tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60694421029481684682025-06-23T08:29:50.695-05:00Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-39487163345985126972017-10-20T06:22:00.001-05:002017-10-21T07:51:48.344-05:00

Grzq had always been fascinated by humans. True, to the untrained alien eye all this species seemed to do was wage a rather one-sided war against the fish on their planet. Which was strange, because the fish didn’t seem all that threatening, nor all that interested in the war. Nevertheless, the humans spent huge efforts turning all their natural resources into their most toxic subparts,

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-7161730770666585912017-09-28T09:43:00.002-05:002018-02-02T01:30:26.948-06:00

Part 5 Alien castaway Gryx gained access to the room of the presidential candidate by disguising himself as a member of the hotel staff. He found the businessman behind a desk, checking real estate prices on his computer. “I know you’ve been trying to get out of the presidential race,” he said, waking the man from his mental slumber. “Doing everything you could to get people to stop

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-4854536410382316352017-09-25T08:42:00.000-05:002018-02-02T01:31:06.470-06:00

Part 4 Alien castaway Gryx sat in his broken emergency return capsule for days, trying to work out the best way to get the humans to build him an inter-dimensional beacon using their nuclear capabilities. It’d be his only way off the earth. According to the local InterNet, the easiest way to get access to nuclear information was to be the president of a nuclear capable country. As it

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-57553051094426760492017-09-21T05:26:00.000-05:002018-02-02T01:31:24.373-06:00

Part 3 Return capsules weren’t supposed to land. Ever. They were supposed to head home and dock with an orbital jump station. This meant there was no official way to change the flight plan. That being said, there weren’t many things in the universe a quart of five-thousand-year-old whisky couldn’t lay to waste – Gryx’ brain and liver could attest to this. And, as expected, the

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-22037644785472098352017-09-15T12:47:00.000-05:002018-02-02T01:31:37.628-06:00

Part 2 Imagine traveling the 27 catrillion million light-years to earth without a single problem, then turning on the landing lights way too early and scaring the inhabitants of several major cities – already the people of earth were talking up a storm about those ‘strange lights in the sky’. Not the best way to start a stealth interplanetary mission. But this was exactly what

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-74987645721130835532017-09-14T08:07:00.000-05:002017-09-14T08:30:14.004-05:00

Let's talk for a moment about the curious case of Male Invisibility. You probably don’t realize that, even though you’ve made eye contact with The One, and you’ve talked to her, it’s still likely you’re completely invisible to Her. For the girl of your dreams that was just eyes crossing paths. It happens to her all the time. And that delightful conversation you had? If she even

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-44264797434878236132017-09-12T10:14:00.000-05:002018-02-02T01:31:51.620-06:00

Part 1 “You know,” the businessman said, “I never actually wanted to be president.” He looked over at the stacks of campaign posters, the streamers, the flyers. “Believe me,” he said, “I just thought it would be good PR to run. I’d go on the trail for a few weeks, drum up some extra business, then announce I’d no longer fund my own campaign and that would be it.” He seemed to have lost his

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-63239133104583751642015-04-05T07:35:00.000-05:002015-04-05T12:16:19.157-05:00

A lot has happened in the last few months. Actually, three things have happened, but to me that’s a lot. Come to think of it, more than three things have probably happened – the world, I’m told, is a fairly large place – but only three things I feel I have the insight to talk about right now. First, the screenplay version of No Hope for Gomez! has won several awards. Second, the paperback and

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-54158305501217479712013-11-04T08:24:00.000-06:002013-12-03T03:57:17.114-06:00

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.” – from Completely Flappable As you may know, I hold an event each year during which I give away free books and raffle off some prizes. This year I thought it would be fun to donate the proceeds as well. A while ago it occurred to me that it’s probably not governments or big corporations that

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-72355225784041894542013-10-01T07:31:00.000-05:002017-10-17T06:14:10.455-05:00

People often complain that the divorce rate is so high these days. As if it’s any kind of mystery. Clearly it’s because of perfume and deodorant commercials. They are the one and only reason. Deodorant commercials have us convinced, after years and years of indoctrination, that we are worthless, disgusting humans who reek and need to be covered up. All day, every day. And soon enough, all night.

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-29712413298667787012013-06-21T15:08:00.000-05:002015-05-03T10:36:25.609-05:00

Story time. Don't Look Out... Kiala really didn’t want to open her front door. There were no signs that anything was lurking around out there, but she knew she couldn’t be alone. Not on a day like today. She’d thought about sneaking a peek through the blinds, checking the tree line that marked the edge of the village, but realized it wouldn’t do her any good. Sooner or later she’d have to

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-1094252188486822332013-04-15T07:48:00.000-05:002013-04-15T07:48:17.469-05:00

It used to be that only preppers and people with a high level of government clearance had the foresight to create a plan for the end of the world. A set of backup scenarios; food supplies scattered around the country side, escape routes out of the city, a bomb shelter here or there, that kind of thing. But these days any halfway intelligent person needs to have some kind of plan, and as I’ve

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-57941756275729132942013-02-01T04:12:00.002-06:002013-02-01T04:12:28.782-06:00

Do I wish that everyday were a Friday? Probably not, then I'd have to work every day of my life. Fridays are defined by their Saturdays and Sundays, so an endless repeating stream of Fri/Sa/Sun, then? Nah, Fridays would take on a Monday like quality, and I don't want to give up my Friday feeling. Optimal week plan? Monday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and repeat. This also significantly increases

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-51730135476824412902012-11-05T08:08:00.000-06:002012-11-05T08:24:46.765-06:00

Leverage on Victorian Era Love: How did people survive in Victorian times? He tries to imagine writing out a letter long hand with a quill. Perhaps running out of ink and having to wait till Monday to buy more. Then finishing the letter, sealing it, and riding off to some kind of post office in the next town over. Waiting in line. Paying up and trying not to scream when he finds out the last

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-75212290620995033362012-10-25T15:30:00.000-05:002012-10-25T15:30:02.572-05:00

If not for the book, watch this one for the hair!

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-30608043593307311782012-10-05T17:43:00.001-05:002012-10-05T17:43:43.654-05:00

Don't worry, calm down, it's almost Monday...

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-35014409002700754702012-10-02T09:18:00.001-05:002012-10-02T09:18:30.077-05:00

I believe that there is a strong possibility that women have a secret mission. Subconsciously, at least, they feel the need to obtain a single pair of shoes for each day of the year. They may not be aware of this themselves, but ask any woman who owns less than 365 pairs of shoes whether she has enough shoes, and you’ll have your answer. At least for that year. But why is this? Ask any man to

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-40118805935471130452012-09-20T03:48:00.000-05:002012-09-20T03:48:21.977-05:00

So far, being alive is probably one of the most complicated things I’ve attempted. In fact, all the other complicated things seem to stem directly from it. Even today, many years after my (alleged) birth, strange and worrying questions keep arising. Here is the list of things I could use some help with this week. If you have any answers for me, just jut them down in the comments below: - Ever

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-30353462026720459122012-09-10T06:19:00.001-05:002012-09-10T06:20:35.951-05:00

For a limited time only, get a free sequel to the award winning No Hope for Gomez! with the purchance of any of my novels. This sequel is not available anywhere else. No Hope for Gomez (paperback) Unspent Time (paperback) Unspent Time (Kindle) Unspent Time (other eBook formats) Simply forward your receipt to nohopeforgomez@gmail.com to register for your free copy. Unspent Time

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-53179379821509900522011-11-04T03:11:00.000-05:002011-11-04T03:11:07.422-05:00

It is not uncommon for writers such as myself to have a keenly developed interest in their fellow man. To be able to spend hours just looking at people, listening to them, finding out all the interesting little synchronicities and ambiguities that make them them. It’s all precious information to the writer brain. From the way people carry themselves, to their wardrobe of choice, to their

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-42398471859227574292011-09-30T14:48:00.000-05:002011-09-30T14:48:33.801-05:00

My own spiritual journey with Goki Feng Hoo, the ancient Chinese art of decoding car license plates, started when I spotted the following plate on a French car as it passed me when I was vacationing in Alsace: 154–GP–657. All beginnings are said to be humble and you are sure to be underwhelmed by this revelation. This particular plate is so obvious, so straight forward, that it’d take a very

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-18271888632261121652011-09-23T03:27:00.000-05:002011-09-23T07:51:54.155-05:00

I’ve recently become a master in Goki Feng Ho, the ancient Chinese art of decoding license plates. It has, you can imagine, changed my life dramatically and for the better. Like most practitioners, I’ve always had this suspicion that there’s more to life. That we can’t be mere random collections of molecules with no higher purpose than figuring out how not to soil ourselves while we keep our

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-72126164206137460692011-08-31T02:52:00.000-05:002011-08-31T02:56:38.975-05:00

As "No Hope for Gomez!" has just won the Book of the Year award, I thought it would be nice to celebrate by giving away a free sequel to anyone who can bother to download it ;) Things start to spiral out of control for Gomez when he tries to win back his ex-girlfriend during a very strange New Year's Eve party. Clinical studies have shown that reading the "Random Acts of Senseless Kindness"

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-57434513414767105072011-07-19T08:07:00.001-05:002011-07-19T08:07:41.924-05:00

Looking into my past lives. Am convinced some of these still owe me money.

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-52064018026183225462011-07-13T07:26:00.000-05:002011-07-13T07:26:30.822-05:00

"Every once in a while you come across a novel so fresh and new it reacquaints you with feelings of childhood wonder. The novel my neighbor, Warren, wrote was my first example of the exact opposite of this." -- Gomez in 'No Hope for Gomez!' Blogger Kindle Winner: Serena from SavvyVerseandWit.com Reader Kindle Winner: Arthur Hall (US) Reader iPod Winner: Lynn Bassler (US) Limited edition

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