Not Yet A Woman

Of old memories

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 15:50:00 +0000

Memory is such a powerful thing. Notice how whenever we say we miss someone, we often find ourselves reminiscing the times we had with them. Quite frankly, we miss the memory of being with them more than them, themselves. The places we go to, the things we talk about, the things we do together. We miss their company. And that's the truth. Not that it's a bad thing, not at all. It's just, normal.

So last weekend was when my in-laws moved back to their hood, Kelantan. After staying elsewhere for decades. This last house, in particular, was where they stayed for the past 11 years. Naturally, it was bittersweet to leave the place. Bitter cause it's goodbye after so long, Sweet cause they're finally moving back to their hometown, for good.

My husband and I have been commuting back and forth ever since we got married. We'd stay overnight almost every weekend. It's when we'd be enjoying the company of a fairly big family, all under one roof, and it's also when my husband gets to enjoy his mom's cooking and escape mine ;p.

And that was it. 11years worth of memory. Memories of fun, laughter, pains and bruises of a couple with 8 children. Memories of them growing up, memories of them getting married, leaving the house, and finding their way back every now and then.

So long, Presint 10, Putrajaya.

Maybe baby

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 03:45:00 +0000

Maybe because I walk too fast,
Maybe that's why you didn't last.

Maybe because I fell and hurt my knee,
Maybe that's why you're no longer in my tummy.

Maybe because of the chores I didn't wanna let your daddy do,
Maybe that's why I'll never get to see you.

Maybe we're just not meant to be.
Maybe Allah has better plans for your daddy and me.

~Neena Kemp,
October 2014.

I guess the word is out

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Wed, 09 Apr 2014 15:45:00 +0000

How do i start.

Lemme tell you a story.

It started around 5-6 years ago. I was an RA at UPM. So my lecturer (or supervisor, or boss) calls me to her friend's office, to help two new students to register. They're starting their Master's degree. Gave them forms. End. Was busy shredding some exam question papers with a couple of friends and had a little chat with these two juniors. End. Heard stories and rumors. Heard confessions, a little bit, here and there. And then came the day i had to move back to my hometown. Was asked out for lunch a couple of days before. End. Birthdays, festive holidays, trips to the airport. And last november 2013, i was taken straight to Prep Day 1. T minus 5 months. And here i am, at T minus TEN days.

I've never actually considered myself as "the marrying type". Never had a boyfriend, never actually date. Never really thought anyone would like me enough to marry me. Never really thought i'd be brave enough to accept anyone to be my husband. But i've always wanted to be a mother. Was set on adopting a child (and even planning on breastfeeding) some time this year. But Allah is the best planner. And I'm thankful for the privilege. Alhamdulillah..

So i'm getting married! Isn't that surreal? Thank you for all your prayers, my friends. Thank you. Love.

Watch this space.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Sat, 15 Feb 2014 02:37:00 +0000

Something is brewing. Can you smell it?

I'm going on an adventure. In T minus 3 months.

Still can't believe I'm doing this.

Which would you choose

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 06:53:00 +0000

Would you,

Take a chance and may or may not have the best or WORST time of your life,

OR,

Stay where you are and secure a mediocre life.

Mediocre, but at least you know you'll always be safe.
Not the best--occasional meltdowns, but safe. Boring and sad, but safe.

Which one would you choose.

One year shy of 30

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 00:18:00 +0000

One year shy of 30.

A milestone, definitely.
Work, family, good ol' me,
Forced to grow inadvertently.

Wake me, slowly,
Shower me dry,
Tickle the life in me,
Side splitting till i cry.

Thank you, God, thank you.
I would not live this long without you.
Teach me, God, teach me.
To always put you first, topmost, for a better me.

~ Neena Kemp,
October 24th, 2013.

You caught me off guard

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 15:06:00 +0000

Dah banyak pulak post berderet. Can't help it. Suddenly things hit me all at once.

Suddenly,
you caught me off guard.

Anxiety disorder

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 01:26:00 +0000

Penat. These attacks are getting out of hand. The mere thought of something that particularly scares me...like deadlines, or being late, will send my little heart on a race, 180 kms per hour. Like i just did 10 laps in an olympic-sized swimming pool. Like now. Baru fikir je, dah laju. Lately i have this habit of just thinking about "being nervous" just before bed time and next thing i know, i'm gonna spend a few minutes getting my heart to beat normally before i can safely fall asleep. It's tiring, mind you. Exhausting.

I'm a naturally nervous person. I think most of my friends can agree to this. But as i grow, it has become a lot worse. Just yesterday, my heart was beating so fast, i broke into cold sweats and my body was shaking all over. Tak tipu. About an hour later i ended up crying my eyes out because of one tiny little thing. The anxiety overwhelms me like i can never imagine. Even as i type this, i can honestly say that my heart is racing. Something far from normal for someone who's in a resting position, with nothing to be nervous about in particular. These thoughts. They drive me crazy. I can feel how much it's draining my energy most days, and how it's slowly taking over my life.

Then again, i should probably get tested for thyroid disease. But i'm such a wimp.

Chill pill

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Fri, 06 Sep 2013 15:54:00 +0000

It seems this blog is filled with emotional posts that appeared as if they were written by a depressed adolescent. Haha but really, I’m not. They’re just my inner conflicts. They have battles with themselves every once in a while and coincidentally, those are the times when I‘m usually inclined to start writing. Most of us get ideas when we’re supposedly “emotionally distressed”. Iyolah tu.

But if you were to meet me in person, I’m not really all that depressed. Lol, at least I don’t think I am. You’ll probably see me as someone who cracks lame and stupid jokes most of the time. Because I’m a bundle of nerves. So nak kena cover. But I’m a bit on the sensitive side.. A bit of a crybaby. Hehe… But we shall not delve into that, now shall we? Let’s move on.

Time passes by so very quickly these days. It’s kinda hard to catch up. I’m still looking forward to a time when I can actually stop whatever I’m doing right now, and fly. See the beauty of the world instead of being stuck in that tiny little speck on the map.

Actually I don’t really have much to say. I was just trying to justify the lack of joy and laughter in this blog. It’s bound to affect people, and me in the long run. So smile, people, smile! It’s the least you can do. To strangers, most importantly. Unless they're creepy stalkers.

A some sort of Quarter-Life Crisis.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 05 Sep 2013 14:32:00 +0000

I'm so used to pushing people away it has become almost like a reflex. And you know as far as reflexes goes, chances to get rid of them are closer to none. But I'm learning. I am aware of the fact that I'm a crazy ball of emotions. Most of the time, a train wreck disguised as a shiny bullet train. But I'm blessed with the ability to recover fairly quickly. Trained myself to forget. And forgive. In God’s will.

Relationship is a scary thing. I find myself running away from “relationships" BEFORE they even start. I’m at the age where a ‘fling’ is probably out of the question. Once i allow myself to be involved in any form relaionship, you can bet it’s gonna be “crunch time” heading straight for the wedding bells. LOL.

And that’s what scares me. I overthink things. I'm not the most patient, and definitely not the most rajin. What if he got tired of me. What if I got bored of him. What if it doesn’t work out. What if I’m not worth holding on to. Darn insecurity is eating me alive.

I'm simply paranoid. And I hate it. But I have my reasons. I'd say they are VALID reasons. But still, I hate it. Because it might cost me a happy marriage. It might cost me a full life. But I can’t. Not yet. I should get over this crazy paranoia as soon as possible. I say this to myself over and over again. Still, I'm not convinced.

This not-so-sudden need to get a grip and stop pushing people away, is not mainly because of peer pressure, mostly because I'm just worried. And my maternal instincts are killing me! I just can't wait to make use of my younger years raising children who will grow up filled with love for Allah, His prophet, for me (and their dad), and for the rest of the world. I even made plans to adopt if I'm still no where near marriage the moment i turn 30. But the more i think about it, i realize there are thousands other married couples out there who are still waiting in line for adoption. So maybe i should wait? But argh there's so many "but"s in my vocabulary. So many "can't"s. Help me I'm a walking sad case.

Pre-wedding jitters

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Fri, 31 May 2013 08:22:00 +0000

Hold on. Before any of you starts getting any ideas, no I'm not getting married. Not any time soon, at least.

Now that we have that sorted out, let's talk. My childhood bestie is getting hitched. Next month. On the 13th. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but i think I'm experiencing a some sort of pre-wedding depression.

We grew up together, I've known her since before i even started kindies. Sleepovers, countless bike rides, alley adventures, birthday parties, tuition classes, piano classes, neighbourhood pranks, crazy dog chase, video games, Mount Kinabalu climb, home made ice creams, swimming pool weekends, matching outfits, pengawas yg suka ambik kesempatan, jammed-school-toilet-door catastrophe, Mother's day recitals, making up corny songs, and who can forget, ~~stupid~~ secret clubs (Creative Creaters Club? OMG we even have our own oath and membership cards and everything T_T)

And then, when we were 15, her family moved to Melaka. That was really hard for me. I was so used to walking across the road to her house for no reason at all. I miss dialing her house number that i still know by heart. I felt so alone. She's always been a part of me. I mean, my mom made us wear matching mickey mouse tights for goodness sake! LOL.

We kept in touch, we wrote letters... And then I flew to Sabah, she flew to Australia. E-mail, Friendster, Facebook. That was it. We meet up a few times every now and then. Either i flew over or vice versa.

And now..we're both turning 29.

One day, just before dinner, I received a picture via whatsapp. Of her and her mother and two other Makciks. One of the makciks were slipping a ring on her finger.

Don't get me wrong, of course I'm happy for her. It's like when your sister/brother gets married, you're bound to get more or less depressed right? I mean, that's when you begin to realize that everything will never be the same again. That's when you remember all the good times you used to have. That's what's going on with me right now. Memories and the inevitable future are all jumbled up in my head and all i can do is just march forward. One step at a time, kan.

It's happening very soon and I have to buckle up. I can't wait! Tapi i have to admit i'm sort of dreading it at the same time. Mixed feelings la senang cerita. Whatever it is, I will try not to break down and cry my eyes out...too much ( But where's the fun in that?) haha... and plus, I'm the pengapit.

Please don't faint.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:02:00 +0000

I gave myself quite a scare last week. I almost passed out.

It was like any other day, i was at my desk, staring at the computer screen, doing the things i do everyday.

When all of a sudden, I felt a slight headache coming. Not really a headache, but my head was...spinning. I tried to ignore it for awhile, thinking it was nothing, took a sip of water, and continued with what i was doing. It won't go away, so i drank some more, and rested my head for a while. No, it was definitely not working.

So I made my way to the toilet (even swayed a bit). When i came out of the toilet, still there. I rushed back to my office and tried to calm myself down. A few deep breaths... Still nothing. The world was spinning really fast and i have no idea how to stop it! So i finally gave up.

I took my keys, lock my office, and hurried to the registration counter. ( I work at a hospital). My friends thought i was about to ask them for something related to work, so they smiled and even started a light chit chat with me. I was already panicking. They thought i was playing around, pretending to be a patient. I asked to see the doctor. I remember they said something about my face being pale and quickly hand me a little form to fill. I only manage to write my name. I couldn't think. I was having chills all over. I was about to pass out like, any minute now!! HELP!

Suddenly my friend came over with a wheelchair and ushered me to sit on it. I hesitated for a second thinking i don't need it. I just couldn't think straight. They rushed me to the ER and sat me on the bed. My heart was beating so fast i started talking nonsense. Scary. The doctor began asking me questions while my nurse-friends were busy checking my blood pressure and stuff.

After a while, after much help from my friends, i managed to calm myself down. My head finally stopped spinning, and the feeling of faint gradually disappeared. They did an ECG test on me. Mind you, it was QUITE embarrassing having the ECG done by your own colleague. But i don't know which one's worse. Orang yang kita kenal ke, orang yang kita tak kenal. Still, it was quite an ordeal. Hahahaha. The keyword is "button-up shirt". Trust me.

So i was ok in the end. Malu jugak since a few of my friends/colleagues came over to see what was wrong with me. Words were going around (via Whatsapp) that Neena was wheeled to the ER! Huhu.. Alhamdulillah. It was prolly just my hemoglobin count being lower than my usual low. Did a full blood test the next day and this came out.

No surprise there.

My hb count was probably lower the day before, which was why i almost fainted. Nothing much i can do about it anyway. I've always been "sort of anemic". And i will be "sort of anemic" for the rest of my life. Sekarang kalau pening sikit dah risau dah. Haha cuak kot. I've never fainted before and i'm not planning to start now. InsyaAllah, amin. Take care, people. Really.

For you, yes you.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 15:43:00 +0000

Considering the fact that i'm still living with my parents, the group of friends that i have around me at the moment, are at the very minimal. Since i'm back in my hometown, my friends are mostly my childhood friends. The ones i've known since kindergarten. No kidding. And since we practically grew up together, i'd say we're quite close. But then again, maybe not so much because right after we finished school, naturally, all of us went our separate ways.

And to be honest i think the years AFTER that was when we really GREW in an even bigger sense of the word. What i'm trying to say is, the friends we made during our late teens to early 20s are the different kind of friends. Even more so, we lived together, away from our parents. We survived together. Wake, sleep, study, go hungry, stay up late, be broke, together. I believe that made the bond stronger. But this is just my opinion, of course.

And then there's another point in my life, when i started living on my own, a while after i graduate. Almost the same kind of circumstances. But this time, in a much bigger scale. With a lot more responsibilities. Job, house rent, groceries, car, bills and what-have-yous. The friends i made around this time were, like me, on their way to pave their own paths to the adult life. Finding stability. Some found it in a significant other, some found it in their career, some found it in academic, some, still finding. Fortunately for me, these friends are the same ones that i made in my early twenties. And plus a bunch of great new ones!

And now that I'm back in my hometown. Where my life rarely goes out of the routine, my friends are just my colleagues. My childhood friends who are now all happily married, well we kinda grew apart because of the different lives we lead.

So since i rarely go out with my friends aka my colleagues, my life basically revolves around my family. As much as i love spending time with my family, i need a some kind of escape, every once in a while. i'm only human after all. So i began making new friends on Twitter. It's amazing. Then i started making friends on Instagram too! I would never have imagined. This day and age, anything's possible. Lol! I even managed to meet one of them. How cool is that! I have a few that i've become quite close with that i wish i could meet, someday. Hopefully, insyaAllah.

Thank you, friends. Each and every one of you. You won't believe how big of an impact you have in my life. We may not talk anymore, or chat on facebook anymore, just know that i appreciate you. All of you, have helped made me the person that i am today. I thank Allah for lending you to me, and i pray that Allah will make things easier for you, wherever you are. May we be blessed in this world and the hereafter, Amin.

In God's will.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 06:12:00 +0000

It couldn't have possibly been a year. I mean really? Really??!
Will you look at the size of that dust bunny.

Ok. Obviously, I'm bad at this. This whole keeping-up-with-my-schedule thing. Ah, well. Not much have happened anyway. Everyday it's the same old things. And I'm just about this close to exploding from the dullness of it all. I need to do something about it. I know. What's new. But being a single woman, with protective parents (for my own good, of course), there are a lot of things i need to consider. To make sure I keep my parents' headaches and anxiety at bay, to make sure they won't be worried sick about me.

So here's the plan. I'm thinking of making a few changes in my life. A few tweaks here and there. Something I've always wanted to do my whole life. I've sorta received a green light from le parents, so... the only thing left to do now is wait/ work for the right moment. Get everything settled, tie every loose ends, till I'm good to go. WHEN? I have absolutely no idea.

It's a giant step. A very tough, challenging one for sure. And the best (or worst) part about it is... i'm diving into it headfirst. Of course I'll be somewhat prepared, but this is different. This is new. This is me. There's gonna be a whole new chapter with fresh pages for me to write in. This time, with lots and lots of illustrations :).

Pray for me? Please and thank you ^_^

It's gonna be a heck of a ride. And I'm glad I'm gonna be sharing this with a confidante. InsyaAllah.

An 'open letter' to Ajie Chem

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 01:13:00 +0000

Hello Jie, by the time you read this, you are already someone's wife. A wife to another friend of mine. I'm so very happy for you. Can't believe it's been a little more than 8 years, I've been waiting for this day for THAT long. And i'm glad it's finally happened. I was there when it all started, and tomorrow, I will be there when it....starts again. A whole new chapter. A new beginning. InsyaAllah. And hopefully I'll be there to meet your children, and your children's children ;p. InsyaAllah.

I'm so happy for you. Both of you. (pause jap, sebak...)

I wish all the best for both of you. It won't always be easy, you know better. But Allah will help you along the way, my friends. Be strong, hold on. For each other. I will always pray for the best. For all my friends.

Selamat Pengantin Baru. Semoga perkahwinan anda berdua berada di bawah lindungan Allah selalu.

Love, Neena Kemp.

Can't sleep.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:26:00 +0000

It's 1:00 am and i can't sleep. And i have work tomorrow. Yes on a saturday. I work half day on saturdays.

So as i was saying, i've been tossing and turning, but my mind is still wide awake. I keep thinking about...things. Nonsense. Mostly. Teeny tiny little things that aren't supposed to matter but they bother you, still. I can't put my finger on exactly what they are but they're there. All jumbled up in my head. Lingering. Hanging. Auff.

I guess you can tell that i'm actually just typing away here. I don't really know what i'm talking about. I'm not making any sense but i keep going anyway. You shouldn't be reading this cause if you are, you're better off doing something else. Like watching the paint dry or something. Or have some nuggets or something.

I'm actually typing this with one eye closed. You see i'm myopic. But this rabunness has become so bad that without my glasses, i can't even read unless the thing's a few inches, say 15cms, away from my nose. And i have to focus with only one eye because the degrees for each eyes are relatively different. In short, i go juling without my glasses.

I'm babbling aren't i. Ok i better sleep now. Getting dizzy typing and seeing with only one eye. Plus silau summore in this darkness. Goodnight.

Here's my window. No edit, no filter. Just, window.

You reckon?

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:33:00 +0000

I reckon i should start blogging again. I want something to look back to as i go along. Some memories i can hold on to, not just vaguely in my head, and not exactly on print, either. Just here, floating around on the internet. Forever.

But mostly because i have access to my blog account on my phone now so i ran out of excuses NOT to update my blog (unless i don't have internet or the line's sucky 'fcourse). But i foresee my entries are gonna be shorter this time around. First, cause i'll be composing on my phone. Second, cause i'm so used to twitter already. But, i'll see what i can do ;p. So yeah.

Hmm..I have tons of unpublished drafts since yesteryear so i might come up with old, outdated news somewhere along the line. So, check out them old calender if you're interested. Cause i'll prolly publish them as per the date i drafted them so i won't get my chronology mixed up. Or something.
Till next time! Chiao!

Me and my uncoordinated self

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 10:24:00 +0000

I'm definitely a pro when it comes to embarrassing myself in front of everybody. But my specialty is of course, slipping and falling.

Ok.
Let me just list down a few off the top of my head.

In UMS alone,

I once fell in front of the library. Was walking alone at the time and I was quite sure nobody was looking.
I stumbled and fell hard and hurt my knee on my way up the stairs to my hostel room.
I knocked myself silly (with a BIG LOUD BANG) after I ran my head into a huge stupid sign board. (on my defense, the sign board was too low and i was walking with my head down) My friends were practically rolling with laughter for what seemed like hours.
And a few others..

One time I fell right outside the back entrance of Low Yat. And when I say Low Yat, u can bet there were many witnesses. And I fell to a prostrate position summore. Sujud ngkau. Lutut lebam sebulan. Sakit weyh time nak sujud betul-betul. Hahah!!

And just a few days ago I fell, not before I did a bit of some wiggly wobbly dance routine, on a bowling lane. Right after I released my ball down the lane.

*Maybe there's no need to mention I've also proudly threw the bowling ball backwards a coupla times before*

May I remind u that those were just SOME of my unfortunate moments. The truth is, these things happen to me ever since I can remember. Having scraped my knee ALMOST EVERYTIME I started running.

Dulu, laa...

Uuuuu...!! I remembered another one that happened end of last year. I got run over by a kid. The kid was on a bicycle. With training wheels. At the main entrance of a shopping mall in Penang. I nearly kissed the floor. No kidding. I was holding an open umbrella. Imagine.

Anyhoo, I came across this blog where the writer shares this wonderful trait with me. Her latest 'incident' cracks me up BIG TIME. I can totally relate.

And I think you should read it too. Lawak giler dowh. HERE. ^_*

I'm thinking my abnormally small feet have something to do with my terrible balance. But I'm not too sure =p

It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 06:26:00 +0000

Nice photography of muslim women like this, is quite rare on the net.

Know what my favourite part of this picture is? The scarf around the bag. And the bag. Simple n nice. Baju dia pn cantik. Simple. Xde corak apa pon. Hihi.

Hijabi Girls Trailer from alexandra viets on Vimeo.

Just found out about this video. It's pretty cool. Never knew there IS such a film.

So the truth is, women are like precious gems. Yes we are! hihi...

If you have something so precious and so incredibly expensive and so impossibly rare, would you leave it out in the open?

OF COURSE NOT! You would keep it safe in a locked box, maybe even in a bullet proof safety vault!

If you were to show it off pun, you would surely protect it with the highest possible level of protection, siap ada laser-laser lg kat tepi2 dia, dgn pakcik guard duduk sebelah pegang senapang. Kan?!

That's how we women ARE! GOD asked us to cover to protect us. Because we are special. *Ehem* It was never an act of oppression, like what you see on International TV.

So long as we understand the fact that whatever it is that God ask us to do is for our own good, we're good.

Like images of Virgin Mary, Mother Teresa, and many other pious women all over the world. There must be a reason why they cover, right? And they're definitely not oppressed.
^_^

Halololohhhh Omel Omel nyer dierrr...meghelip tawww.

I constantly have to remind myself of this. Because we are all learning, every second of the day. For we are merely human. We make mistakes, we rebel, we forget. But there's always chance to improve. ALWAYS.

BEFORE the day we breath our last breath. BEFORE the world crumbles into teeny-tiny pieces and dissappear entirely until all that is left is God alone. The one and only Allah. And only after that, we will be brought back to life, and suffer the consequences. *shivers*

Muka innocent je. Hugs!

It's NEVER easy to be a good person. To be a good servant of God.

So don't judge, until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Let Allah judge us. What's in our innermost hearts.

May Allah keep me grounded, shelter me with love and kind reminders, protect me from my own worst enemy ~ myself.

So yeah.

Muslim women are not oppressed. Quite the contrary, we are liberated.

If you're interested, check out this fiction from Umm Zakiyyah,

If I Should Speak

And a lot more from this incredible author. One of my favourites, without a doubt.

Check it out, check, check it out y'all.

-______-"

Ok Imma shut up now.

Looking for a place to rent?

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 02:08:00 +0000

*UPDATE*

THIS VACANCY IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

THANK YOU ^_^

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Haa....Berminat x? Ada swimming pool *wink wink

If you're interested, don't be shy, just drop by my friend's blog to check out more info.

.......................*slow classical music playing in the background*.....................

This was my home more than a year ago. Owh how much i miss it.

The cooking disasters, the open houses, the birthday surprises, the sleepovers, the midnight chats....Not to mention the tears and the guilt in between.

The truth is, I grew up so much in that very house.

The space is big. Bigger than most apartments we see these days. Make an appointment and come over to see for yourself. And the company? If you're a bit 'OFF' like us, you're gonna love them =p.

Excelsa di hatiku. FOREVER. ^_^

Selamat Pengapit Baru.

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 02:00:00 +0000

For the first time in my life, I was a bridesmaid. Tp rasanya salah la... Pengapit, bukan bridesmaid. I don't think their roles are remotely the same at all, kan?

Ok. So it was my first experience being a pengapit. Been a flowergirl one too many times tho T_T. Memang bidan terjun giler. PENGAPIT TERJUN, to be exact.

It was my cousin's wedding. Supposedly, age wise, on my father's side, I was next on the line to get married. For girls, anyway. As for my mother's side, I was the first in line since the day I was born T___T. So it was like quite a pressure being at the wedding..even more so when you're chosen to be the pengapit. Tapi i cool.

But that's a different story.

The wedding was in Miri. I live in Bintulu. Bintulu-Miri is like a two-hour-drive, plus plus. The thing is, I brought only ONE pair of baju kurung. I thought the kenduri was like a one day event, nikah terus bersanding pastu habis. Boy, was i wrong. DAHLA BAWAK SEPASANG JE, JADI PENGAPIT PULAK TU!!

MAKANYA, saat pengantin mau dinikahin, i ended up wearing

THIS.

So there I was, staying close to the bride. Holding on to her bouquet of flowers, while looking SO OUT OF PLACE. Malewww dowh.

Kau duduk dendiam situ. Degil eh..

Pengapit Rugged. Buang tebiat.

With 1/6 of my cousins. I have a lot more.

Yang paling tua jgk buat perangai tak senonoh tak pakai baju kurung.

My cousin Emma and her husband.

The next day. Hari persandingan. Kebetulan pulak baju yg i bwk sama kaler ngan pengantin. Purple jugak. Tapi pengapit lelaki takde baju purple, dia pakai baju melayu putih. Bolelaa...

Ok. Much better. Tapi mcm nenek2 pulak.

Sebenarnya blur-blur jadi pengapit ni. Kengkadang tak sure nak buat apa. Lap-lap peluh kt muka pengantin, lap-lap tangan n dahi masa tepung tawar, betulkan veil, angkat ekor baju. Ikut pengantin ke hulu ke hilir. Basically tu je la...hahah! Amateur.

With more of my cousins.

EH, I also helped the bride tukar-tukar baju, tukar-tukar jewelleries. Pastu kan, masa tu dia bukak rantai emas dia dan disebabkan tgh kalut nk cepat, tak tau nak simpan kat mana, she asked me to wear it around my neck for a while. So i did. And I wore all the way back to Bintulu. Ngahahah! Dah smpi rumah baru perasan.

Beware. Pengapit Pencopet. Sila jangan ambil khidmat dia untuk jadi pengapit anda.

Pictures courtesy of saudara-mara, pakcik dan makcik yang upload kat facebook. Sekian, terima kasih.

Check out who's in the news!!

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 03:51:00 +0000

Mode: Lupa Daratan.

Had the oppotunity to attend an appreciation dinner for the local press last weekend. Definitely a first for me. It was fun. We told jokes, shared experiences, and after a few flown beef and prawns galore, we were laughing like a bunch of hyenas on the loose. LAWL.

The best part is...cekidauddddddd.

Utusan Borneo 21/02/2011

Not sure which paper this one is,

Sin Chew Daily, 21/02/2011

My face was plastered on 7 newspapers that day. Malay, Chinese, English and Iban papers all lah..

WhO dA MaN!!?? I'm dA MaN!!

Ok. Imma shaddap now. Bye.

I won!

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 13:59:00 +0000

Wanna know what i've won?

I won a RM150 voucher for Ajmal Perfumes!! *cue applause*

I came across this giveaway here. Memula sesaja je join contest ni sbb cam xramai yg join. Sekali menang pulak eh eh.

Here was my winning entry LOL bongkak T_T.

Actually i stumbled upon her blog sometime around last year while i was doing some blog hopping.
She's got lots of nice pictures and she's one of those lucky ones who always get free tickets and vouchers and stuff like that. So yeah..

tak sabar nk turun kl redeem voucher hohoh.

Patah sayap bertongkat dagu

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 03:55:00 +0000

Jentayuuuuuu.....
I must admit, this post is loooooong overdue. Almost 3 weeks i think. Dh berkulat kot. I've been busy(konon).

But still, just to stay on track..here's a tribute.

Remember my post a few months back?

The thing is, she left. Kiki ~~Lala~~ has left the building!

Not because I was mean to her (I hope not)...but because she got a better offer, working with the government. Sob sob...

So now I'm back to square one.

As if her leaving wasn't depressing enough for me, she went on and left me messages here and there.

In the drawer,

In between the pages of the log books.

In the filing cabinet. (this one's a long one)

Benci.

Dah tau orang sensitif tahap mintak simpati, saje je wat benda-benda tak berpatutan sebegitu rupa. Tak memasal air mata bergenang keseorangan di pagi syawal. Cis. ;-(

Oh well, what i was trying to say was, thank you.

You have helped me a lot through those 2 months.

I would be drowning in my own workload if you didnt come and take me to the shore. Seriously.

Thank you for putting up with my crap, my rubbish, my nonsense.
Thank you for all the gossips, the stories and the secrets.
Makseh layan kmk membebel/merepak n makseh slalu membebel/merepak ngan kmk. MUAHAHAH!

Thank you, my friend ^_^

*Syiqin, terharu sik? touching kan? Over jak hoo...maka rumah dekat jak =p*

Saje je

noreply@blogger.com (neena) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:31:00 +0000

Aci x kalu i buat entry ni semata-mata sbb hari ni last day 2010?

Mmg entry ni jenis tangkap muat (tu pn kalau muat) pny la.

Eh ok2. I'll try to make this post worth writing/reading.

Hmm, I just got back from a 10-day holiday last week. From 16th to 26th December.

We went to:

SINGAPORE

Universal Studios Singapore. Let me remind u NOT to go there on school holidays. You'll suffocate and end up queueing and queueing until u can't queue no more. We only went on 2 rides. And each ride took us 2 hours on average just WAITING IN LINE. But we had a great lunch, we had fun going into many different souvenir shops, taking pictures and stuff. Nothing much compared to Movie World though.
Rumah Nyai (Nya ii) and Yai (Ya ii). Wah suddenly so Jawa. Nyai = nenek and Yai = atok. My mom was born in Singapore so my Nyai and Yai are her Aunt and Uncle who still lives there because they're Singaporean. But my Mom's Nyai and Yai are Indonesians. Apakah?? *tetiba sedih Indon kalah AFF Suzuki bagi pihak*. So basically Nyai and Yai are my Great Aunt and Great Uncle. My real Nyai is my Nenek. I don't call her Nyai cause she's not Javanese. She's Johorean Malay. But she's now in Jakarta for a trip. Apakah?? And my real Yai is neither in Malaysia NOR Singapore. He's in the Philippines. Whom I've never met before in my whole life. *Okay now I'm all confused*
Jalan-jalan shopping complex Singapore yg canggih manggih. They even had underground malls weeee!!
Went on a Night Tour with some other tourists. -A couple form Germany, A couple from Australia, Mother and daughter from Indonesia, and the 5 of us. And the FUNNIEST thing is, the tour guide brought us to the ROYAL SELANGOR. LOL. Macam orang Sarawak melancong pg KL pastu beli kek lapis Deja Moss T_T.

JOHOR

Tinggal rumah Nenek (this is the one that we don't call Nyai coz she's not Javanese hahah) for a few days.
All of us (except nenek sbb ada meeting katanya) went for a movie outing beramai-ramai bersama Usu, Pak Usu dan sepupu sepapat. We watched *inhales* HANTUKAKLIMAHBALIKRUMAH. Bahahahah. Bahahah. Hahah.
Rent a car and drove to.....

Stayed at Berjaya apartments.
On Christmas Eve, walked to Bintang Walk and was damn shocked with everything. KL mcm.. Hish xtau nk ckp apa. Malu.
Jatuh gedebukk depan Low Yat and hurt my knee (msh lebam and scratched).
Xsmpat nk singgah Excelsa yg dirindui. =(

Okla..dh nk kol 12 dh ni. Kang xjd post terakhir, jd post terawal. =_="

Happy New Year! May this year be better than the last. All the best to you!!!