"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

PSA: Why you should always hire a trained journalist

Harriet — 2009-11-11T16:47:37-08:00

Because if you don't, your newscasts will look like this.

Skin deep? Bone deep? Or FAT deep?

tanz33 — 2009-11-11T16:41:31-08:00

I really should stay away from parenting messageboards.

Trouble is, I get too evangelical. Someone posts something negative about their weight and there I am, the Adipose Avenger, waxing lyrical about FA. Trying to get the truth out, trying to reassure them that they’re normal, I’m normal, we’re all normal. But the level of vindictiveness out there! Boy… it gets hard to take sometimes. Not so much because of the insults – hell, I’ve had trolls here tell me they hope my babies will die inside me – but the whole *sheep mindedness* of it gets me! Does no-one *think* anymore? Did any of these people go to Uni, or Polytech? Did any of them do a class that involved even an iota of critical thinking?? I doubt it… they swallow the crap they’re told and cling to it like the last life raft off the Titanic. One woman even told me I was being irresponsible getting pregnant while fat; *she* would have lost weight first, to give her child every chance in life. Keeping aside the whole idea that diets don’t work and pregnancies aren’t always planned, there is also the idea that being fat will somehow harm my baby. Um… how? Birth defects, I was told. And besides, fat women have fat babies, don’tcherknow. Ahhh…. ok, well the first is rubbish and as for the second, well, perhaps that’s genetics in action? How would losing weight (and it would be temporary, because – all together now – diets don’t work) affect that? Besides, wasn’t there a study/theory years ago that proposed to opposite? All I can say is that my Mother began her gestational years skinny and ended up plump, while her babies (as adults) have gone the other way… the children born when she was hardly eating are obese adults, the ones born later when she was bigger and ate a fair bit are slim. Co-incidence? Perhaps. But it makes me wonder…

And there’s the thing that annoys me about all this; these people *don’t* wonder. They read the fat-fearing sound bite and absorb it to regurgitate at a later date, on and on, until they drop. They don’t think, they don’t look critically at it, they just accept it. Deeply.

I don’t propose to have all the answers. But I do balance what I read with what my common sense tells me, with what I’ve seen in my own life, and make my own conclusions. I don’t fool myself that I’m *right* but I do take pride in thinking. Isn’t that what the brain is for?

The real problem

tanz33 — 2009-11-11T16:23:27-08:00

So here I am; pregnant with twins and seeing a midwife who advised me not to put any weight on during my pregnancy (although to be fair that was before she found out there were twins; her advice after that was “take a multivitamin”. I’m still having morning sickness so a day I can eat well is a bonus… dieting isn’t even on my radar).

I’ve been thinking it over (brooding? who, me?) and I think the worst part of it isn’t what she’s advised me to do, but that I now can’t trust anything else she says. Sure, some of it is common sense – eat a good amount of protein, for example – but other parts… well, I lack the medical knowledge to know if I should be worried or not. And that’s the part of the real price of fat prejudice in medical professionals. Not only are we often given bad advice but we lose our trust in the profession altogether, and that’s not good.

Take my blood sugar levels, for example. My non-fasting glucose level was well within the normal range (and interestingly enough, lower than it had been a month before when I’d had bloods done for an unrelated issue). But she was worried about something called the HbA1c, which apparently measures one’s blood sugar level over time. It is within normal, and way below the level that diabetics are recommended to maintain, but she was still concerned and said that pregnancy should have lowered it further and because it hadn’t I was obviously going to develop gestational diabetes. Now, I don’t think I believe her. Looking on Google I see my level is within normal and I can’t find any indication that pregnancy should lower it. But that’s just the rub; I can’t find anything to either prove or disprove her theory. Normally, I would be worried… but her obvious prejudice about weight leads me to suspect her and everything she says.

And that’s the problem with medical professionals who see fat as a health problem. We can’t trust you. And it’s a strong woman who won’t worry when she’s pregnant…

For what it’s worth I’ve decided to not stress over this issue. She’s given me a form to have a fasting glucose test done when my morning sickness is over, and I will wait till then until I begin to worry.

It wouldn't kill you to lose a few pounds -- or would it?

(author unknown) — 2009-11-11T07:14:00-08:00

SOURCE: etruth.comIt wouldn't kill you to lose a few pounds -- or would it?Wednesday, November 11, 2009 BY JENNIFER LARUE HUGETSpecial to The Washington PostThese days it seems our entire way of life...

Do “Fat Girls Float”?

Sylvia — 2009-11-11T13:18:57-08:00

by sylvia

Ivan from Fat in NYC contacted us recently to ask us if we would help him promote something he was passionate about. Since Ivan’s cool in our book, we were more than happy to oblige, especially since this something was a documentary about fat women by a fat woman. Below is Ivan’s “call to action.” If you are interested in promoting this as well on your own blog, please get in touch with Ivan, and he’ll get you all the details!

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and heart with the world.The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world who discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world. Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this next step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends. Donate Now. Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00p.m. EST for a “meet the film maker” conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details at http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

Join a Pearlsong Conversation with author Rebecca Brock Thursday, November 12

Peggy Elam, Ph.D. — 2009-11-11T13:07:42-08:00

Rebecca Brock, author of the rubenesque romance novel The Giving Season, will chat with me (Pearlsong publisher Peggy Elam, Ph.D.) in a free teleconference call tomorrow -- Thursday, November 12, 2009. We'd love for you to join us. Email pearlsongconversations...

Such Sweet Sorrow

FatGrrl — 2009-11-11T13:10:36-08:00

My butt’s been dragging lately, folks, and I see the way it is affecting my time here. This pursuit is something that more and more easily gets pushed to the side to make way for other things that are taking up my time, energy, soul, etc. It’s a bummer. And as much as I love to set ginormous goals for myself that can then set me up for failure - woohoo! self-flagellation! - I think it might be better to admit to myself that all things eventually come to an end, even the great things, and that it’s okay to say goodbye.

I’ve talked it over with Ellie, and let her know what I planned. She’s currently in an apartment without internet access - the situation is giving her hives, I’m sure - but she asked me to leave the site up and running so that she can make her imminent return to blogging.

So that’s where things stand, with my Extra-Long-Hiatus-That-Could-Be-More-Like-Retirement-But-Who-Really-Knows? It’s been a privilege meeting and bantering with you all.

Love,
FatGrrl

Help a reporter out: Fat women and healthcare

Rachel — 2009-11-11T12:52:17-08:00

I got the note below from a reporter looking for help with a story. Sadly, judging from the many stories sent to First, Do No Harm (a blog I co-edit), I’m sure there’s at least a few people out there with these kinds of experiences. My name is Ginny Graves, and I’m writing an article for [...]

New study on gastric bypass found higher mortality rate

SueW — 2009-11-11T11:18:27-08:00

A study of over 850 weight loss surgery patients, 98.5 percent of whom were gastric bypass patients, found that in those of BMI 50 and higher (which is the average size for bariatric surgery patients), 2 percent died within 30 days, another 3.6 percent died within 90 days of surgery and another 5 percent died within a year of surgery.

These patients were operated on in 1 of 12 veteran's hospitals. The mean age was 54 and 70 percent of the cohort were men.

The death rate was higher in those with a BMI of 50 and comorbidities like heart disease, sleep apnea etc.

Researchers Lie et al concluded:

"The results of this study should inform discussions with patients with regard to the potential risks and benefits of bariatric surgery... These findings also suggest that the risks of bariatric surgery in patients with significant comorbidities, such as congestive heart failure, complicated diabetes and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, should be carefully weighed against potential benefits in older male patients and those with superobesity (BMI eq or greater than 50)."

Now of course, we know that all providers of gastric bypass will be sure to show their prospective patients this study and discuss not having a gastric bypass if they are over 50 and BMI 50 or higher and/or have heart disease, complex diabetes etc, right?

SOURCE: Arch Surg. 2009;144:914-920

Fat Girls Float – The Movie

Corinna — 2009-11-11T10:45:28-08:00

You may remember when I first wrote about my friend Kira’s documentary. The support the film has received from this community since that post on September 30th has been very inspiring. Kira is very close to reaching her goal and it is possible to raise even more. Here is the latest update from Kira on what needs to happen for her to reach her fundraising goal for this next phase in production.

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and passion with the world.

The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world; they discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world.

Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends.

Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00 p.m. EST for a “meet the film maker” conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details.

DONATE NOW to see Kira’s movie make Fat Acceptance history.

As one of the people interviewed in the film as well as being in the trailer I will most definitely be on the Sunday call. We are also hoping to have some of the celebrities who are supporting the film record messages that we will play for you during the call and perhaps on future calls.

Please consider a making a donation. Even one dollar brings us closer to making history.

BFD Redesign!

mo pie — 2009-11-11T10:51:09-08:00

As you may have noticed (at least if you’re not reading on a feed reader) BFD has just been given a facelift! Thanks to Jennette at Make My Blog Pretty for all her hard work, both on the front and the back end, to make the site look great.

The mudflap girl is a little heavier (yay!), the Fatosphere feed actually works, there’s some new stuff in the sidebar, and hopefully the change is not too scary for those of us who, like Garth Algar, fear change. Let me know if anything looks weird, if there’s a feature you long for in your hearts, or if there’s something we neglected to fix. Thanks for continuing to support the site! Group hug!

All Black Everything

gabrielle.gregg@gmail.com (Gabi) — 2009-11-11T09:01:00-08:00

Sorry for the hiatus! My social life lately has been less than stellar, which means my outfits haven't been very inspired. I was waiting for an occasion to break out my black faux fur vest and string net tights, but I figured I should stop waiting and start wearing. It's true fur adds bulk, but I have never been one of those fat girls that uses clothing as a way to look slimmer.

Turtleneck Sweater Dress-Forever21/Faux Fur Vest-Target/Tights-Dorothy Perkins/Boots-Chinese Laundry/Necklaces-Mom's Closet!
(Love fur? Check out Christina's latest outfit posts for more!)

Fat Girls Float – The Movie

Corinna — 2009-11-11T10:45:28-08:00

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and passion with the world.

The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world; they discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world.

Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends.

Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00 p.m. EST for a “meet the film maker” conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details.

DONATE NOW to see Kira’s movie make Fat Acceptance history.

Please consider a making a donation. Even one dollar brings us closer to making history.

Kim Weighs In with Her Latest Video about Fashioable Plus-Size Coats for the Coming Winter

(author unknown) — 2009-11-11T08:07:58-08:00

I often hear complaints of people not being able to find stylish plus-size outerwear that doesn’t look like a double-thick Snuggy. This winter, you won’t have to worry, because I’ve gone looking for the latest fashions from Plus Size retailers.

In this latest installment of my video series, Kim Weighs In, we’ll take a look at looking good in some fabulous plus-sized coats.

Like my videos? Check out previous episodes: Get Active, No Excuses and If the Shoe Fits.

Chick Flic Teaches Fat Man a lesson

nycivan — 2009-11-11T11:10:06-08:00

When I ask myself the question, what is the greatest thing about Fat Acceptance, without hesitation, I can tell you that the FA movement has transformed a lifelong belief in my unworthiness of the good things life has to offer into a strong (and getting stronger) connection to not only my worthiness, but my sweetness, my beauty, and even my humanity.

This experience has been a life changer for me. So I am now moving beyond just blogging into the next actions that make sense for me. Not quite activism… Perhaps, with as much humility as I can muster, I want to do community organizing work. I want to join with others that want to look at these issues with an intent to help move things toward the better.

With that in mind I want to tell you about the movie, Fat Girls Float. What I like most about this project is that it is touching on the core of self acceptance, the essence of worthiness. This movie in in sync with what I am experiencing with my own personal sense of Fat Acceptance.

So along the lines of community organizing, I have asked some Fat-o-Sphere bloggers I know personally to send out a message about this film and it's efforts to raise funds for the next six wednesdays. I know you will enjoy the trailer, and I hope you are moved to donate and to ask your friends to donate. I also hope you will consider joining me and the handful of bloggers in our community who are "organizing" to support this project.

Below are two messages. the first is the templated message I am asking folks to post or to paraphrase or to even plagiarize with our permission. The message after that is about the Size Acceptance Salon which is my community organizing effort to bring smart people together to have inspired and thoughtful exchanging of ideas. Thanks for taking the time to read this and let me know if you want to be a list of folks we are sending the "cut and paste" blog copy for the next several Wednesdays.

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from Kira Nerusskaya, a 300 pound filmmaker with a message to share. The film showcases heartfelt interviews with fat women from around the world who discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world. Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this next step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends. Donate Now. Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00p.m. EST for a "meet the film maker" conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details at http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

THE SIZE ACCEPTANCE SALON - CHEWING THE FAT

I have been in "observe" mode on the fat-0-sphere lately. I have been doing the equivalent of Channel Surfing. There are the usual stuff, fashion, some recipes, personal stories, and some conflict and discussions of responsibility, civility, protocol and puppies.

At this point on my journey into the Size Acceptance/Fat Acceptance community I have identified many aspects of this community I like, and many aspects of this community that could use improvement.

There has been talk of what is the mission of the Fat Acceptance movement. What are its rules of engagement or what should they be. All very important discussions to have.

Apparently, discussions that have been had, a lot. In, fact I get the sense that some of the more established folks on the Fat-o-Sphere are a little tired of having the same discussions over and over again. Other's, like myself, are eager to have these discussions.

Right now the big buzz is around the Fat Studies Reader. It is very exciting to have watched the pre release buzz and to now see readings being organized. With the energy of all these voices coming together I have initiated the creation of a Size Acceptance Salon, which will assemble both virtually (conference calls and internet) and live, in person, Salons in New York City and hopefully other cities around our nation, heck, even in other countries. ( telling myself dreaming big is totally cool)

My goal is to create safe spaces to have the conversations around the issues of Fat/Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size. I hope to enlist the more experienced members of this community to be part of these discussion for the purposes of exchanging ideas, facilitating commutation, respectfully debating our differences, and most importantly, creating a supportive sense of community.

I believe if we take the time to understand what others belief, and what others want, and what is important to each of us, we can partner on moving forward with agreed upon goals, whether individual or as a group.

So with that please consider joining The Size Acceptance Salon - Chewing the Fat, at www.meetup.com/sizeacceptancesalon. Our first conference call is scheduled for this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7pm. http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

Cheers,

Ivan

148 / editorial: beth ditto "size zero" in pop magazine

(author unknown) — 2009-11-11T10:17:00-08:00

There’s way more photos under the cut! (images from niwde)

Lane Bryant Friends Family event!

Colleen — 2009-11-11T07:24:36-08:00

Well, I wish I had known about this before I bought stuff over the weekend but that’s ok! Everything at Lane Bryant is 25% off through November 15tth. And you can save even more with a gift cheque for $25 off a $75 purchase, $50 off $150, or $75 off $225 with the code 050002658.

Adipositivity 326

The Adipositivity Project — 2009-11-11T03:19:13-08:00

Adipose: Of or relating to fat. Positivity: Characterized by or displaying acceptance or affirmation. MISSION: The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that's normally unseen. The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally. The photographs here are close details of the fat female form, without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they're looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance. The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you've clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends. This is what they look like with their clothes off. Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal. Bookmark adipositivity.com and check back often, as new photographs are added regularly(ish). And please help spread the message. The Adipositivity Project: Changing attitudes about the aesthetic validity of big women, one fat fanny at a time. ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER: Substantia Jones’ photography has been exhibited in galleries and museums throughout the US East Coast, and has appeared in The New York Times, Time Out New York, and some other publications she can’t recall at this time, but you probably haven’t heard of them anyway. She is biographied in the 2006 Who’s Who in America (though under the name her momma gave her), and back in the day, she won some photography awards which would sound somewhat Mayberry if listed here, but at the time, they damn near made her cry. Still kinda do. She lives in Manhattan, where she also sometimes steps out (more like lays around) in front of the camera, and on some of those occasions, the snapping is done by her trusty sidekick, Dr. H, who also fetches her banana popsicles and maintains her muse, a certain pancake colored dog who’s asked that his name not be mentioned on the Internet. Ms. Jones likes crispy calamari, Squidbillies, and the ika okonomiyaki from Otafuku in the East Village, if only the lines weren’t so long. ANNOUNCING: TAP Shop is now open! To mark the first 100 Adipositivity Project images and to answer those who've asked for T-shirts, calendars, and posters, a CafePress shop has been set up with the requested items, as well as mugs, bumper stickers, mousepads and greeting cards. Yeah. Went a little crazy there. So go get your merch on! Visit TAP Shop Thou shalt not reproduce without permission. Except for babies. Make all o' them you want. © The Adipositivity Project 2007-2009

The First Clue

Bianca — 2009-11-11T08:12:46-08:00

By Bianca

If you didn’t know, because you are one of those uncool people who don’t read our blog everyday, The Zaftig Chicks are having another contest.

No one has even come close to the correct answer yet, so here is your first clue.

The search term was mentioned twice, in posts written by Sylvia, about two months apart.

I am closing comments here. Please post your guesses on the original contest post. Good luck!

Ever Have One of Those Days?

spoonfork38 — 2009-11-11T06:02:47-08:00

Make Kira Nerusskaya’s Fat Acceptance Film, Fat Girls Float, a Reality

(author unknown) — 2009-11-11T06:57:12-08:00

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and passion with the world.

The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world; they discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world.

Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends.

Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00 p.m. EST for a “meet the film maker” conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details at http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

DONATE NOW to see Kira’s movie make Fat Acceptance history.

Calorie counts: Coming soon to a restaurant near you?

Rachel — 2009-11-11T05:54:00-08:00

We’ve discussed the pros and cons of posting calorie counts on restaurant menus before. Now Politico’s Glenn Thrush points out a little known provision in the House health care bill that would mandate such conspicuous calorie-counting. He writes: Buried deep in the House health care bill is a provision, likely to raise nanny-state hackles, requiring fast-food [...]

Yes, I do know I’m fat.

TR — 2009-11-11T04:41:26-08:00

It’s been a bit busy at Chez Rotund but I have many, many personal and fat things to talk about!

Right now, though – and man, does it feel early in the morning right now, I have this link to my most recent piece for Comment Is Free.

They recently received a comment wondering if… wait for if… fat people know they are fat.

*facepalm*

Fat is a humanist issue

The “eat less and exercise more” comments are making quite the showing, as are the “it’s your own fault for being fat” comments. But there’s some good discussion that is cropping up, too. I’m always surprised by how that goes.

Also, for the visitors wondering about the tagline – that’s a direct response to an accusation by a radio caller that I could justify my existence however I want; fat people don’t need to justify their existence!

Holiday Weight-Loss

drstaceyny — 2009-11-10T17:36:22-08:00

Drstaceyny would like to believe that she lives in a diet-free world. . . but she does not. A reporter recently contacted me and asked for trends in weight-loss that might be influenced by the economy, the holiday season, etc.

Are people changing the way they lose weight? Are they foregoing formal diet programs (e.g., Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, WW) and tossing their diet books, trying to go at it alone?

Thoughts?

147 / ootd: rachel zoe inspired

(author unknown) — 2009-11-10T17:23:00-08:00

So I picked up this fur vest from Torrid last weekend and immediately pictured it with this black...

Fat vs Fluffy

tanteterri — 2009-11-10T14:57:14-08:00

I am NOT fluffy – I am FAT.

I know I am fat. Everyone who has ever laid eyes on me, knows I am fat. And most people, who have spent any time with me, know that I openly acknowledge that I am fat.

Fluff doesn’t jiggle. And jiggling is fun! I love moving my body and feeling the way different parts react to the movement (and how long it takes for it to stop – ha!). It’s fun to grab on and shake!

I feel using euphemisms for fat are not helpful. For some reason, many people seem to think that fat people don’t realize that they are fat. At least, that’s the only explanation I can come up with for the behavior of these people – people who come up and tell you their latest diet or exercise tip; and people who call you “fat”.

However, I also understand that fat-acceptance is a journey; and not everyone is on the same place in that journey. Calling yourself fluffy, big, plus-sized, etc. is, at least, a step in the right direction – you are starting to come to terms with your “size”.

Coming to terms with your size, however, is not the same thing as coming to terms with your fat. Many people are big, plus-sized, etc. but are not fat.

As Goddess Lesleigh reminds us – our fat bodies are something to enjoy.

The wonderful Kathy Barron did a post on her Live Journal blog about getting back to enjoying your body the way children enjoy their bodies! How true. Look at a baby and how toes and fingers can be so fascinating! Until they are taught differently, kids love their bodies and realize what a gift the body is.

I don’t want to remonstrate anyone who is not where I am on the journey to fat acceptance. I try to be (what I hope is) a good example, approachable, and open to discussion with my fellow travelers. While the destination may be the same, the journey is different for each of us, and we can learn so much by listening to each other and sharing our experiences. Each step of the way is a good thing and an opportunity to go forward and help those who are coming along behind us.

We need to support each other, because we all know how hard the journey is. And there is certainly enough fat-hate out there, without adding conflict within the fat community.

All anyone can do is the best that they can in any given moment. We should all remember that. Cherish ourselves, and cherish each other.

Now get out there and jiggle something!

Testing Testing —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-10T10:44:00-08:00

Winner of $50 Kiyonna Gift Certificate

Corinna — 2009-11-10T07:40:00-08:00

Congratulations to The Asian Pear! Her comment was chosen using a highly scientific process to randomly generate a number through a complicated system of algorithms. OK! So I really just clicked the button on Random.org

Pear – has been contacted by e-mail. Her response to winning? “Oh my gosh really? ME?!?! Thank you! I’ve never won anything before. I am DEFINITELY getting the dress I had my eye on now.”

And please check out her blog – she just bought the cutest snow boots at Payless. I think I’m going to go try them on myself.

Thank you everyone for your participation. It was so much fun to see what everyone wanted. There will be more contests and giveaways every month so stay tuned.

Fat Suit Sighting: How I Met Your Mother

mo pie — 2009-11-10T12:39:38-08:00

Oh Neil Patrick Harris. How I love you. How everyone loves you! However. Not only was last night’s episode of How I Met Your Mother very upsetting (we can talk in the comments, fellow viewers) there was also a whole lot of “Barney eats! Barney gets fat! NPH puts on a fat suit!” humor. (Also it was weird, because in that fat suit NPH looks just like Jiminy Glick.)

The weight gain was presented in the show as not very true-to-life; Ted had a line to the effect that “Barney and Robin only ‘let themselves go’ a little bit, but we saw them like this…” so it was deliberately exaggerated for comic effect. I hate the phrase “let themselves go” a lot, and I didn’t find the scenes of Barney eating or all the jokes about all his food intake all that funny.

Not that the fat suit upset me all that much, especially in relation to the truly upsetting developments, but as I’ve said before, I consider it a cliche way to get cheap laughs. Are fat suits done yet?

Cold and Wet Weather Gear

Well-Rounded Mama — 2009-11-10T12:37:56-08:00

This past weekend, I took my kids to their soccer games as I usually do on weekends in the fall. It was a total Mud Bowl. Yuck.

Personally, I hate soccer in November because the weather is invariably nasty---rain, wind, cold, or worse.

Saturday was all of those....plus the worse. As in thunder and lightning. The ref wouldn't call the game at first because they only heard thunder. (Well, duh, if there's thunder then there must be lightning somewhere nearby as well! Potential safety issue, anyone?)

Finally, in the second half of the game, in the TORRENTIAL rain, winds blowing like crazy, and wind chill near freezing, there's a clear flash of lightning and a crash of thunder soon after. So finally, the game was called.

One more week of soccer to go. Hopefully it won't snow at next week's game, but I'm not holding my breath.

Ugh. I've got to get some new cold-weather clothing.

Why I Need Cold-Weather Gear More Than Most

First, you should know that I'm a VERY cold person....as in, I hate the cold and I get cold very very easily.

I think it's part of my hypothyroidism---I have a very narrow range of temperature in which I am comfortable, and a real tendency towards being cold, even when others around me are okay. Even though (with medication), my TSH and other readings are in the "ideal" range now, I still feel cold with very little provocation. And when I'm cold, I'm miserable.

My family laughs about how cold I am. I went RV camping a couple of years ago and sleeping beside me, my toddler was wearing a diaper and nothing else and was on top of the comforter....and she was fine. My DH had on only shorts and a t-shirt and he was fine. I was wearing full WARM clothes with mittens and was under a down comforter....and I was still freezing.

I just have very poor temperature regulation, for whatever reason, even with supposedly "well-treated" hypothyroidism. So when I say I need good gear for cold weather, I mean it.

Items That Work For Me

This summer I was talking with my nephews (who are avid hikers) and they recommended "Smartwool." So I got some Smartwool socks and gloves when I was at REI, buying fitness clothes for my kids.

Saturday was my first real chance to use them. They were awesome. I had thought, wool....ugh. But really, they were very comfortable and not itchy at all. And they did keep me noticeably warmer than cotton or fleece. It wasn't a cure-all---my hands still got cold by the end---but it was definitely better than what I already had, while being less bulky to boot.

Unfortunately, some of the best cold gear doesn't come in plus sizes. When I saw all the nice stuff available at REI for my kids, I really was struck by the difference in what's available in "regular" sizes and what's available in "plus" sizes. Additionally, I was frustrated at just how inferior a lot of the stuff available in plus sizes is, especially the higher range of plus sizes. Frustrating!!!

For example, Junonia is where I usually go when I want something for sports, fitness, or outdoors in my size. I typically wear about a 4x or 26/28 (anything from 3x to 5x, depending on the company, but I like things loose and I've got a 'rack,' so I prefer to be generous in sizing) and Junonia is one of the few places where I can get that kind of gear in my size, not just the "tweenie" sizes.

Junonia carries a lot of great stuff in many ways, so I do generally recommend them as a company----but I've also been disappointed by some of their stuff before. Many things have been fine, but I've ordered more than a few things from them that really disappointed me...which is bad cause they are not cheap. And just when I find a type of swimsuit or fitness pant that I do really like from them, they discontinue it. Augh!

However, I had a revelation this fall. I realized that a number of companies carry good outdoor gear in MEN'S plus sizes, often up to 2-4x (generously sized), and because MEN'S plus-sizes run larger than women's plus sizes, it's one way to find gear in extended sizes for me.

This is a decent way to fill in the gap, I've discovered. Women's plus sizes often end at XL or 2x if you're lucky, but a Woman's 2x is a lot smaller than a Man's 2x. Some Men's 2x sizes fit me (depends on the company), whereas a Woman's 2x usually won't.

And oftentimes, the Men's plus-size range extends into larger sizes than the Women's plus sizes. So Men's plus sizes can be a great way to get decent cold-gear stuff in extended sizes for women who need a little extra room.

For example, L.L. Bean carries a lot of great outdoorsy stuff....but most of their women's stuff ends at an XL, or about a size 18. However, their men's stuff mostly ends at a 2x, some of which fits me (a Woman's 4x).

At Lands' End, women's sizes go to 3x in some limited items, with a couple of new 4x and 5x items (but their size chart only goes to 3x, so it's hard to tell what their "4x" and "5x" really means in real life). BUT men's sizes at Lands End go to 4x, and it's likely that their 4x is much bigger than the equivalent in women's sizes.

But isn't it maddening that men's plus sizes are readily available in a much wider range of sizes than women's plus sizes are? And particularly in practical stuff like cold and fitness gear?

Another sign of the double standard out there....it's okay for MEN to be plus-sized and even very plus-sized....but not for women. Women are only allowed to be a little bit plus-sized, if at all.

And of course, why bother to supply cold or fitness gear for very plus-sized women because we all know they can't be doing any activities that require such gear, right? But on the other hand, we all know that very plus-sized men do need this sort of thing....just not the chicks. Ugh!!! (Fashion Pet Peeve #548 and #549, I guess.)

So anyhow, I took a chance and ordered a wool long underwear/sweater from L.L. Bean in a Men's 2x. I didn't think it would fit me but it did. A little snugger across the behind than I prefer but definitely workable. It's been GREAT.

I also ordered a really nice Men's hoodie coat, lined with a special fleece, from L.L. Bean. I was looking for something for that "in between" weather----don't quite need a full-on winter coat, but a light jacket just won't cut it. But this works great for in between weather and even into light winter weather. I'm loving this jacket more and more each day, and just discovered that they have an even more insulated version of the same coat, so I'm thinking about getting that too.

Footgear - A Special Problem

Footgear is a particular problem for me because I have abnormally large legs, probably from lipedema. Most people have never heard of lipedema, and most fat people don't have it....but lucky me, I probably do. Here's a definition from biglegwoman's blog:

Lipedema -- sometimes spelled lipodema or lipoedema -- is a hereditary condition which causes patients (almost always women) to store excess fat in the lower body, particularly the lower legs.

This is not the same as lymphedema, mind. In lipedema, the size is from excess fat being deposited there, not a malfunction of the lymph glands as in lymphedema (although lymphedema can sometimes be a side effect of lipedema). Also, lipedema is bilateral (on both legs) and lymphedema usually is not.

Anyhow, that's another post. The relevance here is that it's hard for me, with my very large-sized calves (and cankles, I haz dem too), to get boots for wet or cold weather. Impossible, in fact---at least so far. Even the places I've found online that cater to boots for wide calves don't go up to my size. Not even the ones that specialize in super-wide calves. I could have a pair custom-made, but that's prohibitively expensive.

So I have yet to find boots to wear to keep my chronically-cold tootsies warm and dry.

Instead, I try to buy warm footwear that ends at the ankle.

In the past I've used Duck Shoes, but find they tend to cut off the circulation in my feet. Wore them to one soccer game this fall and didn't feel my pinky toe on one foot for most of the rest of the day. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

So I went to Lands End recently to see if there were any men's or women's shoes for winter weather and found these. I wore them with my Smartwool socks this weekend and my feet did indeed stay warm and dry, despite the Mud Bowl conditions. Huzzah!!

If I were walking in deep puddles or got really splashed, I'd still get wet and cold, but hey, I'd get the same with the duck shoes and at least I don't lose feeling in my feet in these shoes.

What I Still Need

One thing I forgot to wear this weekend was long underwear on my legs so they'd stay warmer. I do have a pair from L.L. Bean---so next time, I'm definitely going to remember to try them out.

But my pants to totally wet last weekend because the wind was blowing the rain so hard. So I've decided that I have to get some rain pants, preferably some that keep you warm too.

I'm contemplating buying these or these from Junonia, so if you have feedback on either, I'd like to hear it.

I'd also like to know if there are any other choices out there. Men's clothing isn't really an option here because I'm really short, more curvy in the hip than most men, and I'm not handy enough with a needle to hem or size them properly.

So does anyone have any fabulous options or recommendations for wind/rain/cold weather gear for the higher range of plus sizes? Especially rain pants?

Are there any other decent companies out there that specialize in sports, fitness, or cold-weather gear for women and have extended plus sizes? (I'm not talking about Lane Bryant or Roaman's or Just My Size, I mean companies that specialize in this type of item.) I'd love to have some more options to choose from.

Let me know what you've used that works for you, and any other resources you find. Share it in the comments section so others will know about it too.

And send me some warm, dry thoughts for Saturday! (And tonight too, I have an outdoor activity going tonight as well.)

Another Beautiful Belly!

Sylvia — 2009-11-10T12:33:02-08:00

Here’s a beautiful belly from Liz C.

Enjoy!

Beautiful skin: my routine

(author unknown) — 2009-11-10T12:40:00-08:00

I should start by saying that my skin is neither oily nor dry, but somewhere in the middle. I don’t purport to say that these products will work for everyone, but they have worked for me. I think that, essentially, good skincare amounts to cleansing, exfoliating, moisturizing, and protecting.

Skincare can be expensive. But you will have your skin longer than any pair of shoes, so remember to give skincare a proper place in your fashion/beauty budget! I think healthy skin is fundamental to great fashion. It helps you look and feel more fabulous!

1. Cleansing— I am an advocate of oil based cleansers for people who wear foundation a lot. Nothing that I have come across removes makeup better. Shu Uemura makes cleansing oils for several skin types. After my makeup is off, I follow up with Origins “A Perfect World” cleanser, using only a tiny bit because it can be drying (also good for oily skin). At least once a week and sometimes twice a week I will do a mask. This black tea mask by Fresh is great, though it can sting a little! Also great is the Boscia detox mask for people who want something a bit gentle.

Origins cleanser, Fresh Black Tea mask, Shu Uemura oils

2. Exfoliating— This step works with with cleansing. If you are using makeup and anything else on your skin, but are not exfoliating, you may have dead skin buildup which can lead to problems like dullness. My Clarisonic brush was a fantastic beauty investment! It sloughs off dead skin in a way you cannot achieve with just hand washing. I use it with the Origins cleanser. I also use more traditional, granule-based exfoliation with Om Aroma’s “elixir” which has crushed champagne grapeseeds and is infused w/ mother-of-pearl. I don’t over-exfoliate though! I do this maybe 3 times a week, alternating between this and the brush.

Clarisonic, Om Aroma

3. Moisture— In my opinion, this is often the root of both dry skin and oily skin. Dry skin isn’t getting moisture and skin becomes patchy or flaky. Likewise, oily skin may not be getting enough moisture so it overcompensates by producing oils. Lush’s gorgeous moisturize is great because it has great ingredients and keeps my skin dewy for several hours at a time. No other moisturizer I’ve used beats this one. Remember to gently pat your moisturizer onto your face. I use this in the morning and at night. As far as eye creams go, I love this one by 100% pure, another all natural company, which has coffee in it to boost the skin. I keep it refrigerated for even more boost in the morning.

LUSH Gorgeous, 100% Pure Eye Cream

4. Protection— This is often the most overlooked category, but perhaps one of the most important. The best thing you can do to keep your skin looking young and staying healthy is to wear sunscreen every day, even if it’s overcast, seriously! I love this one by Shiseido because it’s very effective and leaves no white cast on my skin. Remember, you should wait a few minutes between applying your moisturizer and applying your sunscreen! Finally, now that you have a healthy canvas, it’s important to be careful with what you put on it. I am very picky about foundation and my favorite is by La Mer. It helps me look flawless and supposedly has some of La Mer’s skincare tech in it. They have a limited range of colors though. My second favorite would be Makeup Forever Face and Body, which should work for most skintones.

Shiseido sunscreen, La Mer foundation

Please let me know if you have questions! I am very passionate about good skincare and would love to hear your thoughts or about great products you love. Remember, give yourself 1 day per week when you refrain from using products on your skin (beyond gentle cleansing if wearing makeup) to give your skin a break. I will be making a post with my daily makeup routine some other time! P.S. I think text was better for this, a video would have been very long, but I may make videos in the future!

Not your typical tee

Colleen — 2009-11-10T09:46:18-08:00

I’m clearly into sequins lately. When I spotted this sequin knit top at Lane Bryant, I snapped it up, tried it on, and brought it home. It is absolutely perfect for dressing up a pair of jeans without a lot of effort. The knit is soft and comfortable and the sequins are little squares instead of circles, so the overall effect is geometric and modern. Simple bangle bracelets and a generous helping of black eyeliner are just enough to complete the look. Love it!

I have a problem with overeating… but not the kind you’re thinking of

Katie — 2009-11-10T11:11:30-08:00

I have a problem. There is a food I can’t stop eating. And it’s not cake, or cookies, or donuts, or Starbars, or ice cream, or any of the other so-called “bad foods.”

My problem food, that has recently become an issue, is hummus and rice crackers.

It’s not that I’m binging, and I certainly can’t even remember the last time I felt over-full (I think it was when I had Indian food early last summer with some friends and ate too much rice too quickly). But it’s a problem because every time I’m hungry—seriously every time—I want hummus and rice crackers. And if I give in to the temptation, I often eat so much of it that I don’t have appetite left for the other good foods I want to be eating, like fresh fruits and veggies, fish, etc.

I know how to fix this problem and the words “diet” and “willpower” have nothing to do with it. In fact, I’m going to use a different word I like much better: intentionality.

I’m going to be more intentional about eating hummus and rice crackers.

I’m not going to grab the whole container of rice crackers, I’m going to get a dish and just take a handful of what I want to eat.

I’m going to plan out what my meal will look like before starting to eat the hummus and crackers. That is, I’m going to have in mind all the other good things I’ll be eating rather than just get caught up in the deliciousness that is the hummus and rice crackers.

I’m going to eat more slowly. I’m going to wait until a few seconds after I swallow to reach for the next cracker.

Honestly, I am aware that this whole post probably sounds like a joke. I assure you, it’s not. I’m completely serious. I have a problem with hummus and rice crackers.

But the problem is not binging, as I’ve already said.

And the problem is not emotional. I’m not “eating my pain.” I’m not stuffing some big feelings down by eating too much. I’m not avoiding anything. I just happen to freaking LOVE the taste of hummus and rice crackers so much that I don’t want to stop!

And the problem doesn’t require a diet, willpower, or an Overeaters Anonymous group (in fact I’d actually love to see the reactions of the folks at one if I went and said my problem was hummus and rice crackers!)

So this post isn’t a joke. I’m serious—I’m going to be a lot more intentional about eating hummus and rice crackers starting today.

The real joke is that we’d treat cookies, or cake, or Starbars, or any of the “bad foods” differently. The assumption that if I couldn’t stop eating ice cream, it would be a different problem than that I can’t stop eating hummus and rice crackers.

Or another real joke here is the assumption that overeating a particular item is a bigger deal because I’m fat than if I was thin. That if I was thin, obviously my metabolism would be taking care of it, but if I’m fat, I’m obviously fat because I can’t stop eating hummus and crackers (which, just in case you missed it, is ridiculous because I’m not overeating in the sense that I’m over-full, I’m overeating in the sense that I’m not getting a good variety of other foods).

Now, I really don’t want to downplay the fact that some people really do struggle with emotional over-eating. It’s a real problem in the real world. And often different groups and plans may help with that; since I don’t have experience with it, I’m really not an expert on that and I’m not trying to define anyone else’s experience.

All I want to do with this post is point out that our beliefs about fat people and overeating have become a joke. Fat people do not all overeat, and even when we do, sometimes it’s not the “bad foods.” And diets don’t work, and willpower is a buzzword. But as long as there isn’t truly an underlying, unresolved emotional issue at play, we can all choose, each day, to be intentional about how we eat.

What is your PLUS SEXY- Qristyl Frazier dares you with her Fall Collection

Marie Denee — 2009-11-10T11:00:38-08:00

Qristyl Frazier has done it again! In the Spring, QFD dazzled us with some amazing finds, but I think she has tapped into her inner diva with this one! Bringing fire to the plus size fashion area,...

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Fall Delights with Plus Size designer Trentacosta

Marie Denee — 2009-11-10T09:58:43-08:00

If you are not familiar with Trentacosta New York, you should be! This designer has been delivering, season after season, gorgeous looks that will be and are mainstays for the Curvy.Confident.Chic....

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146 / sneak peek: rodarte for target

(author unknown) — 2009-11-10T10:21:00-08:00

The countdown to December 20th is on. That is when the Rodarte GO International collection arrives...

“I will always love you. Even if…”

Ali — 2009-11-10T10:54:18-08:00

I would like to put out there that I absolutely adore the movie Away We Go. It was the one that came out this past summer with John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph who play Burt and Verona, a couple expecting a baby and looking for a place to live where they would like to raise their child. I will admit that my original interest in the movie had something to do with an infatuation I have with John Krasinski as Jim on The Office, but I ended up loving the entire thing– especially the relationship between Krasinski and Rudolph’s characters and their feelings about building a family. It has some really hilarious moments too.

There is one especially nice scene that sticks out to me where Burt and Verona are lying on a trampoline, making vows to each other centered around their child. One of the things Burt says is “Would you promise to let our daughter be fat or skinny or any weight at all…because we want her to be happy no matter what? Being obsessed with weight is just too cliche for our daughter.” And Verona replies “yes I do.” That warmed my heart a whole lot.

There is just one part in the movie that does not quite sit well with me. Burt and Verona are in laying in bunks on a train and pregnant Verona is feeling tired of being big and saying that she feels ugly. Burt is sweet and tries to comfort her in a funny and kind of ridiculous way (because that’s his character). He says “Don’t be sad! You’re not that big! You’re still super sexy…hot even.” and then goes on to say “I’ll always love you. Even if you’re enormous. Even if it takes you months to lose this weight…a year. Even if you gain weight after having the baby. Even if you gain so much weight that I can’t find your vagina.” I hate to admit that I did laugh when I first watched this scene, just because of the way Krasinski delivers his lines.

Insulting vagina joke aside…Burt’s promises of “even if” have very telling implications about women, fat, and desirability. The way he says it implies that there would be reasons for a man not to love his girlfriend or wife if they were fat. His professions of love make him look that much sweeter to us as a character because he is willing to love a fat Verona. In my opinion, if someone really loves their partner, then the “even if”s would already be understood in saying “I will always love you.” Maybe this is an idealistic notion because I do understand that sexual attraction is a big part of relationships and a change in someone’s body could realistically change that level of sexual attraction. But I’d like to think that if you really and truly love someone, they are attractive to you no matter how their body changes.

Speaking as a heterosexual fat college student with very little relationship experience, this brings up a whole slew of questions I have for my new fat-accepting self. As I was growing up and had Cinderella-story fantasies of love and romance, I always envisioned someone loving me in spite of my size. Loving me for my “inner beauty” or loving me for “who I am on the inside”. I have since matured from that, realizing that “who I am on the inside” is fat too and that “inner beauty” is such a bullshit concept (how can you even judge ‘inner beauty?’ and who is to say what is beautiful whether inside or out? It was probably a concept created as a backhanded compliment to people who don’t meet society’s beauty standards).

Now, I know that I want to be with someone who will want me as I am, size included. But I don’t think I want someone to be interested in me for my size (someone who is interested in women because they are fat). I want someone to like my body, but if I lost weight for whatever reason at some point I would not want their interest in me to diminish. And I also don’t want to run the risk of being objectified, even if it is in a fat-positive way.

But at the same time, I support people who are primarily interested in fat people and I don’t consider them fetishists. After all, we don’t consider people who are only interested in skinny people fetishists.

I feel like it’s a confusing area to navigate, understanding what role the body plays in love and relationships. I think being fat complicates the role attraction plays in love because it is a marginal body type and confronts us with certain questions. As fat people, do we want to be loved in spite of our size? Do we want to be loved for our size? I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts. experiences, and opinions.

*In other news…I got my Fat Studies Reader in the mail today!! I’m super pumped!

Winner of $50 Kiyonna Gift Certificate

Corinna — 2009-11-10T05:29:59-08:00

Pear – has been contacted by e-mail. Her response to winning? “Oh my gosh really? ME?!?! Thank you! I’ve never won anything before. I am DEFINITELY getting the dress I had my eye on now.”

And please check out her blog – she just bought the cutest snow boots at Payless. I think I’m going to go try them on myself.

Thank you everyone for your participation. It was so much fun to see what everyone wanted. There will be more contests and giveaways every month so stay tuned.

Embrace your Heavenly Curves

Marie Denee — 2009-11-10T08:28:01-08:00

There is a new designer on the scene catering to your full figured luscious frame! Here to give you the perfect foundation to your wardrobe is the newest lingerie designer to hit the scene, Heavenly...

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Stranger Than Fiction

angrygrayrainbows — 2009-11-10T07:58:33-08:00

I am exhausted. Depressed. Overwhelmed.

Now that my step-father (who raised me) is dying, it seems my mother is taking this opportunity to pull out all the crazy. To me it seems like she’s taking advantage of the situation to be even more inappropriate and abusive than normal. Maybe she’s not consciously doing this… but man… she’s a disgusting handful. But that’s not the whole story.

My step-father has been married to my mother for almost 30 years. He is insanely secretive. My mother didn’t even know how old he was. We found out through the hospital that he is six years older than he always told my mother that he was. I, however, was never allowed to know how old he really was… not until my mother got overwhelmed enough to finally spill the secret beans. If his age was a huge secret, can you imagine what truly important things he has also hidden? We have just discovered the tip of the ice berg…

Because step-dad is old and has obviously been declining over the last couple years, mom started pressing him to put all legal/financial papers in one place so that she’d have resources when he died. Before then, he only told her that on the day he died a man that she doesn’t know would come to her and give her all the information. Nevermind that this put my mother in a very vulnerable spot with regards to con-men. She pressed him until he gave her a safety deposit box key claiming that it had everything that she would need. Since he was incapacitated and we were told that he would die very soon, we opened the box. Empty. Completely empty.

We started searching the house. We found a secret bank account where his social security payments are deposited. We also found evidence of secret credit cards. So far we have found $22K in secret credit card debt.

I found some benefit information and started making calls to find out details on pension and life insurance, so we’d know what kind of income my mother will have. $15K in life insurance. That’s it. $15 freakin’ thousand bucks. No joke. He kept my mother isolated and didn’t let her learn any life skills and he leaves here with $15K?????? It’s like in death he wanted to give her one big “fuck you!” That doesn’t make sense, because he did seem to love her and they did get along… it just doesn’t make sense. I have some small hope that we will find some other life insurance policy that will actually be capable of supporting my mother. She’s only in her mid 50’s. She prolly has a long life yet to live and she will need financial support.

As his wife, she will be entitled to half his social security and half his pension upon his death. It’s hard to say if that will be enough as we’re still trying to find the pieces to this puzzle.

At this point, it seems like this man who claimed all these years to have set up my mother for a good life after his death was lying. He’s not even dead and I’m mourning. I’m mourning the man I thought he was and apparently never was. To me, the man who raised me (as faulted as I knew he was then) died last week when we realized that he has lied and lied and lied about some extremely important things. As things stand now, most likely she will be very dependent on me (ew… I can’t stand to even be in the same room with her… agh) and may need to declare bankrupcy. Just what I need. The sexually, mentally and abusive woman that I wish would just disappear from my life dependent on me. It’s all so disgustingly depressing.

As for step-dad, we were told he wouldn’t last the night a week ago. Since then, against all odds, he has been gaining strength, even though his heart is barely beating – literally. After a few days in the hospital, he became paranoid and decided that me and my mother were trying to kill him and that we didn’t really have him in a hospital… he thought we had him in some secret prison or something. No joke. He was screaming and yelling… it was horrible. It took four nurses to hold down this half-dead man long enough to sedate him with something in a syringe. Since that incident, they have been keeping him on huge doses of Ativan to keep him calm…. but when he starts gaining his senses again the paranoia comes back and only increases until someone gives him another dose of Ativan and Morphine. I have no idea how a heart that is so weak can sustain such physical violence and screaming. It is possible that he will survive in this state for months or even years. It’s sad to contemplate. I don’t want anyone to die… but it’s also terrible to watch someone live in such paranoid delusion and otherwise drugged stupor.

We were trying to set him up in home hospice, because when he was still making sense (before the paranoia) the docs explained that treatment would do little to help his chances for survival and he told us that because of this he didn’t want treatment… cuz it was likely pointless and he’d rather not have surgery and all that if it’s not going to make a difference. It took some doing, but I convinced my mother to honor his wishes. Me and my mother both had the same instinct to do whatever treatment we could do because there was at least a chance that it would improve his chance of survival. But, what is most important to me is that his wishes are respected and I was able to get mom to tow that line… and so, hospice it is.

The problem is… he can’t come home. My mother would be his only caretaker and he needs 24/7 care. We’re not completely sure yet, but we are assuming at this point that there won’t be enough money to hire in home helpers for when my mom is sleeping or when she needs assistance in caring for him. He cannot even feed himself or sit up on his own nor do the docs expect him to improve much. He needs a very high level of care. That means we need a nursing home – something he told my mother that he never wanted. It is heartbreaking to me that he is going to end up in a nursing home (even with all the secrets and betrayal). I suspect that the nursing home will just cause more paranoia, combativeness and delusion. As angry as I am, I also don’t want him to suffer. This just sucks. I wish we could afford home care.

Meh… drama.

In the meantime, I am fighting my instincts to curl in a ball and do nothing about anything. Nevermind that the apartment is a huge mess. It’s a struggle to master my feelings of being overwhelmed and actually get anything done. I worry that self-care and all that will go out the window… exercise, cleaning apartment and all that. So far, I’ve been able to push through to some extent, but sometimes it is still so hard. It’s hard even without the drama due to my depression and PTSD. I keep reminding myself that I’m a much happier person if I take care of things. It helps… hopefully the struggle will become easier in time. Just about everything feels like a struggle right now.

–AngryGrayRainbows

CNN’s Candy Crowley sports slimmer figure

Rachel — 2009-11-10T07:12:32-08:00

If watching TV truly kills brain cells, I committed a neural holocaust during the presidential primary and election. If I wasn’t obsessively refreshing FiveThirtyEight for the latest state forecasts, I was glued to MSNBC or CNN’s television coverage of all things political. During my brief affair with David Gergen, Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow, I [...]

Announcing the Winner of the Substantial Sample Halloween Photo Contest….

(author unknown) — 2009-11-10T04:51:43-08:00

Drumroll please . . . . .

Terri Weitze.

The selection committee was thoroughly impressed by the creativity and attention to detail in Terri’s Halloween costume and her awesome attitude displaying it!

Congratulations, Terri: You are beautiful, and thank you for being an inspiration to so many of us.

Fat Review: Bolt (2008 Disney Film)

April D — 2009-11-10T05:16:39-08:00

Okay so I’m a *wee* bit behind in watching movies. Mostly I can explain this one in that the previews made the film Bolt look very much like just another sad little addition to the stereotype Hero Learns Life Lessons trope collection. However this past weekend I found myself with an occasion to watch the [...]

Another Zaftig Chicks Contest – Enter if You Dare!

Bianca — 2009-11-09T16:17:19-08:00

By Bianca

It’s that time again! Sylvia and I have decided to capitalize on our new-found popularity after privilegegate thank all of our lovely readers by having another Amazon gift card giveaway. Aren’t you super excited!!!11!!1!

Ok fine, it’s not like winning the lottery, but it’s something free, so kiss my fat ass if you don’t like it.

This time we are going to do things differently. Instead of simply leaving a comment telling us how awesome we are, the winner will be the first person to correctly answer a super duper hard question.

WordPress gives us the ability to see what search terms people have used to find our blog. We are actually way overdue for a post about the crazy things people type into google to find The Zaftig Chicks. Obviously things like zaftig booty and Sylvia sucks are super common (especially Sylvia sucks).

The contest is this. The first person who correctly guesses what the #3 search term used to find our blog is, wins the gift card. We’re picking #3 because #1 and #2 are zaftig chicks and zaftig, and that’s way too easy.

I think this may be a little tricky. That’s why we are going to give out a clue everyday, starting on the second day of the contest. You can enter as many times as you want. The first person to get it right wins.

Now I don’t have to tell you that this is not about winning some stupid gift card (although you are more than welcome to buy me something pretty for my birthday). It’s about proving that you are way better than everyone else, by being the first to get the answer right.

Your guesses just need to go in the comments to this post.

Ready? Set. Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick hit - body size, health & fat phobia - someone gets it

Bri — 2009-11-10T04:55:37-08:00

It is so nice when someone actually gets it.

So very, very nice.

2009 Weblog Award nominations are being called for!

Bri — 2009-11-10T01:26:52-08:00

Go forth and nominate your favorite blogs in
all the different categories on offer. You can’t vote for that blog you love unless it has been nominated in the first place, so go to it!

Tru fax from hysterialand.

Shannon — 2009-11-09T08:57:00-08:00

I'm taking a little Nanowrimo break because I have some shit on my mind. I was going to do a tights review but I'm not in the mood.

I'm having some Inbetweenie angst right now courtesy of a very slight bit of weight gain.

I don't know how much because I don't weigh myself I keep tabs on what my body is doing fat wise by how my clothes fit. And right now I'm having pants problems.

I gained a little bit of weight and the two pairs of pants I have that fit well don't fit so well right now. But it's not enough weight that I can easily go a size up.

So I am freaking out because despite my earlier declaration of a wardrobe without pants, I'm too much of a big fucking wimp to brave the uber windy rainy Seattle fall weather without said pants.

I also don't have a lot of money as most of you know. Matter of fact right now I have no extra money that is not designated for bills or food.

So my weight fluctating really tends to freak me out. I'm talking weight changes in either direction. It freaks me out because I cannot (ever) just go out and pick up a new pair of pants or whatever willy nilly.

As things stand right now after bills next week, I will have just about enough to pick up a pair of pants from one of teh local thrift stores. What this doesn't mean is a pair of pants I like but a pair of pants I need.

And I have to tell you guys I get so angry and upset.

It feels really dumb and I'm embarrassed to admit it but this is when I hate being poor. I hate being poor because I more often than not wind up with clothing that I absolutely need rather than what I absolutely love.

I fucking resent having to spend what little bit of dinero I have for clothing on shit that says nothing about my style or entirely displeases my sense of aesthetics.

It upsets me because I really LOVE thrifting but, I tend to have to buy this thing rather than buying this other thing and I hate it.

There I said it.

I'm sitting here blushing and I am really embarrassed.

But there it is.

I had intended on saving my clothes monies for one very specific pair of pants from Torrid (these in case you're wondering) expensive but I have been waiting (and writing Torrid at least once every two months) for some plain black twill boot cut pants.

I'm going to rebudget.

This type of situation is also why I'm so keen on figuring out some kind of side hustle so when these things come up I don't panic.

Anyway.

Regarding the weight Uniballer figures that it's not actual permenant weight. My appetite has only recently gotten back to normal after all that epic sickness/super insomnia so my body is readjusting.

Fuck guys, I really hate this feeling. I know that I will get through it and I will at some point get some goddamn ass covers but it's that panic, that moment when I am thinking OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK and my brain kind of grinds to a halt.

Back to the inbetweenie thing.

I will tell you right now, I really don't like this particular size of my ass. My life would be entirely simpler if when I gained 5-10 pounds I went up an actual pants size.

Whenever I gain or lose weight it tends to come off or come on all over in a rather evenish fashion. I say evenish because anything under say a size 10 my thighs/boobs and shoulders are out of proportion with the rest of my body, but over all my body gets a little rounder in general.

The reason this bugs me is because when I do have small amounts of weight gain or loss like recently, nothing fits properly. Not my pants, not my bras, nothing fitted fits right. But unless I lose or gain a whole lot of weight (over 20 pounds one way or the other) my actual clothing sizes don't change a whole lot.

So this means that I gain a little weight and my usually perfect pants are too tight enough that I don't want to wear them. But (like the pants I'm wearing right now) the size up pants are still too big.

A photo to show you.

It's not super quality but my pants are safety pinned pulled in about two and a half inches so they don't fall right off of my ass.

That bit near my fingers is the giant safety pin.

These are a torrid size 14. My usual size is yes a 12 as we've discussed previously.

So I am feeling crabby and angry.

*Note to self take a deep fucking breath.*

I feel a little better.

I will have new pants soon, I just have to make do for another week with what I've got.

Back to Nanowrimo. I'm a little over 11K in. Way behind but yeah.

Also I have some hand sewn stuff to show you guys at some point. And my first attempts at crocheted accessories including a cuff bracelet and necklace thingymaboober.

Also watch out for some new sexy times advice about guess what?

Penis that's what.

Also the epic tights review coming soon.

I love you guys.

Tell me what's new and fabulous.

If you are seeing this post anywhere other than http://nudemuse.org/bloger.html or via a feed reader it has been stolen.

BODYTALK: The video

Harriet — 2009-11-09T20:14:10-08:00

Sara Sultanik, a talented grad student here at Newhouse, put together this cool video about the BODYTALK project. Thanks, Sara!

Everyone else--what are you waiting for? I'd love to get an MP3 from you for the BODYTALK project.

Health care for all?

fatchicksrule — 2009-11-09T19:42:33-08:00

In the US, the House has passed a health care for all bill. Now it faces an uphill battle in the Senate. I have some problems with it, namely there is too much promotion of the idea that thin=health. However, since fat people are particularly vulnerable to the arbitrary loss of health insurance, just due to their weight, I think that making sure everyone has some kind of health care is a good start.

So please let your senators know you want them to pass "Health care for all," but not at the expense of fat people. NAAFA has done some lobbying and an article in Slate challenges the reasoning and numbers of incentive programs that pressure fat people to be thin.

People must understand that fatness is constantly correlated to things it may not cause. A recent interview with Glen "ALL FAT PEOPLE GET CANCER" Weldon, Linda Bacon and Marilyn Wann on BBC news where Linda points out that in the pancreatic cancer studies looked at only 4 that had cancer correlations where the rest (19) did not. Is this how this works? We make decisions based on crappy data, picking and choosing what we want?

Meanwhile HAES is showing more promise to making people healthy without focusing on weight.