I worked at a 24-hour gym. A lady came in at 1 AM. As she's checking in, she asks me:
Gym Member: "Why is there a police car outside?"
Me: "A sergeant comes in pretty often at night to lift weights and do cardio."
Gym Member: "But why are the police here?"

Read The Long Buff Arm Of The Law

When we arrived, the receptionist told us that the person who was supposed to give us our refund wasn’t available. We weren’t at all impressed, since we had an appointment, plus their office was a fair distance from our house.
Receptionist: "Sorry."
She said, not looking sorry at all.

Read Box Them Into A Corner

The guy starts ordering a steak burrito and then continues to add every possible add-on two or three times. Every step of the way, I kept interjecting:
Me: "Sir, that will cost extra."
Customer: "All good, my man!" *Gesturing to the woman.* "I treat my b****es right! Load that burrito up!"

Read A Burrito Mouth On A Taco Budget

Me: "Can we use a foreign passport because my dad doesn't have any Brazilian documents?"
Rep: "He needs to use an identity document."
Me: "Yes, he has his British passport. Can he use it? He doesn't have any Brazilian documents."
Rep: "He can use his work card or driving licence."

Read Unlimited Minutes Gets Unlimited Bureaucracy

Caller: "Hello, yes, I wanted to book a stay at a hotel I saw on TV."
Me: "Of course, ma'am. What hotel was it?"
Caller: "The White Lotus."

Read The Real Resort Was The Friends We Made Jealous Along The Way