Customer: "What SPF is this night cream?"
Me: "SPF? As in sun protection?"
Customer: "Yeah."

Read Sun Thing’s Not Adding Up

Manager: "Thanks for taking the call even though you're sick."
Coworker: "You're welcome."
Manager: "Ya know, you don't sound very sick."

Read Sick Burn, Part 2

Woman: "Well, that's rude! Not even going to say hello?!"
Me: "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
The woman audibly gasps.
Woman: "How can you ask such a thing? You work in [Grocery Store]! We see each other three times a week?!"

Read Checkout Lane Meets Memory Lane

It started with the seventy billionth paper jam in the most inconvenient spots imaginable. The unreasonably sharp plastic didn’t help my colleagues or my hands either. We put it back together, and we got a software error.

Read Jam Session

Customer: "Is this freshly caught?"
I thought he was kidding, so I kind of chuckled as I told him:
Me: "No, we order it and get it frozen."
Customer: "That's f****** terrible!"

Read Frozen Food Is Cold Comfort