Not Your Average Joe

Another George W. Bush is a total idiot post

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 7 Jul 2006 11:57:00 -0700

Anyone that knows me knows I don't like GW. Hey I did vote so I have a right to complain. This is a short funny little video I found on the net. It is a compulation of Bush's more humorous verbal blunders. As I said in the previous post, even if you like George Bush this is funny, if you don't like him it is ROFLMAO. Oh and before you say anything. Yes I would do his job given the opportunity.

George Bush screen cap - Old but good

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 08:16:00 -0700

I love this screen captured from TV. It is a little old and has made its way around the internet for about a year now. If you like George W. Bush you have to admit it is funny. If you don't like GW it is one of the funniest things you have ever seen and you'll probably agree it is true.

Corporate Lesson 2

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:10:00 -0700

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 1

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:10:00 -0700

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129? Once again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:09:00 -0700

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one. “Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:09:00 -0700

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:08:00 -0700

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree", the turkey sighed, but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Coporate Lesson 6

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:07:00 -0700

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

AOCCDRNIG TO RSCHEEARCH

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 19 May 2006 08:11:00 -0700

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

My girlie tomboy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0700

My daughter, Viana, is the most girlie tomboy I have ever seen.
It isn't uncommon to find her dressed up, makeup, dresses, princess costume, you name it while at the same time, literally, outside playing in the dirt with the boys, or the neighbor's dogs, or just by herself. Click here for for a little video of her I took yesterday after she had baseball practice.

My first (meaningless) Video?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 08:05:00 -0700

Click here to view video

So if I have done things correctly you will be able to see a video I created. It is my short walk from my van to my desk at my office.

If this does work out you will see more videos in the future

I learned how to do this from http://freevlog.org which is a pretty awesome FREE site

Things people wear

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:03:00 -0700

Saturday during my son's baseball game I saw a man in the stands wearing an unusual outfit. He was wearing camouflaged overalls and no shirt. That got me thinking...Mr. Fashion I am not. My typical outfit is an un-tucked polo style shirt and blue jeans. But it got me thinking...do some people think before they walk out the door? Do they look in the mirror and if hey do, can it be they actually think they look presentable? I am about 5'4" and around 250 pounds. There isn't a person out there that wants to see me in a half shirt and short shorts, yet I see people in worse shape then me all the time dressed like that. Or the kids these days wearing their pants around their thighs instead of their waists. What makes you think the world wants to see your boxers? Or those that wear the knee length or longer shorts with their tube socks pulled all the way up.

It can also be "is this practical"? Every one of you has seen that girl wearing a skirt so short and/or tight that every time they stand up they have to pull it down to make sure everything is covered. Ok, if you need to pull it down each time you stand up, it probably shouldn't be worn in public. Or white shirts with black bras or white pants with colored underwear...The list doesn't end

Sometimes I think that if we all just looked in the mirror before walking outside, if we did and could honestly say "I look good" instead of "I'm in fashion" or whatnot then the world would be a more visually pleasing place.

That's my .02. What's yours?

Bad week of baseball

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:26:00 -0700

On Thursday the 6th we played the Dodgers and got our butts handed to us 13-4. Additionally I had poor participation from the parents who were supposed to work the concession stand that same day and me and the other coaches ended up having to work it.

A big thanks to all the parents out there for taking advantage of us!

Friday was the only day this week without baseball in some form or another. TGIF!

Saturday. Get up early, get the uniforms washed, get Viana dressed and out the door for baseball pictures. Come back from there and get Cristian ready and off for his pictures. So we are waiting around for our turn and to see if everyone is going to show up. A couple of the guys on the team are playing catch and one apparently looked away at the same time the other was throwing him the ball. The ball hits him hard in the face, breaking his nose, there is blood everywhere, the boy is screaming, it was an ugly site. Most recent news from his parents is that he may need surgery and that he is lucky he got hit in the nose because if it hit his face elsewhere it would have been worse.

Ok, back home after pictures, pick Viana back up and get her to her game. She has a great game. She go a couple of hits, scored a few runs, made some good throws and looked like she had the most fun she has had so far.

Back home from Viana's game, short break then off to Cristian's game.

We are playing the A's. Pitching is shakey on both sides. Our hour and a half time limit is going by fast and we are only in the second inning. Time running out. We are down 9-6 comming up to bat in the bottom half of I believe the 3rd and time is running out. We start to kill the opposing pitcher. We get three runs in to tie, have the bases loaded, and only 1 out. Our time is up but we have to finish the inning. I'm feeling great thinking this one is in the bag. We only need one more run to win.

Now the umpire had a different idea. All of a sudden the strike zone becomes a mile high and a mile wide. Basically if the catcher caught it, it was called a strike. One pitch was eye level on my batter and it was called a 3rd strike. Out #2. The next batter had one bounce and the catcher caught it on the hop, called strike. Then a pitch almost hits the batter, called strike, Out #3, game over. TIE game.

Sunday we finally get to make up the game against the Cardinals that has been rained out twice. Our starting pitcher doesn't have his best stuff and we are behind early.
Our second pitcher also can't find the strike zone so I bring in 3rd pitcher. He does pretty well, gets us out of a jam. We are down 12-3 comming up to bat with about 20 mins left to play. We knock their pitcher around, the bring in another, we knock him around. In this division you can only score 6 runs in an inning. Once you get 6, you change sides. The score is know 12-8, bases loaded, and I believe 1 out. One of the opposing coaches asks the umpire how much time is left. He has about two minutes. We already have 5 runs in and can only score one more. They still have the lead. So what does the other team do? Well with only two minutes left you stall to run out the time of course. No reason to start a new inning if you are the team in the lead. So they call time, talk to the pitcher, then make a pitching change. New pitcher comes in, walks the batter, we get our 6 runs. Umpire calls the game over due to the time being up.

I loose my temper and chew out the umpire, the same umpire that we had the day before when we tied. My watch shows we still have about 3 mins left. He says his says we are out of time. Anyway, end result is we loose 12-9

Another game tonight, Monday.

4-3-06 Rain Out

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 5 Apr 2006 12:32:00 -0700

So it looks like we aren't supposed to play the Cardinals yet. We were rained out last Monday when we were supposed to play them and we got rained out again this Monday when we were supposed to make up the game.

Next up: Thursday 6pm we play against the Dodgers. I don't know how good their team is but I do know their coaches are good.

3/30/06 Game - Cristian

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 2 Apr 2006 22:24:00 -0700

Our team, the Pirates, played the Yankees on Thursday. It looked like it was going to be a good day, we were batting first, had the bases loaded, only 1 out and one run was already in.

Well things kind of took a turn for the worst at that point. The Yankees pitcher was a pretty good size kid with a fast, fastball. When he "missed" he would miss low and the Umpire was actually calling most of them strikes. Our next two batters were put out so we went to the bottom of the 1st with only a 1-0 lead.

Apparently our guys forgot how to play baseball. We walked a bunch of guys, overthrew a bunch of guys and ended up giving up 6 runs to go down 6-1 entering the top half of the 2nd inning.

I was feeling pretty good about the hitters we had comming up, but the Yankees had other ideas. We quickly made 3 outs and the Yankees came to bat in the bottom of the 2nd leading 6-1. It looked like it was going to be a long long day.

No outs, runner on 2nd, good hitter up, fly ball to center, our center fielder had a good run to get to the ball...he makes a great catch and doubles the runner off 2nd, who had left a bit early. Two batters later we were out of the inning with no damage. 6-1 Yankees going into the top of the third.

Both teams made substitutions. The Yankees brought in a new pitcher. He wasn't able to throw as hard as the first one and we roughed him up for 6 runs to take a 7-6 lead going into the bottom of the 3rd. I made a pitching change also. Tristian took the mound for the first time. I hadn't seem him pitch before but one of my assistants worked him out the day before at pratice and said he could bring it.

Ok so here we are leading 7-6 in the bottom of the third with a kid who has never pitched in a game before pitching for us. Two outs, runners on 2nd and 3rd. Tristian walks the batter. For some strange reason the runner at third starts to run home. Insane, but completely legal. Our catcher, who still has the ball, takes a few steps up the line and tags him out. End of inning! But wait. The umpire says there is no play, that it was a dead ball and tells the runner to go back to 3rd. I argue the call. He says there was no reason for the running to try and advance, and I reply that although it wasn't a smart thing to do it was legal and that even though there was a walk it is not a dead ball. Even though I was right, he would not change his call.

Bases loaded, two outs, and we have a 1 run lead.

Our games last only 90 minutes. Since the home team is up and my watch shows about 5 mins left and the umpire just gave the other team a huge gift, I start to worry. Tristian, who is "as cool as the other side of the pillow" (to steal a phrase from one of the guys at ESPN) procedes to strike out he next batter. Inning over!

The umpire raises his arms and declairs GAME OVER. (clock shows 2-3 mins left) The other team protests, says we still have time left, that we play 90 mins and that we are supposed to finish any inning that is started. Technically one inning starts as soon as the previous one ends. Knowing they are right but not wanting to take a chance on my kids having a great win taken from them I protest. Basically my entire argument is that if it was up the the umpire's opinion to call a dead ball and put the runner back on 3rd, then it is up to him to say if we play another inning. I end by saying my guys are ready if the ump decides we need to play on. I gather my guys in the dugout and get them ready to hit. The umpire calls someone on his cell phone, presumably to verify the ruling and after a few minutes reafirms his descion to end the game.

WE WIN!!! Our record stands at 2-2.

Next game 4-3-06 7:45pm cst against the Cardinals. This is a makeup game for a rainout we had last week.

Saturdays Games

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:47:00 -0800

Yesturday Viana's team did much better than they did last week in their first game. She got a couple of hits and ran the bases well.

The biggest news, our Pirates team, Cristian's team, lost 8-7 to the Reds. We were winning 7-5 going into the bottom of the last inning but we gave up 3 runs and lost. The highlight of the game was in the top half of that inning. We were behind 5-4, bases loaded, two outs and Cristian batting. Now as I said before, he didn't get any hits last year and got his first hit, a single in our first game this year. So can you guess what happened? Yup, a bases clearing tripple to put us up 7-5! It was awesome!

Today's Game vs the Twins

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 19:01:00 -0800

So today we played the Twins and got our first victory of the season 5-4. Our first game, just for the record was a 12-8 loss against the Rangers.

We gave up just 1 run in the final two innings to win.

Books

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 13:53:00 -0800

Currently Reading:

Timeline by Michael Crichton

Getting Ready to Read:

The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Tuesdays with Morrie both by Mitch Albom

Most Recently Read:
QBQ! by John G. Miller
What If God Were The Sun, Crossing Over, and One Last Time by John Edward

March 18th - Opening Day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 11:18:00 -0800

Saturday was opening day for the little league my children play in. My daughter, Viana, played in her first ever t-ball game. This league doesn't keep score or record wins - losses for t-ball so officially they didn't lose, however the other team did have a runner cross home plate more times than Viana's team. They had an all-star catcher on their team. Players can be 5-7 years old. I'm guessing he was 7. Anyway our kids would hit the ball, it would go a few feet and he would run and get it then run them down as they ran to first base. Overall, we didn't do to bad considering we have only had 3 practices and we didn't have everyone at either of them.

My son, Cristian, is in his 2nd year of "kid pitch" (minor league). Last year he didn't record a single hit all year. Saturday he got one in his first at bat! We ended up losing the game 12-8 but we have plenty to build on. Our next game is tomorrow, then we have one Saturday and another on Monday. I'll keep you posted on how things go.

Ok, so here goes...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 16 Mar 2006 13:00:00 -0800

My brother Michael has a video blog. Both of his girls (Dylan & Lauren) do too. My dad has one and my mom has been featured in a video or two on my brother's site.

I'm the last one to take up the torch so to speak.

Maybe one day I'll do video, but for now this is just a blog.