No regrets, No fear, No shame, No anger

Pilgrims of The Alley: Interview with Author Dave Arnold

2013-02-20T20:00:00.000+03:00

Today I am excited to interview Dave Arnold who has launched his first book, Pilgrims of the Alley on Amazon, just this week. It is available both on Paperback and as a Kindle Edition.

He shares a message of hope and how to thrive in purpose as Christians despite being in a fallen world where we constantly feel out of place. This message resonates with what we share on this blog.

Without further ado, let us get to meet Dave and know more about his newly released book:

Pilgrims of the Alley - Book Cover

Maureen: Kindly introduce yourself to our readers, who is Dave Arnold?

Dave: I am a writer, speaker, and an advocate for refugees living in Dearborn, Michigan. I've been in full-time ministry since 1998 in a variety of roles: as a pastor, missionary, urban worker, social worker, etc. I've been married to Angie for 13 years and we have one son, Luke.

I have been a writer since 2003, where I first started doing freelance work for a variety of magazines and online journals. I also started doing freelance writing with a major church denomination. I am a blogger, too, and have started me own online ministry: www.reflectionsfromthealley.org

Maureen: Have you always thought of one day authoring a book?

Dave: I was inspired to write by a professor I had in college by the name of Dr. Hensley. He taught me to love words and to use words to impact people’s lives. He encouraged me in my writing endeavours. So, in 2003, I started doing freelance writing by writing for different magazines and journals. God really opened up doors for me to write. In 2006, while in was in Chicago, I started writing a bit and started to put together a book. I stopped after a while; but then in 2011, I really sensed God wanting me to write this book.

Maureen: Why did you choose the title “Pilgrims of the Alley: Living out Faith in Displacement”? What was your inspiration?

Dave: The Title, Pilgrims of the Alley, came to me when I was working with World Relief, a refugee agency on Chicago’s north side. I was loading up donated furniture in the back alley and I met this homeless couple. They were going from dumpster-to-dumpster looking for something (although I’m not sure what). I couldn’t shake them from my mind; and the phrase, “pilgrims of the alley” just came to me. And I began thinking about how people who follow Christ in this world are homeless, oftentimes wondering through the alleys of life attempting to live out their faith in an authentic way. Moreover, I believe God is at work in the “alley” – that is, in the tough and undesirable places of our lives and in the world.

If I could sum up my book in one word, it would be the word hope.

Maureen: Share with us the main message of the book.

Dave: Really, it’s a book about hope – a deep hope in a God who is for us and who is leading us through the alleys of life to our ultimate destination with Him (in Heaven). It’s a book inspired by many people who have suffered and persevered amid great difficulties and challenges. I share stories of refugees who escaped through the jungle to get to safety; and my friend who started a business that seeks to bless and serve people in spite of losing his job and house.

My hope is that people will read the book and walk inspired and ready to take action: ready to engage in meaningful work and learn to trust God no matter what.

Maureen: In the book you cover three main stages of displacement, kindly break that down for us in a few words.

Dave: The three stages of Displacement I share in the book are: (1) Disorientation; (2) Blessing; (3) Homecoming.

These three stages I’ve observed in many immigrants and refugees whom I’ve worked with, especially within the first six months or so of their new life in a foreign country.

First is disorientation. Disorientation is the initial “shock” of living in a foreign environment. The challenges of language, culture, finding a job, etc. are at the forefront. Similarly, as followers of Jesus, we often feel disoriented in life – as if we are trying to navigate through a foreign and (often) difficult environment.

Second is blessing. This is where a person starts to assimilate into their new environment: where they learn to adjust, becoming more self-sufficient, etc. For Christians, once we face that life can be profoundly disappointing and disoriented, we then can move through life with the purpose of blessing others by living out our God-ordained purpose.

Third, is homecoming. Most of the immigrants and refugees I’ve worked with have a longing to go back to their homeland. Really, the longing never goes away. For some people – refugees from Somalia or Sudan or Afghanistan – they may never go back to their countries. But that doesn’t mean they don’t miss it and long to see their homes.

As Christians, the Bible tells us our home is not this earth – that this is not all there is. In John 14, Jesus told His disciples He had to leave to go prepare a place for them… and that He will come back and take us to where He is (Heaven).

Maureen: After every chapter, there is a section called, “Reflections of the Alley.” What is that about and how important is reflection as a practice in the society today?

Dave: The idea of Reflections From the Alley came alongside of the book a few years ago. (In fact, I decided to name my blog Reflections From the Alley as a result of this.) I want readers to be able to reflect on what they just read; to think on it and write out some thoughts. And hopefully, they will look back at what they wrote years later and remember what God taught them. There is also a prayer after the reflections the reader can use as a guide.

I think reflecting on what you read or learn or experience is vital to our growth. We are to be both reflective and active.

Maureen: We can either live a life of purpose or go through the motions in life, and get lost in the discouragement of life. Can we thrive in displacement or are we just meant to survive?

Displacement is when we’re struggling or feel out of our natural environment.

Dave: I believe with all my heart it is possible to thrive in displacement. Throughout the Bible, you see God’s people thriving in difficulties and challenging situations. But the key is trusting God. We will not make it if we do not trust God. He is the One who sustains us and who helps us thrive.

Maureen: Does life work out the way we think it should Dave? What has been your experience and how are we to live even if life doesn’t work out?

I don’t think life works out the way we think it should (at least not often). We have an idea of how life should be – that we should be happy, have a good job, get married, have kids, etc. – but life always throws us curve balls and is full of challenges.

Dave: We live in a fallen world: a world where tragedies happen and sickness occurs, and wars. Jesus never said He would give us a pain-free happy life; but He did promise He would be with us. When you cling to God and trust Him, life works and you thrive. It may not work the way you hope or think. But there will be joy and peace.

Maureen: You share a lot from people’s personal experiences in the book, yours and other peoples’. What would you say about experiences we go through day-to-day and the importance of learning from others as well?

Dave: I think we learn best from experiences. Going to school is good and learning information; but experience is the best teacher. We should always seek to be learners: to learn from others, to learn from our own experiences. One of the ways I personally do this is by keeping a journal. I jot down what God is teaching me, people who impact me, etc. It’s always helpful to look back and see how God worked.

Maureen: Any last words you would like to share with the readers of this blog Dave?

Dave: I do hope you check out my book. It was not written in an office or as theory of nice principles. It’s written from the blood, sweat, and tears of experience and attempting to work out my own faith in this world. It’s a book to read and reflect on; but more importantly, to act on. To be willing to trust deeply in God and do extraordinary things in this world.

In fact, if you buy the book this week (Book Launch Week, Feb. 18-24), you will receive some bonus items (a really good video about World Relief, a refugee organization that is helping the poor and displaced all over the world, and a PDF of the book. In addition, you will be eligible to enter a contest to win free Starbucks gift cards and eBooks.

Thanks for having me Maureen!

.....................................................................................................................................

Thanks for sharing with us so candidly Dave, it's my pleasure!

To get the bonus items and enter the contest, you must send Dave the receipt of the book. You can email him the receipt at davejarnold16@gmail.com

To connect more with Dave find him on any of the following platforms:

Blog: www.reflectionsfromthealley.org

Twitter: @davejarnold16

Facebook: Reflections from the Alley

Question : Are you a pilgrim of the alley? (Please share on the comments section and check out the book on Amazon)

Open and Uncut (Plus a giveaway of an Ebook, SELAH)

2013-02-08T12:50:00.000+03:00

I am humbled and glad to be part of the launch team of a Christian devotional, SELAH: A 90-Day Journey of Grace and Hope written by my online friend, Joseph Iregbu.

I would love that you kindly download a sample of the book - the First 7 Days of the devotional from this link: http://selahthebook.com/free/

Just as the name suggests, you will daily take time to pause and calmly think on each day’s topic. You will also be filled with the grace and hope that only God can give. Joseph took a seven year journey to write this devotional, I believe it will be a blessing for you and will be worth your while.

SELAH: A 90-Day Journey of Grace and Hope, Joseph Iregbu

Are you real? Are you authentic?

In an imperfect and fast paced world, where we have love and hate, joy and sorrow, hope and hopelessness – it comes back to you and the choices you make as you journey through life.

Please pause and calmly think about this question: “Who am I?”

How did you answer that? Did you say daughter/ son, father/ mother, a sojourner…the answers to this question are as varied and broad as they get.

My next question is, “Who are you outside of the roles that you play?” Are you defined by the position you play in the workplace, home, and community?

“Whose expectations do you live for?”

“What is success to you?”

“Have you ever failed? Does that make you a failure?”

“When will you consider yourself as successful?”

“Do you have dreams?”

“When you die, will you have lived a full life – done all that you were born to?”

“Do you think you are valuable?”

“Do you add value to the world – in your relationships, at your workplace, in the community?”

“Are you a difference maker in this world?”

“We are often good at masking our pain with fake smiles, raised hands in shallow worship and timid confessions of faith. We must learn to be open and real.” Joseph Iregbu, Author of SELAH: A 90-Day Journey of Grace and Hope

This year, I am launching into the deep. In purpose fulfillment, writing, giving hope, relationships and living a life that matters. The path that I know God is leading me this year is to launch into the deep seas where there could be storms, more danger in the waters, and turbulent winds. I believe the boat is safe. I believe that I am safe. My Savior sits with me in the boat resting. Effortlessly, He shall speak calmly, “Peace be still.”

We shall continue to declare that we have no regrets, no fear, no shame and no anger. In the coming months, I shall walk with you on the journey to find your authentic self and answering the above questions – hopefully with more clarity.

I pray that each word I share will be an encouragement. I also welcome you to share your life lessons with us. I am no expert, but I have a passion to help you journey through life with renewed hope and live an impactful life.

Join me in coming posts as we answer these and many more questions. I value your feedback and your support as you read and share.

Are you real? Are you authentic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Hebrews 4:12-13 Expanded Bible (EXB)

12 [For] God’s word is alive and ·working [active; powerful; effective] and is sharper than a double-edged sword. It ·cuts all the way into us, where the soul and the spirit are joined, to the center of our joints and bones [penetrates until it divides even soul and spirit, joints and marrow]. And it ·judges [discerns] the ·thoughts [ideas] and ·feelings [attitudes; intentions] in our hearts. 13 ·Nothing in all the world [Nothing in all creation; or No creature] can be hidden from God. Everything is ·clear [naked] and ·lies open before him [exposed to his eyes], and to him we must ·explain the way we have lived [give an account; answer].

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL

2013-01-25T13:06:00.001+03:00

I recently read a magazine headlined, “Whatever Happened to Patience?” The cover photo has an image of people waiting in line at a tax office obviously impatient. The woman at the counter was arguing and seems to have taken so long going by the faces of those waiting/ or could we say forced to wait by circumstances beyond their control.

To remain committed in the journey and with perseverance in life, we have to watch out for this enemy that lurks in the corner - Impatience.

People normally say about themselves, “I am not a patient person” or “I am not patient with such people.” Personally I think impatience has grown popular in this day and age. We are always looking for the next big thing, the faster way to execute a job – so much so, that we miss the mark.

Good things come to those who wait.

Granted, patience is a virtue. I think until we face the ugliness of the effects of some habits, we can’t and maybe won’t see the need of adopting other habits.

Impatience causes frustration, anger and stress – related issues.

Consider the growth of an oak tree. An acorn seed takes 3-6 months to germinate into a sapling. “The growth process is a slow one, with white oaks producing new growth at a rate of 10 to 15 feet within a span of 10 to 12 years, according to the Clemson University Extension. Though growth is slow, white oaks have a life expectancy surpassing 100 years.” (Source in the link below) Can you imagine an oak tree can live up to 1000 years? If the acorn can wait that long, what are you getting overly impatient for?

photo credit: Steve Clancy via photopin creative commons

There are various impatience triggers ranging from the simplest to the most complex (depending on your perception). Waiting for an elevator, reading through a book, church services, electioneering periods, a couple waiting for a child from God, saving to buy a home, expanding a business, working towards your area of purpose – we would not be able to exhaustively name them here. Even as simple waiting for a bus or having to be stuck in a traffic jam.

What gets to us most about having to wait is the possibility of being denied what we are waiting for, especially when we are under circumstances out of our control. And the more we try to control these things, the more we get frustrated. The only person we can change, or control is ourselves. Once we change, only then can we influence others to change.

Developing patience

Patience is an inside job.

Love is patient. Love is the root of patience. If you understand that you are loved by God, you will love yourself and ultimately love others. You will be patient with God because you know that He is patient with you. You will be patient with yourself and in turn be patient with others. With every trial you face in life – your patience grows. Trials come from the outside environment, and are meant to test your faith.

Will you be still, will you be quiet, assured that you have a Father looking after your best interest? He not only precedes and prepares for you the place where you are going; He also prepares you for that time and place.

It must have taken a lot of patience for Abraham to wait 25 years for God’s promise to be fulfilled in getting Isaac as a son. He got a bit impatient and had a son with a servant, Hagar. But God’s promise was still fulfilled when he was 100 years while Sarah was 90 years then. We now call him the “Father of Nations.”

Here is my take, let us take moments to smell the roses, enjoy the warmth of the sun during the day, and laugh out loud. Take moments to linger and reflect; invest in close relationships with those whom you care deeply about. Help a friend. Buy lunch for a hungry kid on the street. Random acts of kindness. Do today what you can. When tomorrow comes, you will deal with whatever comes your way.

While you are waiting, worry less and work on changing you. Be the BEST you (you) can be.

Maybe, delay is good. Delay may mean that better things are coming your way. Delay may also mean that you need to develop endurance and a strong character for what awaits you in the future.

Delay after all, is not denial.

What are your impatience triggers? What has been your experience with delays and growing in patience?

James 1:2-4 (MSG) Faith Under Pressure

2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Resources: Growth Rate of Oak Trees

Five Ways to Stay Committed Despite the Odds

2013-01-04T16:08:00.000+03:00

Commitment connotes an obligation, or a pledge or promise you personally make without any external push to do the same.

Whether to God, in relationships, our responsibilities, a change of habits, or goals, we have at a point committed to one thing, person or event.

Think of climbing a mountain. I did that recently and was shocked at how 2,780 m (9,180 ft) turned out to be a challenge. In the journey I experienced shortness of breath, headache, body weakness and nausea. Despite it all, I committed myself to finish the ascent. The sights were amazing, I made friends and sticking it through was well worth it at the end.


Photo Credit: Tim Brauhn via Photo Pin

How can we stay committed despite insurmountable odds? Let us consider these five ways that will help us in stay committed:

Be Content

Life is really a journey of climbing mountains per say. There are two options for rating our experience, either by the journey during the climb or the destination which is the top of the mountain. Think of a goal to lose weight – we either enjoy the daily jogging regime (journey) or have aching pains of not attaining an ideal weight (destination).

Most times we base our contentment on the destination we desire to reach in a future time. “I will be contented when I reach the cliff...” Sooner or later, you will get to your destination.

True contentment is in the now, during the journey to the top. Enjoy the climb, gasp at the scenery, and bask in your progress.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

Avoid Making Comparisons

Why do we compare ourselves with others, as if one of us is better and another worse? I find comparisons really a reflection on our own personal insecurities.

It is good to read biographies and learn from people – desire to emulate their good traits.

Each of us is an original. So our journeys and circumstances unique. Compete with yourself if you must.

Keep Hope Alive

Hope is a joyful expectation that looks past the present circumstances. Hope says “It's possible”, even when all else seems lost.

ACT on Knowledge

Many accumulate knowledge and stack it up in a physical library of books or in their brains which can store a staggering amount of data, facts and figures.

If you never ACT on that knowledge it would be just as good as if you never had it in the first place. Mentally waiting on things to magically change without your participation – is too presumptuous on your part.

The acronym ACT may help in handling knowledge – choose to Apply, Change or Teach something from every aspect of knowledge accumulated.

Nurture Discipline

Apathy is an indifference to what we learn or know and lethargy is laziness towards the same.

In sharp contrast, discipline means doing what you need to do especially when you don't feel like it. Nurture discipline to stay committed while watching against apathy and lethargy.

Proverbs 16:3

Roll your works upon the LORD [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so your plans shall be established and succeed.

(Amplified Version)

Do you encounter difficulties with keeping commitments? How else can you stay committed in your journey?

Happy New Year to every one of my readers.

2012 was a great year being my first in blogging. I appreciate each of you for reading, the feedback and the support you have offered me.

I pray that 2013 will certainly be greater for all of us. I thank God for the opportunity to yet again share with you. May we continue to be an encouragement to each other.

Perseverance

2012-12-21T17:56:00.001+03:00

I wonder what comes to mind when you hear the word persevere.

To me it has a sense of waiting. A time of difficulty and great opposition. When what we perceive as success individually seems so close yet so far.

Photo Credit : duncan via Creative Commons

Persevere (From the Merriam- Webster dictionary)

Synonyms: carry on, persist, gut it out, hang in there

Related Words: hang on, keep up, follow through (with), knuckle down (to apply oneself earnestly)

Near Antonyms: give up, knock off, quit; bow, give in, submit, succumb, surrender, yield; falter, hang back, hesitate, shilly-shally, vacillate, waver, wobble (also wabble)

God will speak individually to each according to His will.

Today, I come to encourage you in your journey. With the assurance that there are great things God will do for you. His promises are sure and His Word never fails.

2 Peter 3:9 (Amplified Version)

The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.

Who likes to wait? Maybe the correct question is, who doesn't have to wait?

Anything that has to bypass the process of waiting is usually half-baked. Imagine having to eat half-baked bread in the morning, or buying an earthen pot that is unfinished because it refused to go through the whole shaping process.

Isaiah 45:9-10 (Message Version)

Does clay talk back to the potter: ‘What are you doing? What clumsy fingers!’ Would a sperm say to a father, ‘Who gave you permission to use me to make a baby?’ Or a fetus to a mother, ‘Why have you cooped me up in this belly?’

You are the clay in the potter's (God's) hands.

This is an excerpt from Matthew Henry's Commentary of Isaiah 28:27-29:

Afflictions are God's threshing instruments, designed to loosen us from the world, to separate between us and our chaff, and to prepare us for use. He shall proportion them to our strength; they shall be no heavier than there is need.

Do you have fights around you and within fears, feeling like the disciples in a storm ready to perish?

We are humans and just as Israelites in the desert, God speaks comfortably to us. He has taken notice of our griefs and fears; what afflictions we are under; what distresses we are in and He knows what comforts our cases call for.

This is the definition of perseverance according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition

I don't know what difficulties are in your way and the opposition you have had to endure in your journey. My encouragement today is to ask you to carry on, persevere; no good fruit is borne out of giving up.

Prayerfully. faithfully love and cherish God. Trust Him and in due season you shall reap.

Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas, may this season be one of refreshing and renewal. May you find the peace and joy you seek only in God through Jesus Christ. I love you all.

Many 'Second Chances'

2012-11-29T18:25:00.000+03:00

Personally being given a second chance in life is a great feeling. It rejuvenates my attitude towards any given situation.

In fact, my attitude towards seemingly discouraging situations sometimes is the problem.

I hit a snag at work recently, I was receiving phone calls with clients making complaints and they needed help. My mind blanked out for some time. I simply couldn't think of a way to help.

After speaking with my superior, it just dawned on me - I had my perspective all wrong.

I had tuned into "I-CANT" instead of "HOW-CAN-I" help station.

That there was my second chance to redeem myself. Long story short, I managed to help even more than I had perceived I could.

photo credit: hyperion327 via photopin cc

Andrew M Greeley said, "We're given second chances every day of our life. We don't usually take them, but they're there for the taking"

Every day is a second chance

It might be cliché, but it's true. Everyday you wake up, you have a second chance at life. A second chance to live life better, and to do things better.

You get a second chance to forgive.

You can choose to love better.

Tell the people you love that you love them. More than telling them show them.

Forgive those that have wronged you. Give them a second chance.

I know we know that we are also imperfect, and sooner or later, we will need to be forgiven.

Failure is not fatal and Success is not final

Winston Churchill said that, I think he was talking about second chances.

It takes courage to stand up and dust yourself off from a failure with lessons.

It takes even more courage to walk away from perceived success knowing that there are more battles to be conquered.

Live right with God

If there is any one I know who is more gracious and merciful, it is God.

If you are looking for a second chance, I can't think of anyone better to look to than God.

Excerpted from Nehemiah 9:31-32 (MSG)
But when they called out for help in their troubles
    you listened from heaven;
And in keeping with your bottomless compassion
    you gave them saviors:
Saviors who saved them
    from the cruel abuse of their enemies.
But as soon as they had it easy again
    they were right back at it—more evil.
So you turned away and left them again to their fate,
    to the enemies who came right back.
They cried out to you again; in your great compassion
    you heard and helped them again.
    This went on over and over and over.

Do you need a second chance? What are second chances to you? Leave a comment below and share about the many second chances we have in life.

P.S. I lost a friend earlier yesterday. He inspired this post.

Excited to Guest Post at the Intentional Today Blog

2012-11-08T18:01:00.000+03:00

Today I am honored to be a Guest Blogger for Ngina Otiende at the Intentional Today blog where I share that Change Begins With Me.

Ngina is a writer and trainer who loves helping others take charge of their lives. She has a passion to see people reach their full potential through intentional growth and relationships. She is married to her hero and they live in Maryland. You can check out her blog Intentional Today, find her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

This is an excerpt from the post:

"Don't change the player, change the game." I recently heard these words in a movie. So often in life, I want the players to change.

Not me.

Them.

For example, I want my boss and colleagues to change. At home, I want my siblings to change.

Yet in all these circumstances...I happen to be the common factor - the only person that can actually change.

Without further ado, again here is the link to the post.

I appreciate you dropping by, whether or not this is your first time on this blog. Feel free to read the previous posts. Thank you.

An Unfinished House - Count The Cost

2012-10-25T18:01:00.000+03:00

Back as a kid, there was a house on the way to school that lay unfinished for the longest time. It seemed that the owners were so burdened, they could not finish constructing their house. From afar, it was a seemingly beautiful mansion, but when you took a closer look the house was abandoned and inhabitable.

How many unfinished houses can you count in your neighborhood?

"Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish."

Count the cost.

These three words give us the answer to unfinished houses.

Do we count the cost?

photo credit: bbcworldservice via photopin cc

An "unfinished house" is one which could be better, whose potential has been untapped, whose glory is hidden and whose treasure is unexplored. It could be a person, a relationship or areas of stagnation.

Using the concept of unfinished houses, lets apply that to our personal lives and use three areas in your life that could probably be unfinished:

Your personal life:

Have you ever considered that you are under construction? That probably you walk around with the sign, "Under Construction" on your forehead literally.

DaveArnold puts it this way, “The truth is, there are a lot of hungry people in the world. They’re hungry for meaning, hope, belonging and love. ”

I wonder if all these hungry people are getting filled from the right sources. I presume hunger would naturally as it does, prompt us to look to get filled. Sometimes we end up eating junk and ultimately junk is all that we produce.

We may find it expedient to go through the motions in life at the expense of what really matters. It is quite easy to stay defeated by other people's opinions. We can throw our hands in despair to say, “It cannot be done.” Quickly an assumption is stamped as the truth.

Can we afford to walk through life with our hands in the pocket? Count the cost.

Question assumptions you have made. Pass them through the test of truth, do they hold water. Jessica Cox holds a Guinness World Record 2011 as 'The First Armless Person in the World Ever to Have Obtained a Pilot’s License.' What are your perceived limitations?
Choose to frame your questions differently. You have to realize that asking the right question prompts a correct answer. 5 + 5 = ? is a question that closes your imagination while ? + ? = 10 opens up your imagination to endless possibilities.
Rather than pointing out problems, seek solutions. You can the missing link. Be the change.

Your relationships:

Our relationships are “Under Construction.” Since man is not an island, we can safely say that at any one point you will be dealing with other people.

How you relate with other people mirrors how you relate with yourself. They say that a wife mirrors the husband. The children mirror the home. A team is as strong as its weakest member.

“When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you are constructing a house, you start work with the architects drawing. It is a blueprint of what the end product will look like. People are similar. Treat them as potentials and they will blossom.

Areas of stagnation:

Stagnation is a sign of death. I know quite a strong statement but true nonetheless. “Unfinished houses” are stagnant. There is no change, you walk by from day to day and it is just the same. Frederick Douglass said, “Inaction is followed by stagnation. Stagnation is followed by pestilence and pestilence is followed by death.”

Familiarity breeds complacency. Whenever comfort begins you had better seek to move, since comfort borders so much on the danger zone. When everything is okay, they might not be okay after all.

Are there areas in your life that you perceive stagnancy? It may not take a day to change in that area. Begin with small steps. Ask the tough questions. Any area of unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, lying – you name it – needs to go for real growth to take its place.

I love how Floyd says it here, “There are times in life that we do the same thing; we ignore reality… It’s done with small things and bigger things alike...That’s the easiest thing to do isn’t it? Pretend it’s not there.”

It may not be easy, regardless choose to face reality today. Face your fears and choose to change what has been stagnant. Then you will begin to move past the familiar. Take action now.

What do "Unfinished houses" mean to you? Are you under construction and do we need to Count the cost? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

James 1:24

The Message (MSG)
22-24 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

Don't Waste Your Life

2012-10-04T18:26:00.001+03:00

You have only one life, spend it wisely. Don’t Waste Your Life!

It could seem obvious to everyone at first, but getting down to it personally: “How am I spending my life?” is a question we need to ponder on. What will matter, when you are no more – not breathing anymore? Will it be the wealth you accumulated, will it be the number of friends you made or even enemies?

Randy Travis sang about it in Three Wooden Crosses – “It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you; it’s what you leave behind you when you go.” Michael Josephson wrote about it in the well known poem, “What will Matter.” John Piper dedicated himself to find the opposite of a wasted life. Jesus lived a ‘NOT WASTED LIFE ‘and he offers us too the invitation to not waste our lives.

photo credit: pchow98 via photopin cc

I just celebrated my 2-Something birthday :) 25th Birthday to be exact and God has been gracious. This year for me has been one of endings, new beginnings and molding of character.

More than anything, I desire a life that glorifies God in me.

I will share 7 lessons I have learned in the two decades of my existence and I would only hope that it will resonate with you as much as it does with me. Michael Josephson says, “What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.”

1.    It’s not about ME.
Who do you look for first in a picture of you with family and friends? Don’t we all point to ourselves? “That’s me” we seem to say. In relationships, we always want to fight for our rights while fleeing responsibility. When something goes wrong, we first take it personally before analyzing to see the root causes.

•    It didn't happen to you as much as for you: We get engrossed in what happens to us, so much so, that we forget that it could be for our sake. I’ve learnt to ask more “What is the lesson?” questions instead of “Why me?” questions.
•    What doesn't break you makes you: Whatever trials we face are meant to build our character. If we forget that, it becomes a discouragement, instead of a growth moment. Every rejection we face is meant to push us further into lives of significance; we just have to choose to seek the opportunities instead of problems.
•    For so long, I prayed for God to change my circumstances: It was only until I agreed with God that I needed to change first, did I notice my circumstances start to change. I learnt that the weather didn’t have to change. I had to change my perception of the weather first and later notice that rain was also good weather.

Who is it about then, glad you asked…

2.    It’s about God and other people.
Jesus gave two great commandments and both have to do with love. Love for God, love for self and love for others.

Love is the essence of who God is and He loved us even when we were unlovable.

I have learned that only God loves perfectly and He can teach me to do the same.

You cannot give what you don’t have. We obtain a healthy self worth from what God says about us and then treat others as such.

Treat them as we would want to be treated.

3.    It’s never too late to dream again.
Dreams don’t die – we just bury them alive.

Dreams are given to us by the Creator. The creation cannot seek meaning apart from seeking answers from the Creator.

Sooner or later, you dream your childhood dreams again, after a season of mediocrity. The catch is you have to act on the dream – pursue it. Contend with your fears again and again. Risk failure. Risk success. Fail forward, and don’t give up.

Seek God during the process and be intentional in your pursuit daily.

4.    Forgiveness frees the forgiver.
This one was not an easy lesson for me personally. Especially because those closest to you: “deserve to know when they have hurt you and must say sorry at the very least.” At least, that is what I thought.

I learned it the hard way. If I don’t forgive, the prisoner held hostage is me. The biggest loser is me. Even when my offenders are not sorry, I have to love myself enough to forgive them.

Only then will I be able to claim my love for them and live beyond the hurt. Every other lesson I have learned is pegged on forgiveness.

I would hope that you would analyze your life too and ask whether you harbor any bitterness or anger against anyone even if it’s God. Deal with it now or it will deal with you.

Whoever said time heals wounds, didn’t consider that it is also a personal choice. You make the choice to forgive, not time.

5.    Failure is never final.
Both the moon and the sun know what time to shine and we should too. It takes patience and perseverance. Your time to shine will ultimately come but you have to put up with making numerous mistakes along the way.

We seem to learn more from the struggles and the failure than what we perceive as success.

Don’t give up. Quit. Fall. Rise up and try again.

The difference between try and triumph is a little bit of "UMPH!"

6. Learning never stops, if it does you stop living.
We don’t literally die when we stop learning. No, life just stops making much sense. Pieces in the puzzle don’t seem to fit. And rightly so.

No one knows everything if you ask me. That is why we need to keep learning.

And you will never know everything. That is why you decide to put your energies into one thing and become great in it.

Obstacles to learning include pride and ungratefulness. Develop a teachable spirit and life becomes an easier journey for everyone.

7. Be grateful.
Do you notice that breathing is a reflex action which you do not get to choose? Waking up from bed healthy is a gift.

Every day is a present you do not deserve yet you have.

I don’t know about you. Personally, saying ‘Thank You’ and really meaning it makes life worth living.

It pushes me to live a life of significance – where mere existence is pushed in the backseat and making a difference becomes priority.

When we say thanks often, we become humble. It keeps us in the know that life could not be lived on our own and for ourselves alone.

Regrets – they are just a waste of time. Learn the lesson and move on living in the present and looking to the uncharted future.

Fears only stall our progress if we let them; courage is not the absence of fear but the conquest of it.

Shame leads to a mediocre life – Jesus was shamed more than anyone in this life and yes He rose again.

Anger – only stifles your growth more than the offenders’. Life for them may just be getting better while yours is dwindling.

Choose a new beginning with no regrets, no fear, no shame and no anger. This is what this blog is all about.

We are all here to learn and to teach. Please share your lessons as well in the comment section. What is a wasted life to you?

Matthew 16 Amplified Bible (AMP)

²⁵For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].

You are Not a Victim

2012-09-28T17:42:00.001+03:00

These words changed and continue to change the course of my life and I pray that you would see the truth in them too. Good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, happy or sad, fair or unfair – you own your life.

“You are accountable for your life. You have always been accountable. You will always be accountable. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If your relationships are on the rocks, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable.” (Phillip McGraw, Life Strategies Page 56)

You are not a victim. This may not be easy to accept for some, nonetheless it is the real deal. It is a deal breaker. Responsibility begins when you accept this truth. Responsibility is about accepting that you make decisions in your life and that you own the consequences for those decisions. Good or bad.

You are not a victim

It is not the weather, neither is it your angry boss nor is it your parents' fault. It is not the government, nor is it the economy. No, your husband is not at fault, your children are also not the cause of your problems and your wife didn't ruin your life.

Maybe you went through a traumatic loss, rejection or experience such as physical rape, when you were a child. You might not have had the knowledge or power to make certain choices as a child and therefore you were not accountable then.

From the point when you had the knowledge or power to make choices, you became accountable for your life.

The past is behind us and the future is not yet with us. We deal in the present because this is where we are. Today is the present, it is God's gift to us.

You choose now how to respond to everything that happened in your life.

Here is what a victim says: “They are all out to get me.”

Here is what an accountable person says, “I am responsible.”

Are you honest about getting well or do you just want to manipulate others with your condition?

A victim seeks to draw sympathy and excuse themselves from the problems in their lives. They complain, pout, blame, everyone and everything else apart from themselves. They seem to desire change but all they draw to themselves are the circumstances they endlessly complain about.

An accountable person is the one who realizes they are responsible for every choice and every consequence in their lives. They own the problem, they accept that they are part of the problem and also own the task of finding a solution.

Do you want to get well? If yes, accept accountability for your life. If no, remember you are not a victim.

What are your thoughts? How has realizing that you are not a victim changed the course of your life?

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John 5:6-7 (Message Version)

When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?”
⁷The sick man said, “Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.”

God-sized Goals

2012-09-12T17:35:00.000+03:00

We have talked about goals already. I am sure you have heard about them over and over. Allow me to indulge you in a AHA-moment I had recently. I read on a blog I follow, a post titled 3 reasons why vision goals are inseparable and it got me asking - "Are my goals God-sized, can I accomplish them without God working with me?"

To give you a quick introduction:

A vision is a mental picture of what you see your future holds. It has been said that your feet will never take you where your mind has never been. You first take the journey through your minds eye before you start walking.

Goals are specific steps to help you attain the vision. They give you a sense of direction. You have to know where you are going (vision) to follow the right path (goals).

God gives us a vision, then He takes us through a process.

Our part to play is to hold on through the process. To let God shape us into who He desires of us. And to do that we have to set goals and work towards attaining them.

Success is what you attract by the person you become. Jim Rohn

Sometimes we let our own complacency, comfort-zones and negative attitudes get in the way of the vision God has given us.

Here are questions you need to ask:

Have you set humanly impossible goals?
Do your goals motivate you, do they excite you?
Do they force you to ask, "What was I thinking?" after reading them?

If they don't capture all the above - you could be planning to work alone at attaining them. You could be working with human probabilities and this means there is a likelihood of them not coming to fruition.

Your goals have to be centered on God's limitless possibilities.

If your vision truly comes from God, then you have to align your goals with His working through you.

You can't risk wasting precious time on probability analysis of the goals.

Think of the vision as a cake and you only need two great ingredients that must work together :-

Faith: This is the strong conviction that the vision is possible despite the circumstances, surroundings, dissenting voices - you will only succeed if your belief rises above seeming impossibilities.
Deliberate action: Take specific deliberate action to follow through on your faith. Be flexible to change the actions when you deem it necessary, just remember that the destination remains constant.

Hebrew 11:1 (Amplified Version) says, Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].

James 2:17 (Amplified Version) says, So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead).

You have to step of the boat. Stamp out of mediocrity, wave goodbye to the masses and start being uncomfortable with safety in numbers.

Do you perceive that God called you out from the darkness (lack of knowledge) to shine light into the world?

Is it important to set God-sized goals? What do you think would be different if God backs your commitment to goals? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Habakkuk 2:2-3

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by.

³For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.

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Are You Waiting on Somebody?

2012-09-06T16:33:00.001+03:00

Today, I watched a sad story of a lady who in less than one year has gone from a renown athlete to a deplorable state. All these questions about what happened for the situation to get to where it did, what can be done and who can help popped up in my mind.

"Understand that your current results are the direct outcome of the past. The past does not equal the future." Excerpt from the book, Born to Achieve by David Muriithi

I think more disheartening than anything is people's reaction to the story. Everybody has an opinion, an analysis about the causes for the problem or better yet a solution to offer. But like most stories, no one does anything good out of all the reactions.

Please take a few minutes to intentionally read this ancient story. It is about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

I wonder where you fall in place. Are you Everybody, Somebody, Anybody or Nobody?

There is an Acappella song that also speaks on this by the title, "Everybody said, but Nobody did", the chorus says:

Everybody said that anybody could do
The important things somebody should do
Everybody knows that anybody could do
All the good things that nobody did

Are you waiting on somebody to do the good and the important things that nobody is doing?

You are the Somebody, you are waiting on.

Here are a few points to ponder on:

There is a lot of bad, but there is also a lot of good from the bad - depends on which end you want get in on.
Stories open your mind up to the needs, what you are faced with after are decisions to make and actions to take.
We can't do everything but we can do something.
Most times we see the humongous impossibilities, when what we need to pay attention to are the immediate needs.
You are the Somebody Everybody is waiting on.
You are the Somebody, you are waiting on.

I wonder what stories you listen to everyday. What story captures your heart, that you feel the push to do something?

Are you waiting on Somebody else to act?

Stop waiting. You already know what ought to be done. Realize you can do it, you have to start now using the resources you have.

Those who take action, rather than wait on Somebody find more fulfillment in life.

If you want to watch the song on YouTube please click the link below:
Everybody Said, but Nobody did

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Philippians 3

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹²Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

Moving towards "What Moves You"

2012-08-31T17:48:00.000+03:00

What Moves You?

We move out of old houses, old neighborhoods, old territories and move into new houses, new neighborhoods, and new territories time after time. Change is inevitable. We don't like change and sometimes we don't anticipate it. We fight change most times. Others move into new relationships, implement new business ideas and form new alliances.

Anatole France said it better:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

The word move has various meanings, we shall focus on just these two:

Take action
Provoke a strong feeling, esp. of sorrow or sympathy, anger

Anybody can either be frustrated or fascinated by what they see in their daily lives; only a few take action or are provoked to compassion. Mostly compassion ultimately compels one into taking action.

How to be moved

A 'seeing eye' will sometimes not see, and a 'hearing ear' does not always hear.

To see, or hear -- you must feel after you see and again listen to what you hear.

Many people walk past beggars on the street daily without as much as a look. I am guilty of that a number of times. Only a few notice the despair on their faces, even fewer care to ask why they are on the streets, and only a select few decide to buy them a decent meal.

Is it the loss of hope, the orphans, the abortions, poverty of the mind, poor living conditions, wasted resources, the lack of morals, youth wasting their lives, disintegrating family values, faulty leadership, propaganda in the media... what cry captures your listening ear, what situation gets you really angry and provokes you to action?

How to move towards what moves you

It is not about you
You being born was not the grandest event on earth. It is what you do for others that makes your life really count.

Forget yourself

No one who is selfish ever went out of his way to help others. You have to be selfless. Think about others more than you do about yourself.

What do you have in your hand?

Start with what is in your hand. You don't need millions of money to give a smile or to speak out against the ills in the society.

Is there any building that starts with the roof being put up first? You start with the foundation and gradually add the supports.

For anything to succeed, you start small; not big. Mother Theresa believed that sometimes we feel what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

Most times we see the vast ocean, we don't remember the drops of water that make up the ocean. Just as there are no small drops, no contribution is small. Start with what you have and grow from there.

You might fail

The key word here is might. Until you start, you will not know if the probability has a chance to materialize. When you do fail, it will be after you have started and that will not be a failure. Choose to fail forward and pick up the lessons as you go.

Don't listen to dissenting voices

"You can't." "Others have tried and failed."

When dissenting voices speak against you, ask yourself two questions

Do they feel as strongly as you do?
Have any of them taken action yet?

Most times people criticize what they don't understand.

Learn from others

There are those who have tried and failed forward. Borrow their wisdom. Connect with them through books, seminars, one on one. Do whatever it takes to learn the rules of the trade and then follow them.

Leo Tolstoy said

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

The truth is moving has an action-reaction effect. The decision to move will require you to stretch - the change to be effected without must start from within - and it is a process. A process of forming a character able to effect the change you desire.

If you don't yet know what moves you, you owe it to yourself to make it a lifelong pursuit, until you do. You won't come up empty.

If you know what moves you, then start moving towards what moves you.

If you have already started moving, keep moving and share your insights with others.

Do you know what moves you? How else can we move "towards what moves us." Please share your views in the comment section below.

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Mark 8

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁸‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’

Pure Gold Character

2012-08-15T09:48:00.002+03:00

Walking even with no end in sight

In every journey there is a path to follow. Some choose to travel through the less traveled on road ~ a road as Robert Frost said:

"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

I believe every person's journey is unique; but the choices each of are faced with along the journey are the same. To some the journey is treacherous, we are weary from the baggage, the valleys seem to go deeper ~ the real choice is whether we will give up and quit or we will keep moving forward.

I know of a young boy Joseph in the Bible. He was the darling of his father Jacob. For this reason his brothers despised him. He had a crazy dream about his 11 brothers bowing before him. He shared the dream with them probably not grasping it's meaning at the time. Now that fueled his brothers' hatred towards him the more. They even plotted to kill him. Luckily Reuben the eldest saved him and Judah another brother suggested they sell him as a slave to some foreigners. Fast forward after serving as a slave and a prison sentence albeit on a false accusation; he became Governor of Egypt and true to His dreams his brothers bowed before him.

Joseph's journey to Governor inspires me to know that the dreams I have will see the light of day. What I don't understand or have trouble with is the process of it.

The valleys don't seem to make sense, the storms seem too strong to bear.

In life, your character is formed during the tests and trials. The process to obtain pure gold involves melting of scrap gold in a furnace to separate the impurities from the gold. Just the same way you will have to go through a furnace of sorts, a fire, a dark alley ~ to obtain a character that is unshakeable when your dreams become reality.

Most times we are not patient during the purifying process, we push for the dream to become reality. We wish to bypass the process and make it unscathed. That is a pipe dream. Be willing to endure. Be willing to learn. Be teachable. Allow yourself to be moulded.

I always wonder, do you ever hear good stories without struggle, without enduring pain, without overcoming of the suffering. Mandela had to endure 27 years of political imprisonment before he became president, before his dream of independent South Africa was realized. Just like you, I love the part of the story about gaining independence, but the story would not be complete without the imprisonment.

Helen Keller said, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

If you won't loose heart during the process, you will surely see the reality of your dream. Keep Moving Forward. You need to develop 'larger feet' to fit into the vision you have.

God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. Oswald Chambers

When you bypass the furnace, you will get through to the other side but the joy won't last. You will realize that you shortchanged yourself. You got the raw deal. Keep the faith, choose to endure and don't let the want for ease or the hurry, steal the joy that awaits you. Be patient and let a pure gold character be developed. In the end, you will be grateful that you waited.

1 Samuel 7

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹²Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah.He named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!”

Don't Just Dream, ACT

2012-07-24T12:20:00.000+03:00

I recently shared about dreams and awakening our dreams. There is a creeping dream buster called inaction, which can also be labeled mediocrity. Life sometimes happens, some say. Time went too fast, after college, job(s), marriage, kids, grandkids; there was never enough time to pursue your dreams.

If it were an analogy we would probably agree that “The dream got drowned in the vast ocean of life.”

The question that would naturally arise is, “Who submerged the dream in that vast ocean of life?” Was it the job(s), perhaps the responsibility that one has in marriage...or are we probably just finding comfort in blaming everything and everyone but ourselves?

Action is not 'easy' but it is the only thing we have to do, take specific actions on our dreams. We fear that we might fail or that people will ridicule us if we fail.

Most of the time when on a dance floor, the ones criticizing your moves are those sitting on the sidelines.

There is no short-cut to realizing our dreams. It takes work and deliberate specific action on your part.

I wonder if you've ever seen a baby learning to take their first steps. They move from one support object to the next being really careful not to trip. It takes time to learn and they will surely fall severally while learning the tricks. Eventually, they walk without any support objects.

What if the baby decided to sit and crawl simply because it was too hard to walk? What would you do as a parent?

Begin taking baby steps to achieve your dreams

Secrets to taking action:

It won't be easy but it will be worth it. Nothing good comes easy.
You have to be your own best friend and motivator. The dream is yours so no one will help you if you don't help yourself.
It will take time to learn the tricks. Don't be in a rush for quick-fixes.
Be prepared to trip while taking action. You will make mistakes, learn the lessons and push forward.
There will always be people who ridicule you, most of the time, they don't understand the dream as you do. “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” ― Winston Churchill
Ask for help when the going gets tough. There are always people who have been through the road you are on.

Goals are dreams with deadlines.

Specific steps:

Write down the dream.
Write the specific actions that need to be undertaken to achieve the goal.
Write down dates when you hope to have achieved each goal. This will help you measure progress.
Share your dream with people whom you can trust. This will keep you accountable.
Adjust the goals and deadlines appropriately as you progress.

To live your life fully, you have to take action. Take it now! As Jim Rohn said, "You do not find what you need, you find what you search for."

Matthew 7 (PHILLIPS)

7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you. Search and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you. The one who asks will always receive; the one who is searching will always find, and the door is opened to the man who knocks.”

Dreaming Awake

2012-07-18T09:32:00.000+03:00

Each of us has dreams.
Of a better tomorrow.
Not of a better yesterday.
Yesterday is gone, so we dream of tomorrow.

Some of us dream only while sleeping.
Some when awake.
Big or small, all are dreams.
Mental pictures of what we envision.

I had big dreams as a child.

Back then we celebrated each others dreams.

Now we just laugh with our mouths.
Our hearts cry in secret.

We still desire that the dreams have a chance.

I watch those living their dreams with awe.
As if they are an alien species.
Unconscious of the journey,
Of perseverance in the storms.

Some say their dreams died.
I just buried mine alive.
Along with that dreamer child,
I will exhume them today.

Martin Luther Jr. said, “I have a dream.”
That dream came true.
You see I now understand.
Dreams don't die,
We just bury them alive.

Declare your dream,
Set the sails,
Change direction when necessary,
Don't lose sight of the dream.

Believe in the dream becoming reality,
And God the giver of the dream,
Start dreaming again,
Impossibility is only in the mind.

With untapped potential,
Dreamers cultivate patience,
Work on the dream against the storm,
And don't give up!

Response – Ability and the Three Channels

2012-07-02T09:13:00.001+03:00

Response and ability. These two words seem to make up the word responsibility. How you respond to the events in your life; and how you utilize the ability you have at your disposal will ultimately determine how responsible you are.

From changing a toddler's nappies, making a bed, to cleaning a mess that was made by someone other than yourself. These and many more events call for responsibility.

Imagine a football game where the two opposing teams never score because both teams could never hold ball possession until they score as a team. In such a match, it's always about how “I have an injury, I can't play” or “It's so and sos fault, he didn't tackle well enough” or worse “After all I've done for this team, if they won't consider giving me a pay rise, what's the use?” The three looming enemies of responsibility : “Excuses club, Blame game and Complain mode” Channels.

If you are always feeling inadequate, cheated on or shortchanged; that is a victim mentality – chances are you are not responsible in that area. And you will remain irresponsible as long as you choose to be a victim.

Remaining a victim of circumstances is a state of being that we choose, a choice that:
[1] allows us to blame other people
[2] lets us blame circumstances
[3] permits us to avoid responsibility for our lives
[4] encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves, and
[5] guarantees that we will stay victims.
No one has to be a victim!" (Ben Carson, M.D., Think Big (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1992), p. 248].

I wonder what Channel, you are tuned to at any one point. When something goes wrong, as it is bound to, how do you respond? When someone messes up a project, do you do anything other than equate blame? Do you constantly whine about the ifs, could haves, would haves?

Rome wasn't built in a day. While we could be quick outdoing each other to point out at problems, if we gave it a bit of thought, we would actually have to admit that we had a part to play in the mess. The messes are as a result of gradual irresponsibility on our part. Adam and Eve are good examples of “Blame game” Channel. They blamed each other for the grievous sin of eating the fruit from the tree.

Where there is a problem, there is also opportunity. Opportunity to change, opportunity for growth, opportunity for better solutions. You could as well see it is as a difficulty. See it as an impossible situation. Consequently, you will then not use your ability to effect change. Your response will be to make excuses, to blame or complain.

Walking in the streets, you come across many people. The ones that amaze me are those who sit on the street at one spot daily, are not impaired in any way and choose begging as a day-to-day activity. I realize that I won't be any better than these guys if I am not responding to the problems I face daily in the right way. If my ability to tackle problems is interpreted as inability or disability, I am as good as those in the street. My day will be a torturous one filled with whining and no action.

Just because you have a dream doesn't make you any better than those who don't have one. You could just be as miserable as they are. What puts you apart is taking the response-ability to bring the dream to fruition. That takes work. You have to be willing to face fear, opposition, take risks and make mistakes. Even start the process afresh. This time better equipped.

Being responsible is a choice. You grow into responsibility as with many of life's choices. If you prove to be responsible with little, then you will be trusted to be responsible with even more. Whether or not your dream becomes a reality, choose to live responsibly. Daily purge yourself off of the three channels. You will gradually be a victor over your circumstances and the one who effects change.

2 Peter 1:5-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, ⁶and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, ⁷and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
⁸The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Missing Pieces of the Puzzle

2012-06-27T14:27:00.000+03:00

"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." T.S. Eliot

Life is a puzzle. A puzzle that seems impossible at the beginning. It seems that the pieces don't quite fit into the whole piece of art. We look for the beautiful picture in life only to see cracks, holes, missing pieces, brokenness and a clear mess of this and that. Desperately we try to make sense of the mess, so we make other messes altogether. We are back to where we began in the puzzle.

We long for things, and feel as if our hearts are tired in the longing. Once we find what we long for the search seems futile. The maze seems bigger, seems like we are lost, there is a looming possibility we couldn't get out of the maze. Desperately we trace our steps to try to make sense of where we would have missed the other path. We are back to where we began in the maze.

Where did we begin?

We began as children, knowing our world way before we made our arrival on earth. We were not innocent, maybe naïve but still knew how to get our way if adults were not watchful. The good thing is we were open to ideas, open to criticism, happy at new discoveries, content in whatever state in life, ready to make messes, looking for solutions, clean them up and make messes again.

Where are we now?

We grew up too fast. We matured into adults. Adults who didn't learn how to think but what to think. We learnt that to have things of our own – we had to do by going to school. We learnt that to be accepted – we had to do by behaving within the societal norms and standards. In order to be artists, masons, doctors, teachers, IT specialists, CEO's – we had to do courses and degrees that probably we didn't like. Our mission in life is now to have, have, have.

We have accumulated information, it is called knowledge, but we like to say we are wise. Imposing this knowledge on our children is what we know best. They need to learn without exploring. They can't make mistakes, they have to avoid them. How else do we think they will survive? Our instincts tell us to avoid mistakes, to stay comfortable, to not ask too many questions. Especially, don't question your life, no, don't question the status quo, don't even question the social ills in society.

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.” C.S. Lewis

The real answer to the puzzle which is a combination of our beginning and the now lies in three words – be, do, have. These are the missing, maybe even misplaced pieces in the puzzle.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

BE: We have to understand that everyone is unique, your fingerprints are a clue to that. You were packaged as a gift to this world laden with great potential. You may have tried to repackage yourself growing up. That only made the mess more messier. The solution is unpackage yourself. Open the package. Until you open it, you will remain a good package, collecting dust and nothing to show for it.

“What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been.” Palmer Parker

DO: The truth is who you are is God's gift to the world. Once we open the package, we need to share our gifts and talents with those around you. We could stay at the level of having opened the package but if we don't share those gifts, we now become a beautiful gift, with no use to anyone.

“If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.” Thomas A. Edison

HAVE: Our packages are open, our gifts and talents are of use to others, we now acquire fulfillment, and our needs are met through our engagement with those around us.

“Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.” Conrad Hilton

Trying is Not Failing, Failing is not Trying

2012-06-14T11:45:00.000+03:00

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me,

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.

The waves they keep on telling me,

Time and time again. “Boy, you'll never win!”

“You'll never win.”

Lyrics of the song, “Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns”

Have you tried your hand at something recently and failed? I would like to introduce us to a new concept today. The concept is: 'If you tried, you have not failed.' Failure is not trying at all. You may choose to NOT TRY hence FAIL because of fear of failure or past failures.

Many of us have dreams. The definition of a dream is an aspiration or ambition that seem as ideals. The dreams remain just that until we put action into achieving the dreams. You have to have deadlines as to when to achieve them; the dreams then cease to be just dreams but measurable goals.

The hardest part of execution of any goal is starting. We think of the risk of failure and distance ourselves from even the thought of starting, we ask, “What if I fail?”. There are always two sides of the coin, just as there is failure, there is also success. Have you ever counted the number of letters of each of these two words? Both have seven letters which means there is an equal chance of occurrence of either success or failure. Instead ask, “What if I succeed?”

The question today is, “Have you tried doing to do something with what you have now?” Don't quit before you try otherwise you fail. Let's assume you don't succeed, every time you face obstacles and difficulties, let them instruct you as opposed to obstructing you. The obstacles tell you how not to go about it the next time you try.

Don't stop trying!

Have you heard of Thomas Edison known mostly for his invention of the light bulb? He tried 10,000 times before he got it right. Do you think you would have been able to stand those number of tries until the finish? In a race, it is not about how many times you fell along the way, or even the hurdles you had to get through. It is about those who made it to the finish line.

Always remember, you are going through the race to the finish line. Start the race, fall and stand up again. Many fall along the tracks in the race and stay down. Choose to stand, dust yourself off and continue running even with more vigor than the last time. Choose to try. Try again and continue trying. That is really what the journey to success entails.

Choose the voice you will listen today. Is it the waves that remind you, “You'll never win” or is it the voice that says, “You'll win, just try and continue trying.”?

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

A Story of Forgiveness

2012-05-28T17:58:00.000+03:00

A King gets a poor guy, let's call him Tom, that owes him 100,000 dollars. Of course that's a lot of cash, so he wants Tom, his family and all his goods to be auctioned off. Tom begs to be given time to pay back. But the King does something much bigger than that. He forgives Tom of all the debt and erases it, as if he never owed the King anything.

Please forgive me...

Oh, so Tom goes on with life (because it does go on...) and he meets his friend, Tim, who owes him 10 dollars. That's a lot of money right, according to Tom it could help pay back what he owes the king.

The thing is Tom has never believed that the King erased his debt. His plea was that he be given time to pay back. Tom has been going on with life trying to pay back.

Tom gets Tim by the throat and asks that he pays up...Same script, Tim is so poor he can't. He begs to be given time. But this time, Tom wouldn't do that. Tim is thrown in jail until he pays up.

Word gets to the King. Tom did the unthinkable. The king says to Tom, "I erase $100,000 debt and you don't have mercy on Tim for $10 dollars." Of course, the King puts Tom in jail to be tortured until he pays up.

Whose debt do you have to pay back? Whose debt have you not forgiven today? Who have you thrown to jail because of the $10 dollars until they pay up?
Do you expect the one who you owe the $100,000 to forgive you still and you are holding the $10 guy at their throat to pay up?

The lesson is, God erased all your debt. You owe Him nothing. God was merciful to you. But you go around putting all the people who owe you in jail until they pay up. Just like Tom, you'll be tortured until you pay back $100,000 which you can't pay back for.

The torture could mean the pain, the hurt, the load you carry because of not forgiving. Don't peg your forgiveness on people paying back the debt, God didn't and He expects you to do the same. Leave God to work on the people in your life all you have to do is love yourself enough to forgive.

Love yourself enough to forgive : "Unforgiveness is like taking poison but expecting someone else to die."

Matthew 18 ³⁴Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

³⁵“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sistersfrom your heart.”

Authenticity

2012-05-21T15:46:00.001+03:00

Our definition of perfection, “being entirely without fault or defect; satisfying all requirements; corresponding to an ideal standard.”

God's definition of perfection, “being in Christ; live upright and throughly furnished unto all good works.”

We live in a perfectionist world. Parents who want a perfect child, who won't make mistakes. Children who seek perfect records, to be in everyone's good book. Adults who seek perfect mates, to be treated just how they want to. Man and woman who seek perfect marriages, for their expectations to be met. The truth is its all a lie. Who is perfect except God? Everyone is imperfect but striving for perfection. Talk of water mixing with oil. Ain't going to happen soon. You will never be perfect and neither will other people. God doesn't want you to be perfect. Yes, He loved you in your imperfection. He loved you anyway. How much more when you accept His forgiveness and love? Stop the endless dancing to the songs, 'If only...I could...I should...I would'
God loves you anyway. He says 'Come just as you are.'

Does reading the paragraph above have implications on how you live and what you expect from people?

Authenticity is a rare priceless gift. My definition of the word authentic is this, “Shedding off the mask you are wearing and revealing the beautiful person hidden inside.” I wonder how many people I interact with are authentic. I ask myself, “Am I authentic?” Recently, I have had the privilege to meet a few successful people who are authentic. They have poured out their lives, their challenges and the lessons they derived from them to me. The impact has been amazing, most of their experiences are similar to mine and some even worse. They conquered and their experiences are a beautiful story.

Imagine with me a box containing all the “stuff” you don't have any use of anymore, good or bad. You lock the box and throw away the keys. You then place the box at the back of a closet that you rarely use, in a room you never visit, in fact the room is locked and the keys either got lost or you threw them away – you just don't remember.

That is how so many of us live, we only see the outcome. Rare forced crooked smiles that last less than a minute, forced handshakes because you simply don't want to say the rare Hi's, worst among them are forced laughters that leave your heart aching because you don't have real joy.

Being authentic is a painful affair, but it is rewarding. You have to find the lost doors and get past the animal called DENIAL. Having hidden all the past hurts, disappointments, successes in a closed ROOM, CLOSET and BOX and trying to live like the “stuff” is Missing In Action; will not help.

Take off your mask

Matthew 11:28-30 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (The Message)

An authentic parent will let their children fail, even if they saw it coming. They won't rub in the all too familiar, “I told you so...”

An authentic child will not feel bogged down by their failings, they will understand that the failure does not define who they are. Many people think that failure is a person when it is only an event.

Authentic couples know that their spouses are not gods. There are mere mortals just as they are.

Understand that only God is perfect, and He loves you just as you are. He will turn your ashes into beauty. He alone can make you perfect.

Refer to this for an explanation on Biblical Perfection: http://www.learnthebible.org/biblical-perfection.html

You have one life, LIVE it fully

2012-05-02T13:30:00.000+03:00

A friend recently shared a quote that I believe is vital to today's topic:

"Life is not a rehearsal, you either leave it or live it."

Have you ever reflected back on your life? Where you came from, how you were born, what your parents taught you whether wrong and right, what you observed growing up? The low and high moments in your life. Where you are now? Where you want to be in 3-5 years? What you are potentially able to do? I'd like to think of this as a graphical representation of your life.

I believe that we are all laden with unlimited potential. There are resources, people and opportunities around each of us but they are hidden in plain sight. Just because you can not physically see something doesn't mean that it is isn't there. All these will be vital in attaining the goals, and the vision you have in life.

All the people that ever died having emptied themselves of their potential have various things in common. It did not matter what religion they were in, what mattered is that they believed in a greater power than themselves. They believed in a cause greater than themselves and pursued those causes even unto death. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gadhi, Mother Teresa, and our very own Nobel Laureate Wangari Maathae are a few examples. They were not driven by material gain, popularity contests, awards, “followers” or none thereof. Their significance was measured by how well every activity they engaged in tied with their purpose. Nothing deterred them from pursuing their calling. Yes, they generated a lot of criticism, but none of them resulted to war as a weapon to champion their causes. They were peaceful even in the midst of turmoil. They remained steadfast and ultimately lived fulfilled lives. Isn't it better dying trying to do something than to live doing nothing?

Have you read the story of one Anne Sullivan? She was an American teacher best known as the instructor and companion of Helen Keller. She epitomizes a life fully lived. She died empty.

The world is devoid of action only small-talk.

What is sad is that many people walk around doing nothing and changing nothing? Always complaining, blaming and excusing themselves from what is essentially their duty. Where you complain the most, please take a moment to see whether you are the missing change agent? Most probably you are the one who'll make a difference. You are the one who needs to change. It's not so much about making a big change in the shortest period of time, rather than making steadfast small changes, one day at a time. It is also not about being perfect as much as it is about striving for excellence.

Maybe the guy who is always throwing tantrums in your office only needs a smile. Probably, no one has ever cared enough to smile at him.

Maybe your small brother just needs someone to tell him, he can do it. All he has been hearing around is that, "It's not possible." No wonder, he's always in his room watching TV from dawn to dusk.

Just maybe, your boss, or the president of your country is not the problem. You just need to wake up from your dream of 'freedom' and take action.

People find it easier talking about others than being introspective and talking about themselves. It's not about being overly self-conscious or on the extreme and being arrogant. It is much harder to look within yourself, and admit that you are fearful of failure, that you can't ask for help, that you never delegate routine tasks because you don't believe that others can do a better job.

What do you love doing most? Give it some thought. What do you hate most and would want to do something about, if given opportunity? If there is something you could do for free and not mind if no one paid you, what would that be? What gives you tremendous energy? These are pointers to what your life's purpose is.

Until you do what you love, your life will be controlled by emotions such as fear, anger, shame and regret. Until you stand up for what you truly believe in, you will always have to compromise, settle for second-best. Opportunities will pass you by in broad daylight. Remember, you are not getting any younger as you age.

What footprints will you leave behind after you die? What is the legacy that you will leave? Will you have made the world a better place to live in? Will you have made it easier for another soul to breathe better in the world? The change has to start inside you, but you have to take actual steps and make an impact.

Dr. Anthony Campolo, Professor of Sociology, Eastern College, St. Davids, Pennsylvania, shares the results of a survey where 50 people 95 years and older were asked: “If you could live your life over what would you do differently?” These old people said they would do the following:

Reflect more.

Risk more.

Do things that would live on after they died.

Do you have to wait until you are ninety to reflect so painfully? (excerpt from Made for Greatness, Anthony Gitonga)

I pray for you my friend today as I do for myself, may we empty ourselves of the uniqueness we have in us. May we pursue our purpose. May we fulfill God's calling of us today. Whatever you do, wherever you are, the Maker is calling for you to touch the life of another, and by chain effect, many others and ignite them through your purpose. Choose to spend your life wisely today, you only have one (life).

What steps will you take starting now? Your “Hellen Keller” is waiting!

Making a Living Versus Making a Life

2012-04-13T12:45:00.000+03:00

Ecclesiastes 9:4 "... even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!"

This verse really means that no matter how despicable your life is now; you are better off than those who have died even if they were Kings in the jungle. The simple reason is you are alive and they are dead. You are still breathing.

When you are alive, doesn't matter what circumstances surround you, what obstacles stand in your way, who is against you or that no one is with you - what matters is you are still standing.

Recently, I got a chance to visit with three grandmothers who are struggling to raise their grandchildren either because their children, who are these grandchild's parents' have died or abandoned them. The struggle these women go through is enormous. Despite everything, they appreciate that they cannot do the work on their own, they recognize God's work in their lives and they live by the rule "Take one day at a time."

I couldn't help but admire the stamina with which these women go about their daily lives, doing all they can to help their grandchildren grow into independent adults. To them the obstacles were not deterrent, the goal to provide and nurture is prime.

I also learned that everyone despite the odds that face us, has opportunity to be whoever they desire to be or do. The choice to live is in your hands. It is not about making a living, it is about making a life.

True living is in making a life, by extension making an impact in other people's lives; and not merely making a living.

Making a living denotes one who is driven by survival :

Survival is a myopic goal in life.
Survival is only selfish.
Survival is not for the fittest, it is for the fattest. Those who only think about 'me me me'. The 'what about me' mentality.
Survival only sees the problem. Small-picture thinking.

Are you a lighthouse for the ships in distress?

Making a life denotes one who is driven by significance :

Significance outlasts you - it's a legacy.
Significance puts the needs of others in the right context, above your needs.
Significance asks pertinent questions regarding others, "What should be done about joblessness?"
Significance focuses on creating lasting solutions to the problems. Big-picture thinking.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 says :

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time."

This verse explains it quite well, survivors in life are the fastest, the strongest, the wise, the skillful and the educated - the common trait between all of them is that they have given themselves for one cause to be the best in their field. Apparently they do not always get what they desire.

What happens to the second-bests? What happens to those who tried and failed? What happens when they no-longer hold the "trophy", when someone else breaks their record?

To get away from survival you have to be inclusive :

It is better to give than to receive.
Teach others what you learn. Most people think in teaching that they loose when in actual fact, they cement their lessons and inspire others.
Think about how you can make the world better, make use of the opportunities and people at your disposal.
Use time wisely.

Every man has what may be called time and space to act in, and opportunity to do a particular work. These two constants will ensure you are making a life/ creating significance.

Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 2

2012-03-28T16:38:00.000+03:00

Success is more the process and not the end - product. No one arrives at a destination called success.

Success is really defined as the steps we take towards what we envision.

Why is it a process? If you attain a goal you had set, e.g. to read a book every 3 months; does that mean you are successful and that's the end of the quest? No, you were successful at attaining that particular goal. Along the way you may come to the realization that you need to apply the concepts you are learning, that is another goal. Hence, success is ongoing.

Success therefore takes time, it does not involve a "microwave solution", allow the process to have time and space for growth.

You define success in your own way. To define success you have to define it yourself. What would make you feel successful would not necessarily make another feel successfully.

You will also keep redefining success after every step.

Success is personal first, but it will impact many along the way. It will touch lives in ways more than one.

Remember : It starts with victory over self

Let's answer the questions in Part 1 of this post.

Desire

What drives you?

Your existence is evidence that this generation needs something that your life contains. You were created to solve a problem. Everything you have gone through in life, whether a high point or failure, has it's purpose in your life. What lessons did you learn from these experiences?

Remember : Too many people pitch camp at failure when it should just be a warning sign over what not to do!

If you had to think of life after your demise, which is a surety, how can you paint it? Would people notice that a gap has been left and needs to be filled? Or will it be a case of "Gone and forgotten"?

The drive is what will keep you, after everything is gone and nothing is left. If you leave with something today, ask yourself - what drives you?

Direction

Where are you now? Where do you want to go? How will you get there? Are you headed in the right direction?

You must have a sense of direction.

Where you are now denotes your current "location". What are your attitudes? What are your beliefs? Do they link to your expectations?

You're expectations have to line up with your attitudes and beliefs. You constantly have to work to change your attitudes and beliefs. What influences these two are your thoughts, and you can change your thoughts. Look at the input of the thoughts that you allow to enter your mind - who are your closest friends, what environment do you live in and how do you spend your free time?

Remember : Garbage in, Garbage out

Where you want to go, denotes your desired "destination". Does it seem too far off, if it does then get to work.

Determine how you will get there :

Setting SMARTER goals is what will distinguish the dreamers from the accomplishers.

A dreamer says "I want to be a good communicator". (This person may keep changing their words as its suits them, it is not SMARTER)

An accomplisher says "I want to be a good listener to my partner in Marriage before May 31st on our Wedding Anniversary. I will strive to let them finish sentences on their own and I will not interrupt them while they are speaking. I will maintain eye contact at all times and ensure that I ask reflective questions such as 'So are you saying you need a bit of help with the laundry tomorrow' just to make sure I understood what they were communicating."

To set goals such as the accomplisher did they have to be :

S : Specific- Be very specific
M : Measurable- Can you analyze progress?
A : Attainable- Can you attain it?
R : Realistic- Be real with yourself
T : Time - Bound- Have a time frame.
E : Exciting- They must hold an element of excitement and thrill for you
R : Recorded- Write down your goals.

Dedication

This is how willing you are to pay the price for the success you seek. Sometimes, you will have to be mean with yourself, sometimes you'll endure pain to get what you seek, you will have to leave behind friends you thought were for life, you will have to expand your horizons, work more than you have ever worked, give time for your goals to work, adjust if need be and not to give up.

Remember : No one will push you.

Here you are on your own, change tact (gears) when you need to, look back only to derive lessons and push forward.

Discipline

This is what will help you push forward. Realize that you are 99% responsible for the outcomes in your life. 1% is credited to excusiolitis - a disease where the sufferer makes excuses for their behavior.

Start taking responsibility. Instead of saying "It wasn't me" start saying "I was wrong". Trust me, it's easier than it sounds, just try it.

Remember : You can't lie to yourself.

Stop complaining about people and your circumstances. The economy has nothing to do with your success. You make it your business when you always talking about it. Stop talking and start acting.

Stop blaming other people and your circumstances. You realize when you are pointing a finger, all the other fingers are pointing at you.

Start small, think big BUT start now. They do say, "A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." Take that step now, if you will always procrastinate, the best time you are waiting for will never come.

READ the Excerpt below NOW:

When I Become a Big Boy

This is like the little boy who says when I become a big boy, I will do this and this and I will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says, when I finish college and do this and this and I will be happy. And when he finishes college he says when I get my first job and do this and this I will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says when I get married and do this and this and then I will be happy. And when he gets married he says when the kids get out of school and I do this and this I will be I happy. And when the kids get out of school, he says when I retire and do this and this, I will be happy. And when he retires what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes.

(Adapted from You Can Win (1998), Shiv Khera)

You are the driver of your life, are you ready to take charge. Then start NOW.

What lessons can you share from your journey?

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 1

2012-03-20T12:42:00.001+03:00

Have you ever thought about the intricacies of taking a journey? Well, I am sure you have journeyed at least once in life - whether by road, rail, water or air. I am also certain you have your reservations about the mode of transport. Maybe you have had a bad experience on the road, as a result you are fearful on the road. Maybe on your first time in a boat, thrilled as you were, the winds were so great - the boat unfortunately capsized. That was your first and last time in a boat until today. Back to the question - journey of life - let's imagine for the purpose of this post - that you are sitting at the driver seat, you are the captain of the ship or plane - that in your life you are the driver as well as the passenger.

We will attempt to derive the lessons from your journey of life.

Who is the driver?

Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In a car, there is just one driver, one person who controls the vehicle. Maybe there is a car that has two steering wheels, I don't know. Conventionally, there is normally one steering wheel, one break, one accelerator, one gear and one driver's seat.

In the journey of your life who steers the wheel, determines when you have to make an emergency brake, accelerates or decelerates and determines which gear is in force - is a question we must ask soberly?

In Kenya, we have a public transport mechanism popularly branded as a 'matatu' - a 14-seater vehicle with a driver and a conductor who collects the fare due to them and ensures that you alight at your designated stop.

I've never known conductor is a valid English word. Had to cross-check its meaning :

conductor : a collector of fares in a public conveyance

Most times than not matatus are the only form of transport available to the general populous.

In the rush to reach a certain amount of gains per day, matatus are driven recklessly on the road. Most who notice this, are other drivers who don't understand the rush, avid passengers may be unsatisfied but because of the hurry they are in, they may let the offenses slide as long as they make it early to their destination. The careful passengers wish they were in control of the vehicle to drive better.

I have gone at great length to illustrate something. If you are in a badly driven vehicle, don't you wish you were the driver and you would do things better and be more safe-conscious. I wish I could give the reckless drivers my two cents of advice, to just slow down and think of the passengers they are entrusted with. If the vehicle were to be involved in a bad crash, wouldn't everyone be in danger and not just the driver. It is sad but most times, people rarely think about the consequences of their actions before engaging in wrong behavior.

M - Pics / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To link this back to our post. You are the driver of your life. You are the passenger in the car of your life as well. It might sound paradoxical, but lets ask critically. Ultimately, who gets most hurt when you are driving the car of your life recklessly? Who is it that is hurt more? Even if you had other passengers as well, their safety is upon your hands. Drive well, and they will arrive well.

Driving badly in your life may manifest differently. You know yourself better, some things to look out for on the road of your life are : -

Are you driving your car, or have you delegated that task (willingly or unwillingly)?
Are you on the right road?
Do you know where you are going?
Do you even know where you are?
Are you headed in the right direction?
Are you driving too fast you are not checking the signs on the road?
Is the fuel in your car empty or is it just enough to get you to the destination?
Have you stopped to ask for directions? Maybe you're lost, that is why the journey is taking longer than expected.
Where are the potholes on the road? To avoid them you need to know where they are.
Are you complaining and blaming other drivers for your mistakes?
Have you forgotten who is turning the steering wheel?

These are just a few analogies in the road of your life. Hopefully you have been able to answer the question "who is the driver in the road of your life?"

I would love to read your insights on this post. Who holds the keys, who is the driver in the road of your life?