Not Born to Run

Training Tri Race Report: Plus ça change ...

2009-07-12T11:42:00.014-04:00

(Now with table fixed!) Last Sunday (wow, it seems so long ago!) was my first D.C. Tri training tri of the season. D.C. Tri's training tris are legendary. $5, limited to 120 people, they take place at evil (or delightful, depends) Haine's Point, in the Haine's Point 50 m pool, 3 long loops around the point on the bike (16.8 miles) and a 5k run. It's a great event, run entirely by volunteers, held early in the a.m. to beat the traffic since roads are not closed. Transition takes place on the grassy median strip, where bikes are laid down (chainring side UP please!)

So it's also a terrific way to judge your level of fitness from year to year, since the only (external) thing that changes is the weather. Internal changes, on the other hand...

Oh let's cut to the chase. This year versus last year looks like this:

	July 12, 2009	July 13, 2008
swim 400 yards	10:34 (2:39/100m)	11:11 (2:48/100m)
t1	4:05	3:47
bike 16.8 miles	1:04:58 (15.52mph)	1:04:51 (15.54 mph)
t2	1:32	1:24
run 5k	38:37 (12:27 min/mile)	36:50 (11:53 min/mile)
Total	1:59:46	1:58:03

Well, on the one hand I had high hopes this year of crushing last year's time. On the other, I thought: What better time and place to experiment?? So my first big experiment was using all the skills that have been beaten into me by the swim nazi. The swim works like this: the field is divided in half; people start in the middle lanes and work their way up 50 meters using one side of the lane, back 50 meters on the other side of the same lane, under the rope, and etc., to the end like this:

START HERE

You give your 100m time to the folks at the sign-up table, and get seeded accordingly. So I said "2:30", meaning that people who swim say, 2:20, would be in front of me. Theoretically. If they actually, you know, tell the truth. Well, I happened to overhear a few (two) little birdies give their estimated swim times, and let's just say that I had my doubts about said times, which of course I voiced. Why does this matter, you ask? Because, if you are slower than you say you are, well, the people behind you are not going to be happy. It's not terrifically easy (see technical diagram) to swim around people, since other peeps are coming right towards you, in the other half of the lane.

So all I'm saying is: I could SOOOOO have knocked another 15 seconds off my swim time except for the person in front of me, for whom I had to actually STOP swimming, cuz I couldn't pass him! FIFTEEN SECONDS! (Not that it matters.) When I got to 200 meters, I asked him if I could cut ahead. Cuz I was brought up polite like that.

Even so, the swim was my one bright spot over last year. Well, ok, I did ~~shave~~ I meant ADD 7 seconds ~~off~~ to my bike. And it's entirely possible that I was a wee bit too laid back during transitions.

My bike "experiment" I learned from watching the Tour. Turns out those dudes? When they want to go faster? They use bigger gears! WHO. FREAKING. KNEW. Since Haine's Point is flat as a pancake, I tried to stay in my big giant gear, and push as hard as I could. I'm actually happy with my bike time because a) it practically killed me (always a good thing, right?), and 2) last year I did not use the Big Girl gear AT ALL, NEVER. (I'm not totally sure what that means in terms of performance, or smartness. Bike people, weigh in please.)

And then there's the run. I have no idea what happened because 1) I did not walk (I know, hard to believe, right?) and b) I did not give up nor did I feel like giving up. This is big progress people! Going from T2 into the run was way tougher than I remember from last year, and way way tougher than it was during the ITU sprint just four weeks ago, when my 5k time was 35:32 (11:28 min./mile).

So, with all that in mind, and the Nation's Tri (Olympic) the only thing left on my dance card this season on Sept. 13, over which I am already freaked, and which sounded just tough enough, I did the only thing I know how to do: When I heard that the MidAtlantic Regional Club Championship, the North East Triathlon on August 16th, had some extra spots open for DC Tri peeps, I took the plunge and signed up.

As someone told me at the track tonight: "Just think of it as a great big party."

Or a wake.

I Am a Moron

2009-07-09T21:58:00.002-04:00

On the schedule: Wednesday night track workout, with the D.C. Road Runners: 10x400, with 100 recovery, which, with a 1 mile warmup and 1 mile cooldown, would give me a nice 5 miles.

I haven't been on the track in <cough> weeks, so I was a little worried. Ten repeats? Really? Maybe I could shoot for five and see if I'm coughing up a lung.

I met up with my New Triathlon Program mentee, who is two years my senior (yes, you read that right), and runs 7 minute miles. Yes, I'm mentoring her. Don't ask.

She agreed to pace me to hit my target 400 time, 2:16-2:22, based on the handy McMillan running calculator.

Off we go! Whee! I am FEELING GOOD!

First 400: 2:22

Perfect.

2nd 400: 2:03

Damn! But, OK, that was a total fluke. No way did I just run an 8 minute mile.

3rd 400: 1:58

What??! I'm not even out of breath! I must be in way better shape than I thought.

4th 400: 2:01

OK, I am in AWESOME SHAPE. I can do 10 of these standing on my head. I'm barely sweating! I am en fuego.

5th 400: 1:55 I am seriously not even trying. Have I finally conquered running?? I RULE!

And that's when my mentee and I split up, so she could, as she colloquially put it, "Challenge myself a little bit."

No problem.

I'm amazed I managed to carry on a conversation. How is that possible?? In fact, I vaguely recall um, being unbelievably annoyed by peeps chatting on the track. "If you're chatting, you ain't working!"

So, you know where this is going, right?

6th 400: 1:55 God, I'm so consistent!

7th 400: 1:5...wait a minute....how come I'm starting and ending at the exact same place even though I have 100 recovery in between? How is that possible??? [Wheels start slowly turning as brain processes question. And...cue lightbulb.]

ARE YOU ON CRACK? HELLO????

YOU ARE DOING 300s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DID NOT SUDDENLY START RUNNING 8 MINUTE MILES!!!!

Nevermind 10x400, you need 10xdopeslap!

8th 400: 2:22 Ah, yes, this suddenly feels harder. And familiar.

9th 400: 2:34 Oh HOW THE MIGHTY FALL.

10th 400: 2:23 Le sigh.

In my defense, if I hadn't broken my NO TALKING rule, I would have been paying attention, and I would have realized that if you run 400, with 100 recovery, it's not really possible, mathematically, physically, or on any other plane of existence, to start and end at the same place.

Oh yes, you want ME as your MENTOR.

Sign up here.

Fourth of July: The Day in Pictures

2009-07-06T21:51:00.005-04:00

Fourth of July, Part Un. The annual Autism Speaks Fourth of July 5k, Potomac, Maryland.

The kid really loves this race. No, really.

See?

Bad. Ass.

A joyful runner.

Art.

Self-portrait, running.

Deirdre on the run.

More running.

Bad ass? Or big ass? You decide.

Fourth of July, Part Deux: Annual Capitol Hill street party: the water balloon toss. Get outta the way kid!

Eat crackers and whistle contest. Not as easy as it looks.

Everybody limbo!

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

Fourth of July, Part Trois: On the mall.

Someone crashes.

Et, voila.

July 4th 5k, the Streak Continues!

2009-07-04T15:54:00.003-04:00

It's another (course) PR at the annual July 4 Autism Speaks 5k:

2009: F52 784/1216 23/40 32:10 10:22

2008: F51 936/1393 21/42 32:33 10:28

2007: F50 614/883 14/26 32:18 10:23

2006: F49 474/728 21/37 32:42 10:31

2005: F48 566/709 28/34 34:41 11:10

yay!

New Kitchen Unveiled

2009-06-30T20:25:00.009-04:00

I apologize in advance to those of you who have seen some of these photos previously. Then again, I had to look at this view every single day for 12 long, dark years.

Enjoy!

Old floor

I can powder my nose by looking at this floor! It's so shiny it's like looking in a mirror!!

Old sink..

New sink! New cupboards! New squiggly handle thingys! New counter!

Old drawers, and old space for a drawer that fell apart.

Look! A drawer with a front! And an extra cupboard!

Old pantry, view 1.

Old pantry, view 2. It had a certain je ne sais quois.

New pantry, view 1. (With doors! That close!)

New pantry, view 2.

Old cabinets.

New cabinets.

Ugliness.

More ugly.

Still ugly.

And, here's some ugly parts.

I CAN SEE!

Total: $5,950

Construction by Dila Construction; started on a Tuesday, finished the following Tuesday.

Is it possible to be in love with inanimate objects??

The Rest of the Dextro ITU Sprint Triathlon Story

2009-06-25T16:30:00.011-04:00

I was—thankfully—in the last swim wave (thankfully, since that meant there wouldn't be anyone behind me who would swim over me, see how I think?) set for 6:45 a.m. Sunday morning. Transition closed at 6, so I got there at 4:30, which meant? I woke up at 3:30 a.m.

O'dark thirty in transition.

Maryland Girl and me at the a**crack of dawn.

That is just so very very wrong.

We were all concerned about the condition of the Potomac River since it had been raining nonstop for what seemed like decades. Saturday was packet picket, again at a hotel a million miles away from transition, with a mandatory pre-race meeting, and a rather sad and dismal expo. I really don't get these meetings. I think the only thing I learned was that there wouldn't be any kind of transport back to transition on race day, which meant getting up early and parking at the hotel, and taking the shuttle down to transition, so that after the race we could walk back to the hotel, get the car, and try to drive back to transition to get all my crap. I'm saying the fifth discipline in triathlon is logistics (the fourth is eating).

Saturday, June 20, 2009, Potomac River, looking towards Virginia. The sun finally broke through.

Anywho, there was 'sposed to be a practice swim after packet pickup and bike racking, but it was canceled because of thunderstorm warnings. Number One Daughter's BF had been on the river early Saturday morning and was very skeptical that there would be a swim in such conditions—rough current and tons of debris. He said he saw a few tires float by. Way to freak me out KB!

Didn't see any tires, but plenty of debris.

I wasn't quite sure which would be worse: Having this thing turn into a duathlon (please don't make me run twice!) or, having to swim. And it wasn't swimming in the Potomac that scared me, it was, well, just swimming.

The course: Straight, left before the bridge, swim parallel to the bridge, another left and straight back to the dock. Easy-peazy!

The sun is up and I am so ready.

SWIM: 20:51 (2:47/100m) Despite all my weeks and months of training, I'm still pretty much convinced every time I get in the pool that I will suck. As we queued up and waited for the 10 waves before us to go off (6 Olympic waves and 5 Sprint) I tried not to think about a single thing except putting one foot in front of the other. This (mostly) worked.

Soon we jumped or slid into the water, which was a lovely 72F, but very murky. Treaded water for three minutes, the horn blew and we were off.

Sighting was pretty easy. Keep the shore to your right, head for the bridge. I probably over-sighted (?) looking up every 3-6 strokes. I was wearing a new wetsuit and for some reason my legs felt very constricted. I kind of knew I should be kicking at least a little (the ghost of Coach Tammy screaming in my ear to "USE. YOUR. LEGS.") but I just couldn't manage it. I also have just GOT to learn that there is a difference between swimming in a triathlon and driving a car. (What, you think that's obvious? Don't judge.) In a car, for instance, when someone wants to merge, I generally slow down and wave them in. And it turns out? In a triathlon when someone is swimming in front of me and I am gaining on them? I should really NOT SLOW DOWN AND WAVE THEM IN. I should ROLL THE HELL OVER THEM if need be.

Sigh.

I didn't hyperventilate, but I was breathing hard, telling myself this was really NOT the time to review the recent spate of stories about how all deaths in triathlon occur during the swim (seriously, this is what I was thinking), wondering if I'd have time to scream.

Sigh.

SHAKE IT OFF, sister!

Soon enough, I was hauling my bad self up the ramp, and taking my sweet time walking back to transition.

T1: 4:34 A funny thing happened in T1. Well, first, there were still bikes there, so that's funny peculiar right there. My bike was in the very very very VERY last rack, as far from the swim as possible but right next to the bike out. Wetsuit off, goggles off, dry feet, put sock on left foot, put sock on right...c'mon, you can do it, just raise that foot a little higher, bend over, COME ON YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING ON SOCKS FOR UM, YEARS NOW!! EFF THIS I'M SITTING DOWN! I can no longer bend over, my back is so tight. Who knew?? So I sat on the grass and got my right sock on and then pulled on my bike shoes, except...wait, there's something weird happening in my right shoe. WTF? Is it just my sock bunched up??? YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, JUST LIVE WITH IT IT'S ONLY 12 MILES! Helmet on, sunglasses and go go go.

Bike 20K (12.4 miles): 45:59 (16.2mph): The bike was fantastic. There is no better feeling than being able to ride in the middle of the streets of Washington. The Olympic and Sprint races were concurrent, so it was also just lovely not being alone. D.C. Tri was everywhere. We owned this race! They were ringing cowbells on every corner or handing out water or taking photos, or, if racing, never failed to shout "Go D.C. Tri!" as they passed me. It was awesome. D.C. Rainmaker passed me a few times on the bike like I was standing still, and even though he was busy tossing his cookies, he still managed a "Go D.C. Tri"...awwww. So I went, and got me my fastest bike split ever. I even passed a few people. Yay me.

T2 2:10: A funnier thing happened in T2. I racked my bike, took off my helmet, took off my left shoe, took off my right shoe and saw...ewwww..wtf is that brown stuff on the bottom of my sock on no it's not oh yes it is THERE'S A GU WRAPPER STUCK INSIDE MY RIGHT BIKE SHOE! AN OPEN USED GU WRAPPER. Did someone casually toss a gu wrapper on the ground in T1 RIGHT INTO MY BIKE SHOE??? Apparently, they did.

Sigh.

I stuck the camera in my jersey, grabbed my cell phone, and pulled on my running shoes. Somehow? I managed to become more limber AFTER the ride, so I didn't need to sit down to put my shoes on like I'm 100 years old. Go figure.

RUN 35:32 (11:28 min./mile): Let the record reflect that this is the Very Same Girl who started the year by going sub-30 in the 5k. This is the Very Same Girl who threw down an 8:50 min mile in the mile race just a few short months ago! And yes, this Very Same Girl had one goal and one goal only on this run: Do. Not. Walk. I don't care if you "run" 12 minute miles, just don't walk. Yay, me, I did it. Since I'd done only two half-assed bricks since last year, this was a good thing.

The finish was nowhere near transition, so that's why I grabbed the camera and the phone. I figured I could run 5k with a phone in my hand. A phone that was TURNED OFF, let me state for the record. Not my prettiest 5k but I knew it would be over soon. Plus, I kept passing my D.C. Tri peeps again! I gotta tell you: When you live in (or in my case near) the big bad city, and you're in a fairly sizeable (ok, not huge) race, and every 200 meters someone calls out your name, you start to feel, well, well-known! It takes a village, people!!!

The End!

Afterparty! Volunteer at the ITU professional race water stop!

Is this Brownlee?

Dextro Energy Sprint Tri Results

2009-06-21T13:55:00.006-04:00

Mood: Overall happy, although I REALLY thought my swim time would have improved more, given all the swim torture I've been going thru. Still, I pretty much hit all my goal times. Afterwards, I volunteered at the Men's ITU championship race and got to see a LOT of hawt men going very fast. Photos and excruciating details in my next post!

Dextro ITU Sprint Tri, June 21, 2009:
Age: 52
Overall place: 431 out of 477
Div: 6 out of 8
Gender place: 145 out of 169
Swim 750m: 20:51 (2:47/100m)
t1: 4:34
Bike 20K (12.4 miles): 45:59 (16.2mph)
t2: 2:10
Run 5k: 35:32 (11:28 min./mile)
Total: 1:49:04

Philadelphia Insurance Sprint Tri, June 21, 2008 (ridiculously long race report):
Age 51
Div: 12 of 18
Swim 900m: 26:35 (2:57/100m)
T1: 5:56
Bike 24k (15 miles): 1:02:59 (15 mph)
T2: 3:48
Run 5k: 36:18 (11:42 min./mile)
Total 2:15:37

Clean Sweep, the Not-Born-to-Run Kitchen Edition, Part Two

2009-06-19T19:26:00.007-04:00

You ask, I deliver!

You might remember my BEFORE kitchen...we'll wait while you go check it out.

And in case you don't have the patience to click, here's a few before shots just to refresh your memory:

Shudder.

Oh, look away!

Kitchen is EMPTY.

OMG NEW CABINETS!

OMG NEW FLOOR!

MORE CABINETS! and MORE FLOOR!

STILL MORE CABINETS!

Total cabinet tally: 7, Home Depot in-stock: $1,000.

But just wait...wait til you see the final product! I could perform surgery in this kitchen! In fact, I'm making Number One Daughter scrub before she's allowed to set foot (that would be a bootie-covered foot) in this inner sanctum!!

Stay tuned for the finished, final, granite-bedecked kitchen that I want to sleep in. Watch this space!

(Obligatory Tri Note: Sunday, June 21: International Triathlon Union, Sprint Tri, Washington, D.C. I am Very Nervous.)

(Obligatory Housewives Note: I really like Caroline!)

Mother of All Negative Splits

2009-06-14T14:53:00.010-04:00

It was just one short week ago when I forlornly begged MarylandGirl to accompany me on a 22-mile bike ride about 3 miles from my house because I am was pretty much afraid to ride by myself. Even though I ride with a cellphone, tubes, cartridges and a pump. I mean really.

But everyone was busy this weekend, so it was time to suck it up. I thought about Ironman Ray's weekend jaunts to Skyline Drive, and thought, well, if he can do it, so can I. Because? I'm MENTAL! So I sent out an RFP to Ray for some advice. And he proposed this:

...start at the Dickey Ridge visitor center – milepost 4.5. This takes out the initial climb, but that’s all good [I'LL SAY IT'S ALL GOOD!] because you start at a nice facility (with a bathroom!) as opposed to a roadside nothingness.
From there, pedal (or crawl as it may be) to mile 21, a high point, and then turn around and come back. I’d guess you’d be between 2:30 and 3:00 depending on how long it takes to get used to the hills [NOTE: I'M BACK AND I'M STILL NOT USED TO THE HILLS].
A general rule of thumb for Skyline drive is take your average speed and multiply it by .6-.75 to figure out how long it will take ya.
Finally, yup – perfectly doable by yourself. Most of the park traffic doesn’t really start rushing in until around 9:30-10AM, and even then it takes a while to make it in the park since the speed limit is 35MPH and people are stopping all the time to go to overlooks.

I WAS SO IN!

Skyline Drive follows the crest of the Blue Ridge Mountains for 105 miles. But I thought the actual Drive itself was, you know, on top of the mountain. Like first you DRIVE up the mountain in your CAR, that thing with an ENGINE, and then hop out and ride a few hills.

Errr. Not.

My little car putt-putt-puttered on the way up-up-up into Shenandoah National Park. I wasn't sure it would make it.

But it did, and after scaring myself silly by driving a bit of the course, I parked at Dickey Ridge, pumped up the tires, donned the helmet, clipped in at 8:00 a.m. sharp, and set off on the most perfect summer morning, with bright blue cloudless skies and an empty park. I honestly didn't think I could do this, but told myself I could always bail (again with the positive self-talk. It's an art, people.)

Here's the elevation map:

Miles 1 to 16.5: 2 hours (to Hogsbreath Overlook, or whatever it's called)
Miles 16.5 to 33: 1:10!!!

Holy downhill, Batman. Sparks flew outta my brakes on the way down I was gripping them so hard. My hands ached. My life passed before me. I saw God.

But the way up was much easier than expected. Partly because I wasn't riding for time, and i wasn't trying to keep up with anyone. So yes, I rode 8 mph on the way up. But I never walked, never stood, and didn't fall over. Go me.

Start here

Up

Up. Why is everything named after hogs?

More up

Guess what? UP.

Mecca!

I have arrived at the Promised Land! Hogsbreath!

Wildlife that I managed not to kill. It was going faster than I was.

Me, courtesy of the friendly gent who offered to take my photo. Holding camera backwards. Um, fail, but it's kinda funny.

Post-ride fuel.

So to recap:
1) I can't wait to go back.
2) I can ride hills.
3) I can ride by myself.
4. I actually LOVE riding by myself.

Who knew?

Thanks Ray!

More photos here.

Clean Sweep, the Not-Born-to-Run Kitchen Edition, Part One

2009-06-12T22:02:00.012-04:00

Yes, it's time to come clean, so to speak. You've seen bits and pieces of the NBTR headquarters over the years. Well, here it is, in all its glory, I present, my kitchen:

Yes, the floor is missing a few pieces.

Not enough cabinets resulted in this delicate solution of baskets and a metal shelving unit.

About oh, 8 months ago, Number One Daughter started stripping the wallpaper, step one in our "oh-we-surely-can-remodel-this-ourselves" phase. There was no step two.

So, a while ago, the top drawer sort of fell apart. It's amazing what you can get used to.

There you have it: 75 square feet of what has to win the prize for the "kitchen in most need of repair."

And I'm sure I would have lived with this depressing miserable workplace for a long time to come if I didn't have a crazy goal to rent my place out and move into the city. And if Number One Daughter's imminent departure weren't so...imminent.

I started saving and squirreling away every spare penny, and talking to contractors (fun! Not!). It's not like I was looking for a dream kitchen here. I had no interest in over-improving the place (a good thing, given my budget and the free-falling condo market). ALL I needed was 7 in-stock Home Depot cabinets, a new floor, new light fixture, and new countertop. And I didn't want to spend more than $5,000.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

After MONTHS of looking, I finally settled on this firm, which works primarily on Capitol Hill, but which agreed to come out to the hinterlands of Bethesda to do this job.

Wait 'til you see what happened next. You WILL NOT BELIEVE IT.

Stay tuned....

Training From the Other Side

2009-06-07T20:16:00.010-04:00

Last Saturday was the first training tri of the summer, hosted by DC Tri. I volunteered (you know me—always thinking of others! You know me—procrastinated until it was sold out!)

It was Great Fun being on the other side of things for once. The volunteers met at 6:00 a.m., which meant getting up at 4:30 a.m., but for once I didn't have to worry about um, digestive issues, since there was no stress, to um, bollocks up the works, so to speak, so I didn't mind the early wakeup in the least. That, plus we were promised free coffee and doughnuts! All I had to do was show up.

So 4:30 wakeup was NOT a problem. What WAS a problem was the pool party that started outside my window just as I was drifting off to sleep at 9:30 p.m., forcing me to listen to WHAM, YMCA and other '80s horrors.

Out of bed I popped, got dressed, walked down 3 flights to the pool to yell at people, music got turned down, I came back upstairs, back to bed, up again at 11:30. Rinse. repeat.

Yes, sadly, I am That Woman.

I swear, my neighbors must have some kind of phone tree set up to sound the alarm (literally) if I have to wake up early. "Hey Jeanne needs to be up at 4:30—paaartaaay!"

Grrr.

But I digress.

I bopped down to Hain's Point, and mingled with many new and some old triathletes. It is so much fun being a veteran. I remembered distinctly how freaked out I was last year at my first training tri, so I tried to sound all knowledgeable and reassuring. I think I pulled it off. Soon enough 7 a.m. rolled around and we moved up to Hain's Point 50-meter pool.

The training tri is limited to 120 people. And it's only $5! Great training for everyone.

Race director Hugh showing us how it's done.

The racers had all estimated their swim times and got in at the center of the pool one at at time according to their times, swimming 400 yards in a zig-zag across the pool to the outer lanes. I got to write down the times, while my partner in crime #1, Becky, timed people. It was fun! Plus? It really helps to watch how other people swim. So much easier to see what other people are doing wrong.

(Becky had to handle the timer cuz it would have stressed me out too much to push buttons. Becky also has a large pole growing out of her head.)

After the last person got out of the pool, I headed for my next assignment, which was manning the water station with partner in crime #2, Lindsey.

Out state-of-the-art water stop, on Haine's point. Potomac River in the background.

We had a lot of fun, and people were SOOOOO thankful to see us! If you have self-esteem issues, go volunteer at a water stop. Someone said, "You're the best thing that's happened to me all day!," which, if true, is kinda sad! But still! Props to us!

I took loads of really bad photos (So not my fault. Number One Daughter took her camera back, so I had to use my ancient one.)

There was the traditional 9:30 a.m. barbeque, at which I stood around whining about how I needed to go run. So finally, I shut the eff up, and ran 3.1 miles around the peninsula. That was my Long Run for the week. Sigh.

It was a great day again. D.C. Tri makes it look effortless, though I imagine it's not so much. I'm glad I had a little part in it. I could get very used to this side of racing. Very, very used to it.

Any Lawyers in the House? Match.com, Part 97

2009-06-07T20:12:00.004-04:00

I know I owe you all an update on my dating life, so here it is:

In other news, my match.com subscription ran out. The lovely people there sent me a 25 percent off offer. (I think.) Here are the terms:

Match.com
Subscribe and Make a Splash for Summer!

By clicking "Continue," you agree
to the following:

OFFER DETAILS. This offer (the "25% Offer") consists of 25% off the initial subscription price of any of subscription packages (1-month, 3-month or 6-month) to the Match.com service.

HOW TO REDEEM. To redeem your 25% Offer to Match.com you must meet all of Match.com's eligibility requirements, including that you are 18 years old at the time of redemption. Match.com reserves the right to refuse any subscription for any reason. Redemption of the 25% Offer must be completed no earlier than May 28, 2009 and no later than December 31, 2010. Limit of one 25% Offer per person. Any attempt by a person to redeem more than one 25% Offer shall subject subsequent 25% Offer(s) to disqualification.

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My mortgage had fewer caveats. I think if I take them up on this offer, it means I have agreed to automatic renewals for the REST OF MY LIFE.

But I'm not a lawyer, so I can't say for sure.

Mental

2009-06-03T12:39:00.006-04:00

I got a promotional e-mail from onetri.com and it started this way:

Sometimes your biggest competitor in the sport of triathlon is yourself. One way to overcome your mental hurdles is to know that no race defines you. Take a moment, breathe and know that if you don't do as well as you wanted, there are more races waiting. Build your self confidence, focus and know you are supported.

I like that. Just thought I'd share it.

What have I been doing since Memorial Day you ask? Get up, work out, go to work, come home, work out, don't work out. Mostly I've been beating myself up for not doing enough, in ANY sphere of my life, and beating myself up is apparently my favorite pastime.

Let's take a look:
Memorial Day: 16 mile bike, 1000 (or so) meter swim, open water
Tuesday, 5/26: 2.75 mile treadmill run, accompanied by heavy doeses of "I can no longer run. I suck, etc."
Wednesday, 5/27: 45-minute spin class
Thursday, 5/28: Swim class (2000 yards, hard); 4.3 mile outdoor run (12:21 minute pace. See? I really can't run anymore. But I refuse to let this stop me.)
Friday, 5/29: REST DAY!
Saturday, 5/30: 31-mile hilly bike, which was easier this time than the last time i did it.

Sunday: REST DAY!
Monday, 6/2: 3.1 mile treadmill run; 1500 m swim (with a group!)
Tuesday, 6/3: 3.25 mile run
Wednesday, 6/4: REST!
Thursday, 6/5: God willing, my private swim class in the a.m., followed by bike ride in the p.m.

Clearly, I'm not doing enough.

My first race is June 21, the Dextro ITU Sprint.

How many bricks have I done? None.

Sigh.

I go through these spurts of hating/being afraid of certain things. Last week, as an alert Facebook friend (Hi Karen!) noted, it was swimming. This week, it seems to be running. I used to run outside in all kinds of weather, heat, cold, rain, wind. Now I am afraid of running outside--I'll be slow, it's too hard, I have no idea. WHY??? WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

In other, better news, I went to a DC Tri group swim at Catholic University on Monday night, as usual, expecting the worst (I tried this group workout once last year and got my ass handed to me, on a silver platter). This time i was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't in the slowest lane, my 100s were impossibly fast (fast for ME--2:06?!?!?!). What gives? I told coach Lori that the water felt "soft." As is not as hard to get through as the water in the American U pool, my Thursday morning swim water.

One thing is clear: I am SICK of feeling like I've never done enough. Anyone else go through these things? Or am I alone in my pathology?

Or maybe it's not pathological? Maybe I really am not doing enough.

After all, just because you're paranoid doesn't meant they're not out to get you.

Memorial Day Tri: Swim, Bike, Eat

2009-05-27T07:29:00.008-04:00

I temporarily re-joined the New Triathlete's Program for the traditional three sports with which to celebrate Memorial Day: swim/bike/eat throwdown at Sandy Point Park, just outside of Annapolis.

(I apparently need to actually buy a camera, because Someone decided she wants her own camera back. Sheesh. Kids.)

Maybe you've heard? Swimming isn't my strong suit? I kind of sort of actually hate and detest it? Maybe I haven't actually blogged about swimming. I think maybe I only FaceBooked about the hate-on I have for swimming. Well, to make a long story short: I have this swim coach, she's great, she kicks my ass, I'm tossing up a lung in her workouts, I almost quit, I didn't, things got better, and well, we'll see.

I mean, I want to be challenged in my swimming. But there's challenging and then there's impossible. It's as though my track coach just suddenly told me to run 7 min miles. That's a fine goal, but you know, I'm not going to get there for a long, long (REALLY LONG) while. So I explained all of this to my coach, and voila, or viola, at last week's swim lesson I got to wear flippers. (And those things rock.) So, we'll see.

Anywho, I had to FORCE myself to do this open water swim thing, as usual. We had some nice OLDTP-ers on hand to guide us (thanks Ed and Simon!) and they gave some great pointers. I worked hard on sighting and on swimming, and on swimming, you know—near other people. Like REALLY close. We practiced Mass Starts, which I have successfully avoided up til now. It wasn't so horrible as I thought. We did variations of swimming from this buoy to that one over and over, gradually increasing distance, culminating in a nice long 800 m swim in the lovely Chesapeake Bay.

As usual, it was awesome. I didn't drown (my latest new terror? That I'll be the one who has the heart attack in the water that you read about at every triathlon. It's always something, isn't it?), and I kept a decent pace. It's possible that the wetsuit helped.

After all of that fun, we had a leisurely transition and hit the bikes for another FANTASTIC ride. We did about 16 miles, headed towards Annapolis. Beautiful day, birds singing, the smell of honeysuckle, cut grass, and barbecue in the air. What made this ride fun and different? Well, I kept up, for one thing. And we rode in a pace line for another. These are monumental things in my puny little life. I remember this trip last year, when a 40-mile-bike ride pretty much broke me. So great to see progress. Plus? The New New Triathletes were terrific.

On the way back, one of the NTP-ers got a flat and a few of us stopped to help her fix it. I provided the tube, Simon provided the brawn. And the skill. (Although I could have done it. Eventually.)

Anyway, the point of this little story is, I fell behind everyone, but I was determined to catch up, and catch up I did.

After a mile or so, I met up with Simon, who was nicely waiting for me and then?

It. Was. On.

It. Was. So. On.

(Simon is half my age and an Ironman. So yeah. It wasn't really on.)

Simon at New Jersey Tri last year. Sorry big guy.

I needed to catch a few people. I needed to SHOW a few people how to do this thing. (Heh.)

Apparently I started riding. After a bit Simon pulled up to me and said, "You know you're doing about 18 mph?"

What? Exsqueeze me?? This thing only goes 15 mph. (And no, I don't have a bike computer. On purpose. Why depress myself more?)

I kept going. It felt great!! Simon told me later I hit 20mph (and if he was lying, I don't want to know). Ed even told me I had a nice cadence! (Some women like to be told they're beautiful. Then, there's the rest of us.)

I say it over and over: It's the little things in life, people.

These little victories and people telling me I'm getting better just mean the world to me. I mean, I was high after hearing that!

I just hope I remember to do the same for others.

Afterwards, we headed to Cantlers for the traditional crabcake feast

Me, Ed, last year at Cantler's. Yum.

No better way to spend a Memorial Day.

You Should Have Seen the Other Guy*

2009-05-22T16:35:00.004-04:00

Setting: One fine May evening.

Activity: Short (but hilly!) 11 mile ride out of Conte's Bethesda.

Partner: The long suffering Michelle from GoMDgirlGo

Location: Second hill, of many.

I am pathetic. I cannot get this freakingfracking chain back on! But I'm digging this greasemonkey look.

You want grease? I got grease.

Cute cyclist-dude stops to help. Takes him 10 seconds. I am happy happy happy! Is there anywhere I don't have grease?? (No, not really. You'd be surprised.)

We cut our 11-mile ride very short. I left the bike at Conte's Bethesda for their spring race tune up ($75!), but sadly, did not remember that I was wearing bike shoes and my car was parked 6 blocks away.

So I did what any normal person would do: I walked 6 blocks in my socks, past the tony shops and chic diners lining the sidewalks of Bethesda Row.

What, you think that's WEIRD?

*No, really, you should have!

Columbia Triathlon 2009 Relay Report

2009-05-17T18:45:00.007-04:00

The Cast:
The Swimmer: Carolina. C. had parked outside of a friend's house til 11 p.m. the night before, waiting for the friend to come home so she could borrow her wetsuit. The friend never showed. C. showed up at the race site at 6:30 a.m. sans wetsuit, but with the hopeful crazy idea that our runner would be bringing one.

The Runner: Sheriece had fallen down a flight of stairs earlier in the week, spraining both ankles, giving me (it's always about me!) the scare of my life as I contemplated the horror of having to ride AND run this race. (Oh, and I was really worried about her too. No, really!) Plus? She was graduating on Saturday, the day before the race. (Let's just say that S. is not known for her teetotaling ways, even on a normal weekend.) Saturday morning she wrote to tell us she would indeed run. I was off the hook and giddy with gratitude.

The Cyclist: Yours truly. I had managed to fall off my bike on Thursday night, landing smack on my right hand, outstretched to catch all <cough> lbs of me. I seriously thought I had broken my wrist, and it was still sore and swollen on race morning. Then, while walking down a very slight very muddy hill into transition at 6:30 a.m., I managed to slip and fall down boom. An omen?

The Weather: Rainy, windy, cold, cold, cold.

Thus began the Columbia 2009 Triathlon!

The wind was blowing. The rain was raining. The feet were freezing. The bitching was in full force.

I set up what I could in transition, feeling confident that the rain would stop at any minute. Swimmer C and I walked about 10 million miles to the D.C. Tri tent over by the finish area, where we found our peeps and saw D.C.'s Perpetual Racing Mayor Fenty, and tried to stay out of the off-again on-again rain.

And the wind.

S. was supposed to arrive at 7. We called her then, only to discover she was sound asleep. FAIL! So, no wetsuit, and no runner. FAIL!

Our swim wave was set to go at 8:15. Carolina was cool as a cucumber. I was, as usual, one big mess 'o nerves.

HiSheriecewherethehellareyou??!

Somehow—don't ask me how, I have no idea—S. got there around 8 a.m., found parking, walked a trillion miles wetsuit in hand, and our race commenced:
L-R: Sheriece, Carolina, Julia in triathlon's first event: Putting on the wetstuit. I directed. Photos courtesy the lovely Sandy.

While former water polo player Carolina was bringing home the swim, I was standing by my bike changing my clothes a few dozen times. Short or long sleeve? Jacket or no jacket? It was blowing. It was raining. I had cleverly left my helmet upside down on my handlebars so that it made a lovely rain catcher. I finally settled on short sleeves no jacket. I was worried sick about the notorious hills in this race, especially the slick downhills. My goal was to complete the 41k in under 2 hours; my happy goal in 1:50; but mostly I wanted to prove to myself that I could survive with no falls.

It took me about two minutes to get on the bike and clip in. (Don't ask.) You know how at the beginning of a race how you kind of know whether you have it or not? Yeah. I wasn't feeling it. I was tired, cranky, wet, and did I mention cold? (I don't honestly think I've warmed up yet.)

After about 30 minutes I settled into a groove, my heart calmed down and I made a mental decision to give it my all—whatever that looked like.

The worst thing about the wind is the nonstop noise. It's really loud! It was incessant, except for maybe one mile-long stretch where I immediately noticed something was different: It was quiet, almost peaceful. No wind!! It didn't last. The course winds out into the country, past goats and sheep and cows and horses. The roads are not closed to traffic. Spectators are sprinkled throughout the route, particularly along the hills, giving lots of encouragement. I saw one mom and her daughter sitting in the back of their station wagon, legs hanging over the edge, half-heartedly waving flags back and forth while stifling yawns, as I ground my way up a hill at -10mph. I said to them, "You two looked bored silly!"

Just doin' my job, people.

I made it up every hill. And I tried to let lose on the downhills despite some hairy curving descents over wet leaves. There were times—I SWEAR I'm not making this up—when I had to peddle on the downhills because the headwind was so strong I would have ended up standing still. I got passed by several people but I also passed a few folks, including one guy decked out in full aero-regalia. Heh. I even managed to pass a few people on the uphills. (Believe me, I'm shocked too.) And then, like the great racer I am, I passed a few people along the last mile-long straightaway to transition. That felt great!

Total time according to Columbia Tri people: 1:57 (including T1 which is really not fair!)

Sheriece, God bless her, I don't know how she did it but she pulled off a quite respectable 10k with two swollen ankles and a snoutful and no sleep.

Final times for TEAM WEDONTNEEDNOBIGFANCYNAME
TOTAL: 16/20 3:37:44
SWIM: 9th 30:54
BIKE + T1: 14th 1:57:27 (13.014671198978291 miles per hour)
T2: 7th 1:12
RUN: 17th 1:08:12 10:59 min/mile

WHOOO HOOOO!

And thus begins triathlon season.

Will the Real Mrs. O Please Stand Up?

2009-05-13T20:31:00.002-04:00

We are practically twins! Rockin' the J. Crew.

67 Miles and a Massage

2009-05-10T20:13:00.012-04:00

Enough fooling around, it's back to the fitness front (and front is the correct word, because it certainly feels like a war):
Saturday, I ran 4 miles in the a.m. with the HIPsters. This might not sound like much, but I must confess, since the 10k debacle I have been REALLY mad at running. No kidding. I boycotted it for 10 straight days. (Which, for the record? I don't really recommend.)

I gave in to its whimpers on Wednesday, running 3 miles in the rain, and it was back to its usual tricks of letting me know that it would take another 10 weeks to regain what I'd lost in 10 days. Another 3 on the treadmill on Friday morning brought me to a whopping total of 10 miles last week.

Saturday: Pre-Mothers' Day:

Number One Daughter was out of town, cavorting with some astronauts down at Cape Canaveral on Mothers' Day weekend, but sent me a mysterious e-mail with these directions

btw...3:45 pm Saturday you are going to this address:
2471 18th St NW
(between N Adams Mill Rd & N Belmont Rd)
Washington, DC 20009
(202) 320-0250
BUT don't look up the address or anything ahead of time! i just watned [sic: we're authentic here at NBTR headquarters] you to have it in an email!

Fun! I adore surprises! Was it botox? Liposuction? BACHELOR #3?????

Even better! It was a massage, from here. Hot stones, and a masseuse who worked on my shoulders and neck until I thought I would cry. In a good way.

Sunday: Happy Mothers' Day!

Then it was early to bed so I could get ready for an 8 a.m. clip-in, to ride the Eagleman bike course, some 2.5 hours away in beautiful Cambridge, Maryland (land of the Tobymeister). What better way to celebrate Mothers' Day?

There was a 37-mile option, or a 56-mile option. My longest ride to date has been 30 miles...and that was just last week! Of course I chose 56-miles. (I have a blog to write, people!)

Things were good for 30 miles. I hung with the pack, we practiced drafting (this is actually hair-raising) we were talking, laughing, taking in the sights, nature, osprey, butterflies, frogs, turtles, peacocks. Life was good. Except for the wind.

It was windy.

OK, I know people say "It was REALLY windy," and you know, they mean the wind was blowing.

This wasn't like that.

This was the kind of wind that makes you wonder WHY THEY AREN'T EVACUATING people. But don't take my word for it, let's ask Tuan, who can actually, you know, ride:

The ride was a 56 miles single loop ride on as flat roads as you will find. The wind was just relentless. Is it possible for the wind to blow in 4 different directions at once ? There were parts where the headwind was so strong that when I turned to my left, the headwind followed my head to become a left crosswind. I turned to my right and it followed me there too. I turned around to look behind me and you'd guessed it ... son of a gun was waiting for me. It was like getting bitch slapped by four women at once.

Like that.

We all had cue sheets (bike talk for "directions") but there were also bright pink fluorescent markings on the pavement all along the route that said "EM thisaway" or "EM thataway" ("EM"=Eagleman, "thisaway"=arrows pointing the way). At 30 miles the cue sheet said turn RIGHT, and the pink fluorescent marking said LEFT. Some of us went right. For 4.5 miles. Until ONE of us (THANK GOD—and SHANNON!) realized, um, this is the wrong way.

Oh, how innocent and carefree we were pre-mile 30!

And then there were four. I was still OK, amazed that I could even turn the pedals. Still in relatively good spirits.

It's amazing the panoply of emotions one goes through when stuck in a (somewhat) desperate situation. Resignation, denial, acceptance. Bargaining with God. ("Please just stop the wind for a minute and I promise to join a convent!")

And tell me please, WHY I had to have the refrain from this song playing ENDLESSLY in my brain? For four solid hours.

I started wondering whether it was possible for the wind to actually read a map. I mean, maybe when man created roads, he altered the wind currents. It's a theory I entertained while riding along (the appropriately named) Egypt Road for 7 long, endless, slogging miles, where I think I entered another realm. No matter which way the road went, the wind came directly at me. It was ALIVE!

I fell way behind. I couldn't take it! But I had the best bike buddies ever, and they had all waited for me as I made the long Exodus out of Egypt (Rd). We had 10 miles left. I almost wept for joy. My thoughts turned to pancakes. And crabcakes, chocolate milk and ice cream sundaes.

I don't know how but I finally made it back. I peeled myself off the bike, anxious to see which parts of me would remain on the bike. Luckily, everything was intact.

We high-fived. Some crazy people went for a run. We drove to Paneras and I got a PB&J sandwich and chocolate milk off the kids menu, and then suited up for the long long ride home.

It was the best day of my life and I can't wait to do it again.

The Dating Game*

2009-05-05T19:35:00.010-04:00

Circa 1970

Ah, back then life was simple. And all you had to do to get a date was be a big pop star and go on TV and ask a bunch of questions of guys you've never met...hey, wait a minute!

See Match.com.

A few posts ago, I promised you an update on my ~~life~~ LOVE life.

First, let's review:

A while ago, I signed up for match.com and this happened.

A while after that, I signed up for e-harmony and that happened.

And then? I gave up.

But a girl gets...lonely. And dreamy. And whachagonna do? I signed up yet AGAIN for match.com.

But ... believe it or not... I got no response. Zero. Crickets. Moths.

Knowing FULL well there was NO WAY this could be due to MOI ... I turned to the one person who is my resident expert on... well, just about everything: fashion, wine (that would be her every other post), closet-organizing, rolling, and of course, men: Runner Susan. I begged her to examine my match profile and to BE BRUTAL. (Not that I was desperate. But still.)

She did not disappoint.

Here's what she said (I am NOT making this up):

Have you ever watched matchmaker millionaire? [Ed's note: Sadly, I have.] All men are pigs. Even the smart ones. And no matter who they are, how much money they have, how cute or how sophisticated they are - men want boobs and legs. And, OMG Jeanne, you got all the right assets we just gotta work it into a picture without making you look like a whore. That's one of my best talents.

Can I just say here that I ADORE Runner Susan???

Wait, there's more!

Also, men are really going to be intimidated by your intelligence. You list of achievements is gonna make any man feel under-accomplished. They say they want the smarts, but that is not what they look at first. Boobs. You got 'em, lets work them. Don't take this the wrong way, but the first thing Michael said was when I showed him your picture was "I love her face, but does she have boobs?". It's a sad, sad thing - but give the men what they want then you can reel them all in and weed out the bad ones. Because even the good ones want boobs. I totally sound like a prostitute. I swear, I'm not.

Also, I was a bit surprised to see Sarcasm on your turn-offs. Jeanne and sarcasm are like PB & J sandwiches. And you might want to rethink erotica and flirting as turn-offs. I know what you are thinking, but some men may see it as someone who never ever wants to have sex. And everyone wants sex. Everyone. And all the time. I don't make up the rules, it's just a fact of life.

Who am I to argue??! Clearly I am a rank amateur when it comes to these matters.

So I hunkered down and tweaked my profile. I removed my college degrees (why not, it's an experiment people!), and I took off any mention whatsoever of sarcasm, flirting and erotica. (For the three of you have yet to experience the joys of match.com, the way it works is you get a pre-defined list of "turn-ons" and "turn-offs"; you can check the box under "turn-on" or "turn-off" or "no opinion". If you check no opinion, that item doesn't appear.)

I didn't have time to go get a boob shot (for which we can all be grateful).

I hit publish.

The next day?

FIVE E-MAILS. Like, from real guys.

FIVE.

FIVE! Coincidence??? I think not!

RS=brilliant.

So, after a bit of e-mailing and phone calls, I winnowed it down to three guys—one of whom grew up one block from me in New Haven. What are the chances??!

All three are into either running, biking, or swimming or some combination.

And tonight I screwed (careful) up my courage and had my VERY FIRST MATCH.COM meetup. We met at a local pub, chatted, blah blah, etc. No sparks, but I got the first one out of the way. It's possible I had a drink. Or two. Which may or may not have been a good idea. Still, I was on my best behavior; I followed all my friends' advice: Be yourself (only not too much); don't tell him you FB-stalked him; skip the part about not having had a real date in <cough> years; don't talk too much; don't interrogate him; don't talk too little, etc.

$%#!@ It's worse than a freakin' job interview! Which is of course, pretty much what it is.

Guy #2 is set for Saturday. Of course I've found all of them on facebook, and googled them and know more about them than they know about themselves. (People, you should really protect your online info. Just sayin'.)

These three guys are all my age or older, so of course are looking for 35-year-olds. This should be interesting.

Huge shout-out to RS for saving my love life.

She just might have to officiate at the wedding.

*Currently accepting applications.

The Week After the Week That Was

2009-04-30T20:04:00.006-04:00

I know I owe you all a love-life update but I ran outta time, so it will just have to wait! (And that sentence right there could quite possibly completely substitute for the update.)

After an action-packed week of the Boston Marathon (spectating, not running, for you new people out there), a fantastic 20-mile bike ride, and the Pike's Peek 10K...I'm a lost soul.

My beloved Speed Development Program held its awards banquet on Tuesday, and I was sad. I was sad because I didn't win a damn thing! To get a certificate suitable for framing you had to have decreased your pace at the Pike's Peek 10k by one minute over (under?) the pace group you were assigned to in January 2009.

I was in the 10:30 pace group.

My Pike's Peek pace: 10:38.

Not certificate-worthy!

It sorta kinda looks like I increased my pace by :08. Which is totally a lie. Even if technically true.

Sigh.

I really thought I was going to get the Spirit Award! Or the Showing Up Award! The Bravest??

I'm not bitter.

(I'm so bitter.)

I have no other road races planned. Just Nation's Oly tri in September, another Oly in August and a sprint in June.

So tonight I started toying with the idea of marathon training. It's just a phase, I think. I don't actually want to run another marathon, silly. Do I??

Meanwhile: Here's a good story. I only managed to get one swim in while in Boston last week, and man, was I fast!!! I finished 1500 yards in 30 minutes. Holy crap! Except...um...wait...a...minute.

As I climbed out of the pool, impressed with my prowess, I took a look back, squinting through my odd prescription goggles. And then took another look at my time. And then? I decided to ask the lifeguard that fatal question: Err, how long is this pool?

Answer: 20 yards.

As in: Not 25 yards.

As in 100 ≠ 4 laps.

As in 4 laps = 80.

Sigh.

And: I seem to have lost a bra somewhere between D.C. and Boston. No kidding. Not a regular one either. A specially-fitted one that cost a chunk of change!

I should have sewn my address into the label.

Pike's Peek 10K 2009 Race Report

2009-04-26T11:05:00.006-04:00

"Homo proponit, sed Deus disponit"
—Thomas a Kempis

"God laughs while men make plans."
&mdashsomebody

OFFICIAL RESULT:
April 26, 2009, Pike's Peek 10K:
NET: 1:06:03
PACE: 10:38
PLACE: 51/77
AGE: 52

It was hot, and I tanked. The end.

Technically, this is a 17-second PR, if you don't count the 10K PRs I set in the Cherry Blossom 10 miler, or the National Half. (Which I apparently AM counting.)

I've been training for this race, the goal race of the Montgomery County Road Runners Club Speed Development Program, since JANUARY.

We ran in cold, wind, rain, snow, and ice. We did endless repeats. When there was too much snow on the track we ran in the surrounding neighborhoods, at night, in the dark. I missed ONLY two track workout in this 15-week program.

What I'm saying is: I DESERVED to run fast! Right?? Wrong!

My goal: 60 minutes.

Some predictions:

My coach: 10:00 min miles. Coach said: "In general, I’ve noticed (over the years) about a 15 to 30 sec per mile improvement over the pace group I put you in at the beginning of the year." (He's been running this program for 7 years.) My pace group was 10:30. Sorry, big fella!

McMillan's Happy Prediction, based on my 10 mile PR of 1:47:02: 1:03:52

McMillan's Freakishly Accurate Prediction, based on my 1/2 mary PR of 2:27:36: 1:06:20

I have to admit I had a hate on for this race. I hate the course, which is 6.2 miles of a suburban asphalt jungle. No trees. No scenic nothing. Just strip malls, and cars. I don't even like driving on this road. Maybe I just couldn't deal with the heat (oh yeah, here's another race where they ran out of water cups! is there a cup shortage in D.C.??). Temps were 75F with 85 percent humidity. But quite possibly? The runner just didn't have it.

I had carefully planned to follow Coach Tom's advice, which is so good I'll just repeat it all here:

The most important thing I hope you take away from this program is a sense of pacing. Some of you needed to learn that you could still run harder even when you felt bad and some of you need to learn how to slow down to run a more even pace. In any case the most important aspect of becoming a better runner is to learn to listen to your body and adjust the pace accordingly. The better you become at that, the more successful you will become as a runner and racer.

...Start the race by feeling like you are holding yourself back...you want to hit those miles about 5 sec slower than your targeted pace. The middle two miles should be run at targeted pace. You will hit the up hills in this section, stay relaxed and don’t push too hard up the hills, save it for the downhills. The last 2.2 should be run about 5 sec per mile faster than pace. Remember to give yourself a little mental push around Congressional Plaza as you will start to feel bad around then and need to remind yourself to keep pushing the pace. Once you hit the 6 mile mark run as fast as you can into the finish. It’s a giant downhill so there is no excuse not to go really fast. You can make up for a lot of earlier mistakes in the race in this last downhill so take advantage of it.

Oh the plans I had! I scripted it all on the back of my hand:
Miles 1 & 2: 10:05, Miles 3 & 4: 10:00, Miles: 5 & 6: 9:50

Cleverly dismissing Coach Tom's advice, here's what I did instead:
Mile 1: 9:25
Mile 2: 9:44
Mile 3: 10:18 (just doing brilliantly! Not!)
5K: 30:31
Mile 4: 10:21
Mile 5: 12:34 (just gave up. Why? WHY???)
Mile 6: 11:50
.2: 1:52

On a good note, they had great food at the end! And despite my poor showing, I highly recommend this program. I set significant PRs at every distance—other than the one we trained for—over the course of this program. Coach Tom is truly outstanding.

PREVIOUS 10ks:

Nov. 27, 2008: Bethesda YMCA Turkey Chase:
NET: 1:06:20
PACE: 10:41
PLACE: 59/89
AGE: 51

May 14, 2006: YMCA Mother's Day 10k:
NET: 1:07:15
PACE: 10:49
AGE: 49

Dec. 11, 2005: Jingle All the Way, D.C.:
NET: 1:08:22
PACE: 11:00/mile
AGE: 48

"What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger."
—somebody else

Boston Marathon 2009 Spectators' Report

2009-04-24T20:21:00.014-04:00

I flew to Boston on Sunday to visit with ye olde college roommate, the photojournalist, Renee, and to catch Thomas and Ray in action on Monday, Patriot's Day, the 113th Boston Marathon.

After much texting and e-mailing back and forth about who would be where when [sample: Thomas: "What mile will we be at? Well, I'll start at mile 0 and will end at mile 26.2, visiting all the miles in-between in ascending order ...."; Ray: "No idea what pace aside from first wave. I’d guess though somewhere in the low 7’s seems like it’ll be fun and casual." SO VERY HELPFUL BOTH OF YOU], we decided on two viewing sites: first, between miles 13 and 14, and last, between miles 22 and 23.

We got there nice and early. Early enough to see this!

Elite women, mile 14ish

and this:
Marching people.

and this:

Team Noah was bookin' it.

and this:
#8858 Richard Whitehead, 32 M Nottingham GBR (in case you couldn't tell where he's from) 3:02:44 6:58 min./mile.*

As usual, I dressed for success:
Why won't people tell me I look crazy before I leave the house??? WHY??? Oh, and that's Davey the Clown standing with me. He has ~~a rubber chicken sticking~~ my leopard-begloved hand sticking out of his head, and yes, he is holding a rubber chicken, yet—somehow—I look like the crazy one.*

My only defense is that it was chilly and windy. Of course you won't believe me when you see the following photos.

I saw Thomas at both locations. He was in the zone at the first sighting, which he explains in his race report.

Both these guys had let me know what they'd be wearing. Thomas: "I'm planning on wearing a bright orange singlet with "Star of the Laune A.C." printed on it. It should be rather distinctive."

Well, you'd think so, wouldn't you Thomas?

I saw 10,000 orange singlets. OK, maybe they didn't all say "Star of the Laune A.C." on them. Luckily Renee has a keen eye.

I believe what Thomas was trying to convey here was the sense of the whole being greater than the parts.*

Or, maybe just ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.*

Thomas was pulling down 6:50 minute miles. You know, the way you do in a marathon. If you are superhuman.

Ray, despite having let me know that he'd be wearing a BLUE singlet, eluded us. He was probably running backwards or something.

But eagle-eyed Renee caught Thomas again around mile 22ish:

Thomas reacts as he hears me screeching his name.*

He looks right as rain to me.*

Since I can count on exactly no hands the number of times an attractive young man has jumped out of a marathon to hug me, I was struck dumb. We communicated nonetheless. I highly recommend meeting someone for the first time this way.*

Ray was not far behind. In fact, he was exactly 11 seconds behind.

Ray takes time to tell me, "Jeanne, you're number one!"*

And...he takes my photo. One of 147 he will take along the course.*

My partners in crime:
l-r: Poor sad blog-less Bruce, Renee, Sarah

And after that I scurried downtown to meet Thomas, my camera ran out of batteries, I gave him some ~~crappy~~ fine, fine D.C. t-shirts, he gave me FINE CHINA from Ireland, I bought him some fried dough, we laughed, he cried, and then? He was gone.

There's more to this story but it will just have to wait.

Still to come: How Runner Susan saves Jeanne's love life.

*Photos courtesy Renee Dekona.

Headed for Boston

2009-04-18T20:42:00.005-04:00

Yes, I'm heading for the Boston Marathon.

Did I forget to mention that?

I've been saying this all week at work, and some people actually thought I'd be running it. Oh, I crack myself up.

No, I'm going to watch D.C. Rainmaker and, from across the pond, Thomas from Diary of a Rubbish Marathoner, break the sound barriers. I hope to actually meet Thomas, cuz I have a few sweet presents for him from D.C. (sorry, Ray, don't be sad), and at least get good photos of both.

I'm staying with my college roommate and meeting a former work colleague, both of whom happen to be professional photographers. I will try to cajole them into taking photos for me, because mine will probably suck.

In other news, I failed to set any PRs this weekend. (I know, hard to believe, right?) Instead, I did a 6-mile preview run of next Sunday's Pike's Peek 10k, the target race for my speed development program. We met at 6:30 a.m. and ran down Rockville Pike, which has been described as "an asphalt jumble of car dealerships, strip shopping centers and fast-food restaurants," which is putting it kindly. It was gross.

I drove home, showered, changed, and raced up to Centennial Park, Columbia, MD, for D.C. Tri's annual brick-nic, which you may remember from last year.

I remember being on a hybrid bike last year and not being able to ride the full 17.5 miles. I remember walking up one hill. It was brutal.

This year I hung out with some New New triathletes and the memories came flooding back! All those worries about clipless pedals and flying downhill, riding in traffic, and falling over. Wait...that was just last week.

I could definitely see the difference in my fitness level. This year I did the full distance, managed all the uphills, and felt fine, even on not-so-fresh legs. Everything was perfect. Well, it would have been perfect if Henry Ford had never been born. I felt quite homicidal by the end of the ride because of the $#!@ cars that sped by every few seconds. I especially appreciated the pickups that drove close to me on purpose and then leaned on the horn. Helps to get the old heart rate up.

Since I had already run, I got to skip the Brick part of the Brick-nic, which is just as well, because I couldn't really stand up straight afterwards. All I can say is: Four months of spinning does not equal four months of cycling. Ah well.

The gang.

Modeling the latest in headbands.

Next: How Runner Susan singlehandedly changed my love life.

Then She Ran the Firebirds Mile

2009-04-15T19:30:00.021-04:00

The people spoke.

Poll Results:
Firebirds Mile: 57.9%
Regular workout: 38.6
And 5.3 percent of you wanted me on the couch watching "Housewives"?? WTF?!

So I listened. (And I still got home in time for "Housewives." Sweet!)

The Firebirds Mile, held 4/14, is a joint effort of the Gaithersburg Firebirds Youth Track Club and the Montgomery Country Road Runners.

As usual, after battling D.C. traffic all the way to God's little acre, I was in a foul mood. My stomach was doing flipflops, and I was resigned to an 11 min mile. Plus, it was, yet again, raining, cold, and windy. Perfect.

My coach had sent directions about how to prepare: One mile warmup, 800m of strides (something like "run hard on the straights and jog the turns").

My legs felt encased in cement as I warmed up, and I just knew this was gonna suck. Afterwards, I got off the track to watch the 1/4 mile fun run, and my warmed-up muscles evaporated in the cold.

If you are ever in a bad mood, please, go cheer for a bunch of toddlers as they participate in a fun run. Hiiiilarious! They skip, race, walk, stop, turn around, ask to be carried, run, whatever. As one little guy approached the chute, he stopped to fiddle with his shoe.

You know, kind of the way I run a half-mary!

There weren't that many adults there, at least not that many adults my age. That meant there was the wild possibility that I might win my AG.

We were sent out in heats (or COLDS, as I prefer to call them), slowest to fastest. Heat one was for expected finish times greater than 10:00. I considered this, because hello, that's kinda my speed. But when I saw the competition, I just couldn't bear the thought of having my butt kicked by these guys:

(Heat One, 10 minutes and slower)

Heat two was for expected finish times greater than 9:00 up to 10:00

(Heat two. I so wanted to get in front of these kids, it took all my self-restraint. That, plus the derision of others. I'm wearing a white hat, looking down.)

(Those kids had a totally unfair advantage. I'm still in the back, checking my watch.)

I started conservatively. I really wanted to do this in 9:something. I'd been doing 800s in 4:30ish, so I figured this was a possibility.

I passed a few kids, and said "Great job!," cuz I'm nice like that.

At the first lap, I was behind a line of grownups. We were running in formation:

Then, suddenly, I made my move, by swinging wiiiiiide outside:

Slowly but surely, Mr. Run for the Roses was going DOWN:

I passed all of the grown ups, except the Roses guy!

Oh, honey, I know exactly how you feel:
Her coach came out and ran with her, and she recovered nicely. Well done!)

But I passed her too.

And then in a surprise come-from-behind, I passed Mr. Roses. Here I am flying into the chute, after having tossed my hat off during lap three, cuz it was cramping my style:
(For the record? I am at my skinniest EVER, and I totally deny looking like this. White is ever-so-NOT-slimming.)

Final time:
8:56.63
3/5
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to tell you, there is no greater feeling on earth than starting behind and passing a pile of people. I don't care if they are 3 feet tall, or a bunch of old geezers like me, it was AWESOME!

I finally got a mile that starts with an "8"!

I can't wait to do that again.

Even Stupid People Know to Come In Out of the Rain

2009-04-13T21:10:00.009-04:00

Another chapter in the long-playing saga of Not Born to Run.

A 12-mile run was scheduled on Saturday...unless there was a New Triathlete Program bike ride, which I had volunteered to help out on, but which was going to be canceled if the weather turned yucky...

So I figured the bike ride was canceled on Saturday morning, since it was raining and 30F AND windy. A trifecta of crap! A crapecta! Bike ride off, 12 mile run on! I pulled on my running duds, got in the elevator, went down to the front door, opened it, stepped outside...and no. No way. Back in the elevator, back upstairs, right to my door. Stop. "C'mon! You can DO this! You've done it a million times before!" Back to the elevator, back downstairs, out the front door, this time down the steps, where I stood there...and No. Way. Not Happening.

Back upstairs and into a toasty warm bed.

Too bad the bike ride was actually ON. I had now effectively skipped two workouts. This? Made me cranky.

It's possible that I was tired. (Have I mentioned before that I'm TIRED?? Thanks for all your fine, fine advice!) It didn't help that my neighbors have all decided to go beserk at the same time. Friday night, my downstairs neighbors decided to stand on the balcony--JUST BELOW the window that my bed is against—and SMOKE, and talk and yell at the top of their lungs. We called the cops not once, but three times. It's possible that someone in my apartment leaned over my balcony and yelled at them. Just to make sure they knew exactly who called the cops.

Sigh.

Sunday dawned bright and clear and chilly, after another night of different neighbors going beserk on their balcony, so I had to sweet-talk myself into getting at least 10 miles done. I brought Phedippidations along with me—I've been running iPod-less for the past year at least, so this was a big treat—and I got 'er done. Number One Daugher and I had a lovely Easter, and I ate about 10 lbs of chocolate.

My fifth swim lesson was this morning. My instructor had me swimming on my back with fins, working on my kick, and? I was drowning. I mentioned this to her, and she said, "I'm not really concerned with that right now, I'm concentrating on your kick." She cracks me up. She's been timing my 50s, which is freaking nerve-wracking, and in one week I went from 1:04s to :53s. Of course I'm tossing up a lung at the end.

Tuesday night is my last track workout in the Speed Dev Program! My how time ... sort of flies. Not really. I both look forward to and loathe the end of track. But tomorrow night we have the choice of doing a track workout, or doing the Firebird mile race. Which sounds pretty horrifying. I need some solid advice from the masses. Crowdsource me. Take my handy dandy poll:

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