I'm Drawing A Blank.

And I'm Gettin' Older

2011-06-27T00:29:00.001-04:00

For the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe. I'm in Vermont. I'll tell you later. Promise.

Fear Of Missing Out

2011-02-05T16:23:00.000-05:00

"With a bit of luck his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks of things he'll never know." -Hunter S. Thompson My god. I need to write more.

And The Beat Goes On

2010-09-23T22:10:00.000-04:00

It's hard to look at things I've written and not feel exactly how I felt at that exact moment. This was right before I woke up in a hospital. And no one knew. Because I felt too ashamed to tell anyone because it had happened over a boy. Stupid. And why am I spilling all this now? What the hell do you care? Well, because I guess this is just growing up. --------- I stepped out onto the

Last Night in Paris

2010-09-23T20:16:00.000-04:00

I'm a pretty terrible friend. This is true because on any given day at least one person in the world who hates me used to love me. A lot. Something about my personality or sociopathy or blatant disregard for morals just turns people off but what can you do? Ce la vie. There's really only one person I really gave a damn about hurting and I met her in Paris. We're all well and good now, but in

I go out on Friday night and I come home on Sunday morning

2010-09-01T23:04:00.005-04:00

I don't pay rent to live here. I pay rent for the storage space. "There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter--the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there

2010-08-30T20:30:00.000-04:00

No matter how many people I talk to who tell me I did the right thing and everything is going to be okay, I can't stop the twisting, gnawing feeling growing in the space above my stomach every time I take a breath. Whether I was right or wrong, I want to stop feeling like this. A week ago I was happy. How the fuck did I end up in this place?

2010-07-14T14:36:00.000-04:00

"Women never want sensibility, all they want is a kind of emotional vindictiveness toward somebody else they care for too much. Women are basically stupid animals but concentrate so much and entirely upon the male that they often defeat him while he is thinking of other things." -"Notes of a Dirty Old Man"

From the Mess to the Masses.

2010-07-13T20:22:00.007-04:00

There is some weird poetic shit I found on my computer some weeks ago after the Celtics lost to the Lakers and a girl walked around shoving Bushmills all up in my face. Here it is! -- So im in THIS place again… everyone is her and I cant think straight. #GoAwayPlease. Celts lost #NBA fuch THIS dude.. #Pawn said get lost… he said “but YOUR eyes are different” “PLEASE go away” get outta

The title would give it away.

2010-07-01T19:39:00.005-04:00

What happened first was I fucked his friend, nearly everyday at 4 am for four months. Then he got it in his head to try the same, to call in the middle of the night when he knew I'd be drunk, to play the "I'll pay for your cab" card then spend hours in uninterrupted monologue, feeding me micro brewed beers that smelled like strawberries, drawing out the reasons we should have sex and how much I

All of this means nothing.

2010-06-29T18:07:00.007-04:00

It's summer. And it's fucking hot. I haven't posted anything since I moved back to New York. That's strange. Three months ago I packed up for the thousandth time and made my way back to Brooklyn. In three months I've gotten a job, hated the job, walked a dog, gotten drunk, gotten high, seen boys, said "later" to boys, laughed, cried, lost a friend, got a "boyfriend", and slept more than should be

Westerly

2010-06-27T17:49:00.003-04:00

Working on this story. Rip it to shreds.-----She began drinking right away, taking off her jacket and dipping into the vodka and gin stock hidden in a cabinet along one of the walls. She fixed him a drink, as she always did, and he accepted it but didn’t touch it, as he always did. The first she downed in a few easy gulps then generously poured another. They sat together on a wool couch and

2010-02-15T03:09:00.002-05:00

I was on Platform just now reading about being a teenager in the 80s and I realized just how much of a dream boat Anthony Michael Hall was/is. This poor dude was typecast by John Hughes as the adorable nerd who never really gets the girl (Weird Science excluded) but still manages to find a way into our hearts because deep down inside there's a Farmer Ted in all of us. I would like to personally

2010-02-11T19:36:00.001-05:00

A writer is a "sea of spiritual protoplasm, capable of flowing in all directions, of engulfing every object in its path, of trickling into every crevice, of filling every mold."-Aldous Huxley, Point Counter Point

Vacation Nation.

2010-02-10T18:45:00.006-05:00

I just got back from the most unthought out vacation I've ever had. And it was amazing. I plan on doing more, or, rather, not planning on doing a thousand. I am currently so sleep deprived my body feels like it's floating above my unconscious and my motor skills are working of their own accord it is very much so blowing my mind. So until I am able to think straight and can relate to you the

I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life.

2010-02-05T03:47:00.005-05:00

Tonight, driving home and singing along to Celine Dion on KOSI 101, I was thinking back to the conversation I had just had with my ex-bf, the one damping things by moving to New York. We were talking about "us" and how I hate him and blah blah blah and he brought up the fact that he never wanted to lie to me, never would lie to me, hoped there would be no secrets between us. To this I nearly shit

...in which I share a page out of my gournal.

2010-02-02T06:19:00.005-05:00

Front page, August 28, 2008-December 10, 2008In case of loss, please return to: it takes strength to be gentle and kind. [Hot Chip quote.]As a reward: $ friendship [I stole that from Ted. Thanks Ted!]A READ! tattoo I got at the NYU library next to a quote: "Hence the frightening sadness of all effigies which brood tragically over their comic grimaces." - Bruno Schultz, Streets of Crocodiles Front

2010-01-31T20:33:00.003-05:00

I heard some rather distressing news last night I thought I would share. It seems my ex-boyfriend is moving back to New York at the end of the month. This really puts a damper on things.In related news, last week I entered this Live The Damages NYC Lifestyle contest, so, you know, fingers crossed and whatever.Do you watch the show Damages? If not, you should. It has given life to my new "Plan B"

10 Movies You Should Dress Like

2010-01-30T12:19:00.006-05:00

So last week Street Carnage posted this little diddy about 10 old movies women should dress like. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed. Not even a little bit. Here is my list of the 10 old movies women should copy, which, as you know, is the highest form of flattery. You're welcome. 1. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, 1992Kristy Swanson killed it (no pun intended) with the wardrobe in this movie. Hot

2010-01-30T10:30:00.003-05:00

I've never seen this movie, but how depressing is this montage?She's Having a Baby, John Hughes 1988ps: How much of a fox is Kate Bush? Like, really.

sleep mix #1

2010-01-29T03:00:00.001-05:00

Here's a song I have on a playlist entitled: sleep. Santo & Johnny - Sleep WalkMost know it as the song from La Bamba, one knows it as the moment she found out her sister was gone. But all I see when this song plays in the dark are two people dancing in the sand, near the water, under a dock by the boardwalk while the guitar riffs drift lazily into the ocean from the bandstand and lights just

2010-01-28T00:30:00.015-05:00

Sometimes when I'm taking off my tights I get scared I'm going to rip off my anklet. Then I remember I haven't worn and anklet since 10th grade. I also have a vodka stash in a suitcase in my room so my mother doesn't think I'm an alcoholic. I think I may be going in the wrong direction. Oh. I can't stop listening to these songs, nor do I want to.Miriam Makeba - Pata PataRosemary Clooney - Mambo

2010-01-27T19:30:00.003-05:00

She sat and she thought about the sex they just had, how she did not come and how she thought it strange it did not matter. It never mattered. Not with him, not with the others. I've been using a lot of the same themes and emotions for the characters in my stories lately. Usually apathy, self-absorption, sociopathy, etc. etc. I've also been reading a ton of Fitzgerald and I'm on a

Two Thousand... Men?

2010-01-26T18:54:00.005-05:00

That is a lame title. I know this. But it was the only thing I could think of to rhyme with ten. Maybe hen? Len, like that super cool pop band I used to listen to in like fifth grade? Anyway, I'm sparking the fire (as they say) once again here at the lil' ol' bloggy blog. I intend to do more for my fellow man as the year keeps on keepin' on. I'm terribly bad at keeping promises, though, so don't

Two Thousand Fine: November & December

2009-12-24T14:41:00.004-05:00

November & DecemberThese moths get mashed together because all that really happened were a lot of Andrew quotes, I got a job, Dary came to visit and it got really, really, really fucking cold. Oh, and cookies."Andrew just confessed his childhood obsession with Sandra Bullock. 'I was like mom can we see the Net? I love Sandra Bullock'" "Andrew about some girls at the bar- 'look at all those

Two Thousand Fine: October

2009-12-24T14:10:00.004-05:00

OctoberVacation nation. Back to colorful Colorado, helLA, NY for Halloween. I'll let the month speak for itself."Just remembered I was at a wedding reception last night that looked like it came straight out of the juggalo bible." "'You can park wherever the fuck you want with the hazard lights on'-Andrew" "On stealing a social security number: 'I AM YOU BITCH!'" "People watching in the City of