Drive You To Have Fun

, , , , , | | Romantic | May 23, 2018

(I’ve had a rough couple of months, splitting up with my abusive partner, changing stores for work, and moving to a new place. I have scraped together basic furniture but have no luxuries like a washing machine, TV, or stereo. I also regularly walk 35 minutes to work, then wait 45 minutes in the dark to catch the last bus home. My closest friends and family all live in another state, about a 10-hour drive away. This year my birthday falls on a long weekend. My best friend rings me early on the Friday morning.)

Best Friend: “Hey, how are you? Sorry if I woke you.”

Me: “No, that’s okay. I’ve got to see if the laundromat is open today, anyway. I’m okay. How are you?”

Best Friend: “I’m good. Since I got a bonus at work, [Housemate], [Close Friend], [Other Close Friend], and I are on a road trip down the coast. Just thought I’d check in on you.”

Me: “Oh, that’s sweet. I hope you guys have a good time. Say hi to everyone.”

Best Friend: “Will do. Any plans for your birthday?”

Me: “Nope. Just some housework.”

(We chatted for a few minutes before hanging up. A few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I opened it to find my friends. My best friend had bought me a good secondhand car with six months rego on it, a new washing machine and dryer, TV, and stereo, among other little things. My friends then hired a trailer, packed up the car, and made the long trip to surprise me for my birthday. They had booked a nice motel, took me shopping for new clothes, out for dinner on my birthday and sightseeing around the city, before flying home on Sunday, without me spending a cent. My best friend had spent pretty much all of the money from his bonus on the car and other things for my flat, while my other friends had pooled their money and paid for their flights, the motel, and shopping. I will be ever grateful for their love and support.)

Triple Threat

, , , | | Romantic | May 21, 2018

(There is a twenty-something woman who is a regular at the neighborhood restaurant where I work. She works at another local restaurant, but we’re open later, so she’ll come after work for beer and a burger. Sometimes she does come for lunch with her boyfriend and/or her female best friend. The problem comes when her boyfriend and best friend come in together for dinner and act romantically towards each other. My coworkers and I all agreed that we should stay out of things, but a bar regular — who has been hitting on her unsuccessfully for months — decides to say something the next time the woman is in.)

Bar Regular: “You need to dump that a**hole boyfriend of yours.”

Woman: “One, he’s not an a**hole. Two, why would I dump him?”

Bar Regular: “He’s cheating on you with [Friend].”

Woman: “No, he’s not.”

Bar Regular: “You didn’t see them in here last night. They were all over each other.”

Woman: “Thanks for telling me, but it’s not what you think.”

Bar Regular: “I think you’re in denial. Just dump him and I’ll take you out somewhere nice.”

Woman: “Not going to happen. I mean, what would my girlfriend say?”

Bar Regular: “What?”

Woman: “[Friend], my girlfriend. Not that it’s any of your business, but I think she might say something if I dump our boyfriend for going out with her. So, no thanks.”

(The bar regular hasn’t spoken to her again since.)

Achieved Nothing

, , , , | | Romantic | May 20, 2018

(I usually look after the house and shopping on weekends, but today, I’ll be busy working during shopping hours while my husband will be in charge of the house and our seven-year-old son. I leave him a short list of things we need, and insist he has to at least get cat sand so we can change the litter boxes. It’s Saturday, and pet shops are closed on Sundays. I come back from work seven hours later and have this conversation:)

Me: “So, how did the day go?”

Husband: “Good! We went to the swimming pool!”

Me: “Cool! Did you do the shopping? Did you forget anything?”

Husband: “Nothing.”

Me: “Really? You even got the cat sand?”

Husband: “No, we got nothing. We just went to the pool.”

(I had to run out and get food. Cats will have to wait till Monday for sand.)

Observed Something In Passing (Out)

, , , | | Romantic | May 18, 2018

(In high school, I go with my girlfriend when she donates blood. I recently got a piercing, so I can’t donate. After, in the recovery room, she keeps bending over to look under the table. The first few times I look, too, but I don’t see anything interesting.)

Me: “What do you keep looking at?”

Girlfriend: “What?”

Me: “You keep looking at something under the table!”

Girlfriend: “Oh! I’m not looking at anything; I’m passing out.”

(I went and grabbed a nurse. Kind of put me off donating blood!)

Wakey Wakey, Cheese And Bakey

, , , , | Romantic | May 16, 2018

(I am pregnant, and though I have gotten past morning sickness for the most part, I am still not a morning person. My boyfriend has also discovered how to use my cravings to his advantage. My boyfriend’s alarm goes off, and he gently shakes me while hitting the snooze button.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, it’s time to get up.”

(I ignore him. A few minutes later, the alarm goes off again, and he hits snooze.)

Boyfriend: “C’mon, let’s get up. We’ve got things to do today.”

(I roll over and ignore him. A few minutes later, the alarm goes off again.)

Boyfriend: *quietly in my ear* “Cheese fries.”

Me: *stomach growls loudly, I open one eye* “Mmph.”

Boyfriend: “If you get up, I’ll get you some cheese fries. Just for you.”

Me: *sitting up* “Mmph. With bacon?”

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