nothing is connected

A brief update

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:45:00 +0000

Bali has a new bus system. It appears to be working in spite of its many problems. A critique can be found here. Despite the pessimism a working bus system is inevitable if the Island is to avoid choking on its own success.

Property prices in Bali are going up up up. Its unbelievable what people are willing to pay for a chunk of swamp without sewage, electricity or water. 300 million rupiah /are now seems to be the going rate in some parts of semminyak. Some very average villas here are now going for 15 million rupiah/month. At these prices its tempting to move and rent out my house but the next question would be to move where?

The beachfront in Kuta is finally resembling something other than a collection of abandoned buildings. There are a lot of new shiny hotels all across the street from the beach. Access to Kuta is still hopelessly snarled amidst the narrow convoluted streets, the surfeit of taxis and the interminable "proyek galian" (excavations) tearing up the roadways.

The massive developments in south Bali (and they are massive) are serviced by a tiny 2-lane road from Jimbaran to Bukit. Traffic along here can only get worse as these developments fill in. As it is now you are totally screwed going uphill at 4:30 pm and downhill at 7:00 PM (tour buses to Uluwatu).

I'm not sure of the reasoning but the developers in Pecatu placed a large water park in the middle of a luxury housing development and golf course. Perhaps they should have sold the houses first but I find it difficult to imagine some wealthy pensioner buying a house with 100 decibel bass pumping out some techno beat at 10:00 AM overdubbed with some idiot presenter screaming into a microphone. Just what I like with my morning coffee and porridge.

The little golf driving range in Tuban is gone - victim to the ever expanding Ngurah Rai Airport. I think that it has been gone for some time but I'm only now getting around to mentioning it. Pity. It was the cheapest and best kept secret in Bali.

Finally I have to say that I lost one dog while I was away and a new one seems to be hanging around in its place. The lost one was a bit touched from the day we found him so I'm not totally surprised. The new dog is a friendly type with an unfortunate habit of digging up the lawn. Not sure how to cure him of that.

Having a heck of a time organising my next work trip abroad. More on that later.

Oversights

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:44:00 +0000

D'Oh - Homer Simpson

Oil wells are getting deeper. They are becoming more convoluted as well. This has created a lot of niche services and service companies, and a whole new host of problems which would not have even been considered a few years ago. For example a client of ours recently requested the latest and greatest in high strength logging cables. This stuff has phenomenal tensile properties and if we utilize it to its full capability we can pull a great deal more tension on it then what is usually allowed. That means you can run more tools simultaneously while reducing the risk of leaving those tools in the well should they happen to become stuck. Unfortunately our client won't be able to use that cable to its rated load. You see you have to support that cable with something, and that something needs to be a whole lot stronger than the cable. The client never told the rig what they had in mind and they have only just realised that the rig's support points are inadequate for the cable they specified. The rig can't change their support points - its already at sea. So an entire drilling and evaluation campaign has to be changed because someone couldn't see the entire picture.
The amusing thing in all of this is that our client has us running around like chickens trying to solve a problem, for which we have no reponsilbility, and yet are expected to sort out - for free of course. I can forsee some very expensive solutions coming. Machine shops...chartered aircraft....

I suppose this whole exercise would be the equivalent of throwing a formula 1 race engine into a Yugo, or a Gremlin, or even a Pinto. You are going to be disappointed. no matter what you do next.

Clarence Clemmons

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 01:29:00 +0000

Clarence Clemmons has passed on. There is a nice write up on him in the Times. He will be missed.

photo clipped from the album cover of born to run

Connections

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 03:25:00 +0000

An open question.

Why is it so difficult to find F connector wall plates? You know, the kind you need for satellite TV. Is there some law about importing them or is the case (as it is often) that I just haven't found the one shop in all of Nusantara that sells this animal?

Allow me to explain. A while back I decided to renovate the house. Part of the renovation involved installing cable outlets in all of the rooms so I could enjoy TV in any room without without having a bunch of unsightly cables lying about or having holes drilled in my window frame. A noble plan. I also have a mother-in-law suite on the property, that I may decide to rent out in some alternative future. Its nice to have the connections in place so that all the tenant needs to do is buy the decoder. I'm happy to say that the cables are now where they need to be. The issue is the connections. The only available wall sockets here are whats known as a Belling-Lee type. The satelite provider (Indovision) uses F connectors. The two don't mix. Moreover I've been unable to find an adaptor. Its been grimly amusing visiting upteen hardware stores, electrical suppliers, stereo and home entertainment shops and getting various versions of the blank stare. Reminds me of the great toilet adventure of a few years back.

The only workaround at the moment is to build my own "PJ" cables which have F connectors at one end and Belling-Lee connectors on the other. Tedious but I don't know what else to do.

Blue Lobster

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 03:26:00 +0000

I just thought this was kinda cool. Blue lobsters are missing a pigment. This would look very neat in an aquarium.

Apparently this occurs on average of one time per 4 million lobsters. Unfortunately they turn pink upon cooking which means you will never get one on your plate (it's considered bad luck to cook them anyways).
The cbc has more on this if you are interested.

Photo clipped from the cbc

Little Quests

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 10 May 2011 10:17:00 +0000

I have this strange urge to make waffles. However I've been stymied (so far) in my search for a waffle iron.

Where does one find a halfway decent waffle iron here in Indonesia? The ones I've seen so far look that they were made to cook exactly 1 waffle before dying.

The thing is there are dozens of brands of sandwich makers out there. Odd (to me) that none of these suppliers have thought to include plates to make waffles instead of sandwiches.

Hmmm

Life goes on.

Pigs Ears

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:14:00 +0000

Whats going on with catering these days? Did they forget to pay their bills?

Last week it was tripe. Basically pig guts cut up and served in a stew. Yesterday pig's ears showed up in the galley for lunch. You could see them hiding amongst the cut wieners and garbanzo beans. Apart from my dogs who really looks forward to Pig's ears after a hard day on the skid deck?

Today we had the leftover pigs ears in sauce with the trotters thrown in to thicken it. This is a seriously worrying development. Whatever happened to pork chops, pork loin, bacon, or even ham?

Nervously anticipating the tails and snouts - what parts of the pig can't be eaten? Damn pig is doing more dead than it ever achieved in life.

An Oilfield Rant

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:42:00 +0000

I was rudely interrupted from a much needed repose to prepare equipment because some rig out on the ocean somewhere could not get their pipe out of the hole. Just when I planning a nice little trip home I had to rebook all my flights....such is life.

Drill pipe gets stuck. It gets stuck for a number of reasons. There could be differential pressure across the wellbore, shales swelling in, poor solids control, or any other number of reasons as to why the rig can't get the pipe out of the ground. Usually when drilling rigs get stuck they need wireline people to get them unstuck or backed off. Its about the only time when the drilling supervisor is happy to see us.
Part of the challenge in freeing stuck pipe is to select the most appropriate means of cutting the pipe above the stuck point. This means choosing the right explosive for the job. Furthermore little foresight is applied by drilling and completion people in terms of designing a completion than can be recovered if necessary. A drilling or completion string may have a number of restrictions in it that complicate the pipe recovery process. The burden falls on the service company to provide a cutter that can satisfy the customers drill string however screwed up it is.

So here is a Drillers Dream Cutter

Can cut any size casing, tubing or drill pipe.
Able to fit through a 2" restrictions
Requires no explosives or dangerous chemicals
Includes a free point device as well as correlation device
Can be rigged up easily with no special power supplies or personnel

Unfortunately such a device is still within the realm of fantasy. In the meantime we have to go through the tedious explanation of why you can't use a 2 3/8" cutter to cut 5 1/2" drill pipe. Eventually this message sinks in and our clients re size their expectations as to what is actually doable.

The next difficulty is to determine where the pipe is stuck and to convince the client that he needs to cut above the stuck point if wants to have any chance of recovering any pipe. You would be surprised at how many millions of dollars of drilling hardware are lost in the well every year because Drilling people can't understand this simple concept.

Details. You can never have enough. Its surprising what you don't know and how that can make or break a job. A lot of time can be saved beforehand if only people knew the ID of a piece of assembly was 2.25" and not 3.5". We had to run a drift just to confirm an ID because some guy in town couldn't be bothered to gauge an assembly.

Hindsight is always 20/20. I think that the oilfield has the most disproportionate number of armchair quarterbacks in the world. Anyone with 2 years experience on the rig thinks that they are an expert and I think I heard more sentences beginning with "we should have" than I have since that last time |I was out here to free stuck pipe. Service contracts are not written for should haves. They are representations of what level of risk that operators are prepared to accept - if you are worried about losing a 50 million dollar well then you "should have" built that into your contract.

And finally....CYA (cover your ass). The acronym CYA almost completely sums up the entire exploration industry. Never leave yourself in a position where you can be held accountable for anything. Although this means that the job safety review will be a 30 page document translated into 2 languages for a 10 minute operation this is the way things are trending in the patch. Cutting through the bureaucracy means self-exposure and I can't afford the risk.

Get used to it. No wonder the price of oil is hitting $100 dollars plus.

Some Unwanted Advice

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 12:46:00 +0000

We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant - Karl Popper

Its becoming very difficult to reconcile the Indonesians I know and the ones I see on TV or read about in the paper. The latest attacks on the Ahmadiyah community by a mob having more in common with orcs than humanity have shown that the government really does not seem to have a plan on how to deal with an ongoing problem of incitement in the community by radical groups.

The problem is those pesky Ahmadiyah keep wanting to have their own unique beliefs. This goes down badly with the mainstream Muslim establishment who is apparently so insecure in their own beliefs that they see this tiny offshoot sect as a threat to the souls of the nation. The Government in its role as the arbiter of justice has proposed a host of bizarre solutions which I would like to consider.

1) Expel the Ahmadiyah.

Ghettoizing the Ahmadiyah was recently suggested by the Government of Lombok. The Ahmadiyah of Lombok have been living a a relocation camp since 2006, when they were burned out of their homes by a vicious mob. Despite the whole event being captured on TV no charges were ever laid in connection to these events. As a solution it was suggested that removing the community to an isolated location so that their neighbors could not be influenced by their deviant acts. I suppose one of those prison islands could be renamed Pulau Ahamdiyah and special uniforms could be designed so as to conveniently discern Amamdiyah followers from the mainstream. Of course this kind of thing hasn't happened since the Nazi's began rounding up Jews Gypsies and homosexuals but who knows? If nothing else it would earn the current president a special place in Hell alongside Omar Bashir, Adolf Hitler and Slobodan Milosovic but hey if this is the legacy you are hoping for Mr. President, a study of the actions of these dictators would certainly provide some lessons and insight. It won't do much for your UN aspirations though.

2) Initiate a pogrom.

This method seems to favored by the MUI (majelis ulama indonesia) and their faithful right hand the FPI(Islamic Defenders Front). The Indonesian Constitution, never a strong document to begin with, has been systematically eroded by a combination of inflammatory fatwas, sharia style bylaws, and mostly by the lawless actions by thugs hiding behind the fig leaf of ensuring religious harmony. Based on their recent actions and statements it seems to me that the religious harmony that these groups are referring to is the peace of the grave for religious minorities. Mr. President please refer to the above-mentioned dictators for advice on how to proceed. Again, this sort of thing is no longer in fashion but if this is how you wish to present the image of Indonesian tolerance to the world, pray continue.

3) Amend the constitution.

Perhaps it might be better to obtain a legal backing before proceeding with plans 1 or 2 by amending the constitution so as to declare the country an Islamic state. This plan would certainly be welcomed a number of Islamic-based political parties that the government has been pandering to for the last several years.This plan would also be opposed by the small but significant minorities that make up the bulk of the eastern islands of this country. They might see the declaration of Indonesia as an Islamic state the ultimate betrayal of the 1945 revolution. The entire nation could conceivably be fractured into several smaller states, a situation that would benefit nobody. There are lessons to be learned from the Balkans, the Sudan, and Somalia. Indonesians should take heed.

4) Do Nothing.

This seems to be the modus operendi of the Yudhyono administration. Even the president must realise by now that, by pandering to thugs they will only become emboldened to greater and more outrageous acts of violence. Pretending that there is not a problem will not make it go away. What doing nothing will do is emasculate the position of the President of the Unitary State of Indonesia. When people lack leadership and discipline then tend to look to their own interests first. Attacks upon minorities will continue to occur so long as nobody is held accountable. How many people have to die before the government realises that maintaining the status quo is just not going to work in the long term?

5) Banning the Ahmadiyah.

This is the solution as suggested by the Minister of religion. Now the funny thing about banning a religion, it almost almost always has the opposite effect. Muslims should consider their own history when talking about religious bans. Were they not not banned from Mecca for a time? How well did that work? The Catholic church spent hundreds of years being banned by the Romans. When their opportunity came they spent hundreds of years years in counter-reformation efforts against the likes of Lutherans, Methodists, Protestants, Anglicans. Where did it get them in the long run? Ideas are difficult to kill. And who is to say which one is correct? I'm sure that any self-respecting Muslim would be very indignant if it was suggested that their religion was deviant and heretical - I fail to see how they would think that the Ahmadiyahs would feel any less indignant for having their religion considered as such.

6) Doing the right thing.

This is the least popular option as will involve politicians and the public getting off the fence and actually doing something to promote tolerance as opposed to exaceberating differences. So what is the right thing? Well why not start with harshly punishing those who promote religious violence? Make an example of one or two - the third one may think twice before acting. Secondly eliminate laws or decrees that get used to justify religious violence such as the ridiculous Joint Ministerial decree on Ahmadiyah as well as the Joint decree on houses of worship. You can't seriously call yourself a multicultural and tolerant society with laws like these on the books. If you want to restrict the growth of churches, mosques, temples and the like why not enforce things like seating capacity, operating hours, noise levels and available parking. Thirdly protect the integrity and sanctity of the courts. People should have the right to protest in front of the courthouse. Those rights do not extend to threatening the magistrates or burning down the courthouse if the decision does not suit the mob. Giving the bigots and haters free reign to hack and burn is a tried and true way to conflict.

Indonesians need to decide what form of country they want. Continuing in this lawless manner will only hurt them at home, and hurt their reputations abroad.

On Egypt

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 10:14:00 +0000

The events happening over in Egypt are certainly dynamic. I've been following The Sandmonkey both on twitter and on his blog. The man has found himself at the centre of things. CNN has also been providing a lot of coverage on this issue as well as events elsewhere in the Middle East. Twitter is actually a useful tool in keeping up with events.

Meanwhile closer to home...
Indonesian leaders have a history of making bizarre public statements. Here is another. The Secretary General of the PKS Anis Matta claiming that thousands of his supporters are over in Egypt actively assisting in the overthrow of a soverign government? Imagine for even one moment if a European or American politican said something along those lines a few years back here in Indonesia. The conspiracy mill would be gristed for years to come.

Whats going on in Egypt will eventually be sorted by Egyptians. Given that foreigners have been targeted by the Egyptian police and pro Mubarak demonstrators its astounding that Anis Matta would make such a foolish and potentially inflammatory statement. Indonesians abroad have a tough enough time without having to worry about about being rounded up as foreign agitators.

Update - the police in egypt can read the news...poor guy

The Pack

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:26:00 +0000

Its not the easiest life to be a dog in Bali. You start out as a cute little puppy. After a few weeks the cuteness wears off as the skin diseases cause you hair to fall out and your owners reject you. Eventually you find yourself homeless, starving, and pathetically trying to shelter under a shrub during the rainy season. And so it was for 3 little puppies that my gardener happened to notice on his way home the other day. These guys were terrified of people but too weak to run away. Being a kind sort Nengah(my gardener) brought them into our neighborhood and they have since taken up semi-permanent accomodation in my carport. The pups have been accepted by Mallie, the alpha male in the neighborhood as well as Badi, the other dog that hangs out next door.

So for the last week or two I've been learning about kampung dogs. These pups are doing much better after getting stuffed with food from all the generous folks nearby. These guys can eat. I've never seen a dog until now that's able to eat rice until he can't physically get any more down his throat. They are reasonably clever too. It didn't take long to teach them how to take food sitting down and not to try and snap it from my fingers. They are still very traumatized by whatever experience they had earlier and don't really like to be handled, at least not at first. Progress in socializing these guys has been slow. Unfortunately I don't see much future for them if they can't get used to being around people.

Hopefully someone will come around to take 1 or 2 of these little guys in. It would seem a shame to rescue these dogs only to put them down later for lack of an owner.

Addendum: How not to solve your dog problem

On Nested Polynomials

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 14:57:00 +0000

At work we use quartz pressure gauges to measure downhole pressure in a reservoir. The gauges are extremely accurate and employ a clever temperature correction scheme. They are calibrated at a test facility somewhere in the States and sent to us as a kit. The calibrations take the form of nested polynomials, the coefficients of which have to be entered manually into an acquisition system. Apparently computers prefer crunching this form of equation to the regular type. Here is what they look like (more or less).

So just figuring

25 Coefficients per internal gauge
3 Internal Gauges
4 Coefficients per external gauge
29 Coefficients per Internal/External Combination
9 Possible configurations means 261 coefficients to enter (manually) into the system.

The possibility of typos is tremendous. Luckily the system allows some test values to be input so as to generate a known output. Its fairly easy to check if you've made a mistake. Still its a lot of typing for the two-fingered. Once all the calibrations are entered then the gauges must be phsically checked (in their various combinations ) just to ensure all the points are entered in the right places. Lots of unscrewing and screwing involved here.

This will take all day...I'm already pooped.

The Prisoner Exchange

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 06:40:00 +0000

Kasiem is a genius.

Imagine being able to pay someone else to do your prison time. Think of the business opportunity. You could even set up an exchanges whereby short term credits in maximum security prisons could be exchanged for longer terms in nicer prisons. Otherwise unemployed people could now find meaningful employment as exchange brokers.The govenment could even generate revenues from licensing aforementioned brokers as well as a service fee levied on each transaction.

Its a win-win as far as I can see.

Alluvial Shite Fans

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 20:56:00 +0000

There is an escarpment outside our office that runs along the coast for several miles in either direction. Along this escarpment there are hundreds of these alluvial (or fluvial-I can never recall) shite fans. These fans are caused by residents on the top of the escarpment simply dumping their trash over the side of the cliff. There it remains until it either gets covered over with sediments - there are whole vehicles buried here - or until it rains and all this refuse floods the lowlands next to the ocean. Somedays it rains so hard that the manhole covers in the lower city get blown off and there is the spectacle of an artesian shite fountain in the middle of the street.

Sorry about the picture quality. My camera has gone AWOL - permanently it seems.

Word Of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 11:38:00 +0000

from dictionary.com

Obsequious -1. characterized by or showing servile complaisance or deference; fawning: an obsequious bow.

2. servilely compliant or deferential: obsequious servants.

3. obedient; dutiful.

The photo gives a prime example of obsequious behavior. The man doing the kissing is Nurdin Halid, the head of the Indonesian Soccer Association and the man on the receiving end is Susilo Bambang Yudyono - the current President of Indonesia. Is this sort of thing still common between adults and elites? I thought that such slavish salaaming was just between children and their parents. To be either the kisser or the kissee in this picture would be very uncomfortable for me.

photo was lifted from the internet

A Non Christmas Poem

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 20:47:00 +0000

This wll probably be my first and last attempt at rhyming couplets. I really need a change from writing deployment risk management reports. Here goes...

It was the night before Christmas and I'm stuck in a stew
Trying to fill in my performance review
Just a few short lines to fill in a gap
In some global database, managed by SAP

I'm advancing the enterprise I quickly cajoled
Exceeding my metrics and meeting my goals
Conform to requirements with a flick of the wrist
Careers are tick boxes, just fill in the checklist

I'm finding it hard understanding this goo
The sylables are many their meanings are few
Designed to mislead, to confuse and to skew
It looks good on paper who cares if its true?

Ah all that I've written its not what Ive done
It just for a raise at the end of Q1
At the end of the day its not what you do
Its how you report it (subject to review)

Thats probably enough

PJ wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and all the best in 2011. May your performance metrics show continuous improvement, add value to the enterprise, meet or exceed industry benchmarks and comply with stakeholder expectations (both internal and external) thoughout this reporting period.

Every Dog Has His Day

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:15:00 +0000

These are about as rare as hen's teeth. Tucked in amongst the slices,thin shots, duffs,windies and 4 putts I somehow managed to sink one from the teebox. I'm starting to think that golf is merely a series of disasters punctuated by just enough glorious moments to entice one to continue playing. Sort of like life in that regard.

On Cablegate

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 05:33:00 +0000

Just a couple of points on the wikileaks thingy. The United States as far as I know is still a functioning democracy. It operates diplomatic missions all over the world. One of the functions of those missions is data acquisition. At its core data acquisition involves talking to people. In this respect foreign embassies are similar to the press. And like the press these diplomats have an obligation to protect their sources. Unlike the press however diplomacy is a function of the state, and if that state is a democracy then the diplomatic function is ultimately under the control of the electorate though it's elected representatives.

Julian Assange is a computer hacker. He reports to no government and cannot be elected out of his position at Wikileaks. He is subject to no ethical authority apart from his own sense of right and wrong. In a sense Mr. Assange has placed himself godlike over the interests of a democracy of 300 million to some presumed personal higher utopia of world openness. Even some cursory social contact should have hinted to him that openness and the human condition are seldom to be mixed. Human beings will rarely speak about the predilections of their acquaintances publicly. Facebook is full of horror stories of those naive fools who candidly discuss the shortcomings of their friends and employers. Its a certain road to ostracism.

The theft of diplomatic cables is, of course theft. The use of these stolen documents by Wikileaks is of course accessory to theft. As a criminal organisation then Wikileaks needs to be prosecuted according to existing laws. As for Wikileaks ushering in a new era of openness I think that the opposite will occur. People will talk less because they will will be unable to trust that what they say in confidence won't become public forum and used against them at some future date. How engendering such distrust is a good thing only Julian Assange can say.
Who talks to a known gossip?

Some examples of the sort of problems that these leaks will cause can be found here and here

The Gala Dinner

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 01:13:00 +0000

note: The event occured in late september. I am only just getting round to putting it to paper now. Apologies

I'm really not a social critter. I don't get out much. But there I was slurping lycee daiquiris with the hoi polloi of Bali the other night. You see I was at a dinner party. Not just any old dinner party but a Gala dinner, and here in Indonesia a gala dinner means pulling out all the stops.

New Kuta Golf was celebrating their third anniversary with a Tournament followed by a Gala dinner. I'm not sure exactly why 3 years is cause for a Gala dinner. Why not 5 years? Or 10 years? And I don't know why they were calling it a Halloween event when Halloween was still weeks away. I don't really care. Because any excuse for a Gala Dinner is a good excuse. Further, if you ever get the chance to go to attend an Indonesian Gala dinner you should, even if you have play in a golf tournament to do so.

To start with there is the greeting line. Most restaurants in the Bali tourist areas have a habit of placing well groomed individuals at the entrance's to attract the customers. The club did the same thing although it was really unnecessary - the customers were all paying club members - Gala dinner remember? The greeting line consisted off all the PR and admin staff decked out in matching black cocktail dresses with lavender sashes. They looked fantastic. And how do they ever manage to remember each and every guest by name?

The dinner itself was tasty although unremarkable. It has to be said that the temporary insanity that prevails on the roads here also occurs in the buffet queue. I nearly lost a hand to some half starved woman armed with a fork who was trying (unsuccessfully) to do a reach around for chicken wing. Defending my spot in the queue took some doing - the secret (and this also could be applied to the roads here) is to exploit any opening and put aside foolish notions of personal space. Eventually appetites were sated and people settled down, drinks in hand, to await the evening's entertainment.

Given the current national paranoia over morality one might expect some sort of traditional music or dance group to occupy us between door prize giveaways. But this is a gala dinner.What we got was a group of "sensual" dancers (can't say sexy any more - pity) clad in supertight spandex who performed to wild applause from the mixed audience of men, women and children. Whoa! Besides the dance troupe there was a band, some fire baton-twirlers and and projector screen sized infomercial from one of the sponsors - a low point. Things took on a more surreal tone when the tournament winner performed, on request, a very credible version of Frank Sinatra's My Way. How? Why?

The dinner ended abruptly with the simultaneous announcement of the final door prize - some sort of people carrier - and the end of the free flow from the beer sponsor. As everyone bolted for the doors I hung back to avoid being trampled and reflectively nursed the last of my Heineken. To line up these events would take some doing. There are sponsors to find, menus to be organised, and a timetable flexible enough to accomodate the vagaries of the weather (rainy season now). The cost for a dinner and a round of golf was very reasonable if comparing other entertainment options around here. And where else on earth can you have a singing golf champ?

Only in Bali.

Only at a Gala Dinner.

Detours

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 02:07:00 +0000

I took a short time out on my way home to do a weeks training in Montrose, Scotland. Its been a very interesting few days in spite of the weather being rather chilly. Ah the joys of high winds and freezing rain. The course itself has been very interesting and informative. Its also been a chance to visit some old colleagues who are now instructors at the company training centre and catch up on the juiciest bits of corporate gossip from the north sea world.

I found some time to take some photos along the way. Please enjoy.

Scotland, Or western Alberta?

Starting out from Aberdeen its about an hour to get down to Montrose on the train. Some of the countryside looks surprisingly like Western Canada come harvest time. One thing I like about the UK is that the trains actually work and are a convenience. The 2 hour round trip from Aberdeen costs about 17 pounds. The taxi from the the airport to the train station costs about the same.

High Street, Montrose Scotland

First off note the cut-off statue of the bloke on the right of the photo (try to ignore my lack of photography skills). He is one James Graham, the sixth Earl and first Marquis of Montose. The man lived a very interesting life and unfortunately experienced a most gruesome end in the time when Oliver Cromwell was running things round here. Remember "Braveheart" and how they did in Mel Gibson at the end? Same story for this guy. Actually in light of his demise a cut-off photo is somehow fitting .

The church steeple is spectacular - it was built in 1832.

Montrose Public Library

I put this in because I like the building. The library was built in 1908 for "a grand sum of 8000 pounds" according to the local watchman. It just happens to be across the street from a takeaway joint that I frequented during my stay. Not much to do while the pizza is in the oven. The library is nice on the inside as well.

The Dog Park

Found this on the sidewalk. Until today I have never seen an urban parking spot just for dogs. What a great idea. I daresay you would need something a little bit sturdier for anything larger than a Jack Russel.

Medal Course At Dawn

Montrose does have a couple of nice golf courses. Unfortunately I did not find the opportunity to play!. It just wouldn't do to have a post about Scotland that does not have a golf photo in it.

Graduation Picture

I did go to Scotland for reasons other than getting photos for this blog. The course entailed the evaluation of Cased Hole Logs and was attended by a number or folks from various oil and service companies. The instructor (second from right- back row) was quite engaging and I found the lectures to be very specific to what I am doing now. Its a subject that is getting more attention especially since that BP disaster in the Gulf Coast. All in all it was a week well spent. Now its time to get home.

The Boat

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:21:00 +0000

The Old Y in 1967

There are certain sounds that remind you of just one place. For me its the rattle of shrouds on a boat in the wind. That sound always makes me think of growing up at the lake and old family boat.

Back in the 60's the old man bought a boat for the family. It wasn't a high powered speed boat or anything flashy like that - it was a variation of an inland lake scow known as a Y-flyer. With its wide beam and flat bottom the "Y" was a great combination of stability and speed, the kind of boat that you could easily take your friends out for that first sailing experience, or race competitively on the weekends. As a family boat it was ideal. You can fit a lot of kids on a Y-flyer and its natural stability made it a forgiving boat to learn on.

Dad wasn't the only one at the lake with a Y. In the 70's they were a popular racing class and come Sunday mornings we could easily see 10-20 Y's jostling for position at the big orange marker in front of our cottage. Sailing races were part of the growing up culture and lake conversations in those days revolved around the fancy new spinnaker that so-and-so just bought and who made the best snacks at the post race coffee parties.As kids we all learned to tack and gybe before we could drive a car and any one of us could differentiate between a bowline and a reef knot.

In the 70's the Y-flyer faced competition from smaller, nimbler, easier-to-rig boats such as the Laser and the windsurfer. Y-flyers tended to heavy side which made their launching and storage a group activity as well as being awkward to right in the event of a capsize. A blustery day in 1975 nearly wiped out the fleet during an interprovincial regatta. By the eighties the Y-flyer numbers were in serious decline.

Our own Y was sold in the early nineties only for the reason that it was becoming a chore launching it every spring and hauling it up in October. My brother bought the boat back after a few years - perhaps he missed the rattle of the rigging in the wind - only to find out that to properly refit it the entire deck would have to removed. The project daunted even his considerable talents and so the old Y was donated to the local sailing club. To replace the Y-flyer he found a used Laser-II at a firesale price which is a fine boat in itself but not something that's comfortable to sit in. We kept a lookout for other Y's to buy but the boat had become scarce and nothing was appearing in the local ads that looked interesting.

Fast forward to a year ago. We saw a notice on a community centre that some guy had a Y-flyer for sale, about the same age as our old boat. We gave him a call and were pleasantly surprised to find a boat in very good condition. The thing had hardly been used and was being stored indoors. My brother was so impressed that he bought it staightaway and sent me some photos showing off his new catch. Apparently she sails as good as she looks. I'm already looking forward to next year, to hear once more the sound of a boat with so many memories attached to it.

The New Y in Action

Wine with dinner?

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 19:53:00 +0000

I thought this was interesting. Farmers in the Okanagan valley are feeding their cattle wine. Apparently it makes them taste better. I wonder if this happens anywhere else? I'm also wondering what this says indirectly about Okanagan wines. Anybody know?

The Okanagon is a region of British Columbia known for its hot dry summers. They grow a lot of fruit there (cherries, peaches and the like, as well as grapes).

tilting at windmills

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:53:00 +0000

I can't think of a better metaphor to describe the current Minister Of Communication's fetish with cleansing the Indonesian web sphere of porn just in time for Ramadan this August. He certainly has his windmills lined up. But who is he kidding really? By his own lieutenant's admission his ministry is incapable of blocking more than 3000 porn sites per day. The Internet porn business creates some 4 million sites per day - created by some of the most Internet-savy people on the web. So, according to my math. the government may at best be able to block some 40,000 sites before Ramadan. That leaves only a mere 39, 960,000 porn sites for the porn crazed, sex staved, uberhorny, morally challenged rakyat to nibble on before their annual month long abstinence. This solution will be as much use as issuing spoons to Jakarta residents to prevent flooding during rainy season. I'm not even going to bother with the sms text porn,sms picture porn and cell phone porn movies flying around the country for years now. You don't even need the Internet for that shit.

Here is some free advice for the good minister. You wanna limit the effects of porn? Start with your kids. Watch a porn video with them or at least sit them down for a nice chat. Trust me, they will probably be so creeped out from watching/discussing porn with their parents that any possible mystique will be totally and irretrievably lost. Failing that you could foist off your kids sex education on the public school system or leave it to the dvd merchants in glodok. Implementing blanket bans may garner the morality vote but really its a fig leaf covering your own inability to deal sensibly with the problem.

Things Missed

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 13:55:00 +0000

Its time to go back to work. I've enjoyed this little trip to Canada even though I nearly froze to death.

Certain things you just can't take with you.
Here are some in no particular order

Good music and bookstores - I've missed shopping for Cd's. Buying music online just isn't the same.
Morning crosswords - nice way to take your coffee
Boats and big brothers - I enjoyed the unscheduled lesson on sailing without the rudder, but I really don't care to try that again.
Large furry animals - you know who you are.
Old friends. Funny how you can pick up with them where you left off the year before.
Working Bureaucrats (especially the folks that helped with my passport).
Big skies and cruise control - no better way to see the province.
Hot rum toddies - nothing better after a cold day on the water - or a cold day for that matter - Well, come to think of it, anytime is a good time for these babies.
Alberta Beef - I think I haven eaten an entire cow (bit by bit) over the last three weeks. Cutting my steak with a spoon and washing it down with a nice Italian red - heaven!
Hi Speed Internet - Oh the joy of it!
Family

Did I mention large furry animals?

Jake the oversized puppy

waffle...latest addition to the clan

Addictions

noreply@blogger.com (pj) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:16:00 +0000

I read The Hobbit in eighth grade. In that time I was travelling in the Kananaskis country and perhaps it was the combination of story and scenery that did me in. I was hooked. Upon finishing The Hobbit I immediately sought out The Lord Of the Rings and spent the next year reading it over and over again, ever trying to squeeze out the last bits of trivia from its appendices. A few colleagues from school shared my addiction and we would happily debate the geography of Midde Earth or how to pronounce Osgilliath, Mithrandir, Orthanc and other names and places from Tolkien's World. But if I thought I was an LOTR geek, than these guys take the cake. Imagine making movie prequels - this is geekism on a whole new level. I actually sat down and watched both these films, the first concerning the heritage of Aragorn, and the second centered on the hunt for Gollum. For actors working on a pretty low budget - the project cost only $40,000 or so - I thought it was a very reasonable effort. Enjoy the films - they are after all still free.