Me: "So, this customer wants a crispy chicken burger, no sauce, no salsa, no butter, no guacamole, no cheese, just chicken and bread, and she wants the chicken to be extra extra well done. She wants chicken and bread?"

Read The Only Thing Drier Is My Sense Of Humor

I was on my way for the last day in the office. Call centers had to scramble to let everybody work from home. There's a bunch of technology involved. 
My old team lead hadn't removed me from my old team's WhatsApp group. 
As I sat on the bus, a message came in.

Read A Window To The Work From Home Mentality

Customer: "Hey, can you clear off this table for me? We are ready to sit down."
Me: *Looking around.* "Not there; that table isn't ready. The host will seat you at a clean table. Have you checked in already?"
Customer: "No, that line is really long, and I don’t want to wait, so I just walked around over here. So, can you clean this table off, or what?"

Read Not Even In Line And Out Of Line, Part 11

Manager: "You don't look happy."
Me: "I just had to go re-install a job done by [Other Tech]. This is the third one this month. We really need to get rid of that guy."
Manager: "Well, then I have some good news."

Read To Be A Leader, First You Have To Be A Liability

Customer: "I want to return [item]."
Coworker: "Our store doesn't do returns, only exchanges."
Customer: "And where does it say that!?"
Coworker: "At the bottom of the receipt you just presented to me."

Read The Long Exchange