Hey, blogging is fun. You get to think up stuff to say, people read it, you make friends and enemies, and as time passes you build up this little world where things are just so and everything is about the stuff you and your friends like.

But what isn’t so great about blogging is that it’s really lacking in the dough department. It’s one of those things that happens more or less for free. So how can a site fix that?

My friends, after several months of work and negotiations and typing and coding we are very happy to announce the launch of Minor Asset: Originals & Editions from No One You Know.  Minor Asset* is a hybrid gallery/online store that showcases the work of select emerging artists in Brooklyn and beyond. The site features a diverse collection of new original artworks, editions, and objects, which will be renewed biannually. The opening collection for Spring 2013 includes some really fucking awesome paintings, works on paper, lighting, photography, and books.  You should really go browse.

The featured work spans from the improvisational abstract “painting objects” of Tatiana Berg to the captivating split-perception depth photographs of James George and Alexander Porter.  From the precise, nightmarish scenes of Kim Westfall’s gouaches to the deconstructed fluorescent tubes in Andrew Haarsager’s canvas-and-metal lamps [ed. note: that's me!].

The pricing is very transparent and varies greatly- from $19.00 all the way up to $3,000.00+.

The full list of participating artists includes:

+ Man Bartlett
+ Tatiana Berg
+ Sarah Faux
+ Andrew Haarsager
+ James George & Alexander Porter
+ Kaveri Nair
+ Greg O’Malley
+ Kim Westfall

Each artist’s work is presented with an editorial description by Kyle Chayka, Senior Editor at Hyperallergic and former Associate Editor at ARTINFO.

Now, some real talk comin’ atcha:

Buying work is the absolute best way to show your support for emerging artists.  Not just these artists, all artists.  You can Tumbl it, you can Pin it, you can make Tweets and write about it on your blog– but nothing is equal to throwing down and endorsing these peoples’ work with your dollar.  The work is really good, and too often it’s a struggle to find the resources to create it.  Unlike a gallery, each artist featured here receives at least 80% of the Minor Asset sale price.  We think it’s important to be up front about things like that.  This is a business, yes, but it’s also about supporting these artists’ creative activity.  There wasn’t really a mechanism for that before, unless you were able to visit their studio.  Now’s your chance.

Also, this:  for a limited time, everything on the site is being sold with free shipping.  Even Berg’s furniture-sized ‘tents,’ pictured above, which we’ll figure out how to get to you even if we have to deliver it ourselves.  Get it while it lasts, people.

Finally, a call:  if you are an artist who would like to be considered for the next collection, please send an email to sales (at) minorasset.com.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Have at it!

*Minor Asset is an anagram of No Smarties, like those fakey fake tag lines above

Here’s a fun fact:  the original novel is King’s take on a 1902 short story by W.W. Jacobs, “The Monkey’s Paw,” in which an old couple wishes their dead son back to life with – presumably – disastrous consequences.  Another fun fact is that the film was directed by Mary Lambert, who also directed Madonna’s once-controversial Like a Virgin, Material Girl, and Like a Prayer videos.

With a genius pedigree like that, the director must have had some great taste.  Naturally you’ll want to know how to get these outfits for yourself!  So, we present to you:  Get The Look:  Pet Sematary.

In opening scene, we see the Creed (Creed!) family arrive at the pastoral Maine farmhouse where they are to live when father Louis begins his new job as Town Doctor.  Evidently, mother Rachel has allowed Louis to purchase the home without so much as taking a look at its Craigslist ad, as she is totally blown away with surprise and gushes over the nearly Kinkade-level paradise they are about to enjoy.  And as you can see, she does so in a boss outfit.

Let’s talk about those glasses.  Tortoise shell, smoke lenses, thin brass temples.  You can find similar specs at Barney’s, such as these ones by Oliver Peoples:

Oliver Peoples, Gregory Peck sunglasses [$430, Barney’s, 660 Madison Ave or online at Barneys.com]

As for the rest of her outfit, it’s not often that you see matching dress-and-headband combos these days.  That said, this silk dot dress by Akris Punto will get you most of the way there:

To coordinate, we suggest combining it with Alexander McQueen’s classic Skull Scarf.  Finally,  pull the whole look together with the finishing practical-mom touch:  classic white Ked’s.

Akris Punto, Silk Dot Dress, $1350, and Alexander McQeen Skull Silk Chiffon Scarf, $295  [both available at Sak's Fifth Avenue, 611 5th Ave or online at saksfifthavenue.com]
Ked’s Canvas Champion Originals [$40, available at Keds.com]

On him: the late-80′s casual Friday look works well for moving day.  He gets bonus points for the not-quite-monochromatic pairing of an ivory sweater with sand-colored slacks.  We suggest starting off with J.Crew’s simple crewneck sweater, and finishing with their classic-fit chino in Dusty Khaki:

Chunky Cotton Crewneck Sweater, Dark Bone; Sun-faded chino in classic fit, Dusty Khaki [$79.50 & $75.00; both available at J.Crew stores and online at jcrew.com]

Some time passes before the creepy stuff begins to set in; during this time we get to see more of Rache’s no-nonsense career woman outfits.  Here she is having bought groceries in the same glasses as before (a regular Kate Middleton) along with a matching blazer/skirt suit and light teal blouse.  Let’s go to Banana Republic for this one (left), and pair it with a long-sleeved top in light turquoise by Orvis, right:

Sateen One-Button Blazer and matching skirt, Banana Republic [$130 & $59.50, available at Banana Republic stores and bananarepublic.com]
Long-Sleeved Pima Cotton Tee, Light Turquoise, Orvis [$59; available online at Orvis.com]

Now, enough of this pastel-colored happy time!  Let’s get into the meat of the movie.

Bam.  You know who that is?  That’s Stephen King.  He appears in cameo to preside over the funeral of that laundress in the screenshot above.  Here’s how to get his look:

John Wesley Clergy Robe, Murphy Robes [$495; available online at murphyrobes.com]
“Essential” Aviator-style frames, LensCrafters [$99 plus lenses; available at LensCrafters stores or online at LensCrafters.com]
ESV Compact Bible, Crossway Bibles [$16.50; available online at Amazon.com]

This is a runner who got creamed by a car earlier in the movie; leaking brains, he dies in Louis’ arms while saying ominous stuff.  His ghost is a recurring character who provides sinister guidance to various members of the Creed family.  Get the look!

This one’s a little complicated.  First, buy the following:

What you’ll need to do is take the hoodie and the sweatpants and wash them together, so you can get that nice pink hue on the sweatshirt.  Then, take some scissors and cut those sweatpants immodestly high.  Don’t be afraid of a little leg!

Men’s Short-Sleeve Beefy Tee, ComfortBlend Fleece Full Zip Hooded Sweatshirt, and ComfortBlend Fleece sweatpants, all Hanes [$5.97, $11, $7, all available at Walmart.com]

Finally, when you make an emergency plane-and-car trip home from Boston to check if your dead son has been turned into a murderous zombie, you want to look your best.  Try these:

Plaid Pleated Skirt Suit, Tahari [$60, Lord & Taylor; available at Lord & Taylor stores or online at lordandtaylor.com]
French Cuff Dress Shirt, White with Black Trim, Stacy Adams [$40, available at contemposuits.com]

That’s all there is to it, people!  Enjoy your new outfits.  As always, keep a good dry cleaner on hand.

I came across this out-of-print Stella monograph at the Strand yesterday– which, if you’re smart, go get yourself one, there are never any good Stella books and the Strand has a bunch of these and are asking a pretty reasonable $30 for it– and found myself reconsidering this early work of his for the first time in years. These are the big, big shaped canvases painted with ordinary house paint, separated by thin strips of raw canvas. What I like is when he first started making these, they were freehand and messy, but even as they got perfected they never lost their warmth, at least not to me. Historically the gestures Stella was making were important, yadda yadda flatness, but goddamn if they don’t have something insanely, timelessly seductive about them. They make me think of hypnosis and pleasant dreams and the Death Star.

He’s probably my number one “wish I could go back in time so I could steal all of your ideas and do them first” person, because they seem so simple and obvious now, but for a lot of things he got there first and did them the best. There’s something bittersweet about making a geometric shaped canvas today when these exist in the world.

-Tatiana Berg is a painter who lives and works in Brooklyn, NY.  Here she is on Twitter.

German design student Hayo Gebauer made a lamp that does a cute thing.

Something is starting to seem really old-fashioned about ideas like this.  There was a time when I might have been really into it!  And to be real, the lamp is okay looking – I even like that stitch situation holding the shade together – but any visual statement is pretty undercut by this falling-over trick.  Which we’ve seen elsewhere by Front design and also, elegantly, Josh Owen a million years ago, who had the decency to go whole-hog and make it shaped like a bowling pin.

There’s something nice about the anthropomorphism, of course – the thing falls over when it dies.  It’s cute!  The lamp uses its body to signal its functionality.  But this is an overt kind of anthropomorphism, the kind that doesn’t offer any more to discover once its trick is revealed.  It’s manipulative, in a way.  At best, it implies that we need artifice like this to somehow reveal ourselves in the objects around us.  Which is silly, when you think about it; we are always reflected in the objects we make.  At worst, it’s one of those self-righteous situations where the designer purports to “change our perception” of our surroundings by making experimental things that do tricks like this, which, no.  Who knows which!  Let’s just scroll past.  NBD.

Alright, people.  This site is about to do some major growing up.  It’s time.

No Smarties has existed for 4 years.  When we started it back in 2008, we had only the vaguest notion what it might turn into.  It isn’t that long ago, but nevertheless, at that time there was no Awl; no Tumblr; nothing had Like buttons; Twitter was for nerdz.  Starting a blog was kind of an embarrassing thing to do.  Especially one that didn’t have a concrete theme.  We knew that we were young idiots in that post-bachelor haze where the accomplishment of having graduated makes your brain endorse your own thoughts in a way you suspect it shouldn’t.  The time where you might confuse a lack of authoritative judgment for professional readiness.  Nevertheless, once “class” as our locus of creative energy started to fade in the rear view mirror, we found ourselves needing to provide a thing for ourselves.  Something, anything! that could act as a heat sink for unfocused thought and let us rally together around great creative work.

We didn’t have any money, so: blog.

We were clever and judgmental enough to know we shouldn’t claim to know what we wanted to say.  Making grand statements about things is unappealing to others, and likely to embarrass your future self.  We had passion but didn’t want to look twerpy.  We weren’t twerpy!  But it’s SO EASY to look twerpy, being art school kids, kids that until recently wrote excruciating essays on Futurism and the male gaze and the Eameses.  Probably it was twerpy to self-loathe like that, but whatever, it was our blog.  This was our way of being earnest.

In the years since, No Smarties managed to collect an audience of readers that expanded and shifted along with us.  Nothing thrilled me like introducing myself to someone and having them have heard of the blog.  Bless the internet!  It facilitated the forging of friendships with people much smarter and more charming than us.  It caused at least one full-time job offer.

So, as we move into the 5th year, where is it heading?

It is time to grow up.  No Smarties is not, and will never be, the type of pageview-minting supersite that is based on linking to new things many times per day.  That is not our strength. So we’re going to focus on more long-form writing.

This new design is a departure from what came before.  The previous design was essentially a fake joke “big” site; the kind that has ads, and categories of things, and a staff who photoshops your logo into various contexts.  That’s gone.  Also gone: Google Adsense.  While we may introduce something ad-like in the future, and making .13 cents per year ain’t nothing, we have other plans for turning this enterprise profitable.  This will be announced in the coming weeks.  You’re going to love it.

We’re bringing on more contributors.  Excellent ones.  People who, under other circumstances, get paid for putting words on paper- like Kyle Chayka, Kim Westfall, and Tatiana Berg.

So thanks for sticking with us, you guys.  Here’s to a new beginning, a new transparency, and an evolving earnestness.  I mean, we’ll still be sassy.  Just more grown-up.  For the modern internet, like nature intended.

“Blue Trees in Wind,” 1957

Because you would also marry Dan Flavin every day forever, just like us, you may be excited to learn that there is a boss exhibition of his drawings up at the Morgan Library right now!

Mostly the show consists of hundreds of pages of his sketchbook drawings from life, and scores of more “technical” sketches of the light pieces.   There are also a couple of nice fluorescent light pieces thrown in for good measure, notably this one:

…which I managed to snap a couple pictures of before the guards politely informed me of the no photographs policy (charmingly, I might add, via pantomime through the glass elevator wall).  Though I do kind of wish I had saved my innocence-snaps for the actual drawing show, where much of the work showed a surprisingly sensitive hand and an eye for tiny, interesting moments  (like a super quick portrait from the 70′s, sweetly captioned “Reporter who completely enjoyed herself at the press conference”).

I tried to sneak some other pics, but my near-pathological sense of obedience made it hard to break the rules in any productive way.  For example:

Watch out, officially-sanctioned postcard market

What you see there are some really charming collegey-type drawings from his early twenties, which basically were handwritten poems surrounded by AbEx brush-mark doodles.  I dare you to show me a sketchbook from sophomore year that doesn’t contain some version of this!

Here are some others that are floating around online:

“Monuments for V Tatlin,” 1968

The sketch for “In Honor of Harold Joachim,” the light piece above

Sketch of Paul Cézanne, 1959

“Sails,” 1986

Dan Flavin: Drawing
February 17–July 1, 2012

The Morgan Library
225 Madison Avenue at 36th Street
New York, NY 10016

P.S. Can we please talk about how he called Alexander Calder “Sandy”??  This is a true fact.

P.P.S. Also there was a sketch of an un-executed but really cool seeming early fluorescent piece, from the early sixties I think, which basically was a wooden pyramid with lights on the side.  Here let me draw it for you:

HOW MUCH do you wish this existed!

Kim Westfall‘s works on paper are making us die of eyepleasure

Check out this stunning EL paper installation by Paul Cocksedge in Lyon for the Fête des Lumières.

(via NotCot)

Cardboard robot ladies notwithstanding, ICFF was a little bit snooze today.  When I say this, I should note that ICFF is the funnest!  But previous years have been a little better (looking at you here, 2005!) and in comparison, this year’s fair was a little dim.  Things are palpably better than the non-stop yawnfest that was ICFF 2008, but still there wasn’t very much to write home about.  You’ll basically be there if you picture scores of on-trend edison bulbs, acres of ‘green’ materials (read: plyboo), and some assorted Gehry-stool-like Corian blobs.  Still, there are always some standouts, right?  Let’s take a peek.

We’ll start by checking out these baller molded paper-pulp lamps by Victor Vetterlein of & Tradition Copenhagen:

Which are sweet, and recyclable I guess!

And then, this chair filled, for some reason, with SoCo bottles:

Which, okay, yes.  I have no reason to argue against that.

These little glossy metal / mirrored stool things were pretty nice:

As was this red sheet metal lamp, by the same people:

And, get ready for your heart to be melted by this ca-yuuuuute cloud lamp by Japanese lightsters Abovo:

There were gorgeous articulated lamps everywhere:

After walking the floor all afternoon I had the major urge to take a beautiful angle-nap in this gray upholstered bed by Nolen Niu:

And last but not least, I can’t find any info on the designer’s website, but basically this is a little copper diamond sheepskin rug.  Love it.

So there’s a little survey for you.  Obviously none of these things are related. More posts forthcoming with the *really* good stuff, where we link to their website and everything!  Stay tuned.

So, we were at ICFF for all of 3 minutes when all of a sudden, blammo, we were talking to a charming lady from Portuguese glam-showpiece makers Boca Do Lobo about the person-height stack of glossy boxes you see above.  Regular readers will know that we are totally over baroquey repro silhouettey stuff, but the Tim Burton mourning-glam effect of these pieces (combined with the meticulous craftsmanship inside and out – the perfect finishes, alignment of bevels, etc) made these a very striking entry to the fair.  This piece is like a 70′s coke party version of Tejo Remy’s drawers, but the rest of their stuff tended toward ultra-complicated drawer/door configurations within restrained overall forms.  See more below!  Including some in-situ shots from the fair.

You be the judge:  at left is the supposed “Flat Pack Shoe,” which as we understand was designed for outer space and introduced recently by angle-enthusiasts United Nude.  At right, the iconic dust collector Bowflex Xtreme.  I mean, right?

Even though in real life Greg got me a kindle and I no longer have a use for paper-based “books,” I figure we’ll need to keep at least partially stocked bookshelves in our apartment for the foreseeable future so we can avoid the constant lectures from aesthetes who “just can’t give up the smell of books” and go “ha-ha you know what never goes dead? the battery in my book” and “still works if it gets wet” and “there’s so much history in the spine” and seriously, I’m going to throw myself into traffic.  Call me.  Also this is brought to you by the guy who made those butt chairs!

Ok, this chandelier was designed by Philippe Starck for Baccarat, the shmancy French crystal company, and is made up of the following highly questionable properties:

1. The “appropriation” and “re-contextualization” of old-timey design fanciness, which, pretty much, we all got over at ICFF 2005 while eating our $6 hot dogs
2. At least they’re not making silhouettes oh wait
3. Philippe Starck is still alive?  Even though there is literally a Louis Ghost chair at a dollar store near my apartment in Brooklyn?

So given this, how come I love it so much?  Do I need to take some time to get over it?  I don’t know what’s happening.  I need to stop drinking.

Link I guess

No Smarties’ newest bff Kyle Chayka has a spa-lendid rundown of the George Condo show at New Museum over at Hyperallergic!  And also apparently Kanye is there right now, but probably you should just look at the pictures, because I know if you’re reading this it is sweatpants-o’clock for you.  No big.

Eventually a person gets to the age where they’ve moved out of their terrible first apartment to become an adult, and the start of this phase is signified by them buying frou-frou non-essentials like rugs, and after that they stop buying so much melamine for their health because did you see what happened to those babies in China? And the final step is to replace those goddamn brown leatherette folding chairs they’ve been eating on since age 19.  And when this happens for me (one day!) I really really hope I am flush enough to go to a lowercase-titled place like imm cologne and get one or six of these badass pressed aluminum chairs.  Look at it!

I could give or take the fact that it’s really light – I mean, less environmental waste etc. etc. I guess – but freaking look at what this thing is shaped like before it gets bent:

Which, AM I WRONG HERE?? :

Mercy!

Whapow look at this!!

So here’s something fun: now, for less than the cost of a MoMA admission, you can venture uptown to the frosty-looking restaurant Park Avenue Winter and chow down on a Marina Abramović-designed dessert – which is on fire, and which you eat with your eyes shut – while listening to an mp3 of Ol’ Brammy soothe you with her kind instructions.  Also, you get to wear a lab coat (provided).  Chyah!

The Volcano Flambé, as it’s called, is evidently a pile of banana mousse and ice cream topped with meringue, gold leaf, and a halo of spun sugar, which is then set on fire somehow and you have to eat it blindfolded* without dying.

You

And!  You get a little booklet of recipes for things like kool-aid made out of rubies, or so I understand.

Anyway, people, here’s a proposal: I say we make a night of this.  Who wants to take a little No Smarties friends-and-readers field trip up there to take part in this cultural moment?  We’ll get the reservation.  The dessert costs $20, plus I guess we’ll need to leave a tip or something.  I think this could be awesome.  Email or tweet at us if you’re interested in joining!  We’ll take uptown by storm.**

*Not blindfolded
**Politely

(via Artinfo)

Everyone drop your dinner plans because tonight is the opening of Haymaker, a group show at Freight + Volume gallery in Chelsea, featuring the likes of Smartie Tatiana Berg (that’s her up there just look at it omg) and also a spate of other artists we love like Damian Stamer and Kristen Schiele.  Basically, it’s going to be fucking amazing and you all need to come right now (er, at 6pm).

Freight + Volume
530 + 542 W. 24th St.
New York, NY
10011

Opening 6-8pm Saturday, January 8th

gaaaahhh look at this chair!

Ok guys.  I’m not sure if you noticed this, but you have basically 2 weeks to salvage family relations strained by all the times this year that you accidentally texted mom about mom or expressed your long-held disapproval of your brother’s recent ex who then became his non-ex or forgot birthday presents and kept forgetting and then asked your septuagenarian parents for money (the economy!).  We all know on what thin ice you stand.  Obviously also the best way to fix this is with presents!  But which ones??

Well, we’ve got you covered.  Without further ado, allow us to present you with SNO MARTIES: the official No Smarties Holiday 2010 mini-mart.  God bless us, everyone!

Let’s start the New Year off strong, people!  Kiki Smith’s Cat Head Vase, porcelain with glazed interior, would make a splendid gift for the dog lover or sociopath in your family.  Eggnog drinker?  How about a set of 6!  And in an edition of only 150, you’re sure to be the envy of all the suckers in your neighborhood who bought their Christmas cups at Williams-Sonoma.    [$870.00, Other Criteria Editions Store; Gagosian Gallery, 988 Madison Avenue; othercriteria.com]

Though there are certain gifty calendars that shall remain nameless we’d frown upon this season (ever), what could be more perfect for Christmas than the Anno Domini perpetual calendar by Stanley Ruiz?  Obviously this would work just as well for your rebellious teenage child as it would your boss, so it’s very versatile. It’s no Cheesecake Factory gift card, but it will do. [Price upon request, stanleyruiz.com]

While we’re on the topic of your children—I know they’re probably bugging the shit out of you for a Kinect or a CNN hologram or a Wikileak or whatever, but you can go ahead and ignore them because what they really want is a headless teddy bear to glow eerily on their nightstand. Plus, they’ll never learn to fit in if they waste their childhoods too distracted by LCD screens to be afraid of shadow chairs and under-desk ghouls and stuffed animals that come alive when they close their eyes.  I’m really doing you both a huge favor here.  [$126.00; available online, suck.UK.com]

If a decapitated animal isn’t your idea of good accent lighting, perhaps you’d prefer Droog’s Slow Glow lamp, which is basically a light bulb stuck into a beaker of fat.  As the incandescent bulb heats up, the fat melts and becomes clear, combining the worst parts of home-energy-use and bacon-making.   Somehow the fat comes from soy and is vegetarian, which I feel like reduces this thing’s visceralness by a touch – luckily you could totally swap it out for goose-pan drippings come Christmas day. [$795, The Future Perfect; 115 N. 6^th at Berry St, Brooklyn; thefutureperfect.com]

Look at this fucking teacup with legs!! Yee-haw! <3 [$59.00; available online at supermarkethq.com]

While you’re over at Other Criteria buying up cat head vases, those of you with family in sunnier climes may indicate your vague annoyance at their life choices by giving the Alex Katz Beach Towel.  According to the store description, these towels both “allude to the self-reflexive and self-conscious nature of the beach towel on which we lie” and “are machine washable.”  All this for only $95!  [Online only; othercriteria.com]

Also: OMG look at this Ed Ruscha beach towel too.

Everybody knows somebody who gets uncomfortable about how Christmastime is consumerish and not jesusy, and probably they get into fights with your kale-eating relatives about values and whatever, but no matter which side you fall on this is something we can all get behind!  It’s a God can.  There’s not anything in it!  Note: by “get behind” I mean, “use as a canvas for self-supporting religious interpretations.” Go!    [$17.80, FLOWmarket; theflowmarket.com]

This one’s for the ladies:  The Longest Lipstick In The World.  It’s a full year’s supply.  Finally! Am I right?!  [Price upon request, freddieyauner.co.uk]

Finally, we’d like to take the end of the gift list to show you the thing we think you should all have: the I Know in the Past… stamp by Dominic Wilcox.  We’re wrapping up our 2^nd year here…thanks for 24 months of being awesome everybody!  Happy New Year! <3 [$24.50, Areaware; areaware.com]

Some enterprising RISD students have gone and designed themselves a set of moustaches inspired by summer 1980′s most wanted criminals (an excellent accomplishment in itself).  BUT! They also went ahead and collected the looks into a bangin 2011 calendar that can be yours for only $15.00.  Buy it here!  Or, as it turns out, at every single bookstore in Brooklyn.  Go figure.

(thanks, Ricky!)

We don’t normally make posts about street art, because you know, Banksy and André and whatever.  But we’re going to make an exception for this one because it is hilarious! ..and is not about a tank shooting cupcakes.

The rest of the series after the jump!  And see more of this guy’s work here.  Also, ha ha!

(via we like that)

I’m digging the work of LA-based sculptor Robert Wechsler big time.  Above is a dangerously altered toaster from 2006 called Vacancy, and there’s also this manhole cover shaped like a penny, and there’s also the flamboyantly titled “The best circular bike ever made, at UCSB, by a guy whose last name starts with W… or at least its it the top ten” which, whatever, it’s a thing that looks like this:

And in spirit this kind of reminds me of that thing “Oh… this could go on forever!“– the fan sculpture created by Alexander Frater that you might remember from a few years ago:

You know??

Ok so, seeing as how you are almost certainly a design-art-internet enthusiast, you may have seen the links going around to fund Design Glut‘s new jewelry line on Kickstarter.  ”Well,” you might have said, “those girls are pretty and I love their designs but WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE THIS NEW ONE? I don’t know what it is!! What then??“

Well, first of all: you should believe them when they tell you what’s good.  And second of all HERE ARE THE EXCLUSIVE FUCKING RENDERINGS THEY JUST SENT US and the designs are amazing!  They are all enameled, acid-etched stainless steel– see above the dachshund necklace whose leash is the chain, and see the rest after the jump…

So far they have made roughly $2,500 $5,500 $7,000 OMG THEY DID IT!! toward the $10,000 they need to get these produced and launched, so let’s all help them realize this project and make a donation!  Details here!

Flipping Open/Closed sign necklace:

JEWELS:

My personal favorite…the off-the-hook telephone:

Lernert & Sander McQueen vacuums

French music-fashion duo, No Smarties faves and all-around niceguys Kitsuné made this heartwarming video to show off their SS11 collection.  Models race to put on clothes and the winner gets a kiss.  <3

Hot tip:  everyone go see the Sarah Sze installations at Tanya Bonakdar gallery in Chelsea!  They are disorienting and huge and make you feel like you’re in the land of the lost boys in Hook.  One day we’ll live up to our press pass and become real journalists that remember to charge their camera batteries before they leave the apartment, but until then, more mediocre iPhone pics after the jump!

Tanya Bonakdar Gallery
521 West 21st Street
New York, NY 10011

2nd floor:

Hunting Blind, 2008

Robert Stadler installation in a Parisian church

Yow!  Look at this thing.  It’s a stool made out of porcelain and wood by badass-named designer Judith van den Boom, which ok, it’s supposed to be pillows or something but obviously this actually just looks like a melted Big Hunk.  Right?  I know you haven’t thought about those since you were 5 and your dad got them for you at gas stations on road trips, so, you’re welcome.