After reading the book, New Moon Astrology, by Jan Spiller, I’ve been practicing making wishes within the 8 hour period of the New Moon. Since this new Moon in Virgo is here to help me to more know myself and “belong” or “embody” myself, I thought I would make some wishes.

“I want to find myself easily embodying my greatness, or my higher self. I want to easily find myself letting go of those aspects of my ego that get in the way of this higher self in my relationships, and the self-talk about future possibilities for my life, work, and relationships.”

“I want to find myself letting go of expectations, attachments, or patterns that no longer serve me, so that I can discover my life as I co-create it – allowing for more celebration of life rather than evaluation of life.”

What are your wishes on this New Moon?

One of the fun aspects of doing a personalized learning journey, like the one I’m going into with regard to personal coaching, is the ability to give myself assignments.

Now, I’m sure many of you reading are saying, “What!? GIVE yourself an assignment? Isn’t life busy enough, and won’t that weigh you down?”

Well my dear readers, assignments you give yourself can be fun, so long as you give yourself fun assignments, and let your interests and “what’s emerging” in you be your guide – not someone else’s “story” or needs.

One of the principles that Julia Stewart talks about in her Free Coaching Class in one of the Coaching Groundwork classes is Curiosity. So I thought I would share with you what I call a “visual report” about “What am I Curious About?”. The photos included are all my own, and hopefully they give you a peek into some of my creative process and inquiry.

So, what are YOU curious about?

Nicole Lynskey, Grif Sadow, and Beth Wallace (pictured left to right) host a monthly Coaching Salon in Minneapolis at the Dunn Brothers Coffee Shop next to Loring Park. It’s a fun and safe way for folks to learn about coaching and try it out for the first time. And it’s FREE!

I was first very impressed by their professionalism and caring, as even in this fun introductory meeting, Beth Wallace emphasized a mutual agreement of confidentiality with regard to the participants and the possible situations they would be coached. With that said, I do want to share some wonderful observations about their coaching styles, as they were all just incredibly talented!

Each of them incorporated some kind of “physical movement or exercise” into their coaching sessions. Whether it was getting up out of chairs and moving to another area in the room to envision a more supportive living environment, having a client take deep breaths and scan their body to find where their situation might be “held” , or asking someone to place their hand on their heart, and then speak ideas that their heart would tell them – each of these exercises seemed to ground each “client” in the present.

I also liked how each coach really put their own personality into their coaching.

Nicole Lynskey seemed to reflect her connection with nature and landscapes by asking questions like “What do you see as the ‘path’ from here to there?” and was just wonderfully and positively goal oriented.

Grif Sadow (who coached me), gave a lot of permission for me to feel the feelings I had, and had a very bold spirit that helped me not make excuses or limit my experience. He coached me to a point where I said “I want to have a party now!” and we both tore up paper to make confetti and threw it in the air! Awesome!

Beth Wallace was a natural and compassionate listener! She was a textbook example in my opinion of Julia Stewart‘s principle of “Priming the Pump” - while keeping connected to deep listening. She made a great insight with a client = “You really do know where you are right now. You just don’t like it.” Which was a bold statment that validated unspoken aspects of what her client was seeking coaching.

What an exciting night! This is probably a great way for coaches to network and attract new potential clients. Something else that illustrates “The Power of Free” (I think I’ll be putting This Book on my reading list soon too!)

I may go next month just to watch again!

This class was about Priming the Pump – allowing for silences and pauses within the rising energy between you and a client, so that the silence too can propel them to sharing more. It was also about Building a Scaffolding – preparing and guiding others through resources, tools, strategies, be they physical or behavioral.

I have to say – my assignments are piling up! LOL. As a web designer, I’m gravely in need of putting up a resource list or “Scaffolding” for my clients and potential clients. I also constantly need to assess and collect my own Scaffolding of resources and tools so that I can both support my clients and support my own self-development and even personal and emotional needs.

I’ll be putting up my “assignments” for this class soon, so you can read more in detail, but I just wanted to get this blog post up sooner! I need to develop a resource page too on my own web stie – http://www.holisticgeek.com/

There’s also another lesson I learned in this class, and it was something that Julia said to one of the other students (I’m paraphrasing again):

“I can’t help but notice the lightness in your voice when you talk about this past situation that was probably painful for you. That lightness can be powerful, and will most likely attract people to you.”

So, for the last three days maybe, I’ve taken this to heart in my conversations with others, and when I speak and interact with others, whether it’s a client, my partner, a friend, or even maybe someone whom I’m having a conflict. My partner started noticing right away.

“Did something change or shift with you, Scott?”

I have to admit, I’m laughing and smiling more, and other things in life that might have troubled me, and I might have shown them more outwardly, seem to be “lighter.” It really makes me wonder..

How much does our language and speech affect our emotional health – or even physical health? If we choose to be lighter in our speech and attitudes about situations or small conflict, how can that change how we navigate through these tough times?

For me, I’m finding myself not dwelling in hurt feelings or “the mud” of conflict by reminding myself of this “lightness” of voice and thought. Instead, I’ve been able to voice my needs better, and try to keep conflict more on track to positive outcomes.

I “fired” one of my clients this week, and I think that I showed a lot of restraint from going into “the story” with them and focusing on keeping the momentum going in a professional way, and offering up ways to make the new arrangement a positive one, because in the past we were both not getting our needs met with one another. And of coarse, I’m learning that even through getting my own needs met, setting good and healthy boundaries, etc, that others may or may not enjoy the boundary setting, and that their reactions are of their choosing, or perhaps a result of “living in their stories” too.

I think that the great value for me thus far with the Coaching Groundwork Class is that I’m learning tools for myself too in getting my own needs met and for maintaining and establishing healthy relationships and boundaries with clients and friends. I’m even enjoying my favorite clients and friends even more now. There’s a bit of a “shedding of old skin” that I’m going through, and Julia’s insights and principles are helping me to explore new ideas and ways of thinking.

I say Yippee!

We talked about how I was taking a coaching course, and he encouraged me to check out the school he went to and look into their coaching certification class (which it might be fun to check out – but part of me is not very interested in re-joining academia for one institution’s approach).

We started talking about Mission Statement, Goals, Objectives, etc. – and a huge statement just flew out of my mouth, and I had to write it down.

“I don’t think I’m interested in the conventional Mission-Objectives-Goals-Criterion-Evaluation model of business development and coaching. I would much rather help people to find the patterns and insights around the edges of chaos and resistance, so that they could more clearly see ‘what is emerging’ in them, so that they can DISCOVER their life instead of just planning it.”

Wow, where did that come from??!

I’ve always been interested in those moments where you hear “audacious statements” that people make – those times where their passion is engaged, and gems of wisdom and discovery just flow out of their normal everyday speech.

My friend was silent for a while, and later he said, “Yeah you should check out the program, but I think you might butt heads with the director!”

We both had good laugh when I said, “Well when is that a new thing with me?”

My friend has loaned me his coaching books from a class he took, so I’m very excited to read some supplemental information while I take my class.

On Thursday next week, I’m also attending a “Coaching Salon” at a coffee shop in my neighborhood.

My journey is gaining momentum and richness already!

Our “Story” is what we make up about the “stuff” in our lives. We choose to live in our stories, but really, they are “made up” and they aren’t true.

Whoa! This statement came to me at a time where I think I needed it most!
(Julia, are you running a coaching class or are you coaching me?!)

My partner and I got into a big fight, and I’m really figuring out that right now I’ve been starting arguments because when I don’t think my feelings are validated, I start lashing out from behind a “story” about either myself, the situation, or past events. Just a big “wow moment” for me, realizing that I can really get caught in “my story” that lives in my ego, and can prohibit me from just simply expressing what I may need in the moment.

I’ve been keeping a private online journal in Evernote since last April, and today, my journal was my friend. I decided to curl up with it today and “put on a bigger antenna” and look at issues I see “in my story.”

I would write things like, “In my story, my friend A. is connected to living in a small town and small town values, and is much like another friend or family member (of my story), which I had a ton of conflict. In my story, I remember being isolated and sometimes teased by classmates in this small town who would go out and drink beer (in my story), just like my friend A. does. My friend A. eats meat and (in my story) she corrupted the person I’m in a relationship with to start eating meat, and (in my story) I believe she did that to spite me!”

Ok Scott! Step back! Take a look at this story you created!

Was it ever true?
What ways did you know it was true?
Could these be made up from perhaps one or two instances?
How do you know that you “know these things” about your friend A. or about other people?
(Poor A. – I just wrote her as a villain in my story!)
How do you know that their actions were intentional, or meant to harm you?

It was a good exercise for me to put in the words “in my story” into my journal entry, so that I could look at things from an objective standpoint. These things in fact are not happening to me now, but they are still happening “in my story” that I’ve made up and held onto.

So after writing a lot more, I gave myself even more questions in my journal that I’ll need to answer sometime.

So how can you move on now, knowing about the story and how it affects you?
What could you do differently?
What do you think started this story?
Are there times “in your story” that you triumphed or succeeded through the perceived “victimization”?
Could you do that again?

The other “aha-moment” was when Julia mentioned that a good coach really needs to spend a large amount of time on their own self-development, and you should be about one or two steps ahead of your clients in your own self-development.

I consider this course to be a large “self-development project” right now, but I’m also making some lists again and taking notes about other things I’m wanting to keep developing. I’m also a classically trained Tenor and have been singing since I was about 13 years old. Singing is a HUGE self-development skill-talent-endeavor that I have, so I’ll have to find a few more ways to add this to the mix.

The classes keep getting better! I’m learning a lot about myself too!

I’m so glad that I listened to this first 2-hour class again, and as they say in show business, “This time with more feeling.”  I also gave myself the assignment of creating my own introduction and to answer the questions asked of the participants in the recording:

• Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
• Why is Coaching important?
• Why might it be important to the world?
• What kinds of clients do you think you might work with?  or Who might choose you?

So, apart from the PDF introduction about me, I really took away vast amounts of insight and information from just this first class. 

I’m anxious to continue to learn about the participants in the recording, Crystal and Charlene.  Throughout the class, they made some very profound statements with regard to the journey they are on (and the journey that I’m also on with this course):

“I’m looking for Clarity.  I don’t know what I need to know,” was such a truthful statement!
“You don’t find a nitche, it finds YOU”

Specialty is “helpful” – attract people in your immediate community first.
Have a desire to be of service to people if you are looking to coaching.
We look for people who are positively willing to make changes – work toward something positive rather than fixing something that’s wrong.

Your habitat/environment can change you!  You can design it in a way that helps you grow!

We live in a world of rapid change – people, culture, technology – changes the way we see ourselves and our world – and we no longer have the same divisions of borders, nationality, etc. – How do we navigate constant chaotic chage? how do we move forward through new paradigms as our world changes?  Are we ready to be in the world in this new way?  Many are ready but don’t know it yet.

“I’m doing everything I was told to do.  Why am I not happy? sucessful? etc..”

We create a bunch of stuff we don’t want after we do everything we’re told or expected to do.  Coaches help people identify “What they really want.”

“You want to succeed?  Fail more!”

I also found the first two principles and the practice to be valuable to me in my own interactions with others.  I was thinking originally that I’d have to find a study and practice partner (which I may do anyway) – but over the last 2-3 days, I found myself easily integrating the concepts of “It’s all About Them” and “Constantly Validate” into much of my day to day communication with my partner and friends.

I’m saying “Wow,” “Ok,” “That’s True,” etc a lot more lately, and really trying not to put my own evaluation onto another person’s offering of what they’ve spoken.  Even today, a friend of mine was saying how they’ve felt a big shift in their attitude.  I caught myself after I said, “Ah!  So positive changes!  Tell me how that’s come about for you!” “Ok.  You’re setting small and achievable goals.  What are your first steps?”

I have to say too, that I’m enjoying these conversations a lot more with friends while I’m doing this!  It feels very natural, and it does seem to propel the conversation along faster too.  One of the things I heard Julia say in this first class was “If you aren’t enjoying your clients, then you shouldn’t be coaching them.” I think too, that even with friends and family, we might also need to have the intention of just simply enjoying our conversations with one another.

Ok!  Breakthrough!  Here’s a good question (I’m all about questions!):

If we learned to simply enjoy our conversations with others, what might happen?  What could change?

Back in the early 1990s I was a volunteer crisis counselor, and while a lot of the skills are somewhat transferable, I like the “subtle coaching difference.”  Instead of saying “You sound frustrated” (A feeling reflection), a simple validation like “That’s frustrating” or “That’s hard, yeah” seems to have a more positive and propelling energy to me, and it keeps it from becoming too “counselor speak” for lack of a better phrase.

I’m sure that both approaches have their place (like maybe diffusing crisis vs. engaging another person to find their own answers), but I’m starting to see this as a “Version 2.o” of the communication skills I was taught so long ago.

All in all, I’m enjoying things, and my interest is piqued!

Onward to class two!

Critical Questions I should ask myself as I’m beginning a new “Learning Journey” are:

• How do I want to synthesize my learning?  Through journaling? Art? Imaginary Dialogues? Engaging with friends in practice?  All of the above?
• Do I want to supplement other activities along with the course to make this experience uniquely my own? (I think the answer to this is YES!)
• How will I keep and organize a portfolio?  How can I “harvest” my learning through these mechanisms in a self-regulating feedback loop?
• What are my own questions that matter throughout the experience of learning about coaching?  (I’m sure I’ll talk about my interest in Appreciative Inquiry and the process of formulating my own questions quite a bit in this blog.)

I believe that keeping this blog will help me with a lot of “meta-learning” throughout the process, and I can let my interests wander and flow a bit.  This is my own “Learning Journey” – so I should embrace it!  I want this to be a very “intentional” process as well.

(Incidentally, here’s a link to another blog I did in 2006 when I embarked on a similar Learning Journey into the realm of Bicycling)

Already, in addition to this class, I’ve signed up for a Free Coaching Salon that’s taking place at a coffee shop near where I live on August 19!  Seems there are so many things to do and learn surrounding this topic.

So, in the spirit of “unschooling” that I’m so very accustomed to, on this blog, you may see reflective journal entries, essays, imaginary dialogues, maybe recorded conversations, pictures, drawings, art,  photography, you name it.  I’m opening myself up for discovery.

Let’s see how far “down the rabbit hole” we can go!

For a while now, I’ve been interested in the idea of learning more about the profession of Coaching or Life Coaching. In my practice doing bodywork and energy healing (and often with my web design clients), my clients share a lot of personal information and ask for advice or guidance. I’ve been known to mediate disputes with friends, listen to and counsel folks in need, and have been encouraged to pursue coaching as an adjunct to what I do on multiple occasions.

So, I’m jumping in, and taking a FREE Coach Training program (yes you heard that! FREE!) from the School of Coaching Mastery. Finding this course was quite a synchronous event for me, as Julia Stewart just recently released this coaching class for free in late July.

Now before you raise an eyebrow.. Julia speaks about why she’s freely offering this full coaching class with a certification option on the school’s web site.

I love it! As an “unschooler” these days (valuing my own self-directed and intrinsic learning first and foremost), I was previously resigned to either having to pay a lot of money for my own learning, or I would have just completely “self-designed” a path for myself based on my curiosity. This Coach Training Program is a great starting point for me in this self-design, and I’m just thrilled that Julia seems to “get it” with regard to the concept of Learning, vs. “just-paying-for-education.”

So, I’ve decided to blog about the experience here, and to make a portion of my site be my “playground” for my Learning Journey into coaching. I’ll also post some reflections from each class, background information about me, and most likely a lot of my own personal philosophy on learning (and most likely how unschooling fits into things).

And, if you’re interested in taking the class too, I’d love a companion or two to share in this learning journey. Just go to the Free Coach Training web site from the School of Coaching Mastery to sign up for yourself!

Happy Learning, and I’ll be in touch soon!
-Scott

The First:
On July 16, I was initiated into the 2nd Degree of the Reformed Druids of Gaia and the Order of the Mithril Star, the Druid organization which I am a member!

The Second:
I received my Golden Oak Award with the Reformed Druids of North America for the Best Poem of 2009 for my submission of “The Labyrinth” to The Druid’s Egg.

It’s also worth mentioning that I recently moved to Minneapolis, and I now live on Oak Grove Street! A fitting street name for a Druid (thanks to Mike the Fool for pointing this out to me!).

For your enjoyment, here is The Labyrinth:

Come walk with me
Through forests and meadows
We can wind around trees
Turning ever inward
Spinning ever outward

Come walk on the edge with me
Far from everything we know
We can stretch our legs
Run and play
Sit and relax a while

Come walk with me on a spiral path
Returning to people and places we love
We can revel in our greetings
Mourn our goodbyes
Cherish every memory

Come walk with me on a sacred journey
Through the labyrinth of life
We can find the center
Take the final turn
Loving our forever path