NO SEX IN THE METRO

I'm fabulous, now get on the bandwagon

2013-04-03T11:58:00.001-07:00

Ive been online dating off and on for a while now. I go through phases where I'm on every site available and other phases where I say this ain't working and give it the proverbial middle finger.

I'm in between both. I socialize on a fairly regular basis. Having realized that I dont get enough UPS deliveries and when i do they dont require signatures, so God was probaby not going to send me the delivery man (at least not the one on my route). So I get out. I enjoy life. And if my future husband happens to be out and spots me, all the better.

Meanwhile I'm on two online dating sites. My happy medium. I went and perused my online dating profile to double check what I wrote (honestly I didn't remember). I read my profile and chuckled and smiled and really saw how fabulous the owner of the profile is. Heck, I'd date me.

OMG!!!!

I am so totally awesome I'm smart, funny, domesticated (I cook, cleanish, I sew buttons back on shirts and minor stitching), adaptable, artistic, I got yoback, personality for days, AND I'm kinky(ish).

What the hell is the problem?

Ask for my number, call, and lets have a date.

Don't ask me at 5 what I'm doing. Come through (via text or IM mind you).
Quit asking me when we gone meet or some variation but never ask to meet for coffee. Hell I'll take a bottle of water and a bookstore (actually that is right up my alley. It sounds fabulous. Bring me TWO bottles of water please). And I tell them I'm open for meeting, a date, etc. Never happens.
And if all you plan to do is email and text, then why waste our time? I got better things to do than text a mofo I will never meet. Even if that something better is scratching my left ass cheek. Cuz you know u aint trying to date, court, meet, etc. See if im down for coming over for booty. DEFINITELY. Anything else. NO.

I know men r different. Not used to chasing. Definitely not courting, but come on.
Really?

I said it once and ill say it again. I'm a gazelle looking for a lion.
Not just any gazelle.

A FABULOUS GAZELLE!

I want be chased (then pounced and eaten. But some stuff comes after the chase and before the pounce).

Hell for the right lion I will white girl trip and fall
"Oh you got me!"

I need a Hitch in my life. A MALE dating guru. Someone to tell me how all these men are missing damn near the greatest catch of the century. Ill accept it could be me, now where is my Hitch or my Lion?

On a side note. Ill try to post here more often than every year or ever other year. I promise. I'm shooting for once a month or every other month and my dating (or rather non dating life) progresses.
Next post "Kinky don't mean HOE. Step Off..."

And don't worry. Ill will be posting on my youtube channel as well.

No Sex In The Metro Moving - HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-01-06T22:22:00.000-08:00

Well its been funny folks but I think I will be moving this ole blog to youtube. Yeap I gotta a webcam and I know what to do with it...sort of. I'm getting up with the new times and will begin Vlogging. I am not sure how this will work out, if I will continue to post and link to my blog or abondon you all together. We'll see.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

In the meantime here are the links to my two test vlogs

Vlog #1 and Vlog #2

The date that almost happened. Booty Call?

2010-12-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

So I had a date planned for this friday. My first non-online date in years. The plan was to go to a blues club on the south side. Now y'all know that's right up my alley. We made these plans Tuesday. I didnt hear from him Wed or Thurs. For those of you who say it is my job to call next. I honestly was busy. I was working or had appointments and I dont make calls after 10pm. But i digress...

Friday comes around and I just have a feeling its not going to happen. I wasnt worried about what I was going to wear, hell I still had on my doo rag. I called (after 5pm. Let a brotha get off work). No answer. I was in the kitchen chatting with a friend (clearly not rushed to get ready) and she said text and double check. I did. I sent a simple text to ask if we were still on for tonight.
He replies around 6 (date is for 8pm). That he is tied up at work and cant make it.

Now really I'm not boo boo the fool. One of two things occured here. 1. He was held up at work and couldn't make it. No big deal. But the lack of courtesy to call and let me know. Riight. 2. He changed his mind. Again no big deal. Just let me know earlier.
Either way I don't care. I had a sense it wasnt going to happen anyway. You know women know. I never programmed his number. Nothing like that. I do a simple text of maybe next time or something like that.

THEN....
Do you know this negro had the nerve to TEXT me the next day
"Are u down for a booty call?" 9:52pm
"How about some chicken and vodka?"10:15pm

Sadly I dont know which text I find more disgusting.

"Me Tarzan, You Jane"

2010-11-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

Yup that is a direct quote from last night. I'm not giving it in full context, but its not that important. It's still a direct quote. (Same lip licking guy from previous post). Now I know I have mentioned several times throughout the lifetime of No Sex In The Metro that I like an assertive guy. I am all about traditional roles. I'm old fashioned kind of gal (with new school taste). But never did I think someone would actually say "Me Tarzan, You Jane."

Hunh! The nerve! The audacity! The indignation! The...I did give him my number.
We'll see.

Fellas - Licking Your Lips Is Not Sexy. It Means Your Broke!

2010-11-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

Yup I said it. LL Cool J has gotten men thinking the licking of the lips is sexual and sexy and alludes to all types of wanton behavior. Not for this woman. It means your ass is too broke to buy Chapstick.

Yesterday I was out having a drink and this man walks up to me. Well actually invaded my personal space is more like it, but I digress. We talked until I left the bar. During the whole conversation he kept licking his lips. I can tell he thought it was sexy and spoke volumes. It did. "My lips are chap and I cant afford chapstick." It was sooo annoying. All I could think about was his slobby ass lips that he thought were sexy. I mean every 5 freaking minutes. I blame LL Cool J for this.

I think I'm getting old, because I no longer find it attractive on LL. Nope I find myself looking at him thinking "Man get some Blistex." Its sexy if you do it once, MAYBE twice. After that its just a cry for Vaseline.

No Dates in the Metro

2010-08-13T21:23:00.001-07:00

Its been a few months since I've had a date. If I dont get one soon I might have to rename this blog into "No Dates, Sex, Men...in the Metro"

Dont worry, I'll restart my life of prostitution to get some good tidbits for the blog. Anything for my adoring fans.

It's Not Her, It's Him - Yes I'm talking about Fantasia

2010-08-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

When will women learn - the other woman is just pussy. You know what sparked this whole commentary. Fantasia. She is being sued for being the other woman. And you know there was a case in Florida where the married woman won when she sued the other woman. I don't know why women always blame the other woman. Now let me just say I have never been the other woman. I love and respect myself too much. Plus who wants a trifling ass cheater.
But the other woman -she's just pussy. It maybe named, Sue, Mary, Jane, Fantasia, but the woman wasn't the problem. It was your cheating ass trifling man. Cheating is a decision. First the man decides to cheat. Now it maybe a split second decision, but it is a decision none the less. I have been out on some windy days, but never have I seen a gust of wind so strong that if makes a mans pants fall off and fall in some punany. NO he DECIDED to stick his dick there. And HE is the one who committed and promised to be faithful to you. The woman well she was a vessel. THAT woman didn't take your man. Your man decided to leave and she was just some pussy.

And to "The Other Woman" - Karma is a bitch. Whereas, I don't believe in going after the other woman hey, Karma is Karma. Maybe it will make you think twice before engaging in amorale behavior. And if/when the wife wins. That doesn't make you a ho, its makes you a John(ette) cause you basically just paid for the dick.

Its been a long time - Chicago Dating

2010-07-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well alot has happened since my last post. I have been beyond negligent. I dont know what caused me to start a dating blog. Though in my mind I'm a dating machine, the dates are far and few between and yet I'm still trying to find out what a "normal" dating experience is.

I've moved back to my hometown - Chicago. The dating scene is very different and I find my self emboldened.
Example.
The music is blaring, I'm leaning on the counter of the bar. My hips sway to the music. A man (a tall man - and you know how I feel about them) approaches me, puts his hand around my waist (not tightly and he wasn't by my butt), and asks for my number. I turn my head and look at him and say "Buy me a drink"
Can you believe this broke fool said he couldn't. I shrugged my shoulders and said "You gotta pay to play" and walked away.

Then there was the really boring guy. Great on paper, just didn't click at all. And I really tried for a click but just cant force it. He was socially awkward and well not a man's man. And you know I like a manly man.

Oh and I cant forget every online daters worse fear. The gentle southern, mixed race 36 year old ended up be a very unattractive 50 year old man who is no more mixed than every other black person. I mean I didn't leave, because you guys know how I am about a free meal. But trust and believe as soon as I chewed my last bite I was peace.

Then there is the guy that everytime I see him, he asks for my number. I am soo disinterested from his looks, his height, the fact he actually says shit like "come here. come here. come here."
Really we are not 8. You are grown if your ass wants my number at least get your lazy ass up an walk the 8 paces to ask me. Then he always wants a hug, to which I respond "nah I have personal space issues." Last time he asked for my number (mind you he asked me from a table away cause getting up to collect was apparantly too much effort) I told him "NO" like all other times. Do you know this fool had the nerve to ask me why.
"Because I am completely uninterested. I have no desire to give you my number and get to know you."

Sometimes you just gotta be honest. "No" was not working.

Off Topic - Best and Worst Primetime Sex Scene

2008-11-09T12:11:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have several shows I like, but only ONE that has turned me into a utter and complete addict. TRUE BLOOD, an HBO series about Vampires in Louisiana, comes on Sunday nights at 9pm. TRUE BLOOD is based on The Southern Vampire Series by Charlaine Harris. (I must say now that's its a show I refuse to read the books because I don't want to know what's going to happen, but I do find myself sneaking peaks at reviews. Knowing me I'll break down and read them though.) Now technically because it is on cable I don't know that it counts as prime-time, but this is my blog so I say it does.

**THIS COMMENTARY CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Two weeks ago I watched an episode with the nastiest sex scene ever. Sookie - a 26 year old waitress with the ability to hear others thoughts, goes to Bill's grave, her 150+ yr old vampire boyfriend who devirgined her the previous week, to mourn him. Some locals set fire to a vampire house where he was staying. She caught wind of it and left him several voicemails but he didn't answer his phone. Four bodies were found one to be assumed Bill. (The bodies were liquefied, but there were four vampires staying there including Bill). She mourns him that night by laying flowers on his grave (his original grave from when he was assumed dead back during the civil war). As she turns to leave, a hand shoots up from the ground, grabbing her ankle. She scrambles to get away, the hand holding her is too tight and she falls to the ground, providing leverage for the being below. She begins to crawl away. More of the underground body is revealed.
"Sookie" the southern drawl cries.
It was Bill covered in dirt. He was a different complexion he was so dirty. Dirty and very very NAKED. They kiss. Right there and the mud covered cemetery ground they go at it. Now it's HBO so they show him looking down, shifting his hips, and that grunt of first penetration.

I turned my head. That was just damn nasty. His dirt covered dick inserting her.(And yes I know it's not real). I thought man, they had better write a yeast infection into next weeks script.

So that got me to thinking about the BEST sex scene on prime time television. I didn't have to think long. There is an undisputed champion in my mind that no show's sex scene has even come close to knocking them off their pedestal. I remember all the commotion around it. Fans of the show talked about the next day and the first thing they said "Man did you see that sex scene?"
Well let me not keep you waiting. The show (and one of my top five all time favorite shows) BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Yeah I know you guys must be thinking I have a thing for vampires. What can I say, I love my fanged creatures on the big and small screen.

Since Buffy is off the air, I feel any summarizing is fair game and not in the least bit considered a spoiler. And it has been several years since its been off the air so my memory may be lacking or mixing up a few details, but here goes.
Spike is a vampire, a bad guy. He was kidnapped by this secret government sect and implanted with a chip so that anytime he went to hurt/kill a human it would go off causing him excruciating pain. However for some reason the chip didn't go off on Buffy. (We think it has something to do with her coming back from the dead...again). Buffy didn't know this. He faked it to use at an opportune time. Buffy, the vampire slayer, and Spike were in an alley. I believe arguing. (Keep in mind Spike is no longer a bad guy, at least by action, because he cannot hurt anyone). She hits him, knocks him down. He retaliates and hits her across the alley into a wall. (Side note - they both have superhuman strength). They go at it fighting, until one of them knocks the other so hard they go hauling through this abandoned building. Now it's on. They are kicking each others ass. The building is falling around them (not collapsing, they are throwing each other through walls, knocking them into bricks so some of them fall). Then they turn ready to go back. I don't know whose turn it is but they stop. And for one long electrifying moment they just stare at each other. All the anger, passion, and energy of the moment is still there, ready to be released. Who makes the first move, I can't remember. But they are kissing. You hear the unbuckling of pants, the zipping of zippers, Buffy is lifted up and raised down. A moan escapes her. The fall some more (literally). The still manage to tear up more of the building, but this time not because of fighting, but well...fucking. The grunts, the groans, the lifting up and down, the flexing of hips. It was all pretty graphic even with them being fully clothed. After it's all over she grabs her clothes (or something) tries to make a move for it and leave. He grabs her by the wrist (can't remember what he said), lifted her up and the came down with a moan. I thought "Damn this shit is graphic for regular TV." But it was still hot as hell.

So those are my two best and worst I started to do it for books, but with me being a writer and all I just didn't have the spirit (or balls) to do it.

So what is your best and worst sex scene on TV?

*As you can tell I'm stalling on my own internal analysis "Denile is more than a river in Egypt."
Have no fear folks, it is coming.*

Your Nipples Must Be Hard - Another One Strikes the Dust

2008-10-25T15:38:00.001-07:00

It is a special talent I have to attract men to be so bold and disrespectful. And so here is another snippit of A Day in the Life of KD King.

I have chatted, emailed, and talked to this guy. We will call him Byron (Heck that's his real name. You act like an ass, you get called out). He lives a couple of hours away. So we're talking long distance. However he says his work brings him to Atlanta often. Let me talk about the good points, he started his own non-profit foundation working with the youth (talk about big brownie points, it so important to be about something bigger than yourself), he has no kids (we ALL know how I feel about that), he is over 6 feet (yup nothing but good things), and for the most part he seemed like a cool guy. Again only talked and chatted have yet to meet.

The phone rings
"Hey Sweetie"
Who the hell is this?"Hello, may I ask who is calling" In my standard professional phone voice (not 1-900 professional, but I need a job interview professional)

Look y'all talking to someone on the phone doesn't make me sweetie and it had been a few weeks since I talked to him. Heck I had already cancelled him out in my mind.

We got the pleasantries out the way (ie who the hell was this calling me). After I realized who it was I asked could I call him back. I was at work.
"Yeah, but be sure to call me back. I'll be in town this weekend and I want cuddle up with you." Now let me clarify that I couldn't tell if he said get up with you or cuddle up with you. I shook it off figuring I definitely read too many nasty novels and realized he said get up with you. (He's born and bred southern boy, all the words I don't always understand) I told him I would call him back.
In actuality, it was a bad weekend. I was busy all weekend. I called him back during lunch, he didn't answer I left a nice polite voicemail.

Monday morning rolls around. I'm cruising in my car lamenting on how I'm never freaking on time, adjusting the heat because its 45 freaking degrees outside (yes I know I'm from Chicago, but cold is cold), my cell phone rings. Its Byron.
We chatted, generic pleasantries. (I know its hard to believe for those who know me, but I'm really not talkative in the mornings. Im just not a morning person). He told me he didn't make it to Atlanta. He wanted to come down but of course he needed to check with me cause he wanted to visit me. We chat some more mundane topics - price of gas, weather.
"It's flipping cold here. I'm freezing. It's 45 degrees outside."
"Your nipples must nice be hard."
What!? "Well you have a nice day, Good-bye."
"What? Well damn good-bye"
Click

Potential Date #4567 - cancelled. Same story different guy. Conclusion - It really IS me.

See next posting "De Nile is more than a river in Egypt..."

Big Girls Need Love Too - Rub My Damn Belly!!!

2008-06-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

As we all know I am a lover of Romance. I love to read it and I love to write it. Not just any romance - hot steamy romance, erotic romance, but romance all the same. This past weekend I read a romance with a plus sized character. She was a size 16. Okay that is probably the biggest heroine I've ever read. But damn she came with all the "big girl issues." Why is it every time I read a book with a heroine over a size 8 they have to have issues with their fat ass? Why oh why? Look, women have issues with their size from 0 on up. However, I don't read about that in the single digit numbers. Why oh why cant a big girl be a big girl without fat issues and get some love? Big Girls Need Love Too. We want the romance with the oh so fine Hero without all the baggage of being big. Skinny is sexy, medium is sexy, and big is sexy. Sexy is an attitude. Not everyone over a size 10 is lacking that attitude. And speaking of size when the hell did 10, 11, 12, 13, and hell 14 become FAT. Good grief. But I digress...on to everything-but-fat-heroines in book.

So after being thoroughly disgusted, at reading about some plus sized girl who didn't love herself because she was fat, I thought about all the other books I've read. Not too long ago I read an anthology with black women with big butts. I thought at least one of them would have a little pooch. But no they were all fit. They had what a I like to call a TBWS - True Black Woman's Shape. We may be fit or fat, but black women have ass, hips, and thighs. And so hey the books showed a TBWS - not hating, they need love too. But this rant isn't about them.

And then you have the heroines with perfect bodies and big natural breasts. Well hey they need love too. Just one suggestion as one with big boobs. Don't have them lay down. The scene would go a little something like this.

Alex laid Jennifer down on the bed. He wanted to taste every inch of her starting from the bottom of her feet landing at the top of her head. Nippling her toes he let his tongue glide down her feet. He paused to suck on her ankles, before allowing his tongue to go further north. The gurgling sound ceased him. Quickly he jumped up and separated Jennifer's breast. The Hershey globe's preventing her from breathing.

Yeah that's right. If I lay down I will choke the shit out of myself. Only Pamela Anderson's boobs stay upright...cause they're fake. But you gotta have some lead way in a romance. And big boobed chicks need love too, but this rant isn't about them. (unless those big boobs come with a big gut).

No, this rant is about Big Girls. I am a big girl in the double digits and the first digit is not a 1. So yes I am Big, Fat, Zaftig, Pleasantly Plump, Got Pushin' for the Cushion, Hydraulic action, BBW...whatever term you use - that's me. I read the writers guidelines for Loose Id - they are looking for BBW romances. Really? Then they proceeded to say "a size 12 is not a big woman unless she's 4'10." Well at least someone recognizes.

Believe it or not when I walk down the street people don't shout "Fatty McPherson" or other outrageous remarks, as some books would have you believe. And I have dated men and ALL of them have loved my figure. The gut, the butt, the boobs, the thighs, and the sweet rolls. (That's what someone once called my back fat. I mean they are edible. Really all of me is). Whatever size issues some big girl may have doesn't always come from exes and other men, as some books would have you believe (especially this last book I read). Yes I have a dunlap (my gut done lapped over my belt), but this dunlap is SEXY. Not everyone has all parts of their body sway when they walk down the red carpet. And doesn't the Dunlap need love too? I'm talking about reading romances where the heroines don't all look the same.(And that's from fit to an extra 10-15 pounds. Yeah I've read the "slight pouch" stories too. I'm not talking about them. They need love too and in romance - they get it.)
I actually don't like reading plus sized characters because I get tired of reading about their issues with being fat. (Now we are not talking about health - that a whole nother post. We are talking about self-esteem and big girls getting romance).

Not only do big girls need love too, they need lots and lots and lots of hot sweaty toe curling sex. I have been called a many things in my life but NEVER have I been called a bad lay. Just cause you're big doesn't mean you cant get the dick, you can't get the love, you don't know what you're doing, or you're virginal because of lack of opportunity (being fat until some man sees you as pretty). Good grief. And big girls have stamina. We may get winded sometimes taking the steps at work(damn elevator takes to long), but watch us ride a dick. See don't we last alot longer. And when the men are licking and sucking - well we have ridges, hills, mountains, and valleys all over, not just the breast. Dammit we need love too. Where is our hot sexy romance.
And after all the panting, loving, licking, and sucking. We we've exhausted ourselves past the point of consciousness. When we spoon in the afterglow of multiple orgasms, I want you take your hand and RUB MY DAMN BELLY. It helps me go to sleep.

I went to a reader session with an erotic romance author who writes interracial romance and she said "Why does race have to be an issue?" and so I say "Why does size have to be an issue?"
What is wrong with a plus sized character confident in who she is (size wise at least. We know she will have some issue as that is how romances go). She meets a man who finds her attractive and vice versa. They have hot sweaty sex, work through their issues, and in the end live happily ever after. The story ends while Mr.Tall-Dark-Handsome hero rubs her soft, jiggly belly.

Slight Rant - Make a Decision

2008-03-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

Okay while leaving my last post I began to get on my soapbox and stopped. So now let me just get something off my chest.

If I have to decide the location of a date one more freaking time I'm going to scream. YOU'RE THE MAN, MAKE A FUCKING DECISION!!!!!!!!!

Whew, I feel so much better. Thanks guys for listening.

*Currently checking my calendar, because even I realize I'm a little off the chain today.*

The Biology of 30

2008-03-11T16:03:00.000-07:00

For the past few years I've heard the whispers of 30. The subtle and not so subtle hints about the changes my body might undergo. Urban Legend I thought. Until...

It happened for me around 29 and a half. Something so profound and indescribable that it took me this long to talk about it and put it on my blog. The change came slowly. It was subtle at first. But then it persisted. Every time I looked around I thought someone knew my secret. My change, my....

Even now I find it hard to discuss. This change in my body. The constant thrumming. I'm horny. And not that "I haven't been laid in a minute" type horny, but a horniness so deep that it starts with my DNA and works it way out to tingle my skin, alter my thoughts, and cause a pulsing in my... well you know.

This is more than lack of sex. Now at this point I'm sure someone is thinking it might have something to do with most of my free time is spent reading or writing highly sensual and/or erotic romances. But I can assure you that is not it. It's not like I've never been horny before, but not like THIS. This is constant. On a REALLY good day it is a low sensation, but I feel it and I'm aware.

Like I said I heard that in your 30's you start hitting a sexual peak that only increases in the 40's. I wonder why? Is it my bodies biological urge to procreate? (Lord I hope not). If anyone has an answer I would be more than happy to know.

And from all verbal accounts it will only get WORSE!!! What am I to do?

This has me worried. I have always prided myself on my ethics and morality. I am not promiscuous, I am not into sex without emotion, I am not into any thing even remotely close to any of this. Those of you who read my blog know how traditional/conservative I am when it comes to men, women, and sleeping around, as well as overall gender roles - I'll do my post on "What Happened to the Real Men" aka "The New Punk Ass Bitch" aka "No Metrosexual Please" aka "Tuck Your Skirt In" aka "Can You Make a Damn Decision"... later.

But I digress, I feel like IF I were to get into a situation I would be like R. Kelly (no, not golden showers and minors)

"My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body's telling me yeees."

So how much is biology connected to mentality and morality?

Notice the use of the word IF - It's not like the dates are rolling in, so as of now it is not an issue, but something that lingers in the back of my head as a concern.

Now let me go look up how to mentor some children and teens, so they can have a higher self esteem and hold out on having sex and know about how to protect themselves. The last thing we need is higher rates of teenage STD's*

* An STD is a kid (yes I said kid. As in child, baby, little one), a crazy person, AIDS, or other Venereal Diseases. I discussed them all in previous posts.

Feel Free to Date Any Color, But Don't Tear Us Down on Your Way Out of the Door

2008-03-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I was perusing the radio stations and caught wind of a very interesting topic on Steve Harvey in the morning. (Well really it was a rant, but the word 'topic' sounds better)

He was a addressing a black man who was married to a black woman. He cheated on her numerous times and was overall and shitty husband (He described in detail all the things he did in a letter to the show, but I can't remember them all). Then he left her and said "Black women aren't my cup of tea."

The point Harvey made, to which I agree, is date who you want, but why do you have to tear down someone else on the way out the door.

Black Men (some black men) okay white women are you're cup of tea. You prefer them. I get it (Lord knows I see it all the time), but why the hell would you tear down black women and then say "They got too much attitude." or any other number of reason why you don't date black women...anymore. Did you ever wonder why? Again I truly believe love has no color, but why treat one woman (usually the white woman) sooo much better than the other. If you treat someone like shit that's EXACTLY what you get back - SHIT!

Steve Harvey went onto this tirade pretty much my whole journey to work. But that was the sum of it.

It seems black women are prejudged by white people, and black people. Everyone values their women except us. Is this some lingering remnant of slavery? Is this a new fad? And more important when will black women get their turn?

What do you think?

My Limited Skewed View on Men is Affecting My Writing

2008-02-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

As we all know, I'm a writer. So I am working on this story, cleaning it up (I got a real nice rejection letter from an Editor). Two things I do before each story are a character GMC chart (Goals, Motivation, Conflict) and list my five points in a story. It just helps me get a starting point and flow.

So anyway I'm doing my internal and external GMC for my heroine. I have three points per block. I'm writing away, really giving my heroine three dimensions and backstory that really explains her movement. She has come alive in my mind and somewhat on paper. I know her, I understand her, and therefore I can write her. Oh yeah, this story is coming together.

I do my five points of a story - oh yeah I love this. Much better plot. Nothing unglued about this.

I go to write my internal and external GMC chart for my hero...nothing. Okay, no problem. Let me take my mind off of it and walk around...nothing. Alrighty then, let me talk it out...nothing.

Kim's View #1
Women are complex. Men are simple

Kim's View #2
Women say part of what they mean. Men say what they mean.

Example
A man says - "I'm just kicking it."
A man really means - I'm just kicking it. I.E. I'm not trying to marry you or date just you. I have no other intentions but to just kick it.
Other interpretations - I'm just kicking it.

A woman says - "I'm just kicking it."
A woman really means - I will date until I find the one I can settle down with. I mean I have no real intentions of marrying. It isn't like someone is asking. Of course it would be nice if they did. The last guy I dated said he was ready for marriage and he ended up cheating on me. So yeah I can be like a man and just kick it. I mean you guys all mean the same thing. But I do hold hope that someone is out there. It could be you, you never know.
Other interpretations - If you want to just kick it, I'm fine with that for now. But I know once we get more serious things will change. I better not catch you messing around either.

You see what I mean. I have such a jacked up view of men and women. Please somebody help!!!!

I was sooo jealous...

2008-02-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I hung out with a friend and her male friend. We all hung out, laughing, talking, drinking, eating, and just having a general good time. I tried to stave off the jealousy that kept trying to creep up.

She has something so precious that I have never been able to achieve - a male friend. I have said on sooo many occasions I have too much estrogen in my life. I wish I had male friends. I am 30 years old and have never been able to achieve that. I mean in high school I had a couple of male friends. It didn't last past that. In college I was never really able to make any. Definitely now that I am grown I'm not.

Making male friends for me has always been an issue of attraction. Either men didn't find me cute or attractive, therefore didn't want to be my friend. OR they did, and whatever friendship we tried to gain was disingenuine because he was trying to GTD (get the draws). But it is not all on them. People flock to each other differently. It wasn't until I became an adult that I truly was comfortable around men. So my opportunities in youth to get and maintain male friends were lost because I didn't know how to be a friend to them. And in adulthood, the rules changed.

My Admiration and Respect for the Male Species

2008-02-21T10:40:00.000-08:00

I know I said in a previous blog that if I were a man my schlong would fall off because I would be so knee deep in all of this available pussy that women throw at men daily.
Well I'd like to change that. If I were a man...I'd be gay.

Women are complicated. Plain and simple. They dont say what they mean and mean what they say. They think to much, ponder on it, and never discuss it with the man, but hold him accountable for it.

It must be confusing and frustrating as hell to date a woman. God love my men for putting up with us. I don't know why men are on the DL, hell just be gay. I understand - women are too complicated. Go for yours.

I came to this conclusion while talking to friends and truly listening to them as they talk about themselves and men they are seeing. And everytime I do I cant help but to think "Damn we're complicated."

So this is my bow to the straight men for putting up with us.

Please keep in mind that I'm not excusing men for their behavior - lying, cheating, etc. (for those who do this) I'm just pointing out flaws in women.

The best lines ever - my heart melted, my panties got wet, when...

2008-01-31T17:31:00.000-08:00

Well unfortunately I only have two lines. One is from what a guy said to my friend and one is from what a guy said to me.

Guy to friend (reason behind 3 month rule)
"I want to love my women from the inside out."

Guy to me
"A man can love many women. Or he can love one woman many ways."
(FYI - this man was 6'7")

Any other add-ons?

My Ego Suffered a Blow - Damn I'm parched

2008-01-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

So I'm out dancing, laughing, having fun. I see a tall drink of water (and we already know how I am about tall men) we dance for a while. He made a few comments, we chatted briefly. After dancing I was thirsty.
"After all that dancing, I'm thirsty." I lean back in my chair to look up at him.
"Yeah me too." his finger gently brushes my neck and he walks away...and never comes back.

Aint that a bitch!!!! I can't even get a negro to buy me a bottle of water. *big sigh*
Good Lawd. Maybe I shouldn't have put out that 'you ain't getting no booty' vibe. Then I wouldn't have been parched all damn night. Of course on the other hand, if he would have bought me a drink, I'm sure I would have been harrassed all night.

Aw well, such is MY life. And there was the blow to my ego/esteem.

Later that night, I enter the house feeling exhausted. I could barely stop yawning. My eyes were slightly watered from the force of staying awake. I wanted to crash but knew I had to go through my nightly rituals. I flicked on the light as I entered my room. The only light on in the house. I managed to drag my tired feet to my closet. I took off my shirt, bra, and shoes. Strutting back into my bedroom completely topless, I approached my dresser with my huge picture mirror. As I was taking off my earrings and necklace I couldn't help but to look at myself. I didn't remember, but I had unbottoned the top to my jeans (but they were still zipped). I paused.
I'm pretty cute
I turned to the left, then turned to the right and smiled.
Hmmm I wonder if...
I placed my hands over my nipples and cupped my breasts up into that ultra sexy topless model pose.
Damn, I'm HOT!!! I really should take some professional nude shots.

Yeah I think my ego is still intact.

A little about me...

2008-01-10T19:09:00.001-08:00

Well things are going slow so I figured I'd do one of those get to know me posts. Its shorter than most, only 7 questions.

Some things about me you may not know

A) FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER

China (Chinese place up the street), Work, Home, Gas Station
(Yes I know my life is exciting)

B) FOUR BLOGS I VISIT REGULARLY
Well actually I've had to tone down on the blogging. But here are the ones I seem to always go to in when I decide to go blogging.

Mine (when I post)
Gwyneth Bolton
DarkErotica (A period check to see if there is a new posting)
Monica Jackson

C) FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
Seafood Alfredo (Had some this week. I put to much lemon zest in it though)

Tuna Salad done right (Salad on Salad action. Tuna on top of a salad fixed with every veggie imaginable)

Shrimp (pretty much any dish with shrimp is good for me. But just plain shrimp, sauteed in garlic and EVOO with a dash of salt and pepper...mmmmmmmmm)

Damn that looks pretty healthy (except the first one), why the hell am I so damn fat...oh yeah number four STEAK!!! (MEDIUM)

D ) FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
On a Tall Man
On a Tall Man with no kids
On a Tall Man with no kids and money
On a Tall Man with no kids, money, and a big dick
I would go on, but it said four. (Yeap I'm 30 and horny)

E) FOUR PET PEEVES
When I call a business, leave a detailed message with my intent, then they call me back and say "I'm returning your phone call." dead silence I took the time to leave a message. Are you so freaking unprofessional that you can't respond to the question. "Hi, I'm Joe from A&B. I'm returning your phone call pertaining to info on widgets. They cost $7" Or something....wait calming down. What the hell was the question. Oh yeah pet peeves.

Being called any nickname. My mother took the time to give me a name, I would appreciate if you use it. (Those of you who know me know the real nickname that will make me beat somebody down)

Being called selfish after I've done something for someone. But clearly not enough. You know folks get on my damn nerve. Whatever you do isn't enough. I'm selfish cause you didn't get any damn broccoli, but never mind the fact I invited you over for a meal. *taking a deep breath*

People who drive slow in the fast lane (ie the left lane).

F) FOUR MOVIES I WATCH OVER AND OVER
Big Trouble in Little China
Brown Sugar
The Golden Child
The Color Purple

G) FOUR SILLY FEARS
Heights

Walking across grates (you know the ones downtown where steam comes out of)

Walking down steps with no back

Riding in a glass elevator (I'm afraid but I love riding them to the top and looking down. My heart thunders in my chest, my stomach falls, but damn the adrenaline and fear of elevator cord snapping...well its a bit of a turn on.)

Sea of Love/One Night Stand

2008-01-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

I was watching Sea of Love, a damn good movie. As I was watching, two things came to mind.

1. Al Pacino is little. I guess I already knew that, but DAMN he is LITTLE. A little man who always puts out powerful roles. I guess size doesn't make a difference...just kidding. We all know it does:)

2. One Night Stands are not safe.

Okay this is stating the obvious, and yet so many people do it. I can say I have NEVER had a one night stand and NEVER will. I always tell people "Be safe." And usually that entails using condoms, dental damns, and whatever it takes so you don't come home with an STD. Those of you who read my blog know, I consider a kid a STD just as much as AIDS. (Read the posts on the subjects).

There is more out there than STD's - CRAZY PEOPLE. Yeah I'm not saying live in fear, but there is a line between living in fear and being smart about your choices. Let me tell you about the scene that made me think about this.

Warning Contains movie spoilers but not plot spoilers
The movie is about two cops (Al Pacino, John Goodman) searching for a serial killer. One of the alleged suspects (Ellen Barkin) meets Frank (Lead Detective played by Al Pacino)and later that night goes home with him. They are all hot and heavy - kissing, tonguing, and groping. In the midsts of all this passion she throws her purse on the floor. Suddenly, she stops. Excusing herself to go to the bathroom she grabs her purse off the floor where he sees the butt of a gun.

As I watched, I thought This man has no clue who he has just brought to his home. He has no idea who he is choosing to spend the night (or hour) with. Do you know who you are taking home with you?
A brother with a big dick, who knows how to work it. (Accountant - safe)
A brother with a big dick, who knows how to work it. (Night Shift at the Post Office - a shit talker, but safe)
A brother with a big dick, who knows how to work it. (In Sales. Oh yeah and has a habit of beating women when he gets mad and doesn't get his way. Hope you don't make him mad.)
A one minute brother with a little dick, who can't work a remote (Well outside of the obvious disappointment, he is also a killer.)

The point is you don't know. Safety, is more than a condom. You know the old saying 'God watches over fools and babies.' Well none of us are babies, but Lord knows we have done some foolish things. Of course, we can opt to be smart.

Ladies, Gentlemen, BE SAFE. THINK SMART.

Yeah it's my PSA(Public Service Announcement), of sorts. Do they normally say 'dick' in PSA's?

12th Grade Game

2008-01-05T11:49:00.001-08:00

Now since I am a woman, my perspective is just that of a woman's. And since both my loyal viewers are women then unfortunately, I wont get the man's perspective on this.

This topic is for the classic lines that we have heard our whole life to flirt with us or get the draws.

1. "You here with your man."

I always try not to roll my eyes when I hear this. This not so subtle line has been used since the dawn of man. I always appreciate the men who just straight out ask instead. AND its a leading question.

"You here with your man?"
"No."
"Oh where is he?"
Now at this point your asking personal questions. But its all leading to me saying "I don't have one.

variation #2
"You here with your man?"
"No?"
"You got a man?"
"No?"

Now wouldn't it have been easier to just ask from the get go. That's what I list is as 12th grade game.

2. My favorite and all time classic is "Come over to my place and let's watch a movie." or "Why don't we go to your place and watch a movie."

Aw come on. Are you shitting me? Come stronger than that high school line. What is the probability that he has every intention of watching a movie and calling it a night. NONE. Movies are intimate especially when in someone's house. But we all know that, still its a classic get-the-draws line...from HIGH SCHOOL!!
Yet grown ass men still use it. And that's why its a classic.

Those are the big ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm going back to bed to drink some lime water and take some cold-eeze.

If you have 12th grade lines to add, I'd certainly like to see them.

What's your fetish

2008-01-05T08:43:00.001-08:00

Okay, so for NYE I went to a fetish party. Well not a real one. Kind of a themed "dress up" party. I thought that sounded fun and cool. I wore a bodice style dress and had a whip. Of course when I got there I realized most people just weren't in the dress up mood, much to my chagrin. I kept my coat on most of the night, and kept my black whip tucked away in my pocket. Here are some pics of me with and without the coat on (it got hot, I had to take it off).

And me with my matching pink coat that I had buttoned all the way to the top most of the night

My panties got wet when...

2008-01-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

Okay ladies, we all have at least one superficial thing in a man that just makes our panties wet and nipples hard. I am talking about that base physical attraction. That certain something that makes you cross your legs.

For some it's a deep voice.
Others - light skin and conversely dark skin

For me - HEIGHT Oooh yeah I love me a tall man. And I don't mean six feet. I mean over six three.

Flash back with me a few days ago

"How tall are you?"
The music is blaring, people brushing past us to get on the dance floor. I look up at him and his audacity. After all, I am a pretty tall woman. And in Atlanta, I'm a giant.
"Five foot seven and a half!"
"Oh that's what I thought."
I tried my best not to have a sista girl neck roll when I asked "And how tall are you?"
"Six-four."
I was quiet and my panties were wet.

Yes I am superficial. So while we're at it I also like men who smell good. Wear that right cologne that matches their body chemistry perfectly. Not that cheap stuff either. I am a bit of a cologne snob. Cool Water is out, Lodi Dodi was a loooooong time ago. Sport a nicer and more recent scent. But ah yes I love the smell of a man with that perfect splash of cologne.

Okay those are my two "things," what are yours?

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-01-04T18:24:00.001-08:00

A new day and a new dawn. So what are your resolutions?

Mine
Resolution - Read the bible by December 31, 2008.
How I plan to accomplish - I am following a schedule that a co-worker gave me. Everyweek they have assigned chapters from the following categories Law, History, Psalms, Poetry, Prophecy, Gospels, Epistles. I thought this would be better than reading from beginning to end, since I tried that schedule and never made it past Genesis. (They did alot of begotting in that book)
Progress - I'm already behind schedule. Joshua is a boring chapter. I hope it gets more exciting as I read.

Resolution - Be healthier mentally, physically, and spiritually
How I plan to accomplish it - Hell if I know. Will let you know in February. First though is a mind set change that recognizes I need to be healthier in all those arenas. I'll be enlisting help in those areas.
Progress - Hey working on the mind and recognizing I need help. I realize that Strong Black Woman is oftentimes I weakness.

Resolution - Balance. I no longer have a work/life or work/writing balance.
How I plan to accomplish it - Talk to a career counselor
Progress - Going to seminar at end of month dealing with some of these issues

Resolution - Get my mojo back, write, and submit
How I plan to accomplish it - Hell if I know. I just know I need to at a different place in my writing than I am now.
Progress - absolutely none

Resolution - Take Martial Arts class with weapons training. It has been on my list of things to do for a long time and I have yet to do it.
How I plan to accomplish it - 1. Save my money and budget. Martial Arts is expensive.
2. Check out martial arts studios in my area that have weapons training.
Progress - Checked out one studio already. Calling a few more that I discovered. Will take one class per studio to check out instructor, etc. Then decide. I do like the Korean Martial Arts studio I went to yesterday. So it is definitely staying on my list.

Thats all I have for now. Do you have any?