No Jokes Today? | Valuable Information For Your Everyday Life

Is Katy Perry Islamophobic Or Has She Converted To Islam?

2015-05-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

Is Katy Perry really Islamophobic? She would like to convert to Islam, instead but she might think hundred times. Why? What a joke! She's busy thinking of it as confusing; you know she has often come under fire for appropriating (and mocking) other cultures with her costumes and stage designs on tour. But her latest outfit is causing controversy for a different reason.

At a concert in Taipei, the singer appeared to show political support for Taiwan's full independence by draping the national flag of the Republic of China (Taiwan's flag) over her shoulders during a song, which one fan in attendance captured on Instagram. That didn't show she is Islamophobic. If there's even a rumor of her converting to Islam, people will surely wait to see her being veiled over in hijab, dressed mostly in black and that's not funny if she's singing and dancing weearing it. Is it a weird joke?

Okay, what happened in Taipei has nothing to do with why Katy Perry becoming so Islamophobic. What people can see is that An “Allah” symbol has been scrubbed out of the YouTube version of Katy Perry’s Dark Horse music video. The symbol, representing the Arabic word for God, was on the necklace of a man whom she destroys by turning him into a shimmering pile of red sand. (Long story short: Perry portrays a souped-up version of Cleopatra whose ancient Egyptian charms turn men to dust, and cause a lot of tightly choreographed dancing among her cat-headed guards.) So rumor that Katy Perry has converted to Islam is therefore absurd.

Will Katy Perry convert to Islam following those Hispanic Woman in the USA? Latinos are one of the fastest growing groups in the Muslim religion. The PewResearch Center says about six percent of American Muslims are Latino. And women make up a little more than half of the new converts -- the people who have changed their religion to Islam. Wow, this article really leads to Islamophobic for the Islam hater.

But remember, we're not talking about or starting a conflict here. It's a blog about joke and no joke. We can also include here: Christianity Hinduism, Buddhism or Sikh and so on, including atheism. You know, there is no single ideology that all atheists share, nor are there any institutionalized rituals or behaviors. There are certain individuals whose religious or spiritual beliefs some might describe as atheistic, though those holding such beliefs do not normally describe themselves as atheists.

However, we're not going to talk further about it. Is about Katy's Islamophobic phenomenon which may lead her to become a devout Muslim later as what happened to many haters. Well, anyway, no jokes today!

Is It A Marriage Proposal? What A Joke!

2015-05-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

What's so funny? Got bored browsing and want to listen to a joke about marriage proposal? Here it is:

The right guy is here. Be it simple doodle, cartoon style or complicated, neater or colorful, it won't take me long to complete it. And all is original hand drawn work. And I am sure your daughter will be happy to marry me. My proposal is genuine and nothing is the same. When it comes to marriage, there should be unique, right? There's nothing like a joke of a loser who doesn't know what to do to win someone's attention.

Don't worry, your daughter will have no mustache

I am a whiteboard animation artist from Manila, the Philippines who likes drawing. I have been doing so since I was little. I can draw any kinds of style related to this scribing presentation.Unfortunately my first client here cancelled the project soon after he initiated the contract even before I started the whole things.It's really disappointed. And now I'm offering you this marriage proposal in order to show you that I care much about your daughter.

What I can offer you for my 5-star feedback to-be are among other things. You hate to laugh at this funny joke, don't you. It is not funny, it's not a joke!

1. Original hand drawn work, would be more professional and natural, none of the like when you search on YouTube, especially compared to those using software like Sparkol or goanimate

2. Storbyboarding, starting from a sketch, page by page suggestions and followed by outlines and revisions before putting into a frame by frame work. We will discuss about it in detail for a better result. But sir please read my marriage proposal very carefully, because I wrote it the whole night.

3. B/W or few colors added if necessary, RSA style or Ydraw, the latter I believe to be the best in the world

4. Reasonable rate. For a good quality work you don't have to pay me even until more than $150 for a one-minute video

5. Quick turnaround with unlimited revisions. It takes around a week for at least a 3-minute video depending on how many frames it will take. I can say the longest time would be around 10 days.

So far I've won some projects here in Manila which satisfied my clients. Among other things are Transmigration Developing Program, Personal Profile and Insurance Product. Okay, now I think my marriage proposal is done very well, what do you think? Funny or no, please stop farting!

Best regards

No Jokes Today

Weird Joke About Presidential Debate?

2015-05-05T22:08:00.004-07:00

Excuse me, is it really a presidential debate?

Here is one passage when the President of the United States of North Pole opens a debate: "Watch the sun rise over volcanic peaks and the spires of Pura Besakih. From pristine beaches and temples surrounded by jungle, Bali is a land loaded with cultural and natural highlights. " As nobody think it is a joke, the auditorium remains silent.

"What are you talking about? With your accommodation and transport arranged by CEOs, this well-packed adventure offers up the perfect blend of the island’s highlights and free time to get off the beaten path?" Here is the comment of President of the United States of South Pole, the rival. The audience seems to be confused, Is it a joke about presidential debate or tourism promotion? You ask me about it. The people are not on the beach. They are not fishermen nor travelers. They are not in Bali. They are expecting something significant for a country reform.

If I were included here, I would say wake up everyone!

But to everyone's surprise, "Hey, wait guys, here is what you should do, First, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Second, Place chicken in a 9x13 inch baking dish. Mix together the oil, soy sauce, ketchup, honey, garlic, salt and pepper. And third: Pour over the chicken. Bake in preheated oven for one hour, or until sauce is caramelized. If you think it is a joke, as a President to-be I won't be here for silly debate!" The third contestant just said that. The other two coming from the United States of North and South Pole start to laugh. Very funny!

What's so funny about? All these candidates are not hoping to stay in and rule a Kingdom. None is like King Arthur who is a medieval, mythological figure who was the head of the kingdom Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table. No a real Arthur is shown by their figures or faces, though it is believed they may have read a biography about the King. They look like corruptors.

They have nothing to do with King Salman from Arab. Salman was first appointed as deputy governor of Riyadh Province in 1954 when he was 19 year-old and held the post until 1955. While these three politicians were not born yet that year, the information above is quite weird to be quoted here. Besides, none of them care about the development of Riyadh from a mid-sized town into a major urban metropolis. But soon they just realize that a joke about presidential debate must be conducted even if they have woken up yet.

Weird? Well, wash your face everyone!

A Weird Joke About Missing Someone

2015-05-05T21:10:00.001-07:00

What are we talking about here? Do you have to listen to music that showcases how you are feeling when you are missing someone? What a joke! You know, music has not always been the fastest way that you feel connected to your spirit, heart and soul when you are in debt. When people get angry with you, because you don't want to pay back their money. What's all about anyway?

So you love to go for a walk and listen to music? People keep asking you to have their money back. If you’re really deep in your sadness, you might want to create a playlist of songs that remind you of that other person. It's really a weird joke about missing someone. It's not that you have to remember him or her. It's about when you are in sorrow you need to entertain yourself. You need to yell to the world that you are a strong man to hide your truest feeling.

Be careful don't let yourself be in a weird moment. You're not in a mountain. You're not climbing it. It is not the time to understand that snow caves are another way to shelter high on the mountain. It is not to join those climbers who do not use tents at high altitudes unless the snow conditions do not allow for snow caving, It's not a place when you are in terrible bad mood you are trying to forget him or her when you are missing him or her. Someone won't laugh at all at this joke. Since snow caves are silent and much warmer than tents, you need to yell to the sky and spread it to the world: "I'm totally OK!!!!"

OK, dude, please keep in mind:

You're not Robocop, you have heart without putting helmet anytime.
You're not Spider-man, no Marry Jane to beg you to climb a tall building.
You're not Ramboo, Asians get bored you killing them softly with silly gestures.
We're not talking about other stupid things. We're talking about strength! What?!!!

So assess your mental strength. A lot of mountain climbing is about your mental attitude because you will need to make sound, fast judgments about conditions, directions, and safety. For many mountaineers, the mental challenge is a large part of the allure because you are taken completely out of your usual routine of air-conditioned offices and ... Wait, what're we talking about here? Is it a joke about when you are missing someone or do you want to climb a mountain when in a bad mood?

Weird laugh!

Weird Joke About a Man Who knows Everyone?

2015-05-01T21:32:00.001-07:00

I would like to tell you about a strange thing, perhaps like a joke about man who knows everyone. The guy doesn't eat meet, but he isn't an Indian nor Balinese. It's not a story of a tricky reason for making cow a god, it sounds extremely illogical to most of the people in the world, but not for the Hindus. The cow is sacred!

Talking about cows, they are almost as polluting as cars. Cows emit methane which is as dangerous as CO2. Keeping cows alive, who produce bulls to run farms is a much greener solution than having cow farms, but no joke about a man who knows everyone here. Nothing like he makes friend with Sanjay Dutt or Bruce Willis or Arnold Schwarzenegger. So we keep cows in their places far far away from big cities, okay?

A lot of people ask me when I do a stunt, 'Jackie, are you scared?' Of course I'm scared. I'm not Superman. Surely, this one is not a joke about a man who is very popular with his Kungfu fighting, He knows everyone who co-star with him during the film making. You know, it's Jacky Chan, And the above quotation belongs to him.

Sure, that's the point: I am not Superman, that's very funny if you think Jacky Chan is Superman who who knows everyone.Why?

He cannot fly.
He doesn't wear glasses as Clark Kent.
He is not afraid of Kryptonite.
He never wears underwear inside out.

So what kind of joke this man is? He knows Edi, Tony, Sarah, Susy, Tina, William, Mr. Tan, Mr. Wong. He is aware that those men might live in Hongkong, Beijing, the USA or somewhere else. Amazing. Jacky chan has been doing this for rest of his life!

So, it's weird, right? Which part to make you laugh? Which is so amusing? Why can we ask about it and there's no more entertainment here? Well, that's it. That's a joke about man who knows everyone! The thing confusing you!

Are You Serious And Want to Boost Confidence? Then Tell Jokes

2015-03-28T17:16:00.001-07:00

How to be funny? How to turn from serious to funny and how to boost confidence with that? If you are part of serious people who like to build confidence, read on.

Being able to get a small group or even a full room to laugh can help your own confidence and alleviate anxiousness in an unfamiliar setting. Whether your goal is to add some levity to a stressful situation, or just to have a few laughs with your friends, here are a few tips on how to tell a joke.

The more you tell a certain joke, the more you will be able to figure out what is important to tell and what is OK to leave out. Sometimes an added bonus in the reaction to the joke is when the listener figures out you fooled them into thinking it was a real story and laughs even harder.

It is simple common sense that you will not tell an off-color joke to your pastor, or try to get a six-year-old to laugh with a political joke. It is also beneficial if you know enough about someone or a group to change details of a joke to reflect common jargon or ideas of what is funny.

Should serious people tell jokes?

Funny people tend to be liked by everyone, and those who know how to lighten the mood with an appropriate funny joke are welcome in any company. Don't start laughing in the middle of telling your joke, no matter how funny do you find it.

If you’re a serious

Is it a funny way to tell funny jokes?

person to start with, just tell your joke with your regular voice tone and expression, and only laugh when others start laughing. That way, you can be sure they actually laugh with you, not at you.

It may seem superfluous wanting to learn to be funny and tell jokes, but you’re actually improving your personality by becoming a more positive person, a charmer.

Even the most serious situation can be made more tolerable with a funny joke.

Do Jokes Boost Your Confidence?

Instead, most people choose a doctor who sounds confident, assures us that they have successfully treated many people and puts you at ease. Whereas, if you lack self belief and the ability to communicate effectively with people it will harm your career prospects.

People with a lot less skill than you but greater self confidence in their own abilities will get ahead of you.

So, are there any easy ways to help you develop your communication skills and develop a self confidence that inspires others?

As you develop, you will learn that jokes use the same powerful elements that we use to tell stories and you will learn how to use emotional triggers and phrase things for the maximum benefit.

Valuable Information About Business by Phone?

2015-03-26T15:54:00.002-07:00

Are you conducting business by phone now? Would you share with us some valuable information about it?

Everyday we need information, off course the valuable ones. However, to cope with stress we also need some good laughs. When it comes to business by phone, can we have some humor too? Whatever! All must need a well preparation, a strong strategy in order to succeed your campaign. There should be some valuable information about your product that you can share and sell to public. The valuable information should be easily understood and hopefully can trigger a call to action!

Something amusing is that business doesn't have to blame you for having no official room to welcome your guests. You can conduct it by phone and customers can get some detail information about your product. You can do anywhere you like and any time you want. And no joke is that you can be as unique as Jim Carey if you like to stand out as a winner through tight competitions online.

No traffic jam, this business is more efficient and effective. What more? Business needs unique tags, customers should see your product as one the most attractive on the Internet. Not only can they have some information about it, but also some entertainment. That's what commercial like, right? Your phone can be a great media of promotion if you know how.

So, prepare it. Have your mobile phone on standby, and again, we need to underline here, when you start all things, not only some detail information you can give to your customers but the most important thing is valuable lessons too, including some entertaining. Thanks to the Internet, everybody can get access to as much as valuable information available there and that doesn't require you to rent an office building which costs you a lot. You can start business by phone anytime you want.

Are you interested in starting any businesses by phone? Need inspiration? More valuable information about how to conduct business by phone click here.

This article on valuable information about business by phone is presented by No Jokes Today, stay tune and good luck!

Business By Phone, How To Conduct It While You're Mobile?

2015-03-08T16:25:00.001-07:00

No jokes today, business by phone, this is what I do as a side job. As an English teacher, I have been doing this for a couple of months and everything is just fine. What makes you happy by this is that you don't have to go out of home, get trapped in traffic jams or cramped on the commuter train.

You may try what I've been doing if you like, best recommendation for English teacher teaching in non native English speaking country. It is a promising business, unless you think otherwise. What's in your mind, phone rate is expensive? I don't know the rate in different countries, but in Indonesia there are many phone providers offer cheaper mobile rate which enables you to talk longer for so many phone calls.

I use Telkomsel. It has Talk Mania program which can be used daily or weekly for very reasonable price that you can top up periodically as well, but I don't have to call my students; they have to call me by agreement. It's really comfortable making money this way, don't you think? Business by phone can also be done for other purposes as long as you are sure you get benefit from it. Here I am just to share my experience and give you some tips which hopefully will be useful for you, inspired from teaching English on the line.

Just keep in mind with smart phone like Blackberry or Android you can be your own boss leading your company anywhere you are and it's all up to you how to conduct business with this system.

How to?

1. Decide what product you think people need crazily
Do a research or survey before conducting your business. You can also browse on the Internet by your smart phone, right? Once you've got it, start to manage your business as professionally as you can. It will include how to make a fast delivery if there are items need to be sent, etc.

2. Develop your market, be social
In my country BBM (Blackberry Messanger) is still the best when it comes to online social activities. Even the people who don't have one still can use it. Business can be conducted through Android phone, which enables anybody to get BBM from the playstore for free. You can use other media like Whatsup, Line, Facebook, whatever. Get as many contacts as you can and start your campaign

3. Create a website or blog (optional or highly recommended?)
Your business needs a virtual address, people reaching you by phone need to be referred to your "company". Your url will be useful and therefore write the points of why people need your product badly. Okay, there are a great deal of competitors today, how to cope with it? Think of something unique, that's the solution. Give discount, free trial etc. If your business stands alone there and look outstanding you'll get faithful costumers later on one thing for sure.

4. SEO your blog and/or optimize your status on social media
Online business needs SEO, people will come to your site through your targetted keyword(s) appearing on the first page of Google. They won't phone you directly unless they are convinced. So you need also to optimize your product through your status on social media. But remember do not promote very frequently, people get sick of it. Better give valuable tips or lesson why people should use your product and promote it occasionally.

5. Voice Note sells well
Words are okay, but voice sells better. This is my experience when I try to convince my student to-be of how effective and efficient it is to learn English by phone. They need prove and the more you speak sounding like native speakers of English, the more they get attracted to it. Business will be great with you also tell the benefit in short sentences and give your consumer a free trial.

6. Guarantee and Testimony
Business needs assurance and by putting down the positive words or pictures of your previous customers using your product, you'll get more and more people buying your product. You also need to make sure of your market that you won't let them down by giving a guarantee. Based on my experience even without testimonials, if you are good and can prove you're good by voice note or phone back, you can get a new client transferring the money by a matter of minutes.

7. Keep in touch with your costumer
Provide a little time sending SMS or BBM message to congratulate your current costumers, including those with no deal on a birthday party, wedding anniversary and so on. Don't have to phone them for fear they might be in a meeting, sick or in a bad mood. This way will keep up business. One can even change his mind with our sincere attention and become a new costumer.

Well, that's all that I've been doing to succeed my business by phone and hopefully you'll get inspired. Good luck.

Shared with you by Muhammad Nurman

Attention Please: Chicago Needs Voice Over!

2014-11-17T01:36:00.001-08:00

Chicago Needs Voice Over, Are You Interested?

The announcement above is applied to anybody whose English is their mother tongue. Chicago needs voice over, which does not include those coming from Indonesia or India. But probably, there are opportunities there for the latter. Don’t you think it’s funny to find the fact how Indonesians or Indians speak English with their local dialect, Indonesians with Javanese or Bataknese and Indians with Tamil or Urdu?

Talking about languages in the world, we might find unique articulations of what is so-called tongue twisters. When you sell seashells by the seashore and convincingly pronounce it well over and over again, it doesn’t automatically make you be the one wanted as voice talent In Chicago. Or when someone gave you the black eye and you say I’m not the guy to give guy the black eye, it’s silly that you soon force an audio producer to put you to their studio.

Do I look like the one to hope for a voice over job in Chicago or a criminal?

Just sing and dance and enjoy life out of routine and if you also want to make money by selling your skill, you might look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Can people accept my voice as excellent?” Not only Chicago that needs voice over, but also some other countries all over the world when it comes the demand of it, they need people with such expertise.

So please don’t do such stupid thing in Chicago:

1. You dance in city hall alone and your song is about your dream of becoming a voice talent there
2. You keep begging people to tell you that you have a golden tone.
3. You cry because people think you’re out of your mind

By the way, how well do you know about Chicago? Don’t you think it’s a deadly destination? Not the right city to promote voice overs? Is it true that people attempt to expose the reputation of it as a welcoming country, claiming a boom in tourism since the 1960s that has created a hatred of foreigners and a ‘murderous indifference’ to the millions of tourists who flock to the country’s white-sand beaches, picturesque countryside and thriving nightlife each year?

What!? Are we talking about Thailand here?

One thing for sure don’t mess up everything. Instead of an achievement getting a voice over jobs as what you desire you get involved in criminal acts there. The information comes from the Chicago Police Department includes where and when each crime occurred, the case number, which primary and secondary "type" each crime occur because of your failure to make your dream come true?

It’s really good to see Tom and Jerry is replaced by you and the police, don’t you think it’s a bad luck?

No joke today about a silly voice talent caught red handed, it’s all about Chicago which needs voice over and if you’re ready to fly there and you have no money, it’s not really a dull joke.

Quit Smoking Naturally, Can You?

2014-11-16T18:51:00.002-08:00

When you decide to quit smoking naturally, think about burning down your habit.

It is all up to you whether you like to keep on living as you wish or quit smoking naturally. To some, no matter how long you smoke, you won’t be aging desperately. Sickness can befall anybody regardless of what is so-called bad habit. So just lead a life with your own option. If you believe man aging 100 years still have properly health condition no matter how much he smokes, better skip this post, but if you think the other way, just think of something valuable in life to do—no harm to yourself and people surrounding you. Now or never!

It’s all about whether you really want to change or you just enjoy your stubbornness. Nobody can force you to do something that’s already ingrained in skin. As for me, experience is the best teacher, even if I just could not stop smoking naturally but I had to; it’s all ended in a hospital with me suffering Typhoid and my skinny body wouldn’t support my chest to stand up like a boxer. So you might need something to scare you like bucks fighting against Mike Tyson in a ring. Is it the right analogy? Or you might make up a challenging story to support your wish to stop being a smoker.

If there’s nothing to scare you, imagine you have a fancy house and you decide to live there the rest of your life. No one can burn your dream, but it’s only you with a bar of cigarette burning your house down. How could do it? Because you find no way out of how to quit smoking naturally. You enjoy watching the flame dancing like Gangnam Style and you hate crying out in the middle of the night.

Probably you will keep smoking if

1. Cigarette like lover to you. It takes your involvement in a romance of Romeo and Juliette you never start a campaign of how to naturally quit smoke

2. Smoke like a rhythm of music like when you listen to Scorpion’s Rock song: When the Smoke is Going Down

3. Disease is in chapter 4500 in your priority of life and reading is not your hobby

4. You really think of masculinity having packs of cigarette filling your day anywhere you are

Now just keep in mind, all the things you like to do will bring about what consequence. If lung problem, for instance, doesn’t seem to be the matter, you might be a very confident man not necessarily shout at public to tell them what you really are. Okay, ladies and especially gentlemen, you can decide anytime you want, which is best for you to do; do something naturally to force yourself quit smoking or you fancy hospitalized scene. If you think this is just too much.

There’s no joke today related to the fact concerning your health. But if you think this post is funny you can try a good laugh in the crowd of people with you smoking comfortably. I think the best way of quit smoke is that you start to smoke your non-cigarette bar.

3 Reasons Why American Idol Upsets Its Winners

2014-03-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

American Idol winners scatter on the Internet. One is Candice Rickelle Glover. She is an American singer who won the twelfth season of American Idol. Glover is the latest winner who is proud of her achievement and looking forward to more following success--no jokes!

Born November 22, 1989--the same birthday as Mr. Nurman learns to tickle your fancy, Candice won't follow the blogger to tickle your fancy by singing spoof songs. Lol. She won't even be bothered by the question: does American Idol really upset it winners? The fourth African-American winner in American Idol history and the only winner to have auditioned three times before being cast for the live shows, has Music Speaks as her debut album.

Glover says she wants to be a counselor to help girls through what she went through as a teenager. There's no news or joke about her getting upset by.American Idol unfair judgement. About her helping girls, some teenagers have their own different thought.

One living in New Delhi says: "Will Candice Rickelle Glover perform in a Bollywood movie with
Shahrukh Khan? But I don't think that will bring tear to Indian massive audience as she needs to learn how to dance an Indian way and how to perform melancholic.Or has she good joke to perform in Hindi?"

Another one living in Indonesia says: "If Candice Rickelle Glover can sing dangdut, that will be a plus. Whenever she comes to Indonesia, we will find things turn to be more innovative. The entertainment will be full of joy and that'll be comical.

Anyway back to the question: Why American Idol upsets its winners? Probably

1. One saying this doesn't really like modern entertainment, he or she prefers Ballet or Kungfu.
2. The United States has many idols, life goes on and keeps up with dynamism here. A contest called American Idol is not a standup comedy which is full of joke, it won't keep its winners there for good. It's a music industry, on the one hand business needs profit and on the other hand people get bored easily and need newer and newer faces to entertain them.
3. The American Idol winners can't cope with stress if they are obsessed by a decision, "hey, you should be number one for the rest of their life!"

Have something to say? Sorry, no jokes today, the audition is close. It's midnight!

Tim Wilson Joke About Death?

2014-03-03T16:51:00.002-08:00

Tim Wilson, the famous stand-up comedy actor died a week ago due to heart attack. He was 52. There's no joke coming out from his mouth anymore. His songs are gone, too. Relatives and friends and fans show deep sorrow over his death. Well, to God we belong, to Him shall we return. Now the people who don't know him might have to underline the following questions.

1. How to be funny
2. How to be serious
3. How to be apathetic

1. How to be funny
If you live in Japan and you are a Japanese it must be funny to act like Tim Wilson and tell jokes in English. Your audience completely don't know what you're talking about. You talk about dead, heart attack and how they can grab you anywhere you are no matter how well and strong you make your hideout. Surely it's very funny--in your fancy

and mine too. But it's dull in the eye of your mother nation. Tim Wilson wouldn't do it in Japan if he were still alive I believe.

2. How to be serious
If you are a serious man, don't know how to start a witty remark in a plenary meeting and happen to live in Srilanka, you might start to create a funny story about death and reincarnation. But you should not put Tim Wilson there as the one taking a long journey to the day after and get back here to bring you a souvenir. And please, make sure that it doesn't matter whether you're serious or funny man, anybody can suffer heart attack.

3. How to be apathetic
If Tim Wilson is apathetic, there's nothing you can regard as gag, funny or laughable. Every stand-up comedian is busy with their lists of jokes. What they experience everyday should be counted as homework. They need to update the joke material. If you want to follow to be professional this is what you should do.

So, what is Tim Wilson joke about death here? Why should I put the three points above which sound disjointed one another? You know the title, you know the theme of this blog. Off course, no jokes today, our great comedian already passed away. Let him rest in peace.

Why Should We Love Spam?

2014-02-09T17:57:00.000-08:00

Spam is annoying. Spammers should be put into prison. Is that okay? Not really, love it and be happy with it! Why? Because, in case of emergency, it can be helpful.

Spam is a bunch of irrelevant or inappropriate messages sent on the Internet to a large number of recipients. It is most often considered to be electronic junk mail or junk newsgroup postings. And why should we love it?

First, think about the time when you are running out of ideas. Not yet get the point? Go, check your spam folder and start your creativity.

Here are the reasons why we, especially bloggers, should love spam:

1. You can have a secret admirer who will send you her pretty pictures

Hello Dear,

I wish you best compliment of the day

My name is Sophia koroma, a good looking girl. Well, I am sorry that I did not say much about myself because our profile cannot say everything about us. I have a special reason of contacting you so I would like you to respond to my email address there I can tell you everything about myself, and the reason I am contacting you and also send my pictures to you.

Yours Miss Sophia koroma, Write to me ok, E-mail sophia.koroma@yahoo.com

2. You can get cash donation from strangers

My Wife and I are giving out Cash Donation, Reply for details on your cashdonation of £1,500,000 from bayford family. see our interview http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19254228

3. You can get an instant loan just by providing this:

NAME............
COUNTRY............
AMOUNT..........
DURATION.............
PHONE NUMBER............

4. Your Profile Matches A Company's Job Opening

And the content of the spam is ...

To: nikhilroy62@gmail.com, nikhilsagar@gmail.com, nikhilsai15@gmail.com, nikhilsha@gmail.com, nikhiltwr08@gmail.com, nikholconsulting@gmail.com, niki.boianin@gmail.com, niki.echo@gmail.com, niki.sis13@gmail.com, nikiash.ashish@gmail.com, nikidos70@gmail.com, nikikarampela@gmail.com, nikilagroup@gmail.com, nikimbu@gmail.com, nikin786@gmail.com, nikinetwork@gmail.com, nikishaairticket2010@gmail.com, nikishaservices10@gmail.com, nikisky11@gmail.com, nikisunday723@gmail.com, nikita.raman@gmail.com, nikitamdanilov@gmail.com,

5. You can be a cool womanizer

Content censored (This blog is safe for all age)

So why we should love spam? It is simple to answer. When you are running out of ideas, you can simply compile something from your spam folder and create as I did above. Put a unique title like, why should you love your secret admirer even if you don't know who he/she is. The theme, anyway, is anything about spam, how it is so annoying and how you have to stay out of malware or spyware inserted there.

In case you love spam out of this context, well, I can only say there's no jokes today.

Indians Believe In Cows, Why?

2014-01-08T02:33:00.001-08:00

Why do Indians believe in cows? This is a question arousing people's curiosity. The Non Hindu think it is a fool. But it's their tradition, their religion, their ritual, their way of life. What the fuss is about?

As for anybody who never believe in the sacredness, never let your cattle go away. And then it comes back to haunt your life when you least expect it to it. What a weird joke! Indians believe in cows, why should they? This question is similar to why do you believe Jesus is your savior - why should you believe in a God who committed adultery and His lover regarded as scared then gave birth to a baby god? And the baby God is considered the God Himself?

If you feel secure in the knowledge that you are safe, you won't face something like a creature called cow which asks you to believe in it, It never asked the Indians itself. But people will keep questioning, why? It's not about an ancient demon whose light tread shadows yours so silently, so innocently you say, " that's a stupid thing to do."

If you're trapped by your presumption you may feel lost. Hindu priests might try to understand what it means. You don't have to feel like a lie, if, as an Indian, perhaps, occasionally you also ask why should I believe in cows? After so much effort you try to convince yourself that you need to obey your ancestors?

This blog won't give you much homework to do to put something into recovering, into retraining people's brain, It's a no-joke-today blog where if you start on your journey finding the answer to why Indians believe in cows. I'm afraid you can't eat lambs. Talking about this is tough.

If you never think you have the answer, you have to struggle with your own perception, especially if you cannot reach that point of total, That is no joke about why Indians believe in cows.

Find A School Of Nutrition And Get Fat

2014-01-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

It is not a School Of Nutrition For You To Learn Making Joke. It's a place for you to get fat. All in all, you need to consider your own healthiness. If you think you are too tired of making money, remember, one day you will need something to survive. And it is easy to guess: your life.

Your healthiness is important. Therefore you just can't let yourself suffer from any sickness caused by bad thought and fake mindset. When it comes to sanitized food, you need to make sure of it's secured origin. What does it mean? You don't have to go to nutrition school to learn further about it. Only if you want to be a nutritionist, it's highly recommended. You bet! Have you heard of what so called wrong nutrition? It's too bad to find the fact that, not only homeless people cannot distinguish between right or wrong when it comes to food, but also intellectual ones. What's wrong with scientists today?

On another post of this weird blog, you'll find a notice: At this school , we're not going to tell you joke.We sometimes invite celebrities like Brad Pitt to teach you how to make bread well. Sure, it's not a funny joke. Not either: if you are interested in the cooking class, you can win a house in New Orlando! Sure, what I'm going to tell you: this nutrition school is for you to study when you regard yourself as skinny and lack of nutrition.

The requirements needed

1. You are as skinny as skeleton
2. You are as poor as the homeless
3. You cannot even tell joke about nutrition due to your miserable condition
4. If you cannot afford the school fee, don't worry, just say, there's no joke today.

Welcome to No Jokes Today, your best school is nature!

Superman Is Not A Superhero!

2014-01-04T17:43:00.000-08:00

Anybody think Superman is the greatest superhero must think twice. He is not. He is not different from any other guys who experience ups and downs in life without unlimited power.

If you keep thinking he is the most undefeated among other super tough guys out there, he cannot even fly! You know what? Mr. Lex Luthor has already weakened him. Luthor didn't have to use kryptonite to knock Superman down. He just sits still now guarding the public toilet after cleaning it. Wait and see what's going to happen next.

What has Luthor done to him? Sorry, readers, it's a secret, I don't have to share it here with you. That's not too important for you to know. But ... it's okay, I give you a clue. Archidendron pauciflorum, commonly known as Jengkol, Dogfruit, or Jering, it is a species of flowering tree in the pea family, Fabaceae, that is native to Southeast Asia. Superman has already eaten it! Previously he's not well when he consumed it more and more. Can you imagine, how can a superhero get attracted to such food making your breath stinks. Lex Luthor has set him up.

So here's the "blueprint" to trap Superman: Luthor has already destroyed all restrooms and public toilets in the world. Now, there's only one available waiting for him to get a big catch. Our superhero suffering a bad diarrhea now. Uh-oh! As I told you Superman is not a superhero, now it's your homework to find the solution to this matter, okay?

Sorry, no joke today.

Obama Is Muslim And So Is Arnold Schwarzenegger

2014-01-04T04:33:00.002-08:00

Obama is Muslim, according to anybody who presume he is a Muslim. Arnold is too, according to some comedians whose jokes are not sold well. Obama was baptized into the United Church of Chris, to some this is fake. Atheists might believe he is the Antichrist. According to the Los Angeles Times false rumors saying that Obama was secretly a Muslim started during his campaign for the United States Senate in 2004 and had expanded through viral e-mails by 2006.

Maybe he is a Buddhist or a Hindu or Agnostic or what the hell we care about? And how about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well he can be terminator, the last man standing or a Catholic. Above all, there's no joke today to tickle your funny bone.

This picture might not amuse you. On the contrary it will make keep questioning, "Is Obama a Muslim?" And with Arnold Schwarzenegger.beside him laughing, it shows that the rulers are just doing fine governing their own territory. Later on, you'll see camels there singing an Indian song instead of Arabic traditional music.What a joke!

Too many worrying things on the Internet--what is so called hoax. If both Obama and Arnold convert to Islam, nothing so extraordinary to scare the world, especially those Islam haters. This will only forcefully produce some instant interfaith conflict forums; there'll be getting more and more arguments filled with blasphemy, sarcasm or intimidation.

By the way if you're looking for a joke here, probably you like to see them together giggling chased by a female camel on a desert, what do you think?

Well, no joke today!

Find A Great Lawyer And Win Your Case

2013-12-13T01:07:00.001-08:00

How and where to find an excellent lawyer to help you win your case? Off course, you are not going to hire Sir Elton John who came out as a gay man in 1988. He is one of the famous celebrities who was previously sure news of his homosexuality was "common knowledge". And he is not hanging around telling joke to people about lousy attorneys.

Driving far far away across America to find a great lawyer to win your case is such a silly thing to do. I believe you don't regard this as a joke: In America cars are on the right-had side of the road and are usually going faster. There's no connection between the statement: The United states is a large country so there are many different road conditions and driving situations and The attorney has to drive miles away to check if his faithful client safe and sound.

Before you go out and find the right person, you should not continue force yourself to go off track and off the battle field. Relax, enjoy some dull jokes here even if your enemies might later on belittle your excellent lawyer, mocking him as Shaun The Sheep's farmer and saying you won't win your case at all. The winners in life are not those who mock attorney.

Okay if you think this jabber goes on unstoppable just bear in mind, nobody will help you win your case unless you go out searching for a brilliant advocate. Find a nice place to let out all sighs, first; if necessary read a joke about Nelson Mandela building India. Just to make yourself comfortable.

All done? Now, iron your own dress, judge.

What Is Insurance?

2013-12-12T22:30:00.001-08:00

What Is Insurance? Warning, this is not a reference for anybody searching for instantly exclusive protection. This is an exception reading. You like jokes, you might stay tune here even if you are in big debts.This blog provides exceptional readings like James Bond who married a Javanese woman or Nelson Mandela who built India.

If you need a loan, you might go to a licensed lender. But if you need an insurance you can't go there to submit a proposal and have your life protected. No jokes. There are reputable lenders who'll consider lending to you even if your income's low, your credit rating's poor or you only need a small amount for a short while. But we're not talking about loan shark here.

Either, we're not telling jokes about how awful you're frustrated with your job and therefore decide to start a career as an insurance agent and yell to anyone: "We offer many ways to lower your auto insurance rates, including Farm Bureau, good student and multi-policy discounts."

We just want to make sure your vehicle insurance keeps up with your life if you have a private car to use to work. A Nationwide insurance agent should not look like a clown when helping you get the coverage you need and the discounts you deserve to lower your car insurance rates. Does that sound like a joke to tickle your funny? Remember, we're not talking about how you have to remain there in your hideout until all those loan sharks get lost.

So, what is insurance? If you are looking for a serious definition of it, you may know the meaning: after an accident, you want things to get back to normal fast. If you want some jokes, you may say, learn how to protect yourself and passengers with spoof and tickle fancy readings.

Thank you for trying hard to digest this insurance article as a joke. Big laugh is unacceptable.

School Of Nutrition: For You To Learn Making Joke?

2013-11-10T17:59:00.002-08:00

Welcome to School Of Nutrition. Prepare your food. Don't eat it. Just put it on a table. Now ask yourself, "What am I going to do with this food?" Wait. No joke! Refrain from eating even if you're hungry. Think, where you got the food before. Is it highly sanitized? If you bought it from a street market somewhere in one of South-East Asia countries, you need to check and recheck about its sanity. Is it a mockery? No, sorry, correction, anywhere you bought it from any street markets by the polluted street without enough cover when sold around the world, you'd better think twice to eat your food.

Your healthiness is important. Therefore you just can't let yourself suffer from any sickness caused by sanitized food? You bet! Have you heard of what so called wrong nutrition? That's terrible! At this School , we're not going to tell you joke.We sometimes invite celebrities like Brad Pitt to teach you how to make bread well. If you are interested in the cooking class, you can win a house in New Orlando!

By the way, do you still remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver were living together, the action star and former California governor never said that studying at school of nutrition is the best solution to your diet problems. It's not a funny joke Arnold like to tell about, not including this one: "Hey, Mr. Schwarzenegger how many villains you kick their ass toady?" As you know, he admits in his new autobiography to a "hot affair" with actress Brigitte Nielsen while they filmed Red Sonja in 1985.

Well, there's no study of gossiping here, anyway. You have to make sure of your sanity and with or without studying at school of nutrition, you still can enjoy funny jokes on this blog. Stay tune.

Another Disney World Sensation For You? Orlando Townhomes!

2013-11-10T15:21:00.001-08:00

Here is Another Disney World's Place To Live Recommended For You. Nice place to live: Orlando Townhomes! Really, no jokes today! Have you heard of it? This one located in Lake Mary, which was rated #4 on Money Magazines Best Places to Live, Grande Oaks is conveniently located by Colonial TownPark shopping center.

Just as what they think, I believe beautiful and thriving Lake Mary is quickly becoming an area of high interest in the Orlando real estate market. Perhaps I should discuss it with my family when to move to Grande Oaks at Heathrow. But this is our problem, my wife has been trapped by a loan shark's trick and the kids are still there in their hideout.

Not funny. That's why I told you, there's no joke today. Orlando Townhomes, not only the one which gives you a lot of comfort living there, but also gives you large rooms for you to create stupid joke like me, WHAAAT?!!! This is only a recommendation and to have a cozy environment there, is not a dream, okay baby?

Starting A Business? Get Inspired Here!

2013-11-10T14:59:00.001-08:00

Starting A Business? Get Inspired Here!: Thinking about different things to start a business? First, focus on your plan. Don't underestimate it. Things can be a real roller coaster. You are not just there standing and thinking and crying for help

As for me, the first thing that I do, I'll be showing off. With all the skills that I have, the Internet should make me one of the savvy people specific businesses crazily look for. Copy me if you can. If you can't just tell there's no jokes today. You can. Sure you can. So you are starting a business now? Looking for inspiration? You need to go for an exhibition if you don't think you can exhibit your products the way I do.

The different things that I do when starting a business maybe the same as what other people think. First, use your brain, maximize it, think about research, survey, trial, evaluation or dance if you're tired thinking. Dance? Why not? But make sure you do it sincerely after you have learned from the link I put above and get inspired. No jokes today, when you start a business you really need inspiration. You don't have to sit before the mirror and yell, "mirror mirror on the wall, when will my life improved!"

What Is Wrong Nutrition?

2013-11-05T23:59:00.001-08:00

What Is Wrong Nutrition? If you have a sense of humor, your answer must be laughable. But perhaps, you laugh out loud at yourself, because you are not a comedian.

There's no joke about it today. Especially if you believe a new study from researchers at the University of South Carolina taking a closer look at the numbers from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, or NHANES. NHANES surveys Americans to find out what they've been eating, if they've been sick, that kind of thing. It's used mostly to learn about diseases and health risk factors throughout the country--and this new study says it's wrong. And has been wrong since it began.

Okay, should we skip the survey? it's not funny to find the fact that the latest survey could have an even broader impact: nutrition is not as its name. NHANES is a 40-year-old survey, and it is said as "physiologically implausible" for the numbers to be correct.

What number?

No. 1 If you consume 1,500 calories a day, you can become a person of high disparity because you cannot be as strong as well-built Arnold Schwarzenegger

No. 2 If there's nobody following people around to make sure they're telling the truth, you cannot just say nutrition is wrong as you have knowledge about it.

No. 3 If there's no joke about the related topic I write down here, that it is totally disjointed, don't laugh out loud over there, that's really odd!

Apartment For Sale! Bali or California?

2013-11-05T21:14:00.001-08:00

Where to find cheap apartment for sale? No jokes today. It depends on where you want to stay, right? If you live in California, why should buy the one built in Bali? That's totally not funny. Or thinking about a cozy environment like Disney World? Check it out here.

There's a joke about James Bond on one of this blog posts that he marries an Indonesian girl, but they don't live in Bali. No skyscrapers there, this might be one of the reason so. Where to find cheap bungalow there is more recommended then looking for apartment for sale. If you live in California, you might look for one located there, that's all.

And, there's no jokes about why James Bond having to find a genie to move a lavishly tall apartment in California to Bali. Thinking about it when you are in big debt will make you banana, don't you think? Maybe, I'll write about it someday. By the way, you're family is okay, right? Don't follow a family to do the DIY divorce in the desert, that's not funny at all.

Okay, since there's no skyscrapers in Bali to outdo the once tallest building on earth--WTC, good news is that the cheapest bungalow there is for sale. But unfortunately, it's already sold. But you're not looking for the one being abandoned in a slum area, right?

3 Recommendations: How To Make Bread With Brad Pitt

2013-11-05T19:09:00.001-08:00

No jokes today if you ask about how to make bread with Brad Pitt.

He might recommend you to:

1. Read the script when you're preparing your saucepan
2. Pronounce some slang loudly if you're a shy guy even if your mom asks you to fry garlic today.
3. See your alter ego in the mirror when you have spoiled the kitchen and you look dummy by that.

Everything is getting expensive today. So many countries stay in crisis. No joke! Thinking about efficiencies are better than burning your mother's kitchen. If you want to know how to make bread don't ask Brad Pitt for the recipe. You're recommended to

1. Sleep if you're sleepy
2. Eat if you're hungry
3. Smile if you hesitate to laugh out loud on reading this post.

Do you agree that there's no joke today, Mr. Bread? Ask Mr. Pitt that brad is so yummy.

Some other 3 recommendations about how you can make bread easily without worrying making wrong spelling is, first you should know that it contains right or wrong nutrition. Second don't eat it in a golf course when it's well done, third skip this post and just cook.