spread my legs wide apart. As he did, I could feel his penis very much between my legs. It was very smooth and I was very very wet. He looked down into my eyes and asked if I was ready. I was not sure, but I said yes. He reached between us and guided his penis to my opening. It felt so good as he began pressing it against me. Then I felt the tip slide inside of me. I could not breath. It was like someone had pushed all the air out of my body. It hurt so bad. I just laid there gasping as he tried to work it in and out. I was not sure if this was what was supposed to happen, but at this point it was so tight it hurt almost every stroke.

After just a few minutes of him working it into me, he started to grunt and I could feel a warm fluid flowing between my legs. He started to scream as it kept twitching inside of me. Suddenly he collapsed on top of me and rolled off onto the bed. I felt relief after he was out of me, but what I felt most was all his fluid running out of me. Was not sure what to do with all of it. We laid there for a few minutes catching our breath. As we did, I looked down at his body and was looking at his penis. It was still semi hard but was still a major focus of my attention. I had never seen one before, let alone one with his and my juice on it. I was entranced and could not help but reach down and gently stroke it. I dont know how big it really is, but I had to laugh at myself when I noticed I could put my hand at the base and he still had several inches sticking up above my hand. That was the last thing I remember before going to bed.

In the morning I would awaken early with a warm kind of slimy feeling between my legs. Then I remembered I where I was and what had happened. Suddenly my body began to crave more of what had happened. It was like a switch had turned on and it was ready for more since we were not going to get "in trouble" for it. I began rubbing his chest hair and stroking his nipples a little. It was not until I began rubbing my way down his body that he would fully awaken. He moaned as my hand grasp his penis again. I smiled a dirty little smile at him once it was good and hard. He asked what I was smiling about.

Without saying a word, it was my turn to climb onto him. I began by rubbing it up and down my butt crack making sure it was good and hard. I worked my way down from his lips to his neck and then his chest as I kissed around his body. Finally when I thought it was going to break from being bent down so far, I lifted myself over him. His penis stood strait in the air as if I had planted it. I slowly lowered myself down onto it. At first it hurt again, but I was much wetter than before, I know now that it was probably his *** that was so wet. I remember trying to work it around so that it would feel better. All the time he was moaning and grunting at my movements.

I am not sure why I did, but I decided to try a different approach. I leaned back and tried to just sit on his lap. At first it hurt really bad again and he still did not go in very far compared to how much he had. I figured he was supposed to go in further so I worked it around more and more trying to find the right spots. Suddenly, as I rolled my hips forward and sat strait up, it slammed all the way into me. I could not breath as I gasp from the pleasure filled pain. At the base, it hurt as it stretched me wide. But inside, oh, inside it was amazing. I looked down at him as I began to relax and get used to him. His eyes were rolled back into his head and his mouth was wide open. I assumed he was feeling the pleasure I was now feeling.

I started shifting my weight back and forth as his length shifted inside me. It was like a huge log was inside me, he was so hard he did not bend or yield to my body much, but he sure liked it. I worked it around more and more when suddenly I felt his hand reach up and cup my breasts. It was like lightning going through my body. I could not believe how good his hands felt. I grabbed them and squeezed them hard against my breasts. In return he squeezed harder and harder. I could not stand it any more and reached around and ripped my corset off so he could have whatever he wanted.

After I released my body from my corset he began massaging me everywhere. I could not get enough. I started shifting my weight forward and back. Faster and faster I wanted him in and out of me. I then started bouncing up and down on him. I would take him all the way out to where just the tip was in, then just pounce back down shoving it all back into me. It was sweet pleasure and pain every time. This went on for several minutes before he grabbed hold of my chest tightly as I bounced. I looked down at him and he staired up at me as his eyes go huge and his mouth opened. I continued as a slow groan and several grunts began to come from his mouth. This transformed into screams as I felt his penis throb inside of me and felt his hot load gushing against my insides.

He filled me with shot after shot for several minutes. Even after I had stopped and laid on his chest I could feel his semi hard twitching inside my body. Noticing what time it was and the fact that we had only two hours to get cleaned up and to the airport, we took a nice hot smooth shower together and got dressed.

I dont know what I expected, but I was a bit surprised as to how much it hurt. It took nearly two months for me to get to where having sex with him did not hurt my muscles when we were done. Now its nothing. I also did not expect the gooy feeling that his juice had when he was done. It has also taken me a while to get used to that. I now, quite enjoy the feeling, but that is another experience I suspect.

I hope you enjoyed. It has taken me a long time to put this all down. If you like, please let me know. If you do not, please be nice.

Marriage Sex: The Truth About Sex After Marriage

2012-10-21T05:25:00.001-07:00

In the newly-released movie “American Reunion,” the latest installment of the “American Pie” series, one of the major plotlines revolves around Alyson Hannigan’s character, Michelle, who has transformed over the past decade from a sexually adventurous coed -- remember that “one time at band camp”? -- into an overworked mom who’s too exhausted to sleep with her husband, former pie-humper Jim, played by Jason Biggs.

The film is just the latest illustration of the by-now-clichéd scenario: man and woman get married, man and woman start losing interest in getting busy every night and, soon enough, man and woman’s formerly hot sex life is as lively as a deflated balloon.
While there is some truth to the cliché -- and the seemingly endless wisecracks born out of it -- it doesn't tell the whole story. What's more, it trivializes the very real stresses that couples may experience as their sex lives ebb. So what's really going on? Well, like everything, it's complicated.
To look at the statistics about marriage and sex, you wouldn’t even know that there was an issue to begin with. “Studies have found that married people have more sex than single people, and they also have more varied sex,” says sexual health expert and best-selling author Dr. Laura Berman, who hosts “In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman” on OWN. ”Oral sex is also more common among married people.”
One of the most comprehensive studies on the subject, which was released in 2010 by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, confirmed this, compiling statistics on sexual attitudes and habits of 5,865 people between ages 14 and 94. An average of 61 percent of singles reported that they hadn’t had sex within the past year, compared with 18 percent of married people. Looking specifically at those between the ages of 25 and 59, 25 percent of married people reported that they were still having sex two to three times per week versus less than five percent of singles.

Yet, while Indiana University’s data is often cited as evidence that married sex can be hot – way hotter than single, anonymous, no-strings-attached sex, thankyouverymuch -- it doesn’t really reflect the shift that individual married couples notice in their sex lives as the years pass, nor the anxiety that this change can trigger.

Unfortunately, there isn’t conclusive statistical data comparing the frequency of couples’ sex while they’re dating to the frequency of their sex as a married couple. However, it doesn’t take a scientist to understand that, as time passes, their sex lives will take a hit.
It’s human nature to crave novelty, as great thinkers as far back as Pliny the Elder have noted -- it’s what makes new couples want to rip the buttons off each others’ shirts and engage in lingerie-sparked romps until the wee hours of the morning. But eventually, having access to the same naked body night after night is bound to erode its novelty. “Tonight’s the night” becomes “not tonight” -- after all, there’s always tomorrow (and the next night... and the next night... and… okay, you get it).

If your relationship started off hotter, heavier and sweatier than a Florida summer, this sexual shift can be disheartening -- even a little scary -- as you start comparing your married sex life to the one you had early on in your relationship (or to the assumed steamy sex lives of your fellow wedded friends).

This is where the complications about married sex begin: When you start worrying about not having sex -- and what that might mean about you, your spouse and your spouse’s attraction toward you.

Sure, plenty of relationship advice books declare that anyone can reignite the spark in their marriage, with a whole spectrum of tips from recreating the courtship mood through role-play to scheduling mandatory date nights. However, it’s impossible to replicate the passionate, falling-crazy-in-love phase of a relationship. What most of these books won’t tell you is that that’s okay. So what if some nights you’d prefer binging on Chinese food and watching “The Biggest Loser” to ripping off each other’s clothes? Isn’t that what marriage is about -- being forever bound to someone who will love you even when the chow mein you just inhaled saddled you with a massive food baby?
While a couple’s sluggish sex life can create dramatic tension for a movie plotline, in real life the pressure that couples put on themselves to reenact the early days of their love affair can cause more issues than their lack of sex.
“A big problem in marriage is that one or both people start thinking something is wrong with them because they're not having sex as much as they think they should. When you start comparing your sex life to what you think it ‘should be’ and conclude that you fall short -- well, that’s a problem,” says psychologist Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of "Marriage Rules." "Often, lack of sex doesn't mean anything else is wrong in your relationship. Sexuality is vulnerable and often has a life of its own apart from how your marriage is doing.” (Lerner’s perspective is particularly timely as Lifetime debuts its new show, “7 Days of Sex,” later this month, in which real-life couples are challenged to have sex for one week straight with the hope of “saving their marriage.”)
This is not to say that couples should resign themselves to sexless unions. The foolproof solution for couples wanting to have more sex is simple: have more sex. Experts agree that the more you do it, the more you want to do it, which is far more encouraging than the oft-quoted axiom, “if you don’t use it, you lose it.”

Lerner even suggests that couples go about getting it on even when they’re not in the mood. “If you wait to have sex until one or both of you genuinely feel desire, you'll wait too long,” she says. “In marriage there is often at least one person in the couple who won't feel a natural desire to initiate sex. Push yourself to get started even if you're just doing it for your partner's pleasure.”

As sterile as this advice might sound, the just-as-unsexy truth is, “For all the safety and security that marriage can bring it’s not easy to have ‘good sex’ with the person you live with year in and year out,” Lerner says.
Adds Berman: “You can’t expect wild sex to happen on a regular Tuesday night unless you put it in a little effort. If you want more romance, then be more romantic. If you want more sex, then initiate sex more often.” Basically, put down the take-out, turn off the TV and bring sexy back already.

Yet, while the experts’ solution to having more sex is straightforward, how individual married couples relate to their lives can remain emotionally complex. In marriage, spouses exclusively give sexual pleasure to each other, therefore whether or not they have it can be closely connected to how they think they measure up as partners. It doesn’t help that sexual desire can be a tricky fire to ignite, as it often requires harmony from heart, head and, well, loins.
At the very least, couples can try to stop engaging in the most libido-crushing activity of all, which would be to dwell on -- and beat themselves up over -- all the sex that they’re not having. Leave that to the single people.

The loser who never gave up!

2012-10-09T23:01:00.000-07:00

When he was a little boy his uncle called him “Sparky”, after a comic-strip horse named Spark Plug. School was all but impossible for Sparky.
He failed every subject in the eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero. He also flunked Latin, algebra and English. And his record in sports wasn’t any better. Though he did manage to make the school’s golf team, he promptly lost the only important match of the season. Oh, there was a consolation match; he lost that too.
Throughout his youth, Sparky was awkward socially. It wasn’t that the other students disliked him; it’s just that no one really cared all that much. In fact, Sparky was astonished if a classmate ever said hello to him outside of school hours. There’s no way to tell how he might have done at dating. He never once asked a girl out in high school. He was too afraid of being turned down… or perhaps laughed at. Sparky was a loser. He, his classmates… everyone knew it. So he learned to live with it. He made up his mind early that if things were meant to work out, they would. Otherwise he would content himself with what appeared to be his inevitable mediocrity.
One thing WAS important to Sparky, however — drawing. He was proud of his artwork. No one else appreciated it. But that didn’t seem to matter to him. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the the yearbook. The editors rejected the concept. Despite this brush-off, Sparky was convinced of his ability. He even decided to become an artist.
So, after completing high school, Sparky wrote Walt Disney Studios. They asked for samples of his artwork. Despite careful preparation, it too was rejected. One more confirmation that he was a loser.
But Sparky still didn’t give up. Instead, he decided to tell his own life’s story in cartoons. The main character would be a little boy who symbolized the perpetual loser and chronic underachiever. You know him well. Because Sparky’s cartoon character went on to become a cultural phenomenon of sorts. People readily identified with this “lovable loser.” He reminded people of the painful and embarrassing moments from their own past, of their pain and their shared humanity. The character soon became famous worldwide: “Charlie Brown.” And Sparky, the boy whose many failures never kept him from trying, whose work was rejected again and again,… is the highly successful cartoonist Charles Schultz. His cartoon strip, “Peanuts,” continues to inspire books, T-shirts and Christmas specials, reminding us, as someone once commented, that life somehow finds a way for all of us, even the losers.
Sparky’s story reminds us of a very important principle in life. We all face difficulty and discouragement from time to time. We also have a choice in how we handle it. If we’re persistent, if we hold fast to our faith, if we continue to develop the unique talents God has given us, who knows what can happen? We may end up with an insight and an ability to inspire that comes only through hardship. In the end, there are no “losers” with God. Some winners just take longer to develop!

By CAPT J. David Atwater, CHC, USN

About Charles Schulz’s cartoon:

The Peanuts Cartoon

Peanuts is a syndicated daily and Sunday American comic strip written and illustrated by Charles M. Schulz, which ran from October 2, 1950, to February 13, 2000, continuing in reruns afterward.
The strip is the most popular and influential in the history of the comic strip, with 17,897 strips published in all, making it “arguably the longest story ever told by one human being”, according to Robert Thompson of Syracuse University. At its peak, Peanuts ran in over 2,600 newspapers, with a readership of 355 million in 75 countries, and was translated into 21 languages.

More reading:

A heart melt real story!

2012-10-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

In the image above is Shila Ghosh, an 83-year-old woman who lives in Pali in West Bengal, a state in the eastern region of India and is the nation’s fourth-most populous.
Her only son had heart ailment and passed away a few months ago. To make ends meet, Shila now works. Every evening, Shila comes from Pali to Kolkata to sell chips.
When asked if she has a problem in travelling, she weakly smiled and said: “No, the bus gets me here and my health is not that bad”.
Circumstances could have easily forced her to beg but her dignity and respect is everything for her, she is determined to work until the end of her life rather than to beg on the streets.

Story courtesy of Sufia Khatoon,
A college student in Kolkata

When we go on complaining, let us remember her….. she chose to solve her problems on her own for as they say God helps them those who help themselves.
Don’t worry, Shila is being helped. Although she refuses donations and prefers to make her own living, many people found ways to help without making her feel dependent on anyone i.e. purchase more chips from her… some are also helping her to build a kiosk.

The Elephant Rope

2012-10-09T22:12:00.001-07:00

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?
Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

Lessons from 9/11, the annoying little things:

2012-10-09T22:10:00.001-07:00

As you might know, the head of a major company survived the tragedy of “9/11” in New York because his son started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off in time.
One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.
One of them missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.
One’s car wouldn’t start.
One went back to answer the telephone.
One had a child that dawdled and didn’t get ready as soon as he should have.
One couldn’t get a taxi.
The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic…
– miss an elevator…
– turn back to answer a ringing telephone…
– all the little things that annoy me…
– I think to myself…
this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.
The next time your morning seems to be going wrong,
– the children are slow getting dressed,
– you can’t seem to find the car keys,
– you hit every traffic light…
– don’t get mad or frustrated;
God is at work watching over you.
May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things – and may you remember and appreciate their possible purpose.

Give time to our family

2012-10-09T21:23:00.001-07:00

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

Live and Work

2012-10-09T15:22:00.002-07:00

Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.
Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.
The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.
Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.
However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.
Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.
Father’s hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.
As expected, Father’s hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.
Father did not wake up the next day.

The important things in life

2012-10-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”
“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”