Nothing But Limericks

A Valentine's Day - Advice From Cupid Limerick

2012-02-02T23:07:00.001-05:00

If you don't want to spend your night cry'n
Remember your sweet Valentyin'
Please don't be stupid
Just listen to Cupid
A small gift with nice flowers should do fyin'

DUBLIN IRISH FESTIVAL HAS THE SECRET TO BEAT SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER!

2011-12-31T16:16:00.001-05:00

There is a good man in this town,
But the cold and the snow brings him down,
His memories - the best,
The Dub Irish Fest,
Recalling - he loses the frown.

A Nasty Old Grinch - Christmas Limerick

2011-12-20T07:14:00.001-05:00

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,
And the sight of him makes you flinch,
Treat him with kindness,
Perhaps you will mind less,
Though his heart grows not even an inch.

An Angel Named Sue - Christmas Limerick

2011-12-16T21:51:00.001-05:00

There was a young angel named Sue
To the loftiest pine tree she flew
When she got to the top
She decided to stop -
She had the most fabulous view.

An Elf Named Izzy - Christmas Limerick

2011-12-16T21:50:00.002-05:00

There once was an elf named Izzy
He said making toys made him dizzy
So he sat on his bed
And ate stale bread
He's not a good helper now, is he?

A Reindeer Named Charlie - Christmas Limerick

2011-12-15T18:41:00.001-05:00

There once was a reindeer named Charlie
He love to eat oats and barley
He said with a sigh
I'm too big to fly
As he scooted around on his Harley.

An Reindeer Named Brian - Limerick

2011-12-13T21:32:00.000-05:00

There once was a reindeer named Brian
He was found in the barn loudly cryin'
When asked why so sad
He replied that he had
A logical fear of flyin'.

An Elf Named Gertrude - Limerick

2011-12-12T12:16:00.002-05:00

There once was an elf named Gertrude
She had a big problem with her 'tude
So Santa did say
She must go away
Until she appears in a good mood.

A Christmas Elf Limerick

2011-12-07T17:21:00.001-05:00

There once was an elf named Harriet
She gathered the deer with a lariat
When she rounded up eight
She lined them up straight
And hooked them to Santa's chariot.

A Snowman Limerick

2011-12-04T14:05:00.001-05:00

There once was a snowman named Scott
He didn't feel well when hot
He was having fun
When out came the sun
And now our friend Scott is not!

A Christmas Limerick - Reindeer Named Joe

2011-12-02T23:13:00.000-05:00

There once was a reindeer named Joe
But he'd one little problem, you know
He said there's no way
He could pull Santa's sleigh
He was deathly afraid of the snow!

The Reason for the Season - Christmas Limerick

2011-12-02T17:12:00.001-05:00

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

An Urban Meyer Limerick

2011-11-28T11:44:00.000-05:00

The Bucks have hired U. Meyer
Thus sating Buck Nation's desire
His record is great
But the question of late -
Is does he still have the fire?

An Ohio State - Michigan Limerick

2011-11-25T11:36:00.002-05:00

There once was a team from Michigan
To beat OSU was its wish again
But losing eight straight
Was likely its fate
That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

2011-11-16T18:34:00.000-05:00

Dark clouds may overcast the Sun
The day be dark and murky
But you will find
If not too blind
Sunshine around each Turkey

Another Thanksgiving Limerick

2011-11-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

The cost of good living is greater,
Said a gentleman out in Decatur,
When Thanksgiving came round,
On inquiry I found,
He had dined on string beans and potater.

Joe Paterno Limerick

2011-11-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

Penn State is led by Joe Pa
The question - what did you know Pa
It is common knowledge
That some in State College
Are pleading, Say It Ain't So Pa

A Thanksgiving Limerick

2011-11-07T19:14:00.002-05:00

Said a smart chicken "turk" to his mother,
The people cry, "Love one another!"
But they'll eat us, you'll see -
You and Father and Me,
And likewise my Sister and Brother.

An Olde Halloween Limerick

2011-10-25T23:03:00.002-04:00

Said a Bat to an Owl in an oak-
"This Halloween Night is a joak!"
And that wise-looking bird
Replied: "Yes, it's absird,
I was thinking so when I awoak."

Linus, Sally, and the Great Pumpkin - A Halloween Limerick

2011-10-12T19:32:00.002-04:00

Our Linus and Sally did wait
In the patch, for the Pumpkin, Great
But as Sally feared
It never appeared
And a candy-less night was their fate.

There Once Was A Vampy Old Witch - Halloween Limerick

2011-10-04T21:20:00.001-04:00

There once was a vampy old witch,
The thought of her near made me twitch,
But she had a nice twin,
With a similar grin,
My thought? Which witch was which?

Witch's Brew - Halloween Limerick

2011-10-04T21:17:00.002-04:00

Bedazzled by the likes of you

So charmed by all you say and do

On Halloween Day

You blew me away

Heck. . . blame it on the witch's brew!

The Guillotine v. Lethal Injection

2011-09-29T11:13:00.001-04:00

Botched lethal injections have taught us

We need A Proposal, Modest

If you need someone dead
Just cut off his head

Let's use the machine the French brought us.

An Ohio State - Miami Football Limerick

2011-09-16T16:37:00.000-04:00

This week the Bucks play the 'Canes
For both - there've been many pains
Folks intelligible
Call this the Ineligi-bowl
Reputations for both - full of stains.

An Ohio State - Toledo Football Limerick

2011-09-09T11:59:00.001-04:00

Their hands they keep in their pockets
This team that they call the Rockets
They'll go to the 'Shoe
In their helmets of blue
Watch their eyes pop out of their sockets.