"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

Bellies – A Summary

Sylvia — 2009-11-22T09:35:02-08:00

by sylvia

Back in September, Bianca and I decided that in order to learn to accept ourselves – ALL of ourselves, we had to do something out of our collective comfort zone. So we decided that for 31 days we would take pictures of our bellies and post them here – on this blog.

And we did. Every single day.

I must admit that while it was fun and liberating, it was also hard as crap to come up with something interesting each day. But we did it. Off to the right over there on the bottom is our flickr photostream. We wanted to have them all in one place. Let us know if you want a “Zaftig Belly” calendar for 2010, and we’ll figure out a way to get you one! For a price of course, but I’m sure a portion of the proceeds will go to a good charity. And no, Bianca – you are not the charity!

You can read the original post here.

Enjoy?

Zaftig Honors - Thanks Sylvia and Bianca

nycivan — 2009-11-22T09:06:03-08:00

Thank you to Sylvia and Bianca for this most prestigious honor. Usually I hot delete the moment I see something like this on my computer, but this is the Fat-O-Sphere and I gots mad love for all my peeps within it...

So I have to get back to you on the fellow bloggers, however, here is my 10 honest things for anyone who hasn't hit delete yet...

1. I once was forced out of someone's house at gunpoint.

2. I spent my 17th birthday in a psychiatric ward.

3. I have a 7 pound dog named mush

4. I crashed a car while REM's "Losing My Religion" was playing on the radio.

5. I crush hard for Jennifer Connelly

6. I do not have belly button

7. One day, I aspire to be as clever as Shannon

8. I haven't farted in 20 years

9. My brother and sister were literally born nine months apart - she 1/21/70 he-10/22/70

10. I see dead people

Pictures, because it did happen

Bronwen — 2009-11-21T20:00:17-08:00

I know how it is on the internet. People can say they do a ton of things, when they never do anything. Hence the saying, “Pictures, or it never happened.”

Today, I tested for my yellow belt.

The pictures are under the jump, as there’s a few of them there. (I did receive permission from Sensei J to take and post the pictures.)

This was the meditation at the beginning of the class with Sensei J. Because of the knee surgery, I do have the concession of not having to kneel. But that’s the only concession I am allowed.

There was a lot more involved than just these few pictures. Conall just didn’t spend the whole hour I was testing taking pictures.

Gratitude

Katie — 2009-11-21T19:20:50-08:00

It’s that time of year; the (American) Thanksgiving Holiday is approaching in just a few days. And as I’m looking forward to sharing dinner with my family on Thursday, I’ve also been reflecting about what I’m grateful for.

It started a few weeks ago, at the gym, sitting in the sauna after a jaunt on the elliptical machine and a few laps in the pool. My whole body felt the perfect combination of relaxed and energized, and I felt so immensely grateful for the body that allows me to experience these things that feel so good. I love the sort of “floaty jogging” feel of the elliptical (at least that’s what being on the machine feels like to me!). I love the way the water feels on my body, providing both resistance and support, and so soft. I love the instant relaxation of the heat from the steam in the sauna.

In that moment I was awash with the realization of just how much I’m grateful for my body.

In my body I can dance, playfully shaking my hips or intimately swaying with a partner. In my body I can kiss, caress, and make love to my husband. In my body I can hug my sisters, touch the arm of a troubled friend, take the hand of a small child. In my body I can squeal or laugh when I’m happy and cry precious tears when I’m sad. In my body I can savor the delicious taste of just-barely-undercooked fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies and savor the juicy goodness of crisp, cold, fresh cucumbers. In my body I can close my eyes and listen to music or open my eyes to gaze at art, both of which inspire and transform me. In my body I get to feel the world around me—the wind on my face, the temperature of the air, the feeling and texture of my steering wheel or the crosswalk button or the straps of my purse. In this wonderful body I get to move throughout the world in a sensual way, experiencing both pure delight and transformative pain that challenges, teaches, and matures me.

And the cool thing? That my body size has no bearing whatsoever on my ability to delight in my body’s ability to do these amazing things.

So this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for my body, exactly as it is.

What are you grateful for?

The Art of Self-Promotion

Sylvia — 2009-11-21T14:16:28-08:00

by sylvia

Ahh, so it looks like the theme for this weekend is “The Art of….” or I’m just really lazy and can’t come up with anything else.

So it looks like someone named “Sylvia” (?!?!?) nominated us in the “Best New Blog” category of the 2009 Weblog Awards.

Surprisingly enough, we have 0 votes already, and as far as we know, neither us nor any of our loved ones voted!

We’re not sure if voting will make us actual nominees or not, but would appreciate the votes, nonetheless! And the more “votes” we get, the more inclined we’ll be to make cookies and have gift-card contests, ifyouknowhatI’msayin’….

Here’s the link. Just do a search on the page for “zaftigchicks” and click the “+” sign next to our name, not our site (it’s tricky in there) to add another nomination!

Testing for Yellow

Bronwen — 2009-11-21T10:23:12-08:00

Today, I’m going to be testing for my Yellow belt. I’m extremely nervous about this.

If I survive, there may be pictures (depends on if Sensei allows).

Did I mention I’m nervous about this? Well, I am. Maybe. Just a little.

ETA: Test done. I passed! Picture post later!

Lincoln University: Epic fail

Harriet — 2009-11-21T09:34:06-08:00

Lincoln University, a historically black college in southern Pennsylvania, has made the news recently for jumping on the now-mandatory "wellness" bandwagon. As reported in the Chronicle of Higher Education, Lincoln's version is to institute a policy of weighing and measuring all freshmen; those with BMIs over 30 are required to take a one-credit course called "Fitness for Life" sometime before they graduate.

This policy exemplifies the worst of what's wrong with the way we as a culture approach fitness, health, and wellness. Like so many other institutions jumping on this bandwagon, Lincoln makes a fatal error in logic: It conflates weight with fitness.

So heavier freshmen at Lincoln are assumed to be "unfit" and "unhealthy." Just as bad, thinner freshmen are given a pass on the fitness course, the assumption being that they don't need it because they're not that fat.

If fitness and good health are the goals, shouldn't everyone have to take the course?

Some people object to the fitness course on libertarian grounds. Not me. I think good health and fitness is part of what we should be teaching children and practicing ourselves. But threatening or punishing larger people because of their size is not a useful strategy. As a researcher from the National Institutes of Health said recently, the number-one cause of obesity in this country is dieting. Programs like this buy in to the fat-is-unhealthy mindset. They also buy in to the thin-is-healthy mindset. By conflating weight with disease they do everyone a grave disservice.

My own school, Syracuse University, is looking at "wellness" programs right now. I hope I don't have to write a piece like this about SU someday.

We got a Wii, and the bowling is a blast!!!!!!

vesta44 — 2009-11-21T08:41:52-08:00

I spent 6 hours yesterday hooking it up and trying to get it to work on our TV, which is not easy when you don't have the original remote (DH went on a cleaning rampage and threw out all the universal remotes that had quit working and the original remote for the TV was in that lot). I finally found the website for help, I suggest not using the url they put in the manual but shortening it to support.nintendo.com (they said to use support.nintendo.com/inputselects.html and that doesn't exist when you type it in). So anyway, I ended up having to run the Wii through the VCR and then we have to put a movie in, play a few seconds of it, stop the movie, and then we can play the Wii. Pain in the ass, but my son said he'll fix that the next time he comes up here (probably at Christmas).
DH came home from work, we ate dinner, and he wanted to try it out (we bought the WiiSports). So we bowled 5 games before he decided it was time to quit and get ready for bed (he has to work today and tomorrow). Now, my son and his wife can sit down and bowl, but I found out that doesn't work for me, and it doesn't work for DH either, so both of us were taking turns standing between the recliner and the loveseat, in front of the TV, bowling (he said not to tell anyone, but I beat him 2 of the 3 games and it was my first time ever bowling with the Wii, he had bowled with my son and DIL on theirs). Don't let anyone tell you that bowling on the Wii isn't exercise. If you're standing up to do it, and you take at least one step forward when you release the ball (like I do), it's exercise. I wasn't breathing hard or anything like that, and I was having a lot of fun, but I was sweating and the house wasn't that warm. Today, my back is sore, and my bad knee is giving me fits, but that's not going to keep me from bowling again tonight when DH gets home from work and we're done with dinner.
I don't know if we'll ever play any of the other games that are on the disc (though DH did say he thought I might beat him at tennis, so we may end up trying that). Even if we don't play any of the other games, it's worth it just for the fun we have with the bowling. And DH saw another Wii game that he'd like to have - it's the one where you're shooting chickens, comes with a gun (there's a deer-hunting one as well). I agreed with him that the chicken one looked like fun, so that might be next on our list of things to get for entertainment at home............

Knit Wit- A round up of the chicest plus size knits

Marie Denee — 2009-11-20T20:22:03-08:00

You know this time of year. Weather dips just below chilly, suddenly, the Snuggie is looking tempting (I want one for Christmas- thank you!), and fireplaces are now, the new hot spot. As the weather...

Continued at The Curvy Fashionista

Shit that pisses me off — fat students not allowed to graduate, and other headlines.

Michelle — 2009-11-20T22:10:22-08:00

If you’re fat, too bad — no degree for you. Not until you’ve been rehabilitated and/or re-educated, that is.

Lincoln University has a new policy whereby students with a BMI over 30 are required to either lose weight or take a “Fitness for Life” course. Since they’re obviously too fucking dim to understand anything about nutrition or fitness, given that they’re fatty-fatty-fat-fats. (Relevant MetaFilter post. And NPR blog post.)

Okay, I know you know this, but let me just state, for the record: I am really goddamn fat. I’ve also just completed about four years’-worth of classes that focus on nutrition and fitness. And, now that I know a thing or two about nutrition and health — I’m still really goddamn fat.

(Thank you to Charlene, who emailed this in.)

ETA: Here’s a more in-depth analysis of the school policy’s legality and implications.

A new study claims that “Self-control [is] key to preventing childhood obesity” – except what I think they’re actually talking about is promoting eating competence by not restricting children’s diets. But I’m sure measuring self-control is WAHAAAAY better for getting research funding.

(Here’s the abstract to the actual study. I need to read the whole thing still, but I reserve the right to be pre-emptively pissy about these things.)

And, lastly but not leastly, the mystifying “Stop picking on fat people” appeared in the Opinion section of the Wall Street Journal.

I read it and immediately thought, “Buuuuuhwhat?”

Like, I’m sure it means well, but there’s a lot of stupid shit in there, including many lulzy references to how much food fat people eat. (To wit: those fat people sure do eat a lot!) And the author compares fat people to “workaholics, alcoholics or garden-variety idiots.”

Awesome.

158 / (yesterday's) ootd: winter default

(author unknown) — 2009-11-20T17:25:00-08:00

I meant to post this yesterday but didn’t get around to it. Every season, I come up with a default outfit of sorts. One that I can throw on when I’ve overslept and am running late and still look put-together. Last year it was all black everything, blazer, skirt and shirt. This year I’ve swapped out the blazer and skirt for a simple knit dress and cardigan. Its nothing too fancy or over-the-top but its comfortable fashion at its best.

What are your go-to items in your wardrobe? Do you have a favorite bracelet or pair of jeans that you wear with everything? Let me know!

dress, tights, belt, boots - torrid // cardigan, bracelet - f21 // scarf - h&m

Friday outfitblog.

Lesley — 2009-11-20T16:43:03-08:00

Only the one this week. See previous post. Black dress from eShakti.com; black cardi from LB, years ago; studded suede belt from Torrid, also years ago; purplish tights from We Love Colors; green plaid scarf from Marshalls; shoes are vintage Capezios; orca from Northeast Animal Shelter in Salem, MA.

Impending History —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-20T15:18:00-08:00

Where —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-20T14:35:00-08:00

Contessa on StyleLikeU

gabrielle.gregg@gmail.com (Gabi) — 2009-11-20T14:19:00-08:00

When I first saw Contessa Stuto on Musings of a Fatshionista a few months ago (Christina posted a picture of her from Zana's blog), I immediately fell in love with her style. I started following her on Twitter, and when she mentioned she was going to be featured on StyleLikeU, one of my favorite blogs, I almost peed my pants. I wish the video was longer, but it's great nonetheless.

Contessa Stuto from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

Check out StyleLikeU for more pictures of Contessa (and videos of a ton of inspiring people!)
Contessa's Myspace

Oprah to mauling victim: Blind? Disfigured? At least you won’t get fat

Rachel — 2009-11-20T13:01:38-08:00

You’ve heard of the Connecticut woman who was mauled by a 200-pound chimpanzee, right? Charla Nash, 65, was visiting a friend last February when her friend’s pet chimp attacked her, tearing off her nose, lips, eyelids and hands before being shot dead by cops. Nash later lost her eyes to infection and her facial disfigurement [...]

THE WAR on Obesity is Driving up Healthcare Costs, not Fatness

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — 2009-11-20T11:33:00-08:00

Loan modification, finally!!! And a warning....

vesta44 — 2009-11-20T11:35:40-08:00

We've only been trying since August of 2008 to get a loan modification on the mortgage on DH's house. DH has an ARM, that was supposed to be set at 9% when he refinanced in 2006 (3 months before we got married). When he went to sign the papers, they had upped the rate to 10.55%. He didn't want to sign, but didn't have much choice, as he had credit card companies that were hounding him and threatening to garnish wages, etc (credit cards he didn't know he had, his ex-wife got them in his name, ran them up, and when she left, he was stuck holding the bag). So he signed. The rate was fixed for 2 years with an option to refinance.
Well, y'all know what happened to the housing market in 2008. His house, that had been appraised at 125K (and I have no fucking clue how they came up with that appraisal for a one bedroom, 1 bathroom house with no central heat/air), was no longer worth that (tax appraisal was 66.5K). Mortgage company kept calling and asking if we were ready for the rate to reset and our payments to go up, and if we didn't want that, they were willing to lock us in for 5 years at our current rate and payment (the payment was almost $1200 a month, including escrow for taxes and insurance). We told them no way were we willing to lock in at the current rate, but if they were willing to lower it, we would talk. Nope, they didn't want to talk. And that continued.
Then we got a call from someone who said he could help us negotiate a loan modification. We talked, and eventually, he couldn't help us, because we were "under water" on the mortgage (owed more than the house was worth). But, he knew of a company who could help us (and that should have been a huge warning flag). He said he was going with a company called Green Credit Solutions, who had lawyers working on loan modifications for people who weren't able to get their lenders to work with them. A couple of his family members were also signing up, and so were a lot of his other customers. Cost was $3,495 and if GCS wasn't able to get a loan mod for you, you got $2,945 of it back (yeah, right). So we came up with the money, filled out the paperwork, sent all of the documentation they required, and thought we were on our way to a loan modification.
Well, between August of 2008, when we first started talking with Sean and GCS,and July of 2009 when we quit hearing from GCS, we had 8 different negotiators who had worked on our loan modification. Now they did apply for at least one loan modification that I know of, because our lender told us we had been denied. Something about DH made too much money (but that was because they were counting my income, and they weren't supposed to, since I'm not on the mortgage, and I wasn't going to be on the new one either). At that point, one of the negotiators said he wasn't supposed to tell us this, but that if we quit making payments on the house, our lender might be more willing to negotiate a loan modification. Up until then, DH had had the payments on the mortgage taken out of the checking account automatically every month. So, in November of 2008, he decided that he would stop the automatic withdrawal and we went to the bank and did that, went home and called the lender, told them the AWD had been stopped. In December, the lender tried to do an AWD, it was refused, and I had sent them a check. The bank also refused to cash our check because they thought we had stopped all payments to the lender, not just the AWD. So when the check bounced (and I caught it right away, because I balance our checkbook online every week), I called the bank to see why they had refused payment on the check. Bank said oops, our mistake, tell the lender to send the check back through and we will pay it.
So I called the lender, explained what had happened, and was told the check would be sent back through. Problem solved, right? Guess again.
So January comes around. I send in the mortgage payment check, with a note in the memo line that it's the payment for Jan 09. Then the calls start coming about when are we going to make January's payment. I told them we made it. That they needed to send back through the check I wrote for December's payment and gave them the check number. They said they couldn't do that, that we needed to send them another check for December's payment. I said, fine, send me back the check I wrote for December and I'll send you another check. Can't do that, they said, we take an electronic image and destroy the check. So send me some kind of assurance that you aren't going to resubmit that check for payment. Can't do that, they said. Then piss up a rope for your payment, I said. I'm not sending you another check so you can have two checks for the same month's payment and be able to cash both of them, and I'm not paying for a stop payment on the one, when you charged us a bounced check fee for the AWD not being paid when you knew we had stopped that.
February rolls around, I send them a check for the mortgage. Check clears the bank, and they try to do an AWD. And they charge us a bounce fee for the AWD failing. I call and chew ass. Then I fax them a letter stating that the AWD has been stopped, with copies of paperwork from the bank.
Lender calls every day, 3 to 4 times a day, either wanting to know if we're going to make the missed payment (which is in the savings account), or if we want to lock in at our current rate and payment for the next 5 years. It gets to the point where I know all the phone numbers they use, and when those numbers show up on caller id, I don't even bother to answer the phone. DH won't talk to them at all, he gets too mad (like I don't....lol).
Finally, we decide that GCS isn't going to do us any good, and we stop making mortgage payments on the house (they go into the savings account). When the lender calls, we tell them "Either give us a decent loan modification or take the house, we don't care. We don't have any kids, so we don't have to worry about schools or anything like that. We're not so invested in this house that we have to stay here, we can move, and we will." They piss and moan and delay and belly-ache and say there's nothing they can do. They've had an online appraisal of the house done and that comes out at 80K. I start laughing. They want to know what is so funny. I tell them there is no central heat/air in the house, that there is one wall furnace in the hallway to heat the whole downstairs, there are 2 electric baseboard heaters for the upstairs, and there's no heat at all in the basement. The valuation for taxes has gone down to 60K, and they'd be lucky to get 45K for the house, if they could sell it at all (there are houses in this town that have been for sale for more than a year and they're all better than this one). The only thing this house has going for it is its location (across the street from the lake/park, closest neighbor is across the street, and one across the American Legion parking lot). We told them it would take them 6 months to get us out of the house (so they would have lost a year's worth of house payments (14K), then the house would sit empty for who knows how long while they had to pay property taxes on it and lose more house payments, and then take a loss if and when they finally sold it).
So we got a phone call a couple of weeks ago, telling us we had been approved for a loan modification. Our rate went from 10.55% to 3.375% and is locked in for 5 years. Our mortgage payment went from $1157.28 a month to $620.69. We got the papers to go over (and sign) on the 11th. They had to be back by 20th (luckily they sent them next-day UPS and included a return label for us to use and there is a UPS pick-up box here in town). They recommended that we have a lawyer go over them with us, so we did. We signed them, got them notarized, and sent them back with the certified check for the escrow deposit (and I wrote down the UPS tracking number, and checked on it, they got the paperwork back yesterday).
So it pays to be a bitch sometimes, and believe me, I was a bitch with DH's lender. I just wish I could find the assholes who ran the scam called GCS. They would not even want to meet Helga, let alone PsychoBitch from Hell. I guess we'll just have to chalk that money up to experience, and let it go, but damn, that burns my hide, especially since I did research them and they seemed to be a legitimate company. Now, doing more research on them since their website has disappeared and their phone lines are disconnected, I find out they've fucked over a lot of people. DH and I are lucky, in that we didn't lose the house, and we managed to get the loan modification on our own, but there are a lot of people out there who relied on GCS who weren't so lucky. All we lost was $3,495 - they lost that and their homes.

Sticks and Stones —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-20T09:44:00-08:00

Carpal tunnel surgery upcoming

vesta44 — 2009-11-20T10:24:51-08:00

Well, I finally got the results from the EMG test done on my right arm. I do have carpal tunnel, the nerve is pinched in my wrist and the neuroligist recommends surgery to fix it before any damage is done to the nerve. At least the numbness is just in my hand now, and isn't in my arm, shoulder, neck, and head anymore. I am wearing a wrist brace at night, and it seems to help some, but the numbness in my hand doesn't ever go completely away. Unfortunately, I can't have the surgery done right away as DH is scheduled on Dec 14th for a complete knee replacement (his left knee is bone-on-bone and he's in a lot of pain that ibuprofen and extra strength tylenol combined don't even touch). So I'll probably get that done in February, after DH is mostly healed, but before he goes back to work (so he can take care of me, since I'm right-handed and won't be able to use that hand much for a couple of weeks).
His doctor at the VA says that, at 53 (almost 54), he's really too young for a knee replacement, but the orthopedic surgeon we saw yesterday said that since the cortisone shots and SynVisc shots didn't work, and pain meds don't help, that replacement is the only thing left to do in order to lessen the pain. Evidently, replacement doesn't always totally get rid of the pain, but most of the time, it does. DH is willing to go for it, he says anything is better than what he's dealing with right now.
The surgery isn't going to be done at the VA, they aren't doing any new surgeries because they are so far behind, so we had to find a civilian hospital to do it. Luckily, there's one in Alexandria (only 25 miles away) and the surgeon who will be doing the knee replacement trained at the VA in Minneapolis (small world....lol).
Looks like DH will be off work for about 8 weeks. He has some pre-surgery exercises to do to strengthen the muscles around the knee, and then he'll probably have to go to the VA at St Cloud a couple of times a week for physical therapy after the replacement. We have a meeting about knee replacements to attend next week, an informational type thing, where they tell us what to expect in more detail, and what medications he needs to stop taking and how long before the surgery he needs to stop taking them.
We may end up paying for a couple of his visits to the surgeon, since the VA says they're only paying for one visit before surgery, the surgery itself, and one visit afterward. According to the scheduling nurse, after the surgery, there will be a visit to remove the staples (two weeks post-op), then a visit 4 weeks post-op, and another one 12 weeks post-op (and another one after a year has passed). I don't think the VA is going to want to pay for those last 3 visits, but I don't see how a PA or an ortho doc at the VA is going to be able to do the follow-up when they aren't ones who did the surgery. But, like DH says, if we have to pay for the visits, so be it, we'll find the money somewhere (probably will come out of the money we're saving on the house payment since we finally got the loan modification on the house, which is a whole 'nother post).

Fat Models vs. Skinny Models

tanteterri — 2009-11-20T10:11:14-08:00

I know there has been some brou-ha going on lately about this issue. Truthfully, I haven’t read any of it – because it’s such a moldy-oldie issue. So, if it’s so moldy-oldie, why do I choose to write about it? Because I think the issue is more about the fat community than the clothing industry.

My personal feelings about thin models selling fat clothing is that it is offensive. I feel like the vendor is treating me like I am so stupid I don’t know that the clothes draping on the willowy model are going to look significantly different on me.

However, in the past, Lane Giant and others have done experiments of running ads with fat models and ads with thin models and the ads with the thin models always create more sales.

So while I know that clothes are going to look different on my fat body, the sales numbers have led the companies to believe in general folks in the fat community do not know this. Or that fat people so hate their own fat bodies, that they don’t want to buy something that a fat woman is wearing. Either way – how sad is that?

Until we learn to look at fat bodies (others and our own) and see beauty – we are going to have issues (conscious or not) buying clothes that are modeled on fat bodies. And you can’t blame the clothing industry for doing what is necessary to sell the most of their product.

If you have ever been to a NAAFA Convention, you will know that one of the most joyful events is the fashion show. NAAFA members model clothing for the vendors attending the convention. I have participated in several of these fashion shows, and I have to tell you I love it. I also love being out in the audience during the fashion shows. Onstage or not, there is such a pure joy in seeing fat people wearing beautiful clothing, feeling good about themselves, and knowing that they are being admired and appreciated. And lots of clothing gets sold in the process.

Some print catalogues do use fat models, and a few even use super-size models. Online, you have a greater chance of seeing clothing modeled by fat and super-size models. But these are smaller companies and often they cannot compete with the big companies when it comes to pricing; making it more difficult for the fat community to support them.

So even if you object to the use of thin models, your personal circumstances may leave you with little choice; and I don’t want to berate anyone for doing what they feel is best for themselves. We all have to make choices and pick the battles we can or want to fight. Hell, I order from Lane Giant (or Woman Within as it’s now called – are they referring to that thin woman inside of me that is supposedly screaming to get out? Well if she exists, she can STFU), because sometimes I can’t justify paying $80 for a pair of slacks modeled by a fat woman, when I can get the same thing for $30 modeled by a thin woman. Do I feel torn about it? Sure. I want to support fat-positive companies, and my husband will confirm that I do (way more than he would like at times) So we all do what we can do, when we can.

I much prefer that vendors who sell to fat people use fat people to market their product; and we’re making a little headway. But again until fat people put their money where their fat is and stop giving those vendors business, it’s not likely to happen.

And as a footnote, I don’t want to totally dis on the companies like Lane Giant – they were here first! If you are an oldster like me, you can remember the joy when the first Lane Giant store came to your local mall! Holy crap. A store where all the clothes fit YOU! And the clothes were cute too. So there is a level of loyalty to them because they saved me (and maybe you) from those awful old lady clothes which was what I had to wear before because there were no other choices. And now there is Torrid and Avenues – but Lane Bryant (there I said it) led the way – much to their profit, but they still led the way.

Is Newsweek’s cover of Palin in short shorts sexist?

Rachel — 2009-11-20T09:12:39-08:00

Even I was kind of shocked by Newsweek’s cover this week of Sarah Palin — not for the image used, which on first glance seemed both puzzling and irrelevant, but for the blatantly biased headline of “How do you solve a problem like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP — and for everybody else, [...]

Little People —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-20T08:30:00-08:00

157 / in our size: rihanna's knitted dress

(author unknown) — 2009-11-20T08:46:00-08:00

I’m not one that looks to celebrities for fashion inspiration but when I saw this candid photo of Rihanna wearing this multi-color knit dress, it was instant love. It was reminiscent of a similar jumper/dress I saw on Evans site. Seeing s how lately I’ve been obsessed with everything knitted. H&M’s current collection, which the above dress is a part of, is like pure heaven, there’s tons of chunky knit cardigans, scarves, gloves and more! I love this jumper/dress and would love to pair it with some teal/turquoise tights and boots. I should’ve added it to the order I placed yesterday but it totally slipped my mind!

Does anyone already have this from Evans? Let me know how it is!

ps. There’s a 15% off Evans code on the Musings Facebook page. Be sure to become a fan to stay up-to-date with coupons and more!

pps. The knit jumper was on the site yesterday but it seems to be gone today. *sigh*

The Art of the Compliment

Sylvia — 2009-11-20T07:14:36-08:00

by sylvia

So I don’t know if any of you know this, but I’m a big girl. Not necessarily in a figurative way, but definitely in a literal way. I’m 5′10″, I have size 11 feet, wear a 44G bra, and weigh about 270 (+/- 10lbs). And that’s not muscle. I also have big hair. Plus, I take after my mom’s side of the family, so am also big-boneded, in a German-stock stereotypical way.

So I’m a big girl. Some might dare say “husky”, but if they did, I’m sure my passive aggressive self would find some way to make them feel bad about it.

But I’m coming to terms with that. However, that is not the point of this drivel.

I’m not sure others are comfortable with it. Sure, it’s true that if you have confidence in yourself, others pick up on it and you can almost trick people into believing that you are not as fat as you really are. Wait, can you actually do that?

But because a lot of people assume that fat people are automatically self-conscious and therefore should be complimented like walking on so many eggshells, I find it an interesting behavioral phenomenon.

For example, talking to an older man today that a lot of us around here know. He saw a shirt on my desk from one of the companies we do business with. I asked him if he wanted it because A) he would get more use out of it than I would because B) it was an XL and C) it was white. I get stains on my black clothes, so white shirt + boob shelf + love of food = ruined shirt.

He told me it was too big for him, but I should keep it because it would fit me (how little did he know). And then he proceeded to say, “you know, because you’re bigger than me” (no biggie – ha – he is kind of a little guy) and I agreed with him, and then he started stumbling, thinking he said something wrong and when he tried to “fix” the situation, I stopped him and said “it’s a no win situation.”

He laughed, and I explained to him no matter what he said at this point it was going to seem like either an insult or creepy. And not because I would think it either way, but I could see the embarrassment welling up within him.

Because even though his intentions were benign, the way society works sometimes is against those who are trying to be nice. I believe he was honestly trying to compliment me (I think he actually said “you’re bigger, but it looks good on you” or something like that), but a few years ago, his statements would have made me feel terrible. And I would have harped on them for at least a day. But now, not so much. Cuz I am a big girl – DUH. Did you see my stats up there?

But it also reminded me of this woman who is on the new season of Tough Love. If you’re not familiar with Tough Love, it is a reality show where a professional matchmaker (who can also be an incredible douche) brings 8 women who have dating problems to this house for a 10-week Boot Camp. Check out the link if you want to learn about what their problems are, but I find it fascinating because I think all of us can relate to some of their behaviors, and it’s interesting to see them come to terms with them.

The person I am most interested in watching the development of is Jenna. Jenna was overweight her entire life and just recently lost a lot of weight. But she still thinks like her fat self. When she watched men talk about their interaction with her, all she picked up on was what she thought were insults. In actuality, they had great things to say about her, but she heard someone say “thick” or something to that effect, and she heard nothing else.

So she’s not fat anymore. But she’s still insecure. Big surprise, right?

And all she hears are insults, and completely missing the compliments.

I can totally relate. I just hope she learns to love herself in the process, not just find love. I’ll be watching, if and when I remember, to see what happens.

THE MANY FAT ACCEPTANCE MOVEMENTS

nycivan — 2009-11-20T07:00:57-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about my own Fat Acceptance and my own health. I have written a lot here about my journey from the self hatred endorsed by everyone around me to a gentle, accepting stance that is promoted by the Fat Acceptance concept. Yet, there does not seen to be one fat acceptance movement but many. The variety of opinions and schools of thought is a bit overwhelming. I would prefer that there was one central organization overseeing the movement and declaring what is correct and what is taboo.

As you all know, that is not the case. I have to figure out what Fat Acceptance means to me. I have to find peace with all the aspects of food, body image, stigma, prejudice, feminism, virility, health, exercise... I could go on and on.

I know that I have never ever been able to reign in my eating for any length of time, The only long term experience I had was eating pound and pounds of meat and little else for three years. The moment I started eating complex carbs, I gained all my weight back and more.

I like the way not berating myself for what I eat feels. Yet, I do experience many uncomfortable realities being the weight I am. I am working with my doctors to mitigate them, however, from where I stand, it is clear that losing weight would help almost all of them. I do not even pursue this option, because at this point, I do believe that any weight I would lose would be back on plus more in short order.

I have had a few nights now of waking up gasping for air, even with my CPAP breathing machine. I am going to call my doctor and talk about this, yet I know the best solution will be to lose weight. I also believe that trying to lose weight is a waste of time for me. I have a lifetime of evidence towards that.

Everyone I talk to about this (if I talk to anyone about this) would say something different to me about this because there is no one authority or agreed on Fat Acceptance Movement.

If there was one FA authority, I could go there and figure out what the FA appropriate next steps for the apnea should be.

I am still not sure what to so next. I cannot discuss this with my family, because their heads explode when I tell them that losing weight is not an option for me. I have a sweet therapist that does her best to understand FA but not sure where that is going. I have a few friends in FA, but I do not want to burden them.

I'll go over to the Fat Studies list and ask the brains over there about treatment options for the sleep apnea. They always have good info and are very kind to me.

I wonder, a lot, if walking the Fat Acceptance path is the right one for me. I believe it is. It is just that I am not sure which one of the many versions of the Fat Acceptance movement is going to wind up being mine. I know I like the community and the suspension of the self hatred, yet I still find myself wondering if subscribing to what I understand is set point theory, and not trying to lose weight is the right thing for me. Again, there is no one "right" course of action. The different opinions within the Fat Acceptance Community confuse me instead of help me figure out what is right for me.

I am still learning and investigating the movement. Heck, I still am only half way through Linda Bacon's book.

I am just a little scared and shell shocked about waking up gasping for breath. It's very scary.

Okay that's all for now.

below is an unrelated thread about the trauma kids are exposed to via Fat stigma... I was going to post it separately and decided to just put it at the end. They are the blog exchanges from another blog, but I wanted in here on my blog.

I commented

I am aware of my fatness as well.
One thing I find fascinating though is that I was aware of my fatness back when I was a teen as well – and was certainly made aware of it by teachers, doctors, members of my peer group, etc. Yet, looking at old photos of myself, I wasn’t anything like as fat as I thought I was – indeed I find it difficult even recognizing the person in the picture.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

someone responded to my comment
Maybe – just maybe – if people weren’t so obsessed with labeling people as “fat”, “obese” etc. we’d have a lot more people around who are both happier and healthier. Regardless of their body type.

I responded:
 i have said this exact thing as I develop my foundation in the FA movement. I am 43 years old 390. When I look at photos of myself I see a cute kid that has a few extra pounds. As a child I was taught that I was inappropriately fat and teased as XX described. forget school, and kids, just from my parents alone, who took my fat as their failure, I was bribed, weight watchered, diet doctored, fat camped, punished and have one particular painful memory of my father dragging a 11 year old me out of bed at 6am to force me to do jumping jacks and because my effort wasn’t enthusiastic enough, he viciously called me a fat horse, walked away and didn’t speak to me for 2 days. Today I wonder, (and hope for todays fat kids) that if I was nurtured to be the best, healthiest, me I could be as a boy if I would weigh less than I do today. Even if it would not have made a difference in my body, I sure would have loved to take a pass on the three decades of self hate and sense of unworthiness that was my inner life until I found the FA/HAES community.   

Someone replied -- I’m so sorry these things happened to you, and even sorrier that your experiences are not unusual.

I responded....

 “and even sorrier that your experiences are not unusual”  sniper, when i first got here i was like, wow these FA activist are an angry bunch, but now I feel compelled to contribute & to do what I can to help bring on the change that will make experiences like these unusual. I know I am still a zygote in the FA world, but this is the world I am moving to… it beats the crap out of the world I grew up in.   Awww, crap,

Someone replied,

Ivan, I’m sorry. I’ll tell you, FA is good for me now – but more importantly, I don’t want to participate in a world that continues to do that sort of harm to kids. 

I responded

• ivan Posted November 20, 2009 at 8:55 am | Permalink “I don’t want to participate in a world that continues to do that sort of harm to kids.”  XXXXX, I think that although painful, participation in the world that does this sort of harm to kids in necessary if I am going to effect any change in that world. It is difficult to consider participating (let alone moving around easily) in that world as a 390 lb man, however, if I believe that our culture’s hatred of fat people is wrong, I need to stand up against it even if it hurts my knees to stand up for a long time.

Quick Link: Not Screwing Up Your Kids

spoonfork38 — 2009-11-20T06:25:05-08:00

One of my favorite blogs, Living~400lbs, did a wonderful post yesterday about a recent article in Oprah’s magazine. If you’re raising kids, you might want to check it out. Actually, if you come into contact with kids at all, you should check it out. The road to hell is paved with misguided intentions, people . . . And [...]

Street Fashion

mo pie — 2009-11-20T06:23:39-08:00

When I used to work in San Francisco, I’d often notice fat chicks who were dressed awesomely. I was always tempted to to take their pictures, to ask them where they bought what they were wearing, and to copy their looks if I possibly could. I never did any of those things, so I’m really glad we have The Manfattan Project (pictures of streetwear in New York City) and Saks In The City’s Curvy Street Style (Paris).

It’s like Fatshionista out in the wild! And it’s awesome. It’s thanks to blogs like this that I now own bright green tights, although I might not have the hang of it yet.

Via Corpulent!

Quick Hit: stop picking on fat people

Bri — 2009-11-20T02:33:21-08:00

The rotund make the world go round…

Make the world go round… get it?

*snigger*

weblog awards nominations - aw shucks…

Bri — 2009-11-20T02:17:20-08:00

Some lovely person has nominated me and Fat Lot of Good in several categories of the 2009 Weblog awards.

If you would like to see Fat Lot of Good make the finals, please scroll through the nominations in the following categories until you find FLOG or my name (Bri King) and click on the little + sign next to the name of the person who nominated me.

The categories FLOG has been nominated in are:

Best Individual Blogger

Best Blog

Best Medical/Health Issues Blog

Best Blog Design

Best Australian or New Zealand Blog

Best Small Blog

Personally I would love to see FWD/Forward and/or Chally (from FWD/Forward, Zero at the Bone and Feministe) get to the finals in her/their categories (which I think are Best Blog, Best Blogger, Best Medical/Health Issues Blog) and also Tiff from My Three Ring Circus (in Best Parenting Blog and Best Photography blog from memory) in her categories and I have voted for/nominated both of them!

Nominations close Sunday (US time) so please get in there and vote for the blogs and bloggers you want to see in the finals!

Paper Chase Guy —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-19T21:40:00-08:00

Thankful Thursday

living400lbs — 2009-11-19T23:49:54-08:00

(Yes, starting these weekly exercises in gratitude again — just under the wire :) 1) I took a Vacation. My first full week off in over a year. Even though I’m still limping. Woohoo! 2) I’m adjusting to using a cane as needed, and discovering I don’t get more looks than usual with it. 3) …already blogged, [...]

WSJ on Fat People: Many Greats in History

bigliberty — 2009-11-19T18:09:19-08:00

I have a few other feeds that I maintain, one which is a news feed. I’m very used to my news feed having little to do with fat in it (though when it does appear, it’s reasonably positive). But a Wall Street Journal piece poking fun at people who demonize fatties? It sounded too good to be true, but here it is:

Stop Picking on History: Throughout history the rotund have made the world go ’round

There are definitely problems with this piece, which reduce to the usual scienterrific myths about fatness. However — and I can’t stress how important this point is — is that the author, even accepting those myths, is telling people in a clever, funny way that picking on fat people is stupid and counterproductive. And he holds up a lot of great examples of fat leaders and artists — I have to say that, overall, it’s a very positive piece.

Because when it comes down to it, people can believe whatever they want about our health, but that shouldn’t have anything to do with how we’re treated. That’s what Queenan is going for: we’re respectable, hardworking, creative members of society that have done (and will do) great things. The idea that health has been braided into our moral fabric to such a degree is, in Queenan’s eyes (and rightly so), absurd.

What do you think?

Fatty Roll —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-19T14:14:00-08:00

Weird Science —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-19T14:03:00-08:00

Slip Up

gabrielle.gregg@gmail.com (Gabi) — 2009-11-19T12:55:00-08:00

I love the idea of wearing undergarments as everyday wear, so today I thought I'd rock a slip as a dress. I originally bought the red blazer when I planned on dressing up as Michael Jackson for Halloween. Since I didn't end up using it, I decided to chop off the bottom and wear it as a cropped jacket (it was pretty hideous before).

Slip-TJMaxx/Blazer-Thrifted/Wedges-Zinc/Accessories-F21

For another amazing outfit, check out J in her ASOS cage dress !

156 / torrid's new lookbook: true romance

(author unknown) — 2009-11-19T11:47:00-08:00

This morning Torrid released the lookbook images from their latest collection True Romance, said to be full of romantic silhouettes and lots of lace. I was pleasantly surpised that instead of just releasing the collection on the site, this time they’ve put together 10 outfits featuring items in the collection to help give you ideas on ways to wear them. I’m always open to things like that plus I love seeing plus models work it for the camera.

I see that Torrid is stepping up their game in terms of the styling and marketing of their clothes. While many people still have issues with the quality of some pieces, its important to at least style them so that people feel like they NEED them when they see them. That’s what these images accomplish because the first outfit below is definitely my favorite. I actually just purchased that dress and vest (which i want to stud) over the weekend in their big online sale. Oh and I bought the sequin leggings but have yet to wear them! See the rest of the lookbook here!

What do you all think? Do these images pique your interest and make you want to purchase the clothes? Oh and from today (11/19) through Sunday (11/22), get $25 off your purchase of $100, both in-store and online. Use checkout code HOL25OFF100.

Links a La Mode: 11.19 Food for Thought

Marie Denee — 2009-11-19T10:30:37-08:00

Food for Thought Edited by Ashe Mischief This is my first time editing since I wrote Good Cop/Bad Cop: Participating in Links a la Mode. Thank you all so much for making this my most pleasurable...

Continued at The Curvy Fashionista

Diet Diet Diet —

noreply@blogger.com (Atchka!) — 2009-11-19T10:53:00-08:00

The Resort Season

Marie Denee — 2009-11-19T09:44:31-08:00

Are you familiar with Resort Wear? Ever wonder why in the middle of Winter, you see all types of beachwear, linens, and long flowy Caftans? That is because Resort wear in the winter is created for...

Continued at The Curvy Fashionista

Taking the diet out of “diet foods”

Rachel — 2009-11-19T08:15:10-08:00

I'm sitting at my favorite local indie coffeehouse staring at a large plate of cottage cheese and fresh fruit atop a bed of leafy greens paired with a side of steaming spiced apples and wishing I had my camera because the presentation is as much artistic as it is yummy. That its menu is vegetarian-friendly is one of the reasons why I love this coffeehouse so much, but despite its array of veggie offerings, I sometimes find myself craving the delicious synergy of pineapple and large curd cottage cheese. Cottage cheese has gotten a bum rap in the past few decades. For too many, its pebblelike curds suspended in a milky mixture conjures up images of diet food or maybe food for the old and senile. There's even a cottage cheese fad diet that guarantees weight loss if you only eat it straight for one week. I always find the association of cottage cheese as diet food a bit amusing considering that during my eating disorder days, I decided it way too high-cal to eat and labeled it a "bad" food. Salad, another diet food dismissal and a personal favorite, also seems to get no respect. As I sit here alternating between typing and downing forkfuls of cheese curds, I wonder about other foods considered to be worthy of consumption only when in the pursuit of weight loss. Are there any "diet foods" that you like and have reclaimed as part of your non-diet diet?

When Other People Pay For It, They Can Claim the Right to Control It

bigliberty — 2009-11-19T07:30:32-08:00

I’ve said this several times before, but it bears repeating: when other people can make a reasonable argument that they are paying for the choices you make about your body (even if those choices are only perceived choices), then they can claim the right to have a say in your choices.

Take the furor over the Stupak amendment to the recently passed House healthcare bill. I was walking through Harvard Square last afternoon on my way to my weekly voice lesson, and there were congregated at the mouth of the stairs to the station a group of protesters, who desired to get the Stupak language stricken from the (potentially) reconciled House and Senate bill.

I didn’t stop; I’m rather used to Harvard Square protesters. Let’s just say they’re not a particularly rare occurrence.

But I couldn’t help shaking my head and thinking, as I descended the stairs into the station, how those pro-choice, body-freedom people on the left are finally discovering that the greatest threat to their personal choices and freedoms isn’t some corporation or private entity, but widespread government control.

I’ve long heard fauxgressives waxing philosophical about how greater government control at the federal level would loose certain states from fascist, body-controlling regimes. They claim that those who don’t want to use taxpayer dollars to subsidize abortions in some way are the extreme fringe social conservatives, who I agree are fairly nuts. But this goes way deeper than that. The abortion debate has never really been about fending off nutty social conservatives, in my opinion. And it’s not just about abortion as a choice; it’s a symbol for the much greater question of government control vs. body autonomy.

That question is at the center of the debate on government’s role in healthcare.

The Stupak amendment clearly illustrates that with few votes to pass it, late at night on a Saturday when most people aren’t watching C-SPAN (though I was, dammit), a large swath of your freedom can be subverted. And though the Stupak amendment didn’t go as far as banning abortion outright, it did quite plainly single out a behavior that was unpopular and discriminate against it.

In the free market, if there’s demand, there’s availability. In a controlled market, there’s a hell of a lot more white noise between demand and supply. It’s not enough that you and your neighborhood wants it, your representative has to want it, too. And then he’s got to be powerful enough that he can band up with other reps, who need to be part of a majority in the country. And that’s assuming that your reps are listening to you at all, and you’re not a lonely city in a gerrymandered district that is locked into political representation with which you fundamentally disagree.

In a free market, if you buy a boat and never use it, and you have a mariner neighbor who would love a boat but can’t afford one for whatever reason, that neighbor can’t blame you for his lack of a boat. However, in a system controlled by the government, there’s a single pie. If you take a bigger piece, you’re necessarily taking from somebody. So your mariner neighbor could claim that you did, in fact, diminish his ability to buy a boat. He might then be in favor of a law which only allows boats to be sold to mariners, since that would be his only recourse. In a free market, next season you might find out that they replaced expensive parts with less expensive parts, and turned out a model of boat that was more affordable, because they realized there was an untapped market for cheaper boats. Everyone wins.

In a free market, if I ruin my health due to various behaviors, my neighbor has no stake in it. If I get an abortion, it doesn’t affect my neighbor at all. If I eat ten steak-and-donut sandwiches a day and suck down more opium than oxygen, it doesn’t make a single bit of financial difference to my neighbor.*

The point of all of this is, those of you who really believe that giving government greater control over healthcare is going to give you more freedom over your body and health choices can take the Stupak amendment as a warning shot. And if you think they’re not going to come for the fatties next or soon, you’re dreaming. As soon as costs rise (and the projected healthcare spending as a percentage of GDP will rise if the current bills on the table pass), and people are getting taxed at higher rates, fined for not having acceptable coverage, or even thrown in prison with up to a fine of $250,000 for not having acceptable coverage, they’re going to clamor that costs can be forced down by regulating the behavior of those with perceived preventable conditions.

Healthcare reform isn’t a fantasy; there are real reforms that can be made which would make buying plans cheaper, give greater access, and yes, even help cover those who have slipped through the cracks, without shackling citizens to some bureaucracy with the threat of imprisonment if they don’t comply (though there’s certainly a larger Constitutional question in all that). But what’s being put forward by Reid and Pelosi isn’t healthcare reform. It’s a giant grab for power and a threat to your freedom to choose.

REFERENCES**

My Body, Their Choice – Reason.com

House Bill Increases Healthcare Costs – Politico.com

Listing the New Taxes in the Senate Healthcare Bill – Wall Street Journal

Mandatory Insurance is Unconstitutional – Wall Street Journal

Stupak Amendment Threatens the Rights of Every American – The Huffington Post

Rationing’s First Step – Investor’s Business Daily

* Those who assume the insurance system we have now is a free market system are way off the mark, so arguments about the current state of insurance risk-pooling are irrelevant. Additionally, the argument that the uninsured rack up hospital costs for the rest of us ignores that emergency rooms are required to treat those who can’t pay, which is government, not market, intervention.

** Please do not poison the well.

Kate Moss: nothing tastes as foul as media stereotypes and diet industry lies

Charlotte Cooper — 2009-11-19T09:17:21-08:00

Dear Kate Moss,

Everyone's up in arms because of a news report that's doing the rounds. In this report you are supposed to have said: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". Someone on my Facebook feed called you a cunt, but they've never met you, how would they know what you're like?

I think 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' is an asinine expression, it's beyond moronic, but the anger being directed at you for allegedly saying it is misplaced. It's a well-known slogan that was popularised years ago by diet companies such as Weight Watchers. These companies turned into global multinationals that profit massively from instilling and maintaining body hatred, sometimes through slogans just like this. It is them that people should be enraged with, not you.

I think people should also get angrier with the media. There are, to my mind rather facile, arguments about 'negative images' or 'Size Zero' or 'media bombardment' but little concern about the extent to which the media propagates lies. Maybe no-one could believe that lying could take place on such a scale, or that what they believe to be true is actually nothing of the kind.

I know that the papers lie about you. You're there, a massive cultural icon, but you rarely say anything in public so they have to make up things about you to put in their paper, which your body and mythology helps sell for them. I saw this happen at the Evans launch last summer. What I saw was not what was reported, stupid things, like the song you sang and the people you sang with, were reported differently.

So there are lies, and there are also clichés and stereotypes. These are the bread and butter of the popular media. They are well-worn things that people can recognise easily. Many journalists use clichés and stereotypes as a basis for a story. There are many clichés about you, and about modelling and also about fashion, the worlds you know best. Sometimes there is some truth to a claim, but a cliché or a stereotype is not a truth at all. The papers try and force clichés on things that are much too complicated to be reduced in that way because they are unable to deal with human complexity or nuance, or subtlety.

One cliché that has attached itself to you over the years is that because you are skinny you must hate fatness. Skinny must hate fat. This is not true, it is a pernicious and destructive lie. The papers deal in clichés, but you are not a cliché, what you are perceived to represent is not what or who you are.

I know that you championed Beth D and helped get her a fashion deal, that is pro-fat, even though the press tried to pitch you against her as fat vs skinny enemies. You did donut hands with me at Beth's party and told me I looked amazing. That is pro-fat. You posed for pictures with my big fat mannish dyke of a girlfriend, you did Blue Steel with her! That is pro-fat, and beautiful. I know you don't hate fat people because I have seen you digging us and I have enough of a radar to know when people's tolerance of me and my kind is false. I met you in queer fat space and I know you loved it and were at home there. I don't know what was said and how it came to be reported as it did, but I know you do not hate fat people, I know you are a friend to us, and I know you can see coolness and amazingness in all kinds of body shapes.

Ten years ago, when my book Fat & Proud was published, a journalist asked me what I thought of you. They were trying to get me to agree with the popular line at the time that Heroin Chic was a bad deal and that it was evidence that you hated fat people and were therefore my enemy. But the thing is, I love those pictures! The journalist tried to make out that Dawn French, the only fat celebrity at the time, would be my preferred role model, but that wasn't true and I said I'd choose you over her if I had to. Fat people don't hate skinny people either.

You work in an industry that hates a lot of things, including fatness, and ageing, which you yourself are now feeling the brunt of even though you're young. I hope your friend Anita Pallenberg, an amazing role model for getting older, is coaching you through this, and I hope Beth is on the phone to you too.

Yours,

Charlotte

Toys Toys Toys

Sylvia — 2009-11-19T07:13:09-08:00

by sylvia

Ok, so you may have picked up that I LOVE cartoons. I watch them all the time. But the side effect of watching cartoons aimed at children is having to sit through the repeated, painfully annoying commercials. I know, poor me. Boo hoo.

Don’t get me wrong – I love toys and cute and robots and junk, but some of these toys I just don’t get. Sure, I’m not the demographic they’re advertising to, but I could be a consumer one day, if I ever have any kids (we’re working on it!) or any of my nieces and nephews have any children anytime soon (which I hope to God doesn’t happen, as the oldest one is 19).

But, if you can, please explain these to me and whether or not they appeal to you or any kids you know (and just for the record, I’m not shilling for Toys R Us, it was just the most central place to find all these gems):

Baby Alive Real Surprises Doll - WTF? Seriously. I was a little girl once and can’t imagine being interested in a doll in which I have to clean up its ‘real surprises’, aka POOP. The recommended age is 3-6 years, so there goes my theory that it could be used a potty training device (’see how gross it is to clean your diaper, sweetie? now get to using the damn toilet!’). And it’s $39.99, y’all. I’m sure parents can find something that poops for less money.
And since we’re on the topic of baby dolls, this one freaks the fudge outta me: Little Mommy Walk & Giggle Doll - ok, the toy at first glance isn’t horrible, except that it is your standard blonde haired caucasian doll (no other ethnic options), but have you seen the damn thing in action?

Umm….the hair is bad enough, but WTF on every thing else. In the actual commercial, it was just her voice that freaked me out, but now that I’ve seen her in action without all the glamorous lighting of Hollywood, it’s easy to see how scary she is. And sweetie? You’re not sleepy – it’s called a concussion. Oh, and did you catch the price tag? 70 mothafuckin’ dollars

To continue the trend, how about these monsters? If you read my post referencing the Cabbage Patch Kids, then you know I am not a fan, and do have some childhood pain associated with them. But these are especially horrendous. I think what bothers me most is the commercial (sorry, I couldn’t find it anywhere to show you), where they are showing off the product by the girls “popping” (shoving) these “hair extensions” into the Cabbage Patch Kids’ heads. So really, when you think about it, I should actually quite like this toy!
Bendaroos - ok, I just don’t get these. From the commercial, it looks like you would need many many MANY additional Bendaroos to actually do the things with the Bendaroos they show in the commercial. Plus, it does not appear to be that fun. And the commercial where the kid from Iowa gets all excited about all the crazy things he did with his Bendaroos makes me never EVER want to visit Iowa (sorry if I offend thou). I asked Bianca’s Zeta about it once, as she seems to be the age of the kids in the commercial, and she said they looked like fun. Like mother, like daughter, I guess (zing! burn…)
Next up are the potential choking threats that are ChixOs! So basically, if you don’t know what ChixOs! are, I’m not sure how much I can tell you. You have a WIDE VARIETY of tops! bottoms! feet! heads! to choose from, you stick them together, spray them with water and then they take a “glitter shower” (which sounds kinda dirty, but totally what me and Bianca are going to be doing for our Holiday Party, but also sounds really awesome), and then that’s kind of it. You have all of these selections to choose from, but once you spray them with water and glitter, you’re shit out of luck. You can’t change their clothes or shoes, you just have to create MORE CHIXOS! Yes, of course, that’s a great “marketing” move, but the little girl in me would rather get a damn 9″ ‘Fashion Doll’ from the dollar store, because I could at least change her clothes once in a while. But wait! Did you know that you can CREATE things for your ChixOs! by using PixOs!? PixOs are the “safe version” of “Aqua Dots“, for those of you not in the know about children’s toys. Just sayin’

I’m just glad “Bratz” Dolls are not around anymore. I couldn’t be subjected to any more of those big heads, pouty overinflated lips and skank outfits. But now we have all these girls’ dolls with “self-esteem” and junk. Case in point:

Best Friends Club - Will you choose the 11″ doll or the 19″ doll? Either way, her freakishly large head will creep you out and keep you up at night
Liv Fashion Dolls - More big heads! And wigs! It’s Kim Zolciak, y’all, of Housewives of Atlanta Fame! Don’t be tardy for this party! (sorry, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to get that song in somewhere, anywhere)
Moxie Girlz – yet another big headed doll with a wig – let’s paint on our clothes and have a sleepover!

And as I was writing this list, I realized there wasn’t anything on there that was stereotypically ”for boys” – trucks, race car sets, action figures, dinosaurs, etc. Of course, I may be a little biased, as those are things I play with now, but still….why is that?

So I started thinking about the toys I LOVED growing up. I had a lot of hand me down toys, but I think the things I loved were the things that were MINE. For example:

Kenner Tree Tots Tree House - hands down, my absolute favorite toy EVER. One of my fondest memories of my childhood.

I’m actually getting a little emotional thinking about it right now. I can’t even describe to you how much I loved this thing. And not just now, as a bit of nostalgia. I played with this thing for years. I’m not sure why I stopped playing with it, to tell you the truth. Perhaps my mom packed it away when she packed away all my favorite clothes I was hanging on to that were several sizes too small (red velour shirt with strawberries on it, anyone?). But it resurfaced later, and my sister took it for her kids. With my permission, of course (sorta). In retrospect, a bad idea. They lost most of the parts, and then my sister got rid of it. I was able to keep the dad and the daughter, and many many years later, my sister found the dog. Ugh, seriously, I need to stop writing about it. It’s starting to break my heart! Anybody got about $250 I can blow on this on eBay? Thanks. Youns guys is awesome.

Fisher Price Woodsey Log House - in looking for this, I found that there were other “Woodsey” toys I could have been playing with as well (had my parents not loved me enough to buy them for me)?!?!? But it doesn’t matter. I loved me this Woodsey Log House.

Maybe it was the squirrels that squeaked when you squeezed ‘em (you could stick your fingers into their arms, a la puppet-style). Or the rubbery fake-wood furniture. Or the detail on the inside of the house. Or the fact that everything fit inside and you could carry it around. Damn, I loved that thing. But alas, it was yet another toy my sister’s kids “inherited” and then destroyed or got rid of. Oh well.

And it pains me that I cannot come up with another toy from my childhood that I cherished! In restrospect, I guess that could be looked at as a good thing.

So, do tell – are there any toys out now that you HATE or downright creep you out? How about toys from your childhood? Inquiring mind(s) want to know!

Oprah Mag printed the words “fat acceptance”

living400lbs — 2009-11-19T05:00:53-08:00

Yeah, I’m kind of in shock too. It’s in the December 2009 issue. The Fat Fight in the “Connections” section, by Robin Marantz Henig and Jess Zimmerman. Actually it’s a pair of articles: the first is by the mother, Henig; the second is by the daughter, Zimmerman. Henig discusses how she tried to be “supportive” of [...]

Chaka at Evans

gabrielle.gregg@gmail.com (Gabi) — 2009-11-19T02:56:00-08:00

Chaka Khan may not be young, but she is definitely fat and fabulous. She has recently teamed up with Evans, and I am surprisingly happy with the result. The looks are youthful and fresh (though admittedly not very innovative), and Chaka has never looked better. Most importantly, do you see those amazing wide width over the knee boots? The search is over, ladies. Must. Have.

Shop these looks!
(Evans is also having a sale! 20% off partywear and lingerie!)

Edit: The boots are now sold out in most sizes. I guess I wasn't the only one who thought they were amazing (they just debuted this morning)! Hopefully Evans will restock soon.

Layers of Personality

spoonfork38 — 2009-11-19T04:25:57-08:00

A while ago, I pared down my wardrobe to the absolute limit—meaning that if I sent any more clothes to the consignment shop, I would have to do laundry more than twice a week or take casual day at work to its embarrassing extreme. My hope was to fill my empty closet with clothes that made a statement [...]

Adipositivity 328

The Adipositivity Project — 2009-11-18T17:07:34-08:00

Adipose: Of or relating to fat. Positivity: Characterized by or displaying acceptance or affirmation. MISSION: The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that's normally unseen. The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally. The photographs here are close details of the fat female form, without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they're looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance. The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you've clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends. This is what they look like with their clothes off. Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal. Bookmark adipositivity.com and check back often, as new photographs are added regularly(ish). And please help spread the message. The Adipositivity Project: Changing attitudes about the aesthetic validity of big women, one fat fanny at a time. ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER: Substantia Jones’ photography has been exhibited in galleries and museums throughout the US East Coast, and has appeared in The New York Times, Time Out New York, and some other publications she can’t recall at this time, but you probably haven’t heard of them anyway. She is biographied in the 2006 Who’s Who in America (though under the name her momma gave her), and back in the day, she won some photography awards which would sound somewhat Mayberry if listed here, but at the time, they damn near made her cry. Still kinda do. She lives in Manhattan, where she also sometimes steps out (more like lays around) in front of the camera, and on some of those occasions, the snapping is done by her trusty sidekick, Dr. H, who also fetches her banana popsicles and maintains her muse, a certain pancake colored dog who’s asked that his name not be mentioned on the Internet. Ms. Jones likes crispy calamari, Squidbillies, and the ika okonomiyaki from Otafuku in the East Village, if only the lines weren’t so long. ANNOUNCING: TAP Shop is now open! To mark the first 100 Adipositivity Project images and to answer those who've asked for T-shirts, calendars, and posters, a CafePress shop has been set up with the requested items, as well as mugs, bumper stickers, mousepads and greeting cards. Yeah. Went a little crazy there. So go get your merch on! Visit TAP Shop Thou shalt not reproduce without permission. Except for babies. Make all o' them you want. © The Adipositivity Project 2007-2009

Caged Up

(author unknown) — 2009-11-18T20:50:00-08:00

I love this cage dress—the sheerness of the skirt, the structure of the cage, and the beautiful lines. I think that cage dresses and other garments that can be considered intimate-wear-as-outerwear make a thoughtful statement in addition to being pretty. The form of the dress becomes the focal point. Xtina has a great post on this too! This is definitely a head turning dress and a great way to wear this trend. Anyway, here are a few ways I tried wearing it. Tell me what you think. Thanks for reading! Special hello to my new readers!

Asos dress, Dries Van Noten heels, Spanx tights, Evans jacket

Women I Love: Beth Ditto

Frances — 2009-11-18T20:00:45-08:00

I know, I know, I know. Every fat woman in the world loves Beth Ditto. But my love for her is still quite new, so I’m still very much in the honeymoon stage. Therefore, she gets a mention on my very exclusive, very prestigious, Women I Love section.

What I love more than anything – more than her brilliant songs with The Gossip, more than the line she did with Evans – is that she’s a chameleon.

She displays her body like it’s an artwork:

Modelling for House of Blue Eyes, September 2008

The Gossip performing at London’s Forum, 13 September 2007

At the 2007 NME Awards

She can be a fierce couture bish:

Love magazine, March 2009

At the 2009 Mercury Music Awards, London

Photo by Alice Hawkins

BlackBook by Shawn Mortensen, May 2009

She’s friends with Jeremy Scott and looks great in his dresses (for this, I will be forever jealous):

via Jeremy Scott's Twicpic account

At the JC de Castelbajac Fashion Show during the 2009 Paris Fashion Week

Photo by zerbit on flickr

NYLON magazine, May (…or June) 2008

And she looks like she’s the sweetest girl in the world:

At the Love magazine launch, December 2008

LOVE YOU, BETH.