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Windows Error Jokes, Silly Windows Error Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:24:00 +0000

Windows 98 Error Codes Reference

Recently the following undocumented Windows 98 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet:

WinErr: 001
Windows loaded - System in danger

WinErr: 002
No Error - Yet

WinErr: 003
Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file

WinErr: 004
Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong

WinErr: 005
Multitasking attempted - System confused

WinErr: 006
Malicious error - Desqview found on drive

WinErr: 007
System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware

WinErr: 008
Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments

WinErr: 009
Horrible bug encountered - God only knows what has happened

WinErr: 00A
Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full

WinErr: 00B
Inadequate disk space - Free at least 500MB

WinErr: 00C
Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!

WinErr: 00D
Window closed - Do not look outside

WinErr: 00E
Window open - Do not look inside

WinErr: 00F
Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened

WinErr: 010
Reserved for future mistakes by our developers

WinErr: 013
Unexpected error - Huh ?

WinErr: 014
Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.

WinErr: 018
Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows license is not valid anymore.

WinErr: 019
User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!

WinErr: 01A
Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software... Yet again.

WinErr: 01B
Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.

WinErr: 01C
Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.

WinErr: 01D
System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.

WinErr: 01E
Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

WinErr: 01F
Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.

WinErr: 020
Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.

WinErr: 042
Virus error - A virus has been activated in a DOS session. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.

WinErr: 079
Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.

WinErr: 103
Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.

WinErr: 678
This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

WinErr: 683
Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.

WinErr: 815
Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 bytes available.

WinErr: 844
Competing Product - Remove all competing products and install Microsoft equivalents.

WinErr: 910
Personal Data Communicate Difficulties - Could not transmit social insurance number and or tax details back to Microsoft headquarters for further analysis.

WinErr: 960
Minimal Effort - User has only reinstalled Internet Explorer four times while trying to get it operational, please reinstall again.

WinErr: 2000
You have not downloaded your daily Y2K and security glitch patch.

Dirty jokes3

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:37:00 +0000

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldnï¿½t because she didnï¿½t have any clothes on. He replies, ï¿½Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!ï¿½

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "Iï¿½m sorry, I think he's too far in."

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

Clinton dies and of course goes straight to hell. When he gets there the Devil greets him and offers him three ways to spend eternity. They go to the first door and the Devil shows him Newt Gingrich, hanging from the ceiling with fire under him. Bill says "Oh no! Thatï¿½s not how I want to spend all eternity......." They go to the second door. The Devil shows him Rush Limbaugh chained to the wall being tortured. Bill says "Oh no! Not for me!"

They go to the third door. Behind it is Ken Starr, chained to the wall with Monica Lewinsky on her knees giving him a blowjob. Bill thinks and decides, "Hmmm, looks okay to me. Iï¿½ll take it." The Devil then says, "Good. Hey Monica, youï¿½ve been replaced."

This little girl walks over to her grandmother and asks "Granny, can you show me a magic trick?" "No dear, but I think your grand father knows one." So the little girl walks over to her grandpa and asks "Grandpa, granny says you know some magic tricks, could you show me one?" The grand father looks at her, "Sure, just hop on my lap!" So the little girl jumps on his lap. "Now, can you feel a finger poking up your ass?" asks the grandpa, "Yeah" replies the girl "Well look, no hands!"

One day this girl goes to her father, "Dad, I really want to see that movie that just came out, can I please go watch it." The dad replies, "Only if you suck my dick." the girl refuses but says, "please dad, I really really really want to go to the movies." The dad says again, "Only if you suck my dick, then Ill take you." Eventually the girl gives in and sucks his chop. As soon as she does, she leaps back and goes "Eewwww, it tastes like shit!", so the dad says, "Yeah, your brother wanted to go to the movies too."

A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?" His dad said, "Condoms son." The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March...."

A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The dwarf stares and says "Youï¿½re the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies " Iï¿½m 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown.ï¿½ The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said Iï¿½m 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown.ï¿½ The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. ï¿½For a minute there, I thought you said ï¿½Turn Aroundï¿½.ï¿½

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."

3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"

4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"

7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says "What's up with your neighbors?" and the owner of the house says "Oh thatï¿½s the Robinsonï¿½s, they're both deaf. She's telling him to go milk the cow and he's telling her to go fuck herself!"

One day a girl decided to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited. When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. "Come over here baby." she says smiling. The boyfriend backs off, "If your pussy can do that to your panties - I ain't going any where near it!"

One day this girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, "My boyfriend bought me flowers for Valentines day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.", and her friend replied, "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?

It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the notes?", to his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.

The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion. "if neither of you objects," the medic said, "I could give it a try."

Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrust continued for several long minutes. "Hey, What the hell is happening?"

"Change of plans," The physician panted. " I'm going to drown the little bastard!."

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?" Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!" The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes the spaghetti away. Mary looks over at Gary, and shaking her head, she whispers, "What a hypocrite you are. You spent most of last night with your face full of hair." Gary says, "Yeah? Well, how long do you think I'd have stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there?"

Comments Welcome!!!

dirty jokes2

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:33:00 +0000

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.

When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.

The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."

"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"

The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."

"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."

A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. 'What are you doing here?' the captain asked. She got up off the ground and explained, "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors. He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me."

The captain looked at her, "He sure is lady, this is the Staten Island Ferry.'

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"

The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"

The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys."

She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".

"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.

"What's that mean?"

"It means they cut the skin off the end."

"How old were you when it was cut off?"

"My mom said I was two days old."

"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.

"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her to push. She does and the baby's head pops out. The doctor says, "Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes." To which she replies "Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty good, so I decided to give them a try.ï¿½

The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the baby's body comes out. "Holy Shit, your baby has a white body," the doctor says. "Yeah I heard them white men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.

The doctor shrugs it off again and tells her to push again and that will be it. So she does and the legs come out. "Holy Shit! Your baby has black legs," the doctor said. "Yeah I heard them black men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.

So the doctor shrugs it off again and ties the umbilical cord and slaps the baby on the ass, it starts to cry. The doctor turns to the woman and asks, "How are you going to deal with a baby who has slanted eyes, white body, and black legs?" The woman replies "I'm just glad it didn't bark!"

Best Dirty Joke 1

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:30:00 +0000

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised. He then asks, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised. After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex. The guy said, ï¿½Once a year!ï¿½ To John's dismay, he responds, ï¿½Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?ï¿½ The grinning guy responds, "Tonightï¿½s the night!"

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies, "Thatï¿½s a good piece of fir." "Correct,ï¿½ says the manager, ï¿½now try this one." "Thatï¿½s a bad piece of willow," says the blind man. "Correct," answers the manager.

With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. "I'm confused,ï¿½ says the blind man, ï¿½Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind man says, "Oh, youï¿½re trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. Itï¿½s the shit house door off a tuna boat!"

Untitled

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:46:00 +0000

YOU are very cute becos in my dictionary Cute means...
YOU are very cute becos in my dictionary Cute means...
C - Causing
U - Un-necessary
T - Trouble
E - Everywhere

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya tarif karu...
Dost me aap jaisa...
Nalayak koi nahi!

A *smile* is a sign of joy,
A *smile* is a sign of joy,
A *hug* is a sign of love,
A *laugh* is a sign of happiness,
A *Friend* like me is a sign of
"YOUR DAMN GOOD CHOICE"

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...
Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana...
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai...

This is not fair!
This is not fair!
How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you!
Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?
ANIMAL PLANET!

Taza Hawa ka Jhoka Aaya...
Taza Hawa ka Jhoka Aaya...
Khushbu teri sath laya...
Phir mere dil me khayal aaya...
Ke Lagta hai ki...
Aaj bhi TU...
Nahin
'NAHAYA'.....

Hello DEAR
Hello DEAR
Where R U
Now...?
No Visits...,
No Calls....,
No SMS from Wik,
No Missed calls,
I M So worried...
---------
Are U n JAIL again?
Pls r e p l y!

Aap kya jano hum tumhe kitna yaad karte hai,
Aap kya jano hum tumhe kitna yaad karte hai,
Harpal tumhari faryad karte hai,
Roz khat likhte hai Cartoon network ko,
Aap ko dikhane ki mang karte hai....

Teri lambi umar ho,tu (In Urdu)
Teri lambi umar ho,tu abad ho,tu jo mange wo tujhe mile..AB YE LINES YAAD KAR,KITCHEN ME JAA,KATORA PAKAR,GHAR SE NIKAL AUR SHURU HOJA

Hi, I m standing by my window,
Hi, I m standing by my window, waiting for ur message, if u dont sms me i ll jump from .............Groung floor
3 things i like about u (In urdu)
3 things i like about u.
1-------
2-----.------
3-----,------,-------
Yaar kush to asha kia hot zindagi main

app hamareee gali main aayaa
app hamareee gali main aayaa thora sa sharmaya thora sa muskuraya thora sa ghbharaya ur phir zoor say bolay ! " allah k naam pe dede baba" By ghabhrai app
if 10 persons in a day prey 4 u...(In Urdu)
if 10 persons in a day prey 4 u...i wil b one of them...if 5 persons in a day prey 4 u .i will b 1 of them...if 1 person in a day prey 4 u ..i will b that one...and if no one prey 4 u..it means..MUJE AUR BHI KAAM HAIN...

i love u,i love u,i love u,
i love u,i love u,i love u,i love u,i love u,i love u,don't be crazy,i love also other alphabet like v,w,x,y,z.

teray liye chand taray tor doon(In Urdu)
teray liye chand taray tor doon,in hawaon ka rukh mor doon,itna kafi hai ya do char jhoot aur bol doon.

Flirt1

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:29:00 +0000

Nobody is like you
Nobody is like u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody misses u, nobody wants to see u good, nobody is ur best fr, nobody is happy with u.... dont cry.......my name is nobody

I m getting married next month.
I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

Its too hard to loose someone
Its too heard to loose someone who is 99% cute, 98% sweet, 97% loving, 96% talented and 100% friendly, Thats me, whats a waste of life if u loose me.

if u read this, i m smart..
if u read this, i m smart.. if u save this, u agree i m smart.. if u 4ward this, u r spreadin that i m smart.. if u delete this u r jealous...

Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips,
Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, a great smile the perfect walk, smoothest talk, absolute gorgeous, thts enough bout me... how r u ?

Rules of Life:
Rules of Life:Assume Nothing,Xpect Little,Do More,Demand Less,Smile Often,Dream Big,Laugh a Lot,Pray Always,Cry Once for missing me everyday.

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you?

i look at the moon
i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again
U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,
U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words...

Jokes- Sardar again

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:20:00 +0000

how do u identify a sardar in a class?-check who is erasing his notes when teacher is cleaning the board.

*************

sardar was writing exam standing at the door. another guy asks "aap darvaje parkhade hokar exam kyu likh rahe ho?" sardar says "bavakoof entrance exam hai"

*************

sardarji went to the STD PCO shop and slapped the operator twice because there was written "number dabane se pehle 2 lagao".

**************

sardars son : today i have ran behind the bus and i saved 3rupees.
sardar      ; idiot if you had ran behind a taxi, you could have saved 30 rupees.

*********

sardars wedding card:
my marriage is on 2nd afternoon so all of you come at 1st night

*********

russia: we r first in space
usa: we r first on the moon
india: we wil be first on the sun
usa: u cant land on the sun, its hot
sardar: we are not stupids, we will go at night!!!!!!

********

a machine rings if someone lies
american: i think i can eat 20kgs chicken
         trring
russian: i think i can drink 5 cans of milk
         trrng
sardar: i think...
         trrrnnng

************

A Sardarji is buying a TV.....
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
Give me a green one, please."

----------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take
to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

--------------------------------------------------------------

EMPLOYMENT..
Our sardarji was filling up an application form
for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He
was not sure as to what to be filled there.
after much thought he wrote : Yes

----------------------------------------------------------------
CROCODILE BOOTS..
A Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if
you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets
off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search
is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over
the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* bare feet!"

----------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it
keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with this new
thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks,"What is that
shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says,"What does it do?" He replies,
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

----------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed
it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later
disconnected it
because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone
utha ke
bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
(After picking up the phone he says we are not at
home)

----------------------------------------------------------------
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!

----------------------------------------------------------------
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!

----------------------------------------------------------------
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab
from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied,
"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over
us and then we would be a state of USA
and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very simple
solution but an old surd did not utter a single
word.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

----------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found
a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his
hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a
complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair
color,
new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days
before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

A genuine Bihari

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:05:00 +0000

This is a true incident which happened in a college in Bihar.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn't know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me". The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and shouted again "Don't follow me" and went inside the class..........
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# Prof. Bihari Inside the Class :
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class ..)
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# About his family :
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# At the ground :
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# To a boy, angrily :
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# Giving a punishment :
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# Sir at his best :
* Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theater, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... ( to that boy ) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theater"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Married version of Wives

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:59:00 +0000

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want,then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" the other replied, "yes, Am .I married the wrong man."
Before a man is married ,he is incomplete.Then when he is married, he is finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy ,how much does it cost to get married?". And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Young son:Is it true,Dad,I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Dad:"That happens in most countries son".
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late".
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take;the husband gives and the wife takes.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.But when a ten-year married man looks happy,we wonder why.Affair?
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the women speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel,a wife said to her husband, "you know,I was a fool when I married you."And the husband replied, "Yes ,dear,but i was in love and didn't notice it".
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified. "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine".
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.
A women was telling her friend: it is I who my husband a millionaire ". "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied "A multimillionaire".

Jokes->all about wives

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:10:00 +0000

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-George Burns

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
-Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-Phyllis Diller

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool then married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let in keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. you order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, Youwish you had ordered that.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

An applicant was filling out a job application.

1. When he came to the question, Have you ever been arrested? He answered, #No.# The next
question, intended for people, who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was #Why?# The applicant answered it anyway: #Never got caught.#
2. Employer to applicant: #In this job we need someone who is responsible.# Applicant: #I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.#
3. Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? I ought to be able to. I've had ten
different jobs in four months.
4. Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.
5. Why did the man wear a wet shirt? Because the shirt's label said: #Wash and wear..#
6. Q: Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
A: Madrid.
7. A teacher was testing the young student's intelligence. #When is your birthday dear?# asked
the teacher to his six-year old. #22nd February#, said the child. #What year my dear# asked
the teacher. #Every year#, said the child with a smile.
8. Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them
9. Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Opportunity.
Can't be.
Why Not?
Opportunity knocks only once.
10.Q: What is the best place to go to when you are dying?
A: The living room.
11.Q: When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
A: When it isn't raining.
12.Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side.
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.
13.Q: Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
A: Because they are always practising.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same : "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never et to prove it.

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said," Dad! I've found a woman just like mother" His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman - and then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out..."

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, noone pays the least bit of attention.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get your laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

HEIGHT OF REPETITION: Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you by some one in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION: Two persons sitting side by side using e-mails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE: Two persons fighting through e-mails.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS: Receiving no e-mails for a week.

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION: The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS: Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.

HEIGHT OF TIME PASS: A person sending email to himself.

Sorry if u have achieved HEIGHT OF REPETITION just now.

Jokes-> Java interview freak

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:06:00 +0000

Hi Guy's ....

If u Ans to the Questions asked in the Interviews like this ....
I'm sure ....Def...U'll get Job. So read carefuly
and get ready for interviews...all the best ...guys

Do not waste your time in weekends. Prepare well for New Java Openings.

Read Some Important Java (Interview) Questions.

Q. What is the diffrence between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different nothing more

Q. What do you know about the garbage collector?
A. Person who clean the dust bin.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. How do you communicate in between Applets & Servlets?
A. If they are reachable by walk, I will go in person, else I will use phone.

Q. What is the use of Servlets?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. What is the order of method invocation in an Applet?
A. Either ascending or desending.

Q. When is update method called?
A. Who is update method?

Q. Have you ever used HashTable and Dictionary ?
A. There is a Dictionary named Hash in my table.

Q. What is JAR file?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JNI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. What is the base class for all swing components?
A. A glass that can be beneath all and which is very rigid.

Q. What is JFC?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. What is Difference between AWT and Swing?
A. AWT is an acronym. Swing is a word.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. Why do you Canvas?
A. To get victory in election.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.

Q. What is serialization?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean? Where it can be used?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other?
A. Non living things can communicate.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish, I do not have any objections.

Q. What are virtual functions?
A. Functions about which we are dreaming.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact difference in between Unicast and Multicast object?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, Else it is multicast.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. What is meant by flickering?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. What is meant by distributed Application?
A. Distributing application forms

Q. Explain 2-tier and 3-tier Architecture?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Jokes->Newton's Laws of Immigration

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:00:00 +0000

LAW 1 :
An Indian will continue to stay in USA due to inertia or greed until a force called deportation is applied.

LAW 2 :
The Force of Deportation F = ma where m = Amount Of Money an Indian Earned/Saved in USA, a = dm/dt = The Rate at which an Indian Saved Money. (This is contrary to the Popular Belief that an Indian will return back after making lot of Money.)

LAW 3 :
For each and every Indian that goes back To Desh for a temporary visit, an Indian of opposite sex will come to USA on a Permanent Basis.

Nokia Mobile screen Resolution

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:30:00 +0000

Phone	Description	Symbian OS System	Screen
Nokia 3230	Series 60 phone with visual radio	v7.0s (Series 60)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 3250	Series 60 phone with 2megapixel camera and space for 750 music tracks	v9.1 (Series 60 v3)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 3650/3600	Series 60 phone with built-in camera from Nokia	v6.1 (Series 60 v1.0)	176 x 208 pixels
Nokia 3660/3620	Revised version of the 3650/3600	v6.1 (Series 60 v1.0)	176 x 208 pixels
Nokia 6260	Series 60 clamshell handset	v7.0s (Series 60)	176 x 208 pixels
Nokia 6600/6620	Series 60 phone with built-in camera from Nokia.	v7.0s (Series 60 2.0)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 6630	Series 60 handset for 3G as well has GSM networks.	v8.0 (Series 60)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 6670	Series 60 handset for 3G networks.	v7.0 (Series 60)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 6680	Series 60 3G handset with two cameras and flash.	v8.0 (Series 60 2.6)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 6681/6682	Series 60 phone, EDGE, Flash & Camera	v8.0 (Series 60 2.6)	176 x 144 pixels
Nokia 7610	Series 60 phone	v7.0s (Series 60)	176×208 pixels
Nokia 7650	First Series 60 phone with built-in camera from Nokia.	v6.1 (Series 60 1.0)	176×208 pixels
Nokia E50	Slimline business phone with email.	Series 60 v 9.1	240×320 pixels
Nokia E60	Business phone with wi-fi.	Series 60 v 9.1	352×416 pixels
Nokia E61/E61i	3G business phone with wi-fi and full keyboard.	Series 60 v 9.1	320 x 240 pixels
Nokia E65	3G business phone with wi-fi and a 2meg camera.	Series 60 v 9.1	240 x 320 pixels
Nokia E70	3G business phone with wi-fi and a 2meg camera	Series 60 v9.1	416 x 352 pixels
Nokia E90	3G phone with a keyboard, GPS, wi-fi and a 3.2meg camera.	v9.2 (Series 60 v3.1)	800 x 352 pixels
Nokia N-Gage	Combined games console and mobile phone.	v6.1 (Series 60 1.0)	176×208 pixels
Nokia N-Gage QD	Second version of the games console / mobile phone.	v6.1 (Series 60 1.0)	176×208 pixels
Nokia N70/N70ME	3G phone with advanced camera features.	Series 60 V 2	176×208 pixels
Nokia N71	Tri-band with 2Megapixel camera.	Series 60 v 9.1	320×240 pixels
Nokia N72	2 megapixel camera	Series 60 v 8.1	176×208 pixels
Nokia N73	Quad-band with 3.2 Megapixel camera	Series 60 v 9.1	320×240 pixels
Nokia N76	3G, Quadband phone with a 2 Megapixel camera	Series 60 v 9.2	320×240 pixels
Nokia N80	3G, Quadband phone with a 3 Megapixel camera.	Series 60 v 9.1	352 x 416 pixels
Nokia N90	2 Megapixel camera, with a twist.	Series 60 v 8.1	416 x 352 pixels
Nokia N91/N91 ME	WLAN 3G phone with internal hard-disk of 4GB/8GB for thousands of music files.	Series 60 v 9.1	176×208 pixels
Nokia N93/N93i	3.2 Megapixel with 3 x optical zoom and wi-fi	Series 60 v 9.1	240×320 pixels
Nokia N95	GPS receiver and 5 Megapixel camera, with wi-fi	Series 60 v9.1	240 x 320 pixels
Nokia N81/N81 8GB	3.5 mm headphone connector and 3G and WLAN connectivity.	Series 60 v 9.2	240 x 320 pixels
Nokia 5700	3.5 mm connector with 2 megapixel camera, 4x digital zoom and flash	Series 60 v 9.1	240×320 pixels
Nokia N77	Wide 2.4â€� flat screen DVB-H TV, 2 megapixel camera 16x zoom.	Series 60 V 9.1	240 x 320 pixels
Nokia 6120/6121	3G or HSDPA, 2 megapixel camera with flash and panorama imaging.	Series 60 V 9.1	240×320 pixels
Nokia 6110 Navigator	Download and surf the web via high-speed 3.5G, GPS & with local maps.	Series 60 V9.1	320×240 pixels
Nokia N92	Download and surf the web via high-speed 3.5G, GPS & with local maps.	Series 60 V 9.1	320×240 pixels
Nokia N82	5 Megapixel camera with GPS and TV out	Series 60 V 9.2	240×320 pixels
Nokia N75	Listen to music in 3D Stereo sound with 3G access.	Series 60 V 9.1	240×320 pixels
Nokia E51	2 Megapixel Camera with your access to Email from anywhere.	Series 60 V9.2	240 x 320 pixels
Nokia N95 8GB	5 Megapixel Camera with 8gb storage withTV out, WiFi and GPS.	Series 60 V 9.2	240 x 320 pixels

mobile sms friendship 4

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:28:00 +0000

plants are green and earth is blue,
plants are green and earth is blue, why ur so nice to me i want a clue, What ever may be the resone like u , b'coz in world like this, i will never get a friend like you!

1 advice-take care, 1 Request-don't change
1 advice-take care, 1 Request-don't change, 1 Wish don't forget me, 1 Lie-I Hate U, 1 Truth-I Miss U, 1 Hope-We 'll always be Good Friend!

If i get ur Smile, I don't need Flowers,
If i get ur Smile, I don't need Flowers,If i get ur Voice, I don't need Music, If u speak to me, I don't need anybody else,U just b my Friend, I don't need the world!

Friendship is a little more trust
Friendship is a little more trust, a little more laugh, a little less cry, a little more luv, a little less fight a little more "WE" & a little Less "I"!
keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love.

keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love, bcoz sun rise in east and sets in west but friendship rises in HEART and sets after DEATH!

Have a "HEART" that never breaks,
Have a "HEART" that never breaks, Have a"SMILE" that never fades, HAve a touch that never Hurt$, Have a "FRIENDSHIP" that naver ends , Like Ours!

The recipe of friendship
The recipe of friendship:, 1 cup of sharing.. 2 cups of caring.. 3 cups of forgiveness &hugs.. mixx all these together to make friends 4 ever..

Hold 10 Roses in ur hand
Hold 10 Roses in ur hand & stand opposite of the mirror, U'll see 11 Roses & among them, the most Beautiful rose in the World is U my dear friend...

I cant find a reason why God gave U to me
I cant find a reason why God gave U to me , but that is not the question to b asked,May b the question is how did God knew that i needed a friend like U...

A good friend is like a computer
A good friend is like a computer, Enter your life ,'Save' u in their heart, 'format' ur problam 'shift' u to opportunities & never 'delete' u from 'memory'!

There r many stars but the Moon is u
There r many stars but the Moon is u. There r many friends but the Sweet one is u. To forget me is now up t@ u. To forget u is something i will never ever do.

Some friends r worth 2b thrown,
Some friends r worth 2b thrown, Some r good 2 keep, Some r 2b treasured 4 ever, and i think ur one 2 b kept 4 ever.

incoming is free for me
When ur alone, When ur crying, When ur upset, Don't think of me!! just call me coz incoming is free for me.. my friend!!

Hold 10 Roses in Ur Hands
Hold 10 Roses in Ur Hands & Stand Opposite to the Mirror,
U'll see 11 Roses & among them, the most Beautiful Rose in the World is U my dear friend....

One day Friendship and Love met.
One day Friendship and Love met. Love asked why do you exists when I am here, friendship ans I am here to leave smile where u leave tears.

Hi, there.... Perhaps that
Hi, there.... Perhaps that You Plus Me Equal to FRienDshiP Do drop an equation if i am correct in maths.

Life is a garden,good friends
Life is a garden,good friends are the flowers and the time spent togeather are life`s happiest hours.

i could send a million
i could send a million heart warming notes of friendshipbut sometimes they are too long when all i need to say is simple THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLOOD AND FRIEND.BLOOD ENTERS THE HEART AND FLOWS.BUT FRIEND ENTERS THE HEART AND STAY INSIDE FOREVER.......

I thank God I'm rich no
I thank God I'm rich not with money but with people like you. I may not have the most expensive things but I've got a most precious gem. a friend like you.

If one day you feel like crying,
If one day you feel like crying, call me. I can't promise to make you laugh, but I'm willing to cry with you.

One tree can start a forest,
One tree can start a forest, one smile can start a friendship. One touch can show you care, one friend can make life worth living for.

Some One Like Goldship
Some One Like Goldship,Some one Like Silvership,I like one Ship That is your Friendship...

Whenever I see your smiling face,
Whenever I see your smiling face I have to smile myself, because I like you, you're my friend!!!

I sent my cares 2 the wind
I sent my cares 2 the wind and ask the wind 2 pass them 2 u,when u feel the wind blowing against ur face that's me saying take care of yourself..

Feeling is a painting,never
Feeling is a painting,never spoil it.Face is a book, try to read it.Love is precious,never lose it And friendship is a mirror, never break it..
I can t find a reason why God
I can t find a reason why God gave U to me, but that is not the question to b asked; May b the question is how did God knew that I needed a friend like U.

when u r sad.........i will try ur tears
when u r sad.........i will try ur tears
when u r scared.........i will comfort ur fears
when u r worried........i will give u hope
when u r confused.......i will give u cope
and when u r lost.......and cant see the light
i shall be ur beacon.....shining ever so bright
this is my oath........i pledge till the end
why u may ask?........because u r my friend

mobile sms friendship 3

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:26:00 +0000

Arre..listen.. 2 people were asking me ur details 2 day

Arre..listen.. 2 people were asking me ur details 2 day. I gave them ur address n no. They will b visiting u soon. Their names r JOY & HAPPINESS.!!!

u r HIV +ve
Conducting a blood test on u... testing... testing in progress... result: SORRY HIV+(HONEY IN VEINS) ur full of honey no wonder ur so sweet!

Life without ur SMS is Tea W/o sugar,
Life without ur SMS is Tea W/o sugar, Coffee W/o milk, Bread W/o butter,Salad W/o onion, Candy W/o cream, Chicken W/o spice, Icecream W/o ice, ME W/o U!

I have a special meal for you:
I have a special meal for you: A glass of CARE, A plate of LOVE, A spoon of PEACE, A fork of TRUST, and A bowl of HAPPINESS.. so hog nicely!

what is meant by Friend
F: FIELD of LOVE!..R: ROOT of JOy!.. I: ISLAND of GOD!.. E: END of SORROW!.. N: NAME of HOPE!.. D: DOOR of UNDERSTANDING! tats YOU my FRIEND..

There's st@ry behind every friendship.
There's st@ry behind every friendship. Each friend we make is start @f each st@ry, our st@ry had a w@nderful beginning.. H@pe this st@ry,never has an ending!

Know what makes me happy wen u msg me
Know what makes me happy wen u msg me? Not ur jokes, Graphics or sweet msgs but ur NAME that "APPEARS" on the call when it beeps knowing that u remember me.!

Friendship happens inside the heart,
Friendship happens inside the heart, Silent.. Unwritten.. Unbreakable by distance..Unchangeable by time.. Once a Friend, always a Friend.!
I want nothing but a BIG SMILE from u!
Earth wants water, Flower wants dew, I want nothing but a BIG SMILE from u!

Friends are like shoes
Friends are like shoes, some loose some tight, some fit just right, they help u as u walk through life. thanks for being my size!
a FRIEND like u is 4 ever 4 me..!!
For me U r as... Chees 4 pizza.. passport 4 visa... butter 4 bread.. ice 4 freezer.. cream 4 cake... water 4 lake.. leaf 4 tree.. a FRIEND like u is 4 ever 4 me..!!

Notice ur phone got heavier with this message
Notice ur phone got heavier with this message ? it contains load of love. affection and prayers to keep u happy n safe. Have a nive sleep Good nite!

A friend gives hope when life is low
A friend gives hope when life is low, A friend is a place you've no where to go,A friend is honest,friend is true, A friend is precious, A friend is you.!!!

Wonderful people r carefully
Wonderful people r carefully created by God,wonderful moments are carefully planned by God,wonderful friends like you are carefully gifted by God

Some friends r worth 2b thrown,
Some friends r worth 2b thrown,Some r good 2 keep,Some r 2b Treasured 4 ever,and i Think u r one 2 b Thrown...in the Treasure Box 2 b kept 4 ever.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is
over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship
until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend hates it when you call
after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Pass this on to anyone you care about....
if you get it back you have found real friends!

It takes half our life to find true f
It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them. I am lucky to have spent less than half my life finding you & wish to spend the rest keeping you.

A memory lasts forever, and never
A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

Make your life a house your heart
Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories.... of many good things

Friendship is a wonderful word,
Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be the most beautiful one on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!

No gold or precious stones
No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and its warmth ... will bring it to us

I must have been born under
I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!

Friend: someone who tells you th
Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others tell after you die

You can eat and drink together,
You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together

I can't b d best person in this world
I can't b d best person in this world, but I can be me. I may not b d sweetest, but I can b as sweet as I can b. I may not b d one for u, but I'll always b there for u.

How long shall we be friends? Do y
How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, as long as angels are there up high, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.

Beauty is start of life, beauty is art of life,
Beauty is start of life, beauty is art of life, risk is part of life, and good friend is heart of life By Sana
Everyone hears what you say
Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

mobile sms friendship 2

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:23:00 +0000

One tree can start a forest,
One tree can start a forest, One Smile can start Friendship , One touch can show luv n care, & One friend like u can make life worth-living!

Tiny starz shining bright
Tiny starz shining bright its time 4 me 2 say goodnite, so close ur eyes & snuggle up tight I'm wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!

ur 1 of a kind and always in mind..
Sumtime i 4get 2say HI, sumtime i miss 2reply,sumtimes my msg doesn't reach u, but it doesnt mean i 4get u,bcoz. ur 1 of a kind and always in mind...

friend , If u leave me, i 'll die...
If u drop me, i 'll break, If u hold me, i 'll shake, If u need me, i'll hurry, If u don't call me, i 'll worry, If u hurt me, i'll cry, but friend , If u leave me, i 'll die...

Heart could only Love 4 a while
Heart could only Love 4 a while, U can put many relation in a file, U can make a desert from the nile, But u cant stop my smile, when i see ur name on my mobile.!

Help ever... hurt never...
Help ever... hurt never... love ever.. hate naver... give ever... except never... smile ever... cry never... think me ever..forget me never...!

When God open the windows of Heaven
When God open the windows of Heaven he saw me & asked "what is ur wish 2 day?" i said "Lord Take Care of the Dear One who is reading this SMS"!

24 sweet hours makes 1 sweet day
24 sweet hours makes 1 sweet day! 7 Sweet day! makes 1 Sweet week! 4 Sweet weaks make 1 Sweet person like u meakes the life sweet!

Feelings R many but Words R few
Feelings R many but Words R few.. Clouds R dark, But Sky is blue.. Love is a paper, life is a glue Everything is false.. but Friendship s True...!!

Morning is God's way of saying '1 more time
Morning is God's way of saying '1 more time .. Go, live life make a difference touch ones heart, encourage 1's mind inspire 1's soul & enjoy d day...' 1 more time.!

it's me..!
sweet but not honey, precious but not money, bright but not sunshine, Improves with time but not wine, dont know?? ,it's me..!

Longest love is mother's love
Longest love is mother's love,Shortest love is other love, Sweetest love is Lover's love, but Strongest love is friend love., like u and me!

MY friendship is just like a rubber band
MY friendship is just like a rubber band, It is too flexible, Stretch it as much as u can, but if u leave it,it 'll hurt u a lot, really a lot!

A lovely star dropped on earth one
A lovely star dropped on earth one night.Asked me u want a million dollar or a good frnd?I had 2 choose million dollars coz, I already have u...

Our "Frenship" is a crossed cheque
Our "Frenship" is a crossed cheque of Rs HAPPY/- which v both have... when u feel upset and alone,withdraw it from my a/c. When u r too happy, deposit it in my a/c

Friends are like stars.
Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

FRIENDSHIP is like a tree
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...

We've known each other by CHANCE
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

Life's lyk a novel. Mani cha
Life's lyk a novel. Mani chapters read and forgotten. But's there's one i wont 4get.. Its de chapters i met u and we became friends.. Take care..

Dear O Dear, You are not Near,
Dear O Dear, You are not Near, But I can Hear, Dont Get Fear, Your memories Here, Live with Cheer, No more Tear!.......

A friend is someone we turn
A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure for
our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace.
And makes the whole world we live in a better and happier place

A Friend is : 1% Funny ,
A Friend is : 1% Funny , 2% Sweet , 3% Caring , 4% Loving , and ................... 90% Smart
& GooD lOOkinG . That's y U r My FRIEND .... !!!! Have a nice day n Keep smiling!!!

Keep the lamp of friendship
Keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love bcoz sun rises in east and sets in west but friendship rises in heart and sets after death. do remember ur friends.

If friends were flowers I w
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

mobile sms friendship

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:22:00 +0000

Friendship is not a Game to Play
Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say, It doesn't start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday.

Moon said to me to leave your friend
Moon said to me, if ur friend is not messaging u why dont you leave ur friend.I looked at moon and said does ur sky ever leave u when u dont shine.

Age appears to be best in some things
Age appears to be best in some things. Old wood best to burn. Old books best to read. Old rice best to eat and old friends best to keep

God picked up a flower
God picked up a flower and dipped it in a DEW, lovingly touched it which turned in to u, and the he gifted to me and said, THIS FRIEND IS 4U.

To live a life
To live a life i need heartbeat, 2 have heartbeat i need a heart, 2 have heart i need happiness, to have happiness i need a friend, and 4 a friend i need U.ALWAYS

True friends r like morning
True friends are like mornings, u cant have them the whole day, but u can be sure, they will be there when u wakeup tomorrow, next year and forever.

Make 1000's friends
Its not an achievement to make 1000's friends in a year, but an achievement is when you make a friend for 1000's years.

6 rules to be HAPPY
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

Never abandon old friends.
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.

I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains;
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

ill always value u deep within my heart!
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!
If friends were flowers

If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

Ur validity of being my friend is going 2 b expired
Ur validity of being my friend is going 2 b expired today,plz recharge ur friendship immidetly by delivering 4-5 sweet & cool msgs.So hurry

Friendship is sweet when it’s new
Friendship is sweet when it’s new, Sweeter when its true, but sweetest when its u. When God gave friends he tried 2 b fair! When I got u, I got more than my share!

mobie sms wishes

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:17:00 +0000

I wish a wish for u.
I wish a wish for u.Its a wish I wish for few.The wish I wish for u is that all ur wishes come true so keep wishing as my best wishes are always with u.

Difficulties in your life do not com
Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy U,
but to help U realise ur hidden potential and Power,
Let Difficulties know that U too are DIFFICULT((ALWAYZ THINK +IVE))

Genuine success comes only to th
Genuine success comes only to those who are ready for it.Good Luck

If you fail to plan then you are pla
If you fail to plan then you are planning to fail.

A successful man is one who c
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. Good luck

A Young man's attitude towards l
A Young man's attitude towards life helps to determine this altitude. Good luck to you my dear.

To accomplish great things, we must n
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan but also believe. Best wishes for your exam.By Saadia
All you need in the life is ignorance
All you need in the life is ignorance and confidence and then success is sure. Good luck.

The candle of hope is the source
The candle of hope is the source of light for success in life so don't loose it. Failures try to blow it out but try to guard it with both your hands.Good Luck to U.

Every bad situation will have so
Every bad situation will have something positive...Even a stopped Clock is correct twice a day...Think of this & lead ur life....Good LUCK....

Soft Speech clean heart,
Soft Speech clean heart,
peaceful eyes, strengthful hands,
focussed mind and determined decision with God's Love.
Alway Makes you winner.

Stealing the blue from the splashing seas,
Stealing the blue from the splashing seas,
A tinge of green from the youthful trees,
A bit of orange from the sunset hues,
With crystal white from the morning dews,
I have framed a bright and colourful wish
Just for you..............

MAY UR HEART BE HAPPY & UR DAYS BE BRIGHT.
MAY UR ROADS BE SMOOTH & UR BURDENS BE LIGHT...
MAY U FIND THE DREAMS & TOUCH THE STARS & NEVER FORGET HOW SPECIAL U R !!!!

MAY THE ANGELS PROTECT U.
MAY SADNESS FORGET U...
MAY GOODNESS S AROUND U..
MAY HAPPINESS BE AROUND U...
& MAY ALLAH ALWAYS BLESS U..

When u face problems in life, don't ask GOD to take them away. Ask Him to show His purpose- Ask ways how to live a day searching his purpose for you. GOD BLESS And VERY BEST OF LUCK!!!

A fulfiling future belongs 2 those wit strong vision and resilence.It doesn't matter where U might be now.Starting well n finishing strong is what counts.

Always try 2 b a first place winner,coz d second place winner is d first loser.Good Luck

when things go wrong...
when sadness fills ur heart...
when tears flow in ur eyes...always remember 3 things
1---GOD
2---ur parents
3---my sincere prayers.....GOD LUCK&God bless u.

Every sunset gives us one day
Every sunset gives us one day less to live! But every sunrise give us, one day more to hope! So, hope for the best. Good Day & Good Luck!

The HOPE, The STRUGGLE and The HARD WORK
The HOPE, The STRUGGLE and The HARD WORK towards a goal/ success is part of the rewards. Achieving goal itself is not the whole reward........

Care for the one who shares
Care for the one who shares with u, share with the one who knows u, know the one who MISSES u, MISS the one who WELL WISHES for u, Wish u all the Best

Fly in the plane of Ambition
Fly in the plane of Ambition & Land in the Airport of Success...Luck is yours,Wish is mine...May Ur future always shine...Good Luck

I Wish 4 " U "
I Wish 4 " U "
Great start 4 Monday
No Obstacles 4 Tuesday
No stress 4 Wednesday
No worry 4 Thursday
Smile 4 Friday
Party 4 Saturday
& Great fun 4 Sunday
"Have a beautiful and smart week."

Happiness as light as air.
Happiness as light as air.
LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN.
Friends as solid as diamonds and
success as bright as gold.
These r my wishes 4 u today n everyday...
With my 1 Heart...2 eyes.
With my
1 Heart...
2 eyes...
5 litre blood...
206 bones...
1.2million Red Cells...
60 trillion D.N.A.'s...
I wish u "All the very best of LUCK"...

luck is yours
luck is yours wishes are mine let's ur future be always shine.Best of Luck By sulagna
Trusting God won't make the mountain
Trusting God won't make the mountain smaller but it will make climbing easier. Hope you will be able to climb all your mountains always. Good Luck

Meaning of some colors,
Meaning of some colors, Yellow for special friend, white for peace, orange 4 luck,black for hate, red for love and pink for likeness,So i choose for u Orange Flower.Wish u goodluck

examination is garden success is follower
examination is garden success is follower
god bless you power to pluck this follower

Trust your heart don't be afraid
Trust your heart don't be afraid to reach out to something new.Go ahead get yor hopes up even if things turns out differently than you have imagined.You will have tried,you will have learned,you never have to live with regrets.It seems to me what wears us down the most in life aren't the chances we take but the ones we don't take,the dreams we put aside,the adventure we push away.So what ever you want in life go for it an dalways remember no-matter what trust youer heart.

Nokia mobile frequently used codes

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:02:00 +0000

* *3370# This Nokia code activates Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) - Your Nokia cell phone uses the best sound quality but talk time is reduced my approx. 5%
* #3370# Deactivate Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) .
* *#4720# Activate Half Rate Codec - Your phone uses a lower quality sound but you should gain approx 30% more Talk Time.
* *#4720# With this Nokia code you can deactivate the Half Rate Codec.
* *#0000# Displays your phones software version, 1st Line : Software Version, 2nd Line : Software Release Date, 3rd Line : Compression Type .
* *#9999# Phones software version if *#0000# does not work.
* *#06# For checking the International Mobile Equipment Identity (IMEI Number) .
* #pw+1234567890+1# Provider Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols).
* #pw+1234567890+2# Network Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols) .
* #pw+1234567890+3# Country Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols).
* #pw+1234567890+4# SIM Card Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" and "+" symbols) .
* *#147# This lets you know who called you last (Only vodofone).
* *#1471# Last call (Only vodofone) .
* *#21# This phone code allows you to check the number that "All Calls" are diverted to.
* *#2640# Displays phone security code in use .
* *#30# Lets you see the private number.
* *#43# Allows you to check the "Call Waiting" status of your cell phone.
* *#61# Allows you to check the number that "On No Reply" calls are diverted to .
* *#62# Allows you to check the number that "Divert If Unreachable (no service)" calls are diverted to .
* *#67# Allows you to check the number that "On Busy Calls" are diverted to
* *#67705646# Phone code that removes operator logo on 3310 & 3330
* *#73# Reset phone timers and game scores.
* *#746025625# Displays the SIM Clock status, if your phone supports this power saving feature "SIM Clock Stop Allowed", it means you will get the best standby time possible .
* *#7760# Manufactures code.
* *#7780# Restore factory settings.
* *#8110# Software version for the nokia 8110.
* *#92702689# Displays - 1.Serial Number, 2.Date Made, 3.Purchase Date, 4.Date of last repair (0000 for no repairs), 5.Transfer User Data. To exit this mode you need to switch your phone off then on again.
* *#94870345123456789# Deactivate the PWM-Mem.
* **21*number# Turn on "All Calls" diverting to the phone number entered.
* **61*number# Turn on "No Reply" diverting to the phone number entered .
* **67*number# Turn on "On Busy" diverting to the phone number entered .
* 12345 This is the default security code .
* press and hold # Lets you switch between lines.
*#2820# Bluetooth (BT) device address only for bluetooth handset

Welcome post

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:37:00 +0000

In this blog one can share, upload comment about the development of themes based on the issue of edition. Hoping that this attempt will be a triumph which can come up with the current tips and tricks.

Free nokia themes

noreply@blogger.com (masti4rall) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:57:00 +0000