Needs To Read The Whole (Milk) Thing

| NC, USA | Working | July 27, 2017

(I don’t have a diagnosed dairy allergy, but I just feel better in general when I cut dairy out of my diet. I haven’t had any in so long that I know if I had any, even just a little, my digestive system would hate me. I also don’t eat a lot of sugar for similar reasons. I’m out running errands and decide to stop into Well Known Coffee Chain for a drink. There are two baristas working.)

Barista #1: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “Can I please get a iced [Drink], made with soy milk and with no sweetener added?”

Barista #1: “Sure!” *prints ticket and passes it to [Barista #2]*

(I go stand by the counter to wait. I’m not a particularly picky person, but if I’ve ordered something specific and see someone making it wrong I’ll try to nicely say something.)

Barista #2: *looks at my ticket, grabs a cup and proceeds to pull out a gallon jug of WHOLE milk and pour it in*

Me: “Um, excuse me, miss?”

Barista #2: *either doesn’t hear, or ignores me*

Me: *a little louder* “Excuse me, miss?”

Barista #2: “Yeah?”

Me: “I hate to interrupt, but, that’s whole milk.”

Barista #2: “And?”

Me: “I ordered soy, please.”

Barista #2: *sighs*

(She dumps out the whole milk and proceeds to pour soy milk into the SAME cup. Since I’m not technically allergic, I don’t say anything, but can’t help thinking that could be bad for someone actually allergic to dairy.)

Barista #2: *puts in the other main ingredients, then starts pumping a ton of sweetener into the cup!*

Me: “Miss!”

Barista #2: “What now?!”

Me: *getting irritated, but still trying to be nice* “I also ordered that with no sweetener, please.”

Barista #2: “Come on! I’ll have to remake the whole thing! Can’t you just take it? People like sweet things!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Barista #2: “Ugh! Why didn’t you say any of this before?”

Me: “Uh… because it’s on my order ticket that you read before you started making the drink?”

Barista #1: *walks over to see what’s taking so long* “How’s it going?”

Barista #2: “She keeps changing her order!”

Me: “I just want it the way it was ordered on the ticket, please.”

Barista #1: *looks at the ticket she printed, then back at her coworker* “You have GOT to read these, [Barista #2]! Just go start on [Task that doesn’t involve handling orders] and I’ll make this.”

(Barista #1 apologized and started remaking my drink in a new cup. I told her I deal with people at my job who don’t read anything either, and we had a nice chat before I left.)

Drive-Thru On Autopilot

| ID, USA | Working | July 27, 2017

(It is ten minutes to close. It’s just me and a manager closing and I am in charge of drive-thru. My manager asks me to take a front order because he has gloves on.)

Me: “All right, your total will be $8.27 at the window.”

Me: “…”

Me: “Crap.”

Customer: “Ready to go home, huh?”

A Slight Dislocation Of Professionalism

| UK|UK | Working | July 27, 2017

(I’ve dislocated my finger sideways and gone to hospital. The second the doctor sees my hand, he does this…)

Doctor: “OH, MY GOSH! LOOK AT THAT!” *hurries over to the door* “HEY, JOHN, COME IN HERE! YOU’VE GOT TO SEE THIS!”

Wish There Was A Salesman Filtration System

, | ON, Canada | Working | July 26, 2017

(Having grown tired of door to door salespeople knocking at all hours and waking my kids from their naps I place a sign on my front door explicitly stating we are uninterested in any sales pitches — specifically listing several that are well known scams. Despite this, there is a knock on the door. I find a woman standing there with a clip board.)

Woman: “Hi, we’re going around offering a free water filtration system due to bad water quality in the city.” *lie #1*

Me: *points to the sign on the front door*

Woman: “Yeah, I read that but I don’t think that applies to us.” *launches into sales pitch*

Me: *points out one of the specific scams listed that, while not exactly the same, is in the same family as her spiel*

Woman: “Oh, we’re not [Specific Scam].”

Me: “Close enough; we’re still not interested.”

Woman: *sale spiel* “—free water filter—” *blah blah* “—just need to come in and check the pipes.” *lie #2*

Me: *wanting to get rid of her* “Okay, leave me some information and if we decide to we’ll call you back.”

Woman: “Oh, I can’t do that. I only have [number] of pamphlets and if someone wants to sign up I need to give them one.” *lie #3*

Me: “Then I’ll look your company up online and call if we decide to do this.” *closes door in her face*

(I looked up the company online. Sure, the INSTALLATION of the water filter is free but there’s a $60/month rental fee for the equipment.)

Classic Nick…

| USA | Working | July 26, 2017

(I work as a rides operator at a small fairy-tale themed amusement park in my hometown. On this day, I’m driving the train, which tours the entire park and has a PA system mainly for me to talk to the passengers about the attractions we’re passing. We have a script, but we don’t have to follow it strictly. I often insert silly things to make the passengers smile, and I’m also a little bit of a practical joker. As I’ve just loaded a set of 50 passengers onto the train…)

Me: *over PA* “Hey, could you guys do me a big favor?”

Passengers: *general motions of “sure, what’s the favor?”*

Me: “The guy who’s running the carousel right now is named Nick. When we pass him, can you all yell out ‘Hi, Nick!’ at him?”

Passengers: *laughter, thumbs up, nods of approval*

Me: “Great, let’s go! Welcome aboard the [Park] Express.”

(I go through the rest of my opening spiel and start the train. I do the rest of the trip pretty normally. When we pass the carousel…)

Passengers: “HI, NICK!”

Random Passenger Dude: “I LOVE YOU, NICK!”

(The look Nick gave me when I passed him the next circuit around was priceless.)

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