Customer: *Tossing a pair of shoes onto the counter.* "I want these shoes, but I'm not paying that price."
Cashier: "Then I guess you’re not getting them." *Moves pair of shoes aside.* "Next customer!"

Read No Ifs, Ands, or Boots

A guy comes in to donate something that we can't accept.
Customer: "Yes, you can! The lady I talked to this morning on the phone said we could!"
Me: "On Sundays, we open at midday. There wasn't anyone working this morning."

Read A Sixth Sense For Such Customers

Coworker: "I'm now a member of the Mile High Club!"
Me: "Uh… what?"
Coworker: "I got a million miles saved up! That puts me in their special club! Look!"
Me: "[Coworker], you're trying to tell me that you've saved up a large number of miles with [Airline], right? Nothing else?"

Read High Miles Meets Mile High

Customer: "You should have blinds or something!"
Me: "We agree, but we're not allowed to put blinds up."
Customer: "Why not?!"

Read Blindsided By Corporate

Girl: "Can I get a large pepperoni, please?"
Owner: *Sighs like it's a massive inconvenience to serve a customer.* "Fine. But you should really let adults go first; you don't need pizza that badly."

Read Everyone Gets A Fair Slice