My current goal is have my first submission packet out by the 18th. Five minutes after I click send on my submission email I am immediately going to quell my nerves with Starbucks.  The day I receive word of my submission receipt I think it will be ice cream. When the first rejection arrives, I think I’ll throw my own Renegade Baker whoopie pie party, where I’ll likely be baking my own flavors. When I get my first acceptance, I think I may need to go all out and invade Oh Snap! Cupcakes.

Do we sense a trend that it all revolves around sugar? I’m better at it than I was in the past but damn I am one Grade A emotional eater. *laughs*

I’m pretty psyched about the whole process but I’m also an equal measure of freakin’ out maaaaan~ Game over! Game over! I think the first one is always the hardest, because it’s your baby, and 10-9 is a deeply personal story for me. It’s always tough to send it off in the world for other people to see. Perhaps it gets easier? I’m not so sure. Possibly not at all.

While I have been fantastically terrible about broadcasting my Weight Watchers progress (because for a while there wasn’t any.) I am happy to report a miracle has somehow occurred. For weeks I was bouncing back and forth between 250 and 248. I would get to 248, celebrate, and then sabotage myself back into 250. To my knowledge I haven’t exactly done anything terribly different, but college did start up two weeks ago. Somehow my body decided to get with the program and as of this morning I am officially 244! AHMAHGAH. I’ve lost 11 pounds since starting the program! YAY! I have two pounds to go until I am at my 5% weight loss goal and it’s all so terribly exciting for the chance to set a new goal.

Things are looking bright on this end of things. I’ve also discovered the Nook App a couple days ago (I’m late to the game okay?) I can’t imagine how I lived without it for so long. It’s totally a gateway drug into buying an actual Nook. Soon… Soon my beloved… Soooooon…

Hay Purdy~

The spine I couldn't measure D:

Draft Comparisons

While quite lovely, this is only my own personal copy for review and to experience ‘as a reader’ before I make the submission rounds. I’m already to Chapter Four and in Chapter One which is only two pages I spotted copy editing flubs. D: Like where I had combined sentences and kind of neglected to actually redraft the sentence. Or I did and I just totally had blinders on. I have no idea what my excuse is but there is no reason for and to appear four times in a sentence. D:

Other than that… It’s a little dandy of a book. I’m already having people ask me if the cover is the final version. XD I had to explain to them that depending on the company that picks it up there will likely be half-naked embracing dudes on the cover. *laughs* Out of the companies I’m looking at, if I get in with one of my top choices I’m really looking forward to their staff cover artists. My top picks have some amazing ones in their employ that I know could do John and Ahimsa justice. :3

Now back to reading. And lamenting the use of however in the final draft. (Pro Tip: Never ever use ‘however’ in a story. It’s a sign of laziness. It just means ‘nonetheless’ and is a fairly useless word.)

Between Friday and Saturday with the help of a small village, I pounded out my very first query letter. All in all it was revised five times and is pretty damned nice. :3 While that took pretty much all day in the evening I started on the extended synopsis.

Tips for the synopsis in the Writer’s Guide include:

• Stick to your main characters.
• Stick to your main arc. Subplots take up valuable real estate.

Writing a synopsis is like basically writing an extended version of the back of the book. Only with the actual spoilers and ending. Think of it as writing a book report but a really exciting book report.  My book report synopsis draft has a good start, and I started over twice on it, the middle kinda meanders because I couldn’t think of punchy words. I resolved to write the whole thing in one go and at least get the events of the book down so I could go back and tighten it up after I’ve let it rest.

The query letter surprisingly was actually the easy part despite it being really hard. The query is only a page and includes a ‘back copy’ style summary of your book in as few words as possible. It’s kind of like the ‘elevator pitch’ where you’re on an elevator, a producer gets in with you, and you have sixty seconds or less to pitch your idea. I’m kind of amazed what I condensed 10-9 down to was an insane feat. But I did it and with the help of my BFFs Rose and Khet we tweaked it into something awesome. Khet had a rather brilliant suggestion on one part and while she said say this but in one word I just couldn’t because the phrase she came up with was pure gold.

The line in question was ‘tattoos keeping a cynic’s account of past lovers’ and that’s all the context I’m willing to divulge. Mwaahahaha.

It’s crazy, and I’m positive 10-9′s not going to be accepted at the first door I knock on, but you can’t help but be a little hopeful. It’s weird how this story that’s been rattling about in my noggin for years has gone from ‘Oh there’s this story I’m working on that I hope to one day publish somehow… I just do it in my spare time blah blah blah…’ To actually finishing it. To no really actually trying to seek a publisher and get paid for the story. It’s like… Reaching a new stage in your life.

I actually remembered how I originally intended the ending to play out last night in my sleep addled exhaustion. While the end result is the same… The setting and circumstances are totally different. I kind of think the ending I came up with suits it better. Even the Epilogue details were a later addition to the story years down the road and is sort of a back door to a sequel or further stories in the world of 10-9. I’d like to explore other aspects of the lives touched by Composer and the Ministry of Defense. Maybe actually tell a story of a MOD soldier being a good guy. I know just whose story I can tell with that premise.

Ironically I feel kind of awkward that this blog never once had a ‘professional authoritative tone’ because I’m just me and I prefer to be approachable, casual, and down to earth. I wonder how that would bode for publishers eventually Googling me. I’ve read of places that when they read your blog, they actually check your grammar. Obviously I’m doomed with typing like I talk. Emoticons and all. XD

Mighty Flags of Confidence!

Today started out kind of iffy left over from my query letter jitters. I actually didn’t get my first meal of the day today till about 3PM because I was juggling so many things and was just too stressed to eat. My personal copy of 10-9 got kicked back from the printers, twice, because I was a moron and can’t measure. The good news is I learned a new pagination trick, the bad news is I can’t measure. Don’t tell anyone or they’ll revoke my graphic design powers.

Remmi also in the span of five minutes yesterday lost her kitten collar and it seems to have vanished into the Bermuda Triangle. Because bells are useful for kittens (if you’re a cat parent you get the usefulness of bells on an otherwise silent animal.) and because my morning was full of GAH FAIL it was deemed to Get Out Of The House.

Pet Smart conveniently enough is next door to Books-A-Million. Ironically enough my membership card to Books-A-Million expired a couple months ago. Why do you never know these things until you’re at the register and with enough to cover your purchase but not your renewal? Inquiring minds wanna know!

So I sat down this afternoon and pretty much went cover to cover on the 2011 Writer’s Market. Where the clouds parted and the angels sang sweet melodies of options. Fucktons of options. The pink flags are for my novel stuff, the blue flags are for magazines partially for class and mostly because they accept fiction submissions. The few orange flags are for ‘maybes’ as well as non-US publishers… Which I feel seriously stupid for not thinking of before. Hell, if one of my old SCAD professors and his wife are making cash hand over fist doing a bestselling comic in Kuwait while their domestic careers are modest who am I to knock it?

Mom jokingly ribbed me asking if the magazines accepted erotica. I just grinned and answered that’s exactly why I flagged them. Now she’s thinking of submitting something. *cackles!*

The best part for me actually is the section on query letter samples and a list on the dos and don’ts. Looking it up online only made me nervous because the websites encouraged you just to cut and paste theirs and insert your own terms. In the Writer’s Market I feel there’s a bit more authority behind it. I also appreciate the interview with Sookie Stackhouse novelist Charlaine Harris and her supposed ‘overnight success’ that wasn’t overnight in the slightest. In fact for her it took years and near food stamps.

Now I’m not scared anymore.

Of course the companies I’m looking at have simple enough guidelines. They’re very clear and easy to understand. However, I’m getting the little insecure voices in my head now.

What if I edited 10-9 into the wrong direction?

What if there really is no plot?

What if the characters are so unlikeable people will put it down?

What if I’m not really cut out for this?

What if, what if, what if?

I know it’s just the nerves talking. I won’t get there unless I make an effort. I’ve just got to dive in and either sink or swim. I can do this. It only hurts for a second. And I can not think about it until an emphatic yes or a polite no arrives. Don’t let them see you’re afraid and all that.

I think this is too much thinking for too late at night. Holy crap it’s bedtime.

Dare I say I actually have a final draft of 10-9? I dare say I do! I think my heart might explode. I’m pretty sure there’s some copy editing issues here and there but it’s as presentable as it’s going to get.

All in all I started with 48 chapters plus an Epilogue and ended up with 54 chapters plus an Epilogue same page count but 4.7k less words. I actually added in three chapters and I’m not going to lie they’re total hanky moments. It seems 10-9 is all about the hanky moments. I’m pretty satisfied with it all in all.

In the next couple of days I’m going to be ordering my final draft proof (with a PRETTY cover!) for one final read-through before it’s off to the races of submissions. Considering I’m going to shell out for the final proof… You can be sure I’m not going to change it unless like… My female cast members somehow pick up male pronouns. It’s happened! There’s a lot of doods in 10-9! It’s easy to forget the s in ‘she’ when you’re typing ‘he’ and ‘him’ all the time.

I’m elated I got through this before school starts on Monday. Now I can totally enjoy my Sunday and like… Not think about anything. Or maybe finally focus on The Book Formerly Known As The Promise. I miss Jack and Sevon my pretty little boys. ♥♥♥♥♥

I only had six chapters for tasty breakfast because there wasn’t anything on TV tonight. So You Think You Can Dance ended last week for another season and The Fabulous Beekman Boys finished out it’s season… So until Fall I’ve got very little to distract me. I’m seriously looking forward to ABC’s No Ordinary Family in September because I am such a superhero dweeb. Despite my better judgment I kind of can’t wait to see the Hawaii Five-O remake. I barely remember the original because I favored CHiPS as a four year old. Daniel Dae Kim is in it. Really. Lost’s very own Jin? How can I say no to Jin!

But. I digress. Even if I have nothing seriously earth shattering or witty to report about the land of book editing. It’s just totally asses and elbows time that I’m trying to get this bastard done. I just might cross the finish line before classes start on the 23rd. Can I do it? Possibly.

The word slash body count continues to rise. I’ve hacked out a sex scene, merging bits of it with another sex scene, and changed the conclusion of said scene. I’m obviously a monster. Yaoi books are all about the naked time and 10-9 is running disturbingly low on the naked. Too much plot up in that mess. Nyar-har~

I finished the First Draft at 408 pages and 84,620 words. Now I’m down to 399 pages and 79,951 words. That’s 4,669 words hacked off so far and counting. This thing might be a novella by the end of it! But I am speeding towards a pacing issue kicking off the finale of the book needing to be addressed. I suspect I’m going to pack some words back on in trying to correct it… I half suspect I’ll still cut off more words than I fill back in by the end of it.

This Just In: Rembrandt seems to be under the impression Mommy really likes having her toes bitten while writing. This kitten is a hellion. Hayull-Yun. She’s getting bigger. Oh my god nuuuuuuu~

After forcing myself to take Sunday off, I’ve only trimmed up two more chapters. Sunday was awful because I didn’t have anything exactly planned to do with my off day so I just sat at my laptop while watching TV and basically twitched a lot. However, I conquered Chapter 33 in 20 minutes in my doctor’s waiting room. I kind of make it a point to arrive early to appointments now because I’ve got crap all else to do. Chapter 34 I tore into after my Tuesday night fix of Discovery Channel’s The Colony. Amazing show by the way. Seriously fucked up in all the right ways. XD

Now I’m at the part of the book that I actually like. Of course I realize it may not be everyone’s favorite part due to a major lack of crap exploding left and right. And angst. I’m not going to lie 10-9 kind of slathers on the angst like gobs of shaving cream for a good bit of the book. It gets better though! And the part I’m at is The Better™ it’s the part that just makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and teehee~ your happy little way down Main Street with a basket of kittens.

Maybe? Could be just me. Of course only my eyes have pretty much been on this thing through the process which I’m pretty sure that’s not the best idea in the world.

I’m still finding some crazy amazing typos that I’m fairly certain occurred in my surface edit phase. These typos could not have possibly been in my proof… Unless I wasn’t reading carefully enough and that very well could be true. The latest really outstanding one was “There wasn’t the constant bombarding of noise of people to vying for his attention.” Say buh-huh? D: I totally fixed it but what. the. hell. Now that I’m really in it and nitpicking all of the tiny details and pretty much changing every sentence around I’m really noticing this stuff.

Once this stage is done I’m going to run off a final draft proof copy for one last read-through (and maybe hand it to my mother to try and get through. I’ll have to paperclip the naughty bits together. *snork*) And then after I’m sure I’m no longer embarrassed by it out into the brave world it goes. Of course by ordering the final draft proof I’m pretty sure that’s it. It’s done. Finito.

Reading the final draft is sure to be weird for me I think. I’ve read it so many times and technically I’m reading it again at current I wonder when I read the final draft if I’m going to see what I want to see or what’s really there. I think the only way to really solve this is let the book sit for three weeks to a month so I can forget all about it. Harhar. Fat chance with having the thing pretty much memorized cover to cover…. Even if I can never really remember how exactly the action scenes go down… Sort of. I just know the good parts. The warm fuzzy bits.

We like the warm fuzzy bits.

As an aside: Seik never really got scarier. He just drifted even more into Dark Hero Land. I guess it was meant to be. Oh Seik you little tragic darling~ I guess I need to keep a mental track of possible fandom teams. XD

Ironically, the latter half of the Act II Climax wasn’t so teeth pulling to edit. The Act II Climax is just really long. @_@ Chapter 24 itself became split into three chapters, a later chapter got split into two and the second half of it had a little extra plot stuff added in revolving around Everyone’s Favorite Gunnery Sergeant Vulcan. Hell, even I love Vulcan. When he swaggers into the scene I swear the Heavenly Choir bursts into joyful noises.

In splitting up chapters, swapping chapter order, and adding words I’m whittling down my word count. Even in adding a two pages and a half I had cut enough words later on not only to zero it out but even cut even more words than I added. And I’m only on Chapter 33 now and I’m on a freaking word slashing high. The first cuts early on were so hard and now I don’t even blink. I still do have moments of falling in love with a dandy bit of prose and it my trying to save it I suddenly realize it serves no purpose so SNIP. I feel a hint of remorse for hacking out a reference to Abraham Lincoln. It was clever. At least I thought so. But no didn’t need it! Away it went!

One of the tips I picked up which actually helped me a ton is to never state when a character feels something because it jerks the reader out of the scene and the character’s head.

For example:

John felt a sadness creep into his senses.

A possible edit could read:

Sadness crept across John’s senses.

Doesn’t that read so much different? Same message, totally different impression!

Another tip is to eliminate ‘almost’ and ‘somewhat.’ This is especially for me in my prose. Because how can a character ‘almost’ do most things or how can something ‘somewhat’ be something. It either is or it isn’t.

More Examples!

Ahimsa could almost hear the siren in the distance.

Ahimsa felt something like fear in the face of such a helpless situation.

Possible Edits:

Ahimsa concentrated on listening to the distant siren.

Ahimsa was terrified with the helpless situation.

Totally different, but the context is the same. Or within the context of a story to make it clearer. What if Ahimsa wasn’t really scared when things looked grim? Okay. Then that’s different. But what if I really meant for him to be afraid? This whole ‘something like fear’ just won’t do. Either he was afraid or he wasn’t. Save yourself some words and be direct. Don’t dance around what you’re trying to say with pretty words.

Look~ I have bestowed tips on writing. I feel like I finally have some knowledge worthy of imparting. I mean I found it elsewhere on the internet on other writers blogs before I could put it into practice. I’ve spent a good part of my days recently just looking up knowledge, facts, and figures… Sometimes not looking for anything in particular and I find something on some website I would otherwise have no reason to look at and found by random link clicking.

While I’m on an editing high, I think it’s time to do something else for today. Like draw. :>

Over the weekend I indeed managed to get some baking done and took a break from The Book™. Today around mid-afternoon I felt like I hadn’t done anything and it was now Tuesday but looking back on my accomplishments I managed four chapters in two days. So I am making a dent! I’m determined to make 50% at least by Thursday.

I’m lately having the problem in changing my weak, overused words into something stronger that I’m totally stumped to come up with something stronger that either One: doesn’t sound totally dry and academic or Two: doesn’t completely alter the meaning of the sentence. In one chapter I chose to leave in a scattering of a few overused words in Keira’s dialogue while I took them out of Seik’s. My reasoning for this Keira is supposed to sound young and teenagerly and now Seik has graduated to speaking like an extremely precise and formal German. As for the other cast members I find myself at a crossroads of yanking the ‘like’, ‘know’, ‘about’, etc. out of their dialogue or leaving it in for a more natural sounding conversation and instead yanking it out of the exposition. I’m pretty determined to eliminate ‘as’ from the entire story. You’d be surprised just by simply deleting it the sentence still makes sense and sounds better.

In lieu of ‘as’ I’ve been replacing it with the trio of words ‘then’, ‘while’, or ‘and’… I’m kind of wondering if you can never have too much ‘and’ but you can have far too much ‘as’. I’m nervous about it but I’m trusting the process.

I’ve finally gotten in my head if a scene is in one character’s point of view to keep track of their physical actions because if the character turns away how can he or she know when the other character is making a face or doing an action if they can’t see it? John and Ryan had one such exchange where I was absolutely in love with Ryan’s confrontational actions and snooty expressions but John was avoiding looking at him at all. So all that remained was Ryan’s dialogue and tone of voice as well as John’s dialogue and actions. It so changed a lot about the scene action wise but it was about the information being exchanged and definitely came across cleaner. I finally feel all my reading up on the subject of writing is finally paying off in practice. I feel like I actually know what I’m doing and might have a shot at this… Once I get through the mountain of rejection letters.

As for the title of this post is something of hilarious irony. You know as a writer the romance is totally gone with your book when you get to editing the super passionate, emotionally charged, steamy sex scene… And you start falling asleep. ……………oops.

To be fair I had that scene in particular put to paper at least two years ago and had been pretty much reworking it over time as the context changed. Now it doesn’t even remotely resemble the scene it used to be save with the setting and where the body parts go. I know the thing backwards, forwards, frontways, sideways, up, down, and all around. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve read it, tweaked it, reread it, put it away, dug it out again to pick off the usable parts.

Needless to say I’ve gotten pretty clinical in my head over the thing. Insert Tab into Slot B and wiggle till moist. I even worked it again to be even more emotionally charged and I was just propping my eyelids open with toothpicks.

I feel like the smut producer that totally sits on the sidelines writing his grocery list while his stars are getting hot and heavy. So desensitized to the whole thing. Or just that scene in question I think. I hope readers will still find it as OHEMGEE HEEHEE inducing as intended. I hope.