no hotdogs here

the perfect red

2012-02-29T22:44:00.006-07:00

When examining my life I gravitate towards metaphors. Somehow these tangible comparison allows me to understand the intangible reality of my life better.

Take the following example. I've been searching for the perfect red lipstick for ages. This might seem like a non-brainer to some, trust me that it's not a cut and dry endeavour.

Rocking red lips is a bold makeup move. Lips become front & centre, so they'd better tell a good story. Red is so powerful it can throw your whole face (& beyond) off if you're mis-rouged.

Getting the perfect shade of red is just half the story. The next part is getting a shade of red that I'd actually want to touch my lips. Most lipsticks are made with the grossest toxic ingredients. I don't want that stuff in my auric field, let alone touching me.

And then there's that nasty statistic that the average woman eats 4-7 lbs of lipstick over a lifetime. EW. That statistic, strangely, isn't enough for me to stop using lip goo, but it will make me WAY more careful about what lipstick I'm going to eat.

Finding a non-toxic, organic version of the perfect red? I've been searching and experimenting for years. And today I found it. Actually, it found me.

A friend of mine (Taylor) gifted me some makeup of her friend Fiona's up and coming organic makeup line Beautiful Food Cosmetics. It arrived in the mail some months ago, and I finally received it upon returning home for some down time. I tried one of her ravishing shades and knew. The search was over.

And this simple act of applying lipstick made me wonder about all the other things I've been searching for, hoping it would be just right - perfect, I reflected on how those things or people or experiences might just come to me when I'm not even thinking about it. One relaxing day I'll just open myself to the experience and there it will be. Exactly what I wanted. No compromise.

The perfect shade of red is what happens when I'm busy trying to be my best and not focusing on getting or having.

Here's to realizing (& recognizing) all my perfect shade of red moments.

details, details.

2012-02-15T19:44:00.007-07:00

I sit here on the eve of the last day of my 33rd year here on this planet and reflect. What were my most profound learnings of my latest spin with the sun?

First, I've learned to accept my own beauty more. I've been fortunate enough to be around people who let me know what they like about me, which is nice. And it's never what I expect them to say. The things about myself that I might dislike or discount are then very things that draw people to me. Who'd a thought? And so, all of me is likeable, even the parts of me that aren't. This revelation makes it so much easier for me to get along with myself & others.

On the beauty tangent I've come to recognize my sensual nature, and how it's allowed me to become a master appreciator. I can relish in every moment, even the ones that cause me pain. This amazes me all the time. And the beauty around keeps becoming MORE obvious and the moments in my life keep becoming MORE beautiful. I can derive so much pleasure from observing miracles of nature & humankind.

How is this? How is it that life's beauty abounds in the midst of what could be described as "shitty". How is it that we can look for the gift in every moment? Death, tragedy, embarrassment, laziness, ineptitude, dissatisfaction, etc., all have their rainbow factor.

Second, it's come to my attention that paying attention to the small details in my life will invite bigger things. If I can get the minutia of my life in order, where the simplest things are completed proficiently & efficiently, then I open my self to greater experiences. If I can show others, for example, that I can complete basic tasks with a sense of urgency & to a high calibre result, they are more likely to ask me to get involved with more important or high impact activities. Why get involved with someone who can't deliver on the basic stuff?

This seems like an appropriate variable to factor into my decision making. How I do anything is how I do everything. Same goes for others.....

And thirdly, getting clear is the key to activating passion. If I know what I want, (& don't want), it's easy to get up in the morning to work towards it. Fuzziness breeds laziness. A crystal clear vision breeds passionate action.

None of this is rocket science. Geez, this would have been great information to have had 33 years ago. But hey, everything's perfect, right?

Say hello to radiance

2012-01-29T00:29:00.013-07:00

I believe beauty can be invited in. One can cultivate their beauty. In my opinion, I can become more beautiful with time. Using the food I eat, the friends I keep, the thoughts I think, the love I feel, the habits I nurture, and the compound effect of all these I can alter my appearance from the inside out – for the better.

As per my previous post, diet is a big part of improving our beauty. But here are some other thoughts:

Wash with better water.

Showering with a filter is a must. Use a filter or become a filter. Remember, just because the water doesn’t look dirty doesn’t mean its clean. It’s important to protect yourself from the damaging halogens & other toxins found in tab water.

On that note, if a tap water shower is THE option, then take shorter, colder showers; avoid showering in shitty water if you can. Remember it’s the compound effect of these dirty showers that age us prematurely.

Use a potent iodine regularly: Apply a few drops to your skin (the inner side of your forearms). This saturates your receptor sites on your thyroid gland making it less susceptible to the nasty ass halogens (typically found in tap water) that could potentially set up shop there and wreak havoc..

I wash my face with Spring Water. I keep a little cup by the sink and use that for my evening and morning ritual. It seems like a sacred ceremony – using this special water to cleanse my face. And why wouldn’t I? I thank my friend Laura for teaching me this. She’s gorgeous and full of so many insights!

What to do when I travel?

Free radicals and radiation are a bitch for keeping your sacred suppleness. And with travel, there’s usually a surplus of this going on. Flying at night will help minimize radiation.

Using a product like MegaHydrate will help shield you from radiation, free radicals & helps with hydration. I take 2-5 caps daily if I can – I will for sure take 5-9 on travel days.

Skin Care. Literally.

In my opinion, the best skin care is super simple and made from natural products that nourish your skin. There are many options. Personally, I’m into Living Libations. There is something so luxurious cleansing & caring with these oils.

Other tips:

-When available rub fresh aloe all over your face & body. It feels incredible, especially when it’s hot out. And the skin LOVES it. Aloe really is beauty’s best friend. The Pharaohs were well aware of this, and that says A LOT.

-Exfoliate. I use a moistened, gentle, natural-fibre cloth with the living libations best skin ever skin oil.

-Use Ormus Gold on your face. Anecdotally, ormus gold has anti-aging characteristics and increases metabolic rate and cell rejuvenation. It’s not for the meek. I use it and love it.

-Wear the best available, natural sunscreen when necessary to minimize overexposure to the sun. Jane Iredale makes a great one – although this isn’t a great option for most guys.

Exercise: highly recommended

Rebounding & inversions like handstands and headstands are a great way to tone the face and stimulate circulation in this area. Do daily if possible. Rebounding (aka jumping on a mini trampoline) is an easy time-effective way to get a workout in. Plus, that fun jumping applies weight and movement to every cell causing body parts and functions to become stronger, more flexible and healthier. YAY!!

Breathe. Anything you can do to honor your breath will do wonders for your beautification process. Walking or hiking through pretty places is great for this. As is yoga.

Think sexy, loving thoughts about yourself.

Sure, that sounds like hippie talk at it’s finest, and it is, but ugly self-talk does nothing for your beauty quotient. As the saying goes: Treat yourself as you’d treat others (assuming you’re not a flakey douchebag). Practice positivity. And truly cultivate your beauty. Shallow Hal is one of those classic movies that exemplifies how beauty shines from the inside, especially if we allow ourselves to see it.

Surround yourself with people, places & things that make you happy. Ingest truly nutritious foods and minimize exposure to toxins. Turn yourself into a work of art.

Pictured above: in flight on my rebounder.

looking good, baby

2012-01-28T13:04:00.012-07:00

My big thing is looking younger than I am. Besides wanting to continue looking attractive, keeping my youthfulness is important simply because it’s an output of information. Compound effects are largely what cause aging. An accumulation of xyz toxins in the body can cause things to look less vibrant. Maintaining a fresh radiance is simply a way of gauging how well I’m attending to my body-mind-spirit.

In that vain, I thought I would share my beauty protocol.

Here are some of the things that I do, want to do, aim to do as often as possible. At the very least, I know that doing them benefits me – and this is helpful in creating new habits. Having an objective accompanied with knowledge makes it easier to accomplish because when the opportunity arises to do one of the below protocols, all I have to do is act.

Diet:

-Eat sulphur (olives, cabbage, celery, cucumber, garlic, onion, broccoli, cauliflower) & silica rich foods (celery, bell peppers, tomatoes, nettle & horsetail (those last two are very rich in silica - you can find them dried and can take them as tea)). In this book Eating for Beauty, David Wolfe shares TREMENDOUS information on what foods to eat to transform yourself from the inside out.

-Use olive oil. The best you can get: ICE PRESSED. This is serious business. A quality Olive Oil in your life, ingested and smeared on you regularly can up your youth & happiness quotient tremendously. The olive oil I love most is Rallis Olive Oil.

-Drink this morning lemonade: freshly squeezed lemon, 1 tsp msm crystals, pinch sea salt, drop of honey. Blend in some fresh aloe if it's available. It’s a great way to start off the morning.

-Add fresh aloe to your (taste appropriate) smoothies as often as you can.

-Avoid cooked fats & oils, baked goods, processed foods. Eating something like caramel – which is basically sugars & fats cooked at high heat - is a recipe for premature aging. EW. Don’t do it. The technical term is Advanced Glycation End Products. There is NOTHING sexy about it.

Now geez, that kinda takes the fun out of life. But at the end of the day, we have to remember that it’s the cumulative effects that will really take us out, and also remember that there are SO MANY delicious options out there that won’t fast track the very opposite of what we’re going for that we may as well make the best choices always.

-Use schizandra berry crystals or drops (add these to your teas, smoothies) daily & add pearl products to your supplement regime. These have been used in China for thousands of years for their skin youthening properties.

-Do a cleanse. Even a short cleanse will help clean out the hatch. When your body is cleaner it runs more efficiently, and actually doesn’t want to ingest shitty foods. It’s true that when your body is cleaner it can’t tolerate junk food as well anymore. Suddenly crappy foods are easily relegated to the “sometimes foods” category….perhaps even the never category. This makes it easy to eat, feel and LOOK better. Be smart about it. Choose a time when you can lay low for a couple weeks. Shop around, get informed and even consult with a health care practitioner. It’s way easier to do a cleanse when you have professional support.

-Commit to drinking better water (spring water in glass or self harvested if possible) most of the time (95+%). This makes such a profound difference; you can only experience it to really understand what the fuss is about.

Besides ingesting a bunch of health foods, & designer supplements & superherbs and avoiding crappy foods, etc, there are other practices you can incorporate into your ‘beauty regime’, including skin care, exercises & attitude... Remember, it's all about the compound effect of our habits & practices. Stay tuned for part two.

Pictured above: A raw, unairbrushed self portrait of a 33 yr old aspiring beauty queen.

act out your life

2012-01-09T21:17:00.005-07:00

Here's a thought: I'm going to write out a script for myself, for my life - the most fantastical, beautiful, fun script I could possibly conceive, and then act it out.

Sitting next to the world's cheesiest bar in the centre of Winnipeg, a friend was talking about writing a script for his big project, his vision: "Nothing's going to happen unless I script it out".

And the gong of my mind went off. Of course. The script takes getting clear to the next level. It facilitates the action steps that activate the manifestation process.

I feel like writing out a script can take the pressure off too: Suddenly I know what to do! I just act out my part in the script and see what happens.

Granted my life script will have to be revisited periodically for rewriting because I can't predict exactly how my life play will be acted out. That's the exciting part.

As Napoleon Hill said: "Reduce your plan to writing...The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire". Sounds like fun to me.

So my next piece of writing after I finish with this post shall be titled: 2012. The Year of Krystyna. It's a working title. I'll jazz it up at some point.

And in that writing I share share the fantastic blossoming that will take place. Just watch the transformation; be a part if it. Write your own script and join the fun.

Look at how much fun Hollywood is having with all those scripts and stories being turned into fully expressed productions. I want to be a part of that magic, and I'm going to start with my own personal 'movie'.

And the Golden Globe goes to.....

pictured above: some principles I'll work into my script. I know. I'm so deep.

she said, he heard.

2011-12-13T21:31:00.007-07:00

George Bernard Shaw non-chalantly quoted some time ago, that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

I recently experienced a full on communication breakdown with my laptop taking a "break" from being usable. This little shake up made me much more sensitive to communication processes, since I had to change up the way I worked and communicated with people in a big way...

That, and a friend of mine quoted GBS when I was teaching him how to use his zapper and he still didn't get it. Why? I had assumed he had some idea of how to use it....but he didn't know at all. This would certainly change my instruction.

Assumption can KILL a seemingly well thought out articulation.

Am I truly, CLEARLY communicating what I think I'm saying? Can I find the "illusions" and efficiently fill in the gaps where information is missing?

Yesterday, a group of friends got together to attend a discussion/performance/book signing for our friend Justin Bua's latest book The Legends of Hip Hop.

Part of our posse arrived early to save some primo seats. In my communique's with the outside parties yet to arrive, I mentioned that we were in the 5th row on the right side. The others showed up, but didn't take their seats. Later it was revealed that when they saw the jackets on the empty seats in the 5th row they assumed they were taken.

The information missing from my texts was: we've saved seats for you -they'll have jackets on them. Again with the assumption. Geez.

It's amazing how such a seemingly small detail could totally alter an evening. Instead of having our the rest of our posse right next to us, they were somewhere in the back. Sure everyone had a great time....but they evening was altered.

Another miscommunique. Again, I thought I had said what I needed to...but alas, critical details were omitted. And frankly, both times the details were very simple. I guess when I assume I really do make an ASS out of U & ME. Oh god. I actually just wrote that down and didn't delete it.

It makes we wonder what other things aren't being properly communicated - simple things that could make all the difference.

Breakin' it down: simple & straight forward, no assuming. It's the best way to let people know what the fuck is going on.

pictured above: Darrel (RUN DMC) and Justin Bua rap about hip hop at the LACMA

damn you, mercury

2011-12-08T21:35:00.004-07:00

When mercury is in retrograde, the suck factor can rise pretty quickly. One minute I'm trucking along having the best day ever, the next minute I get cold cocked in the face unexpectedly by some trivial misunderstanding.

The thing about Mercury that people who don't give shit about astrology might not understand, is that the transit of this planet has a long felt historical pattern of behavior when it's in its "retrograde" position.

This pattern is basically expressed through VERY POOR COMMUNICATION. Emails might not get sent, texts not received, whispers not heard, etc.

While this seems quite simple....poor communication is the root of so many problems that really mercury in retrograde can really fuck things up if I'm not extra diligent with my interchanges...and I'm just one part of the dialogue. The others are affected to whether they're aware of it or not.

And even when I'm extra attentive I notice that things can get hairy anyway. This is when a "good attitude" comes to play.

I suppose the best attitude is to consider the three times of year when mercury IS in retrograde as superhero training. I'll work extra diligently to keep all discourses on the up & up...so that when it's finally over I'll have sharper communication skills when things flow through the channels more easily.

Yes, that sounds nice.

rich rich rich

2011-11-16T18:10:00.006-07:00

Through death, I’ve learned how deep the vein of my life’s abundance runs. The eulogies and life celebrations of loved ones color the tapestry of my life and help to illuminate how rich I really am.

This wealth is less about the balance in my bank account, and more about the profound gratitude that I can actually feel expand my heart. Holy shit, I can’t believe how beautiful his life was. And he was a part of my life. And I was a part of his.

My Dido (grandfather) passed away two weeks today. This man who helped raise me, who was there at pinnacle and mundane moments alike, who drove me to my soccer games and delivered homemade hot soup right to our door has checked out. Sad.

I haven’t experienced the mourning process of someone close to me since I was teenaged and my grandma passed. Now older & wiser I hardly feel more equipped to handle this death. The discomfort of impermanence is a lot to swallow.

The pain I feel is a simultaneous twisting of that intense heart expansion I mentioned and the sad emptiness that comes when someone great is gone.

However, with my years I’ve cultivated a perspective that allows death to show me not only how alive I really am, but also how much abundance is infused into my current human experience.

This feels like real wealth. Being at a funeral surrounded by the many family & friends who came to pay their respects and say goodbye; hearing the stories of how this man thrived through adversity, turning a life shaped by war into a life shaped by peace; recognizing that a man who died illiterate was still able to create a beautiful, prosperous life for his family. ETC. My God. What a role model.

Yeah, sure, it's super to be balls rich, sailing the seas on a private yacht or luxury jet-setting with my man bitches. And I’m sure that experience is available to me. But somehow that feels so superficial to the gratitude I feel for having the pleasure of knowing this great man I called Dido.

This song is dedicated to my grandfather.

above: old school. grandparents & grandchildren

look, lady: just fricken do it.

2011-10-31T18:02:00.008-06:00

I often have interventions with myself. I'll be trucking along having fun and suddenly I'll cut myself off from the flow with limiting self talk & actions.

"I'll do it later", or "next time", "maybe when I'm better at it", or I'll go for a nap. Classic.

HERE is a classic situation where I actually thought: I'll do it next time. Not in that epic moment where I was primed to do it....but at some uncertain time in the future. Assuming that a perfect opportunity would present itself again AND I felt the desire to do it. What the hell?

Anyway...from time to time I have to remind myself that the MOMENT is NOW. If not NOW, then when?

Really, I feel like I can handle anything. It's mostly about having the confidence in myself to follow through, or just give'er. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get over myself and exude that confidence every moment - to the best of my ability.

In fairness to myself, I am getting better.

But what about lapses in confidence that disrupt my flow and stop me in my tracks? What is it that needles my confidence so tauntingly? Fear. (lame). And feeling unworthy. (also lame).

What am I so afraid of anyway? Having fun? Having the best time ever? Experiencing life to the fullest? Seriously. What is my problem over here?

In her book Fierce Medicine, Ana T. Forrest speaks of stalking your fear. Just turning around, staring whatever it is that I'm shitting my pants about right in the face and saying "fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway", etc.

And of course, as expected, what was scary never is as 'scary' as it seems.

In this space & time, it's important to not waste space or time. We must seize the moment and get 'er dun.

There really is no time for me (or anyone else for that matter) to indulge in low-self-esteemy ways of being.

There's just too much work to do on this planet.

pictured above: me after I performed Black Bird (Beatles) in front of an audience in LA. turns out, I like singing in front of a crowd dressed like a fashion victim.

tastebud ticklers

2011-10-30T22:37:00.008-06:00

Every once and while I'll eat something that is so delicious it's a mind fuck. What? How does this taste so good? It's ridiculous!

This happened a few weeks ago when I was swirling between California and Arizona. A lovely lady named Christina brought Avocado a gift of fresh Barhi dates.

I had heard of Barhi dates before; my friend Heidy got really excited about them when they were fresh in season and available on the internet for a slight investment. Yes, yes. Medjool's, etc are good and all....but compared to Barhi's they simply are shrivelled fruits.

And really - look at these things? Do they look like they would melt your heart with their tastiness?

Frankly I didn't get it. I mean, I like dates and all....but I truly did not understand my friends enthusiasm.

Until now.

Caramely & delicious, these dates made me go to my special place each time I had a chance to enjoy them.

It blows my mind sometimes how nature creates these foods that are so epically delicious just by themselves. Damn she is amazing. Enter slow clap here.

My point: I recommend tasting what I feel that candy makers have only tried to imitate. Nature's true caramel. Open yourself to the experience of a fresh Barhi date. Dang. You won't regret it.

flying high

2011-10-22T17:14:00.005-06:00

I've adopted quite a few habits to keep myself healthy despite all the flying I do.

I'll wear a Schumann Resonance device like a zapper to help keep me grounded while I'm flying. I'll fly at night whenever possible to avoid the high radiation that daytime flying brings. I'll take MegaHydrate - a potent antioxidant - to keep myself hydrated and again protected from the avian elements. Further, vials of Quintessential give me a mineral intense moisture. So appreciated way up there.

My biggest challenge is water. Since I've committed to not drinking plastic water, this means that I do go thirsty sometime - particularly when I'm on a plane.

This can be challenging, because dang I get thirsty when I fly. But I know that really, anything I could consume that's provided by the plane really won't put me ahead on a hydration level.

Demineralized, reverse osmosis tap water? What the heck is that really going to do for me? Strip my body of all the good things I work so hard to put in? That's what I thought. I'm more likely adding to my toxicity level and I'm also contributing to our waste problem.

It'd be one thing if the drinks they poured on the plane were in reusable cups, but they are not.

I probably average 4 flight segments per month. If I use just one plastic cup per flight, that's 48 plastic cups per year that are used and trashed - assuming I'm on a short haul flight. This is JUST ME! Nevermind all the other people on the plane, and all the other planes & flights. And of course the water that I could drink comes from a plastic bottle - more plastic! These bottles may be recycled after they're emptied, but I don't know for sure.

And further, the water (or other beverage of choice) that comes in these bottles are loaded with xeno-estrogens and other hormone mimicking chemicals that don't do the body good.

It seems like one small thing I can do for myself & for the Mother - who selflessly gives to me each and every day. A little water fast never hurt anyone....and when I do get to my destination I find the best make it a priority to hydrate with a liquid of considerable quality: fresh spring water harvested from the source is the best, or purchased spring water in glass. Coconut water is great too, either from a young coconut or in glass or in a tetra pack.

Those liquids are truly hydrating, and fully worth the wait.

you are important. and I am too.

2011-09-27T23:32:00.008-06:00

It's important to remember that just because someone has more money or less money, more experience or less experience, more friends or fewer friends, more notches on their bed post or less that everyone is of the same importance and value in the eyes of God.

Now I can see people getting squeamish at my mention of God, but really fill in the blank of whatever you believe in - Source, the Universe, Allah, False Idols, whatever.

If you don't believe in anything....sorry, I can't help you.

The point is that this air of "I'm better than you" that our human race seems to thrive on is a sickness that holds us back as a collective. We boost ourselves up by putting or pushing others down and in doing so we impede ourselves from evolving as a whole.

Celebrity culture and the workplace pyramids and class differences can breed a shortfall of neighbourly respect. How about I honour your existence?

Sure, this guy might be more intelligent than that guy; but that doesn't make this guy better than that guy. It just makes him smarter. An important distinction.

If we were a collective of awakened, conscious people we'd treat all those we come in contact with reverence.

Acknowledging a beggar can a more meaningful experience for both parties than giving him money. Eye contact and a smile or a couple of quarters? I see you is worth more.

And the billionaire next door? I see him too. Hello friend, way to be.

Imagine if we all took the time to look at people in our lives. Really see them. We would see that we are the same.

As Rumi says: We are the mirror, and the face in it.

I know I have my elitist moments. I am aware of them. "I am better than you" is an exhausting attitude, and ultimately fruitless. Creating separateness doesn't feel good.

We're all in this together.

When I'm opening and accepting of all people - keeping my judgements on the back-burner - the magic of life turns on and good things flow to me. Everyone's a winner, including me.

the cairns are calling

2011-09-12T18:43:00.008-06:00

When I was younger out hiking in the mountains, I always appreciated the cairns along the path. They were confusing at first (are people that bored that they need to build a pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere?). But then I got it.

They were objects of natural beauty, and a sign of human interaction with the landscape.

I loved the simplicity of them. A creative, strategic use of stone to show people the way. Ah, a cairn. We're on the right path.

Currently I spend a lot of time with someone who I'll dub The Cairn Master. He's built what seems hundreds of these miniliths in the forest of his property, each with its own character.

It's interesting being witness to the process. As the Cairn Master works, I hear stone grind on stone, watching the union of the rock together as they lock into place. The stones come to a marriage where they fit perfectly together and will balance there through thick & thin.

It take patience and strength to find that set point of balance. And it always comes, even with seemingly impossibly shaped stones.

When building a cairn a thought to consider: if a small animal brushes by this or a gust of wind blows while it is near the formation, will it be hurt or crushed by a tumbling cairn, or will the cairn hold it's ground? It's good to walk away with the confidence it won't easily budge.

The turn of seasons is the ultimate test for a well built cairn.

Here's a fun fact: When rocks like quartz are put under pressure, like being set between other stones in a cairn, and frequency is emitted - much like the crystals in the dial of a radio or a watch work. In this case, there is a constant pressure.

Thus, besides being a rustic art installation along the paths of many journeys, cairns naturally put out a frequency that would otherwise not be there. What or who is in resonance with this frequency? What is this frequency saying?

Regardless of the lore of cairns, they are a universal symbol of consciousness.

We were here. In a blink of time, the cairn marks a presence.

It's an honouring of passersby of past, present & future who notice... & know.

master of my own domain

2011-08-22T21:55:00.010-06:00

At times, I find myself overviewing a just-lived scenario that could have gone better. I generally figure out the perfect thing I could have said. By perfect i mean a response that I would have been satisfied with - knowing in that moment all of my values & beliefs and heart were expressed in that oral or action transaction.

Sometimes a conversation or scenario doesn't go my way, but somehow it's absolutely perfect.

This is common, actually. I wanted the falafel, I got the avocado salad, and turns out, I LOVE the avocado salad. Falafel what?

When it's more in the "this feels really shitty, and I'm still getting a grip on why this fucking blows so much", though, it sucks.

Oh what to do? How to be? Do I get angry? Do I accept it all? Where's the perfection of it all? Is it time to bust out the "Silent Treatment"?

A silent protest. FYI: This doesn't jive with me.

How would an enlightened person handle this situation? Oh wait - let me guess. Enlightened people wouldn't have this situation come up in the first place.

Typical.

Looks how easy it is to be sarcastic in a situation like this.

I wonder if negotiation mastery, killer wit, well timed comebacks and epic retorts have a large connection to a persons ability to fully speak or express their truth in every moment. espresso.

Because gosh darn geez I would LOVE to be there.

Don't stop the party.

Look at how much fun the black eyed peas have. YAY! I'll have a serving of that.

the new monogamy

2011-08-16T14:46:00.005-06:00

monogamy is one of those words that has a charge. perhaps it might invoke feelings of boredom, or "long term" or limited choice.

looking up the definition of monogamy on dictionary.com does turn on the gag meter slightly. It just seems so old hat, just like that expression.

The actual marriage part of monogamy aside, there are parts I am attracted to. Less about "until death do us part", the idea of being fully present with someone in a given moment has a monogamous vibe to it.

This monogamousness can apply to both romantic & non-romantic relationships.

We invite monogamous moments into our life, particularly when we're with someone special. And by special I mean holy. Less a long term commitment, and more showing respect & reverence for the person we're with at that time. Hey, I like you. I'm going to honour you while we're sharing a space together.

It's so simple. And it makes everyone involved feel so good!

Instead of slutting around texting other people while I'm in conversation with someone, for example, I'm giving them my full attention.

This is a challenge - being present for someone in the midst of cyber interruptions, and other temptations. This is what makes the concept of monogamy of the moment (as I like to call it) that much more special.

Sure at some point I'll have to turn my attention to others. After all the only sure thing in life is change.

But in the moment we're respectfully sharing it together whole heartedly.

The new monogamy is about loving the one you're with and giving them your full attention, even if it's just for a weekend.

spell it out & pay attention

2011-08-12T00:32:00.007-06:00

I get many internal messages to write more. And of course the ambitious part of me thinks - yes! A book! It is my dharma to write a book!

It very well is. However, it's more about processing my life. writing it out to see what I'm really thinking about, and more - feeling. I can evaluate what's floating in my head one "unit" at a time, like looking at balloons floating around the room.

The space of the air in between the balloons is all I need to distinguish what is up in the world of me.

My fast paced life has enabled me to value my personal time to a greater degree. I have to make much more of my private moments than I might have previously.

Carpe diem, relish in my solitude when it presents itself - and get the stuff I need to do that is so vital for me done. The things I do when I have some space include meditating, yoga, hiking in the forest, reading, thinking and writing. This is what needs to happen behind the scenes for all the "showtime" moments to really shine.

For me to be my best, my calmest, my strongest, my sharpest, my slyest, my sweetest, my neatest, my most graceful - socially and physically - these are the tools I use to be there.

When these are neglected....I've noticed that the bumps are a little bumpier, and vivid colors aren't as bright.

All these valuable tools, with one in particular that I could use more.

Writing has always yielded me profound tangible results - answers that i can refer to later. A reference point.

This is perfect because I've realized that when I just let my mind flow through my fingers and let them dump into an empty word doc the realizations flow too.

The most important reference point of all flows through: gratitude. Free flow writing allows me to tune into what I'm grateful for.

It also points to perceived deficiencies. Questions like: "do I feel supported by __ at this moment?" might fall into this category.

Word processing. Literally.

It's time spent efficiently, which seems quite important right now. Yes, stop & smell the roses. Of course, always. But keep on keeping on. We can't just hang out and smell roses all day. There is a lot of work to do in this world right now. We must pay attention.

Write it out. Know what I'm feeling. Use it to propel me forward.

It's a recipe.

shown above - Andy Warhol's Silver Clouds installation at the AGA.

cycles

2011-07-29T18:48:00.012-06:00

When I was a kid, I remember my grandma would take us to the local spring to fetch some delicious ice cold water on a hot summer day. I remember loving to do that for a number of reasons. First, I'm adventurous, so my spirit was enthused. Second, we were likely driving from somewhere "far" and kids loves breaks when it comes to long car rides. But mainly it's probably because the water in Myrnam, Alberta tasted so shitty to me, that drinking that water was like drinking from the goblet of God himself. Refreshingly tasty!

Who knew then, that my grandma was oh so naturally showing me what would become a way of life for me two decades later. She knew! Interestingly too, she was staunchly against the casual use of pharmaceuticals. I know whenever we got headaches and asked for Tylenol she told us to go for a nap. The wisest of advise! As I recall - she did take me to see the doctor when I bumped into a wasps nest and things got a little puffy & dizzy & panicky. Acute: doctor. Non-acute: nap.

Here's a pic of a pic of the spring water crew, back in the 80's (that's me in the middle):

The other day my dad and I went to collect spring water at a nearby spring he tracked down. It was a fun dad/daughter event, and an homage to my grandma. Somehow I feel she'd be stoked to see what has come of her eldest granddaughter. Represent. I'm not into baking, and I knitting never was my forte. I would attend stitch n bitches back in my mid twenties and mostly bitch. In two years I worked on the same toque (still unfinished) and a scarf that could have it's own comedy show, that's how funny it looked in the end. I still wore it. My whimsical ways allow for such fashion decisions. Dang, though. I can collect spring water like nobodies business.

And finally, it's been great getting back in my parents' & grand-parents' yards and seeing them with fresher eyes. Now when I look at plants I see the medicinal potential. Picking raspberries at my Baba's place in the sunshine is way fun....and fresh raspberries off the bush - yummy & good for you. Pick the leaves & make iced tea. I'm also drying them to add to an ethereally delicious smoke blend I'm working on. I'll let you decide what that means.

Check out my favorite cotton top (aka: Baba)!

I love the family traditions that are re-emerging. They make sense to me, and geez, considering the shitstorms that are circulating on this planet currently, that is refreshingly tasty.

family dinner

2011-07-11T13:35:00.006-06:00

Earlier in the year, I was walking through our yard in Kauai with my friend Nathalien Mangostein. He was giving me the guided tour, which mainly consisted of him sharing the names of the fruit trees, shrubs, flowers, herbs, nuts, vines, etc that are growing around the property and what they can be used for - be it practically, medicinally or otherwise. Naturally, we nibbled each plant we came in contact with (if it was edible, of course) - a tasty tropical gastronomic tour.

At one point we were near one of the many noni trees dotted around the yard when Nathalien stopped to pick up a freshly fallen, perfectly ripened fruit.

"Let's enjoy this in the aura of the tree", he said as he bit into the fruit, and then passed it to me to try.

Standing there next to the noni tree, enjoying it's stinky fruit, feeling the gratitude, admiring the surrounding beauty - we were in union with that tree & the fruit we were eating. Even the neighbouring trees & other plants surrounding us are a part of this exchange. These sentient beings were enjoying our presence as much as we were enjoying theirs.

Research, such as the polygraph testing done by Dr. Cleve Backster found in the book The Secret Life of Plants has shown that plants are conscious beings that not only feel, but can read your mind as well.

Now that is a whole new level of magic to tune into.

It's a dinner party unlike any other. And it makes the action of praying over the food we eat that much more important. The plants know we're going to eat them before we even take a bite.

According the Backster's study's....the plants respond completely differently if thanking they're are thanked before the cooking or chowing down begins. It's really fascinating research - aka RECOMMENDED READING. The Secret Life of Plants will blow your mind.

It blows my mind how many amazing things have eluded me until now. Just think about how your life might change if you considered that your houseplants actually KNOW you.

a good day

2011-06-30T23:58:00.010-06:00

A good day for me can consist of sleeping the day away, but waking up and going for a hike to the top of a local hill to soak in the rays of the sunset.

Something in that one action makes the rest of my seemingly low productivity day jump into the best day ever catogory. Sure I slept through the hot sunshine and the "key work hours" that everyone else seems to keep, but I did I have lucid dreams and restful sleep. Definitely worth it.

After I awake I exercise my body and finally ingest of the most nourishing food a human can take in: the lightrays of the sun just as it's setting. The sun pours forth from the horizon like honey, and I tilt my head back and drink it in. Bonus - it's easy on the digestive tract. I know. Bad joke.

There is such amazing magic in sungazing that it's simply better to experience it than talk about it. Barefoot against the earth, staring at the horizon just as the sun goes down makes it easy on the retina's and powerful for the soul. Barefoot (grounded) and sunrise/sunset timing is of crucial importance.

Can you say cosmic downloads?

After, i continue on my hike and notice all the beauty that surrounds me, hear all the animals rustling in the bush and enjoy my quietude. Alone, I feel like I'm surrounded by friends.

It's time well spent. In these moments I say to the universe: I love & respect my life. I have reverence for my time on this planet - even through a day of rest I let this be known. I cherish my body and my senses. I'm grateful for all that surrounds me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Here's a suggestion to my fellow earthly neighbours: When a day doesn't seem as productive as you'd like just go for a hike - even if it's around the block of an industrial area. Trust me, I've been there.

There is still nature intermixed with the concrete jungle. Find the beauty, feel the gratitude and turn a day into a good one, or even the best one yet.

self study

2011-06-27T20:19:00.007-06:00

from time to time i'll take a self portrait of myself. I like observing myself and gauging how much I like myself in that photo in that moment.

What do I really look like? How do people perceive me? Can I figure this out simply by looking at myself. I'm curious.

Away from my family and friends, I don't have that intimate feedback loop coming back towards me. Maybe this is a good thing, but I still like knowing. or at least guessing.

The other day i asked a new friend if he thought I was brash. He mentioned that he thought I was direct and that some people could perceive that as brash, but he liked it. I guess it's all about which side of the fine line I land on.

And too - so what if I am brash? Perhaps a little brashness is necessary in this day in age - particularly my specific brand of it.

Does my bed head rock the house or should I brush my hair and work another angle?

Does my inner being match the face I feel should be on the outside? Am I presenting the best me i can be? After all, judgement can keep doors closed.

I would like to be in a place where people are naturally open and attracted to me and my way of being.

It's an exercise of self love, because sometimes I can be so hard myself. A picture that I don't like in a moment might be perfectly fine a few days later. Or vice versa.

Often I'm surprised. I might feel like shit and take a picture and wow myself. Or I might feel top of the world, take a picture and realized I look remarkably like I do when I haven't slept for a couple of days.

And often there are no surprises. I look exactly as I thought I might.

And then I move on to something else.

so....uncivilized?

2011-05-29T13:33:00.007-06:00

The way we deal with our shit says a lot about our society. With all it's modern conveniences the 'west' has deemed itself civilized, but when we look at something as primal as taking a dump and how we deal with it - we really see how civilized we truly are. Looks like the loin cloth wearing pigmies of Africa might have one up on us.

Would a civilized society flush their poop back into the water they end up drinking? haha, of course they wouldn't that's just ludicrous. Oh wait. That's what we do.

After a visit to The Hostel in the Forest, and having a taste for some sustainable living - it became clear that the proper CONSCIOUS disposal of our poop can have a profound affect on the cleanliness of our environment.

If we're aware of not flushing poop with clean water down the toilet to become part of the sewage system, we are probably aware of not tossing other unfavorable things into the water simply because it's comvenient. My utopian self would like to think that we'd behave this way.

The Hostel in the Forest was great just for this solitary observation - proper shit disposal - ....because at the end of the day it was a little too "hippie" for my tastes - the people here talk a little too slow and they didn't have wifi there. I do recommend visiting if you have a chance. It's quite an idyllic little place, and it's cool that someone actually brought this from concept to reality.

Note: Internet access is important to me because it's a portal to my means. To stay at the hostel for an extended period wasn't sustainable for me. I could enjoy natures splendour - know that my crap would nourish the land at some point, and help maintain the land - pitching in with the various tasks & initiatives necessary to keep the hostel thriving - but alas it wasn't set up for me to keep taking action (via the internet) - which I feel is part of our current evolution.

It's cool to work the land, but also cool & important to connect with others via the web.

Sure it's great to unplug. But it's also great to plug in and make things happen.

Anyway....back to flushing, i guess.

I love you, knee

2011-05-25T16:24:00.006-06:00

Getting double bounced on the trampoline has the cheap thrill factor, unless there's a weak point in the anterior cruciate ligament from a previous injury. Dag. That can slow down life in the fast lane in a hurry.

This reinjury, however has been an interesting point of reflection - despite the level of pain I felt, I've also enjoyed a relatively speedy recovery. This I feel is due to many things:

1) immediate attention from a skilled medical professional.

2) serious & devoted r.i.c.e (rest, ice, compress, elevate) attention.

3) using all the lotions, potions & anti-inflamatory 'meds' in my arsenal in a dedicated, acute fashion.

4) having a better state of mind (a strong, cellular level healing belief system), & more love for myself than when I originally injured my knee several years ago.

Back then, I wasn't the happiest kitty in the litter box. I did all of the above things....but that forth one was missing and it seemed like it took FOREVER for me to get my knee back to normal functioning.

It took so long that I didn't even fully appreciate how injury free I was until I was hobbling on the ground after I got off the trampoline. Geez. What a moment that was.

These days I am much more content - I love myself and wish for myself the best in life - including a radiant, healthy functional body. And I know I deserve it.

Perhaps that sounds like the bullet train to fromage-ville, but I'm convinced by my speedy recovery theory. And the pro that I was working with this time encouraged me to reflect about the energetic message this knee injury was sending me while he was manually manipulating my knee and body back into a less traumatized state.

Energy medicine is a powerful component of healing. Intergrated medicine is where it's at for speedy recovery. Mind training is is the medicine of the future.

pictured above: me and my beautiful knees, crouching to feed a roo in Oz.

Curb your Consumerism

2011-04-27T21:19:00.011-06:00

It's an interesting phenomenon going shopping cash in hand, surrounded by beautiful things but also the knowingness that there really is no point in purchasing any item unless it's absolutely perfect - because I'll have to physically carry it with me in my suitcase until i wear it out or give it away. It's easy to say NO since this is the case.

I've said NO so so many sweet articles of clothing, jewellry & boots - oh the beautiful boots. Sandals too. Sigh.

The other day I was walking down Queen Street West in Toronto, going into the various shops....and I had this moment of satisfaction as I was walking through Lavish & Squalor. They had many lovely articles of clothing there, and in fact their second floor reminded me of the Rag & Bone store in Soho. (aka AWESOME). If you haven't been...just go.

It had been a great day of shopping - mostly just looking at what's "in", and I just realized that we've come a long way in terms of fashion. Today, a pair of casual pants in a regular store in a touristy area tickles the senses in a way that was unimaginable just ten years ago. Interesting is IN. This is good news.

The second realization I had, was that wouldn't it be amazing if we as humans developed our emotional intelligence as fast as we developed our fashion intelligence? Great style is available to EVERYONE now. It's there for you and me. We can easily acquire and wear it. Emotional awareness, however, that's another story.

I watched Sharkwater the other evening, and let me tell you - the humans who were featured in this movie cutting off the fins of sharks and then tossing the live sharks back into the water to suffocate & drown are definitely NOT showcasing the pinnacle of human development.

I'm embarrassed on behalf of the human race. Imagine if we'd put as much energy into the care & reverence of our animal friends (and fellow human beings for that matter) as we do with our material adornment.

Imagine if we were that emotionally developed that it was a casual thing - expected. A non-issue. Just like walking down QSW and having my fashion senses tickled. I would just look around at some random point in my life and marvel how wonderful we are.

WOW. If that were the case, if I were from another one I think I'd like to visit this planet.

i just want to be pretty

2011-04-19T22:45:00.008-06:00

I invest a lot of money into my looks. In fact, I could even say I've embraced a career that not only funds this pattern of investment, but fuels it as well.

Of course the things I do are of the natural realm - unless I'm sporting some lycra blended leggings etc. In other words, I'm not into cutting my face and pulling it back, nipping and tucking, using pills or crazy $400 designer creams etc in the name of 'beautifying'. I'm not spending crazy amounts of money on the latest designer trends either.

And the beauty I'm aiming for is more than just a pretty face. Zits aside, being able to hold an interesting conversation or be inspiring to others or feel profound wellness in my body is also part of 'good looks' I aspire for myself.

What I eat, the company I keep, the air I breath, the water I drink, the thoughts I think, the clothes I wear, the movements I make, the face & body products I use - all contribute to what I consider as my beauty regime.

Dangit though I feel a tad miffed at the cooked actions of my earthly cohorts when I consider the whole Fukashima Nuclear Plant accident. This event could have be far less severe and damaging if short term visions hadn't reigned supreme during the construction and maintenance of the plant.

Not only are the poor people of Japan working to recover from devastating earthquakes, Tsunami waves, and nuclear radiation poisoning....on the otherside of the world we too have to consider how this nuclear fallout activity might affect us, including my efforts to look beautiful.

In addition to all the things i'm currently doing to look my best, I now must add an anti-radiation routine to maintain what I'm already doing.

(Click HERE if you want to get the lowdown)

Like seriously! I'm already doing so much for myself....and even that must now be added to keep my health (aka beauty) in check.

I'm not allowing my 'youth-ening' efforts be derailed by rain seasoned with radiation, for example. BOOO. Rain is meant to be danced in, not avoided because it's worse than a cleanser with parabens.

Anyway, I'm going to say a prayer for all the silly men that sit behind closed doors making dumb-ass decisions. Trust me, they're gonna need it.

get over yourself (smiley wink!)

2011-04-12T01:54:00.005-06:00

Is it "High Vibe" if you have to say it? I have said this before....and I'll say it again: just cuz your clothes have bells on them and you smell like incense does not necessarily mean you're spiritual.

I find that often spiritual types are more concerned with their wardrobes and "medicines" and communities, but forget about simple things like taking care of their necessities, being considerate of others (aka good manners), and taking action (which might just tie in with my first point).

Back to work, hippie, etc.

I'll just post this video and let that do the talking for me.

The sickest buddhist