I think there’s this inexplicable void and angst attached to going to art school elsewhere, only because my own BFA experience left a lot to be desired. But that’s another story.

My only resolve really is to get better and to learn how to save. Honestly, I think I’m getting better at saving, so that’s good. I’m so far behind my financial goal, but I think panicking will make it worse, so I’m trying not to panic about money. That’s the worst thing to do. And, of course, blowing your cash the minute you get it. I remember finding out when I was younger that it is not a norm for kids my age to have their own savings accounts. (I thank my parents for planning for our financial future and habits, and for thinking ahead.)

Anyway, I’m just going to power through, I suppose. And build my body of work. Here’s my “collection” of work, so far:
 

http://carina-santos.com/

Not very impressive at the moment, but I think I’ll get there. I just have to spend time really evaluating my work. It’s so hard, because it’s something that’s close to my heart (and ego), but I know that unearthing the flaws and weak points in my work will eventually lead to a stronger style and better expression.

Anyway, just some weird life and future thoughts on a Saturday morning. The Field Notes giveaway will end tomorrow, by the way. Better get your last minute entries in!

I have successfully accomplished 4 out of 10 January Goals, which seems pretty pitiful, I guess.

Here are my February goals, with some of January’s goals carried over:

• Read 7 books
• Exercise 3 times a week
• Save 50% of paycheck
• Revive Maybe Very Happy
• Organization
        — Workspace
        — Room (Spring Cleaning)
• Start working on an exhibit for June
• Do branding for shop
• Work on online portfolio (Funnily enough, I did this in January)
        — Design business cards. Print them.
• Get better at film photography
        — Get the Nikon FM-2 fixed

I like doing monthly goals because I get to fine-tune my “progress” during the year. I know it’s kind of a dorky thing to do, but I like having a way to steer me towards the person I want to be. Or at least, some kind of accountability for my own goals.

Sometimes I don’t use up all the film I have in my camera, so when I have them processed, they’re a jumble of adventures and mishaps. It’s fun looking through them, especially when enough time has passed between the events. I took a Sproket snapshot of The National’s Singapore show, but it must have been too dark (even with the flash), that I won’t even post the outcome. I wish I took more shots. Oh well, lesson learned.

Manila, Philippines: December 2011

I’ve come to realize that a) I don’t really like Lomography film (except for the X-Pro Chrome and Tungsten variants), b) I’m not very good at film photography, and c) I need to learn how to read light.

Manila, Philippines x Mayoyao, Ifugao, Philippines: December 2011 x January 2012

It’s hard to make film photographs not come off as snapshotty. I guess that’s my main goal, after everything. It’s funny, but usually, when I’m not good at something, I drop it like a hot potato. It’s not a trait that I’m particularly proud of, but there you go. Funnily enough, this particular failure has made me very persistent. I won’t quit until I get good enough at it, or if I run out of money, spending it on seemingly frivolous things like film (read: things that are expensive that I don’t even earn from).

Stick; Manila, Philippines: December 2011

Hong Kong Disneyland: October 2011

October 2011
Hong Kong

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December 2011
The Grim Repat x Ang Bandang Shirley:

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Mayoyao, Ifugao
January 2012

At about this time last week, I was cozying it up with three other people on a bunch of rice sacks on the hardwood floor of a Spanish-Ifugao house built in the 1950s. We went there on a rice-planting (Pfukhay ad Majawjaw) and cultural trip—something close to experiencing an Ifugao culture that is similar to but not quite the same as those from Banaue. Stick and co. filmed it for their thesis. It was a really good experience.

We left Thursday night and arrived Friday morning. After a short rest at the Milcah Lodge, we gathered up some of our stuff and trekked down the mountain for “homestay,” which basically meant that we invaded someone’s house for a night.

The trek down was kind of scary because we had to walk on the “rims” of the rice paddies and balance ourselves with everything else we had been carrying. Which is tons hard when, all around you, there’s just so much beauty you rarely get to see in the city.

Addresses and directions are sort of funny, too.

“Where are we going?”

“That part down there with the three coconut trees.”

This marks our descent, leaving the “city central” of Mayoyao.

We found goats along the way. One nearly rammed into Karina (a different one!) because of goat noises.

Unlike the Banaue rice terraces, the Mayoyao terraces don’t have a communal living area apart from their paddies. Their workplace is usually right in front of their houses.

The house we stayed in! It’s two levels with a bridge-type thing that you cross. On the ground are chicken coops and a place to hang laundry.

We eat in a circle on this cobblestone-y ground. It’s nice at night because all the stars are out. On this trip, I looked for ‘Carina’ and (partly) found it.

For nga-nga, or betel nuts, lime and some powdered shell things. Chewing on these helps warm people up when it’s cold. It turns people’s mouths red, too.

What has affectionately been dubbed as a Nga-nga Session.

Doggy paw prints on the path!

We went on a small trek to an ancient burial site called Apfo’or. There are two other known burial sites but they were located on different mountain peaks.

Sometimes, you can forget how horrifying it is to be stepping on a foot-thin path with a high drop on one side and a rice paddy on the other side, just because of how beautiful it sometimes is.

Special thanks to Isa who lent me her hiking shoes. Minimized clumsiness, at least.

Gracie voluntarily stepped into a rice paddy with no one asking her to.

Kuya Andro, Drew the sound guy, Gracie, Stick, Sarie.

It was like filming a documentary on rice paddies while being terrified for your life.

Chick-a-dees!

Rice paddies! These bunches are transplanted into bigger “lots” so that they can yield more crops. Their rice is amazing, but they only make as much as they need so if you want some, I think you have to place an order. It’s enthralling, the thought of being self-sustaining, but I (guiltily) cannot fathom living without the other things I like eating that I cannot grow myself.

Like walking beside murky clouds.

Truthfully, the gorgeousness of everything really trumped the terrifying nature of the trek. At one point, Karina and I had to pretend that getting back home was like an immunity challenge on Survivor.

After this declaration, of course, I nearly slipped and fell to my tragic demise.

We headed back while there was still light.

This rooster ruled all.

Imagine having this view as a backyard. Look at those mountains. It really felt like I was trotting along Middle Earth, except I didn’t meet singing elves or stinging spiders along the way.

The next morning was planting day! I don’t have pictures of this because I was too busy planting (truth), so I’ll wait for Gracie’s batch.

After planting, they have a ritual to do with chickens. They slaughtered one in front of us, and it had to be done inside the house (for some reason). Their house is also very cool, if I may say so. Everything is in one room.

To the right of this kitchen, for example, is their sleeping area.

Karina teaching tatay to shoot with Gracie’s Canon 5D Mark II, which I have fallen in love with, much to the dismay of the Nikon fan in me. Still thinking about whether or not I should invest in this camera.

Sleepy doggy.

Part III (and IV?) to come in the next few days. Relishing this trip, I guess. I’ve cocooned myself at home and have refused to go out (kind of) but I don’t know if that’s an after-effect of this trip or a manifestation of my true form—that of a lazy worm.

I might be the hugesest Field Notes fan that I know. It all started when eliepstein kindly sent me a Just Below Zero 3-Pack, and the rest as they say, is history. I can’t help it; they are so useful, and so pretty.

A lot of people have asked me where I get my Field Notes fix and are dismayed when I say that I order all the way from Chicago, IL, where these beauties are made. I’m happy to announce that Avalon.ph has now made the classic Field Notes books available in the Philippines!

Avalon.ph and Nothing Spaces (me!) are giving away an original 3-pack (ruled paper) and the 2012 18-Month Workstation Calendar to one lucky winner!

I use Field Notes for everything. It’s a no-fuss notebook, that is both useful and easy on the eyes. I’m a huge Futura nerd, so I love the design to pieces. It’s also great for lists, sketches, notes (for reviews and blog drafts), and full-blown sketch battles with my dad in the emergency room:

Field Notes is a super portable notebook, great to keep in the back of your jeans or shirt pocket. It’s slim enough so that it’s not a nuisance to bring around, but the 48-pages are just the right amount before you’d need to whip out another one.

Did I mention that it’s beautiful?

The paper is lined with a soft brown soy-based ink.

The back of the calendar has a list of useful dates.

FIELD NOTES GIVEAWAY MECHANICS
Winner of the Field Notes set (Ruled 3-pack and 18 Month Workstation Calendar) will be picked at random using a randomizer. Do at least one of the following; each counts as an entry for you. Open only to residents of The Philippines.

1. For Twitter users: Tweet “Dear Nothing Spaces and Avalon.ph, I am joining because I want to remember now. http://bit.ly/ns-fieldnotes #NSGiveaway” You can tweet only once during the contest. Don’t forget to use the hashtag.
2. For Tumblr users: Follow my tumblr and reblog this entry. Each counts as 1 entry.
3. For Nothing Spaces readers: comment with something you want to remember
   or link http://bit.ly/ns-fieldnotes in a blog entry and comment on this post with the link.

Good luck! Comment if you have any questions or clarifications.

———

Avalon.ph has been up and running since 1999. It’s a great resource for wonderful limited edition and signed books, among others, gift and novelty items, and stationery, including Moleskine journals, and now—Field Notes! They carry all the original variations, but will eventually make other products (Steno pad, pencils, etc) available as well. For more information on Field Notes products available on Avalon.ph, click here.

You can also check them out here:
Google+: http://gplus.to/avalonph
Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/avalonph
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/avalonph

Last weekend, I went up to Mayoayo, Ifugao with a group doing a thesis on them. If you know me, then you’d know that I’m not really an outdoorsy person—even when it comes to going out into the city. I like being relaxed and cozy at home. Still, it was a great experience, even for a hobbit like me.

Our trip began at 8 in the evening, where we boarded a bus to Santiago, Isabela. Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve boarded a public bus with strangers. We reached our destination at about 4 the next morning, and went on a four-hour drive up the mountain in the dark.

And then, the sun came up.

Gracie’s “Tampon Face”

Gasoline rainbows!

Sprocket Rocket images from Hong Kong! Featuring: Stanley Park, Disneyland, The Peak, and the view from thousands of miles up in the air. Lomography CN 100.

Got these prints today. They suck. I have to get better~ at taking film pictures. One, because I like it a lot, and two, because I think it’s a good skill to have (knowing proper techniques, etc). Truthfully, I was way better when I started out, although I used to use a Nikon FM-2. It’s broken now, so I’ve been using a Nikon FE. I’ll have the FM-2 fixed one of these days.

Lomography Tungsten

X-Pro Chrome

If you haven’t seen the video it is here:

I’m having a lot of trouble with this film. I think it works best on bright, sunny days, but I’ll be sad if I end up with another roll like this.

I have other shots on this roll, but not from this day. If anyone can help, that would be awesome.
(I shot at ISO 64.)

Since my last post here, I’ve finished reading three books on my Kindle, namely J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” (a review of which can be found here), Sara Zarr’s “Story of a Girl,” and Julian Barnes’ “The Sense of an Ending,” all of which I love to pieces. Funnily enough, my busy self has found time to read—funnily enough, on a Kindle—but I suppose it’s Internet activity that has suffered a decline. Good thing or bad thing, you decide!

So far, I’ve been successful with four January goals, the four being Get two big projects, Work six hours a day, five days a week, Save 50% of my paycheck, and Write down all expenses. Begin budgeting. Obviously have not been exercising. I thought I had a good motivation, but I guess that’s not enough. I’ll try again, though. January is still young and there is still a lot of fat to be lost.

2012 has been exciting, to say the least. I’ll be exhibiting some more works for a group show next week (I’ll post the details as soon as I can) and also next week, I’m taking a trip to the mountains! This is exciting because I’ve always wanted to go exploring up north and also because I’ve just read “The Hobbit,” which still makes my heart ache in numerous places but has also somehow planted this weird seed of adventure in me. Seeing a little part of the world from a mountaintop would be a great start; I can’t wait!

Speaking of traveling—while it looks to be a year that’s full of traveling for me—I came upon this gorgeous list from the New York Times, 45 Places to Go to in 2012, and obviously I can’t possibly go to all of these places, but it’s a great reminder of what kind of adventure could lie behind your door. My mountain is not on this list; in fact, only two places are. But, I feel like it’s a start.

I’ve always loved traveling, but I think my sense of exploration and discovery has somehow been dulled. I like seeing different cities, but when I’m on the plane, from way high up, I always wonder what it’d be like to get lost in something other than buildings and metal structures and monuments and seas of people. I’ve been watching a lot of Survivor‘s past seasons lately, and behind all the scheming and starving, it’s such a beautiful peek into places around the world that I don’t know how I would find myself lost in.

Maybe that’s a romanticism of the wilderness, because I know there are all sorts of threats unimaginable if I chose to coop myself up in cities. But there’s also satiated wonder and an unmatched awe in the God that created these places.

I’ve always said that I wanted to see the world, and lately I’ve been thinking about which parts I want to see. Which parts I would gladly be uncomfortable for. I’ve been thinking about taking risks a lot, and I’ve realized that sometimes the greatest payouts come from the greatest risks. I don’t mean to sound like a cliché and announce my newfound lifestyle of being a daredevil explorer with a constant need for an adrenaline fix. What I want to say is that when I say I want to see the world, I mean that I want to really see all of it. Not just the manicured lawns, or the smooth roads, or some local iteration of Starbucks and McDonald’s. I still want to cities, yes. I want to see art and culture and different sorts of places, but I want to see the earth that was before everything started becoming what it is now.

The world is so big. I suppose I’ve got to get moving.

This year, I have decided not to make any resolutions, partly because I don’t follow them anyway. Rather, I thought about what my 2011 had been and thought about what I had learned and experienced, and how I could make my 2012 better. So, instead, I have GOALS.

My head is a muddle right now, so I don’t feel very comfortable sharing my big, long-term goals. I also believe in keeping some things secrets for the time being. Anyway, I’m copying an LJ friend who had been doing a monthly goals type of thing for a few years now.

Doing Monthly Goals instead of Yearly Resolutions is helpful because it gives you a chance to review your progress more closely and also to regroup after each month. Big, yearly resolutions are harder to keep track of, but I think it’s good to have overarching goals each year, to kind of direct you towards specific choices. Arriane actually does annual thematic overhauls, which I think is super interesting, but a little intimidating and overwhelming for a first timer like me. Maybe next year.

As for myself, here are my JANUARY GOALS:

• Read 7 books.
• Go on the treadmill at least 3 times a week. (I’ll explain later.)
• Get two big projects. YAY.
• Work six hours a day, five days a week. (Or a total of thirty hours a week.)
• Save 50% of each paycheck.
• Write down all expenses. Begin accounting.
• Mail out all pending packages.
• Fix/fine-tune Recovery.
• Writing project with Liana.
• Maybe revive Maybe Very Happy.