When I was a college student, I got an engineering internship in a corporate office for a rapidly growing company. On my second day, I got an email inviting me to a company meeting in a room named after a lake. During my orientation, I’d been told that every meeting room was supposed to be […]

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Customer: "So… I lost my last iPhone."
Me: "Oh, that sucks. Well, we have some older models for cheaper if price is a problem."

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I work in a health and wellness store. A customer pulls a bag of fat burners out of her bag.
Customer: "I need a refund for these."
Me: "They've been opened, so I can only refund them if—"
Customer: "—I've been taking them all week, and I haven't lost any weight!"

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A woman is coming through with a full cart. She's buying a lot of Greek yoghurt.
Customer: "I eat mostly this now because everything else has mind control vaccines in them."
Oh God, she's one of those…

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This is the story of a man who was so determined to avoid his duties at work that he actually became a mythological figure at the store locations where he had been employed. We'll call him Larry for this story.

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