No Mato mi Pavo

I'd just lik to say...

2010-04-25T19:43:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted in a while. It isn't for a lack of topics. Lord knows there is much going on today that deserves comment. I've been busy trying to do more productive things like work, fix the house and rip my CD collection to a hard drive (just passed 17,000 songs and growing). I just couldn't pass this one up. I visited Revolution Muslim's website to read and hear their comments on the recent fracas over South Park's treatment of the Prophet Muhammad in their episodes 200 and 201. After giving them (well their spokesperson actually) a chance to air their side of the story, I have but one comment... Younus Abdullah Muhammad, you can kiss my ass you cowardly piece of trash! Next time you post an thinly veiled threat against the life of, well, anyone, you should have the intestinal fortitude, courage and decency to stand behind those remarks when they are rightfully questioned. S2http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Now what do I say?

2010-03-29T19:14:00.002-06:00

I'm just your average guy. As such, on occasion, Mrs. Bald Man catches me staring longingly at our local Hooters restaurant as we drive by. Since I've an aversion to red meat, she knows I am not salivating over their incredible hot wings, she feels it necessary to comment on some imagined desire in me to chase the suitably dressed waitresses around. In the past, I've always commented that I am like a dog chasing a car. I wouldn't know what to do with it if I caught it. Well.....now what can I say? S2http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Ask not who pays Ma Bell's tolls, they're not paid by me

2010-03-18T20:33:00.003-06:00

Sweet freedom. It is not often in these intrusive times of increased government regulation aimed at saving our cooling planet from global warming (excuse me, global climate change), internet ads so targeted my browser recommends a tie to match the shirt I happen to be wearing while surfing the web and corporations so intertwined that my purchase of a Kosher dinner ends up feeding the coffers of Mercedes Benz (talk about irony) that one gets to stick it to The Man. Face it, The Man got to be The Man because he wins a lot more often than some other schmo. David did beat Goliath but, depending on your views regarding a supreme being, he either made a very lucky throw or, considering the size of his all powerful ally in the heavens, he wasn't the underdog in the fight. It must be that fact most of us never get to experience being The Man that we take such pride in seeing the big guys fail. We also take every opportunity to inflict what amount to pin pricks of pain on corporate giants...

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The intelligent design of South Park

2010-03-17T22:10:00.002-06:00

We've been told for weeks now that the passage of Obamacare is immanent. I've been holding off posting something new until I could get my addled brain around the dirty tricks, bribes and blatant disregard for the constitution that comprise the sausage factory that the legislative process has become. While letting my thoughts wander from topic to topic, I came across a beautiful presentation by none other than the formerly Mr who is now the never married Mrs. Garrison, third grade teacher at South Park Elementary. Forced to teach evolution, Mrs. Garrison proceeds to offer her take on this yet to be proven theory. Sometimes, if you don't laugh (like while we await the monumental changes about to be wrought) you will end up crying. S2http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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I need a platitude adjustment

2010-02-19T17:46:00.004-07:00

plat·i·tude /ˈplætɪˌtud, -ˌtyud/ Show Spelled[plat-i-tood, -tyood] Show IPA –noun 1. a flat, dull, or trite remark, esp. one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. If I have said it once I've said it a thousand times, the ability to effectively communicate in an original and effective way has gone the way of the dinosaur in these Twitter-filled days of instant messaging. When one believes that any salient point can be made in 140 characters or less or that a platitude laced political speech proves the utterer is statesmanlike, we further erode a social link that is retreating faster than a Greenland glacier in Al Gore's worst nightmare: the ability to convey information from one person to another. R U Serious? OMG yes. IMHO txt spk is ruining English. Woot! Unless you live in a cave, you've probably attended a presentation in which the presenter used a PowerPoint to help impart knowledge. Residing in a cave isn't even a valid excuse. I am sure Usama Bin Laden has seen his fair...

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Air and space nauseum

2010-02-16T22:00:00.009-07:00

Tonight, on the eve of the start of the Catholic Church's Lenten season, all eyes turn to the hedonist haven of New Orleans as the drunken and debauched have the sinner's equivalent of a condemned man's last meal by consuming copious amounts of alcohol and debasing themselves by flashing all sorts of body parts in exchange for a few pennies worth of plastic beads before their forty days of penitent living begins. Sounds like fun to me! This week, I will be on the road just a few days, flying to the city that wears its sin on its sleeve all year long and doesn't need a religious holiday to cut loose; Las Vegas. I don't know if it a testament to age, sobriety or common sense but, like tonight, I will most likely be snug in my room early in the evening researching another blog instead of pickling my liver on the 24 hour a day playground that is the Strip. They do have free beer at the hotel for a few hours so I may have a few; just to keep my liver from getting complacent. The anxiety...

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Nobody beats Obama....

2010-02-12T20:34:00.007-07:00

Or more accurately...anybody does. As the list of Democrat elected officials retiring grows as a rate only exceeded by the growth of our national debt, The ONE is seeing his popularity and approval shrink faster than the hopes global climate change champions in the wake of ever increasing snow drifts in nearly every state of the country. From what were historically high approval rates and a nearly cult like following, Obama is now polling almost dead even with... well... anybody. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ A recent Gallup poll shows that the GOP could run just about anyone with a pulse and they would have a chance at unseating the one once thought sure to serve three terms as President before retiring to his rightful place on Mount Rushmore. Three years, when talking about election cycles, is an eternity so much could change before voters are again lured to the polls by promises of a life uncomplicated by...

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Atranta's new metlo rine is lacist

2010-02-10T21:16:00.004-07:00

or... Eyeing a new slant to nip a problem in the bud It seems every time the sun rises in this land of ours, there is another group seeing red because they've been slighted, belittled or referred to in a way they feel is racist. On the face of it, you might think a story about a group of Asian-Americans being upset because officials at Atlanta's MARTA (rapid rail system) decided to name the branch that happens to run in to the heart of a popular Asian-American area Yellow was a made up news item. Well, my friends, it is right here in black and white. Despite the fact several other major cities with rail systems use color coded lines, including yellow and the highly unlikely scenario that this color was chosen because of the race of rail's surrounding citizenry, the angry horde is threatening to hold their breath until they turn blue unless MARTA officials meet and agree to spend an undetermined amount of taxpayer greenbacks to change the line's color designation from yellow to, get...

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Sign of the times

2010-02-09T21:42:00.002-07:00

Sometimes, you just have to chuckle. http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Hey palm readers, talk to the hand

2010-02-09T09:36:00.005-07:00

As predicted, it didn't take long for the mainstream media news corpse (sic) to bury in the body of their print and verbal reports any mention of yet another verbal gaff by The ONE (see previous blog post here). Instead, the issue (sic) that has them wringing their hands in gleeful anticipation of delivering a left-winged and left-handed bitch slap to the Tea Party faithful is the fact Sarah Palin wrote a few crib notes on the palm of her hand when delivering a speech and answering a few questions. Harry "the voice" Shearer opened his interview on Keith "the self-absorbed feaux male" Olbermann's show with a palm-reading joke. No sooner had the ink dried on Ms. Palin's palm and the Huffington Post grabbed on to the topic and devoted a bunch of digital ink to covering it. Chris Matthew's off handed remarks aren't even worth mentioning and Andrea Mitchell on CNN stepped way outside the bounds of journalistic neutrality with a rambling shtick of "callouts" that had her co-reporters...

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Ahh the Body Politic

2010-02-04T20:59:00.003-07:00

Politics can be brutal and those in politics can be, and usually are, petty little whining narcissists who make even the slightest of gaffs in to issues requiring letters of apology and review committees of the highest order to be seated. President Obama recently threw craps for a second time when he said that in these hard financial times, people should not spend college funds gambling in Las Vegas. Everyone from the Nevada state speaker of the house to Harry "he speaks well for a black man" Reid came to the table with Poker faces demanding The ONE settle up his debt to those slighted in the Silver State. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feeling more, the President ordered a minor staffer to draft a letter expressing an appropriate amount of consolation and begging forgiveness. Whew. I am glad we nipped that crisis in the bud. Last week White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel stirred a few chromosomes in those on the right when he referred to liberal activist groups who were opposed to...

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When life fit in a Prius

2010-02-01T21:00:00.004-07:00

The ONE just sent his budget to congress and it is evident that, despite the so-called spending freeze announced in the State of the Union address last week, the spending in Washington will continue unabated. The debt ceiling has been raised several times and our elected officials seem to have the "I still have checks I can't be broke" syndrome so common among recent college grads on their own with their very first bank account. I am at a loss to understand the need for more and more consumption in an age when we are bombarded with ads to continue to conserve to "save the planet". I can only suppose government officials equate spending to power and, after all, that is the true quest of those in the elected elite in our country; acquire more power. On the way from the airport to my hotel this evening, I saw in the lane beside me a young girl with a car piled full of packing boxes, laundry baskets and a mish mash of other receptacles so full she was either moving or a member of some...

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Brown vs the "bored and educated"

2010-01-19T21:56:00.002-07:00

Republicans are a a twitter and twittering their hearts out with the victory of Scott Brown in the Massachusetts Senate race. Celebration is fine but....let's not get carried away..... http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

2010-01-18T20:05:00.004-07:00

Tomorrow is a very big day in the former colony of Massachusetts. If you are one who relies on the New York Times for all the news that is fit to print, you might not be aware that the Republican candidate has taken a lead in the tightly fought race for the Senate seat that Democratic candidate Martha Coakley said Ted Kennedy would want her to have. I am pretty sure brothers John and Robert spoke through dead talker and fraud psychic John Edward to voice their spiritual approval of the state's attorney general and die hard Sox's fan. Reports from the commonwealth are coming in faster than my addled brain can digest them and cover everything from Brown's once posing provacatively in a woman's magazine to how everything is still George Bush's fault. This election is being touted as a referendum on Obama in general and health care reform in particular. Republican enthusiasm is running high while democrats seem resigned to lose... or cheat. Of all the turns of events in this momentous...

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Clearing the air for Health care

2010-01-15T19:41:00.004-07:00

The ground had barely stopped shaking on the island nation of Haiti before relief and support from around the world, but especially from the ever philanthropic United States citizenry, began pouring in like a tsunami. Politicians, with their hurricane force winds of hot air are expressing an appropriate amount of sympathy while posturing to garner additional points in re-election polls commensurate with their promised level of government assistance. Following the advice of Rohm Emmanuel, no one it seems is willing to let this crisis go to waste. While legitimate fund raising is going on, thieves and con artists are raining a typhoon of scams down upon the big of heart and small of mind who want to help but don't realize most charities wouldn't use a long lost Facebook buddy to ask on their behalf. The not so Reverend Pat Robertson set off a tornado of controversy with his ill timed and absolutely cruel comments. His mouth should be washed out with Holy Water. Even the global warming,...

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Time waits for no mandate

2010-01-13T21:11:00.003-07:00

At the end of each work day, I ask myself if I feel I earned my pay in what I did for the company that day. Fortunately, being in a low paid position has it's advantages as my goals are somewhat reduced from those of your average fry flipper in a paper hat. Even with this self imposed benchmark, I find some projects delayed well past my personal point of comfort. In the world of private business, that is very bad. In the world of government, I hope for this to be a frequent occurrence. I am one for whom the idea of governmental gridlock is a good thing. The less done by these slaves to the power of the ballot box the better off we all are. This goes for the federal, state and local levels of public service. It is therefore somewhat unsettling for me to complain about a situation of possible governmental delay. Next week the voters (and quite possibly a few illegal aliens) of the state of Massachusetts will head to the polls to decide on an elected replacement to fill the senatorial...

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And now a word from our newest sponsor

2010-01-11T22:26:00.004-07:00

This blog runs on a shoestring budget and, to keep the lights on, occasionally we have to reach out to advertisers. The political slant, minuscule readership and disagreeable nature of the staff scare off most main frame marketers. Therefore, we can't be too picky when a willing sponsor comes calling. It may be coincidence but the envelope that contained this month's ad arrived at our office postmarked from Amsterdam on Christmas Day. Let's hope their check clears. S2http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Who wants to live for ever

2010-01-08T22:41:00.004-07:00

I was in an O'Hare airport bookstore today trying to decide between a business book on decision making and Tera Patrick's expose on the life of a porn star for my in-flight reading pleasure. I decided on Sway, a book which discusses our propensity to make bad decisions in light of obvious evidence that our decision will, in fact, be bad. Halfway through the flight, in validation of my purchased book's premise, I was wishing I'd gone with the ghost written book about an adult film legend. The cover alone was worth the price of admission. Of course, until I saw her book at the front of the store, I had never heard of Tera Patrick. A quick Internet search informs me she is an adult star of some note. This woman is at the top of her profession and her movies are under the mattresses of teenage boys across the globe. Yet, more people have never heard of her than have. I began to think about fame and how few truly make it past Mr. Warhol's fifteen minute time limit. Today would have been...

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Racism again rears its ugly head

2010-01-06T15:31:00.003-07:00

How is this not racist? The Chicago Police department doesn't think minorities are smart enough to pass their officer's test? I am ignorant of the exact quote but this policy is a prime example of the "soft racism of low expectation". Instead of relaxing the criteria to become an officer in the Chicago Police department, perhaps there should be some increase in the qualifications needed to occupy an office in city hall. S2http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/NoMatoMiPavo

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Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

2010-01-05T21:08:00.002-07:00

Since the failed terrorist attach on Christmas day, travelers have been bracing themselves for the virtual anal probe that is coming to airport security in the form of full body scanners. On Fox News tonight, Ann Coulter, whose body scan image would likely fetch a fair amount on Ebay and one for which I would join in the bidding, joined ranks with the ACLU in decrying another ineffective government intrusion in the form of safety. I've long complained about the inane and outright ludicrous security procedures in place at our nation's airports. We sheeple continue to flock to and through security turnstiles on our way to meetings and reunions because we've little alternative when faced with needing to be across our great continent in a short period of time. As TSA officials ogle our nearly nude images, saying they've got us by the short hair is appropriate when discussing our alternatives for transportation. Instead of focusing on more likely terrorist subjects through profiling, all...

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Maps, Apps and fine print

2010-01-04T21:16:00.002-07:00

If you have been watching television in general or any one of the seemingly thousands of college bowl games specifically, you have most likely seen one of the competing ads for Verizon or AT&T focusing on maps of their coverage, etc. While I find ads from both companies marginally entertaining, I can't help wishing for a pause button to read the fine print that flashes briefly on the screen during the 30 second plea for business. For, you see, it is in this fine print that the truth is told. We all know it. The FCC dictates the size, length of visualization and content of much of this fine print and it is done in order to protect us, the ignorant consumer, from being taken advantage of by evil corporations. This same regulation has brought us the super fast voice over in radio commercials and the laundry list of potential side effects (nausea, vomiting, anal bleeding, erectile dysfunction, increased ear hair or audible flatulence) for every drug currently marketed on television,...

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MMX

2010-01-01T19:05:00.002-07:00

The $2 million dollar Waterford Crystal ball above Time's Square in New York hadn't even begun its symbolic New Year's descent from old to new and the 24 hour news stations were deep in to the first scandal of the new year. There's actually two closely related scandals being talked about simultaneously: do we call this new year Two Thousand and Ten or Twenty Ten and is Twenty Ten (I've not made a decision if this should be the moniker of choice but Twenty Ten is easier to type than Two Thousand and Ten) the last year of the first decade of the second millennium or is it the first year of the second decade of the second millennium? This issue is of such phenomenal importance that it supplanted both the Health Care debate and the attempted act of human caused tragedy (see the Obama Administration's official guide for dealing with angry men of Middle Eastern descent for clarification of this reference if you are confused) on Christmas day at the beginning of nearly every news story for...

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The problem with racists seems to be...well...their race.

2009-08-19T22:12:00.006-06:00

Finding examples of media bias toward liberal viewpoints is about as difficult as finding stink in a month old carton of two percent milk. You, unfortunately, tend to get the same reaction when pointing this bias out to someone as you get when you say "here smell this" to your lovely spouse standing before you with a bowl full of dry Grape Nuts and a spoon. A reaction of indifference to your plight in having been the one to recognize the problem, a bit of irritance (sic) that you feel necessary to share the pain, indignance that you expected anything else to come from the so-called mainstream media or a container of clearly separated, past its prime bit of bovine juice and impatience that there is no quick remedy being proposed. It was rather fun to run down to the local Whole Foods grocery to pick up a quart of fresh, organic, non-fat milk at an inflated price and listen to the pantheon of left leaning shoppers decry the chain's CEO's op ed piece against The ONE's health care...

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One out of 100 is calm. Ask yourself why.

2009-08-12T21:50:00.002-06:00

At the onset of their August recess, members of the House and Senate dispersed across the country feeling like gods descending from Olympus to hold court with the acolytes from their respective districts and states. In town hall meetings where these so called leaders expected to be viewed as statuesque and sage they found instead they were more figures of disdain to be burned, symbolically of course, in effigy. The mainstream media, along with the now fringe MSNBC and their big brother NBC, would have us believe the crowds filling these meetings halls to beyond capacity are akin to the torch and ax wielding mobs of a Frankenstein movie whose uncontrolled outbursts are interrupting the monster’s soft shoe rendition of “Putting on the Ritz”. They would also have us believe these antagonists are without free will and are there at the bidding of a right wing and, probably, right handed puppet master who is pulling the string of discontent to try and stop any progress being made by this...

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This case for racial equity is a few bottles short of a six pack.

2009-08-02T12:19:00.003-06:00

Let me be upfront about this, I have done everything I can to avoid reading, watching or listening to reports about the Beer Summit held at the White House last Thursday. It is this ignorance of the issue that, it seems, makes me qualified to comment on the greater issue here. After all, when asked about the underlying racially charged arrest that this summit was held to address, the First African American President of the United States felt compelled, after admitting he didn't know the facts, to call the actions of the police stupid. For those of you who may shun mass media to an even great extent than I have recently, the so-called Beer Summit at the White House was a photo opportunity brought about from an arrest made at the home of a Harvard professor after a neighbor, who was either taking her turn on duty for Neighborhood Watch or feels she is channeling Jimmy Stewart's wheelchair bound character in Rear Window, called the police to report two men breaking in to a house on her...

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