tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60694421029481684682012-03-14T08:15:01.766-05:00Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125NoHopeForGomezhttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-84878098717650233852012-02-23T16:00:00.001-06:002012-02-23T16:00:03.607-06:002012-02-23T16:00:03.607-06:00

I've been quiet for a while, I know, but I was working on something special. It's almost done. Just dotting the I's and crossing the T's. Here's the blurby bit. "From the award winning author of ‘No Hope for Gomez!’ comes a collection of 20 impossible tales. Permeating the cracks between the past and the present is the realm of Unspent Time. Pockets of ‘should have been’s and ‘might have

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-8221591326448362382011-12-28T02:21:00.001-06:002011-12-28T02:21:24.669-06:002011-12-28T02:21:24.669-06:00

I'm all for safety and a better world and that kind of stuff, but every once in a while I try to blow up a commercial airliner. I do this using liquid explosives, what else. I carry it around in ordinary water bottles and, just to throw airport security off, I've trained myself to sip the stuff without pulling a face. That wasn't easy, it took me months. I can do it but it still gives me heart

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-53179379821509900522011-11-04T03:11:00.000-05:002011-11-04T03:11:07.422-05:002011-11-04T03:11:07.422-05:00

It is not uncommon for writers such as myself to have a keenly developed interest in their fellow man. To be able to spend hours just looking at people, listening to them, finding out all the interesting little synchronicities and ambiguities that make them them. It’s all precious information to the writer brain. From the way people carry themselves, to their wardrobe of choice, to their

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-42398471859227574292011-09-30T14:48:00.000-05:002011-09-30T14:48:33.801-05:002011-09-30T14:48:33.801-05:00

My own spiritual journey with Goki Feng Hoo, the ancient Chinese art of decoding car license plates, started when I spotted the following plate on a French car as it passed me when I was vacationing in Alsace: 154–GP–657. All beginnings are said to be humble and you are sure to be underwhelmed by this revelation. This particular plate is so obvious, so straight forward, that it’d take a very

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-18271888632261121652011-09-23T03:27:00.000-05:002011-09-23T07:51:54.155-05:002011-09-23T07:51:54.155-05:00

I’ve recently become a master in Goki Feng Ho, the ancient Chinese art of decoding license plates. It has, you can imagine, changed my life dramatically and for the better. Like most practitioners, I’ve always had this suspicion that there’s more to life. That we can’t be mere random collections of molecules with no higher purpose than figuring out how not to soil ourselves while we keep our

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-72126164206137460692011-08-31T02:52:00.000-05:002011-08-31T02:56:38.975-05:002011-08-31T02:56:38.975-05:00

As "No Hope for Gomez!" has just won the Book of the Year award, I thought it would be nice to celebrate by giving away a free sequel to anyone who can bother to download it ;) Things start to spiral out of control for Gomez when he tries to win back his ex-girlfriend during a very strange New Year's Eve party. Clinical studies have shown that reading the "Random Acts of Senseless Kindness"

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-57434513414767105072011-07-19T08:07:00.001-05:002011-07-19T08:07:41.924-05:002011-07-19T08:07:41.924-05:00

Looking into my past lives. Am convinced some of these still owe me money.

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-52064018026183225462011-07-13T07:26:00.000-05:002011-07-13T07:26:30.822-05:002011-07-13T07:26:30.822-05:00

"Every once in a while you come across a novel so fresh and new it reacquaints you with feelings of childhood wonder. The novel my neighbor, Warren, wrote was my first example of the exact opposite of this." -- Gomez in 'No Hope for Gomez!' Blogger Kindle Winner: Serena from SavvyVerseandWit.com Reader Kindle Winner: Arthur Hall (US) Reader iPod Winner: Lynn Bassler (US) Limited edition

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-31051687898696551072011-06-30T02:38:00.000-05:002011-06-30T02:38:39.145-05:002011-06-30T02:38:39.145-05:00

I have recently uncovered the last taped conversation of ace reporter Kent Worthington. According to my calculations, it was made a day before his mysterious disappearance, and I dare say it contains some vital clues… (Some names may have been changed to protect my innocence) Kent: Colonel, what can you say about the reports of an object coming down over the Boswell fields? Colonel: It

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-8701347290266657592011-06-17T03:22:00.000-05:002011-12-28T02:19:58.102-06:002011-12-28T02:19:58.102-06:00

I'm all for safety and a better world and that kind of stuff, but every once in a while I try to blow up a commercial airliner. I do this using liquid explosives, what else. I carry it around in ordinary water bottles and, just to throw airport security off, I've trained myself to sip the stuff without pulling a face. That wasn't easy, it took me months. I can do it but it still gives me heart

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-35955100509708666062011-05-23T15:14:00.001-05:002011-05-23T15:14:17.896-05:002011-05-23T15:14:17.896-05:00

Blog entry: Saturday. Decided to do a little detective work and find out what made one of my fellow drug trial participants pass out. Headed over to the hospital and queued up at the front desk to ask if there were any visitor’s hours that day. “Sure,” the nurse told me. “Who did you want to see?” “A Mr. Miller. Mr. Joseph Miller. He was brought in two days ago.” The nurse consulted her computer

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-10908717854593111492011-05-15T03:26:00.000-05:002011-05-15T03:28:08.125-05:002011-05-15T03:28:08.125-05:00

As you probably know, to become an internationally best-selling author, you need to sell three books. This is not an easy task, but once you’ve managed to rack up these three sales, the rest is more or less a done deal. Now, these sales themselves will not put you on the best-seller lists. They won’t even put you within a million spots of the bottom of the lists, but what they will do, and what

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-81056903880962599492011-05-09T07:17:00.000-05:002011-05-16T06:23:16.209-05:002011-05-16T06:23:16.209-05:00

It's the Summer of Gomez!Get free books and win a Kindle or iPod. As reviewers have been calling “No Hope for Gomez!” the perfect summer read - light, fast, fun - I decided to give this summer's Gomez readers some exclusive content and the chance to win prizes. About No Hope for Gomez! It's the age-old tale:  -   Boy meets girl.  -   Boy stalks girl.  -   Girl already has a stalker.  -   Boy

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-3622244512482782202011-04-21T11:55:00.000-05:002011-04-22T14:48:54.836-05:002011-04-22T14:48:54.836-05:00

Read part I first. I understand if at this point you are in awe of me. If you have trouble believing anyone could be this insightful. And that’s fine. That’s natural at such life changing moments. But, really, I cannot take full credit. I happened to witness an event early in my professional career that gave me a vital clue to the puzzle. Without it I would not have figured this out. I had

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-44932513067242823752011-04-15T08:18:00.000-05:002011-04-15T08:18:14.869-05:002011-04-15T08:18:14.869-05:00

I’ve finally figured out why we laugh at someone when they do something dorky. When they almost trip, when they stub their toe, when they stack a number of paper cups, only to find that the bottom cup wasn’t quite empty. For years I assumed it was some kind of mean streak we have tucked away deep inside our subconscious. We might think we’re nice people, ready to lend a helping hand, ready with

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-55731823930155443992011-03-10T11:56:00.000-06:002011-03-10T11:56:09.381-06:002011-03-10T11:56:09.381-06:00

More and more readers are threatening to buy my weird little novel ‘No Hope for Gomez!’ and in the process make me disgustingly rich and popular. As I always hated the popular kids in school, and I have a profound distrust of the rich, I’ve obviously been working hard at staying piss-poor and disgruntled. So far, so good. I’m very disgruntled and, better yet, I’ve found another way of making

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-67966456941854650962011-02-17T12:13:00.000-06:002011-02-17T12:13:24.721-06:002011-02-17T12:13:24.721-06:00

The following mysterious chat was found buried in a temp folder on a defunct server. It is presented here in the hope that someone might be able to shed some light on this. Internet chat started at: 17:05 Instant messages are being archived on this computer Graham: Mr. Porter, I hope you remember me. I bought a rather expensive chest of drawers in your antiques store last week. Gomez: That

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-7244407258424705432011-02-07T10:43:00.000-06:002011-02-07T10:43:00.812-06:002011-02-07T10:43:00.812-06:00

It's the age old tale: Boy meets girl. Boy stalks girl. Girl already has a stalker. Boy becomes her stalker-stalker. Learn how this works out for him in "No Hope for Gomez!" As a mildly interesting coincidence, you can actually win a copy of this book by becoming an email-follower of this blog. Or, if you are one of the bright, heroic people already following, then just jot

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-31465302212827944922011-02-02T08:56:00.000-06:002011-02-04T01:33:14.387-06:002011-02-04T01:33:14.387-06:00

There is nothing more cool than making fun of the innocent, and there is no-one more innocent than me. (Ok, so neither statement is actually true, sue me.) So why not make fun of myself? This is what I thought when I came across a facebook picture taken of me at a wedding I attended last month. This was one of those deals where someone catches you unawares and immortalizes an expression you

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-56047741852833304102011-01-18T15:18:00.001-06:002011-01-18T15:18:26.494-06:002011-01-18T15:18:26.494-06:00

I was attacked by my hairdresser. I was butchered and left for dead. It taught me a very valuable lesson: don’t insult your hairdresser. Ever. No matter how rude and obnoxious she is. Unless you are fully prepared to throw off the gown and walk out the door, you'll have to grin and bear it. I pissed my hairdresser off and paid a terrible price. Here's what happened. I was a bit annoyed because

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-17474301684031546242011-01-03T13:05:00.000-06:002011-01-13T03:30:59.896-06:002011-01-13T03:30:59.896-06:00

Blurb: Gomez' life continues to crumble towards insanity after the events chronicled in "No Hope for Gomez!". Clinical studies have shown that reading this spin-off novella is likely to make you more attractive to the opposite sex and elevate your random luck by about 9.5%** (** These statements have not been evaluated by any person of consequence!) Everyone who subscribes to this blog by

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-79162019141363205242010-12-21T01:35:00.000-06:002010-12-21T02:47:30.535-06:002010-12-21T02:47:30.535-06:00

A simple giveaway this time. Subscribe to this shiny new blog as a new follower and you could be the lucky winner of a limited edition, signed copy of "No Date for Gomez!" No Date for Gomez! The Blurb:The events in this novella take place 5 years prior to those described in the international bestseller (fingers crossed): No Hope for Gomez! “I’ve always worried that we have one

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-25961085880003043582010-12-15T01:12:00.000-06:002010-12-15T01:12:09.747-06:002010-12-15T01:12:09.747-06:00

BN: How did you choose being an author for your career? Graham: I don’t think many people sit down to make a career choice and come up with ‘author’. Much like the number of enthusiasts for a vacancy as torture victim are, I suspect, quite low. Read the interview HERE.

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-73163531201422698402010-12-12T07:16:00.001-06:002010-12-12T07:16:46.043-06:002010-12-12T07:16:46.043-06:00

I love Christmas. Or most bits of it. I like the red bits, and the bits with the lights, and I especially like the bits where it gets cold and dark and then I get presents. And I don’t even mind the commercialization of Xmas; shops fronts all dressed up, corny music playing everywhere, people I don’t recall sending me cards and making me feel guilty so I send them a card next year when they

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6069442102948168468.post-20602761785878494262010-12-04T04:11:00.000-06:002010-12-04T04:24:09.586-06:002010-12-04T04:24:09.586-06:00

I've been having fun following forum discussions about possible cast lists for a No Hope for Gomez! Movie. Often authors have someone in mind when they write up a character. An actor maybe, a relative, or just some dude they caught going through their garbage. This I'm told. I don't really write that way. I didn't have anyone in mind when I created the characters in NHfG!, but the discussions

Graham Parkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14247474935088701286noreply@blogger.com0