And then people wonder why Indian kids are either OCD overachievers or lack self-confidence and underperform.

I’ve been in Washington D.C. for several days now thoroughly detesting the humid weather in this swampy city while checking out housing.

It was a daunting task — I’ve no official credit history even though I’ve never defaulted on a payment. I’ve no record of employment even though I am an entrepreneur with a limited liability company to my name. Getting an apartment on my name would have been next to impossible even though I could pay an advance of 6-months in rent. The other option was room-shares and I had nailed down several I needed to check out. Luckily (or unluckily), the housing counselor assigned me to on-campus housing, which had been unavailable prior to coming to D.C.

I jumped at the chance to live on campus although now I think about it, law school will feel all too much like high school or being a “freshman” in college.I’m not sure I necessarily want that “experience” but it’s fun to slip into another role and place where practically no one recognizes you. It’s a chance to re-invent myself and figure out what I really want outside the pressures of family drama and “movement-building.”

There’s no need to act like a martyr, step on the sacrificial pyre, and give myself stress about anything that does not directly concern my life.

Nearing the first week of DC living, I can say:

• The French bistros and urban hipster places feel equally comfortable though we certainly need way more ethnic food.
• I don’t particular know how I feel about the Foggy Bottom area where I’m residing but I do love the quaint Eastern Market, U-street, the gay-borhoods and Columbia Heights.
• DC is still a particularly soul-less city for me with way too many kool-aid drinkers. I’m a critical thinker and deconstructionist. It’s like the worst fit for me, intellectually and politically. We know I’d rather be at UCLA if I could get the benefits of their David Epstein public interest program, but lets not start on that now.
• The monsoon type rains are fantastic in the summer (and deserve a completely separate blog post)

Today I went shopping at the GW bookstore and bought myself some gear. I’m a GW Colonial working on my second graduate degree this Fall. It’s like living an alternative reality. But I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.

Go Colonials!

I reach out fondly,
only to jerk my hand away.

They say it’s untouched by civilization,
They say it provides jobs,
They swear to carbon-free emissions,
Then why does my body break down in sobs?

Water that leaves my people dehydrated and dead,
Water that kills,
Water that props up an illegal military regime,
Who knew it could have so much power?

Your colonial thirst for a taste of my paradise,
Highly dense and hyper-sexualized,
Life reduced to an exotic merchandise,
The blood of my people actualized.

This plastic bottle is all I have left of a place I’ll never see
With some half-forgotten memories of a country that doesn’t remember me

Far away from any colonized setting, glittering and shimmering, sitting on a river of lights next to Lake Michigan, with brand name outlets, world-renowned tourist spots, historical architectural designs, the buzzing energy of a lively place that never rests, this is Chicago, as urbane and metropolitan as it gets in the United States. At first glance, the city does not resonate with any pain, tragedy, or buried untold stories; it seems like a great vacation spot and escape from my own traumatic life. The city, half-imagined, returns to me each night.

Caught in a snow blizzard, I hurry past someone carrying a sign that read “I am just homeless and hungry. God gives to those that give to others.” Almost instantly, blurred images of a distant past flash through my mind. Homelessness is a part and parcel of every city and suddenly, I am not away from home, on any sort of vacation. I freeze, unable to escape my reality. This is not history yet, it is memory—intimate, painful, joyful, personal and nostalgic. Jolted out of my consumerist shopping spree, I realize with strange awe that tragedy, violence, a sense of belonging are not stuck in geographical space; they come with us in our memories, our intimate personalization and self-definitions.

Shaking off the feeling almost instantly, I walk into a convenience store to get some water for my sore throat. Staring at me through the sliding glass doors is a bottle of water from the Fiji Islands. Face to face with my reality, I stand there gazing at the tiny bottle as my mind once again loads and runs a cinematic reel. Half-remembered and half-forgotten memories from another place and time, now encompassed by this beautiful luminescent blue bottle, conjures up an entire history.

It’s problematic to hold a bottle of FIJI water with such nostalgic tenderness and pride, especially since it is owned by an US company, and yet we do it. When I discussed this with a friend from Canada, she admitted that she went into a gas station on her way to Los Angeles and bought a bottle of FIJI Water, because it is a Kai-India (Fiji Indian) thing to do. I pay for the FIJI water bottle and hold it as if I am holding Fiji and the history of my people in my hands, and coincidentally, realize that even the rights to FIJI water is owned by an ‘Other’; I am holding colonialism in my hand.

Indentured laborers from India crossed the Kala Pani (Pacific Ocean) in the late 1800s to come to Fiji. They called themselves girmitiyas, derived from the English word ‘agreement,’ which referred to the labor contract, while the British called them ‘coolies.’ The girmitiyas were supposed to simply serve as a working population, but by 1970, not only was Fiji independent of British rule, but the now free descendants of the girmitiyas were a majority population. However, as the 1900s came to a close, many more Indians (more properly referred to as Indo-Fijians) once again crossed the Kala Pani to seek refuge due to ethnic tensions at home.

I drink every drop of the water in the tiny bottle. My thirst quenched, my throat feels better. But my eyes water up.

Real tears aren’t the ones that flow easily. They are the ones hiding behind hooded eyelids, stinging with permanence. And the heart cries.

After the devastating loss of my friends, a tumultuous relationship and the pressing need to make some big decisions about going to law school, I decided to give myself a much-needed emotional recovery break.

Why on earth should I put pressure on myself to live a normal, stable and successful life in a system that continues to illegally keep me apart from my family while raping me of my national identity? There shouldn’t be any expectations on me to take care of anything or anyone. Nor should anyone expect me to abide by any set of rules, principles or societal norms after the way I’ve been outcast and outlawed.

Money is surely an issue especially if I want to go to law school. But I’ve already gotten several job offers and something should work out when I am ready to take up that responsibility again.

I’ll be at George Washington University Law school this August, after rejecting quite a few other prestigious schools, including some in the T-14. It came down to the cost of attendance and GW gave me more money than Georgetown or UCLA. Sidenote: Rankings are so absurd but also come with their benefits, especially if you want to do BigLaw.

In the meantime, I plan to focus on my health and fitness. It’s all about me. Deal with it.

Initially, I was just going to post a series of our gorgeous female immigrant youth and allies in DREAM attire, but there’s always time for that later.

You should check out my hilarious first-try at a Buzzfeed on Israel here.

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The Israeli Navy has killed and wounded dozens of brave humanitarian aid activists who were aboard ships that were carrying humanitarian aid to the 1.5 million people in Gaza who are living under an Israeli-imposed siege.

Even after strong and widespread international condemnation, Israel still holds that it acted well within its rights and did nothing wrong. This is unacceptable and as long as the United States continues to support such a violator of international human rights, Israel will continue to act like a stubborn child and bear no responsibility for its morally despicable and illegal actions.

Here are some actions that can be taken in response to this atrocious action:

1. Obama must stand up Nobel Peace laureates and strongly condemn Israel. For too long, the international community has been two-faced about condemning Israel. Instead of expressing outrage at an attack on civilian ships in international waters, Obama issued a tepid statement saying he “deeply regrets the loss of life and injuries sustained” and wen on to say that Israel is best suited to investigate itself! Please sign this petition calling on Obama to condemn Israel’s assault as a first ste. Call the White House at 202-456-1111 and request that the President:

* Condemn Israel’s attack of Gaza Freedom Flotilla and support a fair and impartial international investigation of it.
* Find Israel in violation of the Arms Export Control Act and immediately end all military aid to Israel.
* Pressure Israel to end its illegal blockade of the occupied Palestinian Gaza Strip.
* End U.S. support for Israel’s illegal 43-year occupation of the Palestinian West Bank, East Jerusalem, and Gaza Strip.

2. The United States Congress must immediately cut off aid to Israel. Request an emergency meeting with your Members of Congress during this week’s Memorial Day recess. Clearly, Israel has become a liability state for the United States. Currently, Congress is in the process of appropriating a record $3.2 billion in military aid to Israel. U.S. State Department figures show Israel received $2.55 billion in U.S. aid last year, with levels to ratchet up to $3.15 billion by 2018. This aid must be frozen while a fair, impartial investigation of this crime is conducted. Ask Congress to not fund the request the FY2010 request for more military aid to Israel.

3. Organize in your local communities to hold demonstrations at Israeli embassies. See the latest list of actions and locations here.

To add your protest to the list, please email flotilla@gazafreedommarch.org or register your event here.

4. Time for boycott, divestment and sanctions. Support the BDS movement: The ongoing blockade and occupation of Gaza is in direct violation of international law. Let aid into Gaza and boycott Israeli products such as AHAVA made from occupied Palestinian territory. For more information, see End the Occupation.

5. Demand that Israel allow the safe passage of the Rachel Corrie flotilla: The MV Rachel Corrie, named after the 23-year-old American peace activist who was crushed to death by an Israeli bulldozer in 2003, is still headed for Gaza. The Irish government owns the ship and has requested that Israel allow safe passage but Israel states it is prepared to block the ship. Send a letter to the Israeli embassies now, demanding safe passage of the remaining flotilla delivering humanitarian aide to Gaza.

Stay tuned for the latest actions, including media talking points, from the US Campaign to End the Occupation. And remember to follow hashtags #freedomfotilla, #fotilla and #rachelcorrie on Twitter for up to the second information.

Crossposted at Alternet

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Representative Luis Gutierrez has managed to incense immigrant youth again with his latest attempt to get the Obama Administration to show leadership on immigration issues.

In the New York Times, the Latino congressional member is quoted saying

“This is the moment for him to act. And if we stumble, if somehow we fail, let’s fail together. Let’s fail fighting!”

DreamActivists are less than impressed:

Good luck, Representative Gutierrez, but we’re not interested in failing. Perhaps you have the luxury of speculating as to what happens if nothing changes, but for us, it’s unthinkable. We don’t have an answer to the question, “What happens if we fail?” We don’t even ask the question. It’s not a question anymore.

-Flavia de la Fuente, Editor, DREAMACTIVIST, May 2010

Representative Gutierrez is not the enemy but the Congressional Hispanic Caucus strategy of pushing for comprehensive immigration reform has meant putting the DREAM Act on the backburner even when the votes are there to push the bill out of committee onto the floor.

The DREAM Act is a narrowly tailored, bipartisan measure which would create a pathway to citizenship for undocumented youth who have grown up in the United States, graduated from high school or obtained a GED and gone on to attend college or join the military. The legislation was first introduced in 2001 by Senator Richard Durbin (D-IL) but despite having majority support, failed to muster enough votes to override cloture in 2007. Currently, the DREAM Act (S. 729 and H.R. 1751) has 39 cosponsors in the Senate and 119 in the House and advocates believe they have the votes to pass the bill.

However, the grassroots popularity of the DREAM Act is also a curse for the legislation. Pro-immigration advocates fear that passing the bill on its own weakens the need for comprehensive immigration reform. They accuse immigrant youth of being selfish and not caring about their parents or the bigger picture. Hence, the DREAM Act has been tied to a bigger bill against the wishes of immigrant youth, the beneficiaries of the legislation.

Of course pro-immigration reform advocates need a reality check based on the reasons listed here. Passing the DREAM Act is long overdue, serves as a litmus test for comparable pieces of legislation and enables undocumented youth to come out of the shadows and fight for more comprehensive solutions.

And that is just a starter list.

Courage requires that advocates for a comprehensive solution to immigration admit the errors in their strategy, which has deferred the dreams of immigrant youth for close to a decade. The least Representative Gutierrez and others in his position can do is support immigrant youth as they lead the fight for the DREAM Act, and eventually, a just and humane immigration reform.

Recently, four brave undocumented students sat down for the DREAM Act in Senator McCain’s office and now face deportation and possibly, torture and death in their countries of origin.

They took this risk because their communities are under attack. They put their lives on the line thinking about friends they have lost in the struggle. For these undocumented youth, living in limbo is more scary than the risk of deportation, and they demand an immediate passage of the DREAM Act as a standalone bill.

The sit-down sparked acts of civil disobedience around the country. From hunger strikes in Michigan calling on Senator Stabenow to co-sponsor the DREAM Act to protests in front of Senator Schumer’s office, calling him to champion the legislation. From Los Angeles youth shutting down Wilshire Boulevard (and making that trend on Twitter) to immigrant youth in Kentucky going on a 65 hour hunger strike, asking Senator Bunning to support the DREAM. These Dream Activists are far from done; in fact, they are just getting started.

If Rep. Gutierrez wants to restore his lost credibility among immigrant youth and show leadership on the issue, he should broker deals and get the necessary votes to restore and pass the DREAM Act as a standalone bill so that immigrant youth and immigrant communities can have a real victory sometime soon.

He can start with actually getting the entire Congressional Hispanic Caucus behind the bill and then pushing Chairwoman of Immigration Subcommittee Zoe Lofgren and Speaker Nancy Pelosi to get the legislation through the House.

Next, Rep. Gutierrez can reach out to Senator Menendez (D-NJ) and Senator Durbin (D-IL) and help secure the votes for passage of the DREAM Act in the Senate.

Would a sit-in at his office compel him to adopt a new strategy? I personally doubt it, but it’s time for the Congressional member to stop throwing tantrums at the White House and show some real leadership for his community.

The time is now. And failure isn’t an option.