Note From The Book

Back in the City

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 PDT

I don’t think I Blogged of this but I was in Houston for the Weekend and I had a good time. My Brother’s Wife Graduated from College with Honors, and He himself just moved up a position in church. We attended Services at Lakewood where they both do voluntary work. My brother is now a Councilor there . Cool Right.

Although I personally didn’t get to do exactly what I wanted to do, I’m Fine. glad I got to role with my Brother too. that’s all.

I See More than what she thinks I see.

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Thu, 16 May 2013 00:10:00 PDT

Last week when I came here to her house (where I am at the moment working on music) she had this weedhead boy in here Lighting Incents.. At that moment I spot in an ashtray what looks like weed. This dude’s been over here since Last Thursday and she allowed him to smoke in her home. She smoked with him. HE TOLD ME this Voluntarily.

See, If I cant tell her how to live o what to do in her own house but She’s made Weed Brownies and I guess she assumes I have no clue what that is… I went in her microwave to warm some chicken.. She Jumps up and says “Don’t go in there" . cause the aluminum…. I said .. I already removed it… she was like “Don’t eat that okay”.. im like OKAY Im good on that… Smh.. I’m not dumb chick… She’s been in here intoxicating her mind with that filth and thinks its cool.. and assumes I just don’t know.. I tried to tell her that I know she smoked with the dude but she hung up because I told her I was going somewhere .. she claimed she was heading to sleep.. and Ironically she received like 10 txts while on the phone with me .and had a nerve to have me on speakerphone .. smh..If she really thinks im gonna stick around after this pageant. she’s trippin.. I cant live with a person who lives lies ..

You cant let your MAN in the kitchen ..but Lil Weedhead can? smh… Maybe it was because of the brownies.. lol ..what a shame..

She’s terrible..for doing me how she did.. Yesterday I refused to call her because she needed me and she held it off to smoke with these guys… She probably gave him the goods at this point ..lol .. basically he’s here to “help her clean up” … I see her underwear on the ground next to this plug im using.. I cant put it past her at this moment..

She constantly lies to me when im 100% honest with her.. It’s why she cant get things done.

I’m gonna Get out of this soon…

Robins Words Regading Folks who Don’t Know NOLA

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Tue, 14 May 2013 00:14:00 PDT

A Friend of mine wrote This Via Facebook:

People who not from New Orleans really think they know New Orleans. Ya'll have no idea.
It's different from everywhere else. It's not like Detroit and it's not like Chicago. Yes, these two cities are violent as all get out but, per capita, New Orleans averages almost 15 more murders per 100,000 than Detroit and Chicago. And average of 250 per year since the 90s.
You tell us to stop talking about Katrina but you don't understand the after effects. It goes well beyond FEMA checks and trailers. We have kids who are now growing up and raising themselves. They never received any treatment on how to deal with the tragedy. We have a Governor who has his sights on a presidential bid and is involved in Prisons for Profit businesses. You have a school system that sold our kids out (remember, they are called HUMAN CAPITAL) and a Senator who is going around blatantly lying about how much the schools in New Orleans have improved under charter systems.
We have no good jobs here because big companies don't feel that we have the education level that is sufficient enough to do the jobs they have available. The state charges too much in taxes so they find a cheaper place.

I Agree 100%

My Thoughts on the Mothers Day Shooting

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Mon, 13 May 2013 15:21:00 PDT

Following that story of the Sunday shooting where 18 people were injured, I haven’t seen anything as of late, but I know that a few of my Friends were hurt, babies were hurt and mothers were hurt all on Mothers day. That news spread like wildfire, I posted on facebook to one of the threads on the Jesse Ventura Conspiracy theory site basically saying that Although it’s an unusual thing, It’s still no different than the same amount of people being hurt in a 3 week period here. and that’s Not trying to Lighten the up what happen, but it’s a reality that This city’s plagued with Violent Crimes.

There’s been Surveillance of the shooter running away. hopefully they capture that guy because what he did was just plain evil. Looking at the Video clips and still frames you can see Babies ducking for cover. THAT SHOULD NEVER BE. Some friends of mine are posting updates regarding our other friends I Pray that their recovery is speedy and that no other problems with their health come about due to this matter.

I also pray all persons in this matter, even the person who was shot 6 times, God Help Him, the mothers and the children especially who were hurt or affected by this.. We need to Wake Up New Orleans.

Lisa P. wrote on her facebook about how it’s tragic that this tragedy is not the first to happen on a Mothers day and that It’s become a day of somber now due to the fact that she’ll never forget that her friends were shot on this day as well as 3 years ago where our boy B. Franklin was killed on Mothers day. It’s heartbreaking to know of it all, but It’s worse when your friends are victims.

All my Boys in TBC and the other Brass bands who were there are safe, but they lost instruments due to them being damaged heavily. I hope these guys receive new instruments soon, they’ve good gigs to play back to back.

Stop The Violence, Deny Ignorance.

Maybe its me

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sat, 11 May 2013 11:55:00 PDT

Although my weekend’s going great, I need to get home and get some stuff done, I have a party to attend tonite, I also have to get some things done at nola copy print. hopefully Mu Bank Account becomes unlocked because I need to know what I have in it. It amazes me how things work in my favor. even though I never ask for it to happen.

Some things though, I just don’t get, How In the midst of her being wrong, she never wants to admit it. it would take for her to be put in a situation where she can’t lie, so that she can admit truth.

small pointless arguments she makes when I'm trying to let her know things. I think its all funny. going off cause you can’t have it your way. ha! it’s life

The Crosshair is Back

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Tue, 07 May 2013 21:16:00 PDT

The other day Ira said she liked the old crosshair logo therefore I decided to bring it back. Here’s her daughter. and my one of my currently active logos this time in blue.

My Reaction to Amanda Berry & Gina DeJesus’ Rescue

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Tue, 07 May 2013 20:03:00 PDT

Initially I had no clue what went on, but this morning while on Instagram. I saw photos of memes created of the Her Rescuer’s face comparing him to the Barber from “Coming to America” Later on I saw the Video of him from Their Chanel 5 News where he talks about what he did. and I thought that was amazing no matter what folks have to say about how he looked or sounded to in the interview.

After reading more on the situation and watching web broadcast from previous years of Amanda’s possible Search. all I can say to the whole situation THANK GOD they were found alive and well. Because the videos I saw, they were looking for dead bodies.

It’s messed up what Their folks had to go though trying to live with no true sense of Closure, now you have a Closed case on one hand, yet a whole new Case involving The Kidnapper and what he did for a living. I honestly want to see how that unfolds because as a School bus driver, for many years Many kids were unknowingly endangered while under his watch. This whole case amazes me.

Charles Ramsey Deserves that Reward money and then some.

Done With Another shoot

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 05 May 2013 21:06:00 PDT

My weekend was eventful, Working all day is crazy but worth it and fun. although I didn’t get any sleep. I value this time, There are many things that I still am skeptical about but otherwise I’m enjoying the moment honestly.

I hope these things come out like I NEED them though. I missed a Trip to ATL to hang to do both lemonade day and this shoot with Ira and the gang I’m good!..

We Continue

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 02:51:00 PDT

Today we basically talked and talked and talked while out together and although she slightly acted funny with me. I see that what we have is a relationship moving forward.

Ending it all we basically decided to talk about it at dinner and put it behind us after a long discussion. She asked if I see her any differently. I told her no, not to the extent of wanting to disown her. I told her I don’t feel any differently because I’m attracted to her.

Basically we threw it all out there and at the end of the day she’s still here. It’s crazy but I do care.

It’s Amazing the Things I See

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:45:00 PDT

I think its funny that it just happens to be this way. Maybe if I just Ignore everything I’ll be alright. All I have to do Is Watch how everything unfolds. I guess I get no answer because its not my call I only think its funny cause I asked her to go out. Most likely I’ll be lied to before the night is over.

Making plans with another man, That aint cool.. that’s what she does on her own time. I devote my time to 1 persons other than myself. for me that’s part of what makes relationships work.

maybe she’s busy. Maybe she’s sleeping Maybe She’s out Creeping but that’s on her
Should It matter to me. Are we still in this thing? I Really don’t know but it’s messed up. I Text, No Answer, I Call, No answer, I just get calls when you’re in need For the most part All I want to do is Talk. Crazy right? yeah..

I’m out.

Not Gonna Front

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 21:56:00 PDT

I Don’t see this ending no time soon. Maybe shel’ll do what she does, but for not We’re still in a relationship. I for one will back off from intimacy and keep it all “friendly”. why? because I can’t get caught up

LIFE!

Song of the moment

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:11:00 PDT

Although I didn’t want to

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:07:00 PDT

I had to reveal it to her, now she doesn’t trust me as much. We had a very long conversation about it after I told her what I knew. It needed to be said though. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but after all of that bottled up in my system I needed to let it go.

I may be wrong for doing what I did as far as going through her Email. she said she didn’t think I would stoop low. and That was her private business to know and I’m and A-hole because of what I did. Yet she also took blame because I was not lying.

Honestly I should not have done that. to her. She says she wanted to tell me what she does, she also was bound to let me know the other day. I explained to her that In her best Interest I think she should stop. doing it, yet I can’t tell her how to live.

All in all I understand her pain but she didn’t understand mine. All we need is to talk and be honest with each other for real. I never stated that I wanted to lose her because I don’t want to lose her. but as I was out of my mind I had to let her know what I know.

I did not like having to do that to her, and Although I was called an A-Hole for Disrespecting her Privacy. I think that this conversation was worth it. I ruined her day and probably her week but she’s a strong woman that I can not break. She told me that it broke her for the moment but I know she can bounce back..

I The Book care for Her, We care for each other. Maybe it’ll end, maybe we’ll work it out. We’ll talk someday again. I know she wants to clear her mind.. I apologized to her for that, she also did to me for Not letting me know about that. Yet I understand where she’s coming from. I’m glad we had that conversation. I just want to see her happy and not get caught up I don’t want her to be hurt..

I just hope that she can trust me again. It’s hard but I love who she is as a person and I’m glad I have her.. as for now do I? iono

Her New Ringtone

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 03:06:00 PDT

After today and how she did me in her own house, yeah LOL! Man this girl is a trip! but I love her .. really.. LOL! I dislike her ways, I dislike that she’s dishonest with me as well. saw more evidence that she’s being out with one of her craigslist guys too. Shamrock is where she hung out and won a big tiger with some random guy. All of them to her are her exes. smh I saw the Receipts in her car LOL I should have taken the,

So Yeah, you know what… Today, She cried, she claimed its because she’s uncomfortable.. she didn’t even want me to touch her beyond scratching her head.
she basically acted like she didn’t want to be bothered with me after I came to her house. I should have left. smh.

anyway. That song.. PERFECT! its gonna be her ringtone LOL

Just Ain’t gonna work out..

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 03:11:00 PDT

Mayer Hawthorne - Just Ain't Gonna Work Out from Stones Throw on Vimeo.
One of my favorites

As much as I like this girl, I sent her a letter saying basically that I believe that we should consider this a friendship only. Simply because of how she does me in public and my level comfort with her when we’re talking to other people or with myself being mentioned as a friend to her. I told her how I felt about those things. but I didn’t reveal to her what I truly know about her.

We talked about it, she explained herself in regard to why she does certain things . I told her that I feel like I’m not Exclusive to her . I just couldn’t be totally truthful and tell her that I know what she does with her free time. and that’s what brought me to the msg. I There is so much deeper that I can’t explain here but It’ll be her own downfall. I can’t forget it but I’ll let i t go. When she gets busted, That’ll be on her. It’s so much I can let go of but I like her to much to just let her go…. it bothers me.

It Bothers me a lot, I can’t live the life of a second hand man..

Another Wedding Booked

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 23:57:00 PDT

I’, grateful for my my skills, I have this wedding coming uo Saturday & a Party that night, as well as 2 parties friday. I’m wll overbooked and ready to rumble. Lets hope these days go by great and I do a great job at all of this. I must rack up on batteries in the next 2 days

I’ve been uploading & printing pics all week. I gotta check adorama on the cost of everything I’ll get from them in regard to this package. I don’t know how this is gonna work out but it should be great.

There are many things I want to blog about it seems useless to do it now tho.

Before She fell Asleep

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 04:14:00 PDT

Tonight I spend a number of Hours on the phone with Ira. Although I’ve been feeling like This relationship has reached its peak and its like “whatever happens” I really Like her, and she really likes me to the extent of us being with each other long time. and despite all that I know. With her saying what she told me, It was truthful and I understand where she’s coming from.

Basically, she told me that she feels that I need to get myself Checked simply because I haven’t been able to hold up for her in the bedroom. Although I do understand my problem. She thinks its something else. Basically I have Neuropathic Issues that I can’t control, It’s not a blood issue like she thinks. When going at it she would wonder why I’m not there. All I can tell her is that I don’t know. Because I honestly I don’t know when it’s going to happen or not.

She fells that I’m not arroused by her, yes I am. but that doesn’t mean that It will happen just because of that. Due to my personal health issues. I have pain in crazy places so my body responds to that pain over anything..

Knowing she has a problem with that is cool because she was honest. yet that should never be the more substantial factor of holding a bond. But If that’s what she wants out of a relationship and I can’t satisfy her, She has all the right to leave me alone. I’m cool with that . Yeah no doubt We have not been sexually active in months. I honestly believe that she has, but hey That’s on her. and I may be wrong for accusing, but that matters to me. because she’s supposed to be exclusive to me and I honestly don’t feel it all the time .

I may have to go get checked for the issue, to let her know what my body’s telling me but at the same time I already know why the issue exist. I have to get my health in order.

So Many Other Things to write about. I need to do this more often/

- Book

Deposits will do Justice

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 05:31:00 PDT

It’s time to come up with a way to get booked without being paid afterward.
I think I’ll create the contract on Google Docs and have them pay via paypal because I was cut short 50$. although I did get my money I as short $10 in full .. I was supposed to get 40 from a guy after receiving 160$ from a girl. the problem with that is, I was short $50 and I had to get 40 of those from my brother n law..

At this point I’ll likely get to transferring the written contract to digital. while accepting a Deposit in advance that way I’ll know I’m booked and paid

I gotta get back in the groove man

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 01:01:00 PDT

There are many things I’ve been slacking on. I have things I need to get done, and things that I have to do that will improve my life. I must make more connections, Get some people in my life, leave facebook alone for a while. Make some real changes.

I finally got an instagram and for me it’s pointless because I can’t upload from the PC. at least not with my pc’s graphics card. It cant handle the Emulator. Crazy right?

2 Weeks ago, My cousin moved in. Now he’s out.. Boy that was a time. dude just brought all of his furniture in as if we allowed it.. lol.

I have a great idea. I’ll refrain from doing exactly what’s likely being seen. Therefore I’ll speak on it lightly. I must blog more. Tweet Less, facebook Less./ MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

I Think, I Know , I’m Done

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 21:25:00 PDT

Today, After Countless times attempting to call this girl, she stood me up again. another holiday without her.. I was going to send her a text stating that I realize how she ignores me on holidays and at this point she might as well stick to Jimmie cause that’s where her heart is.

Last night we went out, same as the days before every other holiday. all these days she called me her “friend” .. and me calling her “Girlfriend” … So many things I’ve realized over the past 4 months that just don’t add up.. and the things I have seen and heard in are so funny to me… so therefore I think.. and I Know its true.

What is it that she wants out of me? I don’t have a clue. I know she’s been lying to me too long to let things just go on.. That’s why I say I’m Done.. I tried calling her tonight after I saw that her car was not by her home.. I called at the moment.. No answer..2nd time she hung up the line early.. I think that’s funny.. multiple times .. she thinks it’s cool.. I’m done.. That’s all I have to say about that..

at the end of the day I’m obviously not in her standard range and she’s not my type of girl.. therefore I quit..

at the moment

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:08:00 PDT

My Battery Grip came yesterday, I’m glad it did too. that sucka fit right on and has a trigger to shoot from an angle too. I bought it from Ebay. At the moment I’m awaiting a bag to come in, it was 10 Bucks on Ebay. I think it’s great!. all I need is 2 more bags and I’m good.

I have a wedding on the 20th, God help me make these pictures great please!. I also have a party on the 20th, I'm kinda tied, I have the 6th and the 17th as well. This should be interesting.

Here’s some thing I recently wrote on Facebook

Orleans Parish Prison has better buildings that some of these schools | folks on all last year TV talking about we need Better Prisons... no doubt they do need to be maintained greater but to say this at a time where schools need to be built is an insult to Children,

Folks are clicking Like!

Before that I asked “What’s a Molly?” just because I know that folks say it simply because its said in a new song. I know what a Molly is, but to see their responses was funny to me.

I also Posted this Kennedy vs Higgins game which I got from Tramaine along with some other things,,

Good times, Fun Times

So I'm On the phone trying to navigate a Computer Illiterate person to access and edit music files in Windows 8. an Operating System which I've never used. Dude calls me every day. I went to help him out, now he’s calling me trying to get music out of me. smh crazy man!. I missed out on some good convo with my girl because of it. lol

Go Liisten to Duudamdej by Jukka Eskola

Pregnancy Awareness Month? really

Amy Winehouse Foundation Inspiration Awards?

Are you a man without conviction? lol well this is your theme song

Took Pics at my sister’s party last friday Everybody likes this one of her.

In the beginning, there was man. And for a time, it was good. But humanity's so-called civil societies soon fell victim to vanity and corruption. Then man made the machine in his own likeness. Thus did man become the architect of his own demise. - Zion Archive Computer (Animatrix)

I’ve been posting a few software, I may have to get rid of from my own pc, smh! lol

I installed Libre Offfice even tho I have open office.. yep. lol

Did some Adjusting

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 13:45:00 PDT

This Past weekend I Restored my PC to an out of box state. My Room PC that is, It’s a Windows Vista. as much as I’m not a fan of this PC, It obviously works better now than it did in the past 4 years. or at least since I’ve had it with me. I still have to load up the proper programs and tweaks, I also did some test runs of new software I hadn’t heard of previously. But I’m good on this thing.

There was a tweaking program I had, I have no clue what the name of it was, but I don’t have it now. SMH. I’ll look on PC world, I usually don’t download from there, but that’s exactly where I found what I was looking for. Of all programs, I Put “Libre Office” on here, It’s just like Open Office.. My Google Drive & Box Drop Accounts are on here as well. obviously.

I’ve been Bidding on Ebay, I created an account There as well as some other places to look for some things. I even won at Listia, even though it was a Mystery Hair Product lol.. smh… Paypal works wonders though.. I’ve also been thinking about Starting a Fund Raising site just to take donations in support of new Photography Equipment. It can work.

I’ll Be back Later/

Okay I guess That’s It

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 14:14:00 PDT

Looks like she knows, How I feel. That’s a good thing. I guess this is it.
Or maybe its because I called her Big Head ..lol

Maybe so..

I think its funny that I try to be truthful throughout this thing, yet I constantly fall short of the glory. is it something I’m doing wrong? maybe so….

I think the journey begins here.

at times I think i make her feel guilty LOL!

Gotta get this footage in

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 17:26:00 PDT

seems like i’m being contacted for the footage i have for multiple reasons. great! i must share. the problem is that my connection sucks now days. is it my router? I think it might be!. i’ll have to try something different in the future.

I knew it exactly, but my question is should i confront her

noreply@blogger.com (Joshua Cousin) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:33:00 PDT

Here’s what she sent to her her alleged Ex which she still deals with. ..

Look I know I love you and I can only hope you love me too but I can't make you in to the man I want I can only ask of you what I know you can do and that's all I'm sorry I can't be miss everything that's not me I'm little miss f up so I will let you go thanks

She Sad part is, she technically got back with him undercover and is probably with him now (at the moment) tonight we’re supposed to be heading to see Oz, I’m not with her. and she’s not accepting my calls. this has happened countless Thursday so its nothing new to me

She told me her daughter likes ,me. Cool right.. yeah.. but hey I’ll have to give all of that up due to her doing that to me. It’s just not cool.

As much as Love her has a person, I know that she’s internally the woman I need to be with.

And with things like her that letter she sent to her ex. Obviously it’s.. because they obviously are currently together.. That’s pretty messed up that I’m not the only one. I think it’s funny though because I knew that times , dates and whereabouts didn’t add up.

I try to be good to her and she’s constantly messed me over. Maybe she should be with him. maybe I need to move on.