No Socks Required...

Paying it Forward is Never Cliché

2019-04-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

It’s a story so profound and wonderfully written; I cannot take credit for it, myself. It has a catching beginning, a climactic conflict, and the chapters continue to be written. It is a story touched by God and would not be possible without His Grace.

The story begins with a regular family receiving a diagnosis that shook the ground they stood on. A diagnosis that was dark and scary because of the unknown. But what the main characters of this story didn’t know is that one brave little three-year-old nonverbal boy and a village would become the heroes to this story. And the legacy of their work would put an imprint on a mother's heart. God would send angels disguised as teachers, aids, coaches, students, and therapist.

Teagan today: 2019

Many of these people we would not have otherwise met merely because it was a single diagnosis that brought us together. The plan was written long before Teagan and I but was brought to light that faithful day in April when autism became his label. But the label can not adequately describe what is in Teagan and these people saw there was more than a label. A little light flickering inside him would became a fire that grew stronger with each breath these angels took.

As the story played out, those who only knew his name would change the course of the story and keep it on track. These people were not merely showing up for work each day, but they were showing up in a little boy’s life and crafting it into something that would be more epic than a Shakespearean tale. These people were regular folks who worked tirelessly to transform a little life from just being to thriving: not just ordinary people but amazing people using their gift to do extraordinary tasks. Their work often unseen would make a difference that would impact the journey of Teagan. And his accomplishments would be credited to them.

Just a few of the Amazing teachers Teagan had the honor to have

Just a few of the Amazing Coaches Teagan had the honor to play for

Over the years, through fundraisers, Team Teagan has been able to help local individuals who are diagnosed with autism. We purchased a bicycle for an adult on the spectrum who needed a way to get to work. We have purchased weighted blankets for children on the spectrum so they could rest and get some sleep that had alluded them. We purchased a service dog for a child who needed a canine friend. We have sent kids to specialized summer camps. We have paid therapy bills, electric bills, and bought school supplies. We have donated to groups on a similar autism mission who had a broader reach then we had. And each one of these donations helped a person or family get through another day on the spectrum. But I wanted more. My goal was always to help out a vast number of children, those who I would never know their name, their face, or their story.

After much thought and prayer, I found an opportunity to extend the reach of Team Teagan at a local primary school. And not just any school but the one where Teagan started his journey. This school's staff is credited with helping Teagan get through the autism tunnel and find light to lead a fulfilling life and overcome the struggles the diagnosis brings. The donation did more than I could ever envision! Roughly two hundred items purchased for a total of $14,000. At this primary school we were able to take an empty room and turn it into a sensory room equipped with visual, tactile and other sensory toys. We added to the playground- two new swings and a merry go cycle. The sensory room is a calming space for relaxation while stimulating the little one's brains. Glorious space! Team Teagan was also able to donate funds, so the school could add various equipment and technology to bring the Special Ed rooms up to date. The rooms also feature two large touchscreen interactive smartboards. Amazing!

Example of Merry Go Cycle, Heartland

Example of Clevertouch Interactive Board

This donation was the opportunity to fulfill a life goal of helping others for years and years....many people...having a reach that is beyond my imagination. Giving teachers and aids the supplies they need to help these children reach a new level of achievement. Touring the facility was a very touching, emotional, and exciting experience for Teagan and I!

Teagan touring the new outdoor play area.

This donation was not about paying back but paying forward. It is a gift in honor of all those who played a role in our story and helping the next child and parent who walks through the threshold, scared of the unknown. Whether you donated time or money to Team Teagan, whether you were a shoulder to cry on when the story was bleak, if you put your soul into helping Teagan, or you were just an encourager, a fellow autism warrior, this gift is in your name. From volunteers to donors, to friends and family, to parents, to coaches, to teachers, to aids and therapist, you are the heart of what makes Team Teagan beat. And we graciously end the month of Autism Awareness with this:

Continue to fight the good fight to bring light to generations of kids and adults who wake up and challenge the status quo of the autism spectrum disorder!

View this photo gallery of all the wonderful items this school is using in the PPCD room!

Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom

2018-06-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

Some days the morning prayer is simple, “Please watch over my family and friends. Give us what we need and always give glory to You for our blessings. Thank you for all you have given us. Amen.” Other days the prayer is more ambiguous, “Please guide me to make the best choice for our family. Amen.”. And, well some days the prayer is more a plea for help, “I’m lost, I do not know what to do. Help!”

Some days I feel forsaken, “Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom?”

Living on a prayer.

There is always hope in any problem just sometimes it’s a solution we didn’t see or didn’t consider. I pray to see these opportunities and make the most of the resources I have. Some days this is a new idea, or motivation from a friend...and some days I just cannot find the solution. Many people ask me, "how do you do it all?". The simple answer is I don't, some days I am living on a prayer and that's it.

Three times the fun.

I have three kids and to have one school year where everything goes great for all three is seldom. There is always one of the three that needs me more than the others. When Teagan started school, my middle child was thriving in Kindergarten but my oldest was in middle school trying to find her way. When Teagan got to 2nd grade, the the oldest was sailing, my middle child was struggling.

This school year has been one that I can truly say has challenged me and all three kids to a level we never knew. My oldest had the pressures of being a teenager in a world that does not focus on accountability or strong morals or ethics. My middle child realized that no matter what some people just wont like you or support you no matter what you do. And Teagan, well he has learned that the road is long, but there are always rewards for perseverance.

Being an advocate for someone is a heavy burden to carry. For almost 8 years, I have fought his fight. I admit, this warrior mom is tired, the warrior mom is weary, this warrior mom needs a nap!

Throughout Teagan’s school years, we have been lucky to have some awesome supporters. I am thankful for them, but they have made me lazy. When you see such teaching excellence you start to believe that every experience will be as wonderful. I begin to think- “Thank you God, they got this, I can relax.”

But it is in that moment that God has other plans. He looks at me and says “Your job is not done, my child”. And I continue forward...some days faster than others, some days with fire in my heart, and other days it is a silent contentment that I am doing the best I can.

I want to venture off this train of thought and instead of discussing the challenges we face, turn to the lessons learned. Here is my advice to teachers in special education or teaching students with a special need and to parents as you advocate for your child.

Hello Teachers!

The IEP is your friend. Have you ever needed some insight into a student to know how they learn, well most students do not have a book that tells you all about them. But a special needs learner does! It’s called an IEP, Individualized Education Program, and it is a lengthy statement of the educational program needed to meet a child's individual learning needs. Every child who receives special education services has this gem. Use it, read it, ask question about it. It tells you what goals the student is working on and how you can accommodate them to meet those goals. It’s a guide- much like a map. Would you go on a road trip without a map or navigation system?

Use the parents as a resource. With technology, you no longer have to hope a note gets home. You can text, email, call or use a chat app to reach out to parents.

Teacher: Teagan seems off task a lot today. Is everything ok? Is there any thing I can do to help?

Me: Thanks for reaching out. Teagan hasn’t been sleeping well lately so that would impact his attention. We are working to get him in bed and to sleep through the night. If he needs to complete some of the work at home with me, please send it with him and I will help him.

Sometimes a restless child could appear to be misbehaving but with a child with special needs a disruption in sleep or life routines could impact his ability at school. Most parents are willing to help if asked. Remember many special needs learners cannot fully communicate to you their feelings and often cannot tell their parents that they are falling behind in school. Don’t you have days that you are unmotivated or tired?

Variety is the spice of life. Have you ever explained something to a friend and they didn’t understand but another person reexplains it and they get it? It’s not necessarily that your explanation wasn’t clear but there was a barrier to learning. Some times when another student, teacher, or parent reexplains a concept or process to the special needs learner - they get it! Do not let your ego impact your ability to ask for help with the students. It takes a village, right?

And Parents, this one's for you.

Do not give up, EVER! I have been guilt of this. If my suggestion falls on deaf ears after a few tries, I throw in the towel. The road is long and exhausting but your child needs you. Keep at it, continue to communicate with the school, continue to offer suggestions, continue to advocate for your child.

Focus on goals. Of course, I want my child to learn but I also want him to be confident, kind, and happy. So, maybe this year your child didn’t make any solid friendships but did he make strides in another area? Did he finally get a skill that was nonexistent at the start of the school year? Always celebrate the milestones-progress is progress no matter if it is one step or five.

Final Thoughts...

So, as we move from school routine to summer, embrace the time with your child. Enjoy the little things, what goals will your child accomplish in the next few months, what will you focus on in the new school year in the fall? And by the way, when I asked “Are you there God, it’s me Teagan’s mom”...He answered.

Introducing Casey, A Special Olympics Athlete

2016-04-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

Team Teagan challenged autism families to tell their story. This month, Team Teagan asked Ausume families to message us and tell us about their inspiring autism story.

We will feature stories this month that inspire us...make us love the autism journey a little more!

Up now is an Olympic Athlete!

Casey is a Special Olympics Winner!

Casey’s dad started Casey’s story like many of us autism parents do “Where to begin........? Well Casey’s story starts off pretty normal, or so we thought”. Like many of our own children, “Casey was a healthy 7 pound 14 ounce beautiful blue eyed boy”.

Like Teagan, Casey was not a difficult baby but soon his parents noticed some changes. Up until a year old, Casey did “normal” baby things, however, his parents noticed his crawling came late and that delayed his walking too.

Despite this common mobility delay, Casey was always aware of his surroundings and had great eye contact…but soon everything changed. Like many of us, Casey’s parents chalked it up to a “late bloomer”. But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Casey’s development got slower and slower.

Being the first child in the family, his parents were not really sure what to expect and did not totally clue in to the delays as a major problem or a clue of what was to come. It was not until Casey was 2.5 years old that his parents finally heard the word come from a health care professional’s mouth. AUSTIM! Casey’s mom “looked at her [the nurse] and said NO!!” Soon that statement turned to “OUR SON HAS AUTISM!!!”

And that my folks started Casey and his parent’s journey in Autism. Casey’s dad described him and his wife as having “blinders” on, but I am certain it is just a lack of understand that they once had that contributed to them never realizing that Casey had Autism. I know I can relate to that. But at that moment when it all became so clear, Casey’s dad described my own families journey in autism the same “the world ended, time stopped, the tears flowed, then we went into education mode. What is this condition, how do we fix it, how do we make our baby better”.

Sadly, as we all know oh to well there is no magic pill or quick fix but there are a lot of tools and techniques that can help kids like Teagan and Casey. Although it was a rocky start, Casey was enrolled in school but the battle did not end there. The program was not designed for individuals with autism so finally at age 5 his parents found a program that worked for Casey and he flourished.

As the months turned into years, Casey was soon sent to a special needs camp and “it changed his life. He found out he was not alone in the world and there were others like him. After a week of camp he was forever changed. He was a different kid when he came home, happy, vocal, and just "better". He goes back every year; and every year he gets better”, according to Casey’s dad.

And if all this is not inspiring enough, Casey soon started competing in Special Olympics. He is a competitor in the 50 meter walk and the shot put. The challenge of Special Olympics has pushed him; and so far he has risen to the challenge. Although Casey has made some tremendous strides he still struggles at home, school, and in public from time to time. But just as other Warrior Parents have reported, Casey’s dad wants everyone to realize that “being nonverbal and not being able to communicate fully your needs and wants would push any person to the edge.” Casey and his parents have learned their own set of “special signs and communicate a lot through technology via iPods and tablets as well as good old fashion pen and paper”.

And in the words of his dad “without a doubt he is my hero and I am his biggest fan. "
Casey is Team Teagan’s hero too!

If you enjoyed this story about Casey, join us on Team Teagan at https://www.facebook.com/TXTeamTeagan/

Introducing Super Hero Patrick!

2016-04-05T07:29:00.002-07:00

Team Teagan challenged autism families to tell their story. This month, Team Teagan asked Ausume families to message us and tell us about their inspiring autism story.

We will feature stories this month that inspire us...make us love the autism journey a little more!

First up we have Patrick. Patrick is a real live Super Hero!

According to Patrick's mother he was diagnosed last year. Prior to the diagnosis of autism, Patrick's family knew little about ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Some of the signs that Patrick's parents missed (much like most parents) included a delay in speech and social anxiety. He also did not make eye contact, like strangers touching him or picking him up, and he didn't know how to communicate his problems to his family. Patrick's mom wrote: "It was difficult at first. We couldn't figure out what he wanted at times or what was wrong. In public, people would just stare or make comments."

Just like us at Team Teagan, Patrick's mom believes that "it's not okay that society isn't more educated on autism. Our kids are not brats or behaving badly. They don't know how to react or process to certain things".

Since Patrick's diagnosis he has gotten appropriate therapies and other help that he needs. Patrick is now saying a few words and uses his sign language techniques to communicate.

And in the words of his mom "Autism is his super power". We agree, Mom! Patrick is a shining example of winning!

If you enjoyed this story about Patrick, join us on Team Teagan at https://www.facebook.com/TXTeamTeagan/

No, Dr. Wakefield is not a fraud

2015-02-11T10:54:00.001-08:00

Re: In response to the following editorial that appeared on the Longview News Journal at http://www.news-journal.com/opinion/editorials/editorial-don-t-let-illogical-fears-keep-you-from-vaccinating/article_cc984566-2a04-5e9b-a263-cc31d1cb0ecb.html

On February 10, 2015, the LNJ Editor wrote a editorial entitled "Don’t let illogical fears keep you from vaccinating your children" in which the editor described a fraudulent study published by Dr. Andrew Wakefield concerning a connection with autism, bowel disorder and vaccines, more specifically the connection between the MMR vaccine (Measles, Mumps, and Rubella combo vaccine) and the development of autism. The information in the LNJ editorial was inaccurate and I would like to set the record straight. Sadly, mainstream media ran with the story about a fraudulent study yet never revisited the subject when more information was available. Like in the said editorial the false information continues to be spread and does not give parents the information they need to make an informed decision about vaccinating their children.

I am not here to convince you of the dangers of vaccines nor the benefits of them. Instead my motive is to give you sound information about the research that has been published or lack thereof. The decision is a personal one and something that should not be determined before researching the information beyond what mainstream media provides.

In short, Dr. Andrew Wakefield published a paper in the British Journal of Medicine and the Lancet Journal with the following conclusion: There could be a measles/gut disorder connection to autistic behavior and these findings merit further research and study on the matter. The study did include 12 other studies that examined the link between the MMR vaccine and bowel disorder. These 12 other studies have not been discredited.

Dr. Wakefield does not claim to be an anti-vaccine doctor. Instead his stated mission is safety with vaccines and his studies led him, other researchers and doctors to determine that a safer approach to the MMR vaccine is to vaccinate with single vaccines verses the common practice of 3 vaccines in one, like the MMR vaccine. He also suggested a more liberal vaccine schedule. The current vaccine schedule results in roughly 25 shots in the first 15 months of life. In 2011, the work of pediatrician Dr. Robert W. Sear suggests spreading these same shots out over 5 to 6 years.

Now back to Dr. Wakefield. What went unreported in the mainstream media is BMJ (British Journal of Medicine) and Lancet's strong financial ties to the manufacturer of the MMR vaccine. Mainstream media also will not report that the co- author of Dr. Wakefield's paper, Prof. John Walker-Smith, fought the fraud allegations in court legal and won. He was completely exonerated .

One major issue with the vaccine/autism debate is the impact that mercury/thimerosal used in the vaccines has on children. The vaccine manufacturers Merck Pharmaceuticals and Smithkline-Beecham Pharmaceuticals were asked to reduce the amount of mercury in vaccines from 237 mcg to 100 mgc in infant vaccines in the 1990s. This would mean that infants born starting in September 1999 would receive the same amount of mercury as infants in the 1980's. In 1980 the autism rate was 1 in 10,000. The statistics today have this rate at 1 in 68. Studies by the CDC and the Institute of Medicine in 2000 that were not reported in the mainstream media indicated that fraudulent epidemiological science reports were used to convince the masses that mercury in vaccines was indeed safe. In 2001, research papers about mercury poisoning revealed that autism and mercury poisoning symptoms are identical. In 2002 Congress inserted a provision into the Homeland Security Bill to prevent lawsuits over the mercury in vaccines and any injuries that might occur. However, a little known fact is that the U.S. government has set up a Vaccine Injury Court that has paid millions of dollars to families of children injured by vaccines. Like the U.S., Italy has a national vaccine injury compensation program and in 2004 the court found that a child had “been damaged by irreversible complications due to the MMR vaccination. In May 23, 2012, an Italian court found that the Measles-Mumps-Rubella vaccine (MMR), had caused a child’s autism. Then in September 2014, an Italian court ruled that a child suffered autism and brain damage because of the neurotoxic mercury, aluminum found in the vaccination. All of these cases were part of a U.S. media blackout and never covered by the U.S. press.

At one time our media serve as the watchdog for the public. However that is no longer the case and we as consumers must now be our own watchdog and question everything and research beyond the mainstream media and look for connections between outcomes of studies and the money trail that follows.

The decision to vaccinate or not vaccinate should not be made out of fear or lack of information. To say the work of Dr. Wakefield is fraudulent is erroneous and irresponsible on the part of the media.

No, Ms. Wright...That is not Autism!

2013-11-14T09:42:00.001-08:00

Ms. Suzanne Wright, co-founder of Autism Speaks, and grandmother to an autistic child, took time this week to call for a National Autism Plan, based entirely on her opinion that autism has "stolen" three million kids, and is making those kids' families miserable. Beyond miserable, she states. These kids are missing, they are ill!

"These families are not living."

"They are existing. Breathing –yes. Eating – yes. Sleeping- maybe. Working- most definitely - 24/7."

"This is autism."

"Life is lived moment-to-moment. In anticipation of the child’s next move. In despair. In fear of the future. "

"This is autism."

"On bad days, they are depleted. Mentally. Physically. And especially emotionally"

"Maybe they are up yet again changing the sheets because there’s been another bed wetting accident"

"Maybe their insurance won’t pay."

"This is autism."

No, Ms. Wright, what you have described is not autism…it is called parenting. And I have experienced all of the above with all 3 of my kids, with only 1, Teagan having autism. My Teagan is not missing, he is not ill, I am not just existing.

To say my family is not living because of autism is ridiculous…to say we are just "existing" is nonsense. To say Teagan is ill is ignorant.

Let me tell you a little about my family and our life! Autism does not define us… We love with no regrets, we play in the rain, we stay up late at night watching cartoons, we eat cereal for breakfast and sometimes candy instead, we play hide n seek, we are late to soccer practice but early to parties. We swim in the pool, we catch snowflakes on our tongue, we make sandcastles, we hug. We run barefoot through the grass and look for bugs under rocks. We feel the wind on our cheeks, our fingers feel the fuzzy fur of our family dogs, we love ice cream sandwiches and extra cheese on our meals.

Look at this picture….does it look like someone NOT LIVING and JUST EXISTING?! This, Ms Wright, is autism!

2012-04-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

Gizzy "Guardian" Guire

Today has been a busy but very blessed day. Besides Gizzy coming into our lives, I have been flooded with questions about her! So what better way to explain our Gizzy story than to BLOG!

When planning the FireFly 5K run, a dear friend said, "Why don't you make this fundraiser for Teagan to get him a service dog?" I thought about it...considered it...but felt in my heart that the FireFly 5K needed to focus on the needs of all kids, not just specifically Teagan. This is the reason that the money raised was donated to Autism Speaks. This money was intended to help all kids like Teagan and their challenges brought on by autism. The FireFly 5K was also focused on awareness...not on the needs of Teagan but on the myths and misconceptions the general public has about autism. The FireFly 5K brought together 250 runners and their families and raised close to $10,000 in the name of autism awareness. It still amazes me that a small little town like Longview, Texas, a few dedicated volunteers, and a community of supporters pulled off one of the biggest autism 5K's in East Texas. Teagan is one lucky little boy for many reasons and at times I feel that it is our calling to promote autism awareness for ALL kids not just Teagan.

An autism service dog comes with a $15, 000-$20,000 price tag. Danny and I have gone back and forth about getting Teagan a service dog. First, the price is a consideration. This is $15K-$20K out of pocket...no price breaks, no tax breaks, and no discounts. Secondly, the need of this dog is a consideration. We ask is Teagan in a real need of a service dog? Will a service dog help keep him safe from his wandering? Will a service dog help reduce the self simulation (AKA stimming) that he does daily? Will a service dog help reduce the meltdowns that Teagan experiences daily? And Finally, the wait. Service dog companies train THEIR dog and then place it in a home of need. The waiting list are longer than a wait at Wal-mart on Black Friday! We could wait for years!! And generally dogs are assigned on an "as need basis" based on the severity of the case. Since Teagan is mild and high functioning, he is not placed high on these list.

This morning a beautiful, youthful Lab/Golden Retriever pup wandered into our yard. She was bright eyed, cheerful with a sweet disposition. She also had a microchip tag. I called the tag company who indicated that the ID# I reported was for a Lab/Golden Retriever mix named Gizzy! I was connected with the owner, who told a story of how Gizzy was now an inconvenience in his life. He indicated that he in the oil business and was now traveling from East Texas to South Texas for work. He travels often and usually for long periods of time. His girlfriend was in charge of Gizzy but had moved this week into an apartment that did not accept pets. She then gave Gizzy to a friend who had decided today that they did not want Gizzy and were planning to turn her over to the pound on Monday. Gizzy ran away- just in time! Gizzy has been cared for and vaccinated by the owner. She knows a handful of commands and is wonderful with kids. When the owner said to me on the phone..."She is a wonderful dog, but I do not want her" my heart broke for her...but my mind began to race. Gizzy has the exact temperament of a service dog. In addition, autism service dogs are generally Newfoundland, bloodhound, border collie, Yellow Labs, or golden retrievers.

Many of our friends have asked today: "what will a service dog do for Teagan?"

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Behavior	Response
Self Stimulation	Will Signal Handler to Behavior, Handler May Choose to Stop
Self Harming	Will Interrupt Behavior
Overstimulation/Meltdown/Shutdown	Deep Pressure Tasks: Step on Foot, Paws on Lap, Lie on Handler
Poor balance/motor control	Counter-balance, brace for stability
Disorientation	Find the car, go home, find other specified places
Auditory Processing Problems	Alert to important sounds
Visual Processing Problems	Guide Work - steer around obstacles
Wandering	Follow the child, alert guardian, redirect child back home.

Most service dogs are trained as pups and spend their lives servicing a special needs individual. The dogs must be good with kids, energetic, and love people. Gizzy is all of these things!! Since researching service dogs and trainers for a little over a year, I realized that Gizzy is a perfect match for this responsibility! She is just what Teagan needs. I contacted a trainer I had read about in California and he agrees that Gizzy was born to be Teagan's service dog. I am now looking for a local service dog trainer to help with her training.

It is no accident that Gizzy showed up in my yard today! She could have picked any yard in our neighborhood...but she picked Teagan's house! I have been overwhelmed with dealing with insurance and paperwork and appeals. Gizzy is such a bright light for us today and for years to come! Silent prayers of the heart have been answered.

Autism Awareness Month...should last longer than 30 days!

2012-04-04T07:45:00.001-07:00

All over the world on April 2, people took notice of World Autism Awareness Day! Cities are lighting up Blue! Front porches are shining blue lights! This is tremendous! But with that blue light, we need to add compassion and understanding to the world of autism!

On April 7th, Team Teagan hosted the First Annual FireFly 5K/1 mi Walk, Run! It's safe to say we had the biggest Autism run in East Texas. We had 250 runners and raised close to $10,000 for Autism Speaks! The evening of April 7th was a bit brighter thanks to all the FireFlies that showed up to show support for the Autism Community.

Here are the reasons that Autism Awareness should be Important to you!

1)Because we have a new epidemic on our hands, my friends! 1 in 88 kids are diagnosed with autism, according to reports this week by the CDC (Center for Disease Control). An estimated 1 out of 54 boys and 1 in 252 girls are diagnosed with autism in the United States. By way of comparison, this is more children than are affected by diabetes, AIDS, cancer, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy or Down syndrome, combined (AutismSpeaks). ASD affects over 2 million individuals in the U.S. and tens of millions worldwide.

It is likely that if you do not personally know Teagan, you do know a family who has a child with autism...that family might be yours! These families need the world's support, now more than ever!

2) Because autism is misunderstood! The media makes autism out to be the new genius! Even though I love the new show Touch (on Fox) and have always loved the movie Rainman, these individuals featured on this show with autism are not the normal. Many kids with autism are brilliant and have a different type of intelligence, much like researcher Howard Gardner described in his book Leading Minds. Since 1999, Gardner has identified eight intelligences: linguistic, logic-mathematical, musical, spatial, bodily/kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalistic. Gardner is still considering a ninth, or existential intelligence. His research had nothing to do with autism. When it comes to the intelligence level of a child with autism, this has nothing to do with the disability per say. This is a misconception of many, so having an autism awareness month allows for truth and facts on autism to be revealed!

3) Because there are teachers who love their special education jobs! There is a rare type of educator working with children who are autistic. These special education teachers have a challenging job. But they continue to be devoted to the well being of the children they work with. This includes a number of school speech therapist, physical therapist, and occupational therapist! Autism Awareness Month should acknowledge these self-less individuals who make an impact in a child's life.

4) Because friends find the joy that children with autism, like Teagan bring to the world, despite their challenges. Supportive friends make daily life wonderful! Individuals who care what is happening in Teagan's life and share the story of Teagan and others on the spectrum make April a fabulous month. They enjoy the pictures and comments about Teagan as much as Danny and I do! At the FireFly run, there were people wearing Team Teagan shirts, who I did not even personally know! Amazing!! In addition, several people who do not know me personally were asking..."where's Teagan, I need to meet this kid?"

5)Because of siblings like Taylor and Tristan who hold Teagan's hand when he needs it! It's not easy being a sibling of a child with autism. Danny and I try very hard to ensure that the shadow of autism does not block the sunlight from any of our children. Every day Taylor and Tristan look beyond his disability and look more into who he is as a person, a child, a sibling! They love him...they play with him...they include him...they often do not notice his autism.

7) Because of neighbors who look out for children like Teagan. Teagan is a wanderer, so having neighbors who look out for his sudden bolts down the street are priceless. It takes a village to raise a child.

8) Because of community support. 250 Runners signed up for a first annual FireFly 5k run benefiting Autism and numerous sponsors donating money and goods...well that, speaks for itself!

9) Because of doctors and therapist! These individuals work hard to ensure Teagan is healthy and happy. They also are willing to make referrals for services that Teagan can benefit. They help me fight the insurance company with letters and diagnosis codes!

10) Because of children just like Teagan, that light up the world, not just on April 2nd and not just through the month of April but every day, every month...all the time!

Are you blue?

2012-03-31T04:17:00.000-07:00

Years ago the catch phrase for Motel 6 was..."we'll leave the light on for ya". When we enter a dark room in our homes...we first turn on the lights. The light dispels darkness. Light is also a symbol of truth, wisdom, and purity, as seen in the light of things holy. Our nations symbol, the Statue of Liberty, even holds a light. President Cleveland spoke about her light, stating that the "stream of light shall pierce the darkness of ignorance..." During October, we encourage our children to visit homes that have their light on, in hopes of getting their plastic bags and baskets filled with goodies for Halloween. It is the light that says "you are welcome here". The use of light has been around well, since after the dark ages :) The Chinese have used lanterns for centuries as a way of communicating with neighbors. The color of the light indicated the mood of the home at that time.

Darkness is a symbol of death, morning, and illness. A dark establishment is uninviting, vacant, and cold. At times of death and morning we look for the light to bring comfort and peace. Even now, we use light in our homes to represent life, living, and warmth. We use fire to light, warm, and comfort. We use candles to add light, warmth, and comfort, as well. The use of light means security.

For those who have disabilities on the autism spectrum- darkness is very common. Schools for decades have hidden these children, hospitals have placed them as outcast, people have bullied these special individuals. Our society for centuries has pushed away those who are not the "norm". Darkness is common...darkness for these individuals is the norm. There is no open door, no light on for individuals on the autism spectrum, based on our society's view. And you and I have created this darkness. My son, Teagan, walks through that darkness daily although his face could light up a moonless midnight sky. Finding "houses" with the light on...is few and far between. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) announced that America has an epidemic on their hands- its name is Autism. The CDC reported this week that 1 in 88 kids have autism, that is 1 in 54 boys! This shows that autism is up 23% since 2006 and 78% since 2002. YIKES! In addition, studies now show that 1 in 50 kids, school age (6-17 yrs old) have autism. And autism costs the U.S. $137 billion a year.

So I ask you my dear friends...will you turn your light on for Teagan and millions of others just like him? Or will he encounter your "house"...with fear and darkness?

For centuries, individuals with disabilities, including but not limited to autism spend their entire life on Earth in a dark place. This darkness is in rejection and lack of acceptance due to ignorance. It is our very society that leads individuals to isolation and pain. Every day there is a reminder that "you do not fit in". However, everyday, parents like myself look for "houses" that are compassionate and willing to help. My lil Teagan will not grow up in darkness...his life is too bright for a light to be turned off because of a diagnosis. Of course, our lives together will be filled with pain, heartache and suffering, but not darkness. It is the simple symbol of light that will brighten our day- and that light is hope!

It is the light of hope that I am asking you to shine. You can show the world that you support Teagan and other children like him, in his quest to live life to the fullest with every opportunity that this life can offer him. On April 2nd, 2013, in honor of World Autism Awareness Day, my house will be lit- blue. My porch will shine with the brilliance of blue lights- letting the world know that we are hope, we have light in our home. You can join me with a simple act of placing blue lights in your porch lights for 1 night- April 2nd. Stop by Home Depot and purchase a blue light bulb for just a couple bucks to replace your existing porch light. Our house stays lit the entire month of April!

"By taking part in this campaign, you will bring hope and encouragement to countless individuals on the autism spectrum and their loved ones. Stand with the autism community, and let your commitment to our cause shine bright." -Amy Gravino, a Self-Advocate, Writer, Asperger’s Syndrome College Coach

So I ask you again my dear friends...will you turn your BLUE light on for Teagan and millions of others just like him? Or will he encounter your "house"...with fear and darkness?

Autism $@#$%! Sucks!

2012-02-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

I woke this morning with a heavy heart and swollen eyes..thinking about Teagan and the A word and suffering through allergies for the first time in my life (damn you Springtime). It's not often that I have these moments of heartache and self pity, but when I do they are monumental. I guess when you are strong for so long, eventually, you break, even just for a moment, only to rebuild. I had such an overwhelming heavy feeling on my chest this morning, I couldn't even get up to work out like I do daily at 5am. Nope-- instead I rolled over to try to go back to sleep hoping this crappy nightmare would go away. Autism is not going away! And the nationwide numbers are getting worse. 1 in 91 kids! I remember just a few short years ago it was 1 in 150 kids.

Autism SUCKS! I have a lil genus on my hands who struggles everyday just to make a complete sentence. That sucks! Yet, I can hand him a book and he'll read it to me...better than my 4 year old. I have a lil sweetheart who has no concept of potty training, except if he goes in the potty, mommy will give him a popsicle. We go through a lot of pullups...and a hell of a lot of popsicles!! That sucks. I have an innocent 3 year old obsessed with cars, buses and trucks...big trucks! Our ride to school in the morning consist of talk about cars, buses and big trucks! But ask him what he did at school that day- and I get nothing! That sucks! I have a smart little toddler who is so locked into a routine, I do not have to walk him to his classroom. I can actually trust that he will find his way, more than I can trust that my 10 year old will remember to bring her math worksheet home. His robotic mind might seem amazing...but it sucks that anything out of routine makes it seem like he is new to the planet Earth!

What sucks even more is that he goes through his day with a smile not even knowing yet that Autism is like a black cloud over his head. Seeing your child suffer is tough, but having little control over it SUCKS. Of course, we have therapy...tons of therapy! Which sucks too. Who wants to have your child in therapy....indefinitely! Then there are the battles with insurance companies! They suck too! I do not know how many times I have said...."you raise a child with autism and then see if you have an attitude when you tell me NO to a service he needs to survive!!!" Insurance companies do not care...their representatives do not care. But I sure as hell make sure they get my perspective. Not one single representative I have talked to in the last 2 years get off the phone with me, without me telling them exactly what it is like to have autism in your world! Of course, I probably could tell them in a nicer tone...but nice or rude...neither gets me anywhere with them...so I opt for rude, as it is like my own little proverbial punching bag.

I guess with April (Autism Awareness month), the upcoming 5K/1mi run for autism I am hosting, along with the daily grind of dealing with autism....it has caught up to me. Autism sucks. I would have never asked for autism in my life, I would have never wanted to be an advocate for the cause. I use to joke when my first child was born, that I was going to save the world- if I could just find a babysitter, damn it. Now with 3 kids in tow, God has asked me to save the world...one day at a time, with one small task at a time, with a sweet innocent face looking back at me. When I graduated from high school I wanted to go into the Peace Corps. Coming from a military family, my mom quickly talked me out of it since she did not want to see her youngest daughter stationed in war torn countries. Ironically, that desire to help, aid, and advocate has come full circle. Who would have thought that I would be so focused on pushing awareness for a disorder that was unheard of just a decade ago.

Does my life suck?? In short no. I have a beautiful house, a wonderful career, a solid marriage, and wonderful kids I adore! Does autism suck? More than you can ever imagine.

My request today for those reading this...do me a small favor. Make it your goal today to tell 1 person about autism...or direct one person to the Team Teagan facebook page...or give one person who has a newly diagnosed child with autism my email. Awareness is like a domino effect...Autism is a huge mystery...be part of the team looking to solve this mystery that leaves families devastated, children isolated, and moms like me heartbroken at the task in front of them.

Got Stim?

2011-10-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

One good obsession deserves another!

One of common behaviors associated with autism is repetitive, obsessive actions. We spend a lot of time each day redirecting Teagan who gets caught up in something. He can easily fall into a day of repetitive behavior...one after another and another, AND another. I am not going to lie - it gets on my last nerve from time to time. I often find myself saying "Teeeeaaagan, stop it". He laughs or ignores me...However, I stage an intervention mostly because his drive to do it does not fulfill a healthy need but rather a compulsive need that is not required to thrive. This behavior is counterproductive. Not to mention that this behavior is not socially acceptable. He will have to learn that he has to redirect himself to more productive behaviors. His obsessions are self stimulating, so finding alternatives are hard.

I spend a lot of time getting down to his eye level...looking him in the eyes and explaining why I am redirecting him. Having good eye contact is a struggle for Teagan so this is something we work on daily too. He has actually gotten a lot better- I mean ALOT. There was a time when Teagan would play with toys and I would sit across the room to see if he noticed me. There were days when I do not think Teagan even realized that we existed alongside him. You see, AutisicLand is not like DisneyLand, it does not have enough room for friends...just the child with autism. Kids like Teagan do not invite you into AutisicLand- you have to intrude in order not to lose them in AutisicLand. These days he does notice us more and more and when we make eye contact I smile and he smiles back- this is huge! I mean HUGE! He still visits AutisicLand, but he does not stay long.

Currently Teagan has two major obsessions. One requires us to have quick thinking and hiding abilities. He is obsessed with the iPhone! His first word every morning is "phone". We have lots of apps on the phone for him but he is drawn to "urban ninja" and "angry birds". He could play for hours if allowed. He actually is pretty good for his age. I am amazed at the eye hand coordination he has to make the ninja scale walls and break wooden boxes and the angry birds fly with the greatest of ease with Teagan behind the controls. Occasionally he likes to go to the reading apps or the letter/number apps. We never just "lay" our iPhones on the table because getting the phone from him requires great skill and he has to be in just the right mood to relinquish it. We started setting a timer for his time on the iPhone- sometimes it works...other times it's worse than an epic fail. This summer we were in Florida on vacation. In the house were 6 iPhones...each of which Teagan successfully sought out and confiscated each phone at least once during the stay. By the end of the week, hiding places were few and far between and the questions of the day were "have you seen my phone?" And "where's Teagan?"

Another fairly new obsession of Teagan's is automatic doors such as those at Walmart, Lowes etc. Imagine my intense fright the first time Teagan bolted from my side to activate the door and run out. Just on the other side of that door is a parking lot that he understands nothing about. Now each visit to a store is troublesome. His drive, his mission is to run in and out of the doors with no restraints. Again and again and again. It's an obsession, so once is never enough. It's tough because something within drives him to do it...a drive neither he or I understand. So once again we let him run in and out once and then usually have to carry him through the store crying as he whines "that way, that way" and points towards the door.

Now if you thought 2 obsessions were enough...Teagan disagrees! The third one is stimming- and it's a charm (insert sarcastic tone here). Oh how I hate that word! Bleh! Stimming usually associated with autism refers to repetitive behaviors such as flapping, rocking, spinning, or repetition of words and phrases. Teagan flaps his hands occasionally. He hardly ever rocks...and never spins. But he does have a repetitive language- we have named Teaganese. He actual sounds like one of the yellow minions on the movie "Despicable Me". Teagan's sentences consist of similar sounds (that are gibberish) followed by one or two real words. An example: "Bebebebebebe drink milk" Now the stimming might sound strange, but actually stimming is common to all humans. You probably even stim at times. If you've ever tapped your pen, chewed on your nails, twirled your hair, you've stimmed. The biggest differences between autistic and typical stimming are the type of stimming and the quantity of stimming. While socially we accept nail biting to an extent, if someone next to you in an airplane began flapping your hands...you might be uncomfortable with their behavior. Generally, autistic stimming has a negative connotation in our society. Teagan's common stims are moving his hands in front of his face....watching his fingers wiggle and making a growling sounds and airplane sounds....mind you he does this at home AND in public. The sound effect stim he does is actually pretty cool. He might be the next Michael Winslow (the sound effect guy who was in the movie "Police Academy")

Like any other human, individuals with autism will stim to self regulate. It helps us manage feelings, such as anxiety, fear or frustration. "Normal" people can self regulate with breathing, self talk, sleeping, relaxing, shutting their eyes, but a child with autism does not have this self regulation control in their brain or at least it does not function as it should.

Danny and I always thought that Teagan's stimming in public was OBVIOUS and a big sign to everyone that he has autism. At first it was uncomfortable for us, since if someone notices his "autistic" behavior they might start to have negative thoughts about him without giving us the opportunity to say " Teagan is autistic but he is smart, funny, loving, and overall a JOY to our lives--we LOVE him!" We have realize that explaining his behavior away does not change him, the autism, or the other person- not to mention we never get an opportunity to explain- ever. In passing one day, Danny said "next time Teagan growls in public, I'm going to growl back". Of course, I laughed and thought- yea right. Well days later while waiting on Tristan's soccer team to take the field, Teagan let out a growl. And then so did Danny. I looked at him, him at me. And we laughed out loud. Ironically, no one paid any attention to Teagan or Danny. Or maybe those who noticed were quite shocked that beside them stood a growling man and his toddler. I still laugh about this.

Maybe Teagan's stereotypical autistic behaviors were not as obvious as we had thought and even if they are...We have decided not to care.

When is Christmas BREAK?

2011-08-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Last week Teagan started school...a special program for special needs children. We were excited to get him into such a program. Under IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) “eligible” children with disabilities, ages 3-21, are entitled to receive appropriate education. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is a law ensuring services to children with disabilities throughout the nation.

Did you know more than 6.5 million infants, toddlers, children and youth with disabilities are eligible for this education?

Parents often, now a days, place children 3-5 years old in preschool. The goal is to get them ready for kindergarten and public school 1st grade- 12th. Although, I know some moms are just looking for a few hours off- AMEN- I feel ya there too! At preschool level, children should have experiences that provide a foundation that guides children academically, socially, and emotionally. In school, Teagan is exposed to social and emotional development, language and communication, emergent literacy such as reading and writing, and math- all age appropriate. He also is exposed to speech therapy and occupational therapy.

Did you know that children who attend pre-school are more likely to graduate from high school and continue onto college?

Of course, the above all sounds great. A wonderful euphoria of education! And as an educator myself...this warms my heart! However, after Day 1Teagan did not see it this way and his heart was not warm, but his head was from the fit he was throwing. We talked to Teagan for weeks about school. How much fun it would be...preparing him for his new adventure. Usually my stories about his school...ended with him saying "Blue's Clues" and singing "Circle Time". For those not familiar with Blue's Clues...it's a blue dog who has a human friend (Steve or Joe, depending on the date of the episode). Blue goes to school often with his friends and spends his days exploring his world looking for Clues. The clues are designated as blue paw prints. Ironically, one day while in Spring Hill at Sonic, older brother Tristan (3 yrs old at the time) spotted a Blue Paw Print...and shouted "I found a Clue, a clue!" To which, Teagan starts signing the Blue's Clue theme song!

So the first week of school came--- and thank God it was a short one!

Day1, Week 1: Wake up Teagan at 6:30am. He is happy and excited to get dressed and go "bye bye". He walked into school holding my hand and held off on his melt down until he realized I was not staying in his classroom, but he was! Needless to say, his teacher reported he had a good day and he was happy when he got out of school that day.

Day 2, Week 1: Wake up Teagan at 6:30am. Not so great. Teagan was cranky and fighting me to get dressed and load up in the car! He took his shoes off three times...and once threw it at my head...he did not miss either! His teacher again reported he had a good day and again he was happy when he got out of school that day.

Day 3, Week 1: Wake up Teagan at 6:40am. Still not happy. TGIF means nothing to Teagan so he was as angry as a bear to get up at the crack! His teacher again reported he had a good day and again he was happy when he got out of school that day.

Did you know that children on the autism spectrum need routine and structure?

Really?! Can someone tell Teagan that he is autistic and needs routine!!

THE END OF WEEK 1. Successful...somewhat! I'll take what I can get!

So the 2nd week of school is here--- and thank God we get a long weekend ahead!

Week 2 is here and again we are off to a rough morning start! Teagan is going to bed earlier but still waking up a bear, and not a cuddly one either! And now to top it off his defiance is starting earlier and earlier- in the morning that is!

Day 1, Week 2: Today he did not wait until we got to the doors of the school to melt down....no today he started shouting "NO NO" when I turned into the school parking lot. He then proceeded to melt down in the parking lot...momentary laying down right in the middle of a parking space...not safe and not exactly how I like my Monday mornings! His teacher again reported he had a good day and again he was happy when he got out of school that day.

It is days like today that I want to look into those big Hazel eyes and say "Teagan this is good for you...you need school. Your dada and I have a long term goal that one day you will be in mainstream education and not special ed...work with us, PLEASE!" To what he would respond "SOUP?". Because eating soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner is his new obsession. **A blog on Teagan's obsessions to follow soon.**

First Day of School 2011 (Preschool and Middle School)

Did you know that preschool is the first step towards education, prosperity and becoming better human beings?

Tuesdays child is full of grace!

2011-08-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Teagan Rey Guire!

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate 'you' to the world"-unknown

Teagan--What a lucky lil feller for so many reasons! He is especially lucky because Teagan's birthday seems to fall during vacation every year!! His first birthday party was celebrated right in the middle of a Marine Corps Reunion in San Antonio. He got a big OOHRAH from the most courageous men in uniform that I know. What a truly special time and place to have a 1st birthday. "Happy First Birthday to you Teagan Rey Guire- OOHRAH!!"

Teagan's second birthday took place in beautiful St. Augustine, Florida. We were surrounded by great friends, yummy food, and beautiful scenery- the beach!! Again, we say "Happy Second Birthday, Teagan Rey Guire- Life's a Beach"

And now in 2011, Teagan celebrates his third birthday on a fabulous beach island- Navarre Beach, with family and friends. Today will be an amazing celebration of this 3rd year with lots of fun in store for everyone!

Happy Birthday Teagan Rey Guire!

"All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece"- George Harrison

So, you think you know about Holland?

2011-08-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

There are very few people who know how I feel about raising a child with autism. There are some who don't care...there are some who think they know...or pretend like they know, but very few really know. I have no time for those types of people.

Raising a child with autism is like the knot in your throat that just will not go away. You work each day to remain hopeful and positive. Although at times the skies look dark and threatening in the distance...you remain hopeful that the storm will pass you over, but you still find your umbrella and rain boots for the approaching storm. However, there are more who seek to understand how I feel...and for that, I am thankful, and so I welcome you, my friend, to Holland!

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Some things you might not of known about this Mom and Autism

2011-08-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

1. I really don't mind that Teagan is 3 and not potty trained. With Taylor and Tristan, I could not wait for the day..and with both of them it came sooner than 3. Now, I know that it really, in the whole realm of the world, does not truly matter that much. It's crazy how God puts things in perspective.

2. Some of Teagan's "typical" autism behaviors makes me giggle. I actually think it is kind of cute when he sings a song and you cannot understand the words, but you know it is "itsy bitsy spider" by the melody.

3. I love when Tristan looks Teagan in the eye, talks slower than normal and says "Teagan, would you like a cookie too?" And Teagan responds "Ok".

4. I am annoyed by moms who are sad that their child is having another birthday. The idea of a birthday is a celebration of birth, growth, and development. I want my kids to always want to embrace another God given year, not stifle at the fact that time cannot be stopped or slowed.

5. I actually love how Teagan's autism makes him much more innocent than his toddler counterparts. His eyes are so pure, his excitement is genuine, his tears are not manufactured- EVER.

6. I actually look back at all the "signs" that made us think Teagan had "autism" and now see these same behaviors and delays as just another day made for me to "break through" with him. Recently, we conquered a puzzle together. Months ago, he could not sit still long enough to place one piece...now he can do all of them.

7. I celebrate all his accomplishments, but I take credit for none.

"No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you know what my heart sounds like from the inside." -Unknown

Teagan- 18 mths

Three's a charm...in more ways than one.

2011-07-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

Patience?! You would think that with 3 kids I would have the patience of Mother Theresa. Not so much. I want things when I want them and especially when it comes to my kids. If something is not right, you can bet you will hear from me. Do I jump the gun at times...probably...ok, definitely yes! Do I regret that haste...never, when it comes to my kids, I hold true to the decision I made and never look back. I am very impulsive, but with age comes wisdom or so the old and wise say- maybe I shall get there one day. I have learned when to "hold em, when to fold em" and at times "when to walk away". Other times...I draw a line in the sand and hold my position! Never to be detoured, never to falter.

Life ISN'T about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain...!My gosh- that line has never meant so much to me- than right now. I have a storm...one that is not passing fast enough!

Summer time is a joyous season at the Guire house. We love time swimming, the heat, the lazy summer days, the vitamin D in large doses and the vacations. In addition, we celebrate several birthdays in our family...my mom's, Tristan and Teagan's, in June, July, and August. Birthdays are amazing! My parents always made us feel special on our birthday as kids. My older sister and I have birthdays within a week of one another, but we always had our own day, our own cake and our own gifts. Of course I love birthdays, hell my birthday in December has been renamed to Jessmas for a reason. I spent 28 days celebrating. I give my sister and Danny their day (the 16th), my anniversary (the 23rd) and Jesus gets his own day too!

Many mothers say stop the clock around birthday time..."I want them to stay this age forever." Not me! Don't get me wrong, I loved holding my babies when they were infants, love playing silly games as toddlers and love the drama of the preteen years- well kinda. I look back day to day and say "well that was fun, what's next". Each day that my kids grow is a celebration...we will never be where we were and will always be moving forward. That's the amazing thing about time, you can't hold it back, you must continue forward. This is what makes time so special- you never get it back- so enjoy each moment! Never to be detoured, never to falter.

Life ISN'T about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain...!

Taylor Reese turned 10 this year. Double digits- very exciting! She even celebrated this birthday with a very special friend who was celebrating her 10th birthday too! And as she has reminded me since she was 6...only 10 more years, only 9 more year, only 8 more years..."until I get a car". Oh MY! Now, Tristan Daniel turned 4 this year on July 19th. He was very excited for his special day to come. However, he was disappointed the morning he woke up and realized it was his birthday. "But I am not bigger". Poor lil guy. His main wish right now besides avoiding a nap, is to be BIG like Dada! One day sweet Tristan Daniel...one day! In just 2 weeks give or take a few days, Teagan Rey will be THREE. Finally!! You wonder why I say finally...because in Teagan's short life, I have felt as though we have been fighting a battle for decades! With as much as this child has been though- he should be at least 15 by now. Never to be detoured, never to falter.

Life ISN'T about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain...!

Have you ever been snuggling with your little one at night and get a feeling by his warm body that he might be getting a fever...YIKES. You feel his head, you ask him if he feel ok, and you check on him hourly to see if your suspicious are right. The next morning you wake to a very hot headed little kid who indeed has a fever and maybe another symptom or two. They are sick UGGGG!!!! In just 12 short hours your child has gone from happy, pleasant, and playful to tired, whining and listless. Those hours moved quickly. You look back now and probably do not remember the last time they had a fever.

Now imagine getting that "feverish" feeling and wondering for weeks, months, a year if they will get "sick". Imagine not knowing what the next day will bring. Will they be happy and playing as usual or will they be sleepy and sick spending hours in bed trying to fight off this illness. Never to be detoured, never to falter.

Life ISN'T about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain...!

Teagan's "fever" started to show up about 18 months. Up until that time he was happy, playful....might I say "normal"! Little by little symptoms of a "sickness" appeared. He liked to play by himself...he did not have anywhere close to the 20 words of a "normal" toddler. He did not wave good bye...he did not bring me toys to show off...and he was fascinated by moving parts, such as wheels on a toy car. He did not say MOMMY!

Danny and I spent nights laying in bed saying "it can't be autism, he does this...he does not do that". We did all we could to self diagnosis. We read books, we took online test, we filled out checklist. It was exhausting....and endless. At one point, with the help of others, we had talked ourselves into the fact that this was our fault. All because he was baby number 3 he had been indeed babied. Even to this day, Teagan's nickname at the house is Baby!

A very dear friend I have had for about 20 years said to me one night "How do you know Teagan is not just a 2 year old doing normal annoying 2 year old things?"Have you ever had a little voice inside of you telling you something and as much as you want to ignore it, it seems to get louder. Well from day to day I listen to that voice yet on other days I ignore it and banished it from my head completely. A commonphrase in our house is "see, there's nothing wrong with him" yet another common phrase in our house is "see, that's not 'normal'. It is that voice that tells me Teagan is unique.

What's hard about Teagan's initial diagnosis is that "inconsistency" is the cornerstone. What he does today, might be different tomorrow. What he likes today, could be the beginning of a 30 minute meltdown tomorrow. Much of what Teagan does day to day does seem like just a 2 year old being a 2 year old. However, Teagan's way is much like a puzzle piece (ironically the Autism Spectrum icon). That single piece seems like just a shape of color standing alone. There is no explanation to it and hard to visualize how it fits into the world. But by putting a lot of puzzle pieces together we begin to see the bigger picture. That piece with other pieces tells a story- paints the bigger picture. Teagan running a toy car over the wall, seems well, typical for his age. But he also runs DVD cases against that wall, flashlights, toy beads, a hair brush....you name it. He plays with it and you can guarantee that he will place that object on the wall and drag it endlessly. This is a sensory seeking, repetitive action that defines his diagnosis. Now another mom might say my child does that too, yet the difference is this action interferences with Teagan's ability to function as a human. When doing this, he does not relate to the world around him- instead his focus is on the scraping that this object is doing on the wall. Never to be detoured, never to falter.

Life ISN'T about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain...!

All and all, after each conversation I felt the urge to scream out..."It's autism DAMN it! I know it...now let's move on" Each night I thought of the behaviors of Teagan I felt an anxiety attack raging in my heart...my chest would tighten, my back would hurt, my heart would begin to pound. I could feel my head get hot...I could feel the beginning of a cold sweat! And then I would silently pray "Dear Lord, help me, help Teagan...just show me what to do, please!!!"As always, HE came through and HE has shown me what to do. HE has taught me to stand my ground...never to back down and to be the advocate HE wanted me to be, even before I was born.

Now the age of 3 is very significant when it comes to autism. There are parents who have children who started to regress at age 3. The child is moving along, developing perfectly and then BAM regression, in which the child begins to lose all the skills and language they had acquired from that point prior- Autism is not scary, but to HELL regression IS! If I have one single fear- that's it....regression. Such an ugly word! Such a hopeless, powerless situation! REGRESSION

Age 3 is also significant because many experts will not diagnosis a child with autism until they are 3. Which is so ironic because at this time, insurance will not pay for therapy after the 3 birthday. At this point, if you can make sense of the previous statement- text me, call me, message me...because this is ridiculous. However, each day that Teagan smiles at me....says "Thank you"...ask for a "drink" I am reminded that he is growing and that his birthday like others should be embraced. Teagan continues to grow, impress, and inspire. He might be only 3 years old, but his soul is old and wise. He has taught me things that some people never learn and for that I am thankful and humbled. Back in April, I asked all my friends to turn on their blue porch light for autism awareness. And even months later that light is a guide for both Teagan and me. Never to be detoured, never to falter.

" Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." < Psalm 23:4 >

***if you are reading this and not a member of TEAM TEAGAN on facebook- please join. The page is dedicated to spreading autism awareness. With 1 in 110 children now on the autism spectrum, awareness is very important! https://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Team-Teagan/202319966481344

Three Cheers for Team Teagan!

2011-07-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

July 11, 2011

This blog has sat quietly for over a month now. Some people talk just to hear themselves talk. Some people write, just to write. However, I blog for a purpose. Today that reason is Teagan.

If you have followed my blog or are a member of Team Teagan, you know that Teagan was diagnosed with autism. A mild case, but autism nonetheless. I have been asked if I cried when I found out Teagan had autism. Actually, I did not. This diagnosis was a relief. It was proof that Danny and I are good parents and that we were up against a battle that we plan to win. The diagnosing specialist gave us renewing hope that his autism will be residual one day. Is there a chance we will struggle everyday with autism- YES! And we recognize that chance...but we hold on to hope that one day autism will fade and it will be just a story we talk about to Teagan's kids one day.

Residual Autism: individuals who had a history of having autistic disorder but presently do not meet the criteria for autistic disorder (i.e., still having some autistic features subsequent to effective interventions and/or natural development)

Months prior to Teagan's "official diagnosis"...Teagan was mistakenly diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Many children with autism do have SPD also, but this was the sole diagnosis given to Teagan. Of course, we researched and read and studied all we could about SPD. As a college professor, I have access to many many databases of scientific research material in which I could look up very in-depth articles on SPD. SPD was unique...but it was not uniquely Teagan. This disorder did not fit him. We heard "all kids are different" yet a group of kids with SPD did not look or act like Teagan.

SPD can exist without Autism and Autism without SPD, or they can overlap as co-morbid conditions.

Did I cry when I found out Teagan had SPD- yes! Why? Because after much research I realizes SPD was not my child. A diagnosis that does not fit- is scary. He is not classic SPD- the diagnosis did not fit. But expert after expert said "YEP- Teagan has SPD". Little did these experts realize that I was an expert in TEAGAN and I refused to let a misdiagnosis fail us. I knew deep down that autism was our Scarlett letter. I had numerous conversations with my own mom sitting on her couch watching the kids play games in her living room. "Mom, it's autism, I know it. Look how he does this and that...look how he does not do this or that?!" At times, prior to the official diagnosis, I felt like I was on fire yet everyone who passed said "that's not fire...it's hot, it's burning, but still not fire". Danny and I had numerous conversations late at night "It's autism, it's got to be" We filled out checklist after checklist trying to make sense of our 3rd child. With persistence, we finally got the truth- it is autism! Teagan has autism. But autism does not have Teagan.

From what I say and write, many people conclude that we think autism defines us...well hell it does- how could it not. Autism is what we live and breathe each day. It's like Cancer or Diabetes- you do not forget you have it...you spend each day living with it, dealing with it, embracing it. And we are ok with that. That is our normal. Each day we strive to make our children's life better. Every day we celebrate as a family when Teagan has a new accomplishment, when Tristan helps his brother with a new toy, when Taylor teaches Teagan a new word. Together as Team Teagan we define autism.

Why does my child have autism? Because without autism Teagan would not be Teagan...he would be Pete, or George, or Jack, but not Teagan. I think God picked Danny and I long before we were even born to have Teagan. He knew that we were a perfect fit for Teagan, he knew that Teagan was a perfect fit for us. And with this diagnosis comes purpose...my kids learn everyday that the world needs more understanding and compassionate people...more people who accept and do not judge...more people who are advocates...more people who speak up and out!

All parents have struggles. And with an autism diagnosis I do not see our struggles as greater than thou, but different. Autism is something we have embraced around the Guire household. This is our "normal"...autism is our normal. As a mother of 3, I thought potty training was a struggle...I though sleepless nights were a struggle. I soon found out that daily trips shopping, haircuts, going out to eat...those are our struggles. Melt downs are common with toddlers, melt downs with toddlers who have autism are our normal. Danny and I have learned to curb these melt downs. We do not leave home without a plan, blue dumdum suckers, and our iphone apps! Just the other day, we were trying to get through Lowes and Teagan picked up a orange cone and walked around the store with it on his head. It kept him happy, everyone who passed us smiled and giggled. Would I have let Tristan or Taylor do this when they were 2, probably for a second and then I would have made them put it back. Is Teagan being raised differently, of course. Tristan and Taylor are not being raised the same. Parenting is about adjusting your style to the child's needs...in Teagan's case he needs routine yet flexibility. Things in our life are very constant in order for Teagan to adapt to the world around him...however, when he decides to change it up- we let him and therefore he adapts to the world on his own. This is exactly our goal- for Teagan to learn to self adjust to the world without it always being adjusted for him.

I use to say "I planned to change the world, but I couldn't find a babysitter"...little did I know that with my kids I would change the world.

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are BLUE

2011-04-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today, April 2nd, 2011, in honor of World Autism Awareness Day, my house is lit- blue.

If 4 million children are born in the United States every year, approximately 36,500 children will eventually be diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Assuming the prevalence rate has been constant over the past two decades, we can estimate that about 730,000 individuals between the ages of 0 to 21 have an ASD.

A million thanks and hugs to everyone who participated in Autism Awareness Day today. Our platforms are small, but together our voice is loud and proud. Today, my facebook newsfeed and text messages have been filled with blue t-shirt wearing runners, blue porch lights, status updates about being blue, and even scentsy puzzle piece warmer pictures. It is this type of support that will bring awareness to this disorder and help to increase funding and research. Currently millions of parents like myself fight the insurance companies on a regular basis, because much of the help needed for a child with autism is just not covered.

The lifetime cost for an individual with autism is $3.2 million- $5 million.

Teagan had a good day today...secretly I think he knew it was a day for him, yet he did not lead on of his knowledge. :) It was a good day in our world, despite his spectrum based disorder- Sensory Processing Disorder. The struggle with this disorder is that it is on the autism spectrum but not considered autism- which makes education and help with this challenge- a battle. Also, the cornerstone of SPD is inconsistency...so what Teagan loves and laughs at today could send him into a major melt down tomorrow.

An autism spectrum based disorder is more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined.

There is not a lot known about SPD, but days like today bring awareness to all the spectrum based disorders. I hope that you will spend some time getting to know more about autism based disorders. The statistics are frightening...and if you are reading this you already know at least one family affected by this...and there are millions of families just like the Guire's.

1 in 110 children are now on the autism spectrum. 1 in 110.

Sadly, today, the White House is not blue, but rather dark. Although President Obama had made a proclamation today and stressed the importance of Autism funding in 2009, the White House is not changed today, despite the millions of Americans who still had to deal with autism all day long. Today was not a holiday or a day off, it was just another day in "paradise" for those affected by an autism spectrum disorder. Maybe one day (one day soon) the White House will be blue and openly support individuals who have autism spectrum disorders. President Obama did not join in...his house, our White House, is not blue. It is disheartening to know that this epidemic is not important to EVERYONE, as my child could be your child and my struggle could be yours.

In 20 years there has been more than a 600% increase in diagnosed cases of autism.

Autism is not a Tragedy. Ignorance is the tragedy.

Teagan Rey Guire
8-12-08

Are you blue?

2011-03-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

Are you blue?

Darkness is a symbol of death, mourning, and illness. A dark establishment is uninviting, vacant, and cold. Even now, we use light in our homes to represent life, living, and warmth. We use fire to light, warm, and comfort. We use candles to add light, warmth, and comfort, as well. The use of light means security.

For those who have disabilities on the autism spectrum- darkness is very common. Schools for decades have hidden these children, hospitals have placed them as outcast, people have bullied these special individuals. Our society for centuries has pushed away those who are not the "norm". Darkness is common...darkness for these individuals is the norm. There is no open door, no light on for individuals on the autism spectrum, based on our society's view. And you and I have created this darkness. My son, Teagan, walks through that darkness daily although his face could light up a moonless midnight sky. Finding "houses" with the light on...is few and far between.

So I ask you my dear friends...will you turn your light on for Teagan and millions of others just like him? Or will he encounter your "house"...with fear and darkness?

For centuries, individuals with disabilities, including but not limited to autism spend their entire life on Earth in a dark place. This darkness is in rejection and lack of acceptance due to ignorance. It is our very society that leads individuals to isolation and pain. Every day there is a reminder that "you do not fit in". However, everyday, parents like myself look for "houses" that are compassionate and willing to help. My lil Teagan will not grow up in darkness...his life is too bright for a light to be turned off because of a diagnosis. Of course, our lives together will be filled with pain, heartache and suffering, but not darkness. It is the simple symbol of light that will brighten our day- and that light is hope!

It is the light of hope that I am asking you to shine. You can show the world that you support Teagan in his quest to live life to the fullest with every opportunity that this life can offer him. On April 2nd, 2011, in honor of World Autism Awareness Day, my house will be lit- blue. My porch will shine with the brilliance of blue lights- letting the world know that we are hope, we have light in our home. You can join me with a simple act of placing blue lights in your porch lights for 1 night- April 2nd.

"By taking part in this campaign, you will bring hope and encouragement to countless individuals on the autism spectrum and their loved ones. Stand with the autism community, and let your commitment to our cause shine bright."

So I ask you again my dear friends...will you turn your light on for Teagan and millions of others just like him? Or will he encounter your "house"...with fear and darkness?

A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on...

2011-03-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

There are many instances in my life in which having a remote control to fast forward, rewind or mute- would come in handy. Actually, I could use the mute button many times a day...ok, maybe a million times a day- on myself. Sometimes I wish for a pause button...days when the weather is perfect, during a pedi, while getting a good night's sleep, days when all 3 kids are happy, and times when playing outside does not seem to last long enough. There are other days in which a volume button at my house would be a blessing- once again, the volume button would be great at all times at the Guire Casa.

Have you ever wished you could turn back time...by a day, a year, maybe just a second? Wished you had not hurt someone's feelings with the wrong words or the wrong actions. Wished you had not made a particular decision or maybe wished you had. Wished you had thought more on a choice or not considered the choice as an option at all. Wished that faith and destiny were more controllable and less frightening.

I do not have very many regrets, and actually none that I can actually control. I regret that my grandmothers and grandfather had not lived longer and wish they could have met my kids. Wish my living grandfather was not 1000's miles of way. Oh, how much my kids would have benefitted from knowing these amazing people. I regret that my cousin has seen so much sorrow in her life yet she still has a heart of gold. I regret that my friend's mother died of cancer and suffered the last months of her life; she was a big influence in my young life and such a loving person. I regret that a new friend struggles daily with the death of her child. In so many instances, turning back time would be, well just awesome. But is it living if we are living with regrets...wishing for one more day, wishing it had been different. No!

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... it is about learning to dance in the rain."

However, all the events in my life to this point have shaped me into who I am and who I will still become. It's the friends I have made, the relationships that have ended and the sun continuing to rise each morning that makes life---well life! We are shaped by our actions and the changes due to the events we experience daily. These events mold us into who we are day to day. I live with no regrets as I am who I am and live my life accordingly. As a true friend once said about me..."you either LOVE Jessica or you HATE Jessica- there is no half way". I like to think that you either appreciate me for who I am or you cannot handle me and should move on.

“A good memory is one that can remember the day's blessings and forget the day's troubles”

A very special little 2 year old in my life has taught me about being thankful and living without regrets. Although he cannot say the word, nor can he explain it...he defines LIFE every day. I am thankful for his sensory processing disorder. Strange to be thankful for such?! Not for me. This single diagnosis has shaped me into being a better mother, a better person. Teagan's diagnosis was a blessing...but one I was not willing to embrace at the time. To hear that your child is not considered "normal" is heartbreaking...to know he is struggling and you do not understand the struggle is breath taking. We are redefining "normal" over here at the Guire Casa. He has taught me compassion, acceptance, and patience. I often asked why...why did I get chosen to have a child with a special need. Then I realized it was not a choice...it was a blessing. No one else could love Teagan as much as I do. No one else could fight as hard as I do for Teagan. No one else gets the honor to say they are Teagan's mommy...and for that I am humbled and grateful- Grateful that God picked me to be Teagan's mommy!

We are all a work in progress, in God's eyes. And every day I work on myself. It is Teagan who is my teacher- and very good at his job. Who knew that a 2 year old could teach me so many life lessons? I learned more from him in 2 years then in my 9 years of college- I think I need to get my money back on that one. Teagan is a gift from God and one that God gave me to shape me and mold me every day. Teagan and I were put together for a very special reason and for that I am thankful. I am not sure what I would do if my kids were all "normal"...how boring...how easy life could be. And for that I am thankful! Every day it is the small joys in his life that make my life so meaningful. Of course, my other two kids equally make my life meaningful. I have 3 kids and I love them...love them differently, as only mommies can understand. I love them with the love that they need individually. After having Taylor- 10 years ago, I could not imagine how I could love another as much as I love her...but I do and although I cannot understand the deep love I have for them...for that I am thankful. We do not have to understand to love, we just have to trust. And I trust that God knew and knows EXACTLY what he is doing in my life. My love is multiplied between my 3 kids, not divided. Teagan's diagnosis has brought Danny and I closer too. He is an amazing dad and an amazing model for Teagan (and Tristan and Taylor). Having a best friend in your life who shares the joys of parenthood is so fulfilling. And getting to share the achievements of Teagan with someone who equally loves him is wonderful. When no one else understands our excitement or sorrow...we can relate to the emotions of the other- as they are equally felt. Who would have thought that on a faithful night in October at the indoor soccer complex, Danny would joking try to kick me in the head...

"All because two people fell in love"

There are many moms out there that may pity other people for having a child with any sort of special needs but honestly, at times, I pity people that don’t get to experience this! You never know the true joy of a childhood milestone until your child does not meet it. You never know the joy of hearing your child call you "mommy" until he doesn't. You never know the joy of motherhood until it is a challenge. I get this blessing every day. I wake each day with a new challenge in Teagan's life and with renewed hope that today will be the day that he has a new accomplishment.

“Prayers go up and blessings come down”

I planned to save the world; but I couldn't find a sitter.

2011-03-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

As they say about Pres. Bush- Do you miss me, yet? Long time no see, hu? So, what have I been up to? The usual! However, this blog was collecting dust and I have a lot on my mind- so it was time to write. In between my job responsibilities, getting snacks for the kids, loads of laundry, and enjoying my family I find the time to release and just WRITE. Currently, my daily thoughts are with my dear sweet Teagan Rey Guire. He is my youngest baby- 2 years old. And I love him, as I do Taylor and Tristan, with the depths of my soul. He completes me and make me a better person then I could ever imagine. One look at his sweet face and I am reminded that God is good and there is pure joy in our world. No matter the outcome each day is a gift, spent with Teagan.

I use my blog for a personal outlet: I blog so that my thoughts are clear. I blog so that I can think. I blog so I can imagine. I blog so I can dream, live, and laugh. I blog today because I love Teagan!

The topic of this blog is very sensitive and many of you have heard this story...but no one has heard it like this. This blog is in the form of a letter, as I am part of a grassroots letter writing campaign to change the world- or at least the world through the eyes of children like Teagan Rey Guire!

Dear Oprah Winfrey,

The Oprah Show episode that aired in February of 2011, about Zach, "The 7-Year-Old Who Tried to Kill His Mother" was riveting. Not only do I feel sympathy and sorrow for a mother and child in this situation, but I feel compelled to write to you, based on 1 single thing that was mentioned in your show. Zach's mom, Laurie stated "Sensory integration disorder was Zach’s first diagnosis and that has to do with how Zach perceived his world."On this particular show, the issue with Zach clearly is mental illness, and the initial diagnosis mentioned by your show "sensory integration disorder " also known as SPD: Sensory Processing Disorder was not clearly explained. This is very troubling to my family and many other families dealing with SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder).

Sensory Integration Disorder (SPD:Sensory Processing Disorder)was not explained in depth on the show, nor was Zach’s mental health diagnoses, for that matter. This left the impression that children with a diagnosis of SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder) may be inclined to rage attacks that could lead to attempts to kill or harm others. I am frustrated and puzzled by this- as it is not true! There is a clear misunderstanding about what Sensory Processing Disorder/Sensory Integration Disorder is and this constitutes a great opportunity for you to highlight this disorder on your show. I have watched your show for decades and have never seen a show on SPD. There is no time like the present! Parents need to understand SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder) and families dealing with SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder) need support!

I am a mother of 3 beautiful children and our youngest Teagan, who is 2 years old, was recently diagnosed with SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder). The diagnosis was heart breaking, taking the breath from me, and causing my husband and I great anxiety. This diagnosis has sent us on a trip...a journey...a path. One like no other. My trip with Teagan is filled with tears, failed strength to make a difference, and days when staying in bed and avoiding the world seems like a great idea. But our life with Teagan is also filled with love, joy, and laughter- daily. Our two year old Teagan is healthy, happy, and appears normal in every aspect- except he does not communicate verbally as a "normal" two year should. He has never had high fevers or ear infections. His mouth and tongue work normally. Hearing and vision test results were also "normal". Yet every day he relies on us, his parents to determine his every need. He does not tell us when he is hungry, thirst, tired, happy, sad, or simply overwhelmed. SPD is a devastating and unrecognized disorder that has now become our life. We still dream of a the day when Teagan wakes up in the morning and can simply say "I would like milk and a poptart, Mommy".

As with any illness or disorder, the importance of getting accurate factual information about Sensory Integration Disorder (SPD) is imperative. Information is the life line to my child and many others developing and communicating. Their success in life is dependent upon this. Teagan many times is thought of by others as being autistic, yet there has been no such medical diagnosis; most children (~90%) with Autism Spectrum Disorders have sensory issues (Tomchek and Dunn, 2007). But, most children with SPD do NOT have Autism! With autism there is support and awareness. With SPD, I find myself explaining this disorder over and over again and realizing everyday that we are alone in our struggles. Sure there are others, but finding them is truly a task in itself. I have found parents who have autistic child with SPD, but their struggle is not my struggle and mine is not theirs. I have found parents with child who are ADD or ADHD, but again their struggle is not my struggle and mine is not theirs. Awareness of SPD is imperative. SPD is generally not accepted as a diagnosis by insurance companies- so the burden of help in terms of speech therapy and occupational therapy falls solely to the parent's own pocket book. What's heart breaking is that Teagan is priceless, but help for him is not.

I am Teagan's advocate and daily fight for his survival in this world of senses. Although there are obvious verbal delays, Teagan has indicated nonverbally how intelligent he is despite his diagnosis. About a third of the children who are gifted have SPD. Teagan is also funny and very loving but SPD keeps him from verbalizing this to the very ones who love and understand him. Children with SPD without other disorders have normal cognitive abilities, normal mental health and can engage with others (as long as the environment is conducive e.g., not too noisy or busy or overwhelming). We struggle daily with making the environment "just right" for Teagan. His world cannot be "too loud", "too quiet", "too soft", "too hard"...it is the happy medium that we search for daily! SPD is physiological, not parental, not psychiatric, not purposefully bad behavior. Teagan's interpretation of his world is much different than yours and mine, but he is not alone. Research has found that between 5% and 16% (1 in 20 to 1 in 6)of children have SPD (Ahn, Miller et al 2000 ; and Ben-Sasson, Carter et al, 2009). Teagan is also a chameleon, day to day he can seem like a different child, based on the environment. Children with SPD are very sensitive to external factors such as the way an environment looks or sounds or smells. They appear very different in different settings. My husband and I are in an intense guessing gaming to determine how Teagan will act in different places. Will he melt down at school, will he feel anxiety at Disney World, will he enjoy music class? However, there is no consistency. In fact inconsistency is the corner stone of this disorder. The same place, the same time, the same environmental factors could make him melt down one day...but act perfectly "normal" the next. Inconsistency is our normal. We are redefining "normal"!

I am sure there are thousands of child just like Teagan, with parents just like my husband and I who are searching for factual information and support for SPD. This journey with Teagan started with a single step towards helping him and continues with the hope that even a small accomplishment by Teagan is hope for a new day and more joy in our lives. I urge you to use your show as a platform, as you have for many years and help children like Teagan who are living in a world that simply does not understand them. SPD is a devastating and unrecognized disorder that has now become our life.

With Warm Regards,

Jessica Guire

As this mother always says: "If you don't have anything nice to say...come sit next to me."

2011-01-26T08:33:00.001-08:00

I am the queen of controversy...SHOCKER, right! It is not that I set out to be controversial. I know some of you are balking at that statement. But it's the truth, I tell ya. I do not sit in bed at night wondering, what can I say or do that will make everyone shake their heads. Those who really know me, know that I honestly do not have time for extra thoughts like that. My words are best described as unfiltered....which is how I like it.

A recent controversy started with an innocent Facebook status update about my kids not sleeping through the night. I mean, for the love of Pete, I was just bitchin that I needed a good night's sleep without my rug rats sticking their face in my face at 2 in the morning. Before I could even realize what was going on, kids were being locked in their rooms, kid cages were being offered up, mouths were closed with duct tape and houses were catching on fire. Looking back it might have been the Rapture or the Apocalypse. And if that was not dramatic enough, I was defriending folks, getting defriended, and getting called a Liberal!! A liberal...well, obviously, that particular person should never have been on my wall in the first place. Delete Delete Delete.

A liberal, really?!? I use to vote democratic. My family is originally from THE Ohio State, where you vote the party not the person. One of my grandfathers has been a straight shooting democrat for decades...well that was of course before Obama came into the picture. My 89 year old grandpa said he would rather see Hilary Clinton in office than Obama. Wow, now that just forwarded the women's rights movement by 3 steps. Years ago, I voted for the inventor of the internet and am thankful for global warming when it is 89 degrees on Thanksgiving Day. Now, Gore did not get my vote solely on the fact that he was democratic. My freshman year in college, I saw republicans as the snobby, suit wearing jerks who sat next to me in PreLaw class. Years later I realized that that snobby suit wearing jerk would have been a jerk no matter his party affiliation- so I couldn't blame the republicans on this one. And I am sure his broken nose healed nicely just in time for his law school debut.

Maybe that is the problem...Facebook . Yes, Obama definitely got elected because of Facebook . How's that liberal for ya? Facebook has become the root of all problems long before Obama though. Now this is quite ironic considering my news feed is filled with status updates of jelly beans exiting out of bung holes, puppies and rainbows having relations during husband week, or sister week, all while people are morphing into cartoon characters from their oh so pleasant childhood. When I first logged into Facebook , it was because MySpace had become so juvenile. I was so sick of Hello Kitty backgrounds and duck lip pictures. Now if you have been following my blog you will remember that I mentioned my life is filled with ironic twist...case in point. The first two people that tried to friend me on Facebook had Hello Kitty as a profile picture and the other....well you get the point. One glance through the Facebook profile pictures and I was wondering why everyone was posting pictures from 1990. Then I realized they weren't pictures from 1990, they were current pictures of people trying to act as though they were still in 1990 (I thought that is what class reunions are for). Coupled with this were status updates about how brilliant and amazing their life was. One look at their profiles and I realized the only thing brilliant and amazing was the credit card company that got their business. Sheesh- I was in the wrong business! Facebook was a place to become what you were not....but no one could call you on it...because you had moved to Oregon years before to birth your first child out of sight from the media frenzy. Unfair- boo hiss! One very EXTREME example was a friend I had years ago...married with kids, the perfect house, the country club membership, the loaded suburban, trips to faraway lands....but credit card debt that was the equivalent of the national debt. I am talking trips to Cabo- on the Discover...nights out at the casino- on the Visa...gift giving for no reason at all- on the Mastercard. She single handedly could have gotten the economy back on track! At one time her house payment was being made with cash, which was being withdrawn from a credit card. Lord have Mercy- do you people understand the extent of paying a loan, with interest, with a credit card that applies interest. I am no math whiz here- remember I am not a numbers kind of gal...but that is compounded interest out the Ying-YANG. However, her Facebook status was nothing short of the Life of the Rich and Famous, while she was actually a broke ass desperate house wife!

I decided early on that my mission on Facebook was to be as open and honest as possible. That is how I run my life, so why should my Facebook life be any different. I was obviously up for a challenge since I was updating about getting pooped on, gaining weight, and hating my hair...while my counterparts were talking about how amazing their 13 year old was and how all they need to have a good day is dinner at home with their in laws. This is also about the time I figured out the hide button. I was not quite to the point of deleting them just in case they woke up with Alopecia...I did not want to miss that update! Before too long I realized that just because we shared air in middle school does not mean we were meant to be friends later in life....on Facebook none the less. I only have 3 friends who I met through Facebook . All came with good references and I know where their references live so I have all bases covered. Everyone else, I have personally known somehow in my "real" life, the one that exist outside of Facebook land.

Throughout my years on Facebook , I have defriended and been defriended. Only a few who I have defriended probably even noticed and those who defriended me...I probably noticed or not. On national defriend day in November, I realized that having 400 Facebook friends was ridiculous. So, I cut those who were inactive, those who think Facebook was invented for them, and those who...well, those who are not entertaining or inspiring. I figured though that if you are on Facebook long enough, eventually no one will have friends...with timing and just the right comment, everyone could get defriended. I would think this would be the end of the world- and the Mayans have nothing to do with Facebook- wierd!

I see Facebook as a remote island...and each person has their own tribe on that island. You can be part of multiple tribes, and the head of your own tribe. You can decide to leave tribes and other times you are required to leave a tribe. Your tribe life can be as wonderful as you want it to be...or as honest as it comes. Your tribe members will decide how much bullshit they will tolerate. And when it comes to my tribe, the door is unlocked and you are free to leave if you can't handle the heat. But just remember my status update might be something you were thinking but not willing to say aloud.

Operator! Give me the number for 911

2011-01-24T12:32:00.000-08:00

I have never had a lucky number. When I was younger, I thought double zero would be a cool lucky number, but my friend's mother was always our coach and so she always got first pick. I thought it was kinda unfair but that friend could have beat me up anyway- so I never pressed the issue. When I got into high school, I started off with a number in one sport but I could never claim it in the next sport. The coaches did not seem to put much care into what number you had on your back. In basketball we were forced to pick a double digit so the number was like 34 or 52. I just could not identify with those numbers...I was looking more for a 4 or 8 or even 9- not sure why but I liked the single digit idea for some strange reason. When I started playing competitive soccer, I decided that I would pick the number of a famous soccer player (maybe channel Mia Hamm), however, I did not play the same position as that star so I felt a disconnect and eventually dropped the number obsession. Again...I was having number identify issues. In college, I tried to pick a number that I could stick with but the upperclassman got to pick first and by the time it got to me...I had slim pickings. I don't even remember my college number, but I also don't know my husband's cell phone number without looking it up on my iPhone. Maybe I am just not a numbers kinda gal?!? This worked out in college, though, because I knew I needed a major that only required 1 math...this made picking an undergraduate major mighty easy.

I noticed that Taylor Swift has a lucky number, sharpie-d on her hand in bright blue-- number 13. I do not remember 13 ever being lucky. I know someone with a birthday on the 13th and occasionally it lands on Friday the 13th...spooky! I am not a Taylor Swift fan, but my oldest kid(ironically named Taylor) is, was, still might be depending on her mood. I think it started with the name sake, maybe the curly hair, then a few good songs, and then the fact that she was dating Taylor Lautner...needless to say we ended up at a Taylor Swift concert a few years ago and I actually was not completely bored mostly because I tried to see if her number 13 would sweat off by the end of the concert. I don't remember much from that concert- and there was no alcohol involved.

I thought I had some luck when I found out my due date for my first born was March 17th- St. Patty's Day. I have Irish heritage...hence the name Cahill and the name Guire...so this coincidence seems reasonable. However, during the pregnancy the date keep being pushed up until finally the due date was March 8th...Taylor was born March 6th at 1:21pm. Nothing significant about the numbers but the stars were aligned that day because she was healthy!

Fast forward several years, in the delivery room waiting on Tristan's birth.

Now let me just put it out there, if you are looking for a horrible pregnancy and delivery story- you are at the wrong place. You see, I was not in labor for 26 hours, 14 hours, 10 hours or even 5 hours-- with any of my babies. My 9 months was completely without incidence. Delivery and recover went smoothly...I even drank a Corona in the delivery room just hours after giving birth. It was a gift from my OBGYN. He knows me TOO well!

Back to the delivery room with Tristan...he is one push from meeting the world when I happen to noticed the clock on the wall...it occurs to me that he is going to be born exactly 3 minutes before Taylor was born, making his birthday time 1:18pm. As with every passing thought, nothing is safe in my head, I blurt this fact aloud to the OBGYN and nursing staff...my OB calming replies "wanna wait?". So for 3 minutes we waited...talked about the weather, talked sports. yada yada yada! For all the mommies out there 3 minutes is a long damn time to wait. Anyone who says "you can do anything for 3 minutes", has not had a baby. At 1:21pm on July 19th, Tristan was born. Now this number was a bit more significant since it was now matchy matchy to Taylor's birth time...very cool sibling story. And again the stars were aligned that day because he was healthy and matched his sisters timing!

Now , fast forward just 12 months and 3 weeks later...the delivery room with Teagan. For those of you trying to figure it all out let me make it easy for you- Tristan was about 12 weeks old when we learned that Guire baby #3 was on the way. What was I thinking, right?? I think I had way too many Corona during those 12 weeks! Prior to the lead up to the delivery room, I had challenged my OB (same one as before) to deliver baby number 3 at 1:21pm. He was up for the challenge.

Being uncooperative as he is, Teagan decided he was ready at noon! Damn it! However, with a great story to tell the grandkids on the line, my pitocin was reduced and we waited. ...now if you thought 3 minutes was long...try waiting 1 hour and 21 minutes to push one time! On August 12 at 1:21pm Teagan was born... And once again the stars were aligned that day because he was healthy and matched his sister's AND his brother's timing!

I finally have a number for my jersey that has meaning...my kickball number is 121! And also I have a great story for my kids to share between them and with others for years to come. So after all these years, I found my lucky number partly by accident...but then again does anything in life really just accidently happen- not when it is in the form of gifts from God.

A cotton whore by any other name...

2011-01-22T11:03:00.000-08:00

My parents were runners in their early 40s when they opted to give up junk food and smoking for extra servings of carbs and new Nikes. As a kid- I was less than thrilled. I barely weighted 50 pounds, had knobby knees and elbows to match, but I could eat my weight in donuts! The idea of not having cookies in the house, made me just mad. So one faithful day I decided that I would show them. Along with my cousin we decided to pull our money together and walk from my house to the closest store (approximately 1 mile one way) and buy a pack of cookies!!! We headed off in the middle of the afternoon (these were the days of just going outside to play in the day without having to check in). We were so excited to get the cookies and then start back home...walking and eating cookies. We ate the entire pack between us! It never occurred to me that I just walked 2 miles for a pack of cookies...I was just a mile short of the 5K my parents were planning to run that Saturday!

Together my mom and dad completed 5Ks, 10Ks, Half and Full marathons. At the time, I had no desire to run. I didn't even run at recess...tetherball was my game of choice. I thought my parents were crazy and uncool! My parents...The runners- now that has a ring to it, eh! Although most people thought it was a mighty big accomplishment, I looked at it as another Saturday morning that I would be standing at a finish line waiting for them to cross so I could join them in a free banana and donut breakfast. I would have much rather been in bed nursing a hangover!

Of course, I have always been an athlete. Both in high school and college, I played a variety of sports. One of these sports was responsible for paying for some of my college. But let me tell you it was not RUNNING. I actually did not play soccer my junior year in high school because the soccer coach was replaced by the cross country coach and I refused to run that much AT SOCCER PRACTICE without a ball! So I spent my days in off season track. My life seems to have taken some real ironic turns- reminding me that God has a sense of humor and likes to apply it to my life, often!

Once I got out of college, I realized that running was an EASY sport. Ok, ok, all you runners do not get your sports bra heart monitor in a knot... I don't think running a 5K is easy by any means...just ask me after running a 5K in June on a Saturday proceeding a Friday night at Gerald's Martini Bar. But it is simple in terms of all you need is a desire and a pair of running shoes. No other sport is that easy to prepare for....you can just lace up your running shoes and GO GO GO. Or in my case go, go! I didn't have to join a fitness club, I didn't have to buy special equipment- I just have to ignore sanitation workers cat calls and drivers with a Vendetta against fitness!

I started running every 5K locally that I could sign up for- since my parents were paying and driving- why not....(can't pass up a free fly and buy).I would run with my mom and talk and enjoy the sights of that particular East Texas town (my dad is an incredibly fast runner who use to finish the race and then run back to meet my mom and me and finish it with us). My mom had a steady easy pace...and was running more for the benefits than a medal. Sometimes my mom would get a lil competitive and aim to beat someone in the race, but usually it was the 80 year old or someone missing a limb....how could I argue- the woman had goals! It was not until one poorly put together race, that I actually won my age division by default. I was then HOOKED. I mean come on...where else could I pay $15, get to run with others on a designed course, get a cool t-shirt and free breakfast after! And then on top of that there was a chance to place and get a medal. In college I had actually placed in a sorority Fundraiser Run, but I left early and never got my medal- reason #400,456 to hate sorority girls! As stupid as this sounds...there is just something about getting a medal...it is like an Olympic ceremony, bowing my head for the director to place my medal on my neck. In my mind I hear the national anthem playing and the crowd cheering for me!

Now as I have gotten older, the idea of the medal is less appealing simply because at my house they become weapons of mass destruction as my toddlers use them as nunchucks! However, the idea of a t-shirt has been an overriding factor in my decision to run so many 5Ks. I have a time goal that is mine personally, but I feel like if I place that is just extra fries in my happy meal...since I already get a shirt!

Last year I ran about 10 5Ks...placed in some, but have t-shirts for ALL! Win WIN for Team Guire! This year again I have signed up for 4 so far with plans to register for others too. Some try to convince me to run farther...like a 10K. I did ONE single 10K in my life and I almost died in a pile of Azaleas....too close to a bed of roses...and I would much rather die drinking a vodka and sprite while sitting on the deck smoking a cigarette.

I see 5Ks as a challenge...a challenge to get out of bed in the morning and workout...and a challenge to sign up, run, and live to talk about it.

The difference between a jogger and a runner is an entry form!

A stay at home, working mommy

2011-01-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

Experts say that kids in day care have higher levels of aggression, anxiety and stress. Wow...I wonder if these experts ever spend time with a stay at home mommy. This is an open invitation to have coffee at my house- is 3am good for you. It is an urban myth, or maybe more like a suburban myth, that stay at home mommies and their kids have it made. What is not to love...you set your own schedule (between the times of midnight and 11:59pm), there is no time card to punch (you are ALWAYS on the clock), your lunch is cheap and filled with lots of conversation (Pb& J and baby sign, anyone). I am here to say while holding one child and dodging a nerf ball coming towards my head, that stay at home moms have a tough job....I really hand it to the stay at home moms with young kids who are not school age- as I feel your pain, eh, I mean joy!

I have yet to find a study on stay at home working mommies. Maybe I am the next guinea pig. I am a rare breed. I work from home and stay home with 2 of my 3 kids who are not school age. Never in a million years did I think that I could be both a working mommy and a stay at home mommy. Obviously I like a challenge.

I didn't just stumble upon this faith, I actually made it happen...and surprisingly enough on purpose. I always wanted to stay home with my kids, even before I became a mommy 10 years ago. However, upon staying home with my first born, I realized I still loved the working world that I could now only see now from a distance through the bright yellow nursery where I rocked my baby to sleep each night. I traded in my heels and pencil skirt for running shoes and sweatpants. I enjoyed being home with my first born. We had play dates, gymnastic class, shopping trips, library days....life was good. But I often found myself reading the want ads as she napped. I was torn...and there was not a person in my world at that time that understood. My mom had stayed home until my sister and I were school age...her mom had done the same. The other play date moms loved staying home, not having to get dressed for work, trading in business lunches for picnics in the park...and I too enjoy this, but yerned for some deadlines, a boss micromanaging me from time to time, and the annoying coworker who had a new story about her live in boyfriend who ate cheetoes in his underwear while playing video games in a beanbag chair- (true story)

I decided to go back to school while my first born was young. I already had a BA and MA so I was not a virgin to higher education. I enrolled in an online university to work on my doctoral degree. Mind you this was before online learning was cool- it was a expensive leap of faith. Fast forward a few years later, when upon graduation, I realize Dr. Mom would now have to get a job full time outside of the house. During my doctoral studies I had worked at a few colleges teaching but nothing permanent or full time.

I realized that soon I would want to add more feet to my family and did not want my doctoral studies to collect dust. I had completed my entire doctoral degree online (with yearly residences), so I thought, why can't I be an online professor?? I know what it is like from the other side as a student, and from where I was sitting online teaching looked like CAKE...carrot cake to be exact. I started applying for online jobs and actually got a position teaching online within a month...now fast forward again several years later, and I now have several universities who call on me to teach classes in the area of Business, English, and Communication- both graduate and undergraduate. The perfectly imperfect job...stay at home in my pjs and teach.

I now stay home full time...and work...both as a mommy and a professor.

This means that during the day I am SUPER mom, and then at night I share my cape with my husband who is SUPER dad, while I try to fit a 8 hour work day into 4-6 hours. Needless to say- this is impossible, so I usually try to squeeze in an hour or two during the early morning or late night. Sometimes I get brave (or maybe have bouts of insanity) and I try to fit a little work in while the boys are watching Toy Story and eating a snack. Nothing impresses colleagues more than when in the middle of a conference call, my 3 year old comes running in the room and yells-" Brother HAS poopie!!!" Epic Failure!! My secret is unveiled- My day is ruled by shaggy haired boys who fart and announce it!

So the age long debate continues ---stay at home mom vs working mom. I guess on this single issue I ride the fence as I see that the grass is greener on both sides- but both sides have to be mowed!