NO H.A.G.

Septic Truck- Funny Picture

2014-08-09T12:03:00.001-07:00

Oh Wow! A remarkably simple way to clean your computer screen!

2014-03-31T04:43:00.001-07:00

Did you know that every 30 days it is necessary to clean the computer screen from the inside? Many people ignore this fact and do not know how.

Manufacturers take advantage of this ignorance to increase their sales.

My IT guy shared this and said feel free to share this utility with my contacts.

To clean the screen from the inside, just click this link: http://lingdao.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf

A Message From The Sex Fairy

2014-03-24T04:41:00.002-07:00

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, making hair shine and skin smooth.
=============
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers !
=============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered.
The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy !
=============
7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world.
It is ten times more effective than Valium
=============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.
Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose.
Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

SIDE EFFECTS FROM VIAGRA

2014-03-24T04:35:00.001-07:00

Funny Joke About The Name Carmen (adult)

2014-03-24T04:33:00.003-07:00

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him. That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"

No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Beertits" he replied.

It's In The Bible - A Funny Joke

2014-03-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

An out-of-towner becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress
in his hotel coffee shop, and invites her up to his room.

She is indignant.

The guy says, "Don't get excited. This is all in the Bible."

Thelma is appeased, and after her shift they go out and have
a few drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and
again she is angry.

The man explains, "It's in the Bible."

An hour later they're in the guy's hotel room and he suggests
They undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn't sinful since it's in the Bible.

"Where?" she says. "Where does it say that?"

Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to
the front cover where someone has written,

"Thelma the waitress is a great lay."

Man's Ultimate Emarrassment

2014-03-17T08:32:00.001-07:00

Thought of the day from Maxine's sister!

What is man's Ultimate embarrassment?

Answer:

Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

Close your eyes... And go back...

2014-03-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

...Before the Internet or PC or the MAC...

...Before semi-automatics and crack...

...Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...

...Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail...

...way back...

...way... way... way back...

I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk

Red light, Green light

Red Rover... Red Rover...

Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first ...no... second... no... third streetlight came on

Ring around the Rosie

London Bridge

Hot potato

Hop Scotch

Jump rope

Duck... duck... GOOSE!!!

YOU'RE IT!!

Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones

Mother May I?

Hula Hoops

Seeing shapes in the clouds

Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open

The sound of crickets

Running through the sprinkler

Happy Meals

Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom

Cracker jacks with the same thing

Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend

....but wait... there's more...

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons

Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man,

Schoolhouse Rock

Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges)

Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos

FONZIE.....AYYYYYYYY

Playing Dukes of Hazard

Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar

Christmas morning

Your first day of school

Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses

Climbing trees

Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky

Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck

A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers

Jumpin' down the steps

Jumpin' on the bed

Pillow fights

Sleep-overs

A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH

Runnin' till you were out of breath

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt

Being tired from PLAYING

WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes

Your first crush

Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN

Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in The classroom, Remember that?

Oh, I'm not finished yet...

Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer

So was a swig from the hose

Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school

Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches

When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there

When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance; and another quarter a MIRACLE

When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries...And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.

Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!

Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"

Well, let's keep going!!

Let's go back to the time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

Nobody was prettier than Mom

Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.

Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life... I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!

House of Deer

2014-03-05T11:31:00.004-08:00

House of Deer -- you may have to wait a few seconds for the pictures but they are amazing. These photos come from a family who lives on the Olympic Peninsula in the area of west of Brinnon, Washington.

Eva in the pyramid

Our house was built in the deer's natural habitat in a remote rural area. Well, worn deer trails cut through the property's abundant pine and sage. The oldest deer we've met (we call her Mama Rose) walked right up to us when we first arrived, sniffing and looking us over. Rose smelled some almonds in my pocket so I gave her a few. We gave some almonds to her family a few other times but stopped the practice when advised that feeding deer is illegal. Even so, that didn't stop them from regular visits. Rose and her kin obviously think the yard belongs to them as much as anyone else, and they are just taking advantage of the wealth of natural foods growing everywhere. They especially like clover flowers, but it's amazing to see the variety of tasty flowers, leaves, twigs, nuts and berries they'll eat. They stay away from herbs and herbal flowers, but on occasion we've seen young deer eating the sweet medicinal berries of the Juniper tree. Food is of course a major concern, but we also think they visit because they like our company. Often we see deer we don't know nibbling in the yard, but nearly everyday some or many of Rose's extended family come by. All of the deer are likely to lay down on the grass and hang out, whether we know them well or not. Many of them know us personally, and while often running into the yard to greet us with their quiet enthusiasm, they will also swiftly shy away from strangers. Although notoriously skittish, able to leap meters in the air in an instant when startled, a few deer we know, most notably Eva and her kids, will let us touch them as if we were family, letting us scratch them or pick something out of their fur. Eva even enjoys a hearty back rub! We've certainly learned a lot about how to act around them so as not to disturb them. We think they appreciate our efforts in fitting into their neighborhood.

Freddy with his first big antlers

Marlis in the back yard with nine deer from Mama Rose's family

Mama Rose, the matriarch -- she taught us "the way of the deer". In winter 2005 she disappeared, passing her throne on to Lisa.

Lisa explaining the situation to Rasa

Marlis hanging out with Lisa

Two women sharing a secret

Rasa with Eva and her kids

Freddy eating clover flowers

Rasa explaining the situation to Rosie

Lisa and Eva looking up to the balcony

Young Ram with Marlis

Rasa giving Charlotta a third eye massage

(when he was very young we thought this guy was female,

But when his velvet antler brow first began to appear, and we realized our mistake, we decided to leave him as a buck named Charlotta)

Lisa ringing the front door bell with her nose

Could be any afternoon they drop by

Talking business

Mama Rose on the balcony

Young Ram practices the nose ritual with Rasa

Well, come right in . .

So cute!

A Couple of Groaners

2014-03-03T03:22:00.004-08:00

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is
away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than
expected, sits, & gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and off they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks,

"Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."

------------
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner.
On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent
heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.

On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard.
"Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.

On the third hole, a miracle occurred & Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"

He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!!!!"

By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, &asked why the priest said "Hoover".

"It's the biggest dam I know."

"Intelligence-challenged people"

2014-03-03T03:16:00.002-08:00

45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas,
after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of
marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car
which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize
that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the
oil.

Portsmouth, R. I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a
string of vending machine robberies in January when he:
1. fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him
loitering around a vending machine and 2 .later tried to post his $400 bail in coins.

Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida, for
robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

In case you've forgotten about the 1995 awardees, some of them are listed below:

* Bowling Green, Ohio, student Robert Ricketts, 19, had his
head bloodied when he was struck by a Conrail train. He told
police he was trying to see how close to the moving train he
could place his head without getting hit.

* In Wesley Chapel, Florida, Joseph Aaron, 20, was hit in the
leg with pieces of the bullet he fired at the exhaust pipe of
his car. When repairing the car, he needed to bore a hole in
the pipe. When he couldn't find a drill, he tried to shoot a
hole in it.

Just wach this

2014-02-24T02:23:00.000-08:00

Did you ever wonder what became of Alfred E. Neuman, the guy from Mad Magazine???

(just watch)

Tow Service -- And you thought you had a bad day !

2014-02-24T02:21:00.003-08:00

I could have sworn I hit the brake pedal!
Car upside down in the bay - see guy standing on it?

Call out the wrecker!

Coming back up...coming...coming

Coming...almost there!

Ooops!

I could have sworn I set the brakes on that truck!
Time to get a Bigger Wrecker!

Ok, we got the car...let's get the other wrecker now!

O...O...oohhh No!!Who's gonna explain this one to the insurance guys?
SEE...your day has not been so bad after all...

This is just too weird.....

2014-02-24T02:13:00.000-08:00

Double teeth.. (OMG the cost of braces)

Googly Eyes

Worlds Largest Man....

Long Dreads Mon....

Elastic Man

Throat Ring...ewwww

Talk about thunder thighs.......

When to stop tanning....

COSTCO! read this...

2014-02-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

Let's hear it for Costco!! (This is just mind-boggling!) Make sure you read all the way past the list of the drugs. The woman that signed below is a Budget Analyst out of federal Washington , DC offices.

Did you ever wonder how much it costs a drug company for the active ingredient in prescription medications? Some people think it must cost a lot, since many drugs sell for more than $2.00 per tablet. We did a search of offshore chemical synthesizers that supply the active ingredients found in drugs approved by the FDA. As we have revealed in past issues of Life Extension, a significant percentage of drugs sold in the United States contain active ingredients made in other countries. In our independent investigation of how much profit drug companies really make, we obtained the actual price of active ingredients used in some of the most popular drugs sold in America .

The data below speaks for itself.

Claritin: 100 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $215.17
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.71
Percent markup: 30,306%

Keflex: 250 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $157.39
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.88
Percent markup: 8,372%

Lipitor: 20 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $272.37
Cost of general active ingredients: $5.80
Percent markup: 4,696%

Norvasc: 10 mg Cost of general active ingredients: $0.14
Percent markup: 134,493%

Paxil: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $220.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $7.60
Percent markup: 2,898%

Prevacid: 30 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $44.77
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.01
Percent markup: 34,136%

Prilosec: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $360.97
Cost of general active ingredients $0.52
Percent markup: 69,417%

Prozac: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $247.47
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.11
Percent markup: 224,973%

Tenormin: 50 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $104.47
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.13
Percent markup: 80,362%

Vasotec: 10 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $102.37
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.20
Percent markup: 51,185%

Xanax: 1 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $136.79
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.024
Percent markup: 569,958%

Zestril: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) $89.89
Cost of general active ingredients $3.20
Percent markup: 2,809

Zithromax: 600 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $1,482.19
Cost of general active ingredients: $18.78
Percent markup: 7,892%

Zocor: /B 40 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $350.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $8.63
Percent markup: 4,059%

Zoloft: 50 mg
Consumer price: $206.87
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.75
Percent markup: 11,821%

Since the cost of prescription drugs is so outrageous, I thought everyone should know about this. Please read the following and pass it on. It pays to shop around. This helps to solve the mystery as to why they can afford to put a Walgreen's on every corner. On Monday night, Steve Wilson, an investigative reporter for Channel 7 News in Detroit , did a story on generic drug price gouging by pharmacies. He found in his investigation, that some of these generic drugs were marked up as much as 3,000% or more. Yes, that's not a typo.....three thousand percent! So often, we blame the drug companies for the high cost of drugs, and usually rightfully so. But in this case, the fault clearly lies with the pharmacies themselves. For example, if you had to buy a prescription drug, and bought the name brand, you might pay $100 for 100 pills. The pharmacist might tell you that if you get the generic equivalent, they would only cost $80, making you think you are "saving" $20. What the pharmacist is not telling you is that those 100 generic pills may have only cost him $10!

At the end of the report, one of the anchors asked Mr. Wilson whether or not there were any pharmacies that did not adhere to this practice, and he said that Costco consistently charged little over their cost for the generic drugs.

I went to the Costco site, where you can look up any drug, and get its online price. It says that the in-store prices are consistent with the online prices. I was appalled. Just to give you one example from my own experience, I had to use the drug, Compazine, which helps prevent nausea in chemo patients.

I used the generic equivalent, which cost $54.99 for 60 pills at CVS. I checked the price at Costco, and I could have bought 100 pills for $19.89. For 145 of my pain pills, I paid $72.57. I could have got 150 at Costco for $28.08.

I would like to mention, that although Costco is a "membership" type store, you do NOT have to be a member to buy prescriptions there, as it is a federally regulated substance. You just tell them at the door that you wish to use the pharmacy, and they will let you in. (this is true)

I went there this past Thursday and asked them. I am asking each of you to please help me by copying this letter, and passing it into your own e-mail, and send it to everyone you know with an e-mail address.

Sharon L. Davis
Budget Analyst
U.S . Department of Commerce
Room 6839
Office Ph: 202-482-4458
Office Fax: 202-482-5480
E-mail Address: sdavis@doc.gov

The Media Missed this one!!!!

2014-02-17T07:39:00.002-08:00

Please read this, then send it to everybody you know.

They'll thank you as they forward this to others as well.

Subject: Denzel Washington, and

Brooks Army Medical Center

Don't know whether you heard about this

But Denzel Washington and his family visited

The troops at Brook Army Medical Center , in

San Antonio , Texas (BAMC) the other day. This

Is where soldiers who have been evacuated from
Germany come to be hospitalized in the United

States, especially burn victims. There are some

Buildings there called Fisher Houses. The Fisher

House is a Hotel where soldiers' families can stay,

For little or no charge, while their soldier is staying

In the Hospital. BAMC has quite a few of these houses

On base, but as you can imagine, they are almost filled

Most of the time.

While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave

Him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses. He asked how

Much one of them would cost to build. He took his check

Book out and wrote a check for the full amount right there

On the spot. The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear

This story and want to get the word out to the American

Public, because it warmed their hearts to hear it.

The question I have is why does:

Alec Baldwin,

Madonna,

Sean Penn and

Other Hollywood types

Make front page news with their anti-everything

America trash and Denzel Washington's Patriotism

Doesn't even make page 3 in the Metro section of

Any newspaper except the Local newspaper in San

Antonio .

A true American and friend to all in uniform!

This needs as wide a distribution
As we can create.

GOD BLESS YOU DENZEL

FOR YOUR PATRIOTISM

Competition at Harrison Lake, B.C.

2014-02-17T01:36:00.000-08:00

Manicure?

2014-02-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

Just amazing!!

2014-02-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

More chalk drawings from Julian Beever. Scroll down slowly and stop at each new frame. Incredible!!!!!
Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France , Germany , USA , Australia and Belgium . Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

Don't miss seeing Julian Beever on the Top of the Bottle

Look Closely, you can see the Bricks through the Chalk on theMonitor Screen

People are actually avoiding walking in the "hole"

Which is the real guy &which beer is real?

Girl in Swimming Pool

(Remember, both his feet in reality are flat on the pavement)

Girl in Swimming Pool seen in Reverse from Opposite Sideof Drawing

Politicians Meeting Their End

World's Biggest Fly-Spray

This drawing of a Rescue was to be viewed using an inverting mirror

girl on a beach mat.

Make Poverty

Make Poverty History drawing from the side(40 ft long)

Baby Food

Baby Food in Reverse seen from the opposite side of the drawing

Spiderman to the rescue

Batman and Robin to the rescue(SO COOL)

Very amusing signs

2014-02-09T06:07:00.002-08:00

Sometimes a name change is the best idea...

Major dilemma in California .

How do you get there from here?

Everything you need for

your "shotgun" wedding!

It's a good deal, but... oh, the college costs!

McLogic gone wrong..

Still Dead, Huh???........Go Figure...

What?

" Mass suicides...Cows going over the edge...tonight on Channel 3 News..."

Load 'em up with burritos, Mom!!

I'm Confused.. But The Gas Prices Look Good

How does that work?

I can't even comment on this one

ok ;...

Speling iz knot imprtunt fir astranawts

Make up your mind

Don't drink and make signs...

Just some things to make your day a bit brighter.

Money

2014-02-07T07:04:00.001-08:00

Money

It can buy a house

But not a home

It can buy a clock

But not time

It can buy you a position

But not respect

It can buy you a bed

But not sleep

It can buy you a book

But not knowledge

It can buy you medicine

But not health

It can buy you blood

But not life

So you see money isn't everything

And it often causes pain and suffering

I tell you this because I am your friend

And as your friend I want to
Take away your pain and suffering!!

So
Send me all your money

And I will suffer for you!

Cash only please!

After all, what are friends for, huh??

PONDERISMS

2014-02-04T23:27:00.000-08:00

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its arse."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.......

2014-01-20T06:22:00.003-08:00

The following photos show conclusively why it is that women tend to live longer than men...

("And to think... those wimps at the power company use straps and cleats to get up this high!")

chlorine gas leak

Step 1: Remove shoes.
Step 2: Place metal ladder in water.
Step 3: Begin using power tools (!) while standing barefoot (!) on metal ladder (!) in water!!!

And the winner is...

How drunk do you have to be before this starts looking like a good idea?

Driving to work

2014-01-17T06:49:00.003-08:00

So, I'm driving to work this morning - and this dick in a pickup truck pulls right in front of me...

A" MAN ' S" Camper

2014-01-14T23:54:00.001-08:00

WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD WANT TO LOOK LIKE THEY WERE CAMPING IN A GARBAGE TRUCK???!! Until you look inside!