Nothing But Limericks

A Halloween Witch Limerick for Kids

2024-09-24T17:32:00.004-04:00

A witch with a broom and a cat

Wears a pointed and buckled, gray hat

She flies to the store

Because she needs more

Eye of newt, toe of frog, wing of gnat.

Scary Halloween Limerick for Kids

2024-09-24T17:11:00.002-04:00

Tell me what scares you the most-

A devil, a sprite, or a ghost?

An old witch that cackles,

Or a skeleton in shackles?

What's scary to me is burnt toast!

Could Santa Go Faster In A Car? A Christmas Limerick

2023-11-29T08:28:00.000-05:00

Each of the reindeer's a flyer
They pull Santa's sleigh ever higher
But why not a car
If you want to go far?
'Cause a sleigh can't get a flat tire!

At Christmas - A Vintage Edward Lear Limerick Poem

2023-11-29T08:27:00.000-05:00

There was an old lady whose folly
Induced her to sit upon holly
Whereon, by a thorn
Her dress being torn
She quickly became melancholy.

The Cry of the Banshee - Halloween Limerick Poem

2023-09-03T13:39:00.004-04:00

When you hear the banshee's shrill cry
A person, high-born, will die
A murder, quite often
Is what fills the coffin
Then under the turf he will lie.

A Squeezy Goblin - Halloween Limericks for Kids

2020-10-07T13:44:00.000-04:00

I hope that this poem will please you,

It is meant, just a little, to tease you,

Please have no fear,

If a goblin is near,

It probably just wants to squeeze you.

Saved By A Jack O'Lantern - Halloween Limericks for Kids

2020-08-18T15:49:00.001-04:00

If you hear at your window a "scritch"
It could be a goblin or witch
On a night black
A pumpkin named Jack
Might stop a terminal twitch

Liberty Limericks - An Angler Named Wade

2020-01-02T21:12:00.000-05:00

"War Bonds," said an angler named Wade,
"Are the sportingest catch I have made -
They'll save us our freedom
And then when we need 'em,
They're good for more cash than we paid!"

All Hail the Bells of Yule - Vintage Christmas Postcard

2019-12-15T11:04:00.000-05:00

All hail the bells of Yule
And the golden peel they play
May the message they tell
As they rise and they swell
Bring joy to your heart today.

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Limerick

2019-12-13T17:45:00.000-05:00

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

From A Pirate Named Molly, copyright 2013, Randy Imwalle

A Penguin Named McGillicuddy - Winter Limericks for Kids

2019-12-03T23:02:00.001-05:00

I have a young friend named McGillicuddy
Whose favorite toy is Silly Putty
She thinks it quite nice
To sleep on the ice
So I guess that makes her my chilly buddy.

Carly the Elf Likes Custard - Limericks for Children

2019-11-30T17:45:00.000-05:00

Carly the elf was flustered
When she tasted the caramel custard
Her taste buds rejected
The flavor detected
---The stuff was stadium mustard!

A Gentleman Out In Decatur - Vintage Thanksgiving Limerick Postcard

2019-11-01T16:27:00.000-04:00

The cost of good living is greater,
Said a gentleman out in Decatur,
When Thanksgiving came round,
On inquiry I found,
He had dined on string beans and potater.

A Turkey Named Joe - Thanksgiving Limericks

2019-11-01T16:23:00.000-04:00

There is an old turkey named Joe
He struts wherever he went
Dumb things that he said
Made your face turn pink
He must be the star of the program

The Suave Vampire - Halloween Limericks

2019-10-27T22:13:00.000-04:00

The vampire is a very suave creature
Was the lesson that Vlad tried to teach her
"He leaves his coffin
Just every so often,"
Said Vlad as he leapt up to reach her.

What's That Sound? Halloween Limerick for Kids

2019-10-15T23:01:00.001-04:00

"What's that!" I said, "Didja hear it?
It's that sound again, and I fear it."
But I found that the noise
Was made by three boys
Pretending to be a mean spirit.

A Pumpkin Named Freddy - Halloween Poems For Kids

2019-09-28T00:17:00.000-04:00

"A pumpkin, I am," said Freddy,
"To be carved with a knife, I am ready
Since you, I trust
Warn you, I must
My insides are like cold spaghetti."

A Geezer Named Bernie - Halloween Skeleton Limerick

2019-09-10T16:10:00.000-04:00

There once was a geezer named Bernie,
Who started a long, epic journey.
"I never will stop,
Till I reach the top!"
But they carried him out on a gurney.

Old Gourmand of Peel - Vintage Limerick Postcard

2019-07-29T22:33:00.000-04:00

There was an old gourmand of Peel
Who supped on some escalloped veal
The dreams which ensued
Where so awful, so crude
They'd have frightened, well, you know - the de'il!

Vintage Schweppes Tonic Water Advertising Limerick

2019-03-18T05:00:00.000-04:00

Said a bandmaster, "Wilson, you're sacked!
Since you took to Scheppes tonic you've cracked
Twenty drumsticks, and split
Seven drums. I submit
That such force should be tempered with tact."

St. Patrick's Day Guinness Limerick

2019-02-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,

When the calendar says March seventeen,

We'll be happy when in us,

Are pints of black Guinness,

Try some, you'll know what we mean.

Irish Pig Limerick for St. Patrick's Day

2019-02-26T20:19:00.000-05:00

Through the fog, I saw a fat pig
Hop on the end of a twig,
The scene was a blur,
So I'm not really sure,
But I thing he was dancing a jig!

Temperance Limerick Postcard - The Snake in the Grass

2019-01-25T21:00:00.000-05:00

You have heard of the snake in the grass
The terrible snake in the grass
But now you must know
Man's deadliest foe
Is the venomous snake in the glass.

The couple from Gloucester, lost 'er - Vintage limerick

2019-01-24T22:46:00.002-05:00

An old couple living in Gloucester
Had a beautiful girl, but they loucester
She fell from a yacht
And never the spacht
Could be found where the cold waves had toucester.

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Limerick

2018-12-16T21:56:00.000-05:00

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
For this happy season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.