Notes from the Pacific Northwest

No One's Normal

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Fri, 02 Nov 2018 05:42:00 +0000

I'm having a lot of BIG feelings today... mainly about this little guy, who is not this little anymore.

I chose this picture because it's one of my all-time favorites of him. In this picture, we were at the zoo and he was about 18 months old. He had some quirks then but no big red flags to tell us what the future would hold.

Fast forward two years and, after a difficult journey with four different clinicians, he was diagnosed with Austim. It was a word I had been praying would not be part of our family. I was scared of that word. It was a bad word in my mind, because I thought it meant he was broken. Each year after his diagnosis, when Autism Awareness Month would roll around, I pretended like it didn't apply to us. I guess I was in denial.

According to the site, Autism Speaks, Autism, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD), refers to a broad range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. Both genetics and environment play into the development of the disorder, and 1 in 59 children are affected by it.

Benj's particular diagnosis, formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome, is a subset of ASD. This type of high-functioning autism is a blessing and a curse for him. He has so "little" autism, most people don't even notice or realized he is autistic. Sometimes Dave and I even forget that he has it, as we interact with him. But because he seems so normal, it makes it hard to understand when he encounters an issue - and how he reacts to it. His biggest challenges are understanding nuanced language or nonverbal communication, sensitivity to light, tastes and sounds, sudden changes in schedules, and at times, he suffers from anxiety and depression.

There is no hard and fast rule or handbook about when & how you should tell your kid he has Autism. I promise, because I looked it up. Basically, everything I read said you should tell them when they're ready. In the past, I tried to dodge the discussion, mainly because I didn't know how to bring it up and how he'd handle it. I didn't know what 'ready' was for him - until tonight.

His school does an amazing job of teaching kids about Autism. It's one of two schools in the district to house an Autism program, so all of the teachers receive special training. And all of the kids receive education each year so that they can understand the kids in their classes that struggle with it.

Two weeks ago, the Autism specialist gave a presentation about Autism to his class. It's an awesome and sweet animated explanation of Autism, called "Amazing Things Happen". The big idea is that we are all different. After watching the video, Ben told the teacher he thought there was autism in his family; he said, "I think my sister has it. My mom too! Maybe even I have it."

Tonight, he had a pretty massive meltdown because I told him he had to do homework before he could play video games. This is not an uncommon issue in our house, but tonight's reaction was particularly bad. He threw a bunch of things, tried kicking me, and actually slapped me. The last was the final straw; he was swiftly sent to his room to cool off. When he came down 10 minutes later, he apologized, hugged me and then, simply asked, "Do I have autism?".

Dave and I were planning to sit down together and talk with him, but when Ben asked, I knew I couldn't lie or skirt the issue anymore.

We sat down on the couch and I grabbed a very soft throw blanket to snuggle with him, and we talked. It was actually a pretty good conversation. He had questions, which I answered as best I could. His eyes started to well with tears, until I mentioned that kids with Autism have super powers - many of them are super good at math or computer programming. He wiped away his tears, and his eyes got really big. And then he asked, "What do you think my super power is? Do you think it's reading or maybe soccer?". I told him I didn't know, but I said we'd find out soon enough.

And he was totally ok with that.

Ruminations on A Blustery Day

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 04:27:00 +0000

Today I went for a walk.

I've had a lot on my mind, and I figured the combo of some fresh air and exercise would do wonders for my psyche.

Last year, I got laid off from my job. A job I loved, I might add. I'd been there for exactly 9 years, the month the layoff occurred.

For the last sixteen months, I have had a tough time managing this turn of events; it's been so much harder than I could have imagined. Nine years is a long time to be at one workplace, and losing that job and my career was a big blow. I have been uncharacteristically emotional because, let's be honest, a loss of this magnitude is equal parts scary and sad. If I am being brutally honest with myself, I've been depressed. For sixteen months. That's a long time to be sad.

And yet, there is always hope in what lies ahead. When there's nothing else, there is always hope. I'm trying to get that mantra running through my head and to make it stick.

So, I've wandered around trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. A few days ago, I had a little mental breakdown and Dave gave me a simple, yet valuable suggestion. He said "go and do some things you love". And I remembered this little blog of mine. It's been years since I was blogging consistently, and I think it's time to get back to it.

I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, but I've always had this feeling that my skills were fairly mediocre. When I was in sixth grade, I won a place in a Seattle youth writer's workshop - by default. The winner from my school couldn't go, so I was the alternate. The back-up plan. It didn't feel great to be the back-up plan, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless.

Well, I have hope now - hope in back-up plans. I just have to figure out what my back-up plan is... maybe it's writing, maybe not. But, I do think I have some important things to say; if nothing else, they're important to me. And hopefully, my writing will be a little better than mediocre this time around (fingers crossed).

Things I'm Loving in February

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Wed, 25 Feb 2015 07:52:00 +0000

Here's this month's installment of random stuff I've been digging lately:

barkTHINS

I've never been a huge dark-chocolate fan; typically, I'd choose milk over dark any day of the week. Then, I stumbled on this stuff in the Organic section at Fred Meyer (also at Costco). Wowza. This stuff is SO good. Addictive, but good!

Pastel Mustaches

I'm not sure what I'm going to make with this fabric, but I just had to grab the remainder of the bolt when I was at JoAnn's. Em may be sporting a new spring dress with this sweet, quirky design soon!

Polka-dot Sweaters

I'm kind of in love with this sweater. Like the colors. Adore the polka dots. And I might have just bought it... at 70% OFF. Cute clothes that are dirt-cheap? Doesn't get much better than that.

Patagonia

Most people dream of vacations on white, sandy beaches in Hawaii or Mexico. Give me somewhere cold, rugged, with vast opportunities for adventure and filled with jaw-dropping vistas - that's my cup of tea. Who knows when we'll get to there, but someday Patagonia will be a stamp on my passport! (Photo courtesy of The Telegraph)

"What If?"

Working late one night, I came across this movie on Amazon Instant Video. I was apprehensive about a rom-com with Harry Potter as the lead, but figured I'd give it a whirl as all I really needed was some noise in the background. The movie proved to be far better than random white noise. Basically, it's a light-hearted movie with witty dialogue that weaves the story of a sweet friendship; I went back and forth on it for a bit, but in the end - I kind of dug it. (Movie poster courtesy of Imp Awards)

Birthday Week 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:07:00 +0000

I know a lot of folks hate birthdays. I get it. Getting old can stink - and the annual reminder of another year gone is just another jab that the clock is ticking by far too quickly.

But I'm not in that camp. I love birthdays. And I really LOVE Birthday Week, but not because of the normal stuff like getting presents or attention. Mainly, I do it in homage of my sister-in-law who passed away in 2008. She was the one that brought the idea to my attention - "One day is not enough, Michelle!", she said once. But also, life can be hard & mundane, so when I can find a reason to break up the monotony and let my hair down, I do it!

Some of my days below may not be filled with the biggest parties - or anything even remotely close - but that's just how it goes. When you're trying to plan seven days of fun stuff, creativity goes a long way. Without further ado, here's a look at my week long celebration o' fun:

MONDAY

With it being the first day, we kicked off the week with gobs of fun. After a doctor's appointment, the kids and I headed to the Dollar Store. I gave them each $10 to pick out something for my birthday. Our little cart was soon filled with things like bubble wands, party hats, noisemakers, plastic dinosaurs and even a magic butterfly wand that lights up in (not coincidentally, me thinks) Seahawks colors. The final touch - each kid grabbed two Mylar helium balloons; Benjamin's choice of balloons for me were one covered in basketballs, soccer balls and baseballs, and one that says, "The Party is Over Here!". Em's choices were a Minnie Mouse and one shaped like a pointing finger that reads, "You're #1!". Needless to say, my birthday is now their favorite holiday of the year!

After grabbing all the loot, we made our way to a new-to-us park in Mill Creek called Hillside Park. Besides the usual playground fun and running around, the kids loved this firetruck that wobbled wildly when you shook it. For nearly an hour, we ran around playing firemen as we put out fires at a donut factory, the forest, and Benjamin's school. Fire Chief Benjamin's favorite thing was filling the fire truck's tank with glugging gasoline while Fire Woman Emme loved changing the truck's big tires. Hearing her say "glugnut" (read: lugnut) was particularly awesome.

On our way home, we made one final pit stop at Baskin-Robbins. I think it's safe to say my birthday really is their favorite holiday of the year!

We had leftovers for dinner and then I whipped up cupcakes while Dave was doing the FHE lesson on the teachings of King Benjamin. For our FHE treat, we each decorated cupcake... well, except Emme, who just started eating hers. Decor in place, I pushed a thick, red polka-dotted candle in to the middle of mine, everyone sang 'Happy Birthday', and then the kids presented me with a huge bag, which contained all of the goodies from our trip to the Dollar Store. And as I pulled out each item, the kiddo who chose that gift for me, quickly and gleefully claimed it as their own. That was the end of our day, and it was all good.

TUESDAY
A middle-of-the-week trip to Alderwood Mall was on the slate for this day. Rather than a big shopping spree, the kids, mom & I headed over to Cafe Rio for their weekly Tasty Tuesday ($5 entree) event. My dish of choice? A Barbacoa pork salad with that glorious lime cilantro dressing. Heaven.

WEDNESDAY
I was up and down with Em most of the night; she's working hard to get over her ear infection and she's nearly there, but nighttime can still be a bit bumpy. Needless to say, I got very little sleep before I had to rush in to work that morning. To stave off the sleepy look, I whipped up my hair in a messy bun, threw on a skirt & sweater (wearing green to support Spirit Week at the hospital), then sped to work. My office mate showed up shortly after me and we got a laugh out of our matching outfits; she loved it so much, she asked someone to take our picture. Here are the Green 2-212 (our office location) twins!

So, my big birthday celebration for this day was a big, fat, magical N.A.P. in the afternoon. We did a few other things, like going on an imaginary treasure hunt and hitting up another new park, but by far, The Nap was the most luxurious thing I did all day for myself.

THURSDAY

Another glorious birthday-week day! Took the kiddos down to Lowell Park and we just ran around, having all kinds of fun in the nearly 60-degree temperatures. Slides, swings, monkey bars, climbing walls - we did everything in sight! Since we had to wait for Benj to get home from school, we were short on daylight, but it was great to play & get some fresh air!

FRIDAY
On my birthday eve, it was time to do something a little more exciting and adventurous than visiting another park (even though we love all of the amazing parks we have around here).

So, after some emergency requests for work were completed, we hopped into the car and headed south to Edmonds. Walking on to the ferry is fun and a cheap activity because kids under 6 (both of mine) are FREE. Major bonus!

Prior to grabbing ferry tickets, we stopped at Edmonds bakery. With an old-fashioned glazed, maple bar and crumb cake bar in hand, we headed to the waterfront, which was completely socked in with dense fog.

The forecast had called for that pesky fog to burn off with sun and highs in the upper 50s. As you can see from the pictures, the fog never burned off... at least not Edmonds. Thus, it wasn't quite the picturesque ferry ride I had hoped for, but it was still a fun adventure. And with the exception of the loud horn that they had to blare frequently, both kids loved the ride on the Walla Walla. Oh, and someone nabbed my crumb cake bar - seems we have a donut monster in our midst!

SATURDAY (aka: the Big Day of Birthday Fun)

After Dave and the kids were snuggled safely in their beds on Friday night, I snuck downstairs and decorated the kitchen with a bunch of leftover pink decorations from YW, such as pink cups, plates, streamers, balloons, banners & flamingo-festooned straws - we're talking LOTS of pink. It was fun to see the kids' react to the new decor - they started singing 'Happy Birthday' to me on the spot! For breakfast, I made buttermilk waffles with strawberry sauce and whipped cream, while Dave made scrambled eggs for the crew. Afterwards, we got ready for our day hike to Big 4 Ice Caves with Julie (Dave's sister) and her family, who caravanned up to the trailhead.

The hike is very kid-friendly, but icey conditions on some of the raised walk-ways, as well as the distance (~1 mile each way) made for some very tired little legs once we reached the end of the trail. Nonetheless, a jaunt on the pieces of broken glaciated ice and a few cups of semi-hot chocolate later, all kiddos were in good spirits again. Benjamin particularly enjoyed the Ice Caves; he was more interested in glissading down the ice rather than partaking in the hot chocolate. All in all, it was a really fun morning!

And lest you think the celebrations were over, that night we headed to a Pre-Super Bowl dinner party at the home of our good friends, the Watsons. She also invited the Lublins and Manivanhs; they are good friends too and we all used to be in the same ward a few years ago.

One of the reason Linda and I are friends is because we both like to do a party up right! And this one was NO exception. Seriously. Besides the fabulous dinner and awesome Seahawks decor that was hanging from every nook and cranny, she also made me a personalized birthday banner! But anyone that knows Linda knows that's what she's all about. :)

We started with green salads and taco soup for dinner, complete with all of the standard mix-ins. And Linda's taco soup is one of my personal favorites. We also had a bunch of appetizers and a whole sea of Skittles scattered across the table and in candy jars throughout the room. Good food and awesome company.

Following dinner, we played a bunch of football-themed games including paper football, a puzzle race, and "Face the Cookie". There was a lot of laughter and some serious game-playing going on. We wrapped up the evening with 12th Man cupcakes and a rousing version of 'Happy Birthday' - and oh, I got a tiara! Kudos to Linda (& Mark) for hosting yet another absolutely fabulous party!!

SUNDAY
Trying on mommy's tiara was the first order of the day. While the kiddos were eating, I started the first steps of making my cake. Then I found myself racing around, hunting down things and getting ready for church. I really need to be better organized (and get some better time management) for Sunday mornings. Anyway....

Because Emme got to bed so late, she actually fell asleep on the way to church, which NEVER happens. But I was so thankful that she not only fell asleep, but stayed asleep for the entirety of sacrament meeting. Sometimes I really miss holding our babies, so it was pure bliss to snuggle with her for a whole hour - not to mention I got to hear all of the testimonies. Nursery was a bit of madness, but that was not entirely unexpected; these little guys are really struggling with the new 1-4pm block. With all of the crying, tantrums and general crankiness of nap-deprived toddlers, I often feel like I've done 2 hours of cardio by the time we stumble to our car. But the kids are awesome and can be so funny, so it's worth it in the end.

After we got home, Dave and the kids headed upstairs to watch the game while I finished up the Ding Dong cake. I have never worked with ganache before, so my batch turned out a bit too thick - who knew that adding too much chocolate could be a bad thing? In the end, the cake looked a little messy with the thick, gloopy ganache but otherwise it was pretty good. Unfortunately, I didn't care for the finished product . The cake was dry, which is the worst cake offense (in my opinion) and the filling didn't taste like I hoped. Nonetheless, it was fun to experiment with something I had never made before, so from that perspective I was glad I did it.

After finishing off the cake, I headed back upstairs with all of our appetizers, including pico de gallo, Juanitas tortilla chips, Cheetos and green grapes. It was not the most healthy or well-rounded dinner ever, but the kids totally chowed down on all of our Super Bowl goodies with wild abandon. And when it comes down to it, good food and awesome family/friends are what celebrating is all about, right?!

During halftime, Dave's brother's wife Aubri showed up to watch the game and just hang out; it was fun to have company as we cheered on our beloved Seahawks and the kids absolutely love her. Sadly, the game didn't turn out as we had hoped, but we've learned from past experience that the game isn't over until it's over. But, it was a fun evening and we capped off this last day of my Birthday Celebration Week with one last hurrah of cake and ice cream.

And with that, another year of Birthday Week Celebration is over! See ya next time...

Life in Pictures - January 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 22:27:00 +0000

pictorial essay

Because life moves far too swiftly for me to keep up on blogging every moment and breath we take, here's a quick glimpse of our month via a collage from my iPhone camera roll.

Things I'm Loving

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 00:35:00 +0000

In honor of this being my 500th post - woohoo! - here's a totally random list of stuff I'm digging right now:

B. Kershisnik - "She Will Find What Is Lost" (Lithograph)

I saw this piece on someone's Instagram this week and immediately fell in love. Art is such a powerful vehicle for emotion and this particular print is no exception. This image of angelic help being given to a woman evoked such a sense of peace and comfort in me, it nearly brought me to tears.

Super-Fast & Easy Mayonaise

Word has it that this is the best homemade mayo recipe in all the land. I'm totally going to try it, as it sounds fabulous, as well as easy. And it's Whole30-compliant, for anyone that's knee-deep in the world of Paleo. Recipe courtesy of Foolproof Homemade.

Heart Pillow Craft

I LOVE THIS PILLOW COVER. It's simple, but classic so we could technically keep it around all year, not just for Valentine's Day. In all of the free time I have (bahaha), I'm going to make this. Photo & idea courtesy of UCreate.

Cool Name, Fabulous Skirt

Has anyone else seen this crazy, gorgeous skirt from Shabby Apple? The Waltzing Matilda: you are adorable, you are covered in polka-dots, you have the sweetest name, you will be mine... someday.

Wrapping up the Magic of Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 09:19:00 +0000

This face? It's what it's all about.

If this elated (albeit blurry) expression doesn't scream 'Christmas morning', I don't know what does. As a kid, I came remember the incredible excitement and anticipation as we waited for Santa to come. As I got older, Christmas was a fun holiday but it lacked that pure joy... and that magic.

Since Benjamin and Emme have come along, the magic is back - but in a bigger and better way than I could have ever anticipated. We filled our days leading up to the 25th with fun activities like decorating gingerbread houses, writing letters to Santa, making Christmas crafts, the beloved chocolate advent calendars, and lots of time spent with friends and family.

I didn't do everything I wanted to, but I could feel the anticipation building and loved every minute of it. I especially loved watching Benjamin. This is the first year that he really gets 'it', and not just Santa. Although Santa and the gifts were a big part of the magic for him, he was equally excited about celebrating Jesus's birthday. Early in the month, we had a Family Home Evening lesson on Christmas being Christ's birthday, and how we should look for gifts to give Him throughout the month. Periodically, over those few weeks, Benjamin would say, "I just gave a gift to Jesus by..." - and would fill in the blank with something good or kind he had done. It made my heart happy in that Christmas morning kind of way.

After hosting my family's Christmas party, a caroling party with 40 of our friends and neighbors, and a Christmas Eve party with Dave's family, we ushered the celebrations and people out and gathered our little family together. The kids were soon bathed and dressed in their new Christmas PJs, and finally tucked into bed. In a bit of rare insight, I had wrapped the majority of the presents weeks before which left some time for Dave and I to enjoy Christmas Eve together - and get to bed at a reasonable time for once. The cutest thing that happened shortly thereafter was when Benjamin came running into our room crying. Like many kiddos, he was so excited for Santa to come that he couldn't fall asleep. It was 10:30 and he was worried that Santa had skipped our house because he was still awake. We assured him that wasn't the case and then quietly tucked him back into bed.

The morning came - and the magic erupted all over our living room. We kept our gifts to a minimum and kept things fairly simple. It was joyous, it was so good, and it the most magical Christmas morning we've ever had. Here's a look:

Post-Christmas Family Hike

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 04 Jan 2015 08:25:00 +0000

Paradise Falls

The day after Christmas we joined Julie (one of Dave's sisters) and her family for a little day hike. Heading east is a fun hiking & mountain biking park called Paradise Valley; it's only about 15 minutes from our house, but it feels like you are much further away. Plus, the terrain is quite easy with very little elevation gain - which is especially nice for little legs.

Nothing screams hiking success for a kid like finding the perfect walking stick. Both of our kids did that: not surprisingly, Emme found a 5-foot stick that she adored, but which posed an incredible challenge to hang on to for such a little lady; Benjamin hunted for and wielded six perfect sticks... and nearly took his cousin's eye out in the process. I think Benjamin rates a hike successful if he manages to get 1) absolutely filthy and 2) soaking wet. Check, and... super check. Our merry band traipsed through the beautiful red alders, muddy "rivers" and sky-scraping Evergreen trees for over hour before the littles got thoroughly worn out and started melting down.

It was a pretty chilly day - and of course, I didn't dress my children appropriately (and Emme dressed herself) - so the big thermos of hot apple cider than Aunt Julie brought warmed up those frozen little fingers and bellies just right! All in all, it was a fun outing where we got our bodies moving and enjoyed some of the best fresh air the PNW has to offer.

See Ya, 2014 - & Hello 2015!

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 02:06:00 +0000

“And suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” ― Meister Eckhart

For the first time in ages, the house is quiet and I have some time to write. I found this little nugget of time while Dave is out on his annual ice-climbing trip, Emme is actually taking a decent nap (thank you, pneumonia) and Benjamin has earned some screen time with his favorite video game. Normally, any free moment such as this, I jump onto the computer to catch up on work because I am ALWAYS BEHIND. But alas, today is a holiday, so I'm taking a break!

Before I start in on all of the New Year hullaballoo, I wanted to take a quick look back at 2014. Let's just get it out of the way and say it - I am absolutely stoked that this year is over. It's been a rough one. But there have been some good moments that have made the rough ride worth it. Here we go:

january

My 40th Birthday - so many fun celebrations, I couldn't pick just one photo!

february

Our one snowstorm of the season - yep, we went sledding on a Sunday morning!

march

Emme's first trip to the Woodland Park Zoo

april

Marchant Reunion - Easter at Lincoln City, OR

may

Memorial Day at Deception Pass Park

june

Co-hosted Rochelle's baby shower

july

Willis Tucker splash pad

august

This one is a TIE!

Riding the Train at Remlinger Farms with Grandma Julie

AND...

Manzanita, OR with Ady, Grandma Julie & Grandpa Frank

september

First Day of School (Pre-K)

october
Swan Trails' pumpkin patch

november

Emme's Big #2

december

Leavenworth at Christmas-time

So, yes, we had a very busy year full of fun activities and great people, all for which I am so grateful.

To celebrate NYE last night, we opted to stay in; in fact, the kids were in bed before 8, as was Dave! I stayed up on my own, cozied up on the couch and started chowing down on a yummy ice cream sundae while watching "Edge of Tomorrow". My party of one didn't last long, though! Shortly thereafter, Emme woke up (she's fighting sinusitis and viral pneumonia), followed by Benjamin, who awoke from a nightmare. And thus, two sleepy kiddos snuggled up with me and we rang in 2015 like wild and crazy party animals.

As to the New Year, I am on the fence about writing down resolutions this year... mostly because I stink at keeping them for any length of time. I did stick to last year's resolution of getting the gym more often. Now I just need to balance that with some better eating habits! Anyway, I digress.

Thus, rather than going the resolution route, I came across the hashtag: #olw ("one little word"). People have been choosing a word that is going to be their goal for the new year; a word to focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as each day rolls by. I thought that sounded like a more reasonable and realistic thing to work on in the months ahead -- or maybe it's so vague that it's going to be a heck of a lot harder! Nonetheless, I want to make some big changes in my life, to myself, to my environment - so maybe this will be the jumpstart I need. Without further ado, here is my ONE LITTLE WORD:

To grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.

We'll see how it goes - wish me luck!

A Walk in the Park

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 07:10:00 +0000

Lowell Park in Fall

As a reward to Benj for staying dry all day (including at preschool), the kiddos and I piled in the car to celebrate with a late afternoon trip to one of our favorite parks, Lowell. Sweetening the deal, I had leftovers slated for dinner so we could stay even longer.

And boy did we savor this beautiful afternoon! Swinging our hearts out in the filtered sunshine of a mid-October afternoon. Flying head-first down the big green slide, with magic wand (stick) and unearthed treasure (rock) in hand. Kicking up bark in our wake as we push the merry-go-round at warp speed. Carefully making our way across the vast chasm on our trusty blue bridge.

It was such a treat, such an awesome day. It was one of those perfect days that you see in the movies.

The movie moment ended promptly when, walking to the car (read: dragging the kids, kicking and screaming from their beloved park), Benj informed me he pooped. When we first got there. Over an hour ago. I was so busy chasing after both of them and making sure neither plummeted to their death from a gutsy highwire act, I didn't notice.

The magic was officially gone.

I'll spare the details of the gruesome aftermath, and oh my, yes, it was gruesome. Just sit on this little nugget to fully appreciate my predicament and a little glimpse into the story of my life: I ran out of wipes. Gruesome, folks.

Someday, I'm sure I'll look back on this and laugh - maybe till I cry - but man, not that day. Nope. No laughing. Not on that picturesque, 65-degree October afternoon. You may wonder what it's like to have a child who is still struggling to potty-train at five. While we are making baby steps every day, I can assure you it is most definitely NOT a walk in the park!

Night Owl Librarian

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 08:22:00 +0000

hello blog; it's midnight, six months later, and time to write.

Wow. This life. It's crazy.

My usual routine is wake up, run around like a chicken with my head cut off ALL DAY LONG, get all of my people to sleep, and then start my second life. Oh, and occasionally I slip in a few hours to sleep too.

Tonight, as I was working I had an epiphany. I actually have two lives. By day, I'm a wife/mother and at dusk, I'm a night owl/librarian. Many times, the two lives cross. That's when the madness really begins to settle in.

But anyway, that was my epiphany. I have a crazy life, which often sends me to the brink of my sanity, but I love it just the same. As for us, here's the latest and greatest:

Emme - about to turn 2, going on 15. She's totally become our little Miss Bossypants, as of late. Equally enamored with Gru & the Minions, Mickey & the gang, and the Frozen sisters. Can usually be found sporting a tri-pigtail hairdo, dragging the combo of a dolly, blanket and binky everywhere she goes, dancing like a diva to "Happy", getting some good air with her hoppy jumping, and eating everything we give her - as well as random bits off the floor. Loves milk, nuggets, all kinds of fruit and anything with sugar. Sprinkle donuts and any kind of juice are two of her all-time favorite things. She laughs like a hyena, but in an adorably, wild way. And she has suddenly become quite the talker - people besides me can even understand her now!

Benj - he is quite the kiddo. His pediatrician told us (at 2 days old), "this one's going to keep you on your toes". Truer words have never been uttered. His 5 years have been - well, to be honest - a chaotic, nonstop and often joyful learning experience for us. The kid. still. loves. trains. Like love-loves them. Favorite ice cream is a toss up between mint chocolate chip and "fruity sherbet". He totally adores his sister, when he's not pummeling her. Learning to ride a bike; slowly, but surely he'll get there. Almost, almost potty-trained (this topic could encompass about 50 blog posts, but anyway.) Pre-K starts in a couple of weeks; he still on the fence if that's a good thing.

Dave - is amazing. He has had quite a year. Last summer he rode the STP (Seattle-to-Portland) 210-mile bike ride in about 10 hours... months later, we found he accomplished that with a broken rib! This July, after months of preparation and training, he took some of his Young Men up Mt. Baker. One of the boys's mothers told me the experience was life-changing for him. So, yeah, that's pretty awesome. So proud of him for making such a difference in people's lives. He's also our consummate clothes-folder, dish-doer, lawn-mower and guitar-playing dynamo. In the last few weeks, he's experienced some significant health challenges and while those physical issues have been difficult, he still does things to make me smile.

Me - With everything going on in our crazy life, I'm surviving... but thriving too. I've found it's incredibly easy to get down in the dumps when life continually pummels you with a bushel of lemons. But I found sources of sweetness along the way that have made me realize that my life is beautiful. Lately, I've ramped up my prayers. Namely, praying for other people - so many I know are struggling with very heavy loads lately. With my 'two lives', I get few hours of sleep. Down the road, I'm going to find a way to squeeze in more because you know, I've realized I really love to sleep! Catnaps have been a happy medium in this wild, wild world of mine. Also, I've been woefully bad about reading my scriptures, but in the last few weeks I've been making amends. It may mean listening to them while doing dishes or driving in the car, but random words or stories will jump out at me and remind me that this life is a blessing - and a Test.

Other random things:

Books I'm Reading: "Gone Girl", "Five Days at Memorial" and "My Story by Elizabeth Smart" (I've found the last one particularly compelling)
Fun Places We've Been This Summer: Hiking in Paradise Valley (pic at left); a gazillion trips to area parks; the library; Manzanita, OR; and Benjamin's idea of heaven - Remlinger Farms.
Coolest Discovery: the best chocolate-chip recipe ever. Seriously.
Major Accomplishments: getting Benjamin out of diapers. I should win a Nobel Peace Prize for this. It's been an epic battle. I've researched. I've experimented. I've gone back and done more research. Hours of my life spent in the pursuit of training someone to successfully use a toilet. Sounds crazy, but I'm giddy at the thought of not having to change a 5-year-old's diaper. Also, I sang a solo in church a few days ago. Yes, you read that right. Me. Solo. Me. Mind-blown. That little accomplishment was my version of summitting Everest, folks. It's the little things that matter most.

Life is indeed beautiful, and oh, so sweet.

"Find out where your joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy, is to miss it all." -Robert Louis Stevenson

Hot Fun in the Wintertime

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 01:02:00 +0000

And all that jazz...
(otherwise known as the super-duper long post that takes forever to put together because I've waited so long since I posted. Drat drat drat. Anyway, enjoy!)

A Lazy Sunday Morning

Emme's wearing her new whale jumper (which I adore) - and checking out our engagement pictures. Love this kiddo.

Work Birthday Bash

Had a delectable array of berries for our yogurt parfaits with my department at work.

California Omelette? Yes, please!

The delicious food from Sawmill Cafe made for a fun (and lively) way to kick off my birthday with the kids and Grandma & Grandpa Marchant.

My Big, Fat 40th Birthday Bash

Surrounded by some of my favorite people on the planet, we had the most AMAZING Mexican fiesta buffet and best karaoke celebration EVER! Turning a year older (especially when hitting a big milestone) can be kind of hard. But man, this birthday, and most especially this party, totally rocked. Saying I loved this party would be putting it mildly. It was such a great night and an awesome memory that I will put in my pocket for a rainy day... it was that kind of awesome.

My Birthday Fun Continues...

Riding to Edmonds to spend the day with the Goodwin grandparents while we spent the day snowshoeing. Big Bonus: the kids were totally stoked to hang with them and it allowed us to do something we used to do but haven't done in a long time - snowshoe & enjoy the beauty of the outdoors - together!

Snowshoeing to Source Lake

Beautiful drive up I-90 to Snoqualmie Pass.

Setting out at the trailhead at Alpental... who's excited?

View from the lake; Dave gazing up to a frozen waterfall climb; me getting snow in my eyes while trying to take a selfie... but loving the beauty of this winter wonderland.

The steep, slide-slipping pitch (totally thought I was going to eat it, but didn't - yay me!); catching a glimpse of some blue sky through the trees; frozen falls on the way home - gorgeous.

And it's ClaimJumper's for the Win

After a fun-filled day in the mountains, we came home, changed and headed to feast on awesome food at ClaimJumper's. The smallest thing on the menu happens to be these baby red-velvet cupcakes, which they give out as their free birthday goodies. My take? Cake was kind of dry and flavorless & the frosting wasn't very sweet, but then again, I'm not a huge fan of red velvet - and I'm a cake snob. Still, a lovely evening out alone with my Dave!

Kiddo #1 & Kiddo #2

I had promised Benj that we would make a train cake and decorate it this week. Alas, only the cake got made (because of the insane cake below); still both kiddos were happy. Kiddo #1 got to play with his edible train & coaches, while Kiddo #2 got to gobble up the leftovers. Of course, CAKE = Happy People!

Death By Chocolate... no joke.

It was Super Bowl Sunday. The Seahawks were playing the Broncos (and we WON). But it was also still the weeklong celebration of Moi, so not surprisingly, I made a cake. The cake consisted of three layers of deep chocolate cake (Beatty's Chocolate Cake recipe - except I accidentally used heavy cream instead of buttermilk... which turned out to be one awesome mistake, btw); three layers of "Death By Chocolate" dark chocolate mousse; topped off with whipped cream, whole strawberries and chocolate ganache drizzled on top. No frosting was needed on this baby. And although it was insanely rich, it was mind-blowing-ly good (yeah, I know that's not a real word)!

Haug Homestead Park

Took a jaunt to a local park in the middle of our not-so-deep winter. Coats and hats were required, but we fed the ducks an inordinate amount of freezer-burnt bread (so yummy, I'm sure), scampered all over the playground, made stick piles and generally ran around like crazy people. It was another lovely day at the park with my little people.

(unknown) Park near Hospital

Grandma Julie needed a ride to get some tests at the Prov-Everett cancer center, so we took advantage of yet ANOTHER sunny, cool day and discovered this little park in north Everett. Benjamin's favorite thing was digging in the dirt and Emme was obsessed with our patriotic ball - or "BA!" as she likes to call it. Thankfully, after only 20 minutes there, grandma called saying she was done; although it was a fun little park, it's situated right next to Port Gardner and the bone-chilling wind was blowing extra wild that day so I was happy to scoot everyone back into the comforts of our warm car to go pick her up.

~Aloha Emme~

Otherwise known as the various stages of Lei Destruction. Our neighbor brought this over as a thank-you for turning her heat back on while they were flying back from Hawaii. I took this picture below before "LD" officially began... it's obvious that Emme is not happy with me for delaying said-destruction.

Let Them Eat Cake!

These are the leftover chocolate & cream-cheese frosting cupcakes from the Mexican fiesta. And yes, I let them eat them for breakfast because I'm cool like that.

Fa-fa-fa- Freezing!

Another outdoor adventure led us to Willis-Tucker park. The week of my birthday was crazy cold, compared to the rest of our winter. We went on a nature walk (Emme had zonked so I was carrying her in the Ergo - which she slept in the WHOLE TIME. Awesomeness!) So, it was basically a Mommy-Benj date, where we walked around checking out the frozen pond, collecting ice-chunk specimens, discovering mysterious things called stumps in the scary woods and making snow angels in the sandbox. Perhaps it was wishful-thinking, but funny enough, it actually snowed this same evening... a lot!

We Finally Got Snow!

This was last Sunday (Feb 9th).

I love everything about all of these pictures...

but I especially adore the Daddy-Benj snow angels.

Valentine's Day

Dave was headed out for a Scout camping trip this weekend, so I stayed up extra late to make him this silly card (with sayings like "I love you like Sheldon loves his spot."), a Valentine's Mad Lib at the breakfast table and a little love note for his vest pocket while he was out in the snowy wilderness.

I asked Benj what he wanted for breakfast and he said pancakes, so I made these whole-wheat aebleskivers which turned out so good! Everyone gobbled them up.

Dave took off with the boys around 11am and we were still having breakfast, which was the perfect lazy way to spend Valentine's, in my opinion. After doing a bunch of random stuff around the house, we headed to Willis-Tucker again for some play time before our Valentine's movie party with the cousins. We grabbed a Hawaiian pizza on the way home, which both hungry kids quickly devoured. Then, Lucy & Alice joined us for popcorn and Wall-E, Benj's go-to selection for any popcorn movie party! Dave showed up in the time for the movie; sadly, a heavy rain had ruined their igloo-building plans so we got to have him back for Valentine's afterall! Luckily, neither of the girls had seen Wall-E - and I think everyone really enjoyed it. Fun times, fun night of memories.

Dave's Birthday Cake

Dave isn't a big fan of the hullabaloo of weeklong birthday celebrations, but I still wanted to celebrate him and his big day so that he knew how much we love him. Plus, Benjamin was begging to help blow out the candles on a cake. So I whipped up this beauty before church last week. Our SIL Aubri showed up in time to snap some pictures and partake in this deconstruction of a Boston Cream Pie. The french vanilla filling really made the cake - even I liked it!

Egg White & Veggies 'cupcakes'

A big fan of the savory breakfast, I made some of these this week. I may tweak a few things in the future, but they were fun, easy and quite tasty - plus the small size made them easy to toss in my mouth as I was driving to work at o'dark thirty this week!

Random Shot of the Week: "You are Not Alone"

Silly Em Pictures

She has started mugging for pictures. I think it's so stinkin' cute, but I'm biased, I suppose.

Tambarking

Had an absolute blast at Tambark Park this week. I didn't take many pictures, as I was running around everywhere with the kiddos. We slid, swung, spun, ran, tossed rocks in the creek, did jumping jacks and even ran lines in the astro-turfed sports field. Storm clouds were threatening but we lucked out again with some pretty decent weather as we took in some fresh air and sunshine!

Another fun month under our belts. But how is it possible that we are only about a week away from March 2014? Crazy.

My little spiritual blurb: Lastly, I listened to this conference talk while I was putting away groceries today. Elder Ulisses Soares talked about being meek and lowly of heart. This section of his talk really resonated with me; becoming more meek is something I want to work on in the days & weeks ahead.

Being meek does not mean weakness, but it does mean behaving with goodness and kindness, showing strength, serenity, healthy self-worth, and self-control.

Fun with Food - and other Adventures

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sat, 25 Jan 2014 10:03:00 +0000

At our house, food is one of the many things we use for play... not by my choice, but hey, it's all good. At left is Benjamin's interpretation of a fruit snowman. Clever, no?

So, tonight is the eve of my weeklong birthday celebrations. And because I'm hitting the four-decade mark, I decided to "do it up" by firing up the grill for some good grubbing. Two (on wicked sale) angus ribeye steaks and a whole herd of red potato wedges were slapped on our ridiculously large grill, while I wildly chopped up some veggies for the green salad.

Unfortunately, in the end, said steaks were very well-done and the potatoes were a bit charred. While chopping tomatoes, I noticed Emme's pants were having some big issues. And during my cooking time, Benj had mysteriously disappeared upstairs. Whisking her upstairs, I heard him holler - from the bathroom. He was on the toilet. (This may sound normal for the typical 4-year-old, but our little buddy is a bit of a late-bloomer in the potty-training area and has never just hopped on the potty by himself. Was a bit scared at what I would find.)

Me: Peeking my head in the door, he is bouncing up and down, making this trumpeting sound - which is code for HE WENT. "Good job, Benj! Um, were you poopy?"

Benj: "Yep, pee AND poop!"

Me: "(slightly worried) Wow!! Um, awesome... where's your pull-up?"

Benj: "In my room."

Me: (EGADS - rush into room - a million pull-ups strewn all over the floor. Oh. My.)

Luckily, I only had to dig through a few pull-ups to find his used one. And even more luckily, no #2. Thank the sweet, sweet heavens.

I quickly change Emme's diaper, as well as her soiled pants, onesie, other shirt - and socks. Blah. This is the third outfit being tossed into the laundry today - the fourth, if you count her PJs.

After everyone is cleaned up - neither of them had pants on yet - I hear the timer beeping. "Oh, no!" I panicked. "The super nice cuts of steaks are still on the grill!" I thought as I rush downstairs, my entourage following. Whipping open the grill, and after swallowing a billow of smoke, I pulled everything off quickly. I turned around and my two children - picture it, if you will - are standing behind me on the deck, nearly naked. Benj is in his t-shirt and the pull-up that is only covering one side of his bum (he likes to do things himself these days). Emme only has on her diaper, and I obviously didn't do the greatest job slapping that on, as I was under duress from the nagging timer. Thank goodness that it isn't really winter here in Seattle. It was a balmy evening, lingering around 45 degrees; not super hot (and definitely not warm enough for no-clothes Friday) but a heck of a lot warmer than pretty much anywhere else in the country.

In the end, not the best grilling night ever, but the food was palatable and those other things needed immediate attention.

Anyway...

As of late, the kids and I have had some killer dance parties during dinner prep in the evenings. Tonight's was Off. The. Hook. Epic, even. And you know why?

We danced with food. Interpretive carrot dancing to the Zac Brown Band and Manhattan Transfer. It's an eclectic music style we've got going, but it was good times, people, good times.

After dinner, I got the kids in the bath while Dave tackled the disaster area called our family room. PJs and prayers wrapped up the evening before Benj snuggled into bed. Emme needed a little milk night-cap before she conked out. As with tradition, Dave & I sprawled out on the couch to watch "Grimm"; sadly, I was asleep in minutes, so caught very little of the hour-long show. Thanks to the NBC online, I can catch up on it later. Whew!

Earlier this week, as a rare treat, we played at a local park - yep, it was outside. Only in Washington in January, right?

I had to run errands on the other side of the valley, so I packed up hats and coats so we could make a quick visit to Blackman's Lake. It was quite chilly outside, but the day had been sunny and I figured we could all use some fresh air (this was, of course, before I knew Emme was so sick).

We hung out on the docks, checking out the murky water and spotting some friendly ducks. Then we tromped up the muddy hill to the playground. Even though Emme wasn't at the top of her game, she had a great time; I think she went down that red slide about 10 times... and kept trying to climb up even after we'd moved on to the swings. Benj was in heaven too.

We only stayed for about 20 minutes, but it was a beautiful winter afternoon as we caught the first glimpses of dusk settling over the barren park.

In other news, here is what's been up with us this week:

Emme was nailed with a double ear-infection, as well as the flu Type A. We have to give her Amoxicillin and Tamiful every 12 hours. Inevitably, we get showered with her pink and white spewings. I think she's beginning to hate us and the sight of those little medicine plungers.
Besides the major achievement of going to the toilet solo, Benj has been working hard on his academics. Tonight he said he wanted to count to one tril-million (not to be confused with trillion - a tril-million is infinitely more, apparently). And during bath time, he uses foam letters to put together words; tonight, he asked how to spell poop.
Dave's working out with this new program - a fitness & nutrition e-book called "Evolution", written by Joe Manganiello. For those playing along at home, he's this totally ripped dude that plays a werewolf on "True Blood". Haven't ever seen the show, but his drive for developing the program & writing the book is the best reason & quote (paraphrased by moi) ever. "Taking the role, I knew I was going to have to be naked a lot." Makes sense.
Me - we switched gyms this month, joining the Y a few weeks back. The commute to the old gym was 20+minutes, where the Y is less than 5. I've already used this gym membership more in the last couple of weeks than the last 18 months at the old place. Thankfully, the dues at the old gym were $12/month (for both Dave and I), so I didn't lose too much sleep over it because Dave still used it a lot. In my free time, I've been putting together plans for next week, including a very big birthday party on Friday night - lots of friends, Mexican food, a dessert bar & karaoke are all on the schedule. I hope to document everything because if all goes as planned, it's going to be the best birthday yet! Stay tuned...

My Life: The Second Week of January

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 09:10:00 +0000

kids and food

I really miss writing. I miss it in a way that I can't really even put into words, which is kind of funny.

I love the photo at left; Benjamin finds multiple uses for everything around him. This creative kiddo not only colors with his crayons, but he also uses them to build fun, colorful shapes. He was quick to tell me circles are not available!

Anyway, in an attempt to capture the fleeting moments of this beautiful life of mine, I am half-heartedly blogging tonight as the house sits... relatively quiet.

Why half-heartedly? My heart is with my kids - both of which are a bit under the weather and thus, not sleeping well. My heart's with Dave too - he worked himself to death at the gym, so he crashed early tonight. I worry about all of my people.

As for the sickies, my sweet little Benjamin just woke up screaming (night terrors) with a bloody nose. He's battling a nasty, double ear infection and the poor kid has been fighting sleep the last few nights. He keeps saying his ears hurt. I suppose it's nice that he's able to actually communicate that; the last time he had an ear infection (he was plagued with them between the ages of 1 and 2), we never seemed to know that he was in pain. After a quick trip to the doctor, he is dosed up on Zithromax and Ibuprofen, as well as some pain-numbing ear drops. I hope that he can get some rest.

The days move along steadily, with a well-known rhythm. We wake, eat, clean, play, go to school/work, nap, eat, clean, play, sleep. Life is on eternal repeat, with few things to break up what can be a very monotonous existence. Nonetheless, there are little moments that make each day different and special - I just have to be aware and 'in' those moments to see them.

My partners-in-crime

Although Benj is rough with Emme, they seem to get along quite well. Amongst the frenzied playing and occasional fisticuffs, there are sweet moments where Emme will run up to him and put her head against his shoulder, kind of saying "I'm here - how's it going?". And then I'll turn around later, seeing Benj giving her a kiss on the forehead. He's also become a big fan of random hugs for me; not gonna' lie - I love it.

A Boy and His Trains

Benj is still over-the-moon in love with trains. He's got a whole bin of Thomas tracks, cars & engines. He has a multi-colored wooden engine & cars. And he has a set from Target (no name brand) which he calls his Jillian & Janaya trains (they gave him a gift card for his birthday). However, his most recently acquired one is probably his favorite because it's self-propelled. He sits and watches it go round and round and round. It's the set that Santa brought... after the first set broke on Christmas Day. This is a set called PowerTrains, which are battery-operated. (Bottom R picture is him showing me where he bit his bottom lip: "Hey mom, take a picture!)

In addition to trains, he digs car. Car 37 (below), courtesy of the checkout line at Fred Meyer, is his current favorite thing. He also does a mean Harry Potter (wear mom's glasses) impersonation. As a quick aside, the doctor's office did his stats yesterday: 3'9" (45") tall and 47lbs! Growin' like a weed.

Emelia Alexis: our little spitfire

Our sweet baby girl. But oh boy, she is definitely Miss Independent - and quite the sassy little thing these days. Lately, she always seems to be walking around with some kind of purse/bag/backpack slung over her arm. She just transitioned from a bottle to her dearly beloved pink sippy - and eats like a horse. Favorite food? Mac & cheese. She'd eat it by the truckload, if we let her. She is game for pretty much any food (except for tonight's steamed broccoli), but LOVES milk, yogurt, any kind of pasta, eggs, toast, peas, mandarin oranges, bananas, kiwis, and anything with sugar (shocking, right?).

Besides time with the kids and Dave, I've been trying to cook more frequently AND healthy (whole foods, predominantly). Obviously, the pictures below don't all fall into that healthy category, but they are all old goodies that I've recently revisited. I had to make my go-to pasta salad for a funeral, making extras for our dinner that night. Forgot how much I love that pasta salad. The ice cream pie is a throwback to the B&R days - grasshopper ice-cream pie. Made it for dinner with the missionaries and it was as good as I remembered. The last pic is my effort to make pizza on Pizza Friday, rather than running up to Dominos. The whole wheat crust and homemade sauce both turned out great and everything went together fairly quick too. The bottom is a Hawaiian-Bacon pizza and the top is a Chicken Sausage, Onions and Green Pepper pie. It was a good night for dinner at the Goodwins!

And that, my friends, is my "second week in January" update. Hope to keep this writing thing going... as long as I'm not too sleep-deprived from writing until the wee hours for each post.

My Resolution

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 00:25:00 +0000

Happy New Year... and just 8 days later! I'm giving myself mad props that I actually posted this before Easter. Go, me!

Well, it's that time of year again - time to make resolutions and to revisit all of the goals that we failed to meet last year. Just kidding. Honestly, I try really hard not to be overzealous and unrealistic with resolutions so that I can actually meet some of my goals. Admittedly, some years are better than others.

This year, I stumbled upon a gem that a friend shared on Facebook. I went back to find it but it has disappeared from this person's page. I wish that I could find the link because my summary won't do this woman's words justice. Nonetheless, it was a powerful blog post about not ever feeling good enough. As I read through the paragraphs, it was like reading my thoughts... only the words were coming from someone else's brain.

Not being 'good enough' sums up how I feel in every aspect of my life. I'm always running late. I don't make all of my meals with sustainable, non-GMO, organic food. I say things I shouldn't. I don't throw magazine-worthy spreads for birthday parties. I don't give enough time and attention to my marriage. I sometimes go weeks before responding to an important email. I lose my temper way too easily. The kids watch too much tv. The kids don't get enough activity/exercise. I don't get enough exercise. There are always 5 loads of dirty clothes piled in our laundry room. Prayers and scripture reading are not done every day (or week... or month, sometimes). My dusting skills are woefully poor. Our FHE's are poorly planned and executed - if they happen at all. My kitchen sink is never completely empty. Sadly, I could go on for pages and pages about my 'not good enough' list.

I realize I have some weird and lofty expectations. I get that - and that's why this blogger's thoughts resonated with me. I'm not preaching that mediocrity should be the new gold standard, but rather that I need to be content even though everything is not perfect. I need to learn to live in the land of "Good Enough"; I visit but don't ever stay too long there.

But, my friends, the times are a' changin'.

Instead of worrying about the long list of things I can't ever seem to do right, I'm going to try to focus on the good things I accomplish. I have healthy, growing kids. I make pretty awesome cupcakes (in my humble opinion). Dave & I go on dates - at least once a quarter! I do my cleaning in fits and bursts, but at least I do it; there aren't too many cobwebs in the corners of my house. And every now and again, I write on my blog. And I'm going to try to be better, only at a slower pace. As I look back at my days and weeks, my hope - dare say, my resolution for 2014 - is to see past all of the inadequacies and see that my efforts were indeed, good enough.

November 10, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:49:00 +0000

The Untold Story

(disclaimer - this is uber personal and kind of sad... so proceed with caution.)

For anyone that was reading my blog a couple of years ago, the post I wrote on that day in mid-November probably puzzled some and just plain confused others. The blog title is "Ruminations at 12:23: Things As They Are". Reading it back today, it was kind of an odd post without any context to give it its shape.

Two days prior, I had a miscarriage. I'd had friends and acquaintances that shared their stories of this unfortunate event, but I never really understood what that really meant; it was a very clinical thing to me, at that point. I knew it was sad, and meant the loss of a child, but I just didn't get it - until it happened to me.

Wednesday, November 10th: We were just three days shy of the magical "12-weeks" of pregnancy; the time when, historically, you are out of the woods and it's *fairly* safe to share your happy news. In fact, I was planning to share the news with my best girlfriends at our monthly get-together on the 12th. I was so excited because keeping wonderful things that are happening to you a secret is so challenging.

That Wednesday night, I had some spotting. It happened when I was 17-weeks pregnant with Benjamin, so I tried to stay optimistic and hopeful. But there was a part of me that felt dread - I knew that this time was just different somehow. The next morning was my day to go in to work at the hospital. I arrived at the hospital around 6am; to my dismay, the spotting had not stopped. I sat at my desk, staring into space, thinking, willing the clock to spin wildly until it reached 9am - the time my doctor's office opens. I was so nervous but yet trying not overreact. "Maybe it was nothing", I told myself, and I definitely didn't want to be that annoying pregnant lady that calls in every time something little and inconsequential happens. After a few minutes of wrestling both sides, I called in and left a message for the on-call doctor. That was at 7:02am. (Are you shocked that I can recall such specifics from a day two years ago? Not me - the minutia and events are etched into my brain forever.)

I didn't hear back from the on-call doc until 4:33pm - it was a VM on my phone saying, "Hi, I was just calling you back from your message; hope everything is ok". I was angry at him. Because by then, it was too late. But I had not waited for his call. I became that annoying pregnant lady who marched into the office - BEFORE they officially opened - and said I was bleeding. Everyone was so nice. There was a nurse with a thick French accent. She walked me down the hall and held my hand - I remember hers was very cold. But she spoke with a kind and gentle voice, as she walked me in to the dark ultrasound room. The ultrasound tech was nice too. As they got me prepped, I knew. I just knew. As the machine powered on and the fuzzy gray image appeared on the monitor, the tech began running the ultrasound wand across my stomach. I saw the image before she could say anything. There was just stillness. No movement. No life.

What happened next was a whirlwind, for which I am glad now. I remember all of the details, but more keenly and overwhelmingly, I remember being numb. I didn't cry initially... and maybe that's weird. What I can recall is that I was trying to remain standing, while processing the enormity of what had happened - disappearing due dates and unmet milestones. There was that, and I was in shock. The numbness washed over me like a dark, heavy blanket. My doctor came in and asked if I wanted to call my husband. I said no. I wanted to be safely locked in my own office when I called him, delivering the news. I wanted to be alone if I was going to begin speaking again, which would undoubtedly be punctuated with a cascade of tears.

Once back in the safety of my quiet office, I called Dave and then my boss. She is a good friend; she cried with me. And then she told me to go home. I had ridden the bus that morning, so Dave had to pick me up. The look on his face was sad, solemn, and concerned. We drove back to Edmonds but didn't talk a lot but there wasn't much to say.

I am a very private person when it comes to my emotions. Unfortunately, Dave had to finish some things at work before we could go home. We stopped by his parents' house and told me I could hang out there until he was done. Even though they were people I love, I didn't want to be around anyone. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and let those emotions fly - in private, my way. After dropping him off at his office, I took a lovely, meandering drive through the lush beauty of Woodway. After passing through neighborhoods veiled with thick shrubs and tall trees, the road eventually winds down to the waterfront and downtown Edmonds. I pulled into Baskin-Robbins. I didn't even hesitate; I quickly ordered THREE scoops of the most rich, chocolate flavors they had. Three scoops is a lot of ice-cream and nothing I would normally order, but I was ready to swim in the muddy waters of that stuff and totally drown my sorrows in chunks of brownies, chocolate flakes and swirls of cream.

I drove over to a park that overlooks the ferry dock. This was the place where Dave proposed. It felt safe, secluded and peaceful - a good place to be alone and think. I watched the waves pulse in and out as I tried to wrap my mind around what had happened. I sat like that for a long time. At some point, I pulled out my phone and went directly to a video on lds.org which I'd seen before: "Hope Ya Know, I Had a Hard Time". I love what it has to say and the comfort it brings; watching it the second time around, those were the words that I needed to hear. There were words of peace, faith, acknowledgment, and understanding that someone was there during one of the darkest days of my life. And above all, the words in that little video gave me hope.

The next few days were a blur: difficult, heart-wrenching phone calls to family and a couple of close friends; my body going into full labor and the excruciating pain of it; the emergency D&C surgery; breakfast with all of my friends, where I delivered the news to my tight-knit group of girlfriends. In those days, I thought a lot. About death, about life. Loss, grieving and humility.

Pain is a funny thing. It tears you apart inside, but it also brings clarity. Months later, I found myself lying in the same hospital and the same Labor & Delivery area. It was a bit surreal because I had since associated that place with sadness and loss. The memories of the pain and sorrow were still there, but the sharp edges had faded in the passing weeks and months. And on that bright, cold Thursday morning, we experienced the greatest joy in our life as we welcomed our very healthy baby girl... a year and two days after my miscarriage. The pain of losing a baby made the joy of this new life that much greater. It was a magical, beautiful and breathtaking moment as I first held our sweet little girl in my arms. It may sound strange, but I will forever cherish the experience of that miscarriage. It changed me in a way that no other experience could. And it helped me understand, on a much deeper level these words, "... know thou, my [daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." (Doctrine & Covenants 122:7)

Back from the Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:27:00 +0000

An appropriate post title on two counts: seeing as it has been 9 months since I last posted (egads), I'm attempting to resurrect the blog... and as it is just past Halloween, we can play up that holiday theme, as well! Or not.

But the "I haven't written in ages" theme is getting terribly cliche for me; it hearkens back to the days of my teenage journal... which is sadly sparse and sporadic.

Not surprisingly, I don't have a lot of time to do much of anything these days so writing has, as many of my pasttimes, been shoved to the back burner. I'm not promising (myself) anything that is anywhere near frequent, but I'm making some little goals.

With that, let's jump right into life at Goodwin Manor in 2013.

EMME

First off, there is Emme (or kiddo #2, as Benjamin likes to call her); sweet, wild, nutsy, smiling Emelia Alexis - our 11-month-old dynamo.

Nicknames: Emmers, Em-ster (Bunny), Em, Emme-Girl
Last check-up (9-mo): 24" (50% height); 16.9 lbs (10% weight) - I promise I'm feeding her!
Words: Ma-ma, Dadada, Uh-oh
Food: Anything in sight, practically. Loves gnawing on Honeycrisp apples and Num-Num crackers.
Toys: Anything of Benjamin's... or that she can stuff in her mouth. Has also taken a great liking to board books (after mom's heart).
Tricks: Climbs up and down the stairs, climbs on EVERYTHING, weaned from nursing this month and has officially started ~~walking~~ running!

I've been feeling awfully guilty that I have not documented much of Emme's 1st year. As I use this blog as our family journal/family history source, that lack of information on all of her "firsts" of life majorly bums me out. I've given you a small glimpse of where we are now - and hopefully will make amends in the future!

BENJ

For anyone that knows him, it's hard to put him in a box. He's a mash-up of so many wildly delicious things that are, at times, amusing and other times, driving us to madness. But it's all of those things that make Benjamin who he is, and we couldn't love him more.

Nicknames: Benj (Benj-Benj), Benjameen-o, Benja-beaners
Last check-up (4 yrs): 44" (97% height); 43 lbs (90% weight) - he never eats, so I have no idea how this happened!
Fave Food: Milk (I asked). He also likes chicken nuggets, fruity sherbet (rainbow), steel-cut oatmeal, corn, carrots, applesauce (esp the squeeze pouches), apples, and a big bowl of cut-up cucumbers & tomatoes with vinaigrette. I must be doing something right.
Toys: All of the Thomas trains, his wooden trains, the 'Jillian & Janaya' trains... who are we kidding? This kiddo loves any and all trains. He also has become quite attached to the Disney show, "Phineas & Ferb", and a video called "Spooky Buddies".
Random tidbit: LOVES to watch train videos on YouTube - videos that someone taped - countless hours of footage as trains run the tracks... over and over and over.
Firsts: Dentist office (and a surprising success!)
Working on: Learning to ride his new bike, use the potty and swim (swimming lessons this summer at McCollum Pool with his best friend, Levi)

DAVE
He's still working hard at the Goodwin Law Group, while serving as the YM president in our ward. Super busy with all of his responsibilities, he still finds time to ride his bike (commuting to work sometimes), work out, mow the grass, wrestle with Benjamin, hug Emme and be my best friend. He's pretty much Captain Amazing, in my book.

Nicknames: Dave, Da-da-da, Daddy
Toys: New commuter and road bikes - the commuter was bought for training and then a very frightening crash that cracked the frame of his beloved, blue Trek meant we needed to get him geared up with a new road bike (1 1/2 wks) before the STP. Both bikes are some color combination of black, grey and white - and both are Treks. What can I say? We are loyal to our favorite brands.
Firsts: Completed the STP (Seattle-to-Portland) ride this summer, which is 200+ miles. Amazingly, he accomplished this goal shortly after a terrible crash during training. We were all waiting at the finish line, cheering him on and couldn't be more proud of him!
Working on: His high adventure plans for the YM next summer; knowing him, it's going to be nothing but amazing.
Random tidbit: He says that amazing is totally a "Michelle Word", and that I say it a lot. And not amazingly, I do. :)

MICHELLE

I'm the mom. I'm a librarian. I'm a mormon. And I love (almost) every minute of it. C'mon - life is just tough sometimes and this is a safe place where we can be completely honest, right?

Nicknames: Chelle, M, Mommy, Ma-ma-ma, M-AAH-M!!!
Post-pregnancy dental check-up: NO cavities. I consider this cause for major celebration - after Benjamin was born, I had SEVEN, in addition to several old fillings that had cracked or needed to be complete replaced. Who knew I had that many teeth to "cavitize".
Fave Food Discovery: A fabulous steel-cut oatmeal recipe that does not require salt or sugar. Lovely stuff. Also, white sweet potatoes were discovered totally by mistake... also tasty.
Random tidbit: Presented a CNE (Continuing Nursing Education) talk in September at our hospital's lecture hall. For 90 minutes, I talked about my little library, threw Dove chocolate at people, forced the CNO to spell 'fibromyalgia' (she still hates me for that) and lead everyone is a rousing session of office yoga. I was terrified going in, but from all reports it was a smashing success. Giving myself a little pat on the back.
Firsts: Had my first pedicure (EVER!) with my mom this summer; it was lovely and I'm smacking myself upside the head for not doing it sooner.
Working on: Finding balance. Not sure if it's out there, but I'm bound and determined to find it.

**!BONUS!**

For those of you who read this far in this SUPER LONG (and probably boring to you) post, here is the preview/proof for our newest family picture; enjoy - you deserve it!

Long Lost Blog - & Welcome Emme

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:33:00 +0000

hello world, we're back!

Without further ado about my little absence from posting, let's just get some stuff up on this little blog of mine, shall we?

~emme~

A week ago Sunday marks 2 months - yes, TWO! - since Emme was born. It's high time that she is included in our family blog history, don't you think? During my maternity leave, I don't think I turned on our desktop computer once.; it's crazy to think about, but I'm fairly certain it's true. As I write this, I'm downloading the pictures from our camera - all 376 of them. I think that's some kind of record for me. I usually take around 20 or 30 and dump them quickly into iPhoto. Transitioning to two kiddos have proven to be a little crazy.

So, to rewind. On Tuesday, November 13th at 7:27am, Emilia Alexis Goodwin emerged on the scene thanks to a c-section from my favorite OB, Deb Stemmerman, MD. At 6 pounds, 9 ounces & 19" long, she was a beautiful little ball of baby delight. Funny thing: she was literally smacking her lips, ready to chowdown, as they pulled her from abdomen. Much to my surprise, she was a rockstar eater and has never looked back; to date, she is a little over 11 pounds.

Everyone asks how she is, and honestly, I have no complaints. She eats well, sleeps well, smiles a ton, tolerates with great ease the noise & craziness that her big brother slings her way, and on occasion, she has even laughed out loud in her sleep. Babies LOL'ing? - it's basically the cutest thing I've ever encountered.

Here's a look back at the last couple of months:

Birth

One month

Two months

~benjamin~

The last couple of months have been a wild ride for Benjamin. He lost his room, lost his crib, gained a new room, got a big boy bed, got a sister (egads!), started preschool at Riverview Elementary, started riding the school bus, and left nursery for the grown-up world of Sunbeams & Primary. Despite all that has been thrown at him, he has handled it better than we anticipated; don't get me wrong, it's been a bumpy road and he has been a little more challenging lately, but man, who wouldn't be after your life has been turned upside down?

Latest scoop on this kid: he's growing like a weed - and has suddenly turned from a toddler to a full-fledged preschooler. At his last appointment, he was 34 lbs and off the charts for his height... although we can't be exactly sure how many inches he is these days, as he was set on not letting anyone measure him.

Loves Thomas the Train (and all accompanying characters)... or any type of train, for that matter (YouTube videos of diesel or steam trains are his latest addiction - we liken it to watching grass grow, OR the red train cake molds which he has even taken to bed!); his Monkey blanket; dancing; chasing or being chased; making trains with anything in the house (Ziploc bag boxes, cake mixes, containers, etc); fruit smoothies; milk; and, as any little kid would agree, SUGAR! He has also taken a liking to this dude named Santa who brought him Spencer & the Blue Mountain Quarry (Thomas stuff) last month; I see a deep & abiding kinship between them in the future.

"Benj" is the nickname that seems to stick; we do call him Benjamin too, but when people simply call him "Ben" I just think to myself "that just doesn't seem to fit him at all". As mentioned above, he's not a huge fan of the doctor. Thanks to Emme's arrival, he & daddy went in for matching flu shots the week before her birth; despite his aversion to the doctor's office, he handled it like a champ.

I've been looking back at pictures of him to see how much he and Emme look alike (a lot), and I've been struck with a wistful sadness... those little baby days rush by far too quickly. I will say that I love watching him love on Emme (even if he loves her a little too much sometimes). His favorite thing right now is to lie down next to her, wiggling & giggling... which makes me smile.

A new sister

Typical Benjamin antics

Fun Christmas projects

A Very Train Christmas

~dave~

Dave has been super busy; between family, work, church, Young Mens, scouting activities and outdoor adventures, he is always on the run. On New Years Day, his annual tradition to go ice climbing was slightly altered; the snow at Mount Baker was deep and beckoning, so he & his brother, Jon, grabbed their AT skis and headed for the hills. Jon, who is a CrossFit fan, has been inviting Dave to jump on the wagon - or at least give it a try. They've been working out in Jon's pseduo gym, otherwise known as his garage.

~michelle~

The holidays were a bit of a blur for me, but despite that, I tried to do some things to make them memorable. And I tried very hard to do some fun holiday activities with Benjamin, such as making a paper chain and decorating a gingerbread house, to make them special for him too. But, for those into family planning, I would highly discourage you from shooting for a baby born in the last quarter of the year... if you can help it. A baby born in mid-November basically shoots all of your plans out the window!

One of my greatest frustrations in my baking experiences is bad pie crust - it never turns out for me, and it's been killing me. Well, our bishop's wife (actually, her daughter) did a presentation of her world famous, no-fail pie crust. And as luck would have it, she passed the recipe on to our group. So, a week after having Emme, I decided that although we weren't going to do Thanksgiving formally, I would give my nod to turkey day by testing out the recipe. The results were AMAZING - and I topped the crust with my all-time favorite pie, Chocolate Meringue. And you know what? Nobody else in the family likes that kind of pie, so I sort of had to eat it myself. Bummer.

As I said, the holidays were a bit of a blur, but I always try to see these six ladies, no matter what! We had our monthly get together two weeks after Emme was born (sensing a theme? I now gauge all of my time BE or AE, before or after Emme!). It was fun night of cookies & cocoa but we had to cut it short; we had a baby that was hungry and a very tired little boy. Nonetheless, it made my heart happy and my holidays complete to spend some time with cherished friends.

Christmas was sweet and simple this year, which I've decided is my favorite way to celebrate it. My Christmas present came a little early this year, but you will get no complaints from me.

~Random bits~

COLD DAY AT THE ZOO: New Year's Eve Day at the Woodland Park Zoo with the Haladins was a special treat. To quickly sum it up, we saw animals, we chased our animals, we froze our fingers & toes, we had a blast!

DATE NIGHT: A couple of weeks ago, my mom was in the hospital while recovering from her stem cell transplant and a bout of RSV pneumonia. Ben & Kathleen were kind enough to watch the kiddos while we went down. She was in a droplet precautions room, so we had to gown up (gown, mask, eye mask & gloves), so kiddos just were not allowed. And I think that they had much more fun running around with grandma & grandpa anyway!

My Belated October

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 17:11:00 +0000

late: it's the story of my life, lately

Woefully late, I considered not even doing a post for last month. However, in an attempt to capture some semblance of our family's personal "history", I am here to tell our October 2012 stories. I'm just hopeful that the pictures will jog my memory enough to actually recall what happened!

More Fundraising for Mom

Thankfully, we weren't in charge of this fundraiser, but one of my mom's good friends came up with the idea of a giant garage sale, which she planned in conjunction with a neighborhood-wide sale. Part of that event was a bake sale. I figured while I couldn't really help with staffing, I could pitch in some baked goods. At left, you see the lemon cupcakes with cream cheese frosting; at right, a bounty of my most popular chocolate fudge cupcakes with peanut butter/cream cheese frosting. I think in all, I made approximately 4 dozen cupcakes, but Diane, my mom's friend & coordinator of the sale, said she could have sold dozens more. I was just happy to help out, but it's always nice to hear that your efforts & hard work were well-received!

Crazy Hat Day

Benjamin's preschool planned a Crazy Hat Day the first week of October. Dave took the reins with this one and came up with the idea for a Thomas-themed creation (genius!). I helped with cutting and pasting, but Dave totally rocked this project! We were both surprised that he actually kept the hat on - both that evening and during preschool. Miss Julie, his teacher, told me it was the most creative hat at school that day. Benjamin really dug this thing; in fact, just recently it met its demise because it was loved *that* much.

Bob's Pumpkin Patch

I wish I could say this was a magical day out at Bob's Pumpkin Farm. The temperature was in the low 70s, it was sunny, and there were a million fun things to do and see there; it was the perfect combination for a perfect fall, family outing. Unfortunately, I was feeling very pregnant that day, Dave was tired and Benjamin was hopped up on crazy. While I was using the restroom, he bolted into a field where they were shooting targets with projectile corn (thankfully he was not hurt, but it was quite the scare). After a few rounds of chasing, chastising, crying, wrangling and such, an epic meltdown - ultimately and sadly - had us heading for the car. Alas, not every day is perfect... but you all know that, right?

Showered with Love

Seriously? Look at this amazing, bountiful spread! Everything looked and tasted good; the pictures don't really even do this beautiful buffet justice. I loved it all, but my favorite? The baked French Toast was HEAVENLY. In fact, I may or may not have gone back for a third helping. My doctor told me I needed to be eating more, so I was just following her advice, really.

Awesome cupcakes, puff balls galore and so many thoughtful gifts - what a day!

Friends and family - surrounded by so many amazing and wonderful women that morning. I felt all the love and so much gratitude.

Mom :)

Here are my lovely & uber-talented friends, Rochelle & Suzanne. They were the creative directors behind this wonderful shower. Fun fact: I have known Rochelle 10 years!! (Everett singles ward days) and Suzanne since 2003 (Halls Lake singles ward days). It must have been divine providence that we all ended up in the same ward years later. Oh, and yeah, they basically rock.

Halloween Party #1 - Beverly Park Ward

Dave's brother, Jon, and his wife, Aubri, just moved in to our old ward. We attended their ward's big Halloween bash because 1) we could introduce J&A to some of the lovely folks there 2) Linda invited us, and 3) Beverly Park knows how to throw an outstanding ward party!

Halloween Party #2 - Seattle Hill Ward Carnival

I wish I had more pictures of our ward party, but because Dave was manning the cupcake walk, I was tasked with running after Benjamin. We all dressed up this time: Benjamin was a NASA astronaut (thanks to Aunt Julie's costume collection), I was a pregnant witch (complete with long blonde wig and black/orange-striped socks) and Dave was a rockstar/Billy Joe Armstrong (complete with skinny tie, black wig, and studded belt).

After a soaking rain stopped, the Trunk R' Treat was a fun romp in candy collection. Once inside, we discovered a variety of carnival booths which were sponsored by each of the youth groups: Whack-a-Shark (or Deacon - put on by the 12-13 yr old YM); Kissing Booth (guess how many Hershey Kisses - put on by the Laurels); Photo Booth with cute props-on-a-stick (put on by the Mia Maids); Donut-on-a String (put on by the Teachers Quorum) and of course, the hugely successful Creepy Cupcake Walk (put on by Dave's Priest Quorum). The cupcake walk was Benjamin's favorite; we spent so much time walking/dancing around those letters, he won about 8 times... only one cupcake though. :)

The big finale is what I captured in the pictures. Stephanie Johnson, a BYU Cougarette (dance team) alumna, was the teacher of our master class: "How to do the Thriller Dance and Look as Silly as Possible". It was all kinds of awesomeness, as old and young alike joined in the claw moves, hunches and lurching. Surprisingly, Benjamin took to this group line dancing like a fish to water - he LOVED it. And worked the room like a seasoned politician. It was classic.

And, with that, I wrap up our crazy October. There are a lot of things I didn't document in pictures, so sadly, they are not discussed here. With 9 days left until the arrival of Baby Girl Goodwin, I am hoping that I have some moments to jot down at least another blog or two. After November 13th, we go from the well-known & well-accustomed model of a family of three to a family of FOUR. It's going to be wonderful, exciting and terrifying - all at once!

August Pictorial

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Here's our month, in pictures:

SEAFAIR

I've wanted to go watch the Blue Angels show for years but have never made it happen. Because Benjamin is old enough now to appreciate it, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Leaving later than I had hoped - as always, these days - I got stuck in the epic traffic entailed with Seafair. I chose Groveland Park, a beachfront spot on Mercer Island, for our viewing fun... along with a few hundred of my closest friends. Finding some parking was super tricky and I wore the wrong shoes (cork wedges) to navigate the very steep hill down to the beach, but I was getting so excited as I heard the planes zipping overhead. Taking Benjamin to places like this is challenging because he's not a big fan of sitting still and he loves the sand & water - and his silly mommy didn't think to bring a suit or toys to let him go wild. Despite all of that, we had a fun time basking in the beautiful, sunny afternoon and watching the dynamic show.

HOT-HOT-HOT

Seattle is an awesome place to be in the summertime because it's a gorgeous, temperate climate - except when the thermometer shoots into the stratosphere and most homes don't have A/C. Benjamin camped out on the floor in our bedroom to share in the one fan we have. His setup was rather cozy; with six blankets folded over to create a cushy bed, I sometimes I curled up on it for a quick cat nap.

FIRST MOVIE!

Thanks to the Regal Cinemas Summer $1 Movie program, I was game to try out Benjamin's first big screen viewing. The 10am showing of Rio, though not a familiar cast of characters to my little guy, was a big success! Granted, I brought an arsenal of treats to help the cause, the bright colors and infectious music literally had him dancing in the aisles. As the 90-minute film came to an end, he was getting pretty antsy, but it was a fun experiment which we both enjoyed!

CHUCKING ROCKS

Had some time to burn one afternoon, so we headed over to McCollum Park. Inevitably, we ended up near water - a little creek runs through a wooded area in the park. And so we hung out creekside, where Benjamin thoroughly enjoyed the natural surroundings and hunted for the perfect rocks for chucking.

FERRY ADVENTURES

Because I work from home, it's so easy to just spend all of our days at home. One day, rather spontaneously, I packed us up for an adventure on the high seas... well, the high seas of Puget Sound. We parked the car on the Edmonds waterfront and purchased walk-on tickets for the Edmonds-Kingston ferry. Armed with his sippy cup, Benjamin took in all of the sites of the boat, water and occasional fly-by of a seaplane. Oh, and after a week of Shark Week programming, he kept looking out the window and exclaiming, "Ooh, there's a shark!". Fun day, fun times!

REFUGE @ PHANTOM LAKE

On a particularly hot Friday, Dave called and said they were shutting down the office and everyone was heading over to his grandma's house in Bellevue. She lives on a lake so we could just sit in the water all day, without the insanity of the crowds found at public beaches. I ditched what we were doing at home and we headed straight for the relief of those cool waters. It was a relaxing day and a special treat to spend a Friday with Dave, just hanging out and having fun with the family.

EVERGREEN STATE FAIR

I love the fair. It's such a fun, exciting place that holds a lot of special memories for me. Again, it's one of those things that I always mean to do, but never seem to get around to it. When I got a call from my SIL, Aubri, that opening day was free, we again dropped what we were doing (sensing a theme here?), and met her for a day at the fair.

Roller coaster rides, up-close views of Honey Buns the Cow, and strawberry slushies were just a few of the things that we enjoyed that day. Unfortunately, we were encroaching on Benjamin's nap time, so we had to deal with some meltdown moments... but nonetheless, it was a fun day at the fair!

VICTORIA GETAWAY

Dave and I have been talking about getting away for a long time now. Besides a brief stint as chaperones at our stake's youth vonference in 2010, we have never been away from Benjamin. Thanks to the kind offer from my BIl & SIL, Jon & Aubri, we were able to slip away for an overnight adventure to Victoria, BC. I've wanted to go there for ages, so I planned the excursion. Unfortunately, I was battling my horrible cough which put a slight damper on the fun for me. But, despite the health issues, it was so nice to spend some time alone with Dave. We milled around town, noshed at a local deli, took pictures like any good tourists, took in a sea-life show at the Underwater Gardens and watched a football game as well as a terrifically-terrible Sci-Fi movie while eating lots of treats... all in the comfort of our free-upgrade, enormous hotel suite. For me, the two highlights of the trip were the 3-hour ferry trip (Speiden Island was an awesome treat!) and a very spontaneous, late-night 80s flash mob that happened in the park just outside our hotel window. Although it was just one night, I loved being able to spend time together and and have our little adventure in Canada.

A Sporty, Busy Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:49:00 +0000

Golf & Auction

Friday was the big day: we held the charity golf tournament and silent auction at Snohomish Golf Course to benefit my mom's cancer treatment fund. It's only been in the works for the last 6 weeks and at times I wondered if we would even be able to pull it off. Thanks to a lot of hard work, a little luck, many hands and loads of faith, things came together with relatively few hitches.

It was a success with 40 players and gobs of awesome donations for the auction, but it was a very long day out on the greens in 90 degree heat for me. This pregnant lady doesn't do well in heat, so it was a bit challenging; I was sweaty hot mess by 11am. While some tolerated the heat better than I, everyone was thirsty. After setting things up, I made several trips to get bottled water... and I may have also stopped at Pilchuck Drive-In for one of their famous shakes. OK. I did - and I seriously considered bathing in that creamy, chocolate-malty goodness.

*Our Motley Planning Crew*

Random pics of helpers, family, golfers & one darn cute Ellie

And here's a BIG thank-you to all of the people who donated time, money, talents, goods and anything else in support of our efforts. I'm not a big fan of this trite phrase, but it really did "take a village" to pull this gargantuan event off!

Lake Stevens Sprint Triathlon

Last year, I competed in this local triathlon and while it was tough and like nothing I'd ever done before, I felt so proud of myself for simply finishing. When Dave told he was a little jealous watching from the sidelines last year - wishing that he could have been out there too - I told him to sign up for the 2012 event even though we couldn't do it together. He didn't have a ton of time to train (maybe a month?); the cycling would be no problem for him (9 miles in the race and he does a 40-mile wide on weekends just for fun), but he began to run (which is at the bottom of his 'favorites list') AND he taught himself proper swimming technique via YouTube. And you know what? He totally rocked it - which would not come as a shock to anyone that knows him. And as I sat, taking my turn with Benjamin on the sidelines, I have to admit I was a little jealous that I wasn't out there with him. Well, everything except the swim...

The big finish - 1:17 (3rd in his division)! Way better than my 1:33 from last year... but again, no surprise. I'm so proud of him for putting the effort in, facing the daunting task of learning some new skills and competing in the race. It was a very good day as Benjamin & I cheered for him as the crossed that big blue FINISH line.

Asthma - My Dirty Little Secret

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 05:58:00 +0000

You know that phrase, "walking through the valley of the shadow of death"? Well, that is about the best way I can describe the last several weeks of my life. I haven't been up to much of anything, including my desire to blog.

Since I was about 10, I've known I have had a situational form of asthma, typically brought on by a severe allergy to animal dander or a respiratory infection. Fast forward a couple of years and it suddenly morphed into the real deal, with an official diagnosis: "Michelle, you have asthma". I have hated admitting that to anyone because it makes me feel weak. And, for the most part, I've done a good job of hiding (or maybe denying I have) it because I have magically kept it at bay for a long time. Several of my old prescriptions have expired without being used much at all.

However, I now find myself very pregnant (27.5 wks) and have been struggling to breathe for the last 6 of those weeks. It's frustrating, unnerving and even a bit scary at times - even I take the ability to breathe freely for granted at times. After several doctor visits, a couple rounds of steroids (super-low dose due to the baby) and a slew of different inhalers, you'd think I would be breathing like a champ. But alas, no such luck.

The inability to breathe has taken away my ability to sleep well, think well, work efficiently, any desire to do housework - not to mention totally messing with my emotional well-being. My energy stores are abysmal and I think I've pulled some muscles from all of the intense coughing, which happens round the clock. I'm normally an upbeat kind of person, but I'm struggling to stay positive when I just feel like such a mess. Things got bad on Sunday (coping-wise); Dave had tons of meetings and so I was rushing to get things ready and get to church, only to turn around because I could not function without one of my meds, which I'd forgotten. Running late, I had to park extremely far from the door. Grabbing Benjamin in one arm and the ginormous church bag in the other, I literally ran to get into the meeting before someone else got up to direct the hymns. After leading the music in a stuffy, hot chapel (that environment does not lend itself well to breathing easily), I went to take Benjamin to nursery and he slapped me across the face. At that point, I was seriously questioning if I could stay for the block. Dave took him to nursery and then we went to Sunday School. I slipped out to take something to the car and then plopped down in the driver's seat. Turning on the ignition, I flipped the air conditioner on turbo-high and then, most uncharacteristically for me, had a very good, ugly, cathartic cry. Fifteen minutes later, I headed back in, somewhat composed.

The next step in combatting this problem is to see a specialist - a pulmonologist. I'm terrified to walk in to the unknown world of weird tests and new drugs, but I'm so desperate for a solution I've swallowed what little pride I have in exchange for clear, functioning lungs. Unfortunately, most specialists are super busy with their niche clientele; this place is no exception - they can't get me in until next week. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but try sucking in your oxygen through a straw and you will understand why it sounds like an eternity to me.

And you may ask - how did I find time to blog about this yucky state of affairs? Because sleep is so elusive and difficult, I dread going to bed so I use any number of stall tactics to avoid it.

So, that my friends, is my dirty little secret... and confessing this big weakness, though scary and uncomfortable, helps me cope with in it a weird way. Once I get things under control, I hope to get back to a regular blog-posting schedule, devoid of these random confessionals.

Out & About

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 16:28:00 +0000

While working from home, it's so easy to get logged on to the computer and let Benjamin just run wild & play with his toys. But, I've been making a great effort to actually get Benj & I out of the house on occasion. It is easier said than done, but here are a few of our "Out & About" days:

~lunch date~

We had to run some errands so I stopped to grab a Macho Burrito at Azteca and then we zipped across the street to one of Benjamin's favorite places, the Mill Creek Library Park. In between stealing bites of chicken, beans, salsa & chips, Benjamin was scrambling up the climbing wall, flying down the slide, running around and hurling wood chips into the air. I count that as an awesome and most successful lunch date with my little guy!

striking a pose

wood! chips!

~sand & water~

Willis Tucker is our go-to play place because it is 1) close to home, 2) has a ginormous sand box, and 3) supplies hours of fun in the splash pad, which Benjamin calls the sprinkler! As I've said in the past, this kid LOVES water.

our little digger

on a mission

lots & lots of sprinklers!

"mom, i'm having so much fun!"

the sweet tastes of summer

"Save Our Mom"

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 17:01:00 +0000

This week, my minutes, hours and days have been monopolized by the work to get a very important fundraising effort off the ground: my mom is sick and needs our help.

The long and short of it is this (which I posted on Facebook):

A humble call for help: In 1999, my mom was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Multiple Myeloma, but after a successful stem cell transplant it went into remission. However, it has returned; at this point, her only option is another transplant in Jan 2013. Unfortunately, the cost has skyrocketed to $425K; insurance will cover most of it, but we must come up with $25K before they will even book the transplant. We have tentatively scheduled a charity golf tournament for Friday, September 7th at the Snohomish Golf Course. Anyone interested in golfing, working as an event volunteer or donating items for the silent auction would be wonderful and appreciated more than you know. I'm not one to ask for help but I know that my family can't do this alone.

The amount of work involved with this has been incredibly massive. In the last several days, we've started putting together a golf tournament, a website, fliers, donation sites, bank accounts, and so much more. And the tournament is just one of several events we have in the works. I think my average bedtime this week has been around 1am, and only because I collapsed from exhaustion.

But, the response to this call has been incredible. We've had numerous people say they want to volunteer, others who want to golf or kindly donate items for our auction. Last night, I received an email for a valuable silent auction donation that made me cry; a big feat, as I am not a big "crier". Somebody else has already given a sizable cash donation for the treatment fund. We have been so humbled and overwhelmed by the great support and love from family, friends and our community.

If you want to know more, check out our newly-hatched blog/website, Save Our Mom.

hodgepodgery

noreply@blogger.com (Chelle) — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 14:34:00 +0000

What happens when you have a busy life and can't seem to etch out the time to blog about it? You have lots of pictures in your hard drive and have no idea how to blog about them all in this lifetime. This is where I find myself... so here is my patchwork blog with loads of randomness.

Seattle Summer Gear

This is a Seattle kid, through and through: the "shorts & mittens" combo is as Northwest as socks and sandals... well, almost.

Dance Party with the Cousins

We had the girls over one Friday night so that Bracan & Rachel could do some work down in Seattle. We ended the evening on a high note; they "danced like dervishes" while Dave strummed punk-rock versions of Primary songs on his guitar. "Do As I'm Doing" has never been so cool.

Playing at Willis Tucker with the Williams

Our local park started a farmer's market on Friday afternoons. We headed up to see what it was all about. Much to our surprise, we ran into Bracan, Rachel & the girls. With an afternoon of cousin/aunt/uncle fun, digging in the sand, stomping in the mud and running around with sheer abandon, I can almost hear Benjamin say "Best Day Ever!".

Rainy Day at Willis Tucker Park

As you can see, we just have to go with the flow (and by flow, I mean copious amounts of rain). We had been cooped up inside for far too long, so we piled in the car and headed to the park when the skies parted. Sure enough, as soon as he got in the sand pit, the rains started again. And, you know, we just went with it; got a little soggy, but it was a much-needed day at the park.

Potty Training Antics

As we near preschool days, I am desperately trying to get this kiddo out of diapers. We've tried different things, to no avail and lots of Resolve cleaner. But, he really likes the underwear he picked out and loves to wear them, even if it is not in the conventional way.

Forest Park Splash Pad

Following closely behind his monkey blanket, recreational water play is one of his favorite things. Oh, and trains (he's swinging on a train model at the park, at right). After changing him into his swim stuff, he was in the water for two full hours... in fact, I had to drag him away, kicking, screaming & shivering from the chilly dip.

Top 5!

If I remember correctly, I believe that our June in Seattle made it into the Top 5 for one of the rainiest Junes on record. You can't tell very well, but it was pouring in the picture at left. I guess the benefit of such a record is the grass looks very, very green this summer!

Our recent Relief Society Meeting

This was one of our most popular RS meetings ever! We had sisters in the ward do 3-5 minute mini-presentations on things like quick hemming tips, how to wear a scarf, proper exercise technique, how to make laundry soap, DIY baby headbands, how to make the perfect pie crust, etc. It was such a fun night... highly recommend it for anyone who is looking for a clever night for their next meeting!

Recent Sewing Fun

I whipped up these for my SIL, Azzlinn, who is expecting a little girl in September. I made two fleece, machine-quilted & embroidered baby blankets; three embroidered, flannel burb cloths; baby booties, and much more! I had to leave the party early, but I heard she really liked everything.