CheekyMF! Ramblings & Reviews

Finding Out…

2012-01-06T15:24:00.001-06:00

Thanks to Darwin Barton

Finding out that there was an opening at my company in Texas was the best thing that ever happened to me – I had been wanting to move back closer to home for the longest time and this just seemed like the perfect opportunity. I found a great house and looked into San Antonio electric company rates and all that and you know, I’m really looking forward to getting started and making a name for myself down there in The Alamo. I know my daughter loves being closer to her grandparents and my wife likes that it’s not as cold as it was up north. I’m just happy to be back in a familiar setting and to know that I can get a great burrito or tamale any time I leave my house! I think there’s something to be said for having achievable dreams and working towards those and that’s what I did at my company and with my life. I’ve got pretty much everything I could want now and I’m really happy to start this next chapter.

Traveling.

2012-01-02T15:30:00.000-06:00

Spent so much time traveling in recent memory that I can no longer recall standing still.

I've decided to slow down, take a step back, re-group maybe.

Just see if I can get my fucking head together.

Home.

2012-01-01T02:37:00.002-06:00

What does one do when no place feels like home to them anymore.

When they've fucked it all up beyond belief and everything they touch turns to shit.

How can one "get their life back on track" when the economy around them can't seem to...how does the individual stand a snowball's chance in hell?

Pain.

2011-05-04T16:25:00.005-05:00

I'm not unused to pain. I live with it constantly thanks to SUPERFoot. I know it's worst depths thanks to PCOS. Heaven knows I've willingly put myself through enough emotional pain for two lifetimes. Yet, here I sit and I feel absolutely paralyzed by it. Every sentence I seem to right comes off as childish and pedantic. I'm writing about things that matter to me, things I am utterly passionate about, but the passion seems hesitant to emerge.

Motivation buried behind some veil of hurt that shouldn't even matter as much as it does. Pain that the next person would be able to shove off without so much as a second thought. Seeds of thought.....delivered straight to my inbox--immediately spun into 350 word pieces in my head....and by the time I get the page loaded to input the text so passionately-crafted in my mind....it seems useless. Null and void of all worthwhile content. And then it's gone. Banished forever into the land of wind and ghosts.

All that's left an empty white box with a flashing cursor.

2011-05-03T18:24:00.000-05:00

Osama is dead.

This means the troops come home now, right?

Review: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip+Why it failed.

2011-04-20T15:31:00.004-05:00

I had a Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip marathon recently with Marctastic. Because that's what "writers" do. We sit around and watch shows to relax by watching people write. Swear to christ, you couldn't make this shit up. I write about a television show (Burn Notice), a couple of bands (Mindless Self Indulgence, Blues Traveler), and all of my asinine crap about losing weight and trying to become a more sexually well-rounded being.....and I relax with 22 hours of watching Ms. Chanandeler Bong stress about getting 90 minutes worth of funny on the air Friday night.

And I was entranced the entire fucking time. Between the die hard liberal beliefs of the aforementioned Ms. Bong and the way his character related to the right leaning Christian that he was in love/hate with for the entirety of his career as a decent television writer....

But the thing that killed the show, the thing that became glaringly obvious as the last few episodes of the show amounted to a mini-series about a POW Iraqi soldier, Aaron Sorkin was still entirely too hung up on politics to take on Hollywood. Still too mired in Iraq and a the religious divide brought on by the war that never-ended....and in that refusal to move on, a really good show was lost.

Don't get me wrong, I am a ginormous 30 Rock fan, and the fact that two shows essentially taking on Saturday Night Live while Saturday Night Live was still on the air spelled failure for at least one of them. 3 hours of network programming just cannot be dedicated to a single concept. Unless that concept is related to a huge amount of prize money. So Studio 60 lost the battle. Not because 30 Rock is necessarily a better show, truth be told, I couldn't be pressed to pick a hands down favorite between the two--but because Aaron Sorkin went with the war for the cold open. And then ran it to the ground for three episodes leading up to what was the series finale.

I hate that this war lasted longer than the three weeks we were expected to be in it back at the beginning. I hate so much more that we are still in Iraq, 5 years after Studio 60 has come and gone.....

I thought 30 Rock owned the whole "hard to watch" joke....but fucking hell, if Studio 60 didn't pull it on us a few years back.

2011-04-20T02:44:00.001-05:00

Call a spade a spade-this is rambling.

2011-04-13T16:08:00.004-05:00

I'm running on empty. My former employer, the lovely state of Texas has finally received the whopping 24.13 or so they overpaid me last year, so I will FINALLY, almost 12 months after filling out the paperwork to receive my 403b refund, be receiving it shortly. I've sent 2 money orders that got "lost"....took having someone receive it thru paypal and just hand the money to them for it to finally be dealt with.

Why they couldn't take a credit card payment.....just take the damn 24 bucks out of my big ass check that they've been holding back on me.....I don't know the answers to these questions....I just know that by this time next week, my freshly notarized request for whatever's left of my money after they invested with Madoff should be arriving in Austin.

And about three weeks after that, I can take this window shopping of cars into real life.

And get a car. And get the fuck away from LA. This place was fine for a minute, but having to live here without a car for almost five months now and I am pretty much disgusted with it....I've seen the seedy side of LA...and Brody was right, all I see are fucking dead wings.

I'm going back home and I don't regret any of it. I don't regret leaving because I was going fucking stir crazy there. I took a step away, realized the rest of the country is pretty much the same.......and the only reason I kept coming back to for not going home was the fact that weed remains illegal even for my legitimate medical reasons in Texas.

But you know what? If you get caught in Tarrant county with anything under 2 ounces, they ticket you and take away the sack. At an average cost of 50-80 for an ounce and that being the quantity that I normally purchase, I can be OK with taking that loss. Not that I anticipate getting caught with shit, because I don't do drugs! But ya know.......I could deal if I were ever to be placed in that hypothetical situation.

I don't feel uneasy about my decision to go home. I don't regret leaving or coming back. I'm glad I left and I'm glad I did it when I did. I couldn't imagine trying to settle down and play at adult life any longer without getting this shit out of my system. I've taken a year long vacation from adult hood, how many people can say that?

I've lived in Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver...I've stayed in certain states long enough to know that all I can handle is merely driving through them....and up until the recent months, I've had the ability to just pick up and leave when I felt like it....

Within 48 hours of deciding to go home, I found an apartment. One that I should have all paid for and ready to move into before we ever step foot out of LA.

I don't know up from down at this point, but I know I just gotta keep my shit together til we get home. I hear gas is way cheaper there.

It's not personal.

2011-04-06T18:48:00.001-05:00

It's never personal.

It's just business.

Even if you pour your heart & soul into it, that doesn't make it less "business".

It's still just fucking business.

100th Post.

2011-04-05T22:06:00.003-05:00

Next Stop: Fort Worth

Every success will be followed by a personal FAIL. KTHXBAI!

2011-04-02T14:10:00.001-05:00

In order to expand my portfolio of shit I do online that makes me cash, I've decided to take on some National Examiner titles. Last year I took on a local title and in all fairness, I made a tidy little bit on my words about Events in FW....but then I left Fort Worth and it seemed a bit asinine to try and review things that I was thousands of miles away from....so I stopped. And moved my online efforts into other areas.

Got with a recruitment manager and after a bit of back and forth, I now have three Examiner titles that I am extremely happy to be writing.

Except that the writings have thus far only gotten as far as the drafts folder in my cell phone's email client.

You see, my laptop is an HP. One that my mom bought in 05. Admittedly badass and purchased under my specific guidance, she kind of put the thing thru the fucking ringer before handing it down to me.

She eventually replaced it and bought a new AC adapter for it before giving it to me, but the AC adapter wasn't the problem, HP's have a quality issue when it comes to the DC portion of the jack attached to the fucking motherboard inside the comp. Requires a very skilled eye and hand to solder a $12 replacement piece in on top of it....and the labor runs about 120$.

The thing has been working by staying plugged in for 4 hours (charging intermittently as the jack loses and finds its connex), works for about an hour, but the other morning, when I woke up to an email saying that I had been given the three topics I wanted, she was dead.

And I can't seem to get Opera Mobile to mesh with the examiner pub tool. So until she's got power again, Cap'n! I'll just keep writing to the silent audience of my cell phone. (Fingers crossed for Monday!!)

Movie Review: Mystery Team

2011-03-30T13:45:00.005-05:00

(Disclaimer: This is re-posted from an earlier review with relevant text now being sponsored. Also, needs note, not sponsored in any way shape or form is my review of the film...just a relevant phrase!!! Winning!!!)

OK, so being a huge fan of the NBC show Community, I had to click on the Derrick Comedy Team (featuring one Donald Glover!!) flick, Mystery Team on Netflix.

Total win! So as to not spoil too much, this will be vague....what happens when the lil detective squad in your tiny little town grows up? And gets involved in solving a double homicide? Wha? Wha? WHAAAAA? I know right!

And the ender ender? Aubrey Plaza.

Her character grew up wanting to be a forensic pathologist. While the interest in being Abby faded before she could pursue a
forensic science education, it's enough of a starting point for a character (Glover) whose interest in girls seemed to have...well...been stunted.

Great flick, the laughs come hard & fast at the beginning at let the heart take over somewhere in the end. Definitely a great flick and worth the time to watch!

My theory on depression...

2011-03-23T15:39:00.000-05:00

Or shall I say hyposthesis with myself as the test subject. Not exactly prize winning scientific study here, but "you go to war with the army you have, not the army you want to have." (D. Rumsfield)

My thoughts are that if I recognize that I suddenly feel like I am waking up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I'm hostile at the drop of a dime. I want to cry when I'm not otherwise engaged in picking fights. My insomnia is in full swing, my mind won't slow down about the most inane things. And I have an overwhelming notion that if I were to drop dead of a heart attack or blood clot in the next 2 minutes, shit happens and people die. Que sera, sera, I suppose.

I'd say I'm depressed. Now if the first step to fixing a problem is identifying it, I should be well on my way.

Oh, and if you haven't caught on yet, I'm choosing to take an approach that likens depression to addiction.

If I am aware of my depression and I can find its root cause, I can attack it at the source. Meds to treat the symptoms are nice, but do nothing to heal, simply mask the problem.

The obvious answer here is to pull a charlie sheen. I shall blink and cure my ailment. Here we go.

Nope, still numb.

Perhaps a fake smile, some Mary Kay Place on SNL style Pep....I'll give fake it til you make it a go for a day or two and see where it lies....

I know enough about my body to know that I'm not chemically depressed...this is not physiological and is merely psychological.

I broke something in me, now I gotta trot out the service vehicle while I put the inner me up on the lift and stare at her with a wrench in my hand. I'll come up with something to fix me...the answer's gotta be around here somewhere.

I may download television but I still do pay for it!

2011-03-22T02:12:00.000-05:00

Um. I don't know how to put this one out there other than to just type it really quickly...

I pirate television.

There. I said it. Can't very well take it back now. I do feel justified in it. I'm one of those people who has spent ridiculous amounts on buying television shows on DVD. I maintain an 8 dollar a month subscription to Hulu Plus. Oh, and technically my 'rent' goes towards the overall satellite bill for this place. I've paid my dues.

And I always harken back to the ole' if you've paid for something once, downloading a replacement copy is justifiable....

I'm also one of those types that is horrible on anything that is susceptible to being scratched. In an interest of being a halfway decent driver, my CD's are regularly scattered across the passenger seat of any car I've ever driven. As a result, 'slob fate' determines pretty much every music choice I ever make. (For about a month and a half straight the only thing I listened to was Blues Traveler's Cover Yourself. Swear to jeebus, everytime I picked up a CD from my passenger seat, that was the one on top...funny enough, at the end of that run, I woke up to a voicemail from J. Popper himself. Story for another day, I suppose.)

And I end up buying about 3 copies of every fucking CD I ever like. Until Napster. I still bought CD's...truth be told I still spend money in actual record stores. Fucking shocking, I know....but I have downloaded my fair share of stuff I just refuse to keep purchasing when I've paid for it before.

Same for movies and TV.

And I've even been the lucky recipient of one of those 'C&D' letters. From 20th Century Fox. Over a fucking King of the Hill episode. A show that I have bought season after season of...watched endlessly on television...sat thru hours of commercials to see...hell, I'm watching a commercial for a Motorola Tablet right now...in the middle of...dun dun dun da....King of the Fucking Hill.

I download my television now....but I still pay for it in a myriad of other ways....why does that make me the enemy of the industry?

A distraction-by way of demotivational posters

2011-03-21T14:17:00.003-05:00

To be blunt, don't feel like talking about anything real here, so today, I made some funny pictures. One is a cold, perhaps insensitive picture of a very heroic moment...but still. Funny as fuck. Oh, and my thoughts on pirating television later on! Stay Tuned, you know you fucking wanna....

This thing used to have a title

2011-03-15T17:25:00.002-05:00

I have no idea what to say here.

I wrote a bunch of shit out. I'm told I looked even more stressed after I had just hit the last keystroke so I've now sent it off to the land of wind & ghosts.

On February 14th, I celebrated my 5th & 10th anniversary with my husband. The last decade was wrought with lies on both sides, infidelities, both physical and emotional, breakups, separate apartments and at the end of the day and unflinching knowledge that we both fought so hard to overcome all of it because at the heart of it all, we do love each other.

We still do. Chances are likely that we'll never not. But we've decided to stop facing countless battles in years to come over trying to prove that love enough is all it takes to over come very real problems.

He loves marathon sex, I'm of the short & sweet variety.

He likes me to talk dirty, I like to be gagged.

He likes wild & crazy threesomes, foursomes & more somes, I prefer to be with one person at a time.

At the end of the day, he was willing to go the extra mile for me in almost every key area I needed him to, but I couldn't get myself to the level he needed me to be sexually.

And in all fairness, this morning when I woke up, I thought we were ending things for a different reason.

I thought it came down to honesty.

A few hours. Some meaningful discussion and here it is world, I'm single because I couldn't see my way to satisfying my husband myself...or relenting and bringing someone else in to do it for me.

I don't disagree. I didn't come at my marriage with a "by any means necessary" attitude. God damn it, I did for years, but that fire to keep my man even if it meant gagging until I couldn't see straight....the oil ran out.

I love him. I want him to be happy with someone that is on par with him in any area of his life that is a major area of his life. Our sex drives aren't even close to similar and they never will be...he deserves to be with someone who can make him happy in the physical sense. Who will go that extra mile in every area to "keep her man happy".

I've tried like hell in the past and I can't even get a solid answer that I've ever been able to be "on par". (noted exception: when I'm drunk. ask around. I turn into S. Woww Tittybangs over here.)

So in the interest of being happy, we've decided to stop throwing good money after bad.

We make great friends. We do. When we're not liable for putting each other as our highest priority every second of the day, we actually do tend to do the right thing by each other. When it isn't something that has to be done-something done simply because we do give a shit about each other, we're a lot better off.

My take on the Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church

2011-03-11T14:21:00.004-06:00

Was having a conversation about the Phelps' family the other day and came across a serious disconnect during it.

For those who don't know, my mom's family is Pikey. Originally from Colorado City, Texas (Pikey-land), they were roofers, always chasing the last big storm across the country and never settling anywhere.

Yet they were always able to find these teeny, tiny little baptist churches, sometimes hosted out of mobile homes, some times not even Baptist at all, but more the snake-charmin', tongues-speakin' Assemblies of God variety.

Being that my grandparent's favorite past time was teaching their grandkids to play various instruments and learn some damn religious songs, a frequent weekend activity was going to these churches and singing and playing some hymns with the family. We were the white trash Osmonds. Yep, I'll own it. Personally, I played the fucking fiddle. Yep, the fiddle.

Because of those experiences, I've had the opportunity to get hit with a switch by an old ass man I've never met before because I said the word "Hate".

And I've seen exactly how far some of these people in those small Texas towns will go when someone uses the name of the Lord, their God in vain.

Now, I've also seen the undying respect these people have for the men and women who serve the country that their God has told them to respect.

I've seen how they treat their American flags. Hell, these are the people who instilled in me the proper way to fold an American flag.

The Westboro Baptist Church and the Phelps family are frequently known for what now?
-Picketing with signs that openly use the word 'Hate'.
-Using God's name in front of that vile word, one that ranks up there with 'Fool' as far as what God's people are supposed to not say.
-They picket the funerals of soldiers on the basis that the soldiers died because we are a sinning nation who supports homosexuality. (If anything, isn't the DOD the last hold out for doing anything even remotely resembling being "supportive" of homosexuality?)
-They openly desecrate American flags.

I understand that this church has somehow continued to gain followers and notoriety, this country will always maintain a certain percentage of people who are disenfranchised and will latch on.

And I am sure there are people who feel so strongly in their views on homosexuality that it's only natural that they would latch onto WBC's views.

And I am sure that there are some in the "Baptist off-shoot" category who fall in line with the beliefs of the WBC....

But on the whole, doesn't their mode of delivery make them condemnable by even the most out there of Baptists?

They use the word hate with an ease and efficiency that would make even the most outspoken of preachers blush. They disrespect this country and those who lose their lives in it's name.

My question is, when are Baptists, as a whole, the southern baptists, the more liberal "northern" Baptists, the crazies in the trailers every Sunday with the beans & cornbread after the sermon, when are they going to stand up and take offense to the bastardization of their good name? Their God?

When are they going to stand up and say, yes, we believe homosexuality is a sin, but our God gave us free will so that we may find our way to the light.

One receives the gift of salvation because they were willing to toss worldly things aside and follow the righteous path.

The Phelps family claims righteousness but practices hypocrisy in their every move. It's just my opinion, but if I were a Baptist, I would go to any length to at least stop them from unleashing their brand of vile speech in the name of my God.

I'm all for free speech, but don't they at least have that 'Baptist' shit trademarked?

(Here's where I keep myself out of trouble. Born Catholic-Never Confirmed. Schooled Protestant-Never saved. Spent many Sundays in Baptist Churches-Never Saved. Was Wiccan for a week-Never joined a fucking coven or anything like that though. LMFAO! Hindu for a week. Islam for a week-daddy didn't see that one coming. Atheist until science proves the existent of something more than our selves. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Oh, and I've read the Bible. A lot. In several different...shall we call them styles, then?)

CheekyMF-Diagnosis Sexlexic!

2011-03-08T17:34:00.002-06:00

I've started a new blog called Sexlexic!

As it's defined in an episode of the Almighty Futurama, it's a very sexy learning disability.

What it means to me is I grew up Catholic and was schooled Protestant. Sex was bad, mmmk?

But I married someone who didn't view it like that.

And our relationship got dragged thru hell trying to compromise between our two wildly different libidos and our...shall we say, not quite eye-to-eye views on monogamy.

After a decade of trying, I finally figured out the secret. If you won't suck yo' man's dick, there is a raggedy bitch out there who will! (Links not sponsored, just some red flags if ya see these on your browser history.)

Anyway, I tried to learn by watching porn. That failed. Can't learn something from someone who lost their gag reflex before they could legally drink.

I tried by reading How-To's & Cosmo. And that shit was dated and really lies on the play it safe side of the sexual world. Plus that twist thing they've been hyping for years, really hurts the wrist.

I culled all I've learned into this one blog. It's early right now, mostly just some intro stuff.

And it could maybe kind of be TMI.

But it could also be kind of useful if those of you who know me IRL take the fact that I, myself wrote it. (LOL. No mental images please I guess is what I'm trying to say!)

You can click on Sexlexic! or use one of my handy dandy buttons on the side. It is marked as adult content, you've been warned!

Google Before You Tweet

2011-03-08T02:53:00.002-06:00

(Joe Newton)
Also, not sponsored, just think its badass and I want.

Kidd Kraddick Steals Tweets much like Radio Bits!!

2011-03-07T21:58:00.009-06:00

OK, so there isn't exactly an arseload of information easily accessible on the intarwebs about this topic anymore, or I would leave you with all sorts of links backing up my claim, but do trust, while he may not steal bits word for word, he is guilty of following everyone else's lead as far as "original" content for his Dallas-based syndicated morning show goes.

As far as the stealing tweets thing, I have fallen victim to his content-theft! In an oh-so-devious way.

The other day I posted a tweet vaguely taking a jab at the man. I was looking at random stuff online and came across something about the Kidd Kraddick show in some place, well other than Dallas. Which led me to Wiki, which led me to the discovery that the show is syndicated.

Now, call me naive, but honestly I haven't listened to the show since my mom moved onto her new college life and my dad became the de facto driver for my commute to school and back home every day. As of the age of 10, we listened to say, Howard Stern in the morning and Russ Martin in the afternoon. KISS 106.1 and Kidd Kraddick's bouts of suddenly bursting into tears on air were a distant memory that when given the choice I had no desire to inflict upon myself.

The stereo-typical guy and a chick chit-chattin about life, cue the token "black dude"...and let's not forget to brighten up some random kid's life by giving him *insert "special" device here*, and then being sure WFAA is there to catch it all on tape so we look like we're selfless, but really, we just like the free advertising...it wore thin on me. And I was just a kid. I had no reason to know that the show was syndicated, having not been a regular listener or anything like that.

When I found out, I took my astonishment to the Twitterverse:

Just in case I wasn't clear enough, I followed up with this guy:

I know sarcasm doesn't travel well through text, but if you add a few key words, you can generally display your displeasure with something, while not being a complete ass.

I used a few key words, and when I awoke this morning, I found that none other than @KiddKraddick himself had taken those few words that made the distinction between a negative tweet about his show and a positive tweet out, leaving only a shocking revelation that a possible "fan" had missed out on her fav show ever while crossing the country.

See for yourself:

and shared that revelation with his Twitter followers.

I feel violated. The point of Re-Tweeting someone's thoughts is to convey to your followers that original person's thought, not to re-work the tweet until it says what you need it to say.

Taking out "craziness", "ever" and "damn" made this Kidd Kraddick's thought, not mine. And I'm not a fan of having words put into my mouth. Also, just as a note for Kidd, don't you think you're regular listeners & fans would actually know you're syndicated? Why would someone who likes your show express surprise at this seemingly old fact?

#RussMartin FTW, btw.

I am the face of the New Homeless in America

2011-03-06T14:05:00.003-06:00

There is something that I have hidden from pretty much everyone in my life. I've technically been homeless for 23 months.

It started in 2009. About 60 days before I broke my foot, we were priced out of & subsequently evicted from our apartment. In an attempt to just try to maintain a place to live, I had worked out with the complex manager that she would give me a bit of slack by not putting the eviction on my credit record immediately and give me enough time to find a place.

She thought she did, but she didn't give it enough time and as a result, we had to take up residence with a relative who hated us being there as much as we hated it. She gave us 1 month to get our shit together and move out. She did not give a shit where we went, but that was all she was down for.

My job was still at part time, wouldn't be transitioning to full time until the end of May...

So we started rocking the hotel life. A Motel 6 would have seemed luxurious in comparison to the skeevy places we stayed. There was one in west side that we had to go downstairs & tell the manager (phone didn't work! Shocking!), when you wanted to take a shower.

Don't get me started on the place on jksbro that took my precious intact foot away from me.

At this point, the family member that we had originally stayed with offered us a rental property that she owned that we could stay in for 500/mth. With the caveat that we fix the place up. I mean really fix. It had been used for mojo workers and the place was a mess. 'Puta' spray painted on the back of the door, the place was in fucking shambles. And I had a broken foot and was in a wheelchair. So add being needy on top of useless. When the work was too slow going, we were asked to leave. (Oh, and the bitch sued me for the work my man actually did...pulled out seriously moldy carpets to try and re-finish the surprisingly well preserved original wood flooring, replaced the motherfucking toilet, got a new AC unit for the place. Seriously, sued!)

We ended up back in hotels. Shockingly, both of us had managed to maintain jobs regardless of my having to use all of my sick time right off the bat, we were holding it together.

We had another family member who had relocated a year earlier and still had their house on the market. We negotiated us renting the house, it was a bit steep of a price for us, but with me working full time again and my man's hours increasing as well, we figured we would make it work by scrimping everywhere else, but with the eviction on our record, it's not like we were flush with available housing options. Even the shittiest of complexes in FW had switched away from 'evictions OK but only cause we're ghetto as fuck and you will get robbed a least twice living here' to 'good credit only and best believe you need an extra g for deposit'. After having lost our lunch over the past few months just losing deposits and app fees via us being honest and the apartment managers not being truthful about our chances.

I'm sorry, but it seems to me that if I'm going to have the decency to explain my credit issue to you, please have the decency to not lie to my face just so your complex has some free money at the end of the day.

So we went with the deal that we were barely going to be able to afford. And a month and a half in, my man lost his job. I was able to keep up with things by 'creatively' budgeting everything else in our lives for another month, but we were screwed at that point.

That would be when I, in a desperate moment, applied for a payday loan. And another. And another. Until I replaced the amount he had been adding to the rent pot, then I paid the landlord. It was innocent enough, I swear. I genuinely thought he would be able to find a job quick enough that I wouldn't miss the refinance fees.

I hadn't counted on the stress of this whole ordeal sinking him into a very deep depression. He did finally find a job, but by that time, we were in so over our heads that there was literally no light coming in from the other side.

Our relationship was showing the stress and around April of last year. About 2 weeks before my birthday, I got dumped.

And three weeks after that, I got laid off. Any hope of getting out of arrears with our landlords had slipped away. And I cracked.

I knew by the end of the month, we would yet again be without a place. I'd have to make the decision between staying in a decent, fairly priced motel that meant I would have to take my dog to stay with my cousin, or a dog-friendly shit heap.

I had a car.

I didn't have a relationship, but we were still talking and fucking.

Out of the blue one day, I just announced that I was leaving and he could come with if he wanted. I didn't know where I was going, but with the money I was making freelancing, I knew that I would be able to survive day to day life.

SO we left, we've mended our relationship, but I'd be lying if I said it's a happily ever after type tale. We're still surviving the day to day on what I make, but we're still homeless.

We may have a bed to sleep in at night and a warm shower at our beck and call, but at this point, we are homeless, sans car and for all intents and purposes going to continue on this track until one of us manages to find full time employment. Ya know, the kind that comes with a reasonable paycheck every few weeks.

Once we get there, I still don't know how in the hell we're going to get an apartment without forking over half our lease worth of rent before we ever move in. Our society makes it very easy to fuck up your credit over something that only came to be because of the gentrification of the neighborhood. The landlords were actively trying to rid the complex of it's residents in order to capitalize on the young blood coming into the cultural area of the city.

I know we weren't the only people who ended our relationship with that company with a permanent black mark on our credit reports.

I can't say how their tales turned out. If there is any fairness and justice in this world, they were able to move on.

All I know for sure is this:

"It will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."-Unknown

2011-03-05T17:42:00.004-06:00

I'm in the midst of this weight loss journey.

Smack dab in the center of building a new life for myself and my marctastic and our amazing pup.

And it's hard as hell. Trying to keep all these balls in the air. Getting jobs. Looking for (dog-friendly) apartments in our budget.

Working my ass off on freelancing gigs.

I've let the ball drop. I got de-railed. I gained. And I didn't do anything about it. And now I'm holding myself accountable by putting my shit all out there and in the open. I am a fatass and I am working to no longer be one.

My Half-Assed Weight Loss Attempt!

I'm also working on a Sex blog!! No links for that yet...it's not ready for discerning eyes in it's current embryonic state.

Someone once told me that if you don't want one job...if you don't want to show up and report to that "man" every day of your life. If you want to be in control of your life and your choices, you've got to be willing to put on 20 different hats during the day. Your resume will be a mile long, but if you did it right, you'll have ten times the number of people willing to speak to your awesomeness. OK. The awesomeness might have been my addition to an otherwise eloquent, thoughtful comment on my finding myself having lost a job due not to my performance but due to budgetary issues that were solved not by my employer, but by those in Austin.

I resolved to not be reliant on one paycheck to get me through. I worked my ass off to be able to support myself and my family...And hell, we've gone on this amazing cross country trip and have now settled in the sunniest of lands...

And we're still doing OK. We have a roof over our heads. Food. Amazing California Chronic.

So I've mastered the 20 jobs thing.

Now to do it while shedding some weight.

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The Office

2011-03-01T23:00:00.003-06:00

The Office is a show that I have a love/hate relationship. Love in that, I adore the American version and hate in that, I sometimes love and sometimes abhor the English version.

It's not the show's fault really, I do like Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant is the bee's knees...

My problem lies in this...even after spending plenty of time working for an English office. And even after getting to a point where I could clearly and concisely understand exactly what all of my Americanized English co-workers and all of the employees in the English office...I can't fucking get through an episode without having to go back several times just to understand wtf is going on.

This is an issue because I suffer from the same problem as a lot of people my age, I don't watch shit on TV anymore. I watch it on the oh-so-awesome Hulu.

Again, usually not an issue-but for some godforsaken reason, no one bothered to check that the Office UK is subtitled. I shit you not. You can go check now, seriously, here's a fully loaded episode and everything. I'll wait.

Even with the John Oliver voice over that we all lovingly remember that appeared before the show anytime it aired on BBC...no subtitles.

Until that situation gets remedied, I refuse to watch. You heard me right. I'm refusing to watch a show that has been off the air for several years now. Way to take a stand!

Anyway, said all that to say this:
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WORD UP!!

2011-03-01T22:40:00.004-06:00

It would seem that Cameo's (major) hit 'Word Up' turns 25 this year. The video, featured above, is a rousing mix of very well choreographed dance moves.....and more blue lights than one's eyes can really take in.

All with LeVar Burton. The awesome, magnificent Geordi La Forge. In a trench coat. With some of the sharpest dance moves I've seen....well ever. Not big into watching dancing. Just not a past time of mine. Meh.

Anyway, well the point of this (other than to ramble on about how cool the Reading Rainbow cat is), was to introduce this....

(Let me preface by saying it's been around forever, but too awesome not to post)

This is the German band "The BossHoss" doing a most awesome country-fried version of the Cameo classic.

With more of a twang that anyone ever I've known to have in Texas. Score.

Madness set in by lack of iPhone...

2011-03-01T17:07:00.002-06:00

So I have this iPhone. It's a hand me down from my mom, (trying like hell to just not be on a contract anymore....still rocking the same contract that came with the first cell phone. A decade ago. Seriously. They own my ass.)

The last time I was in Texas for about a week and a half, my mom said that she would give it to me if I came to Arkansas, but that she wouldn't be able to get it to me before it was time for me to leave Texas if she had to mail it. Fair enough. I left at 5pm on a Friday. I drove until around 10 that night, made it as far as my Aunt's house near Muskogee and ended up crashing there for the night. (Cos I suck at seeing past the headlights, ya'll!) Made it to Arkansas the next morning....and she had just gotten back from the Verizon store where she had found out that her Droid badassery would take a week or so to come in.

She sent me on my way, sans iPhone with a promise to drop it in the mail as soon as she could. When that time came, I was on the road, doing the usual staying at a cheap motel in a random road-stop town, I asked her to send it to my bestie in Texas and then I would have her send it to me.

I'm a broke ass, or rather this trip has left me as a perma-broke ass, so I haven't had her send it to me yet, but it should finally be on it's way by the end of the week.

In the meantime, I'm driving myself nuts over apps. There are so many that I have wanted, but there was no Windows Mobile Smartphone equivalent. Probably cos Windows Mobile Smartphones are for suckers. Don't get me wrong, I am on my second generation of Samsung BlackJacks. I love the full keyboard, I love damn near everything about it. Except for the following:

Cannot connect to Windows Vista (Come on guys, same fucking company!)
"You are not authorized to commit this action" (Really?! Pretty sure paying the bill gives me that authorization!)
Every version of Windows Mobile released=new software download time.

I loved my BJ (Tee hee!), loved it! Currently it is a $110/month piece of shiny plastic, but it used to be quite nifty. I just never felt that I got the software that I really wanted/that the phone was capable of utilizing. Real disappointment. Hopefully once I get all the apps I want on my iPhone, it will be the fulfilling gadgetry I've been searching for all these years.

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