Husband: "Four items?! Is this all you have?"
Me: "Our menus are multiple pages, sir."
Husband: "What?!"
Me: "Turn the page, and you'll see the rest of the menu."

Read This Guy Is Not A Page Turner

Anytime I got an alarm call without someone notifying me of a false alarm, I followed the policy and had them send the police.
There were two or three false alarm calls where the police showed up, found nothing, and sent us a bill.

Read The Alarmingly Predictable Outcome

Me: "We have a really lovely red Zinfandel that we were running a half-price special on."
Customer: "That sounds great! I'll take the bottle."
I bring the bottle, present it to her, open and pour a taste. She looks at it and says:
Customer: "Isn't it supposed to be pink?"

Read Zinfan-delusion

I worked in a hotel cafe that served Starbucks brand coffee and espresso, and advertised it as such.
Customer: "Grande blonde vanilla latte, almond milk, half the syrup, extra hot, and one pump of hazelnut."
Me: "Uh, this isn't a Starbucks, sir. Our menu is the simple one you see up there."

Read Fauxppuccino

Me: "Boss, did you write the sale sign for the apples today?"
Boss: "Yeah, why?"
Me: "You wrote 'buy one, get 50% off'."
Boss: "Yeah, we're having a deal."
Me: "So the apples are half price?"

Read And They Lives Apple-y Ever After