She drops the bag onto the counter and hands me the folder. The receipts are in no particular order and date back as far as six months.
Me: "Do you know which flowers are listed on which receipts?"
Customer: "No. That’s why I brought you the receipts."
Me: "All right, but this is going to take some time. I’ll need to go through the receipts and match each item to the flowers in the bag."

Read Silence Is The Preferential Treatment We’re Looking For

Me: "So, basically, the Joker manages to brainwash Superman..."
Suddenly, she barges over to us and starts wagging her finger.
Higher-Up: "Hey! No chatting in front of the customers!"
We stop chatting, and she walks away.

Read Injustice From On High

My coworker is one of those people who goes around the store completing online shopping orders. She walks over to me (I'm at the customer service desk) with her little work iPad thingy and sighs.
Me: "Bad day already? It's only 10 AM."

Read Will Not A-Peel To Reason

Somehow, I got on the email list for a player in the NBA (National Basketball Association, professional basketball). For months, I tried to get it to stop by replying to the sender with:
Me: "This can't be for me; please get the correct email address and remove mine."

Read Email Fail: NBA Edition

Captain: "You and your squad will do exactly as I say, or every single one of you will be working Courts for the rest of your careers!"

Read If The Court Pleases