"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

Don't Fret

Rachel — 2012-05-27T16:51:31-07:00

It is an unfortunate truth that most mornings, I have a tendency to dither about what to wear. In some kind of neurotic ritual, I spend a good 15 or 20 minutes every day trying on multiple outfits: trading shirts, discarding pants (maybe it's a skirt day?), scarf... no-scarf.... different scarf. It is a round-robin of matching and re-matching until finally I either hit it just right, or I give up and decide to love myself in whatever my best attempt at not-too-dorky happens to be that day.

I think this ritual is a bit less sadistic than it used to be, but it definitely has its roots in a time when I was not at all nice to myself, and every day was a horror of self-loathing where I couldn't see that I would ever look good in anything. I am relieved to be a kinder, gentler friend to myself, now, but this morning ritual, even with more of a neutral eye, still carries over. What gives?

Yesterday, I was stopped in my tracks by my sweet husband, who, watching my torturous daily ritual, simply said to me, "Don't fret." It seems like not so big of a deal, but it was said with such softness, like he had kissed me with words. I had this sudden realization that probably nobody is looking at my daily clothing choices with as much scrutiny as I am, and that if they are, I really don't care. It dawned on me that "Don't fret" was really more like intimate code for "love yourself as I love you."

I often wonder what I would see if I looked at myself through the eyes of those who love and care about me. I think about how I see my husband, my kids, my friends, my sister, my family. I see these people with loving eyes. I don't give a poop what they are wearing, how their hair looks, or if their socks match. They could be wearing potato sacks, and I would see through to their person. The person I love, and in whom I see smart, loving, funny, or even just downright amazing. I want them to feel good about themselves. I want my kids to see themselves as the strong, sweet, hysterically funny little men that they are. I want my husband to see how much of a genius he is. I want my sister to see how her passion and joy are needed in the world. I can imagine that the people in my life, the ones I am choosing to be with, want the same for me - they want me to see myself with love.

This morning I made a conscious effort to dress myself with the kindness of a loved one's eyes. I tried to trust my first instinct, and just go with what I liked. I tried to have fun choosing what to wear! I tried to be present to the fact that, really, I am so much bigger than this material self. Yes, I want to feel beautiful, but the beauty I want to see (and remember!) is more multi-faceted than just the clothing I choose. I want to see my beautiful body, and my beautiful spirit. This can only come through when I release myself from the negative tension created by fretting, and make room for the joy. The world needs my joy. It doesn't need my fretting.

Praise for ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story without End

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-27T07:00:00-07:00

"A must read! ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story Without End is at once unique and universal. With brilliance and depth, Michele Tamaren and Michael Wittner write of love, loss and the enduring human spirit. This is a book that...

Dear Fat Person: You’re Not Welcome

bigliberty — 2012-05-26T14:32:36-07:00

Author’s note: Characters are purely fictional. Trigger warnings for the kind of rank hate and annoyance fat people put up with every day.

Dear fat person,

1. You’re not welcome to have this job, though you’re the most qualified applicant we’ve seen. Calories in = calories out is so simple, and so obviously true. You being fat means you’re stupid and lazy, despite your qualifications and experience. What we will do if we have to fly you places, pay double? We also can’t afford someone like you on the company insurance plan. I mean, you’ve got to be pretty unhealthy being so big, right? But we’d be happy to have you as long as you sign a contract to be part of our voluntary Biggest Loser program.

2. You’re not welcome at the reunion. Don’t you realize fatness means you’ve failed, regardless of what you’ve accomplished since high school/college? I mean, look at your old best friend–she’s still super hot. What, you won a Pulitzer? Neat. Whatever. Isn’t your friend hot?

3. You’re not welcome in this fertility clinic. Don’t you realize people like you shouldn’t get pregnant? That you’re putting your baby at gigantic risk at all stages of its development? You will surely get diabetes and have a huge baby and need a c-section, and later you’ll overfeed your child and let it watch TV all day. People like you are ruining the next generation. However, we will sterilize you.

4. You’re not welcome to respond to my online dating profile. What made you think I’d be okay with dating a fat person? You need to make your profile all about how you’re fat, otherwise it’s false advertising, baby. You’re just trying to trick awesome people like moi into dating you. Like that would ever happen. I’ll still have sex with you, though. But only because I’m in a dry spell. You know how it is.

5. You’re not welcome at this audition. It doesn’t matter how good your acting/dancing/singing/modeling is. You’re an eyesore. Who wants to look at you jiggling up there, too-large, lacking so much grace by virtue of your fat (though your form is impeccable)? It’s unfair to the other actors and singers, darling. How can you expect them to be able to work with someone of your…proportions? You’re talented, so I’ll make a deal with you: come back when you’ve lost some weight, and we’ll talk. Kisses!

6. You’re not welcome to exist as fat, especially if you want to walk around in public, or to comment on the kinds of blogs or articles I like to comment on. What would happen if a workaday troll like me didn’t harass you, didn’t let you know how unwanted you are? You might get to thinking you’re, I dunno, accepted or something, like you’re not some big ugly problem, or that–heaven forfend–you have the same right to respect as nonfat folks or dieters. Hey, don’t blame me. It’s your fault for daring to be fat at us.

7. You’re not welcome to decide how to take care of yourself, if that decision doesn’t place weight loss first and foremost. I know. I’m a doctor.

8. You’re not welcome in this society, though we expect you to keep making contributions to programs you’ll be barred from using, and paying taxes for a war against people like yourself. Oh, and I’ll appreciate your vote this November, thanks!

Meet Herman Liss in ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story without End

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-26T07:00:00-07:00

"ExtraOrdinary is a page-turner! Although I never met Herman Liss, I feel I now know him and am inspired by his modesty, goodness, and ability to delight in life, even at its most difficult. Written with clarity and insight, this...

Fatty Family Holiday Survival Guide

danceswithfat — 2012-05-26T03:03:09-07:00

This Memorial Day weekend in the US, families will gather to thank our Veterans. Those family BBQs often come with an unhealthy side of body shaming and food policing. If you’re headed to a family feast for the holiday, here’s an oldie but goodie post to help you through:

Your body is amazing – it breathes for you, pumps blood around all the time and does all kinds of cool things. It deserves respect and admiration. If people don’t recognize that, it’s 100% their problem and a big flaming sack of not yours.

Everything that people say to you is a reflection of where they are in their life – if people are engaging in body shaming, food policing or other inappropriate behavior, remember that it’s about them, not about you. You do not have to take it personally or internalize it.

That doesn’t mean that you have to allow it to happen either. You decide how people treat you and then you teach them how to treat you that way. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and consequences and then follow through. It’s ok to stand up for yourself, it’s ok to leave the room, it’s ok to leave the State. It’s also ok to just get through it, but if you take that path may I suggest that you spend a lot of energy making sure that you aren’t internalizing those messages.

Good intentions do not negate bad behavior unless you decide that they do.

People are allowed to be on diets, but if they feel the need to be incredibly vocal about it consider that they may have some issues that they are dealing with. Again, this is a big flaming sack of not your problem. Other people’s choices do not invalidate your choices, and vice versa. Some dieters have a hard time with this – they need everyone to buy into dieting so that they can feel comfortable about their decision. That doesn’t obligate you to buy in.

Once more with feeling: Your body is amazing – it breathes for you, pumps blood around all the time and does all kinds of cool things. It deserves respect and admiration. If people don’t recognize that, it’s 100% their problem and a big flaming sack of not yours.

If you need some comic relief there’s new hate mail (with my witty retorts) up on my hate mail page. Enjoy!

Pre-order my book (for you and/or that food policing family member) and get an autographed copy and free shipping!

Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Navigating a Thin-Obsessed World with Your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact, with foreword by Marilyn Wann is now available for pre-order. A book about living life in the body that you have now, making decisions about what you want in the future, and how to get there. Whether you want to change your body, fight for size acceptance, just live your life, or understand and support your fat friends and family, this book was written to provide the insights, aha moments, humor, and hard facts to help.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, you can become a member (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a you can support my work with a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

QOTD: Health

Living 400lbs — 2012-05-25T12:00:53-07:00

The debate about what exactly health means goes back to ancient Greece. Does health just mean living a long time? Does it mean feeling strong? Are athletes the epitomy of health? In fact, athletes suffer more injuries and illnesses than the rest of the population because they push themselves so hard. So who represents health? What about spiritual health? Ethical health? It’s amazing how much we project onto body type these days, through our grossly oversimplified idea of health.

— Ben Spatz

Filed under: Exercise, health, Media, OtherBlogs, quotes

Happy Friday!

(author unknown) — 2012-05-25T09:47:49-07:00

My last post/conversation on Facebook is still generating conversation which is awesome, but what's not awesome is more people jumping on the 'but you can't deny that our food is garbage now and kids run around less than they did before!' bandwagon. I think part of this weekend is going to be devoted to a complete rebuttal, even though evidence shows that the more facts you show, the less a person wants to listen. Cognitive dissonance ftw!

What are you up to this weekend, folks? I believe in the States it's Memorial Day weekend so I hope everyone takes a few to remember the fallen and honour the living. War is hell, an awful reality, and I don't support war in any form, but I *do* support those who feel they need to fight, the people on the ground who put their lives on the line for what they believe in.

Poetry is for Beautiful People?

bigliberty — 2012-05-25T07:23:13-07:00

Start spreading the news…

Here is a fascinating interview with poet Eduardo C. Corral, who touches on the beauty paradigm (which in this case also means thin paradigm) in the queer poetry community in New York City. It’s sad that fat seems to automatically equal not-beautiful, or that physical beauty is a requirement to fit into an arts community.

A quote from the end of the interview with Corral:

EC: Beauty is on my mind these days. The queer poetry community in New York City is full of beautiful people, which makes me an outsider. I’m not beautiful. I’m overweight. I’m unfashionable. I live in the wrong neighborhood. But let me add: I’m happy. I love myself. I love my life in New York City.

I’m disappointed in many of my queer peers. So many of them want to be part of the hipster crowd. So many of them value looks over talent. The cool kids form clubs, become gatekeepers. So many of my peers are clamoring to be let in. I don’t want in. I want to write poems, I want to read, I want to support others. I believe in community, but I’m hesitant to reach out to some of my peers because I’ve already been spurned by a few. One young man told me, “You don’t look like the rest of us.” But I’m not going to let narrow minds ruin my time in the city. I will continue to show up at readings, at poetry events. I’m here. I’m queer. I’m big. Get used to it! (bold mine)

The interview started a firestorm of sorts when Jameson Fitzpatrick responded to inform Corral that beautiful poet Anne Sexton is awesome and it concerns him when people in the poetry community want to devalue his beauty and style…or something:

Though I’m impressed by Corral’s candor, and lament his experience of exclusion because of his appearance, I bristled when I read this. I found myself worrying that this sort of attitude, taken a bit further, could lead to the devaluation of something important to me—namely, fashion and beauty. Moreover, I’m afraid such an attitude sets up a false dichotomy: looks or talent, style or substance. I refuse to settle for one or the other. Silly as it might sound, I want to be beautiful and I want to write beautiful poems.

I’m not, of course, arguing poets need (or should) be good-looking, nor do I advocate exclusion within the gay poetry community on any basis. I’m certainly not claiming the hunger for celebrity I share with [Anne] Sexton is noble. But this is the truth of my life: I’ve wanted to be famous longer than I’ve wanted to be a poet. And I’m apprehensive about what happens when we privilege one experience of the world over any other. I may be young, I may be an aesthete—I may one day recall my great longing to be desired as frivolous—but I don’t believe that makes my experience any less worthy of artistic representation. (bold mine)

Fitzpatrick is calling out Corral for privileging the lives of non-beautiful, non-stylish poets over the lives of beautiful, stylish poets. In so doing he cleanly misses the point of Corral’s critique: that men like Fitzpatrick are already privileged and that Corral thinks that’s a problem. Fitzpatrick’s is yet another (albeit beautifully written) example of the privileged biting back when someone has the temerity to point out their vaunted social status.

Fitzpatrick wants to be his version of beautiful and stylish and a poet — fine. But acknowledging a poetry community privileges one version of beauty and style over another isn’t about taking away one’s ability to be whomever he wants, but an attempt to broaden the space for other interpretations of what it means to look like a poet. Fighting against broadening a space is fighting for the status quo, the existing definition that privileges one set of people over another.

Not sure which way I’m heading

AcceptanceWoman — 2012-05-25T07:00:36-07:00

I am questioning right now if this post belongs on the Fatosphere feed or not, because I’m exploring some thoughts that may be inconsistent with fat acceptance and size acceptance philosophies.

Is there ever such a thing as a healthy intentional weight loss?

Many outside of the Fatosphere and size acceptance circles believe so. Within the Fatosphere and fat acceptance philosophy, the belief is that no matter how well-intentioned, no matter how small the weight loss goal, no matter how sane and safe the methods used are, weight intentionally lost will be regained, and in the process, health in the broadest sense will be impacted in a negative way.

I am not sure I’m entirely on board with that philosophy.

I’m not advocating for widespread intentional weight loss. I am arguing for body autonomy, and the right for people to experiment with mixing up their health-related behaviors to achieve their own goals. I don’t think fat acceptance is opposed to body autonomy, but being anti-dieting does mean removing dieting from the tool kit an individual has at their disposal to work with to achieve their health-related goals. I’m not pro dieting, and I’m not aligned with the forces out there making money off of dieting. But I wonder about safe, sane changes to eating habits that might get lumped in with dieting.

I’m making many assumptions here. But let’s start with this made up case study. Let’s take for example someone with a family history of type 2 diabetes. Let’s say that over time, their weight has increased, due to many factors, but including some that have to do with being sedentary, and patterns of eating that are entirely normal in their cultural context. Let’s say that this person has had their fasting blood sugar tested annually. And let’s say that a recent fasting blood sugar test revealed an increase in the fasting blood sugar. And then when the test is repeated a few months later, it’s still higher than what’s considered normal. What’s the best course of action, within what this individual is interested in and willing to do? Let’s say this person decides to begin exercising, and to change up some eating habits, and also has the intention of losing some weight — not tied to some ideal weight, but would use that as one of a few outcomes to track the impact of her changes. So, over time, the change to eating patterns and to going from being sedentary to more physically active does lead to a return to the normal range of her fasting blood sugar. And, it has also led to losing perhaps 15 pounds. The new eating patterns and physical activity are feeling like a new norm, and not a constant struggle (but an occasional one), and there is minimal regaining of weight, and for a while at least, fasting blood sugar stays in the normal range. Let’s fast forward a few years, and perhaps all of the weight is regained, but the increased physical activity is maintained, but her fasting blood sugar again is up, and this time high enough to warrant a diagnosis of diabetes. Appropriate diabetes treatment is initiated, and there are again adjustments to physical activity and eating habits, as well as some medications added.

What role would I say the initial, intentional weight loss effort at the time of diagnosis of prediabetes played in the big picture for this individual?

I would say I don’t think it was harmful, given that it was driven by the individual, that the focus was on what she wanted to have happen, and with the hope that she did not tie her self-worth to the weight loss, or view herself as a failure for weight regain. That may or may not be what happens in the real world, but if that were so, I am left thinking that the intentional weight loss attempt wasn’t the wrong thing. It wasn’t the only possible response, but it was an okay one. Again, this is entirely made up — not a real person, so there are no real outcomes to report.

One of the problems I had with Linda Bacon’s book Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight is that to me, it advocated the same behaviors that are encouraged with weight loss, but without tying these behaviors to weight loss. I don’t have a problem with it now, but at the time, I thought, why would I ever eat less unless I thought I would lose weight? These days, I can see that for me, there are benefits to eating less overall, and eating less of specific foods, whether or not weight loss happens, but at the time I read that book, it seemed hypocritical to me — like it was advocating dieting but not weight loss. Of course, right there in the book Dr. Bacon points out that it’s likely to feel that way when you first read it, especially if you still associate changing eating habits with dieting rather than action you may take as a form of self-care.

I am in favor of self-experimentation with physical activity and switching up what one eats. I can see that in some cases, this may lead to a decline in weight, at least in the short term.

There’s something that comes to mind that Dr. Jon Robison writes in his article “10 Things You Can Do Right Now to Ease Concerns About Your Weight and Improve Your Health” that appeared in a special report from the Wellness Councils of America (WELCOA). (You can download the whole article here.) He writes:

Because the concepts that thin equals healthy and weight
loss equals better health are so deeply ingrained into
the fabric of our culture, after examining this different
approach people will often still ask this final question:
If I do all of this will I lose weight? The answer to this
question goes straight to the heart of the difference between
the Health-Centered and Weight-Centered Approaches.
The answer is that, if people follow the suggestions outlined
here, there are three and only three possibilities:
1. They will lose weight
2. They will gain weight
3. Their weight will not change
What is wonderful about this answer, unlike almost any other
answer related to this topic, is that it is undeniably scientific
and unarguably true. If people are above their natural
weight, they may lose some weight. If people are below their
natural weight, they may gain. If people are close to their
natural weight, they may stay the same. Which one of these
outcomes will occur is often not predictable. What is
predictable is that people will end up healthier and much
less concerned about their weight and their health.

I think my point is that if people do lose weight as a result of changes to physical activity patterns and eating patterns — whether or not that weight loss is maintained — is that bad? I think not. I do try to disconnect the concepts of health and weight loss and the behaviors that could lead to improved health with or without weight loss. I do think that on an individual level, if a person decides to make changes to their eating patterns and physical activity patterns, they will do well to keep Dr. Robison’s three potential outcomes in mind, and try to be as detached as possible from any particular outcome.

This is me next to a blooming dogwood tree. Photo snapped by a 6-year-old.

For me, doing a variety of things to better control my type 2 diabetes has resulted in a weight gain that has stabilized. I’m getting about 3 hours of moderate physical activity per week right now, and I’m not cutting back on my food intake, although I’m experimenting with what and when I eat — and, yeah, I wish my weight was down back where it was when I began the medication changes I needed to make six months ago. But I’m also in pretty good health — although there are some things I wish were different that do appear to be related to weight gain. I’m considering trying some other routes to diabetes control that might make it easier to eat less overall, by my experiencing less hunger, but I’m certainly taking the best possible care of myself at my current size, and fighting hard against any internal or external pushes to devalue myself because I’m at a higher weight — whether this weight gain is temporary or here to stay.

Beth D looks up to me, and I look up to this lot

Charlotte Cooper — 2012-05-25T06:33:10-07:00

I'm working hard trying to wind up my PhD. I spend most days grimacing at my computer for hours on end. There aren't many laughs round here at the moment.

A little bit of sweetness came my way last night, however. I was doing the washing-up from dinner and my girlfriend came in, she had been online and had seen a link to a new interview in which superstar of the universe Beth Ditto name-checked me as one of the fat activists she looks up to.

I get love mail from readers from time to time, it started when I published my first book in 1998 and it's never really stopped, so I know that there are people in the world who appreciate my work. I see my book in libraries, dog-eared, underlined, well-read. Because my life is not very glamorous or well-paid, and because I know and have known abuse, these little messages are a great boost. Coming from Beth, though, well, that's really excellent. I have met some of my heroes and they are generally disappointing, but Beth is in another league; she has heart, humanity and politics, she makes you want to dance, and she lights the way. To think that I do things that she respects is really exciting. Despite my current gloom and angst, I have allowed myself to crack a tiny, sneaky, proud smile.

This morning I was thinking about the people I look up to in fat activism. Fandom has little interest for me because it is dehumanising, it's kind of flat. What I seek is deep and rich mutual engagement with people's work and ideas. In this way, I think of myself as standing on the shoulders of giants, and I hope that people will use my shoulders too (though credit me if you use my work please!), and that in time there will be towers of us, interlinked. In 21st century Western culture there's a faith in this figure of the lone leader but in fat activism I think this is a myth and I would advise scepticism of anyone who claims to have invented this stuff, or is looking to be the spokesperson for the movement, because there are so many fantastic activists who came before the current generation and I want to see them name-checked too! More than scepticism, I would advise people to visit an archive, ask around, and bone up on fat activist histories. My Queer and Trans Fat Activist Timeline project can help with this.

So I thought I'd name some names. There are many people in fat activism that I respect, but these people are the bomb:

Llewellyn Louderback left fat activism almost as soon as he started it, but not without publishing an article and a book that had a big influence on the movement. Over 40 years later, Fat Power is still amazingly relevant. He had a vision and the means to realise it; we should all be so lucky.

The fat feminists. These women, often lesbians, developed a political analysis of fat that included intersectionality, community and culture. Their feminism enabled fat women to locate the sources of oppression and liberation in everyday moments. Their work is often painfully obscure, but they are heroes in my world, the muthas of the movement, I am indebted to them beyond belief for their work, which has enabled me and many others to thrive. Sara Golda Bracha Fishman, also known as Vivian Mayer and Aldebaran, Judy Freespirit and Lynn McAfee are the key people who come to mind. They developed The Fat Underground into an organisation that defined fat activism, and still does to a great extent. Judy and Lynn went on to develop other significant fat activist projects, Sara helped develop fat activism on the East Coast of the USA, and produced this excellent article: Life In The Fat Underground. Elana Dykewomon and Judith Stein were also associated with these women. Elana published the most startling essays and poems documenting early fat feminism; Judith was an important mover and shaker in Boston, pioneering women's health, fat activism, and Jewish lesbian feminist politics.

Heather Smith used fat feminism from the US to develop a fat feminist community in the UK in the late 1980s. Other women were involved with the London Fat Women's Group, but it is Heather's articles and appearances in the British media at that time that turned me onto fat activism. One day I hope we can sit down together over a coffee.

And then there are the queers! Kathleen LeBesco's work championing the queerness of fat bodies and fat activism is visionary. Allyson Mitchell's activism and art blows my mind, the same goes for Scottee's use of fat in performance, and Substantia's abundance of fat photoactivism. The NOLOSE Board have navigated tricky waters around race and gender with imagination and integrity. There's FaT GiRL too.

I have friends and loves whose fat activism moves me very much: hello Amanda, Devra, Kay, and Simon. There are people, too, that I will never know, but whose images spur me onwards: Divine, Fran Fullenwider, Judith Clarke's photograph of Banshee that I found in the GLBT Historical Society archive in San Francisco.

I know there are many names I have missed out, the more I think of people, the more names and faces pop up. But this is where I will leave it for now. Perhaps you might like to share your own giants, perhaps here in comments, or in posts of your own.

Thankful Thursday

Living 400lbs — 2012-05-24T23:15:51-07:00

Because it can be helpful to think about what’s going right.

1) My carpool.
2) Converting a favorite out-of-print exercise tape to DVD.
3) Allergies doing better.
4) The last book of Mira Grant’s trilogy is out and I loved so much of it. (The titles, in order, are Feed, Deadline, and Blackout. Do read in order.)
5) My boss is pleased with my work. This makes me happy.
6) That the other worlds I visit in books can take me out of myself.
7) The man of the house, who reminds me to eat and gives me backrubs when I feel low.

Filed under: fat acceptance

Can We Really Change Things?

danceswithfat — 2012-05-24T23:02:01-07:00

I get a lot of e-mails and comments from people who are discouraged by the amount of fat hate that exists, and how intense it has become. People sometimes ask if really I think that we can change anything. I also get lots of e-mails and comments from people asking what we can do to help create that change. Today I want to talk about both questions:

I do believe we can change things, because I’ve seen it happen. If you read this blog you know I rarely compare oppressed communities because I prefer to avoid playing the Oppression Olympics. I’m not trying to say that the Queer community and the Size Acceptance community are the same, but hear me out on this one:

In the summer of 1969 GLBT people had a mountain of prejudice in front of them. They were kicked out of public places in sweeps made by the police. Homosexuality was listed in the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical manual as a sociopathic personality disturbance. Lists of “known homosexuals” and their friends were kept by the FBI. Those who went to gay bars risked arrest and those who were arrested had their identities published in the newspaper. The Post Office tracked addresses to which queer-themed publications were sent. GLBT people were publicly humiliated, physically harassed, fired, jailed, or institutionalized. Until June 28th of 1969, GLBT civil rights groups had been using a non-confrontational educational approach.

Then, on June 28th, 1969 when the police raided the Stonewall Inn, a group of the most disenfranchised members of the GLBT community decided that they had had enough. They picked up beer bottles and bricks and spiked heel shoes and rioted. For the first time in, GLBT people fought back.

Forty three years later Will and Grace was a hit. We have openly gay politicians, actors, singers, comedians. People from Jay Zee to the actor who plays Captain America have come out in favor of gay marriage. As a member of the queer community I understand that we’re not there yet, but the Queer community has made tremendous strides in a relatively short time.

They didn’t give up using education and non-confrontational approaches, but they stopped pretending that everything was fine when it wasn’t, or that it was ok for people to “compassionately” put them in mental institutions. They stood up, they fought back. That’s how we make change. Nobody is required to be an activist, but if you want to work for change the good news is that there are lots of ways to fight, and it doesn’t have to be complicated:

The first thing we can do is just live. By doing what we want to do (shop, go to the gym, eat, take a pottery class whatever) in our fat bodies we help to normalize the fact that bodies come in a variety of sizes for a variety of reasons.

Be vocal about loving your body. Be vocal about choosing Health at Every Size. I think that talking about my SA and HAES is important and I don’t feel bad about it because I have to hear about weight-loss and diet constantly. We deserve a voice and at least equal airtime. They may not give it to us, but we can take it for ourselves. For tips on talking about these things check here, here, and here!

Speak out against weight bullying, body shaming and stigma whenever you hear or see them. If your employer sends out a weight loss e-mail, send an e-mail asking them to provide evidence, or telling them how it affects you negatively. When you see fat hate on the internet leave a reply – even if it seems like you are the only one or that you’ll never change the mind of the poster or other commenters, you’re not necessarily posting for them. You’re posting to put another tangible piece of HAES/SA into the world and for the person like you who is reading the comments and will now have another point of view. (Then you can post it to the Rolls Not Trolls community on Facebook and we’ll ninja fat bomb it with positive comments!) If you hear a fat shaming comment speak up, if you’re feeling non-confrontational you might try something like “I wish we lived in a world where people saw the beauty in bodies of every size” or something similar.

Be a big fat role model for whatever you love to do – it gives other fat people the idea that they can be a big fat role model. Tell anyone who says you’re “promoting obesity” to fuck right the hell off.

But it starts with just you, by yourself somewhere, deciding that you have had enough, that’s it’s time to pick up a rock and throw it – not because you’re sure it will change the world, but because you’ve had enough and it’s time to fight back and that if they want a war, you will give them one. As for me, I refuse to become collateral damage in the war on obesity – I will be a Size Acceptance warrior and together we will change the world.

There’s still time to Pre-order my book and get an autographed copy and free shipping!

Join the Club, Support My Work!

What I Wore: “If You Should Ever Leave Me, Well Life Will Still Go On Believe Me”

Stiletto Siren — 2012-05-24T13:37:49-07:00

Hey Curvy Chicks!

Ok, I will be the first to admit that today I feel like some rock n roll/RainbowBrite/teenage rebellion version of a Sister-wife LOL. I think its the height of my pompadour and how it ended up setting itself today in a combination with the maxi dress which is a length I don’t typically venture to since I’m such a shorty. Whatever this look really is though, I am loving it and that’s what counts! Today is a pretty basic day for me, running some errands, hanging around the house working on a few things and I decided it was a perfect day to show off my new maxi dress sent to me by my lovely friends at IGIGI and embrace the style and the level of ease and comfort that comes along with it!

Spike Earrings: Fuego/Octopus Necklace: Gift From Mom/Antonia Dress In Lagoon Blue: IGIGI (Gifted)/

Bangles: Torrid/Animal Print Flats: Maurices

I have been dying to get my hands on a designer maxi dress perfect for Summer and when I saw the Antonia Dress in Lagoon Blue on the IGIGI site I knew I had found just what I was looking for. I instantly was attracted the fact that this dress was intended to hit the woman wearing it just above the ankle which made me feel like it would actually be a great maxi length for my 5’4″ frame. I WAS RIGHT! I love being right. While this dress would be fabulous just above the ankle on a taller woman it hits right at the floor on me making it perfect to wear with flats, which I never imagined I would be able to do. The second thing that caught my eye about this dress was the beautiful color. The Lagoon Blue is so majestic, bright and summery I thought it would be a perfect addition to my wardrobe to brighten things up with the ability to dress it up or dress it down. The quality of this dress is exactly what I have come to expect from IGIGI with high quality fabrics and special attention to detail. It is so soft and comfortable and is also so flattering with the short sleeves, v-neck, and of course the stunning princess knot that is the perfect addition to the waistline. Proof again that IGIGI is always bringing pieces designed with our curves in mind. I received the dress in a size 18/20 after following the size charts and it fits very true to size and honestly like a dream. I don’t think I could ask for a better dress for my shape and for the look I was after. To make the look a little bit more me I accessorized with some spike earrings, my octopus necklace, bangles and animal print peep toe flats. Such a fun look for me today thanks to IGIGI!

What are you wearing today?

xoxo

Stiletto

Adipositivity 547

The Adipositivity Project — 2012-05-23T17:00:00-07:00

Adipose: Of or relating to fat. Positivity: Characterized by or displaying acceptance or affirmation. MISSION: The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that's normally unseen. The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally. The photographs here are sometimes close details of the fat female form, often without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they're looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance. The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you've clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends. This is what they look like with their clothes off. Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal. Bookmark adipositivity.com and check back often, as new photographs are added regularly(ish). And please help spread the message. The Adipositivity Project: Changing attitudes about the aesthetic validity of big women, one fat fanny at a time. ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER: Substantia Jones’ photography has been exhibited in galleries and museums throughout the US East Coast, and has appeared in The New York Times, Time Out New York, and some other publications she can’t recall at this time, but you probably haven’t heard of them anyway. She is biographied in the 2006 Who’s Who in America (though under the name her momma gave her), and back in the day, she won some photography awards which would sound somewhat Mayberry if listed here, but at the time, they damn near made her cry. Still kinda do. She lives in Manhattan, where she also sometimes steps out (more like lays around) in front of the camera, and on some of those occasions, the snapping is done by her trusty sidekick, Dr. H, who also fetches her banana popsicles and maintains her muse, a certain pancake colored dog who’s asked that his name not be mentioned on the Internet. Ms. Jones likes crispy calamari, Squidbillies, and the ika okonomiyaki from Otafuku in the East Village, if only the lines weren’t so long. Thou shalt not reproduce without permission. Except for babies. Make all o' them you want. © The Adipositivity Project 2007-2012

Making sense of obesity dollar statistics. If you can.

Shaunta — 2012-05-20T09:33:06-07:00

This morning I came across this article by David Katz on Huffington Post: Obesity, Be Dammed!

First, I love how the author is so proud of his clever title. He literally spelled it out for us, to make sure we got it. (Did you feel his elbow in your ribs?)

Second, this is really just another boring eat-less-exercise-more article with a belabored tie in to childhood drowning.

It was this sentence that caught my eye, though:

The novel elements that figured in the programming this time around included, for one, a new perspective on the price tag — the opportunity to save, or spend, over a half-trillion dollars on obesity between now and 2030.

It isn’t very well written, and I had to go to the link to get what he was trying to say. The report that Katz is talking about in this article suggests that finding a cure for obesity would save the US over half-a-trillion dollars. Apparently, Katz finds this a stunning turn around from talking about fat people costing the US over half-a-trillion dollars. Whatever.

But here’s where I wish I could raise my hand in front of my laptop and ask a question.

Does that half-a-trillion represent all the health care a fattie needs in a lifetime? Just the obesity-related diseases? How much does treatment for diabetes, heart disease, and . . . whatever . . . cost non-fat people? It’s so simplistic to throw a big scary number out there, without delving a little deeper.

Book Review: FAT KID RULES THE WORLD by K.L. Going

Shaunta — 2012-05-18T08:33:26-07:00

Okay. I haven’t posted in months. I’m a bad, bad, blogger. It’s weird to jump back in with a book review, I guess. But I’m going there. Because I stayed up until two this morning finishing K.L. Going’s Fat Kid Rules the World, and it absolutely rocked my world.

In a nutshell, Fat Kid Rules the World, is about a kid named Troy Billings who is 17 and weighs 300 pounds. He’s standing on a subway platform contemplating suicide, when he is interrupted by a filthy homeless kid named Curt MacCrae who turns out to be a musical legend at Troy’s high school. A punk rock guitar god. And that fast, Troy’s world changes. Because Curt decides to start a punk rock band called Rage/Tectonic, and names Troy (who doesn’t know how to play the drums) his drummer.

Troy hates himself. His life revolves around deciding whether or not people are laughing at him (usually, he concludes that they are) and whether or not what they are laughing at is really funny. His hyper-self-consciousness is so real. His feeling of taking up too much space made my heart hurt. And then watching that unwind as he learns how to play the drums, and internalizes the idea that yes, the rock god wants to be his friend (in public even), is seriously great.

I love that the story starts with Curt saving Troy, and ends with Troy saving Curt. I love that the military dad who sends his kid to fat camp and nutritionists and obsesses over his weight, gets it at the end and turns out to be kind of a rock star himself. I love that the story doesn’t tie up in a pretty bow, but that the main feeling at the end is hope. I love that Troy starts and ends the novel at 300 pounds and that in the final scene he embraces his bigness.

Fat Kid Rules the World is strongly grounded in the real world. There’s child abuse, neglect, homelessness, suicidal depression, drug use, several F bombs. But one of the things that turned me on the most was the feeling that when Troy meets Curt, he might has well have been following the white rabbit. The punk rock world he finds himself in is his Wonderland. I think what I love most of all is that Going has created a world where the fat kid and the skinny neglected kid can be punk rock legends in their own time. I want to live in that world.

This book wasn’t perfect. In places, Troy’s inner self-bashing dialogue was a little heavy-handed. The book is less than 200 pages long, so I think there was room for the plot to unfold a little slower. Especially at the end, when the big revelations piled on each other. But these things are so small in comparison to the awesomeness that is this book as a whole. Please read it. And then give it to a kid to read. Share it with a friend.

Shop Til You Drop: New City Chic Favorites ON SALE!

Stiletto Siren — 2012-05-24T06:21:24-07:00

Hey Curvy Chicks!

Last night I was having a hard time sleeping so I of course spent the wee hours of the morning doing what I do best, SHOPPING! I visited some of my tried and true retailers that I hadn’t checked out in a few weeks and came across not only some awesome new pieces at preferred retailer City Chic but also realized that all of the items on the site are currently marked down for some steals on Spring and Summer fashions! Check out my favorites:

Ombre Dream Maxi Skirt (btw I totally bought this!)

Hi-Lo Wrap Dress

Graphic Dip Dye Tunic

Wild Dyed Maxi Dress

As I mentioned before EVERYTHING is marked down at City Chic right now which is great for stocking up on some awesome new pieces for Summer. Also if you are looking for plus size shorts that are made with your curvy curves in mind I highly recommend the shorts from City Chic, as I have quite a few pairs of them that I LIVE IN all summer long. Free shipping as always is some extra icing on the shopaholic cake, thanks City Chic!

What do you think of the items I selected? See anything else that caught your fancy?

xoxo

Stiletto

Dieting and Logic Make Poor Bedfellows

danceswithfat — 2012-05-24T00:36:57-07:00

There are a couple of things that I see used as “proof” of why we should continue to cling to the idea that intentional weight loss is a good idea that involve some seriously questionable logic.

The first and most obvious issue is that, while most people can lose some weight on almost any diet, almost everyone gains it back in the long term. We have no idea how to make people permanently thin. But we get fooled into believing that if temporary weight loss is possible then permanent long term weight loss must also be possible by just doing the same things for longer, or forever. There’s absolutely no reason to believe that. In fact, the evidence shows the opposite.

The evidence we have says that nearly everyone regains the weight within 5 years no matter how they lost it. So a lot of studies stop follow up after a few months or a year and say “See, look – it worked!” I’ve actually seen studies where the researchers said “we assume that if the weight stays off for a year then it will stay off permanently.” That’s a completely ridiculous thing to say in general for a researcher, but especially when the data we DO have says that weight is regained in 2-5 years. The diet industry has refused to study long-term efficacy of dieting because it would be “too depressing for their clients”. That’s like giving women thalidomide for morning sickness but not tracking the incidence of birth defects because it’s “too depressing for future moms.” How is this defensible? If you can’t get funding for a study with 5 year follow up then any study that you do on weight loss at this point is a waste of money.

The next faulty logic they employ is the belief that losing weight will make people healthier. This weight loss = health idea is based on the assumption that becoming “normal weight” is the same thing as having always been “normal weight”. There’s no proof that’s true – that assumption has never been tested. People come in lots of different sizes for lots of different reasons. In some cases illness causes weight gain, or medication, the person’s natural body size, or something else. Not to mention that the weight loss/ weight cycling process itself could cause health issues, weight loss causes a host of physiological reactions that change the body’s metabolism and athletic potential, sometimes permanently.

By far the most common outcome of weight loss attempts is weight gain, that much is clear. Weight loss attempts have the exact opposite of the intended effect a staggering percentage of the time. It’s possible that fat people have shorter life spans than thin people, or have more illness than thin people (though I think the evidence shows that is mitigated by healthy habits) but if being fat is bad for us then dieting is the absolutely LAST thing anyone should be recommending since the most likely outcome is that we’ll be fatter. It’s like saying that the only way we know how to help joint pain is for people to fly, so everyone with some knee pain should grab a sheet and jump off their roof. If they don’t want people to be bigger than they are now, then recommending weight loss is the worst idea.

Based on the weight loss industry’s numbers, the more dieting we’ve done the bigger we’ve become (since they tell us that obesity has increased at the same as their profits) Yet the recommendation that we keep hearing is that we should keep trying to lose weight. This is just nuts! Anyone can see that it’s not going to work. Putting bunches of people on diets sets us up for years and years of “obesity epidemic” rhetoric since dieting will reliably create bigger people. The only people who benefit from this are the ones selling the diets…hey, wait a minute – you don’t suppose that’s what this is about do you? They have over 50 years of data to say that their product will work in the short term, fail in the long term, but that people will just keep coming back from more. Plus they get to use the money we paid them for the product that didn’t work to sell it to us again (including celebrity endorsers who get paid more than 30,000 a POUND to lose weight) to sell the product back to us. What the hell?

I wonder how much encouragement of weight loss there would be if we all stopped giving money to the weight loss industry. No weekly Weight Watchers fees, no $20,000 stomach amputation surgeries. If we de-funded the diet industry there wouldn’t be anyone left to spend millions of dollars (to make billions of dollars) selling us magic beans that, in billions of tries over half a century, have never reliably produced beanstalks.

If you’re looking for some inspiration, a slideshow that a number of us have been working on for a while is finally up on NBCs iVillage! Thirty Three women who said “I quit” to dieting and are happier and healthier for it!

Don’t Forget to Pre-order my book and get an autographed copy and free shipping!

Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Navigating a Thin-Obsessed World with Your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact, with foreword by Marilyn Wann is now available for pre-order. No diet tips, no magic beans. Just a book about living life in the body that you have now, making decisions about what you want in the future, and how to get there. Whether you want to change your body, fight for size acceptance, just live your life, or understand and support your fat friends and family, this book was written to provide the insights, aha moments, humor, and hard facts to help.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

Facts are Bullshit

(author unknown) — 2012-05-24T19:25:10-07:00

Who needs facts when you've got prejudice and 'common sense' on your side? Obviously not this guy. Trigger warning for diet and weight loss talk, classism and fatphobia. A conversation courtesy of an image on Facebook on a friend's wall. The D00D is not my friend, thankfully, but a friend of a friend.

Me: Besides crap food being more readily available and cheaper than the nutrtional stuff, obesity is a 70% inheritable trait. Fat kids likely have fat parents and other close family.

D00D: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullshit. fat kids are fat because they eat crap and dont excersise. 70% inheritable through lifestyle perhaps, but dont give me the genealogy thing here.

Me: Call buuuuullshit all you want, I'll show you the NYT article that quotes the study, buddy. The calories in/calories out, fat just because of diet argument wont fly with me, because IT is bullshit. I strongly recommend you read this article and educate yourself before you further embarass yourself on V's facebook wall. (Fatstronauts 101 by Melissa McEwan at Shakesville)

D00D: so let me get this straight, you dont think that a dramatic change in the types and style of food consumption, coupled with the dramatic changes in our lifestyle habits has much to do with the rampant obesity in children? kids are fat asses today because they traded home cooked staples full of vitamins and nutrients for quick fix costco ready made meal, and thats when they are not eating at McDonalds. they traded in exercise in the streets with their friends for wii tennis and world of warcraft. they traded in moderate eating habits for eating massive amounts of food because it gives them something to do during their sedentary, boredom filled day. Im tired of hearing politically correct reasons for why our new generations are failing biologically and cognitively - it is of our own construct and it is time we take ownership of it. put down the fries and pick up some greens... and do some sit ups - problem solved.

Random Friend: Yay! Classism and fatphobia! MY FAVESIES! (I had to 'like' her comment because damn, spot on.)

Me: "put down the fries and pick up some greens... and do some sit ups - problem solved" LOL FOREVER. If there was a guaranteed way to make fat people thin, we'd be all over that, but there isn't, so the diet and weight loss industries get to keep making billions of dollars a year off of fat people's insecurity and the OMGOBESITYEPIDEMIC!!!! 95% of diets fail, and I'm not talking the fad diet kind. Every time someone diets, 95% of the time the weight comes back with friends. D00D, did you even read the entire article? Noone is saying that some people aren't fat because of poor diet and/or bad excersise habits. My point is, and same with the article, is that it's a much more complicated situation, and 'put down the french fries and go run some laps' is not, and has never been, the solution. If it WAS there wouldn't be a fat person on the planet-there are no social, emotional or mental benefits from being fat. Many fat folk would trade their existance of constant ridicule and mockery in a heartbeat if simply moving more and eating less would do the trick. IT DOESN'T.
Sorry, V, but your buddy there obviously has no idea what he's talking about and while he's entitled to his own opinions, he's not entitled to his own facts.

(I posted up a couple of more links to data and such, hoping he'd either read and change his mind (HA!) or at least shut up gracefully, but to no avail.)

D00D: no i did not read the article fully. in fact, i did not read it at all. i didnt read it for the same reason i wouldnt read christian science articles explaining away fossil records of dinosaurs. because its bullshit. kids are fatter than ever, and its not because of genes. and yes, there is a miracle cure - diet and exercise. and no, not everybody would jump on it because it implies work and dedication to a healthy lifestyle. putting down french fries and doing laps is definitely a solution, and one that works a hell of a lot better than accepting a false fact that you are per-disposed to being fat and then eating whatever the hell you want. lets put it this way - there were no fat cave men, in developing nations where food is not scarce and an active lifestyle is had there is very low levels of obesity.

Me: Your need to hang on to your own prejudices in the face of evidence is telling. I'm sad for you. Since you wont bother to educate yourself, this convo is indeed over.

A 50-75% Chance of "Needing" a Cesarean?

Well-Rounded Mama — 2012-05-23T21:53:28-07:00

Another gem from My OB Said What?!?

“You Have A 50-75% Chance Of Needing A Cesarean Section Next Time…”

“You have a 50-75% chance of needing a cesarean section next time, because you are short and overweight.”

– Perinatologist to mother during preconception meeting...after the mother had already had a successful vaginal birth

This is how many doctors perceive us because of our size (both height and weight). They simply conclude that there is virtually no way for us to birth a baby vaginally, never considering that their own biases around size and their common interventions with short/fat women (inducing early, having a low threshold for surgery) influences these outcomes.

The kicker here is that this woman has already had a vaginal birth, and despite difficult conditions too. Once you've had a vaginal birth, your chances of having another is greatly increased....yet in his eyes, this doesn't really count at all if you are fat and short.

Older women get the same kind of grief. And so do VBAC moms. And it's all nonsense, frankly.

Yes, there is some research showing higher c-section rates in fat women, older women, short women, blah blah blah. But RARELY do they consider whether it's really that "risk factor" or instead the way they manage the labors of these women and the fear they have around these risk factors that increases the cesarean rate more than the risk factor itself.

In obstetric research,the problem is always assumed to be with the woman. Not the care provider's management or perceptions of risk, but somehow the fault of the woman herself (or her obesity, or her age, or her shortness, yadda yadda). I almost never see studies raise the question of provider perception or management at all.

It's time for care providers to recognize that their management of women is an integral part of high c-section rates in certain groups...not the only factor, but a much stronger factor than is generally acknowledged.

I have a dear online friend who is currently having a difficult time finding a provider who will support her for a VBAC. This despite the fact that she has already had TWO VBACs. It doesn't matter; they just see that she's fat and had a prior cesarean.

This is really pissing me off. Especially since I'm all of the above. I'm short, "morbidly obese", old, and a VBAC mom. Most doctors would look at me and tell me I had NO chance of having a vaginal birth because of these four risk factors....and yet I did. Twice.

Risk factors are not absolute sentences. MOST women, even with risk factors, can birth just fine, if they can just get care providers to "let" them have an adequate chance at it.

It's long past time for care providers (and researchers) to recognize that the way providers manage and perceive women with risk factors has a lot to do with the outcomes associated with them.

Things to read

Living 400lbs — 2012-05-23T19:43:12-07:00

From Jezebel’s Work-Life Balance Isn’t Just for Moms:

The basic point of all of this is that whether you have kids, have a partner but no kids, or are living alone, working too much sucks. It’s no way to live, and we’re not dummies. So at some point, most of us realize that we’d rather do something that allows us to actually have a life, rather than commit every waking hour to a job, no matter how fulfilling we find it.

This is why I’ve been avoiding startups.

Jezebel also had a good post from Lindy West on an Adipositivity Project photo being used as “a joke”.

Can you believe fat people? Just existing willy-nilly all over the place, sometimes without even the courtesy to cloak their terrible bodies in heavy smocks and caftans.

Why, they even expect their copyrights to be respected?!? It’s as if they think they’re people!

Why Obesity is NOT an Eating Disorder:

An ED is a serious emotional problem/illness and obesity is a measure of height and weight. … The comparison between obesity and eating disorders is [akin] to comparing an apple with a chair. You can’t sit in an apple and you can’t eat a chair!

This sort of armchair misdiagnosing does not help anybody, especially not those with actual eating disorders.

Filed under: Anti-fat bigotry, Mental health, Size-Positive Art, Work

The Right to Talk about Fat Experience

fatbodypolitics — 2012-05-23T14:07:16-07:00

When fat people try to talk about their own experiences with body shame, fat stigma or weight based discrimination they are always challenged in a way to undermine the significance of them with people exclaiming that some of those experiences also happen to people in thin bodies. While the truth is that many of the shaming tactics used toward fat people do happen to thin people as well, the outcry from thin people to also feel as though we must validate their experience ignores the reality that they always have their experiences validated by every mainstream body positive organization or campaign that has ever existed.

The dominant discourse that surrounds the body acceptance movement as a whole is one that is directly geared toward thin bodies and the lack of voices from fat people are not noticed unless you are fat yourself. People who think that the voices of thin people are not being talked about enough in fat positive spaces are inadvertently reinforcing fat oppression. They do this by undermining the experiences of fat people because they feel as though it happens to everyone. Not only is this incorrect because the motive behind body shaming and stigma of a fat person and a thin person can be drastically different but the ways fat stigma takes part in being a fat person in society turns into actual discrimination. When dismissing fat experience by saying that thin people also have those same experience a person is completely ignoring that they still have the privilege that comes from living in a thin body.

Fat people do not have to make space for thin people when discussing their own experiences because of this privilege and due to the reality that thin people do not make space for our voices in their own discussions. When a dominant group tries to invalidate the experience of an oppressed group it is actively working to silence them. Coming from a place of privilege and expecting an oppressed group to make space for your experience is not only insulting but shows that you are not really interested in understanding the difference among experience or forms of oppression. This also happens within the feminist movement when white feminists expect black feminists to open their spaces to be ‘inclusive’ when those same white feminists do not make their spaces open for all women or experiences.

As a white fat female with some thin privilege I do not have the right to expect fat spaces for people who are larger than I am or any other group that I do not fit into to open and validate my experience. If they allow me to be part of their space I am not only grateful for it but I spend my time listening and learning not expecting them to include me. I also actively try to understand the privileges that I do have so that I can understand the difference between my own experiences and theirs. We should be celebrating difference not pushing it aside and ignoring it.

As fat people we have the right to talk about our experiences without being bullied into validating the experiences of thin people who feel like we don’t talk about the similarities among us. We need to start expecting people with thin privilege who are also advocates of body acceptance to make our voices heard and not brush them aside. We need to call people and organizations out for creating a form of acceptance that doesn’t challenge fat stigma or discrimination. We need to tell them that our experiences matter, that they are different and that difference is something that can help all people regardless of size.

And Now We Have Proof: Diets Are Screwing Up Our Eating Patterns All Over The World

Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. — 2012-05-23T08:31:55-07:00

Seriously. (Image courtesy of someecards)

Jezebel and NPR reported something interesting yesterday about the eating patterns of dieters. As the day progresses, dieters’ food choices get less and less “healthy.”

This information is based on a review of 500,000 meals that were recorded in 50 countries by the users of the app Eatery, a dieting app which requires users to rate their meals by their healthiness. Of course, this is not a scientific study, but the sheer vastness of the data is still interesting.

The data shows that as the day progresses, people choose less and less healthy food, and tend to snack on unhealthy food at night. (Of course, we have no idea what people are considering healthy or unhealthy, but I’ll leave that alone for now.)

What’s interesting to me is not just this pattern, but the conclusions that the writers at NPR and Jezebel made. Both made the argument that we need more willpower. Ted Burnham at NPR wrote, “So summon your willpower, skip the midnight snack, and go to sleep already! Your waistline may thank you in the morning.”

Wow, Ted, why didn’t all of these people think of that?! Genius! (*headdesk*)

Self reported healthy eating map (image courtesy of Massive Health -- which sounds sort of HAES-y, if you ask me)

Cassie Murdoch at Jezebel also made a comment about willpower, but seemed to have a little more understanding of the issue by writing, “Or it could be that the foods we turn to later in the evening aren’t as healthy by nature—dessert, chips—than what we’d turn to for breakfast. In any event, next time you’re indulging in a little midnight decadence, at least you know you’re not alone.”

The strange thing is that both of these writers took this behavior to just be human behavior, without considering the fact that this is a self-selected group of dieters using an app to track what they eat. In other words, this isn’t everyone. Dieters often start the day with fresh resolve to “eat really healthily” and as the day progresses, they get hungry. They feel deprived. And once the day is done and no one is around to talk about dieting or see what they’re eating, they grab what they can.

This pattern is not a healthy relationship to food, or even a “normal” relationship to food. This is a pattern created by the rules of dieting and the lies we tell ourselves when we do it.

And Now We Have Proof: Diets Are Screwing Up Our Eating Patterns All Over The World originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on May 23, 2012.

My Fat Art

Not Blue at All — 2012-05-23T05:00:05-07:00

As I mentioned last week, I’d been working on some mini paintings and I am finally ready to show and share and sell them! Woo! Here is the series:

Each painting is acrylic and is signed and numbered. They are on 2″ x 2″ canvas. Each is sealed with a glossy Liquitex.

For $15 you get a painting of your choice and two “Fat” buttons (one of each color/font, I will pick). Free shipping (in the U.S. +$2 for international). Each painting was my own unique design/creation. They were painted in a house with a Pug and Tabby, but kept out of their reach. To buy a painting Please stipulate which painting you want (#1, #2, etc) and leave your PayPal related email address in comments or email it directly to me (email addy below).

If the painting you would like has been sold or previously claimed, I will happily make you a new one all of your own. Simply leave me a comment and I will respond accordingly. OR if you would like something similar but in different colors or in another size, email me: notblueatall@notblueatall.com and I’m sure we can come to an arrangement. Questions and offers welcome.

I hope you like them. They started out as mindless doodles and turned into quite a bit of fun! I enjoy looking at them and am surprised at how they came together so smoothly.This is the first time I’ve ever even considered selling my artwork, but I know I can trust my beloved readers and friends. Thank you for looking and reading this blog and supporting me in any way that you do or can. You rock my socks! <3 S

(#2 & #5 have sold, but I can of course recreate for you if you would like.)

Product Review: Simply Be

sleepydumpling — 2012-05-23T03:36:35-07:00

Recently I was contacted by Simply Be, a UK plus-size clothing retailer to ask if I’d like to review some of their product here on Fat Heffalump. Always keen to try out new plus-size options on the market and share whether they’re any good, I said yes!

They sent me two dresses out of a selection of pieces that I liked the look of on their website. The first was this cute teal skater dress, from the Angels and Ribbons label:

I teamed mine with pale blue tights from We Love Colors, the grey suede booties that Autograph Fashion gave me after wearing them in the Women’s Weekly fashion shoot, and a pair of cute long earrings in an antique gold look with pale blue “stones” that I’ve had for ages. The first thing that I noticed about this dress was the fabric. It’s thick, soft and solid. It looks like it will last for ages. The dress is actually more teal than this photo shows. It is well made, has good facing around the neckline to make it sit nicely and has lots of shape cut into it with that kind of princess style around the bust. I can see myself wearing it with pants or leggings as well as tights. It is definitely a winter dress for here in Brisbane though – I think I’d swelter in it during our summer.

They also sent me this Angel Sleeve Jersey Tunic dress, which has a really cute floral:

Excuse the very dorky photograph of me! I teamed this one with a cardigan from Target Australia, We Love Colors leggings and my Autograph black riding boots. Oh and some big old earrings I have from Diva I think.

This dress isn’t made of as high grade fabric as the skater dress, but it’s such a fab print, bright and colourful and something that could be mixed and matched with all colours and shapes. It’s very soft on, and has the prettiest fluttery sleeves (sadly which are covered by my cardie). I think I’ll wear this one a lot. I’m not sure it will last as long as the teal one though.

They stock from size 12UK – 32UK. In both cases, I got a UK32 in size, which fit me generously and I’m normally a size 26AU.

I found quite a few garments on the website that I really liked. They also stock Anna Scholz and Zandra Rhodes among other labels.

The only disappointing thing is, it doesn’t seem that Simply Be ship to Australia. But they have affiliate sites for the US and Europe.

Anyone else had experience with Simply Be? Share in the comments!

Filed under: clothing, fatshion, plus-sizes, reviews, shopping, Simply Be

Girl Scouts – Cookie Sales and Calorie Counting?

danceswithfat — 2012-05-22T23:07:40-07:00

The Girl Scouts of America made a massive misstep by partnering with the profit-motivated Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation and misappropriating $250,000 to teach Girl Scouts weight control tricks, the most likely outcome of which is an unhealthy relationship with food and disordered eating…

Or that’s how the press release should have started. When I read the actual release (which is from November, 2011 but has recently been recirculated) it struck me that they seemed strangely proud of the fact that they are touting Calories In/Calories Out, otherwise known as “energy balance” theory. In fact the title of the press release is “Fighting Obesity with Calories In Calories Out.” I think I can explain that (and I will in a moment) but first let’s take a look at how many ways this is wrong:

First, “Simple Calories In/Calories Out” is probably the most prevalent and persistent myth that exists when it comes to health and weight. Even if they are suggesting it as a method of “preventing obesity”, the main problem is that it’s so difficult to figure out the calories out part of the equation. Almost everyone knows someone who eats tons of food never works out and stays thin. On the other side, almost everyone knows a fat person who eats healthy and exercises but doesn’t lose weight (although, curiously, the calories in /calories out proponents typically say that the former is perfectly normal and the latter is impossible). There is no evidence to suggest that this works. Worse, it tells girls not to trust their bodies and hunger but to count calories and focus on their weight – a dangerous combination according to studies.

Surely they’re not suggesting it for weight loss since it’s been studied repeatedly since at least 1959 with consistent results: utter failure.

In fact, encouraging weight control in kids is highly suspect, perhaps even dangerous. Over the last decade (since we’ve been focusing on kid’s weight) the number of hospitalizations for eating disorders in kids under twelve is up 119%. According to research from the University of Minnesota “None of the behaviors being used by adolescents (in 1999) for weight-control purposes predicted weight loss[in 2006]…Of greater concern were the negative outcomes associated with dieting and the use of unhealthful weight-control behaviors, including significant weight gain.” And yes Virginia, that includes “energy balancing”.

I think that the biggest problem with this completely overblown “OmigodChildhoodObesity Panic” is that it has given way to the idea that we don’t need to test interventions because there’s just. no. time. So we’re experimenting on a generation of kids. And we’re doing multiple experiments at the same time – their school has some untested, unproven interventions. Their doctor has some unproven, untested interventions. Their extracurricular activities are apparently getting in on the mix. I got an e-mail from a read who was watching the Armed Forces Network and they had a commercial where a little girl was a role model because she was taking things off her friends trays and telling them what to eat. Where’s the evidence that little girls bullying little kids results in greater health or thinner kids. If I tried to get IRB approval for this I would get laughed out – it’s dangerous and inappropriate.

So how did this go so wrong? Who is the Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation?

Let’s start with the information that it’s President is also on the board of the Girl Scouts. She has an impressive brand management resume but absolutely no background in health or scientific research.

The board chair is the chairman and CEO of PepsiCo. Impressive business resume, not a single health qualification, or research background.

The Board Chair Emeritus is the CEO of Kellogs. No health qualifications, no research background.

The Vice Chair is the CEO of Hy-Vee (operates more than 230 retail stores in eight Midwestern states). No health qualifications, no research background.

Not to brag, but I have a decently impressive business background as well as research and fitness credentials so let me float a theory: These people are interested in promoting “energy balance” because it takes to focus off the quality of the food – which is an area where they would otherwise be heavily scrutinized. They get to say that they are “doing something” about childhood obesity while taking the attention off of their food, and they are doing with with government money and, unbelievably, public donations which they are comfortable asking for on their website (minimum donation – $50)

I don’t actually care what their major malfunction is, they have absolutely no right to run for-profit/CYA experiments on kids.

Whatever your beliefs about the so-called “Childhood Obesity Epidemic”, it’s important to know that we have no idea how to change kid’s weight (or whether a kid’s extra weight is due to their upcoming growth spurt, their body’s natural size, or something else). There is no proof that teaching calorie counting to Brownies and Girl Scouts makes them healthier or less likely to be fat. There is plenty of evidence that suggests that teaching calorie counting to Brownies and Girl Scouts makes them more likely to develop eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. There is no reason in the world to risk it. If someone is suggesting an “obesity prevention” initiative for your kids (or for you) demand to see the evidence that it works long-term and that it doesn’t do harm. We do not have to be the subjects in a grand (and highly profitable for everyone but us) anti-obesity experiment.

Pre-order my book and get an autographed copy and free shipping!

My book Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Navigating a Thin-Obsessed World with Your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact, with foreword by Marilyn Wann is now available for pre-order. No diet tips, no sleight of hand. Just a book about living life in the body that you have now, making decisions about what you want in the future, and how to get there. Whether you want to change your body, fight for size acceptance, just live your life, or understand and support your fat friends and family, this book was written to provide the insights, aha moments, humor, and hard facts to help.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

Everyone now: Put your crutches in the air!

joannadeadwinter — 2012-05-22T20:27:14-07:00

So as of May 14, I am newly employed. It’s a position in a children’s retail chain and I am …

Baby, baby

heidi — 2012-05-22T16:33:02-07:00

We found out yesterday that my husband’s brother, and his partner, had their baby. They’re in Australia, which means a delay in news (as well as in cuddling my new little niece!) but I’m thrilled to bits to be an auntie for the first time. So close to my son’s sixth birthday (how [...]

Oh, it’s satire? I guess that makes it okay then.

KellyK — 2012-05-22T15:28:00-07:00

Just got this lovely bit of bile via the Repeal Amendment One Facebook group. It’s a “Westboro Baptist Church” parody calling for a “Gluttony Amendment” with catchy slogans like “God Hates Fats.”

I’m sorry, I’m going to have to put on my official “Fat Advocate with No Sense of Humor” hat and declare this to be in really poor taste. Yes, yes, I get the parallels. But the thing is “You wouldn’t misuse the Bible against *that* group of people” only works when people aren’t doing that very thing on a continual basis. “A Modest Proposal” would not have been satire if people were already roasting and selling Irish babies.

Fat people *do* get death threats. They *do* have people saying “Thank God for diabetes and heart attacks.” There are attempts to legislate fat people out of existence by bullying us “for our own good” or taxing junk food or giving kids “diet” lunches.

And, predictably, when commenters said, “Um, WTF?” the “It’s a joke” card was played. Because saying that you’re joking magically removes any harmful effects that your words have. The pastor who advocated beating up your kids if they “act gay” fell back on that same tired defense. “Oh, I was joking.” Maybe that would’ve been more apparent if you were, you know, actually funny.

Loving Your Body

loniemc — 2012-05-22T10:18:58-07:00

A very interesting conversation has been going on in the tumblrverse about the meme of loving your body. Marianne Kirby argues that this meme can be problematic. Kirby explained her issues with the concept on her tumblr page:

It’s very much coming from a place where people want to feel good about themselves and to help other people feel good about themselves, too.

But it homogenizes bodily experience and feeling - basically it dictates the One True Way people are “supposed” to feel about their bodies. And that skeeves me. Because there are lots of reasons people have complicated relationships with their bodies - from trans identity to disability to body dysmorphia in general and so on.

I also think that for someone just coming off dieting or an eating disorder, loving the body is far too tall of an order. I found loving my body to be unfathomable at first and not something I could force. Feeling love for the body can be incredibly challenging, and really is not necessary in my experience.

However, I found that accepting my body is very important. For me, the ideas expressed in the Serenity Prayer, popular in recovery circles, are applicable in this situation:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I spent many years hating my body and not accepting it as it was. I did myself a great deal of emotional and physical damage with that state of mind.

So, I had to make acceptance important. I could change some things such as becoming stronger or flexible. However, after 30 years of trying, I had to accept my weight as it was.

Additionally, I must accept my body as it is before I can make any improvements. I have to accept my current level of fitness before I can make progress, or I wind up injured and in worse shape. I have to accept my health where it is before I can address any issues, before I try to make it better.

To me feeling love for the body is not as important as accepting it and honoring it. Yet, I think accepting and honoring are forms of love – love the verb. We tend to think of love as a feeling – that ooey-gooey feeling we usually associate with the term. That feeling is wonderful, but fleeting even in the best of relationships or situations.

What is not fleeting is the choice to act lovingly, whether it be to ourselves or others. I can always choose to act lovingly towards my body, no matter how I feel about it. I can always choose to connect with my body. I can always choose to feed it and exercise it according to its needs. I cannot control how I feel about it.

So, in my viewpoint, trying to feel love for my body really isn’t important. Choosing to treat my body with respect and honor, to act lovingly towards it, is vital.

the HAES files: Why Obesity is NOT an Eating Disorder

healthateverysizeblog — 2012-05-22T08:28:32-07:00

by Jon Robison, PhD, MS

From time to time I overhear or read about people discussing whether obesity should be considered an Eating Disorder (ED). I have even seen obesity listed along with anorexia and bulimia as if it were just common knowledge that it belonged there. This is just wrong on so many levels that it almost seems like it is not worth acknowledging the discussion. On the other hand, it is so often promulgated both in the lay media and in scientific circles that perhaps it is important to elucidate the ways in which the classification of obesity as an ED makes no sense.

To begin with, Eating Disorder Reviews defines EDs as:

Extreme expressions of a range of weight and food issues…serious emotional problems that can have life threatening consequences.

Obesity, on the other hand, is defined as a Body Mass Index (BMI) equal to or greater than 30. It is a measure of height and weight (kg/m2). Just as there are different eating disorders, there are other measures of height and weight; The Ponderal Index, The Body Mass Prime and The Body Volume Index to name a few. An ED is a serious emotional problem/illness and obesity is a measure of height and weight. So, on the most basic level comparing obesity and eating disorders is somewhat like comparing apples and oranges.

Actually, the comparison is really a good deal more obtuse than that because apples and oranges are at least both fruits. The comparison between obesity and eating disorders is really more akin to comparing an apple with a chair. You can’t sit in an apple and you can’t eat a chair!

Actually, on a somewhat lighter note, I have seen a chair shaped like an apple, but you still can’t eat it.

It is important to remember (as I discussed in a previous blog post) that this BMI measure (1) was never meant to be a measure of health and (2) is a population statistic not meant to be used on individuals. So, making connections between this measure of obesity and the serious emotional health issue of EDs is scientifically unjustified and inappropriate.

On the next most basic level, it is certainly true that body weight and eating disorders both have something to do with food. Yet, the evidence that people labeled as obese eat more than other people is inconclusive at best, with some recent research even suggesting that just the opposite may be the case. So, the very common suggestion that you can know whether someone is eating the “proper amount” of food (or the “right kind” of food for that matter) by looking at them is not supported by the evidence and therefore, doing so can best be defined as prejudice (pre-judging).

Of course, the lack of supportive evidence for this conclusion does not stop people from continually making it. In fact, the word obesity itself comes from the Latin obesus, whose primary definition, “one who has become plump through eating,” confirms the misconception. Instructively but perhaps not surprisingly, the secondary definition for obesity usually includes the words coarse and vulgar.

From a phenotypical perspective, the concept of obesity as an ED also makes no sense. Most patients with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa have always been thin and “normal weight” people. However, everyone knows that the vast majority of people in these weight categories do not have an ED. With the acknowledgement of Binge Eating Disorder (BED), many therapists are now seeing fat people who have an eating disorder. As is true with people of any size, of course, the vast majority of fat people also do not have BED. Research suggests that somewhere between 4% and 8% of people labeled as obese may suffer from BED which means that the overwhelming majority, 92% to 96%, do not!

In conclusion, here is what we can now say about the relationship between obesity and ED. They are about as related as the chair and the apple. Suggesting that someone has an ED simply by virtue of their BMI is prejudicial, unscientific and unethical. As fat activist and author of Fat!So? Marilyn Wann puts so eloquently:

The only thing anyone can diagnose by looking at a fat person is their own level of prejudice toward fat people.

Tagged: binge eating disorder, BMI, body mass prime, body volume index, eating disorders, fat, obesity, ponderal, ponderal index, weight

Tank Top Tuesday!!!

Not Blue at All — 2012-05-22T05:00:13-07:00

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com,please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it! And thank you to all who have submitted and continue to do so. These posts make my week! They are so fun and empowering, too! So keep ‘em comin’ and keep baring those arms! <3

**********************

************************************

**********************

For my 47th birthday I got a tattoo on my upper arm, for lots of reasons. One of them was to remind me to keep wearing sleeveless shirts even though I’m not as young or as thin (or as feminine, or as…fill in the blank) as our society wants me to be. Fuck them.

Hugs,

Linda

*****************

Thank you so much, Linda, for the great picture and words to live by! Please check out her awesome band Nothin’ But Fun here: www.reverbnation.com/NothinButFun and if you get the chance, hit up pone of their shows. They sound fantastic!

Oprah – It’s Time to Turn Around

danceswithfat — 2012-05-22T01:16:15-07:00

I don’t have strong feelings for Oprah one way or the other as a TV personality. But I was sent an article from her website today called “Weight Loss Advice You Haven’t Heard Before” (Spoiler Alert – you’ve totally heard it before) and that created some strong feelings.

I would give almost anything to have an hour to sit down and really talk to Oprah. I would ask how she can constantly encourage her fans to keep trying to lose weight when she has made a series of diet gurus and their ensuing books rich and famous (Bob Greene, Geneen Roth, Dr. Oz, Rosie Daley, Kathy Freston, Dr. Katz, Dr. Phil, Optifast, Carbohydrate Addicts Diet, and more) without ever achieving permanent thinness. She has hired personal trainers, personal chefs, and has near infinite resources and yet has not been able to obtain permanent thinness.

If Oprah wants to keep dieting that’s absolutely her right, but I would ask her if she knows that the evidence shows that most people (about 95% of those who diet) have the exact same result as she had and that there are physiological changes that the body makes for the specific purpose of regaining weight. I would ask if she would stop saying that she knows the weight regain is all her fault and that despite her experiences to the absolute contrary, anybody can lose weight permanently if they try hard enough. I would ask if sh would stop saying she’ll “never diet again” when what she means is “I’m totally dieting again.” I would ask if she would stop posting “easy ways to lose weight” on her website when she more than anyone should know that it’s not “easy”, and as far as her experience shows it’s not even possible.

So now she’s giving us tips we’ve “never heard before” like

Don’t eat in front of the computer (Is there anyone who hasn’t heard this?)
Don’t trust yourself – in fact you should tell your wife that if you eat a dried mango she should donate $1,000 to the Nazi party (ok, I’ll admit I haven’t heard the second part before, but I’m going to say it’s because it’s freaking stupid.)
Check the serving sizes on labels – a 1/4 second spray of Pam might be fat free, but a 1 second spray probably isn’t blah blah blah (This is oft-repeated and obvious to anyone who ate their fat-free No Shit Sherlock Flakes this morning)
BEWARE THE EVIL TRIGGER FOODS (Dude, you’re seriously pedaling this as new? Fun fact: this one is credited to the President and CEO of Weight Watchers, a company that has been successfully sued for deceptive trade practices so often that they are required to give a disclaimer any time they suggest that their product might work.)

Oh joy, that article links to Dr. Oz’s Diet Tips. Dr. Oz is a cardiologist who has admitted to having almost no knowledge of the research in the fields of weight and health, so I don’t know where he gets off giving diet tips, except that Oprah keeps giving him a forum. (In fact, the “Health” page of her website includes articles about Dr. Oz’s cleanse, diet, and 20 minute workout. What the… The man is a cardiologist - when I want tips on performing heart surgery he’ll be the first to know.) His tips are the same tired thing that we’ve been hearing – but don’t take my word for it when you can buy yet another diet book that has absolutely no research to back up that it works – or even that it won’t do the dieters harm.

What in fat hell Oprah? Millions of people go out and buy what you tell them to buy, eat what you tell them to eat, listen to the “diet gurus” and “diet tips” that you publish. What if you decided that it was your responsibility to investigate the long-term efficacy of these things that you are recommending and be honest about what you find out?

Please consider giving up being a failed role model for thinness, and choosing instead to be a successful role model for access to health for every body. Based on the evidence that exists on weight and health the only evidence-based, responsible course is to focus on healthy behaviors for our healthiest body and let our weight take care of itself. How about you say that you’re “never dieting again” and this time you mean it. There’s a whole community of experts to support you.

Finally! My Book is Available for Pre-Order – get an autographed copy and free shipping!

My book Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Navigating a Thin-Obsessed World with Your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact, with foreword by Marilyn Wann is now available for pre-order. You won’t find any new diet tips, you won’t find any diet tips at all. Just a book about living life in the body that you have now, and making decisions about what you want in the future, and how to get there. Whether you want to change your body, fight for size acceptance, just live your life, or understand and support your fat friends and family, this book provides the insights, aha moments, humor, and hard facts to help.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

TMI Tuesday

(author unknown) — 2012-05-21T22:43:11-07:00

Oh my gods my belly is getting big. I can barely see my feet anymore, my toenails need paint, shaving my legs is down to a once a week chore, and basically forget about my bikini area. That's the real down-side of being pregnant in the summer; trying to get my sandals on nice looking feet, and keeping everything de-fuzzed for times at the beach or pool. Ugh. I've got 12 more weeks of this and it's only going to get harder. The solution to semi-permanent hairy legs seems to be long, loose skirts, but there's nothing doing about my damn sandals (I HATE flip-flops and wont wear them; they always feel like they're about to fly off my feet) or inability to see my bikini line. Any tips or tricks, dear readers, to get me through this?

Thinking of long, loose skirts, I'll have some new pics up on Wednesday of a fun summer dress and long shirt I bought. If I were braver the long shirt would be worn with tights, but for now, well, you'll see!

5 percent, lapband investigations and fail.

fatchicksrule — 2012-05-21T17:23:08-07:00

As I've mentioned many times before, dieting and other weight loss methods don't work for most people in the long run. Some of them are downright dangerous for health and self-esteem.

Case in point: investigations on Allergan's lapband surgery are moving forward. This time it's federal rather than just in California.

In January, House Democratic lawmakers called for hearings on medical devices including Lap-Band, following a study in the medical journal Archives of Surgery, that found almost half of patients with a gastric band had no weight loss or needed the device removed after six years. More than 40 percent had long- term complications.

While Lapband is being investigated, a few people at the FDA finally got their bribes-- I mean incentatives-- because the panel approved the diet drug Lorcaserin despite previously rejecting it.

The drug works to control the appetite through receptors in the brain, and a study showed it helped nearly half of participants lose up to five percent of their body weight

So the FDA wants to put people at risk for heart valve and psychological problems so that 38% rather than 16% could lose 5% of their body weight over a year (most people could lose that during a bad stomach flu.)

Concerns about heart valve problems helped spur the advisory panel to vote 9-5 against recommending approval of lorcaserin in September 2010. Committee members' other safety concerns included psychiatric problems such as psychosis and breast and brain tumors seen in rats given the drug. Meanwhile, patients who took lorcaserin lost only a bit more weight than those given a placebo.

So let's repeat the mantra, no diet drug has ever worked in the long run and some of them are dangerous.

Meanwhile in Australia Doctors are shocked when fat teenage girls pressured to diet, exercise and lose weight don't retain healthy habits or weight loss after a year. One reason it failed was because the girls didn't care.

Participation in some of those activities was less than ideal. For example, the girls went to only one-quarter of optional lunchtime exercise sessions, and less than one in ten completed at-home physical activity or nutrition challenges, the researchers reported in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

The researchers thought they would try again with something more fun probably not realizing that 13 year old girls are vulnerable to weight loss peer pressure, and it is the age of being self-conscious. They will have it bad enough from their peers, they don't need it from adults, too. Here's an easy solution. Make sure there is enough funding for fun gym classes, after school sports, and healthy lunches, then let kid's weights fall into whatever range is normal for them.

ExtraOrdinary ebook -- "hot new release" in Death & Grief

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-21T21:26:59-07:00

Amazon.com is listing the Kindle edition of the newest book from Pearlsong Press, ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story Without End, as one of its Hot New Releases in the Death & Grief category. Rankings appear to move hourly relative...

Anyway you look at it, we're wrong

Brian — 2012-05-21T11:15:42-07:00

The other day, I accidentally exposed myself to bit of gossipy fat shaming over a celebrity's pregnancy related weight gain. I usually try to avoid this sort of thing, but that's the problem with a pervasive culture of fat stigmatization. You can try to mitigate it, but its far too present to ever be able to just ignore.

I quickly realized, though, that there were actually three "scandals" I was aware of at the moment relating to new mothers getting shamed for for their bodies. That seems like more than is even usual, but that may be because the intense "gotchya" instinct to root out any celebrities not doing their "job" and being thin and pretty at all times. Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai, singer and wannabe diet spokesperson Jessica Simpson, and actress Bryce Dallas Howard have all received scrutiny for varying degrees of transgressive non-thinness. Actually, in the process of writing this post, I've also learned that former teen star Hilary Duff was also getting scorn for not being an appropriate size less than a month after the birth of her child.

Perhaps against my better judgment, I waded into the comments of an article breathlessly sharing photos of Bryce Dallas Howard. What struck me as really discouraging was how every possible angle on this endorses and affirms fat shaming. Critics and supporters of Howard, alike, consistently framed their position in a manner unflinchingly approving of fat hate. You'd think this would just be limited to the people making crass insults about her current size or those who try to seem more reasonable by setting aside snide insults in favor for solemn scolding about how motherhood is no excuse for weight gain. You expect fat hate from those camps

What's really disheartening is how the acceptable defense of Howard and other celebrities like her is framed. Her defenders may call for compassion and understanding, but only from a perspective which concedes that fat is an improper state of being. They call for compassion not because fat people deserve respect. They do so out of pity. The "understanding" they speak of is built around the idea that fat is an awful thing to have happened to them and we should all be sympathetic with their plight. Its less a retort to fat shaming, and more a call for limited restraint while we allow people perceived to be temporary fat, transactionally fat, to get their affairs in order. They have no dispute with fat people being awful. They just think some fat people can have a chance to correct themselves if the circumstances of their fatness merit pity.

In a lot of ways, I find this attitude to be far more harmful and damaging than more overt fat shaming because of the sense of smug, self-satisfaction that comes with it. Well, not just the smugness. Most fat shamers have an over-abundances of smugness and self-righteousness, but its the nature of this smugness that really gets to me. See, they are smug because they think they are different from direct fat shamers. They flatter themselves and their sense of compassion with their patronizing pity. They feel entitled to their smugness in a way that's much more harmfully self-aggrandizing than those who jump right to snark and scolding. They try to capture all the privilege that comes with being a fat shamer, but then also lay claim to being enlightened about it.

In the end, "reasonable" fat hate is what empowers it's more overt and vicious forms. It is a symbiotic relationship where the two positions try to define the discussion of fatness as a binary where both sides agree that fat people are irredeemably wrong. This is never more obvious than when I see how non-fat positive spaces "debate" fatness. Fat liberation views have no place at the table. Its just a bunch of people arguing over how best to hate us. While "reasonable" fat hate puts a lot of stock into feeling morally superior to overt fat hate, it still fundamentally affirms it as an acceptable position. The idea that a person can gain weight without this being a personal failing at all? Not so much. No, you can debate when there should be consequences for the "moral failing". You can debate how much pity to offer those beset by the moral failing. You can even make conditional excuses for the moral failing. But you cannot question its wrongness.

I know these celebrities aren't going to be the faces of fat liberation. All will almost certainly lose the weight that is expected of them by whatever means necessary and employing enormous resources that bare no resemblance to how most people live their lives. Still, in a very real way, these are who fat liberation is fighting for. We're fighting for a world where people aren't just arguing over how to best hate and discourage fat people. We're fighting for a world where someone's weight is not a condition of social acceptance. We're fighting for a world where people aren't pilloried if their body happens to change and find itself at a larger size. We're not okay with people discussing fatness so as anyway you look at it, we're wrong. We're not participating in that mindset and culture at all. We're demanding something else. Not just for the fat people who've gotten to the place where we can stand nothing else, but for us all. We deserve better. Every last one of us.

Chick-chick-cauli-curry recipe, smart phone tip, spice fun and more…

katja — 2012-05-21T08:59:46-07:00

When I’m thumbing through a magazine, I often see recipes I want to try, but don’t want to rip the page out (bad form at the doctor’s office). Also, I have stacks of those ripped out pages from random magazine (yes, that I purchased), and they get lost, crinkled, recycled. One of the easiest ways to get that recipe is to grab your phone and snap a pic. (Note, the photo is not for the recipe following…)

Also, in the past I have bemoaned the fact that I basically only cook cauliflower one way, with a bechamel sauce. (This post is about wacky romanesque broccoli, which tasted more like cauliflower.) While we love it, I have been searching for inspired Cauliflower recipes. I occasionally slice it thin and toss raw with a vinaigrette, but haven’t done that in ages… Also, I’ve tried roasted, which was OK, and I have yet to try pureed, like mashed potatoes. Mental block with that one…

So, I snapped a pic of a curry chicken recipe about 6 weeks ago, and finally tried it last week, of course, was not organized enough to take a photo of the finished dish, which was a gorgeous rich yellow, with the green peas. Pretty, but you’ll have to take my word for it. I love my Penzey’s sweet curry powder, so I’m also on the lookout for curry recipes. As an aside, if there is a Penzey’s near you, take your kids! (I’d say age three and up if it’s for an outing, there are a lot of little glass jars everywhere, and the idea of taking a two-year old there would scare me…) I had a blast with M there, smelling different spices, and there was even a coloring area for kids and the one we went to!M also loves Alu Gobi, which is cauliflower and potatoes, at the Indian restaurant we love. So, I tried this dish, but had to modify it enough that I feel okay not sourcing the original (which I can’t find now anyway

It’s already been transcribed and found it’s way into the “Keeper Recipes Binder.” Also, we have fun naming recipes, and this one was named by M, since it has chicken, chick-peas, cauliflower and curry…

Chic-Chic-Cauli-Curry

(Mellow and flavorful, NOT spicy)

Ingredients:

1 can 14 oz light coconut milk (I like light for this recipe)
1 cup low sodium chicken broth
2 Tablespoons sugar
1-2 Tablespoons curry powder (I LOVE Penzey’s sweet. I used 1 Tablespoon, but will probably do 1 1/2 next time)
1 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast or thigh, cut in 1 inch pieces and seasoned with salt (I used thigh)
1/2 medium yellow or white onion
1 medium cauliflower, about 2 pounds, cut or separated into small pieces
1 cup frozen peas
1 teaspoon corn starch
1 can (15 oz) drained and rinsed chick peas
salt to taste

In a bowl, whisk coconut milk, 3/4 cup of the broth, sugar and curry powder
Heat oil, to medium-high, brown chicken, remove to a plate, then reduce heat to medium and cook the onion for about 8 minutes, until glassy and limp, add a little water if chicken bits are turning too brown
add cauliflower and cook 3-4 minutes, then stir in mixed sauce and simmer covered 6-10 minutes (shorter time means more firm cauliflower…)
uncover and add back chicken and juice. Simmer uncovered another 5 minutes or so
whisk remaining broth with cornstarch and stir into sauce
add the chickpeas and peas, turn heat up to med-high again and heat through, add salt to taste

Serve immediately over rice (basmati is nice…)

Both M and DH LOVED this one, and there aren’t too many pots to clean up! (I might add a little crushed garlic towards the end of the onions next time too…) The leftovers were just as good.

Let me know if you make it. Also, are there foods you “get stuck” making only one way? Were there, and you branched out? Share your favorite cauliflower dish! How do you organize your recipes? Do you have a favorite iPhone app that puts my method to shame?

Guest Post: Aimee of Va Va Boombah

sleepydumpling — 2012-05-21T03:10:10-07:00

It is my honour to host this guest post from Aimee Nichols tonight. I met Aimee at a conference when she complimented me on my tights, and I complimented her on her dress. I mentioned that I was a fledgling fat activist… and we had one of those OMGSQUEE! moments that one has when one finds someone else who thinks outside the mainstream cultural paradigm.

Aimee told me about Va Va Boombah a while back and I’ve watched it growing with some envy – I wish I was in Melbourne so I could go along to the debut show that Aimee tells us about below. I hope that Va Va Boombah are so successful that they are able to tour the production sometime in the future, so I can go along.

Without any further ado, here is Aimee telling us about Va Va Boombah!

I’m thrilled to be writing a guest post for one of my favourite blogs, which is authored by one of my favourite people – thanks for having me, Kath!

My name is Aimee, and I’m proud to be one of the co-producers of Melbourne’s first fat burlesque night – one of the first such events in Australia. I’ve long been inspired by fat burlesque troupes in the United States, so having the opportunity to make such an event happen in my hometown has been a dream come true.

Va Va Boombah, like so many things these days, was conceived via Twitter, and has been gestated by a love of performance and fat positivity. I’ve been amazed and humbled by the amazing performers we’ve been able to bring together, and by the support from the fat acceptance and burlesque communities alike.

My own background is that of a lifelong struggle with body positivity and size acceptance. From an early age, I was taught that physical endeavors were not for me; my body was a separate being from my brain, and not really part of my ‘self’. I was discouraged from taking part in things like dance and gymnastics by well-meaning adults who thought my size would make me stand out and be a target for ridicule by smaller people. In reality, this had the effect of instilling a sense of self-consciousness that was not there previously; I learned that I was not supposed to be visible, and that I shouldn’t draw attention to myself by engaging with my love of performing.
Burlesque was a specific turning point for me. I’d long had an interest in it, and in pin-up culture, and as I slowly started to see more diverse bodies being represented, I slowly started to feel a little more acceptance of myself. Taking burlesque classes has been one of the major things I have done for myself in terms of developing my self-esteem and acceptance of my body. It’s also a hell of a lot of fun.

So, what are we hoping to achieve with Va Va Boombah? One of our primary goals is to create a space for awesomeness to happen. We don’t put restrictions or specific guidelines on what our performers can do, which has lead to developing a very diverse show. I’m hoping that in future shows, we’ll see an even greater range of acts from an even greater range of performers. We’re not just about proving that fat people can be sexy, although that’s certainly a worthwhile goal. We want to show that fat performers have a lot to contribute, and that we are active subjects in how we perform, not passive objects in a society where we are either reviled or fetishized, depending on who is doing the looking. Our performers look back, inviting the audience to take part in the act they are creating with a smile and a wink.

Performer: Cupcake Kitten.
Photograph by LogicBunny Photography.

Visual representation of fat bodies helps to normalise us; in a world that others us, being a deliberately visible presence, demanding space and refusing to accept invisibility, is a political act. Artistic endeavors like the amazing Adipositivity Project help normalise us, and they also help normalise the idea that fat bodies are sensual and sexual bodies, in the same way that thinner bodies are accepted to be so.

Audiences at our debut show can expect a range of performances, from the sublime to the decidedly ridiculous, that are smart, funny, beautiful, challenging, political and, above all, entertaining. I hope to see you there, if you can make it.

Va Va Boombah’s debut show is on Friday 1st June at Revolt Melbourne Artspace, 12 Elizabeth St, Kensington. Tickets are available through http://www.revoltproductions.com, or at the door. $25 full, $20 concession, $17 group (5 or more). Doors from 7pm, show at 8pm.

http://www.vavaboombah.com
http://www.facebook.com/VaVaBoombah
http://fatburlesque.tumblr.com
Twitter: @fatburlesque

Aimee Nichols is a writer and burlesque performer, and one of the co-producers of Va Va Boombah. She can be found on Twitter at @wordsandsequins.

Filed under: Aimee Nichols, burlesque, Melbourne, performance, Va Va Boombah

No Pity, No Preaching: No Problems

danceswithfat — 2012-05-21T00:56:31-07:00

I was at a friend’s house this weekend and we were watching some reality show with chefs. There was a chef whose passion was “healthy cooking.” She started out by talking about how many people in her family “struggle with their weight”, she teared up as she talked about how sad it was for her to watch.

Then, when she went in front of the judges with a soup that was a horrific looking combination of black eyed peas and cabbage – pureed - she suddenly got angry and went on a rant about how she was “fed up” how there is “no excuse for it.” Happily the judges were not into the attitude which for me neatly summed up two reactions that people have to fat people that I find utterly inappropriate and unwelcome.

First – Pity. Don’t need it, don’t want it. There is nothing pitiable about my body. As I’ve mentioned before I do not “suffer” from obesity, I do suffer from people’s attitudes about my body . That’s a suffering that will end as soon as people acknowledge that bodies come in different sizes for different reasons, that there is no wrong way to have a body, and that it’s nobody else’s business at all. When someone says that they pity me because of my body it indicates that they think there is something superior about their bodies. My body is amazing and I won’t allow it to be treated that way without sticking up for it. People can keep their pity, and their opinions and assumptions of my body to themselves.

Preaching is the second issue. It seems like every time I turn around someone’s trying to score points by giving “tough talk” to us fatties. Telling us that they are just fed up with us and our big, fleshy bodies. Saying that the world needs to stop “coddling” us, asserting that the world would be better if we didn’t exist, waging war on us for power, politics and profit. Suggesting that the problem with fat people is that we’re just not bullied and oppressed enough. Somehow certain that the reason we’re not thin is that 386,170 negative messages a year about our body are just not enough. That somebody needs to tell us we’re fat. If shaming fat people made us thin, we’d all be thin. I’m willing to bet that all these “tough talkers” would be singing a different tune if perfect strangers insisted on telling them incessantly that they need to live their lives differently.

I reflect sometimes on how the achievements of fat people are so much more impressive because we accomplish things under the crushing weight of near constant stigma and bullying. Despite the pitying, the preaching, and the constant drumbeat of “your body is wrong”, we keep rising above, fighting back. Just getting out of bed when you know the work water cooler conversation is going to be about fat shaming documentaries, or going to the gym when you know you might deal with idiots, are gold medal sports some days and we just keep doing it.

So go fatties go! Everyone else can keep their pitying and preaching to themselves, we’re fine.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

Character Control -- A Pearlsong Conversation

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-20T18:06:33-07:00

In the May 20, 2012 Pearlsong Conversations teleconference call, Pearlsong publisher Peggy Elam, Ph.D. & several Pearlsong authors talked about creating—and reining in— fictional characters. Authors participating in this Conversation included Lynne Murray, author of The Falstaff Vampire Files, Bride...

The “War On Obesity” and The Weight Of The Nation

Golda Poretsky, H.H.C. — 2012-05-20T03:57:05-07:00

Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.

Back in the early days of dating my boyfriend, every once in a while he would turn on Fox News just for a laugh and to see what they’re saying. This usually ended up with me yelling at the TV then yelling at him to change the channel, then, and I’m not proud of this, throwing (hopefully) non-destructive pillows at the TV.

So, as you can imagine, I’m not watching the new HBO “documentary” called Weight Of The Nation for the sake of my own sanity and the well-being of my TV.

Image courtesy of HBO.com

You may be thinking, “Wait a second, Golda. Maybe this documentary will be an unbiased look at the so-called ‘obesity epidemic.’ Why not watch it?” And I want to thank you, reasonable reader, for thinking such a reasonable thing. But a few things have clued me in that this is a one-sided documentary, including the tagline, “To Win, We Have To Lose.” That alone let’s you know that this will be a documentary about obesity being on the rise, fat being bad, and weight loss being the answer. The fact that none of that is actually true doesn’t seem to matter.

Here’s the thing — I actually love debating. But I’ve found that debating the existence of a problem is often no fun at all. For example, it could be fun, in a way, to debate what we should do about global warming. But debating with someone over the existence of global warming tends to be a tedious and fruitless debate. Similarly, debating with someone over the existence of the obesity epidemic, which doesn’t actually exist and is a completely unhelpful framework for discussing improving people’s health, is no fun when that debate is with someone who’s invested in the idea of the obesity epidemic and the need to eradicate obesity. Plus, debating with the TV is never any fun.

I started yelling at the TV at a young age with the McLaughlin Group (image courtesy of snl.jt.org)

I know that I should be watching this “documentary”, if only so that I can snarkily tweet about it. But I won’t be. Watching stuff like this makes me feel really stressed out. It makes me feel personally attacked, which the so-called “War On Obesity” really is. The War on Obesity is really just a war on fat people. If weight loss efforts don’t work for 95% of people, and making a fat person thinner doesn’t bestow any health benefits beyond a few months, what are we really talking about here? We’re talking about a concept that basically says, “We don’t like you or the way you look, so we declare war on you. We consider you a scourge and seek to eradicate you.” Couch it however you want, but this is the War On Obesity, and it is truly vile.

So how do we fight back? This fight is already happening, of course, in so many different ways. Every time we fight for anti-discriminatory legislation, or put up fat positive billboards, or write letters, or just live our lives in full view of others as fat positive, we are fighting back.

I really admire the fat folks who can watch something like Weight Of The Nation and take action. I admire the fat folks who can do this on a regular basis, diving into the comments sections of fat positive posts to fight fat hating comments. (By the way, if you want to do this, there’s an amazing facebook group called Rolls Not Trolls which does this in a somewhat organized way.)

But if you’re like me and can’t hack it, I want to say that that’s okay too. Activism takes many forms, and all of them are valid and needed.

Finally, you might dig this response video from The Association For Size Diversity & Health (ASDAH):

The “War On Obesity” and The Weight Of The Nation originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on May 20, 2012.

More praise for ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story without End

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-12T17:48:12-07:00

"A beautifully written story about the incomparable Herman Liss, told by the daughter who adored him for 30 years and the young boy who knew him for only one. Through their words they shine a brilliant light on a remarkable...

OoTD No. 28 – Winter dressing, summer style

Frances — 2012-05-20T04:02:32-07:00

Though I love summer in Sydney, I am growing more appreciative of the cooler months. The air is fresh, my kitchen smells of roasts and stews and apple crumble, and I can wear something more substantial than thin cotton tops and double pluggers.

And it is starting to get quite wintery in Sydney, but that’s no reason to stop blinding people with summer-style colour.

My dear apple bag has been quite neglected of late, but after seeing Jackie’s amazing collection of bags that look like other things on Show Tell Share, I was inspired to dust it off.

I’m lightly obsessed with these ridiculous shirts. They were made by Mambo in the ’90s (before they decided to reinvent themselves as just another beige surf brand) in a bunch of iconic designs. The ones by Reg Mombassa – like this one – are just so wonderfully Australian. I’ve tracked down quite a few on ebay, and despite the shirts being something a middle aged man would wear to a barbecue, I love them dearly. They’re a summer staple, but when my wardrobe was particularly empty and my laundry pile was particularly big, I decided to winterise them with a natty bow tie and v-neck jumper.

Jumper: Second hand from Twirl Vintage Co – size M
Shirt: Mambo Loud Shirt via ebay – size M.
Jeans: Jay Jays – size 16. Old collection.
Shoes: Asos Marky Traditional Brogues – UK size 8. Similar styles available.
Bow tie: Asos. Old collection.
Bag: Mink Schmink. Old collection.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, 95kg/209lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-99-120cm/42-39-47 inches.

KISS MY ANGRY FAT ASS

tanteterri — 2012-05-19T20:20:24-07:00

I am so incredibly angry.

And you won’t like me angry.

While working on the NAAFA roundup, I made the mistake of reading comments on an article about Weight of the Nation.

Let me say this. I have no intention of watching Weight of the Nation on HBO or reading the book. I have heard enough about it to know that it is just more of the same old myths and misinformation about fat people that stoke the fat hatred that is reflected in the comments I read. I am not going to subject myself to it.

I just want to say -

HOW DARE ANYONE TELL ME I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY RIGHT TO LIVE MY LIFE AS A FAT PERSON?

Fuck you.

My health is not your concern. It is none of your business. So don’t tell me, you are just concerned about my health. Trust me, you can put that in the great big box in your head marked “Not my problem”.

We are all going to die. When and how I die is of concern to a very few people. My being fat is not going to make your life longer or shorter, better or worse.

If it makes you feel superior to me because of a number on a scale – get on with your bad self. But I don’t want to listen to it.

I am tired of trying to have a polite conversation with you people who hate fat people but cannot admit it. I’m tired of people politely correcting you with facts and having you come back with another stream of fat phobia. You do not want to hear facts. You are too invested in what “everyone knows”. Go ahead and lie to yourself, but don’t think that you are deceiving me. I know who and what you are.

And I’m so tired of people being afraid of fat people.

You want to be afraid of fat people, keep it up. I repeat, you won’t like me angry.

Birth Story Video: Jennifer's Waterbirth

Well-Rounded Mama — 2012-05-19T14:36:50-07:00

Here is the birth story and wedding/birth video of a plus-sized mama I thought readers might enjoy. It's not a short video (about 6 minutes) but it's well worth watching!

Below is the mother's story (which includes 4 previous miscarriages) and what she wants other women of size to know about pregnancy and birth.

My name is Jennifer. I live in southern Oregon and am a midwife apprentice. I have attended many births and have caught 4 babies under supervision. Of the many births I have attended, a good handful have been to plus-size mommas.

Two off the top of my head were between 300-400 lbs. Both mommas had very healthy uneventful pregnancies and wonderful easy labors, and both mommas delivered in water at home. Water is great for plus-size mommas because it allows you to move more easily into different positions.

I myself am a plus size momma. I am 5'6" and started my pregnancy at 232 lbs., about size 18. I finished my pregnancy at 276. I know doctors like to tell you to only gain 15 lbs. if you're "obese" but that's one of many reasons I didn't choose a doctor! I am a firm believer that as long as you gain your weight on healthy food then you gain what you need, and restricting food can cause issues in pregnancy. Nutrition is key in pregnancy, especially protein!

I had a wonderful very healthy pregnancy with a midwife, and gave birth to a beautiful baby at home on Christmas eve. A baby girl, 9 lbs. 12 ounces, 20.5 inches.

Being plus size and pregnant is a challenge but I think it's because we set up obstacles in our minds. Will I look pregnant, how much weight will I gain, will I be able to handle the physical demands of labor, will I be bullied into tests and procedures because I'm overweight?

Remember that you are a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman who can birth a healthy baby, regardless of your weight. If you aren't comfortable being your own advocate, then hire a doula! Get educated, know your options, and don't forget to celebrate this beautiful rite of passage!

PERSONAL CONTEST: I’m As Free As My Hair!

Stiletto Siren — 2012-05-19T11:15:11-07:00

Hey Curvy Chicks!

Just like Lady Gaga said “I’m As Free As My Hair” and as of the last year that has been pretty damn free and awesome! I finally have reached a place in my life where answering to no one but Stiletto has allowed me to express my self in one of my favorite ways with bitchin hair styles that showcase my personality and the freedom and fun I choose for my life! Yesterday I went in to see my one and only stylist and good friend Jami Jackson, owner of Jacko’s Chop & Kustom Hair Shop in Boise and after 5 hours of shaving rad designs (bubble wand and a rainbow of bubbles is just in time for summer), feeling the burn with some bleach, a whole lot of hair dye and of course some hilarious commentary I ended up with a new hairdo that made me feel like a real life My Little Pony…Actually scratch that I think with this hurr I am a fuckin’ UNICORN!

Sometimes I feel like my hair is so fun it is like its own special entity and that has given me the desire to name it and I need you help! If you would like to participate in naming my hair please leave your recommendation in the comments of this post and the person who comes up with the best name will receive a special gift bag put together by me full of some of my favorite things!

I’m As Free As My Hair Contest: Name Stiletto’s Hair & Win Her Favorite Things!

How To Enter:

Leave A Comment With An AWESOME Name Suggestion

That’s it-Piece of cake, piece of pie!

Feel free to enter as many times as you would like but only one name entry per comment, lots of comments equals lots of entries! I will select a winner on June 1st and they will win a special gift bag, put together by me of some of my favorite things

What are you waiting for help me name this bitch!

xoxo

Stiletto

Elder wisdom -- ExtraOrdinary: An End of Life Story without End

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2012-05-12T17:43:31-07:00

"In a world where our Western elders have forfeited their own wisdom, here is a book that calls them back, that tells them the road is possible. Even greater, it denies nothing of their struggle, but uses that as the...

Strong! Fat! Happy!

danceswithfat — 2012-05-19T03:39:50-07:00

Chery Haworth, Julie Wyman, and me in the middle – it was my job to pass the microphone between them and not turn into a geeky fan girl.

Last night I had the joy of hosting a screening of Julie Wyman’s amazing film Strong! about three-time Olympian Cheryl Haworth.

I met Julie through the HAES community and the way she conceptualized and handled this move was so deft that I knew as soon as I saw it that I wanted to bring it to Austin.

Julie and Cheryl both came to the screening and I was really impressed with how honest and open they both were. Cheryl talked openly about her struggles with body acceptance and about how the fact that her body made her successful at her sport didn’t make it easier to live in our culture as a big woman.

That really struck me – one of the things that I thought would be a big positive about the sport of weightlifting is that they get weight divisions and can acknowledge the advantages of having a bigger body. (In my sport (dance) we definitely don’t have that) But the truth is that nobody is immune to the massive fat-phobia that we are dealing with right now.

The reason I really wanted to bring the film to Austin is that it is so important for fat people to have role models who look like us and Julie gives us that opportunity. Seeing Cheryl and knowing that a large woman is representing our country in the Olympics is such a huge motivation for me as an athlete and I wanted other people to have that experience.

This film flies in the face of the ridiculous notion that showing a successful athletic fat person “promotes obesity.” As if people will see us and say “I want to be an athlete – I’ll start by getting fat”. The whole idea of promoting obesity is utterly stupid (does showing Mary Lou Retton promote shortness?) and serves only to keep positive fat role models out of the media which means that lots of fat people don’t think that fitness is possible for them, or believe that the only “correct” outcome of fitness is weight loss because every fit person they see is thin.

Of course you know that I don’t think anyone is obligated to exercise, but I find it heartbreaking that so many people of size are turned away from doing movement that they would love to do because they believe they have the “wrong body” (this is bullshit by the way, if you want to dance then you have a dancer’s body – if you want to swim then you have a swimmer’s build), or they don’t think it’s possible since they’ve never seen a fat person doing it – though there are probably fat people rocking whatever activity it is, but they aren’t shown because of the stupid irrational fear of “promoting obesity”.

There were a lot of moments of the film where I felt a kinship with Cheryl and one of them was when she is in a store and can’t find her size of clothes and she jokes that she finds solace in the fact that she could probably beat up everybody in the place. I know that one of the reasons I walk around the world happy and confident is that I’m fit. I know that however people may be stereotyping me, they probably can’t do half of what I can do physically. I love walking around in a body that is strong and fit. When it comes to knowing that I can beat people us (though I never would) there is solace in the fact that I can do a switch-leap which basically makes me a 300 pound flying fatality.

One of the most annoying questions I’m often asked is if I think I’m an “anomaly” among fat people – meaning that I’m active but most fat people aren’t. My answer is that I’m an anomaly in almost any room I walk into no matter what size the people are, that I think there are a lot more fat people who are into fitness than people’s stereotypes indicate, and that even if I am an anomaly it’s because fat people are never given fitness role models who look like them, they face stigma and shaming when they do exercise, and they are told the lie that exercise will make them thin when the truth – based on all the evidence – is that it will make us healthier but won’t make us thin.

If there’s some kind of movement that you love, why not try it now and if you don’t have a role model, you can become one!

If you’re interested in getting some support please feel free to join us at the Fit Fatties Forum. It’s a free forum for people of all sizes to talk about fitness from a HAES perspective. It includes photo and video galleries, discussions and groups for Newbies, Oldbies, Strong Fatties, Runners, Belly Dancers, Yogis and more.

If you want to bring a screening of Strong! to your town (the process that we used was super easy), e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org and I’ll get you hooked up with the right people.

Join the Club, Support My Work!

I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, please consider a paid subscription (it works like a fan club – you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

An Open Letter to Leona Edmiston

sleepydumpling — 2012-05-18T21:48:31-07:00

Dear Leona,

Thank you.

No sincerely, thank you. Two days ago, for the first time in my almost 40 years of life, I purchased three designer garments for myself. And they were from your Leona+ line.

Now I had heard some time ago that you were extending some of your ranges into plus sizes, and I was absolutely thrilled. I love the beautiful clothes you produce, the fabrics are always delicious, the prints gorgeous and the styles both beautiful and woman-body-friendly. My boss rocks a Leona frock like nobody else, as a tall, slender woman and I’m always envious of the gorgeous prints and colours she has access to. But I was dismayed to hear that they only went to about a size 20AU when I did some research. Yet again I was feeling like I’d been slapped in the face and told “Not for you, you’re too fat for us to make anything for you, you deserve nothing.”

But recently some lovely fellow fatty friends on Twitter told me that there was a line in Myer that went up to an XL, which was about the equivalent of a size 24AU. So, always looking for more clothing options, I went for a look, but wasn’t hopeful because I’m usually a size 26AU. And lo and behold, there they were, on a sale rack – these mythical Leona Edmiston dresses that go up to a size XL. I tried them on in an XL – and they fit my size 26AU body beautifully. Like they were made for me.

I had to have them. Being on sale, I could afford to splash out and get three. It was a tough choice, but these are the ones I chose (apologies for the make-do photos, I haven’t worn them yet!):

The purple in it matches my hair perfectly.

Looks so cute with leggings or opaque tights and boots.

My favourite of the three – love these colours.

I also had a look at the new season stock which has just arrived, which instead of being sized in the S/M/L/XL method, actually has it’s sizes on it (14 or 16 to 24). These look gorgeous as well, and I’ll be heading back when I’m ready for some more shopping to increase my Leona wardrobe.

But pretty dresses aside, I want to thank you for something very important to me as a fat woman. I want to thank you for enabling me to participate. While many people pooh-pooh fashion as frivolous and shallow, the reality is that in our culture, how we present ourselves, and how we participate amongst our peers is incredibly significant. I have written before about the power of clothing and fashion to mark us as “other” in our society, when we are not able to participate in the fashions and cultural movements of our peers. From feeling like we do not belong amongst general society, to experiencing workplace discrimination because are not able to dress ourselves as professionally or dynamically as our thin peers.

Like it or not, fat people are part of the community. We have lives that we need clothes for. We want to be able to express ourselves through fashion like everyone else. And we also like to shop and spend the money that we earn on nice things.

So when a designer like you expands their range to include us, it enables us to participate culturally where we have not been allowed to before.

Now I know that this isn’t your primo designer range – this is a range that you have released with Myer. But that’s ok – it’s an option that wasn’t there for us before. Like your affordable Ruby range, it gives another group of women an option to participate in fashion and expressing themselves through style.

I hope that you continue to offer beautiful Leona Edmiston dresses to women of all sizes, even those of us at the upper end of the range. I hope that sometime in the not-too-distant future you start showcasing this range on your website. And I hope that you sell lots of these beautiful plus-sized dresses to fab fatties everywhere, and expand the range to more fabulous and fashionable colours, prints and styles. We’re tired of hiding away in drab, shapeless, dark coloured clothes. We want to be out there expressing our fabulous selves with up-to-date, on-trend fashions.

We want to participate.

Best wishes

Kath aka Fat Heffalump

Filed under: clothing, fashion, fashion designers, Leona Edmiston, Leona+, Myer, participation, plus-sizes, style