Notes from the School Psychologist

Making Lemonade, Blog Posts, and Whatnot

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:29:00 +0000

I accidentally got up at 6am today instead of 7am, and did not realize it until I was fully dressed, ready to go to school. Super. So in the interest of being a good time manager, I bring to you, my monthly post.*

I was recently assigned a new school, which I will affectionately call Stepford Elementary School. Now, I am typically assigned to the schools no one wants, by request. If someone makes a face like they are smelling something bad when I say the school’s name, all the better. I like being at cocktail parties and saying, “I coaxed a child wielding a knife down from a flagpole today. (Sips cocktail) How was your day?" I enjoy working with high-needs populations because I feel like I can make a difference. I can see kids whose parents are well-intentioned, but overwhelmed, and can not take breaks from their 3 jobs to take their child to a counselor or learning specialist. Sure, there is a lot of “action” at these schools, but I have seen principals work tirelessly to make these schools better for the kids, and there are a lot of really innovative ideas and programs that inspire me on a daily basis.

So you can imagine my surprise as I walk up to Stepford Elementary and hear a parent out front say, “You know, Douglas, I just really didn’t like the colonial architecture so we didn’t buy the 4-bedroom.” Where am I? Is this the same town? I had never this high up the hills of my urban district before. I was not in Kansas anymore (read Kansas with a Latino accent, please).

I am greeted by the secretary and directed to a fancy schmancy sign-in computer that logs your time of entry and prints out your nametag all pretty for you. For a non-educator, that doesn’t sound fancy, but trust me, usually there are 47 binders for signing in and you can’t find the one you need or a pen. I’m taken to my office, and there is a computer, an Internet connection, AND! AND! an electrical outlet. At my other school, I engage in this long trip wire situation across the auditorium to plug in my little space heater. It keeps it warm, and it keeps the kids from sneaking up on me.

As I visit classes, I hear the following:

“That homework was the funnest EVER!”

“Yea! Long Division!”

“This bookmark I’m making is for my business, AJ’s Bookmarks. EVERYONE has a business these days. Check me out at my website.” (from the mouth of a 10 year old, mind you)

“The PTA raised 2 million dollars for that building.”

“We have an emergency. Clara in second grade wrote something offensive.” (I read this offensive thing. I think I was using the wrong lens to interpret it because I was impressed that a) she wrote it on PAPER, not on public property! And b) she used correct punctuation in replacing the “g” on $%@$ing with an apostrophe. Good for you, Clara!)

And most peculiar of all: No one locks anything. I asked for the key to my office and they looked at me funny. The teachers just LEAVE THEIR PURSES BY THEIR DESKS. Envelopes collecting money are left on the doors of the classroom. Kids are raising their hands and politely saying brilliant things and making connections like, “This reminds me of when I lived in China for the summer and saw a Bengal Tiger.” What is going on here?

I felt like a kid visiting her rich aunt and uncle for the first time. Ooh! They have a POOL! (They do, by the way, also have a pool. The school. Not my aunt and uncle.). How can this school be in the same public school district as the others where I work? I obviously knew that some schools’ PTAs make up for the lack of district funding and can deliver better services, and I knew there was a difference between private and public, and yes, I've read 8 hojillion articles on the disparity in education, but I had forgotten how stark the contrast is until I saw it again with my own two eyes.

Sigh. Now what? I guess I’m off to my other school now to try to help my students achieve the same high standards even thought they didn’t have equal developmental conditions and they certainly don’t have equal schools.

Bitter, Party of 1? You’re table is ready. Who me? I’ll have lemonade. I’m going to figure out a way to make it better. No hero complex here. But if I start playing “Gansta’s Paradise” on the way to school and start fancying myself a Michelle Pfeiffer who will use radical teaching methods such as “listening”, in an effort to save the poor children, do slap me.

*I don’t mean to have a monthly post! I have been going down a shame spiral for not posting. But remember how I said if you didn’t hear from me for a while, I was probably not unlike that kitten hanging from a branch?

Free To Be You and Me (and Pee?)

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:53:00 +0000

A big part of my job is doing observations of kids in their learning environments. I find it shocking that there are psychologists who don’t visit the kid’s school when they are testing for learning disabilities, or any disability for that matter. To me, it seems like common sense that if you want to see how someone learns you go to where they learn all day. It would be like someone whose never seen you at work evaluating your job performance at your doctor’s office. There’s no context and you act differently. Recently, I had a school refuse to let me observe a child in their classroom when the referral is about the child’s attention problems in the classroom and classroom performance. Okay…I’ll just guess how he's doing in the classroom? *sigh*

However, another school allowed me to observe a little gal this week and I learned so much. Almost TOO much.

For all of you non-California, non-Bay Area peeps, there are some areas (coughcouchBerkeleycoughcough) and schools that really believe in letting children be free. Some of their schools are set up to be overly child-centered (read: permissive). I’m all about letting kids play and learn without super rigid regulations, but there are some rules needed. Kids need boundaries.

So you can imagine my surprise when I was observing a private school Kindergarten class playing on the schoolyard, and a little girl drops her pants and pees in the garden by the play structure. I was not even sent there to observe that girl, but clearly one’s eye gets drawn to a child squatting at recess. I turn to the director standing next to me, in horror, and she simply says with a neutral expression, “Oh, she’s peeing.” Doesn’t say a word to the girl, then, in the next breath, tells me how much the children love to “get messy here and just play in the dirt.” Right. With the urine. Neat. And with that, the little girl pulls up her pants and gets back on the swings and the director tells me it’s time for snack.

Well alrighty then. You just can’t get this kind of information when you see a kid in your nice little therapy office. Hm. I wonder why this other little gal I was observing at this same school has difficulties following rules at home...I mean, her parents must have some crazy rule that she has to pee in the toilet or something. Sheesh.

Finding the Proper Motivation

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:52:00 +0000

My dissertation was on adolescent motivation for school, and it has been read and enjoyed by ones of people. I was told when I graduated from UC Berkeley that every time someone downloaded my dissertation, I would get $1 in royalties. I have, to date, received $1.*

Because I am feeling generous today, I will give you the results for free, in one sentence. I will spare you the 118 beautiful pages of pure data and analysis that has riveted one reader to date.* Guess what?

Adolescents with positive relationships with their parents have better grades regardless if they are Mexican-American or White.**

Someone please, ALERT THE MEDIA about this.

I’m allowed to put the “dis” in my dissertation, because enough time has passed that I won’t take it personally that it could have been published in the Journal of Duh. But what I will say is that the results do influence my beliefs about my students. Sometimes, we think of adolescents as more influenced by their peers, but I’m here to tell you that even your most snarly disgruntled moody teen still wants his or her parents’ approval. I do this activity with adolescents where I give them a survey of things that might motivate them to do well in school. I swear, the number one “reward” or "motivator" they pick, no matter what age they are, is a positive call home to parents.

I know! So cheap! So easy! Why don’t we educators do this more often? It makes the kid feel good, and if you can manage to block the school’s number (so the parent picks up), and you can manage not to get hung up on when you say, “This is so-and-so from your son’s school…” (because they think their kid did something bad), it really works. Go on, give it a whirl this week.

And if you need more ideas for what makes a kid tick, try my fancy, non-researched-based, but helpful, Adolescent Motivation Survey with a kid and see how it goes.

Student: ____________________ Date: _________
Different students like different things. As your teacher/counselor, I hope to get to know you individually. This survey will help me understand what you like and don’t like about school, so I can work with you/your teachers to make school more enjoyable for you. There are no right or wrong answers, just complete the sentences with your ideas

1. In my free time, I like to….
2. If I had $5, I would buy…
3. The thing I like most about school is…
4. The thing I do not like about school is…
5. When my teachers pay attention to me…
6. When my classmates pay attention to me…
7. When I am frustrated, I like when teachers…
8. My favorite subject is…
9. My least favorite subject is…
10. I wish my teachers knew that…
11. After I finish my work, I like to…
12. When my teachers call my parents…
13. When I don’t want to do something in class, I…
14. You can tell when something is too hard for me because…
15. The behavior I am working on as a part of my IEP is…
16. The rewards I would like to earn are…

You might just be surprised at what you find. Last time I gave this, the kid had a Behavior Plan where the reward for doing his work was “praise from teacher” and he wrote “When my teachers pay attention to me….I hate it because my friends think I’m a teacher’s pet.” Not so rewarding. I guess it’s like giving black licorice as an incentive for increasing class participation.*** It could work for some people, some might find it absolutely vile and repugnant and not know why someone would think that nasty stuff would be consumable or desirable and thus would never raise their hand to participate. I think you know which category I’m in. Bleh.

*Thanks, Dad.
**My dissertation committee argued for a long time what to call the White kids. White? Euro-American? Caucasian? I didn't care. Call my people "Pigment Challenged" for all I care, just sign off on the thing so I can graduate already.
***NFTSP does not endorse candy motivators. Except when they really work.

Call the Fire Marshall, I Need a Nap

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 04:02:00 +0000

In the spirt of last year's post Back to Work in the Public School, By the Numbers, I shall give an update one year later. And because I love data, I have calculated the percentage change over time. Nerd alert.

Number of Icebreakers: 0
This number is down 7000%. How did I do it? How did the ice get broken without me this year? How did I get away with no trust falls or snap cups? I'll tell you. I got married and changed my email and I missed the emails about the retreat. I would not recommend this strategy to others. I secretly missed the snap cup. And I just don't know if I can trust anyone on my school site to catch me if I fall off the auditorium stage wearing inappropriately high heeled shoes, like I did last year. (Yeah, no post-link to that, I was too embarrassed to write a post because I had just warned the 8th grade girls about high heeled shoe dangers.)

Number of Schools Assigned to Me: 2
Down 33%! TWO? Seriously? How is this possible? Most school psychologists have 3-5 schools. I cannot tell you my secret, or I fear I will get another school assigned to me.

Ratio of School Psychologist (Me!) to Students: 1:700
Less schools, more students. Go figure.

Number of Dead Rodents/Swarms* of Ants Discovered in Office: 0
100% decline. Hallelujah!

Number of Crying Children Consoled: 5**
This ratio is up because we have two new Kindergarten classes this year at one of my schools. It is a Spanish immersion program so there is NO ENGLISH at all in the classes. I want to spend every day in there to practice my Spanish, which is intermediate at best. I have imagined the following conversation between me and my principal:

P: We need to talk about how much time you're spending in the Kindergarten class
Me: But I'm learning so much! Today, we read a story about a frog and I learned how to say "jump!"
P: *Sigh* Yes, but I'm getting complaints that you are raising your hand in class and blurting out answers to the teacher's questions for the children.
Me: I just want to LEARN!!!

Perhaps I should enroll in some sort of class. But the Kindergarten pace is so perfect for me. I felt for the little ones who didn't speak any English. They kept saying to me, "Why are you talking in Spanish? I don't understand! I KNOW you speak English!" What gave it away? My Lithuanian-Irish tan?

Number of Quotes that Made Me Wish I Was a Kindergarten Teacher: 8539573489

This group of girls was sitting at a table drawing and I asked on of the girls, "Hablas Espanol?" She said, "I speak poquito Espanol" and her little friend got so excited and said, "Me too! I speak mosquito Espanol too!"

This one little guy was clearly exhausted at the end of the day, with all the lining up, following new rules, and all that drawing and singing and playing, and he said to me (In the forbidden English): "Dang. I wish the fire marshall would come and tell us there's too many kids up in this school so I could go home and take a NAP." Amen, brother. Kindergarten is exhausting, especially when you're trying to figure out what everyone is saying all day. But for the first time in a long time, I came home energized, not totally wiped out. Why? Because spending time in Kindergarten evokes all my fantasies of primary prevention of school failure.

(whips out soap box)

So much of our profession is build around the "wait to fail" model of service delivery, in which we must label children as "disabled" in order for them to receive special services. Not all kids who have learning problems have learning disabilities. But when special education is the only intervention, we school psychologists get to be the evil gatekeeper of what is perceived as the only way to help a kid learn to read.

(steps down).

Whoa. Where was I? Ah yes, cute attack. There was this one little girls who spent the first 45 minutes of class crying, and periodically weeped throughout the day, when she realized she was STILL THERE. She said not one word all day (and she spoke Spanish, so it wasn't that). At the end of the turned to me as she was leaving and looked up at me with her big brown doe eyes, hugged my leg, and said, "Hasta Manana."

To take a phrase from Mrs. Mimi, I DIE.

*Or is "swarm" only for bees? Nest of ants? Family? Pod? Hm. Either way, yea for sanitation!
**My new friend, Michaele has posted a faboo list for parents and teachers about How to help kids transition to Kindergarten

It Aint Easy Being Green

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:45:00 +0000

Every year, I get to be a mentor to a new school psychologist in my district. I really enjoy doing it, but I have to fight the urge to give them a little notebook and say, “Write that down” after everything I say. Wouldn't that be fun? I got to do it one time before in my life, the day before I got married and my sweet sweet friend, Leigh would write down all the last minute things we had to do before the big day. "I forgot to get a guest book! Write that down." It was so fun, but I suppose it’s a tad much for people who don't know my sense of humor yet. See also: "Get me coffee! Just kidding. Not really."

ANYHOO. After my first day back in the school district the other day, I came home and told my husband I got assigned my new mentee! He said, “You got assigned one of those underwater animals that are kind of like whales but almost extinct?” Not MANATEE, silly. Mentee. Husband is so precious.

So the next day my manatee and I were talking about all the fun that is my school district (Yes! You really do get to use a 1960s card catalog to find student folders! You’ll feel like a secretary in Mad Men! Isn’t that why you got your Ph.D.?), and she got quiet for a second and I thought I’d taken my sarcasm too far. I can do that from time to time. Then she said, “You know, I just realized that you are the one who writes that school psychology blog. Um, you’re not going to write about me on your blog are you?” Of course not, sweetie. Only I am.

But rest assured, I will not write about her, per se, but perhaps just some general tips for brand new school psychologists (and teachers!). So, here are my top three mantras for all the virtual manatees out there, starting out their first year. Repeat after me:

1) My work will still be there tomorrow. It will never be “done” because kids are never “done” learning. Don’t make yourself crazy by working so much overtime that you burn yourself out. I’m not saying don’t work hard and be one of those “my contract says I only have to work 7 hrs” people, but don’t kill yourself trying to do more than humanly possible.

2) I must free myself of “Why” if I want to work in a school district. Why do we still use card catalogs? Why do I have to log the same information in 6 different places? Why are we waiting for kids to fail enough to be eligible for special education? Young Jedi, you will make yourself crazy asking why we do all the ridiculous things we do in bureaucracies. The better question is, “What can I do to get around this dumb policy to really help the kid?”

3) Consult, Consult, Consult. And also: Consult. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Consult. Seriously. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Plus, people like to help. You like to help, right? Guess what? So do others. If you are thinking about a problem with a kid, parent, staff member, lesson, assessment, anything late at night, wondering what to do, that is your cue to consult with someone.

And in the interest of being green, I shall also recycle a few tips for new teachers and school psychologists. Recycling. So hot right now:

What to Post on Your Classroom Walls to Support Positive Behavior

Checklist for New Teachers

Making Positive Reinforcement Your Best Friend

Dealing with Oppositional Kids

How I Survived my First Year as a School Psychologist

Wow. Saving the manatees and recycling all in one post. Perhaps this post was brought to you courtesy of my training at Berkeley. Now it’s your turn, people—any tips you wish someone had told you in your first year teaching or school psychologizing*?

*New verb. Just decided. Write that down, young manatee.

Can I Get a What What for My Internet Best Friend?

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:25:00 +0000

I have a secret Internet best friend. It may be a bit premature, but I have ordered the “Best Friends” heart necklace, in which one of us gets half of the heart saying “Be Fri” and the other gets the half that says “st ends.” No need to alert my husband of my inappropriate Internet relationship, it’s strictly work-related. I am talking about my good friend, Mrs. Mimi, teacher and author of the blog, Its Not All Flowers and Sausages (linky thing not working: here it is: www.itsnotallflowersandsausages.blogspot.com)

Not only is she fabulous, but she has just written a book about her adventures in teaching 2nd grade that made me miss not one, but TWO train stops when I was reading it on my morning commute. I give it a TWO MISSED STOP rating*. My highest yet. Let’s put it this way, I only missed ONE stop in reading my favorite book of all time, Jane Eyre. So basically, it’s better than a classic, at least if you are an educator. It captures all the delicious nonsense in schools that I so enjoy writing about on this blog, mixed in with tales of the joys of working with such wonderful little friends every day in schools.

And just to show off how we are BFFs, the book, entitled "It's Not All Flowers and Sausages: My Adventures in 2nd Grade" hasn’t even come out yet….nerdy me got an advanced copy through a twitter contest. I swear, I’m not stalking this woman. We just share a similar love of writing about finding the lighter side of working in the public schools.

You can get your copy now on preorder, and it comes out September 1st—just in time for a good laugh as you return to school. It’s available here at Amazon.com.

Just be prepared to miss your train stop or embarrass yourself laughing out loud.

*Incidentally, I could also give it a 47 laugh-out-loud-and-have-commuters-stare-at-you rating, if you prefer.

Must. Write. About. Kittens.

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:02:00 +0000

As promised, this post involves kittens.

Okay, so it’s T-minus 2 days and counting until I return to work in the public school. I am one of those people who has always been in school, or been working in a school, so my new year always starts in August. I buy the August to August calendars, and think of the beginning of school as a good time to make New Year’s Resolutions.

1) As per last post, I am vowing to Be Positive! in the face of dysfunction. This year, I will put the “fun” in dysfunction! For those who have been following my Facebook Fan Page, I have been trying to keep things light in fighting a Bureaucracy Monster, who requests me to do such tasks as going back into time to get a tuberculosis shot. I will not let The System keep me down.

2) I vow to keep my office décor fun and friendly, yet making it clear that I work in an inspirational animal poster-free environment.*

Ah….why are you so friggin’ CUTE little kitten? This one will be difficult.

3) I vow to try and be less sarcastic when confronted with bureaucratic nonsense that keeps me from working with students. I’m told sarcasm is rooted in anger, and is a sublimation of aggression. Well then. Isn’t that great. I guess then, that I just love all the paperwork involved in working in special education. What? My resolution doesn’t start until Wednesday. Just had to get it out of my system. *Sigh* I guess this means I can’t use this poster to decorate my office this year, as it would be a double-violation (animal poster and sarcasm):

4) I vow to keep my blog up to date. But if I disappear for a while, know that I am holding onto a branch somewhere, looking cute and hanging in there.

* Also, hoping to start this school year in a dead animal in office-free environment.

If My Name is in the Email Subject Heading, I am Dead

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:32:00 +0000

I got my first email about returning to one of the school districts where I work as a school psychologist yesterday. Seriously, it’s August already? How did that happen?

I am always mixed about going back to school. I will miss being a “lady who lunches” in the summer (though that’s a myth, I still work all summer, just not in the schools). But I love the back to school shopping and the freshly sharpened pencils and the decorating of my janiors closet office. I usually choose a solid color for the walls, with a classy border, and refrain from all posters involving eagles or kittens or other animal-motivation. I just don’t think kids are gonna come in the office with their troubles fixed by inspirational quotes about soaring above things or “hanging in there!”

Anyhoo, where was I going with this? Ah yes, the email.

I got kind of excited about going back and seeing my colleagues, and I was inspired to check my district email. Turns out, I was apparently on a one-woman district email-strike from April to June, because there were a zillion emails I hadn’t seen yet. Some were marked urgent, but apparently were not. This might be a good time management strategy—if you don’t check your email, the urgent emails go away and people figure out their urgent problem on their own! I assume anything truly urgent would involve a phone call.

As I scanned the emails, there was one district employee who I can only assume is the PR voice of the district who had a lot to say. As I clicked through the emails, I saw a theme. The news about our district wasn’t so great. Budget cuts. Pending layoffs. How to get legal representation for our impending budget cuts and pending layoffs. Shooting of a student. And every once in a while, a teacher had died and their memorial service was advertised. WOW. Is that all the news we have in our district? Depressing.

Surely there is some good news about our district?! I know at my school, there are many wonderful things being done for kids. But I guess like the regular news, it’s all bad news all the time? And then at the end of the news, there’s a story about a crazy cat lady trying to get people to adopt kittens or something and we’re supposed to be like, “OH, everything is fine now that I saw that 2 second human interest feature.”*

So I guess that’s part of why I write this blog. I am striving to be that crazy cat lady, trying to sell the idea that it’s not all so bad! Right. So my New School Year’s Resolution is to post more positive stories. I know, the next-stop-dysfunction-junction posts are always a sure hit, and you know I can’t let go of ones like this and this and this.

But I will promise you this: my next post WILL have a kitten in it.

*True story. After an hour of reporting on the Columbine high school shooting, my local news anchor actually used the phrase, “On a lighter note, we turn to Glenda with a story about a man who taught his cat to ride his bicycle!” Super! The cat and the man are riding out rest of their lives together. I feel great now!

Judgy Jugerson Gets a Karmic Punch in the Face

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:26:00 +0000

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and commute with 8 hojillion people to work over the Bay Bridge. This allows me lots of “think time” and time to judge what bumper stickers people put on their cars.* In my recent survey of bumper car stickers, I would say that about 9 out of 10 people in the Bay Area supported Obama (duh) and about 2 people with trucks enjoyed the likes of McCain. I also know that most Priuses (sp?) support NPR and that quite a few people enjoy broadcasting their stupid sexual nuances (e.g. “Nurses do it with patience!”) Ew.

Anyhoo…where was I going with this? Ah yes, advertisements on vehicles. I was behind this bus a while back that had a public service announcement that read:

Los ninos estan cayendo de las ventanas!

This, loosely translated, is “Children are Falling out of Windows!” There were these creepily drawn grotesque cartoon children featured, telling me in Spanish, to put screens on my windows. It was sponsored by Children’s Hospital of Oakland. I was stuck behind this bus for 45 minutes, and thus had the time to ponder:

1) Surely there isn't such a high proportion of children falling out of windows in Oakland that it necessitates an entire public service announcement? I mean, really? I mean, one is too many, but this is shocking to me that a group of people chose this theme for a PSA.

2) IF there are a high number of children falling out of windows in Oakland, unless an unusually high proportion of these children are Latino, it is kind of insulting and/or racist to think that Latino parents wouldn’t think to keep their children from falling out of windows.

I then reached a fantastic 26 miles an hour and passed the bus. Didn’t think much about it until a couple of months ago….

I was working with this 9-year-old child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the super impulsive type. We had been working on study skills, executive functioning, and self regulation (how to calm yourself down and focus). We were working on the 4th floor (Face it. you know where this is going. You want to stop reading but you can’t help yourself), and I leaned down to get some materials out of my bag and when I looked up approximately 2 seconds later, he was across the room, HALFWAY OUT THE WINDOW, feet off the ground and everything. GAK!!! I didn’t think that he would do this, because he wasn’t Latino and he didn’t give me any sort of verbal indicator, like “look at the pretty birds outside!” or anything.

Then, those creepy grotesque cartoon children from the bus popped in my head and taunted me. I cursed the school I was working in for not having friggin’ screens on their windows. Surely this is some kind of OSHA violation?!?

And then I cursed myself for mocking the advertisement a few months ago. I hate Karma. Please excuse me, I am going to equip all my windows at home with screens now, and write a strongly worded letter (with angry font, like ARIEL BOLD ITALICS) to my local school district facilities department.

The funny part of this story is that after I pulled the kid back inside and told him in my best positive request/redirection teacher voice, “That’s not safe! Feet on the ground, now!” he said, “Relax. If I fell, and I lived, I would encourage my parents not to sue you, because it wouldn’t have been your fault.” Awesome.

*In addition to calculating my gas mileage, my car does this analysis of my average speed per tank of gas. It is 24.3 miles per hour. I take the HIGHWAY to work. Feel my pain.

The Bucket List

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:13:00 +0000

It is not often that I am at a loss for words. I know, you are surprised, right? But recently, I did an assessment with a 15-year-old boy who was in a special school for kids with emotional disabilities, and part of this assessment was to interview the parent. Now, I try my best not to be judgmental about parenting.* I mean, lets face it, it is a ridiculously difficult job, especially if your child has special needs.

So I was interviewing the mom about what she thought were her son’s strengths, and she replied, “He ain’t got none.” Wow. No strengths? I tried to guide her to some non-traditional strengths in case she thought she could only answer about academic strengths (he was significantly below grade level).

Me: Um, okay…what about hobbies? Does he like to do anything special? Is he good at a sport or a hobby or something?

Parent: He likes basketball, but I don’t let him play.

Me: Erm, uh

Parent: I don’t let him play because he does too bad in school.

Me: Well, I’ve seen him play basketball here and he seems like he’s pretty good!

Parent: Not really.

Me:

Parent:

Me: Ummmmm. Well, sometimes kids are not always the best athletes, but they feel good about themselves when they improve, or when they are having fun with their friends playing basketball.

Parent: Are you saying that he has no self-esteem because I won’t let him play basketball?

Me: No, I’m just saying that kids tend to do better when they feel good about themselves in at least one area, and it doesn’t have to be school.

Parent: Oh.

Me: Let’s see, other strengths…sometimes kids are not strong in school, but are street-smart and get along well with others. How would you describe your son, Jared?

Parent: Street smart? HA! He’s street dumb. I tell him all the time.

Me:

Right. I was speechless. How could you not think of ONE single strength?

At the meeting, after I tested him, it turned out he did have some strengths. He was an artist. He made beautiful drawings. He learned well visually. He had a friend at school that he was kind to. He was also pretty resilient for having such a negative parent. I gave my schpeal about self-esteem:

Let’s imagine this table has a bunch of little buckets on it, and each one is a part of self-esteem and we can fill them up. Now, there isn’t just one single bucket called “Self-Esteem” because there are a lot of different types of self-esteem. If we want to help Jared feel good about himself, we need to think of all the buckets we can help him fill up, like “Self-Esteem in Math,” “Self-Esteem in Basketball,” "Art Self-Esteem," or “Friendship-Making Self-Esteem.” Then, if you aren’t very good at one thing, maybe reading, then you have all these other buckets that you can rely on to feel good about yourself.

Parent: I know, I am always telling him how smart he is, how great he is in basketball, and all that.

Me:

Sigh. I really hope she does.

*I had a recent slip up in being a Judgy Judgerson in the Apple store though, when a parent was screaming at her 5 year old child that she was going to “break his finger if he flipped her off again.” I wanted to intervene, but thought the mom might not appreciate my card at that moment.

Educators: Want to be published and fancy???

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:17:00 +0000

Hi Educators and fabulous blog-readers!

A while back, I mentioned that I was editing a book called "The Teachable Moment" and sent out a call for stories. For a while, I even had a fancy Amazon link to the book from this blog. Then, the economy tanked and they put the book on hold. Boo.

But you know, me, I'm all about the silver lining, so the good news is now I can extend the deadline to September 30th, 2009 for getting new stories to add to the anthology! You should write something! Here are the deets:

"The Teachable Moment" is one book in a series that Kaplan Publishing is starting on books for teachers by teachers. It is a compilation of about 20-25 stories from the field about certain themes. My theme is the Teachable Moment, which is that moment when a kid finally "gets it" or has that "aha!" moment. It doesn't have to be all "Carpe Diem!" and the kids all stand on chairs to salute your greatness as a teacher, it can be a tiny, special moment when you make that connection with a student. It's more of a story we educators would tell each other, rather than an essay on teaching. It can be funny, serious, or a bit of both.

If you're interested, submit a 4-5 page story in a word document to my email (rebecca@studentsgrow.com). There is some money in it for you too (in addition to being fancy and published!) but I'm not sure the exact amount. If you have a good teachable moment story, but you aren't sure if it would be good for the book, you are welcome to submit a story idea and I can help shape it into a story with you.

I mean really, what else are you going to do in these last few weeks before school starts again? Rest? Recover? Recharge? Nah, you should always REFLECT on your REFLECTION. That is what we do.

Awkward Conversation #247

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:12:00 +0000

As a school psychologist, I get many little notes in my mailbox when I enter my school building. They are usually cryptic and anonymous:

Check in with Darius. He’s sad

Susana wrote in her journal that she wanted to hurt herself. Can you see her?

Not signed. No last names. Detective Branstetter is on the case.*

One I got the a while back made me dread the day I had ahead:

Jim thinks he’s retarded. Can you tell him he’s not?”

Ug. The problem was, Jim was borderline mentally retarded, so he was kind of right. He is in that group of kids who are smart enough to know that they’re not as smart as other kids. Jim was a 9th grade student with an IQ of 72 (below 70 is the technical cutoff for mental retardation) and low daily living skills (how he uses his intelligence in the community, like getting around on public transit, communicating with store owners, using money, and having hobbies or leisure activities with friends). These are the kids who you don’t quite trust to go to the store by themselves. By all other accounts, they look like “normal” kids, but they have pretty slow processing and they don’t problem-solve well (academically or socially).

Right. How do I explain this one to Jim in language he can understand that won’t make him hopeless? Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, “Awkward Conversation #247”:

Dr. B: Hi Jim! Would you like to take a little break from class? You’re not in trouble.

Jim: Okay!

Dr. B: (small talk ensues) Then: Jim, I heard a teacher say that you had some worries about…erm….uh…[In my head: Don’t say retarded yet. Don’t say retarded yet]…that you had some concerns about how well you are doing in school.

Jim: Yeah, I’m retarded.

Dr. B: Who told you that you are retarded?

Jim: My brother tells me all the time. Kids call me “retard” in class.

Dr. B: Would you like me to explain what our testing said about your learning?

Jim: Okay. It will show I’m retarded.

Dr. B: [In head:Urg. It kind of will]. Let’s see!

At this point, I take out a big piece of butcher paper and lay it out on my desk. I draw a number line with numbers ranging from 0 to 100, representing IQ. Keep in mind, Jim got a 72. I make marks at 20, 50, 70, 85, and 100. At 100, I put “average” and explain that most kids without any learning problems get scores of 100.

Dr. B: Where do you think your score on how well you learn is?

Jim: Like here [points to 0]

Dr. B: Actually, it’s here [Points to 72]. Kids who are severely “retarded” and can’t take care of themselves or learn well have scores here [points to 0-70]. Kids who can learn but it takes more help from their teachers and parents are here [points to 70-85].

Jim: You mean I’m not retarded?

Dr. B: [In head: Blerg. Borderline…should I even say it? What benefit would come from telling him he’s “almost retarded”? But I want to be honest and realistic…] No, you’re not “retarded” because your score was not in this range [points to below 70]. But your score is not as high as other kids in your class and that’s probably why you feel different.

Jim: Oh.

Dr. B: You can learn, but you were born with a brain that takes a little longer to learn new things. Once you learn them, you can do well. Can you think of something you know now that you didn’t know in middle school?

Jim: Nope.

Dr. B: Urm...er....what about in math? Did you learn anything new this year?

Jim: Uh, [longest awkward pause in the world] I guess fractions.

Dr. B: [In head: Thank God he thought of something] There you go. If you were retarded, you may never have been able to learn fractions.

Jim: I guess. Can I go back to class?

So there you have it! So awkward. Not sure if he totally got it.

Then, a few months later, his therapist came to me and said, “Thank you so much for talking to Tim. He came in a few weeks ago and drew me a number line and totally explained to me where he was, and was SO excited to show how he wasn’t down there in the 0-50 range.”

Huh. Who knew? It stuck. This is the job of a school psychologist. You plant a seed and hope it grows. You don’t often get “proof” your seed grew and actually helped the child very often. Every once in a while, you get some positive feedback like that, and it keeps you going.

*Weird to use my new last name. A kid told me that “Dr. Branstetter” sounded “meaner” than “Dr. Bell.” Yes! Perhaps the kids won’t tease me anymore. Plus, no more rhyming “Bell” with Hell! Or Smell! Just try to rhyme with Branstetter! Marriage is great.

The Greatest Assessment on Earth!

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:46:00 +0000

For those of you who don’t know what a school psychologist does, a big part of our job is to assess children for disabilities. A popular referral question is: “Does my child have Attention Deficit Disorder?” An assessment for ADD is often the most complex of all assessments because there is no “test” for ADD. It is a process where you assemble of tons of data, including psychoeducational assessment, executive functioning tasks, observations, interviews, and rating scales to see if signs point toward other disabilities, or if it is a true disorder of attention.

You have to show there are severe behavioral symptoms such as lack of focus, disorganization, memory difficulties, difficulties with sustained attention, distractibility, and the like, that are unusual for the age (a 3 year old is distracted all the time and that's normal). The symptoms need to have started before school entry, and need to be pervasive (meaning you can’t have ADD only during math class, or only in school and not at home). Sounds pretty straightforward until you think of all the other reasons you could have symptoms of inattention:

-A learning disability that makes it difficult to concentrate, organize, or learn
-Emotional or social problems that deflect your focus (ever try to do work when you’re really upset?)
-Situational factors such as being in a disorganized environment
- Auditory processing/language deficits that make it hard to focus (just think of having to be in a foreign language class all day when you don’t know what the heck anyone is saying. Hard to stay focused.)
-Anxiety (you are preoccupied with worry thoughts, and thus can’t focus)
-Depression (you don’t have the energy to focus)
-Being gifted (you get bored easily!)

And the list goes on. But testing for ADD is one of my favorite assessments to do, because it is like being a detective.

One time, I was asked by my school district to assess a student for ADD during my spring break. At first, I resisted. I mean, it’s called a “break” for a reason, right? Then, I found out that the child was not enrolled in the public school, but was in Circus School, and happened to live in our district. There was a time crunch, and it would have to be done ASAP. I thought about saying I couldn’t do it, but c’mon, it was Circus School!

Now, you’re probably thinking (as was I), “How on earth do you test a kid for symptoms of inattention in Circus School?” What would that write up look like?

Caroline appeared distracted by the TIGERS JUMPING THROUGH FLAMING HOOPS.

I couldn’t wait to see what this Circus School was all about. It was worth sacrificing my spring break. Caroline was a 9-year old girl, specializing in contortionism.* She was indeed quite flexible, but she did kind of seem like she wasn’t listening to her trainer. But seriously, what child could focus in this environment?

I ended up testing her and she came up fine on every test, with some difficulties in visual-motor planning and impulsive answering. No anxiety or social-emotional problems. Her focus was fine one-on-one, but that’s not too unusual, even for kids with ADD. Her circus teachers* rated her “at-risk” for attention difficulties, and her mom rated her as the most unfocused child on the planet. Ug. I didn’t have enough data to say for sure what was going on.

Then I hit the jackpot. I found her cumulative folder that included teacher comments from preschool through 2nd grade, prior to enrolling in Circus School. And there were comments all over the report cards about her lack of focus, distractibility, and not meeting her potential. There was enough data to tentatively diagnose her with ADD, with ongoing monitoring of symptoms.

So for all you teachers out there, who are spending this week writing a zillion report cards, seek comfort that years from now, you will be helping some school psychologist make better diagnoses! Here’s where I normally would pull this posting together with a lovely metaphor about contortionism and circus arts, but it’s Sunday and I haven’t had my coffee yet. I guess there would be something about “disentangling” symptoms or "jumping through assessment hoops."

Please excuse me, I’m going to need to go to Peet’s Coffee now.

*I feel like I’m making this up as I write, but I swear I am not.

Guest Writer: Debbie Downer

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:08:00 +0000

You ever have one of those days when you find out a 14-year-old former student murdered another student? Erm. Me neither.

But if I did, it would be awful. And there would be guilt about not doing enough. And there would be scanning of all interactions to see if there was something else I could have done to prevent it. There would be major cognitive dissonance. He was a nice kid. He had potential. He got sucked into a gang. He didn’t have the skills to think through what would happen if he actually shot another kid. I know that most people file “gang member” under “evil misfit” in their minds and move on with their lives, but it’s far more complex. He was a sweet kid. He was vulnerable to influence. He didn’t have many successes in school and was looking for a way to feel connected and powerful. I think there are two victims. One is gone at the age of 13 and one is in jail for the rest of his life.

There is a “spidering” of retaliation that is happening amongst my students, their older siblings, and their families. Some of my students say they admire the shooter. Some of my students are in danger. I feel powerless. I know I try to keep things light here at Notes From the School Psychologist, filling the blogospere with warm fuzzies, but I don’t want to sugar-coat how hard it is to be the person people go to when these things happen and ask, “what do we do?”

I was okay with my crisis intervention role when I got the call that I needed to go to the nearby middle school because of a shooting. It certainly wasn’t the first time my crisis team number had been called to do grief counseling. And I put on my objective psychologist hat* and grabbed my kit of crayons, paper, empathy, and crisis management skills.

In my team of other school psychologists, I saw all the kids coming in to mourn the 6th grader who was killed. They said things like, “He was really funny” and “He never came to class, but when he did, he made me laugh.” He was clearly in a gang. The kids said, “It’s so dumb he died for a color.” I processed the confusion, sadness, and anger with his friends, and sat with a girl who cried and clutched the kid’s beanie hat, as a last reminder of her friend. She wasn’t going to the funeral because she was afraid of retaliation. Then she said the shooter’s name. And my heart sank. It was one of MY kids. I knew him last year before he transferred out of my school. No longer an anonymous gang member, I was no longer that effective in my objective psychologist role. I managed to pull it together and see more kids that day, but I told my supervisor I didn’t feel like I would be effective in that role for the following day. I mean, how can anyone have empathy for a killer and grief counsel the victim’s friends at the same time?

A week has passed. No media coverage at all of the tragedy, except one blip on the 10 o’ Clock news the day after. Looks like the media has also filed it away under “evil gang members we can’t do anything about.” I wonder if this had happened in a fancy part of San Francisco, if Time Magazine would be all over it, opening a discussion about youth violence. It angers me.

Interestingly, I had JUST gone to a seminar on Student Threat Assessment, and we spent two days talking about how rare these events are, but how it’s our job to take every threat seriously. We can’t predict who will be a killer, but we can take steps following every threat. This kid never made a threat that I could have followed up on. But I knew he was vulnerable and interested in gangs. I wish I could have done more.

Debbie Downer would like to conclude with a sad fact that you can’t save everyone in this field. You do your best, and sometimes, the outside influences are stronger than you. You can clean the air inside your school, make it nurturing, follow up with kids who need help, and do your best. Sometimes it seems like the front door of your school is a screen door, and all the negative community influences just come right in and there’s nothing you can do. Except your best.

(Insert Debbie Downer noise here)

*It’s not actually a hat, but if it were, it would be like a Sherlock Holmes hat, I think, to symbolize the objective taking in of data/clues. See, humor is my defense mechanism from trauma. You probably noticed that already.

Teaching Tip Tuesday: Put Some Stank on It

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 20 May 2009 13:45:00 +0000

Cough cough…sputter….sputter…what’s this? Ah yes, the return of Teaching Tip Tuesday!* For those just joining, this is a chance for all you lovely people to submit a link to your blog postings that you think will help teachers and parents and mental health professionals work better with children.

Today’s example comes from when I joined a Hip Hop dance performing troupe a few years ago.** I was super stressed out from my job, and needed an outlet. What better way to relieve stress than to exercise and challenge myself to use an unused part of my brain? I was so focused on trying to coordinate complex moves, get over my fear of looking like a lame white girl with no rhythm, and meet a new group of people. And that was just what I needed. For a few hours a week, I didn’t think about how there were way too many kids on my caseload, way too many crises, and not enough time to do my job as a school psychologist in my urban public schools.

I have a dance background. I was one of those kids who took tap, jazz, ballet, funk, hip hop, cheerleading, circus (really), and gymnastics and wanted more. I hadn’t danced in a while though, and somehow I suspected that the “robot” was no longer cool in hip hop.*** Anyhoo, I auditioned and made the team as an “alternate” meaning I could train with these professional dancers.

I worked my a** off trying to keep up, lost 15 pounds in the process, and then totally hit a wall and was not progressing. I even got the “Most Improved!” award, which we in education all know means “You suck just a little less than just a month ago!” We had these “Feedback” sessions in which you would perform in front of the other members of the troupe and each person would tell you what you were doing well and what you needed to work on. Well, after performing a classic piece to E-40, the head dancer gave me the following feedback:

“You’re a good dancer, but you need to put some stank on it.”

Right. Some stank. I’ll get right on th…wait? What?

The feedback was clearly not specific enough for me to do anything with it. Did she mean my facial expressions should be more stanky? Should I hit the moves harder? Lower? Faster? Not shower? WHAT?

And this is the problem with general feedback. Students don’t know what to do with it. When I was at Berkeley, my advisor once told me, “This is the worst dissertation prospectus I’ve ever seen in my 30 years at Berkeley”. NOT HELPFUL. Now if she said, “I am concerned about your Methods section and we need to rework your statistical analyses,” I would have known what to do. So as you go about your day working with kids, remember that specific feedback (and specific praise, for that matter) are much more useful for getting a kid to change his or her behavior. Even “Good job” or worse yet, “Good boy!” is far less helpful than “I like how you used a topic sentence.” Then the kid knows what was good about the performance.

And here’s the fun part. Good, specific feedback alone can change behavior. It’s like those speed monitors they sometimes put on roads where people speed, that let you know you are going 37 miles per hour in a 25 mile hour zone. What is your instinct when you get that specific feedback? You slow down. Now imagine it said, “You’re doing it wrong!” You wouldn’t know what to do.

One final point: always try to sandwich negative feedback in between two layers of positive feedback. If I were that head dancer, I could have said:

I like how you made a stanky face when you hit that move so hard. Now I want you to take that same attitude during other moves, because you look like a cheerleader. Don’t hit the moves so stiffly, loosen up.

Now that’s good feedback.

*I know it’s Wednesday. Shhhhhhhh.
**Perfectly normal thing to do.
***It actually has made quite the comeback. I could have been the first to revive the retro coolness of it.

Crisis Management

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Wed, 06 May 2009 02:04:00 +0000

I promise we will return to our regularly-scheduled blog about education, psychology, and all my little friends in the public schools after this last wedding post. I'm back from the most amazing wedding and honeymoon, and have been sloooooowly returning to civilian life. It's weird, at work, no one wants to hug me, take my photo, tell me how beautiful I look, and give me a gift for being in love, like at the wedding. Weird.

I am compelled to write one last post about the wedding, especially since the last one gave the impression that it was all smooth sailing. And as my kids say, I'm keeping it real. So, you know those shows where the bride freaks out over a miniscule detail and you roll your eyes at how lame she is? Well, I finally get it. I was that bride for a moment. I am somewhat ashamed to admit this, since my work as a school psychologist should have MORE than prepared me for any wedding crisis, great or small. In my work in urban public schools, I have dealt with the following crises:

-Female teacher being arrested for sleeping with one of my 8th grade students
-Drive-by shooting of school
-Police shoot-outs in front of school yard of students
-Multiple bomb threats (by PARENTS of the school, mind you)
-Stray cat population with ringworm invading school on state testing day
-And so much more...

So one would think I could handle an itty-bitty wedding crisis. Especially since I was Bride-chilla), right?

Well the problem was, I didn't take the advice that I usually give out to others about not taking on too many things at once. So in addition to planning a 3-day destination wedding, I also foolishly selected the weekend before said blessed event to take the final board certification exam to be a clinical psychologist. This is essentially the Bar Exam for psychologists, which is the final, final, little flag we have to plant on our mountainous journey from Educational Psychologist (specializing in school-related problems) to Clinical Psychologist (specializing in any problem, for any age). And if I didn't pass the exam, I would have to wait another 6 months to take it. No pressure. The good news is, I passed! Then, I had the rest of my week to simply run around town doing everything else for the wedding. I was in good shape. Or so I thought.

Three days before the wedding, I went to the bridal store to pick up my gorgeous gown, on the way to picking up the rings, meeting fiance for final dance lesson, and packing for the wedding and honeymoon. I was on a military-precision time-line. Picking up the dress was the fun part! And yet, when they opened up the bag to show me my dress, I had my one and only bridal melt-down, Bridezilla-style.

There was a spot on my dress.

I know, not that big of a deal, right? WRONG. I apparently hadn't been following my own advice and had been bottling up all my stress, because I just burst into tears.* The bridal staff moved into Defcon 2 mode and started talking into their wrists all secret-service style, "Um, we got a 210 in progress--crying bride. Go! Go! Go!" They mobilized the platoon of staff around me and the dress, got out the tissues and the haz-mat-style gloves and began the inspection as I sobbed. Every solution they offered was not acceptable. They offered to try to get it out further, but there was no guarantee that it wouldn't make it worse. They offered to try to sew a fold over the spot in a way that fit the style, but that would have taken time and potentially gone horribly wrong. I said, sarcastically through tears, "why don't we just iron on a jean-patch on my designer dress if we're going to do that!" Keep in mind, this was a minuscule little spot, but all my stress morphed into that spot, staring at me with it's .01% imperfection. Sure, 99.99% of everything else was going well, but I couldn't mobilize my crisis management skills and left the shop in tears.

I managed to get to my dance lesson and collapsed into fiance's arms, but when I started telling my story of trauma, it became clear that it wasn't about the spot. It was about dealing with imperfection on a day that I wanted to be perfect. On the actual day, I couldn't even really find the spot again, perhaps it was a stress mirage. In any event, I survived the great spot crisis of 2009, and the wedding went perfectly. I can't even put into words how amazing it felt to see all the hard work pay off into a beautiful day of love and happiness with friends and family. Okay, maybe I can put it into words, but no without sounding like a big cheezeball. And for future brides, or anyone going through several life transitions at a time, do as I say, and not as I do:

1) Rely on your friends and family. Delegate the things you don't really need to be doing yourself. It's hard if you tend toward perfectionism. But trust me, you can't do it all yourself.

2) Remember, at the end of the day, no one will remember if you had roses or tulips, or the small details. They'll remember how happy you were to be getting married. Say to yourself, "All I need is an officiant and my partner, the rest doesn't matter." And as my friend said, "And if the officiant doesn't show up, I'm sure someone can get their internet reverend credentials on their iPhones real quick."

3) Don't put too much on your plate at once. Confucius once said, "You cannot go in all directions at once." Smart guy.

4) Helping professionals: don't be afraid to be HELPED. People like to help. You like to help, right? So do others.

5) Express your stress and continue to utilize your coping skills during stressful times, especially exercise. Even if it is a 20 minute walk. You'll tell yourself you don't have time. C'mon. You have 20 minutes.

6) Elope. Just kidding.

*It reminds me of the first time I cried at work. My principal had never seen me lose it before and she was so surprised and didn't know what to do. My fellow counselor friend just clapped her hands and squealed, "Yea! She's human!" If you want to be a school psychologist, be prepared to check your perfectionism at the door. It's a messy field. Took me YEARS to figure that out. Years.

Bride-chilla

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 05:36:00 +0000

For those of you expecting a post about education, mental health, or the yoots today, sorry, I have Wedding Tourette's Syndrome. You get wedding.*

It is my spring break. I am so delighted to be spending it at the tailor’s every day. I have been to two different tailors for dress fittings NINE times this week. Nine times.** See, it is my own fault, because in addition to my wedding dress, I wanted a vintage 1950s cocktail dress for the rehearsal dinner. So I found this fabulous dress and thought, “I’ll just get it tailored” and it ended up being the most complicated process ever. I went to my favorite Russian tailor for my sixth fitting yesterday, and the following is an actual transcript of events that transpired:

Russian Tailor (in thick sing-songy accent): Dah-ling. I need to fix. This not right. I take out all lining and fix. Why not? It free country, riiiiigght? I fix. I was to fix yesterday, but had fever of four huuuuundred degree. You understand, dah-ling? Yes?

RB: (surprisingly patient) Yes, but I am leaving in a few days and am hoping to get this done soon. I trust you though. I want it to look right.

RT: You so calm! What do you do, dah-ling? For living?

RB: I’m a school psychologist in [names urban city that makes most recoil in fear]

RT: AHHH!! What age?

RB: Age 11-14.

RT: That worst age! They ripe. How to say? They like ripe fruit….rotten.

RB: Um, I guess they are ripe in a sense, because they are ripe for intervention at that age because they are in between kids and teens.

RT: No. They rotten. No wonder you so caaaaaalm about dress. You so caaaaalm because job so hard. Now I poke you to get reaction about dress. [Pokes me with pin] I poke you now! Ha ha ha!

RB: Um, ow.

RT: There. You have reaction!

So apparently, my job has made me somewhat unflappable when it comes to not sweating the little stuff. I guess when you are faced with true crises every day, a dress debacle is not really a crisis.

OR IS IT?

Stay tuned for Dress, Part II. Because you have no choice. It’s my blog.

*We will return to our regularly scheduled blogs about education and psychology soon, as I am a mere EIGHT days away from being in marital bliss!

**You must say it like they do in Ferris Buehler’s Day Off, when Ferris is “absent” nine times and the principal’s voice echoes, “Niiiiine Timessss.”

What I Have Learned about Executive Functioning From Planning My Wedding

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:19:00 +0000

I have contracted a mild to severe case of Wedding Tourette’s Syndrome (WTS), in which I blurt out wedding details without realizing I’m doing it. There are also side effects of executive functioning deficits.

I’m not sure if anyone has noticed, but I have not been regularly posting as of late. I was a 2-3 time a weeker, and now have dwindled to 2-3 per month. The short excuse is that I have 43 days until my destination wedding. Whose counting though? So with apologies to those who come here to read about the yoots of today or other topical discussions, and are getting wedding stuff, welcome to my world. With my newly developed case of WTS, all conversations lead to wedding talk. You’re no exception.

Fiancé: How was your day?
Me: (Litany of all wedding tasks completed, in reference to next 43 days)

Postman: Good afternoon.
Me: Any response cards today??? Because my wedding is in 43 days.

Car Mechanic: How are you?
Me: My wedding is in 43 days!

Coffee Barista: Room for cream?
Me: Should I do my linens in cream??? I only have 43 days.

When I first got engaged, I though I would be the most relaxed bride on the planet. They would need a new name for me, like BrideChilla.* I mean, I am ORGANZED. I am a PLANNER. I love Excel and To-do lists. When Forest Gump said that life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you’re going to get, I thought, “Not if you buy those chocolates with the labels on them and you can pick what order you eat them, crappy ones first, and save the best for last to create the best aftertaste.”

And then, I started planning. It came in bursts of organization and despair. There have been tears and elation. There has been much “it’s going to work out!” pep talks from fiancé. So in an attempt to actually make this post about something related to learning, here’s what I have learned about my own executive functioning skills the past year of planning. I provide it in the same format that I provide for parents and teachers, and then mock myself.

1) Break down big projects into manageable tasks!
Great idea! I will write down all the subtasks of planning a wedding, with “due dates”. Then, I will have a panic attack at all the things I have to do. After said panic attack, I will pick only one thing to do per day, starting with the most important (e.g. picking a date). Then picking a date became contingent upon location, which became contingent upon a date, which became contingent on where our guests are coming from, which became contingent upon who was invited, which became contingent upon our budget, which is contingent upon location. AAAAARRRGG!

Learning point: Big projects are not always as linear as they seem. Sometimes, you have to do a little bit of each task instead of one big discrete task. It's less satisfying in some ways, because you can't ever seem to cross off the item on your to-do list. So I changed my to-do list from "Obtain Caterer" to "work on catering for 30 minutes" so I could cross something off.

2) Reward successive approximations toward big goals
Great advice. So when I finish a baby task, then I get a reward. I like it! Usually, this worked out well, because finishing the task and crossing it off my to-do list was rewarding. Problem is, sometimes my “done” tasks morphed back into “to do” tasks when all hell broke loose. For example, our caterer/event planner didn’t call me back for 6 weeks, so we FLEW to the destination to meet him and he cancelled on us that morning by saying, “I can’t make it, I have low blood sugar.” WHAT? Eat a banana and get you’re a** over here! What happens if you have low blood sugar on our wedding day? So our major item we had “done” had to be scrapped and done again.

Learning point:Stay positive. At least I found out about the guy’s poor coping skills before the wedding date. Keep the big picture in mind. We still had time to find a new caterer, and the one we got is awesome and does not have Hypoglycemia. And, his sister does flowers and his brother does music. It turned out better in the end that Sir Flakes-a-Lot did not come through for us.

3) Enlist help when you feel overwhelmed with planning or executing tasks.
This is actually the most decent advice I’ve doled out, and I practice it regularly with my students. Ever notice it’s easier to motivate yourself to do something when you have a wingman or wingwoman? That’s because when you are low on energy, the other person can encourage you, or do part of the task with you, so it’s not so daunting. For a while, I was trying to do everything on my own, with stubborn pride at how organized I am, and then other important non-wedding things fell off the radar (e.g. friends, blog, exercise). I would secretly look at my wedding to-do list and be paralyzed because it was so overwhelming. I finally admitted to fiancé that organizing by myself was fun at first, but was becoming too much. Loving fiancé, who was already greatly involved in the to-do list, volunteered to take over all things music, transportation, food, and honeymoon. Great bridesmaid offered to be the delegate of all things cake, and groomsman is now our delegate of all things audio-visual.

Learning Point: Always have at least one cheerleader, and a platoon of super-delegates when you can’t do it on your own. Know your limitations. Share your box of chocolates with friends, and maybe, just maybe, be a rebel and try a mystery chocolate out of order. You just might like it. And if you don't, at least you can ask your friend to pass you one they think might be a caramel.

*Wait, did I tell you my wedding is in 43 days?

A Day in the Life of a School Psychologist

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 22:46:00 +0000

I get several emails a week from readers wanting to know if a career in school psychology is right for them. I can only speak to my experiences in large, urban school districts, but I am always happy to tell them the good, bad, and ugly. Sometimes, my candor sends them running for the hills, and sometimes, they can't wait to apply to grad school to get started. So go ahead, peek into a day in the life of my job and decide for yourself...

I arrive at my middle school campus today at 8:00am, armed with coffee, water bottle, lunch bag, bag of testing materials, my laptop, and a bag of toys. I greet the secretary in Spanish (she’s my own private language tutor) and grab a bunch of little notes out of my mailbox marked, “Dr. Bell, School Psychologist.” As I re-shuffled the weight of my zillion bags o’ stuff, a group of middle school girls came in the office. They were so cute and middleschooly awkward, and I smile and greet them. They give me the “I’m too cool to say hi to adults half-smile and squinty eye” and as I walk away, I overhear them:

Girl 1: Who was that?
Girl 2: Dr. Bell.
Girl 1: What does she do?
Girl 2: I don’t know exactly. All I know is that she LOVES kids.

That is the best job description ever. That is what I do. That is why I carry a zillion bags to 3 different schools every week. I am a school psychologist. Here is my day.

8:00am: Aforementioned shuffling of bags and lesson in middle school conceptualization of what I do.

8:05am: Accosted in hallway by vice principal. We walk and talk as I head to my little office in the back of the auditorium. It’s a State-of-the-Union address, middle-school style. Franklin needs a check in because he got into a fight. D’Andre is doing better in class. Cherie’s teacher wants to check in about reading difficulties. A teacher is out today. Karen’s mom wants me to call her about grief counseling. Special education meeting this afternoon for Kevin. Got it.

8:10am: Throw everything in office and read through mailbox notes. More of the same:
“Do you have any strategies for anger management for Michael?” “Can you check in with Erin? She seems sad.” “Dr. So-and-So called and wants to talk with you about whether you think T.J. has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.” “Is D’Andre doing his behavior chart?” “Padres Unidos meeting tonight at 6. Can you come?”

8:15am: Deep breath. Organize and prioritize! Review new items and existing list of students I had planned on testing and seeing for counseling today. Testing must be done today. I have to figure out why three of my students are failing. Learning disability? Emotional problem? Behavioral problem? Poor instruction? Bad attendance? Doesn’t understand English? Low ability? Peer difficulties? Do they need special education to be successful or can they make it in the general class with help? I am a detective gathering clues every day.

8:20am: Call parents back. Leave messages.

8:30am: Coffee now in bloodstream. Ready to go. Deliver “Talent Group” passes to 6th grade girls for counseling group that will occur after lunch. Squeals ensue. As I leave classroom, another girl yells, “I’m talented too! Take me!!!”

8:35: Back to office to regroup. Set up testing materials: one IQ test, drawing paper, stopwatch, pencils, sundry other tests of how kids learn best (listening? looking? doing?) and behavior rating scales for teachers, parents, and student.

8:40: Enter classroom to get Devin to “work with me for a while.” Kid bounds out of chair and then asks, “Wait, am I in trouble?” Assured he is not, just that his mom wanted me to test him to see how he learns best and what we can do to make school easier and more fun for him. He takes the bait.

9:00: Give tests of problem solving with visual aids, language-based reasoning tasks, memory tests, and drawing tests. Student is very compliant and seems to enjoy testing, once he is assured it was not for a grade, but to see how he solves new problems on his own. At end of testing, student reports that testing “wasn’t so bad.” Agree to meet again next week to finish up.

10:30: First counseling kid of the day. He’s a 7th grade boy who just got in a fight. Head hung low, he joins me in my office. He lights up when he sees the game of Uno. We play what may be our 100th game of Uno this year. After we finish, he sheepishly looks up at me and admits, “Dr. Bell. I was bad yesterday.” We talk.

11:30: Next counseling kid. She’s an 8th grade girl having family problems. He sister is in a gang, and she is afraid for her. We draw together. She is chatty and open. This is my second year with her. After we play what may be our 400th game of Mancala, she earnestly asks, “Did you have to go to college to do this job? Because it seems like playing Mancala isn’t that hard.” I privately reflect on how yes, I did go to college and grad school, and yes, I do get paid to play around on the job.

12:30: Call from other school I work at, located down the street. Student with major truancy issues is there today! Given I have been trying to test Caroline to see what is causing her to hate school so much, I tell the principal I’ll be right there. Grab my lunch bag for a meal on the go. Pop head into office and exclaim, “Tengo que irme a…my other school!” As I fly down the hall, secretary yells, “My other school is ‘mi otra escuela!” Yes, that’s right. Dang it. I knew that one.

12:32: Finished with lunch and get in car. Yeah, that’s right, I shoved a sandwich in my face in two minutes. Over the years, I’ve learned how to multitask. I’ve even managed to break up a faux knife fight while eating in the teacher’s lounge.

12:35: Arrive at high school. Observe Caroline socializing happily with boyfriend. The bell rings, and she makes her way to class. I intercept her. She agrees to come with me in lieu of chemistry class. Not a tough sell on that one.

1:15: Caroline reveals that she skips school because she feels dumb and “doesn’t ever get it.” She came today because she missed her friends. She agrees to continue testing to see why school is so hard. She becomes curious and engaged in my tests. I wish I could stay and test her all day. But my Girls Talent Group is starting in 15 minutes. I cross my fingers and hope she comes back tomorrow.

1:30: Back to middle school. Girls are eagerly waiting by the door. Today, we have to decide who we will invite to the end of the year talent show. Fight ensues over whether or not to invite Alejandra, who is friends with one girl, and enemies with the other. One hour of tears, yelling, more tears, storming out, storming back in, and talking yield to agreements and hugs all around. For now.

2:28: Back to my office. Jose is at my door, waiting for his 2:30 counseling. He wants to play basketball today. I glance down at my high heel shoes and think of that Easy Spirit commercial in which a group of women’s high heels are so comfy that they can play basketball in them. These are not those type of shoes, because those shoes are ugly and I would never buy them. We compromise and talk as we do free shots together. He talks about being bullied and his fear that his dad will be deported.

3:30: Score Devin and Caroline’s testing. Devin is above average in all areas. Caroline’s profile looks like she may have a Reading Disability. Further testing is needed to see why Devin is failing despite having the ability, and at what grade level Caroline is reading so we can target interventions.

3:45: Review my report I wrote on my testing last week for Kevin for meeting in 15 minutes. Kevin is a bright 6th grade student who is not completing any work in English, and has an A in Math. He is a sweet boy who sometimes shuts down and sulks when given a writing assignment.

4:00: Individual Education Plan (IEP) meeting for Kevin starts. Teachers, mom, principal, me, and Kevin are attending. We go over Kevin’s strengths. I present how Kevin learns best and what is getting in the way of his learning. His mom and teacher ask questions about how to help him. I make sure Kevin understands how he learns best and why school is hard for him. He has a visual-motor processing problem. I explain that he is like an awesome, super-fast processing computer, only his printer is a little slower than other kids. He smiles. I can tell he gets it.

4:45: Go back to office and grab my one million bags and pack up. I walk by the hip-hop dance club doing their thing and I see my shyest student dancing her heart out. I walk by the school garden, and see two of the talent group girls chatting and laughing. I smile to myself. Then, I see two of my boys I see for counseling fighting in the hall and saying unspeakable things about each other’s mamas. I drop my bags and decide to stay a bit longer. Why? Because like the girls said this morning, I love kids.

Dear Me, I Love Me

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:10:00 +0000

Ah Valentine’s Day. How you sneak up on me every year and how you make my life so interesting. Working in a middle school, I have seen so much drama this week, all centered on Valentine’s Day. Will he send her a flower? Will her ex- come back with a grand gesture? Will the boys and girls actually dance at the Valentine’s Dance tomorrow, or stand by gender against the walls? I just can’t wait to find out.

In elementary schools, I so enjoy the art projects that come around this time of year. I think there is nothing more precious than a giant glittery slightly deformed (and thus more anatomically accurate) heart valentine made out of construction paper. Priceless.

My favorite though, is a comment that was made by one of my students at a high school for students with emotional disturbances. This young man has come so far in his behavior and controlling his emotions, that our team was thinking he might be ready for "mainstreaming," which is a chance to learn with non-disabled peers. The teacher was asking him when he thought he might be ready to join a sports team and work together with the team appropriately (turns out, kids with emotional disturbances aren’t the best sportsmen sometimes. Who knew?). So teacher asks him when he would be ready and he said, definitively, “I will be ready to be a good sportsman on February 14th.” She asked, “why the 14th?” and he said, “So I can be my own Valentine!” His logic wasn’t so bad, actually. Why not be your own Valentine and love yourself enough to do something great for yourself?

I wonder if it’s too California-hippy-love-fest to make my counseling students make Valentines for themselves tomorrow...It could be really cool or really super lame. Discuss.

Teaching Tip Tuesday: Dealing with Why-ners

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:21:00 +0000

What is a sound more grating than fingernails on a chalkboard? The sound of a small child or teen saying, “Whyyyyyyyy do we have to learrrrrrrrn this?” Chances are, they will not take favorably to “Because No Child Left Behind has mandated us to teach this content standard this year!” One sure-fire way for teachers reduce why-ning is to make activities more meaningful and relevant for kids. Of course, there are some subjects that are easier to link to their prior knowledge, experiences, and lives, but every teacher should have in his or her toolkit some ways to make learning relevant. Personal meaning increases motivation and compliance in the classroom.

So, this week, go on and submit your tricks this Teaching Tip Tuesday on how you make boring, mandated, or somewhat difficult to make relevant material more meaningful.

Now I am not a teacher, but I have several fantasies for what this could look like in the classroom. One fantasy I have is for social studies and/or history teachers. Go on, try it out and let me know if the kids liked it. Sometimes I wish I had my own classroom…but I do not, so let me live vicariously through you!

Here’s the pitch.

I have worked with so many students with learning disabilities, low achievement motivation, emotional and behavioral problems who absolutely light up when they talk about MySpace.* So instead of fighting it, I say roll with it. History teachers could make each student pick a historical figure from the time period they are studying and the kid has to make a MySpace page for that figure. So if a kid picked Abraham Lincoln, then s/he could research his interests, what he might say on his profile, what groups he may have joined (Free the Slaves!), who he would have been friends with, and who he may have blocked from being his friend (Oh! If he’d only blocked John Wilkes Booth!).

Social studies teachers could have kids pick current event figures, like, oh, I don’t know, Barack Obama? Would he “friend” John McCain? Why or why not? What would his “status updates” look like?

11:02am Barack is…trying to pass the stimulus package

11:04am Barack is….soooo frustrated!

Or English teachers could have kids pick characters in the book they want to be! How fun would that be to see kids get excited about being a character in Shakespeare or in Faulkner's As I Lay Dying? Ooh! Ooh! I want to be King Lear!

I think it would be super fun for the kids and it would be a way to make history, current events, and old novels relevant to them. Now I realize that most schools block MySpace from their internet options.** So you might have them draw a home page on a piece of paper, or better yet, a giant posterboard to put up in the classroom. Then historical figures would be able to interact by writing down friend requests, joining each other’s groups, and blocking each other. You might do an example first to model for them what it might look like.

Let me know if you try it out, and if you hear any Why-ning!

*I have a love/hate relationship with MySpace. Yea!: social connectedness, learning computer skills, opportunities for social skills training, cyber-style. Boo!: cyber bullying, poor boundaries, inappropriate postings (by teachers and students alike). In general, I am against teachers and school staff having a MySpace page that kids can find (boundaries, people). I overheard a kid in the hallway say to a teacher, “I found you on MySpace! I saw your boyfriend! What are you doing on MySpace old lady???” P.S. She’s all of 22 years old.

**Not that they can't get around the blocks in 2.2 seconds...

Strategies for Visual-Motor Integration Problems

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:17:00 +0000

You would not believe how many people search Google for “visual-motor integration” and stumble upon my blog. Or maybe you would, as visual-motor integration problems affect virtually all aspects of producing work since it involves eye-hand coordination. That basically affects all pencil and paper tasks. So how can teachers and parents help kids who struggle with visual-motor problems?

Here are some basic tips. Keep in mind that not all visual-motor problems are the same. Some kids have problems with the visual part (seeing the differences in shapes, remembering what letters look like), some with the motor part (like writing with your non-dominant hand) and some with the integration. Nonetheless, the tips are helpful for all kids who are slower with their writing and copying. First, I recommend starting with remediation (practicing the skill that is hard) and then moving toward accommodations and modifications (changing the task or allowing for extra time to complete tasks) as the student gets older.

1) For younger students, integrate non-writing ways to enhance visual-motor skills, such as cutting with scissors, making shapes or objects with play-do, practicing buttoning, zipping, and tying, pouring, etc.

2) Young students may also enjoy tracing pictures in books with tracing paper, doing mazes, or doing puzzles, all which can help build eye-hand coordination.

3) Some students’ visual motor problems result in them making errors that they do not catch on visual scanning tests. These students may benefit from interventions around study skills, such as evaluating the difficulty of the task before beginning, and strategies for checking work. For example, if a student tends to do a whole worksheet on mixed math facts (addition, subtraction, division, multiplication) with errors in noticing the sign has changed, have him or her highlight the math sign in a different color before starting (pink for addition, yellow for subtraction, etc.)

4) Avoid visually complex worksheets. When worksheets cannot be modified, have the student cover up all the problems except the one s/he is working on with a white piece of paper to reduce overwhelming visual information.

5) Allow the use of cursive or print on written assignments.

6) Modify the assignments and materials when necessary by shortening assignments (striving for quality, not quantity).

7) Teach word processing skills so the student can learn compensatory strategies for handwriting assignments.

8) For older students who have become resistant to writing and copying, start thinking about modifications such as having a peer note taker, providing copies of the notes, giving extra time to complete longer writing assignments, and letting the student type, record, or give answers orally instead of in writing.

9) Acknowledge honestly that the student is having a difficult time (e.g. “Yes, I know writing is hard for you and when writing takes that much effort, it can make you feel tired or frustrated.”) Let him or her know that teachers and family members are going to work together to help him or her succeed.

10) If appropriate to the student’s developmental level, use a computer analogy to explain why the student struggles or works slowly (“It seems to me that you are like a brand-new fast computer with a printer that can sometimes be a little slower. You have such good ideas though if we can get them out! Let’s work together to figure out a way.”) Then brainstorm which modification or accommodation would work best in the situation (e.g. dictating ideas, using a computer, starting with a graphic organizer).

Yes We Did

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 17:04:00 +0000

Question: What could possibly make 2 and a half million people stand in subarctic weather, crammed together for 6 hours waiting for a person to speak for 18 minutes?

Answer: The inauguration of Barack Obama!

I have never been so cold and so happy at the same time. Going to deliver my students’ letters to Obama was the best idea. I think my students had the sense that I would be able to trot up to Obama and hand over their letters. Try explaining symbolism to 11 year olds, it’s tricky. I simply told them, I would do my best to get them to him. And I did.

My fiancé and I traveled from California on a red-eye flight and took a bus to a train to a 20 minute walk to our hotel in Maryland. We promptly plopped down our stuff, and spent a few days before the inauguration taking it all in. Everyone was in such positive spirits. Strangers cried and hugged each other, at the simple mention of what was to take place on Tuesday.

The day before, we walked miles and miles to get to the White House, to take pictures for the students of me with their letters. There was a chant-leader guy from (where else?) San Francisco, leading groups of people who walked by with chants of “Bye Bye Bush!” The White House was actually blocked off because someone had earlier thrown a shoe over the fence at Bush (the kids loved that part, by the way). So we settled on taking photos by the Washington Monument and mailing off the letters from DC. Thanks to the wonders of the “internets” on my phone, I sent the picture right to the classroom.*

The day of the inauguration, there was a pilgrimage of sorts from Maryland that involved a broken down Metro, hours of walking through throngs of people and National Guard people and Secret Service and volunteers trying to direct us where to go, and a stealth mission through a small space between some port-a-potties to get in.** We had to, as each entry point to the mall, we were told it was full. We ultimately got in and spent the frigid hours waiting for Obama getting to know the people around us. Hey, we had like 4 hours at that point, so I made them start with their birth and move forward from there. My fiancé taped everyone around us about what the inauguration meant to them. When he puts it together, I will be showing it to my class.

I will not lie, this inauguration experience will become more and more fun as I mentally erase being cold, tired, and cramped for hours on end! I am actually amazed that there were zero arrests, given the circumstance. That is how positive and overjoyed the crowd was to be there. People who got fussy were quickly redirected to be positive. I even overheard one teenager admonish his friend who was being pushy and kind of rude, “Don’t make me kick your ass on Obama Day! We Are One, remember?” and the crowd erupted in laughter. Nothing could spoil our moment. And the second Obama came out, it was all worth it. I just hope the goodwill and hopeful spirit continues. Any time I need a reminder, I will read the copies of my kids’ letters. Especially this one.

Dear Mr. President.

I have a question for you. What does it feel like to be president? I would like to get people off the street. Because everyday when I go to school I see people sleep on the street and it just breaks my heart to just look at that it just makes me cry. I want to put up more buildings more houses and stop smoking please for everyone. When you are on a stage you can tell people to stop violence.

Sinderely,

Jacob

p.s. may be your family can please come to my house. I would be happy and then my family and I could meet you. If you receive this letter please write back.

I hope he does. Even if it is a form letter, it would mean so much to my students to feel like their new President is listening.

*I think years to come, I will be telling the tale of inauguration weekend, and my future children and grandchildren will look at the pictures and be puzzled as to why I look like I am in Russia. So maybe the faux fur hat was a bit much, but I don’t care that I looked like I belong with Dr. Zhivago, it saved me from hypothermia!

**Quote of the day: "We have been through so much crap today to get here. Literally."

My Media Darlings

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:23:00 +0000

It turns out that once you do one thing in the media, it apparently catches on. Who knew? My kids and I were on the local news the other night about the Letters to Obama project. Check it out by clicking here. There is one part in which I am in the corner talking to kids.

My friend, whose wife is a school psychologist, emailed me when he saw it and said, "Great job! But why do they always put the school psychologist in the corner???" I laughed out loud because we are totally behind the scenes kind of people, as evidenced by the last two offices I have had in schools being in the back of the stage of the auditorium, literally, behind the scenes. What the camera didn't get that day was me totally tearing up when they read their letters. They were so powerful and I can't wait to take them to inauguration for the kids. Note to secret service: I sound kind of stalker-y in the piece, but just remember it's more of a symbolic getting the letters to Obama!

Teaching Tip Tuesday: Respect My Authority!

studentsgrow@gmail.com (Rebecca) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:39:00 +0000

As a school psychologist, I help teachers and parents craft behavior plans for students who are having difficulties in school. Without fail, the top two behaviors that are the most problematic for teachers are not following rules/directions and lack of work completion. I often have the image of writing a behavioral goal for South Park’s Eric Cartman pop in my head as I write these:

Cartman will RESPECT MY AUTHORI-TAY in the classroom when given a direction in 4 out of 5 trials as measured by teacher charted records.

So in the spirit of Teaching Tip Tuesday, here are some tips for teachers (and parents) to increase compliance with requests.

1) Start with requests that the child can definitely do and praise him/her. “Cartman, I need you to go get yourself an extra snack. Great! Thanks for following my direction.”

2) If Cartman is a complains or protests requests, then give a fixed choice, which allows him a small level of control. Defiance of authority usually has a root in a need for control, so give him a little. You would be surprised at how often this works. Say, “Cartman, you have a choice. You can start your math fact worksheet or read silently for 10 minutes. You pick.” I know, you’re thinking he will pick “neither” but that rarely happens. If he does say neither, you can say, “Would you like me to make a choice for you?” and that usually triggers a choice.

3) In the fixed choice technique, you can also make one choice totally undesirable so he picks the math worksheet or whatever you want them to do. When I pick up kids for testing and they balk, I say “Okay, you can come now, or during [insert favorite class]." Then if they choose to come with me, I thank them for taking responsibility. If it is a particularly oppositional kid who barely ever follows directions, then I usually call the parent in front of the kid and tell the parent how cooperative Cartman was for me after we’re done to reinforce him making a good choice.

4) Make sure the child understands the direction you are giving him or her. Sometimes, kids with learning or attention difficulties are not disrespecting your authority, sometimes they didn’t get the direction. You can ask them to repeat the direction in his/her own words to make sure all pieces of information got in. I am always so surprised when I test kids and have them repeat what I think are simple directions “Open your history book and turn to page 127” and they say, “Um, open your book to page 27?”

5) Deeeeeeeep breath. Kids who always say “no” or defy your authority can be super exasperating. Try to remain calm and use a business-like tone, so they do not know you are about to lose it. Kids respond to modeling. Model calm so things don’t escalate.

6) Try these other tips for working with oppositional students.

Okay, it’s your turn! How do you get kids to follow directions? Here's how to submit your Teaching Tip Tuesday! By the way, Hugh and Damian, can you repost your tips from last week? I accidently deleted them! I'm still learning this whole auto-link thing! Thanks! ;)