No Saint Here

2012-01-25T21:39:00.001+08:00

I can spin how I feel about you in many ways, but the simplest words to describe how I feel is "I miss you".

2011-10-22T18:59:00.002+08:00

2011-10-19T00:17:00.001+08:00

I miss you, I just miss you so much its eating at my soul. The memory was supposed to fade, things were supposed to feel better, but it doesn't. The guilt of pushing you away remains fresh. Please come back.

Give me a chance. Give us a chance.

2011-10-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

How is it possible for me to have two break downs in a week? I needed and wanted an answer for so long and I thought I had a glimmer of hope to be finally answered. By the end, I could have possibly screwed up so badly, which I regret my actions. I'll do my best to hold my tear for you.

2011-10-09T01:41:00.001+08:00

I barely regret decisions I have made previously, but there seems to be one decision I made last week which inevitably will impact my whole life. I fell in love with the idea of you. I would want to turn back time to the 27 September 2011 and have clicked 'ignore'.

If I die young...

2011-10-08T21:12:00.002+08:00

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand,
There's a boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

2011-10-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

Ok, I get it....you didn't have to be so mean about it. Just because things did not turn out like neither of us expected, doesn't mean we are not even friends. But I got your message clearly. Pristine.

2011-05-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

I miss you. I fight my feelings everyday to avoid getting hurt. But I remember all the memories. It was another illusion I choose to create. I never thought you would hurt me this badly. I cared so much about you, and I really thought you did too. - No saint here -

2011-04-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

Why did I choose to stand back and let you live your life, when it killed me inside? Perhaps I started to loving you, and I choose to let you go, if it made you happy. I never thought I would fall for someone like you.

I hate myself for allowing myself to begin falling in love with you.

If only you knew how much it tears me up inside. If I meant anything to you. Talk to me.

Hanging on......

2011-04-10T23:32:00.001+08:00

Why hang on to all the lost hope in the world when there is so much more out there? Perhaps we hang around waiting for that beauty in that person to shine through, to prove us wrong. But we need to realise, that some people will never be as beautiful as we once saw them.

"Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second" - Wiz Khalifa

I am not okay, okay

2011-04-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

.

I know that I need to know, but yet I feel so afraid of knowing the truth from you. You made me feel what no one has been able to do over the past 4 years, but you also made me feel what I avoided feeling.

I'm not okay. I am barely okay.

Almost lover

2011-04-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

Always my favorite song, when I am going through a heartbreak - "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy.......................

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

2011-04-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

Source: www.tumblr.com

I'll Stand By You

2011-04-09T01:15:00.001+08:00

"Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you"

Why did you have to make me feel all the emotions I have worked so hard to avoid?

2011-04-08T18:21:00.002+08:00

"In the heart are three emotions - I felt them then: love, fear and hatred. I could see that an individual could only have one of the three at a time. When you were in love you knew no fear or hatred. When you were fearful, there was no possibility of love or hate. And when there was hate, there was only hate."

Excerpt from “The Last Vampire” by Christopher Pike.

2011-04-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

I wanna scream at you for breaking my heart when you promised me that you would not. I want to hit you till my arms are exhausted so that you would feel part of the pain I am going through. If you were in pain, you could have talked to me, communicate your feelings. You literally left me crippled all over again. Are you proud of how you handled the situation? Perhaps I was right about you being too young for me. Why did I ever consider the possibility of being with you? You were never ready. I was. I was ready to be committed. I was. I am now preparing myself for the longest part of my journey - to heal myself whole.

I'll miss you, but I can't stay

2011-04-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

If I could speak to you one last time, that would be to know what happened to us. After that, you are allowed to walk away, as I will not be staying for you.

The disappointment I have felt over the past two weeks have thrown my life into a chaos, and I was so blinded by your charm. Nevertheless, you taught me an important lesson. You clearly showed me why you have remained single all these while, and I am glad I could see that early on.

I tried, I really did even if I never showed it. You gave up on me a little too early.

It's sad to know, that you leave me the choice of giving up on you, when I truly believed in you.

Right now - this is how I feel

2011-04-03T15:09:00.000+08:00

Source: www.tumblr.com and as indicated on the images

Disappoint

2011-04-03T01:35:00.001+08:00

You disappointment more than I would have ever imagined. It feels like you lied the entire time.

Source: http://leilockheart.me/post/2922248156

Where are you?

2011-04-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

I just miss you, I miss you so much that I have to cry so I don't feel all alone. I cannot afford to fall for you when you are showing me you don't care.

It's been so difficult to tell myself that I have to let you go in order to save myself from anymore pain.

Please come back to me soon, or watch me walk away, Dannie.

2011-04-01T18:36:00.000+08:00

Source: http://lovequotesrus.tumblr.com/

2011-04-01T18:33:00.000+08:00

Don't say the words which I might end up believing. You asked me if I was ready, but perhaps you are not. It already has begun hurting me, and it is sad to see myself whithering away.

Once, I thought you would be a mistake I was willing to make, but now you have becoming my biggest 'what if'. I just thought.....you would be different. Well, you are. It's baffles me how you manage to break my heart before things get serious.

I hate to tell myself this, but you would need to watch me as I go. I desired to know you, but these days I don't seem to know you anymore.

Source: http://xxmeagainsttheworld.tumblr.com/

The idea of me

2011-04-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

Call me paranoid, but I am beginning to believe that you are not in love with me, just the idea of me. I just thought that perhaps we could move forward from this and explore where we could be, but you give me all the doubts I need to question myself.

2011-03-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

If I could tell you how I feel now, I would start by saying that I missed you so dearly today, and every night, I feel lonely without you to comfort me. The insecurity sweep over me and I feel the need to hear you. I cant stop thinking of you because I am so infatuated with you. I think I am falling for you..falling all over my heart. - No saint here -

2011-03-21T04:38:00.000+08:00

It occurred to me that you mean a lot more to me than I can truly handle....and that's why I cannot give you an answer.

At 4.29am on 21st March 2011, all I can think of is you. How you make me miss you so badly by playing my game. I think of you, I think of placing you in my life, trying to look for the space in my mind......after you have won my infatuation.

I am overly infatuated with you, and when you asked me "Are you ready for it?", the question daunted me. How can I answer you when I have the answer in my mind, but my heart is screaming for me to beware? Or was it the other way round? Either way, you are a mistake I am willing to make. I would want for you to hold me at night, while I lay my lips on yours. I know you would love that. I just need to lose my heart, soul and mind to you completely.

You would know my answer to all your questions, if you read my blog. Till then, let's just be friends.

You are all over my life, my post.