notSupermum

Getting my garden ready for summer with Love your Garden expert Katie Rushworth and Tesco

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 19:21:00 +0000

Last week I was lucky enough to get some gardening advice from Katie Rushworth from ITV's Love your Garden who gave me some top tips on getting the garden ready for summer. It's not very often you get the opportunity for a professional gardener cast an eye over your garden, so I was very excited to see what she might say about mine.

We were meant to talk on the phone, but due to our work commitments we decided that email was the way to go! I was asked to send some photos of the garden and three questions for Katie to answer, which sounds great, but when you're selecting photos for a professional gardener to case their eye over you suddenly get a bit nervous. I'm very much a beginner, and so although there are parts of the garden I'm quite pleased with there are other areas that are either in need of work or just look a bit of a mess.

I chose the following photos because they illustrated the problems I'm currently having, but please bear in mind that these are aspects of the garden that are usually carefully edited out!

You can read Katie's answers below, and I've also selected a few items based on her answers that are available from the impressive gardening range at Tesco.

The choisya is the white flowering shrub in the centre of the photo

Question: The Choisya is beautiful but is getting too big and overcrowding the border. I'm nervous about pruning it because when I pruned a previous one I noticed it began to turn brown and a few weeks later it was dead (not sure what I did wrong). When is the best time to prune, and can you give me some tips on how to prevent damaging it.

Katie: You need to prune it immediately after it has flowered. Always cut back to an outward facing new shoot and make your cut diagonally. Try not to remove more than 50% of the plant, that way it won’t be too shocked. Then mulch around the base of the plant with either well-rotted manure, homemade compost or a general fertilizer. Last but not least, give it a nice big drink of water.

Flower girl secateur pruning set

Heritage cream metal watering can

Question: I had a huge cherry tree pruned earlier this year to let more light into the garden, as a large proporion of the garden including the the lawn was very shady. Do you think that was that a factor in the lawn being so patchy? What your advice for making it look green again?

Katie: Yes, it is very likely that the tree was an issue. You can patch it up in the same way as you would any lawn however I would suggest you buy grass seed specifically for a shady area (it usually states very clearly on the box that is a suitable for shade)

Make sure you remove any bare patches by getting rid of any dead grass and moss from the area. Then sprinkle some topsoil, followed by some lawn seed. A final fine dressing of topsoil will keep any wildlife from eating the seed as well as ensure that the seed comes into contact with the soil. Lightly water to prevent any of the seed from being disturbed.

Hand push cylinder lawn mower, perfect for a small lawn like mine

Complete 4-in-1 lawn food

Question: Over the last year or so, the decking and pergola area has been badly damaged in storms. I want to replace it but I'm on a tight budget, what would you suggest?

Katie: Given that you want to keep costs down I would first clear out everything that is broken and overgrown. I’d also re-paint the brick wall and re-stain the decking along with some old pallets. Stack the newly stained pallets on top of one another (usually only two high) to create a corner seating area, dress with big cushions and make a canopy from some strung up some festival lights.

Mason Jar Solar Lights

Water resistant pallet seat cushion

UV resistant sail canopy

And just because I love it, and we have a resident hedgehog, how about this gorgeous little hedgehog house:

I've already taken on board some of the advice, and I've pruned the choisya and reseeded part of the lawn. I'm also planning to start work on clearing the decking area and making a seating area with lighting. I'll be updating with photo evidence soon, and hope that I haven't done more damage than good.

Do you have any gardening tips? What would you do with that messy decking and pergola area?

This post is in collaboration with Tesco. Words, photos and selection of items are my own.

Choosing clothes after losing weight

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 29 May 2017 18:45:00 +0000

Last year I lost 3 stone in weight (42lbs). It took me the whole year to lose it by following a simple 'easy less and move more' approach and I plan to lose another 3 stone, which would make a whopping 84lb loss altogether.

One of the unexpected pleasures from losing weight has been shopping for clothes.

When I was at my biggest I was a size 22, pushing a 24 if I'm honest, and having to choose clothes was excruciating. I hated trying things on, they usually didn't fit or didn't suit me, but if I could get into them I'd buy them purely because it was a relief to find something, anything, that fitted me.

At size 18 there are a lot more options, but it's also more fun to try things on. I don't need to shop at specialist shops anymore, and the pleasure in finding clothes in a regular shop still hasn't lost it's appeal.

I spend most of my time in jeans and trousers, but if we get a summer this year I want to stay cool without getting my legs out (not my best asset) so the answer has to be the summer maxi dress.

I love this Joe Brown's slightly retro style dress. It's cotton so would be lovely and cool to wear, and what a great colour. Would be perfect for a summer BBQ, weather permitting of course.

I love a monochrome dress, and this one has my name all over it. I like this wrap over bodice and the stretch jersey fabric would pack easily into a suitcase. What's not to love?

I love a hot pink, don't you? I never used to wear it but now I have several pink items in my wardrobe. This floral layer dress has the most flattering bodice and would be very easy to wear - I think it'll be coming with me on holiday this year, and it won't break the bank (I had to look twice at the price).

Ironically, all of these maxi-dresses are available up to a size 32 which would have made clothes shopping a whole lot easier if I'd known!

How do you keep cool in summer? What are your essential summer items?

This is a collaboration post with JD Williams, words and opinions are my own.

Making slow progress in the garden

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 14 May 2017 14:20:00 +0000

Well, since my last post about the garden I've kept to my word and done 20-30 minutes gardening a day. It's about the right amount of time to fit in with everything else, but still have an impact on the garden.

I've tided the curved border, and cleared out quite a few of the hellebores - they had taken over the whole border! I've planted three lupins, plus some irises and a couple of other plants (the names of them escape me at the moment) but it's looking much better. I also made a space to plant out the sweet peas and put some supporting canes in place. I'm hoping we'll have a really good show of sweet peas this summer.

It's at times like this I miss my dad, who was a very good gardener. He would have had a look around the garden and tell me what I should be doing,and give me some handy tips. So I'm very excited that later this week I'm going to be talking to Katie Rushworth* who is one of the gardening experts on Love Your Garden (along with Alan Titchmarsh) and she's going to be giving me some much needed advice about my garden. I can't wait!

What's the best gardening advice you've ever had?

Jean x

*In collaboration with Tesco

Forgive the quality of the photos but they're from my phone, I still haven't bought a decent camera. I have the money saved but can't bear to part with it!

5 ways to keep depression at bay using natural methods

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Thu, 11 May 2017 19:26:00 +0000

For #mentalhealthawareness week I thought I'd share some thoughts on how I have dealt with my own experience of depression, which I've written about before. I took anti-depressants for several years without a break, but taking them over a long period of time isn't ideal for most people, and I wanted to see what else I could do to improve my mental health.

Before making any changes to prescribed medication I recommend speaking to your GP first. I spoke to my GP who suggested weaning myself off them slowly, and introducing the new natural methods at the same time. I did a lot of reading on the subject before taking the plunge and when I was ready I tried out different methods for preventing depressive episodes.

Listed below are some of the things that have worked for me, they're all easily achievable and can be incorporated into a busy lifestyle without too much effort.

I've been doing them for so long now that they've become habits that I don't have to think about, they're just part of my regular daily routines and I'm pretty sure it's what's prevented me having any major depressive episodes for the past 3 years. I'm not saying they will work for everyone but I hope you find something useful here.

1. Try herbal supplements

After being prescribed anti-depressants for years and wanting to try something else I did some research into herbal supplements, and found that St John's Wort is regularly prescribed by German GPs to patients with low levels of depression, and so I decided to give it a go. I started off by taking one a day, and would occasionally increase the dose to two on days when I felt my mood dip or felt a bit low. I took St. John's Wort for a couple of years without any side-effects, and they worked well for me.

I took them for two and a half years without having any dark episodes of depression, although I didn't just take the medication - I also used some of the other natural methods listed below. That's not to say I don't feel down occasionally, I do, but having fluctuations in mood is normal (something that's easy to overlook when you've had depression) and although I no longer feel the need to take a daily dose I keep them in the medicine cabinet for times when I'm feeling a bit down to give me little boost.

You can find more information about using St John's Wort here. They're easy to get hold of too - you can buy them in health foods shops, pharmacies and supermarkets.

2. Get out in the fresh air
This seems pretty obvious, but getting out in the fresh air is one of the best types of medicine for good mental health. Even a 15 minute walk can be enough to clear the mind and there's nothing like getting outside for a brisk walk to blow off the cobwebs.

Not only that but daylight is the best source of vitamin D which is essential for healthy bones, teeth and muscles. Our bodies create vitamin D from direct sunlight on the skin when we're outdoors.

As a dog lover you know I'm going to say that the ideal answer is to get a dog because they demand to be taken out at least twice a day, in all weathers. I do my best thinking when I'm out walking my dog Alice: it's a great time to mull things over and make decisions without the background noise that we become so accustomed to in our daily lives.

You don't even need to have a dog you can borrow one, or just get outside and walk, cycle, go for a run, do some gardening, watch the seasons change, do anything but get out in the fresh air and get that vital boost to the emotional immune system.

3. Do something for someone else

It's always good to do something for someone else, and the reward is that warm and fuzzy feeling when we've done it. I started volunteering for my local Royal Voluntary Service befriending service last year, and I get just as much out of it as the lovely lady I visit every week.

There are always loads of volunteering opportunities (contact your local CVS for volunteering ideas) or just do the occasional random act of kindness.

You'll reap the benefits, I promise.

4. Take a break from social media

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with social media. Most of the time I love it, and have been known to spend far too much time on Twitter, Facebook and (my favourite) Instagram. The problem is that it's not real life, and we're only seeing a carefully edited version of people's. The continual flow of images of lives that always seem so perfect can make it a little hard to take sometimes. There's always someone who is richer, happier, thinner or better looking than us on social media, but it's not always as it seems. Or usually isn't.

I had a chat with a blogger friend recently whose life seems to be made up of exotic travel, glamorous parties and exciting events, but even she told me things weren't as they perfect as they appear to be, and that travelling brought its own set of problems with family logistics and strains on her relationship. It's so easy to believe everything we see, but it isn't real life and for most of us it's also unattainable.

If it feels like it's getting too much take a short break, maybe a day or two. Or make a rule to turn all social media off by, say, 7pm every night for a week. I stepped back from Facebook six months ago, and apart from an initial Fear Of Missing Out, I really haven't missed it much. And as friends and family know I'm no longer on there, they send their news by text or email or, and this is very old school, they tell me in person! I might return to FB one day, but I'll limit the amount of time I spend on there.

5. Get enough sleep

Getting enough sleep is essential for keeping everything on an even keel, and I don't know about you but I don't manage well if I'm not getting a decent night's sleep on a regular basis. Invest in a good mattress, adopt a sleep routine, turn off the telly and tablet, put your phone away and get an early night. A bit of relaxing reading in bed is enough to make me nod off after a few minutes, but do whatever works for you. You deserve an early night.

If you or someone you know is depressed please take the first step and speak to someone about it. Speak to a friend or family member or see your GP. There is more information about Mental Health Awareness Week here.

What are your recommendations for keeping depression at bay?

Making plans for the garden, and a return to blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 01 May 2017 19:23:00 +0000

I've spent most of this bank holiday weekend trying to get the garden under control. As you can see from the photos above, the garden has become a bit overgrown and neglected. It has the bones of a good garden but for several reasons last year I hardly touched it, which has meant some borders are overrun with hellebores (and their giant leaves), nettles or weeds. The lawn is very patchy, a vine has grown so wild it has strangled (and killed) a beautiful choisya in the main border, and a dogwood tree has grown so tall I don't even know what to do with it. The paths and patio are covered in moss, the decking, fence and pergola were badly damaged in the recent Storm Doris and needs to be replaced, and the shed needs some repairs to the roof.

The only thing I've done to improve the garden was to book a tree surgeon to prune the huge cherry tree in the garden. It was much too big and meant that 75% of the garden was always in shade, making it difficult to grow some plants and causing the lawn to be patchy and full of moss. The canopy of the tree is now much more in proportion and is letting the light back into the garden.

I'm kicking myself that I let the garden get into such a state, but last year my priorities were elsewhere and there was little time or inclination for anything else.

So, my plan is to do it in small bite size chunks.

I'm going to try and tackle it for 30 minutes at a time. Thirty minutes is short enough to fit into a busy weekday schedule, and long enough to tackle one job at a time.

I have a list of things that I need to do, some of them more pressing than others:

get the small curved shaped border thinned out, it has become overrun with hellbores;
plant out some favourite cottage garden flowers, such as lupins, delphiniums, foxgloves, sweet peas and dahlias;
clear the paths of moss and weeds
clean the patio
repair the shed roof
tidy the border under the living room window, which gets full sun, and choose some suitable plants to go in
dig up the roots of the choisya, and replace with another shrub (possibly another choisya or perhaps a ceonothus, we had one in our last garden)
plant up some tubs
renovate an old bench I bought, which has seen better days
paint the garden gate
replace the broken fence panel

There are also some bigger jobs that need a bit of planning:

plan what to do with the damaged decking and pergola
get estimates for replacing it
repair the lawn
buy and install some garden lighting

I'm already nervous about the amount of work ahead but hopefully doing it in smaller chunks will help make it more achievable. Watch this space!

I've enjoyed my prolonged break from blogging, but just recently I started to miss it again. The blogging world has changed considerably since I first started 10 years ago, but even so it's still cheap therapy and an enjoyable hobby, and that's enough for me.

So although there won't be any international gallivanting (unfortunately!), fancy photo shoots, or award-winning blog posts, there will be the occasional ramble about parenting, gardening or life in general and the odd photo here and there. It'll be lovely to have your company again.

A week in Devon

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:33:00 +0000

We've just arrived home after a week in Devon. After our holiday there last year it was inevitable that we'd go back, and this time we stayed further south near Totnes and within driving distance of so many beautiful towns and beaches. It really is a stunningly beautiful part of the country, I can't believe we'd never been there before last year.

We stayed in a farm cottage with fabulous sports facilities - swimming pool, badminton court, tennis court, full-sized snooker table, table-tennis, boules, golf. Just brilliant, especially if you've got teenagers in your group and they need something to keep them entertained. I really enjoyed our morning dips in the pool, and trying my hand at badminton again, although I don't have the energy for the game these days.

The weather was pretty mixed for the first few days - as you can probably tell from the dramatic skies in some of the pictures above - but the second half of the week was much better and we managed plenty of beach time.

We managed to visit a few towns: Salcombe, Totnes, and Dartmouth, as well as the fabulous beaches at Shaldon, Blackpool Sands, Hope Cove, Thurlestone and, our favourite, Bantham Beach (top two photos). I haven't edited any of the photos, just thought I'd publish them as they came, although I'm yearning for a new camera.

It was just the three of us this year: me and my two girls, and I wonder every year whether this will be the last time we all go away together as a family. They're getting to the age where they may prefer a holiday with their friends, or boyfriends, and No.1 daughter has already said that she doesn't know what she'll be doing next year, so it could just be two of us, but whatever we do I really want to take our greyhound Alice with us. We didn't take her this year, and as my brother was away at sea, she had to go into kennels, and by all accounts didn't cope very well. She became quite stressed and refused to eat, and has been quite subdued since she came back home. Poor girl.

Now that we're back I'm daydreaming once again about living there. One day maybe.

Saturday mornings with Miriam, and reasons to volunteer

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:09:00 +0000

Not so long ago I wrote about loneliness, and how it's currently an epidemic for our elderly population.

A couple of months later I took my own advice and contacted the Royal Voluntary Service who run a befriending service in my area. A couple of weeks later, and following the required safety checks, I was on my way to my first befriending visit with Miriam, an 87 year old lady who lives less than a mile away from me.

I was nervous and so, it turned out, was she. It's one thing saying you'd like to visit an older person in their own home, but it's quite nerve wracking when you finally get to do it. What if we didn't like each other? What if we ran out of conversation? What if...?

As it turned out we needn't have worried because within a few minutes of meeting, the kettle was on and we were having a cuppa, a choccy biscuit, and a good old natter.

It's been six months since I started visiting Miriam, and it's become part of my weekend routine. Every Saturday morning I call round to see her for an hour or so, and we watch Saturday Kitchen together, talk about all sorts of things - nothing is off limits - and more often than not we have some real belly laughs. We've spent time looking for her childhood home town on my iPad, we even found a photo of the school she attended in the 1930s, and I've introduced her to the joys of social media. She's picked it up really fast too. These days if we need to check something, she'll say "Can you ask twitter?"

She has a wicked sense of humour - when she asked me if I could pick something up from the pharmacy for her I said yes, of course, what do you need? "Condoms," she said, "I've got my eye on the 83 year old fella down the road".

I know Miriam looks forward to my visits because she tells me. She enjoys the company and knowing that she will see someone every week. She recently told me that she used to stay in bed on Saturdays because there was nothing to get up for. Now, she looks forward to my visit and gets up and dressed, does her hair and 'makes an effort'. It's quite humbling to know that our visits mean so much to her, but it also shows how vital this type of service is.

It's not all one-way though, because I get a lot out of it too, it's very rewarding and let's be honest, if feels good to know you're making a difference to someone. But more than that, she's become a good friend, she's had an interesting life and I love asking her about it, plus she's given me some cracking advice over the past few months. Visiting her is a pleasure, not a chore, and I heartily recommend it to anyone who's thought about volunteering.

This week is #VolunteersWeek. There are so many ways you can make a difference, and if you can make that weekly commitment of an hour or so it really is worth doing, I promise. It doesn't have to be befriending, there are plenty of other ways to volunteer that might suit you better.

I can honestly say it's one of the best decisions I've made recently, just wish I'd done it sooner.

Are you a volunteer, or have you considered doing it?

Success happens one pound at a time

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 30 May 2016 15:22:00 +0000

One of the unexpected repercussions of my daughter's illness, is that it's prompted me to take stock of my own health.

When you're a single parent and your child becomes ill it hammers home the message, more than ever before, that you are it. The buck stops with you kiddo, so look after yourself. I've always know this, of course I have, but when you're faced with an uncertain future it really does concentrate the mind on what's important.

So I took a long overdue look at my health and more importantly decided to do something about it.

To cut a long story short I've lost 2 stone (28lbs) since January. I could have probably lost a lot more than that, but I didn't want to do a diet plan or go to a weekly weigh-in class - just not my cup of tea - so I decided to try the 'eat less and move more' approach.

Nothing fancy required, no weighing out of portions, or counting points or calories, just quite simply eating less than I normally did and getting more exercise. I take the dog for longer walks, and have recently started going to Zumba classes, which I love! (now there's a sentence I didn't expect to be writing this year!)

First of all I cut out unhealthy snacks between meals - all the cheeky biscuits, cakes, crisps and chocolate bars that I was in the habit of eating regularly had to go.

In their place came fruit, yoghurts and nuts. I allow myself two snacks a day nowadays - one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and they're usually a banana or apple, and a handful of nuts.

For breakfast I eat the same as I always did - cereal, usually a bran flake type cereal, muesli or porridge - but I use semi-skimmed milk and I watch my portion size.

For lunch, I might have a sandwich, soup, or sometimes a jacket potato with a healthy filling, or my current favourite, poached eggs on granary toast.

For dinner, it'll be fish with plenty of veggies, pasta or a big colourful salad with salmon or tuna.

I still have treats at the weekend though - maybe a takeaway or a meal out, and a couple of glasses of wine - because it makes it easier to maintain the good behaviour for the rest of the week. But here's the difference: I don't overdo it, and when the weekend is over I go back to my sensible eating plan.

I still have a long way to go to get to my ideal weight (I want to lose 6 stone altogether, no biggie...) but the difference is that I know I can do it. It's such a change in outlook to think that I have control over my eating, and that even if I have a bad day it's not the end of the world. I just start afresh the next day and keep going. I'm taking control of my weight one pound at a time.

Eat less, move more. It's not groundbreaking stuff, but it works.

When life throws you a curveball

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 22 May 2016 15:09:00 +0000

Well, this is a bit of a surprise isn't it?

I wasn't expecting to blog for a while, if ever, after taking a prolonged break but here I am again. After an unexpected start to the year, I've had little time to blog, but recently as life as started to settle down again I've began to miss my little corner of the internet.

This year didn't get off to a good start for us. In January my 16 year old daughter, aka Tall Daughter, became seriously ill. It was all very sudden, completely out of the blue, and was a bit of a shock to us to say the least.

Out of respect for my daughter's wishes I'm not going to discuss her medical condition on here, so please bear with me for sounding cryptic, but all I can say is that thankfully it's not a life-threatening illness, but it is a life-changing one.

She was diagnosed and treated very quickly courtesy of our wonderful NHS, and continues to get excellent care and treatment. At the moment, she is at home and settled and we can see a way forward, but it's had some pretty devastating repercussions for her.

Her illness has resulted in her missing huge amounts of school at the beginning of the year and has only been able to return to a part-time timetable, which has meant missing some critical parts of the GCSE curriculum and most of the revision classes, yet despite this she has soldiered on and, so far, has sat all of her exams. She has a few more to go, so fingers crossed.

The last few months have been very difficult for her, and she's worried about the impact it'll have on her GCSE results. We've had many long conversations about what she'll do and what will happen if she doesn't get her predicted grades, but her health has to come first and we'll just have to figure out the rest later. I'm incredibly proud of her.

You know that saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans"? That seems particularly apt this year. We were just getting to the stage where I had lots of free time, with one daughter at uni and the other one due to start college, and both of them developing into very independent young women, But this year isn't turning out the way we expected it to and, hand on heart, I can tell you that this is the hardest thing I've had to deal with as a parent.

But, we have a lot to be thankful for, and as I keep saying to Tall Daughter, everything is going to be okay.

Anyway, how are you? How has your year been so far?

Christmas wishes and a thank you

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 13:16:00 +0000

It's Christmas Eve although it doesn't feel like it - it's 10 degrees outside, the sun is shining and it feels more like spring.

Our Christmas decorations have been up for a few days, the food shopping was done yesterday, and the dog is wearing her Christmas collar, but even though I always intend to be more organised and wrap the presents early on I always end up doing it on Christmas Eve. So in a few minutes I'm going to make a cup of tea, decamp to my bedroom, put the radio on, and get on with the wrapping.

In the meantime I'd like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year. I hope 2016 brings you everything you wish for yourself.

Thank you for visiting my blog this year, and in previous years if you're a long-time reader. I really have appreciated each visit and the time you've taken to leave comments.

Thanks again,

Jean x

P.s. If you're spending Christmas Day on your own and you're a Twitter user there's the #joinin hashtag to help you feel a little less alone. You can read more about it here.

5 things you can do to save money without even noticing it

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 06 Dec 2015 17:29:00 +0000

We're heading towards the most expensive time of year, so I'm pleased to share this post with you about saving money without even noticing. I hope you find it useful!

Since Christmas is coming and all the huge spendings are coming as well, we should sit down and discuss a few ways how you can prepare yourself for that. We all need to relax a little bit and just try to slow down our spendings. Therefore, today I am going to share five super great and almost invisible things you can do before Christmas to save some money for a perfect gift! So – here they are! Have fun!

Sleep well
Believe it or not, but if you sleep well, you will feel well and so you will keep yourself away from overspending. To be fair, getting a good night’s sleep might improve your decision making. And what depends on everything you do during your day – shopping included. Furthermore, if you sleep enough, you will improve your impulse control as well. So just by sleeping around seven hours per night might drastically improve not only your health but finances too.

Use coupons
This requires a little bit of your time and energy, but the results of couponing will be amazing. I bet that you get many coupons with your newspapers or magazines, so all you need to do is to cut them out and bring to a store. Moreover, searching for discounts online is not that hard either.

Eat breakfast
Another thing you can do and save money without noticing is eating breakfast! Many people skip this essential meal of the day for some reason, and they are making a huge mistake. Eating in the morning is not only good for your health (because the body absorbs all the nutrition better in the morning) but directly affects your mood and so – shopping habits as well. Hungry people are angrier and more impulsive, so by having good and big breakfast every morning you will do more good than harm for yourself. Furthermore, if you eat more in the morning, you will eat less during lunch or dinner. And so – won’t spend tons of money on groceries as well.

Drink water
Drinking water works on a few levels as well. First of all, by drinking a glass of room temperature still water in the morning help your body hydrate and also makes less space for food. So you won’t overeat and won’t overspend on grocery bills. So do that then you eat at home! While eating out, also remember this tip. In fact, alcohol and other beverages cost a few times more than table water. Also, these drinks make you feel even hungrier as well. By ordering water, you won’t only spend less in a restaurant, but also live healthier and eat less too.

Hang out with frugal friends

And finally, if you wish to save money for Christmas and just on an everyday basis, you should take a better look at people you hang out with. If your friends love to party and go out every weekend, you might naturally spend more money with them. While if you spend time with a group of people who prefer cheaper entertainment, you will save money. Your friends can be a huge influence on you, and we naturally take some habits from them as well. So if you want to save money, choose to hang out with people who have the same goals, and you won’t even notice that you are living frugally.

Small space living

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 06 Dec 2015 17:07:00 +0000

This time next year we could be moving house.

Our five-year house share arrangement with my brother will have come to an end, and because I'm reluctant to get tied into another fixed term mortgage deal I'm probably going to downsize to a (much) smaller house, taking my daughters, the dog and my squashy sofas with me.

Or maybe not the squashy sofas, because no matter what I do they never look tidy. Washing the covers makes them shrink slightly and then after wrestling with them to get them back onto the sofa, it looks great for about a day. Then we're back to a messy looking seating area.

Here's the evidence. Before washing, and after. What a difference.

I should add that they're now back to the 'before' version.

Next time I buy a sofa I'll buy one that will look much tidier and not require constant washing and plumping of cushions.

One of the things I've been doing to prepare for the move, apart from decluttering, is to talk to the girls about the benefits of living in a smaller house. They've always been lucky enough to have their own bedrooms, and while that won't change they'll probably be much smaller, and of course there'll be less living space.

So I'm trying to sell downsizing to them as having cosier rooms, being easier to keep clean and cheaper to run (and therefore more money for other, more fun, stuff) but they're not sold on it at the moment. I clearly have more work to do in that area, but give me time.

By coincidence, the first house I ever owned has come back on the market and I pass it on my daily walks with Alice, our greyhound. It's a tiny little cottage on a quiet lane and opposite the village green and I lived there very happily for over 12 years, and even though it was the tiniest two-up, two-down terrace everyone who visited loved it and I was very reluctant to leave.

Maybe it's a subconscious desire to recreate those happy days in my little house, who knows, but this time next year I'll be on the lookout for something similar.

For me, the beauty of living in a smaller house is eliminating superfluous items and finding creative and more efficient ways to furnish rooms and store belongings. I'm currently obsessed with Apartment Therapy and their features about small space living. So many gorgeous homes with small footprints that use ingenious ways to use the limited space.

And what about this tiny house, which I absolutely love, which is home to two adults and two children? Could you live in such a small place? I think I could, not sure about my daughters though.

November things

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 29 Nov 2015 12:43:00 +0000

November is always a busy month for us. Not only do both of my girls have birthdays this month, but they are only one day apart on the 12th and 13th.

When they were little they used to share a party, but not anymore, so the celebrations seem to last over an entire week with their various birthday meals, parties or sleepovers taking place before everything's all over for another year.

This year we celebrated The Teenager's 19th birthday, and Tall Daughter's 16th. I still struggle to believe that they're both so grown up now, and that this is the last year The Teenager will actually be a teenager. How can she be 20 next year? Surely she was only watching the Teletubbies a couple of years ago?

And as Tall Daughter reliably informs me, now she's turned the magic 16, she's old enough to join the army, drive a tractor and buy a lottery ticket. There is also the matter of her being old enough to do ...erm...other stuff but we'll gloss over that for now.

We went into Manchester on their birthday weekend for a meal, and then onto the Christmas market next to the Lowry centre. This chocolate brownie stall was very popular - your choice of brownie with hot chocolate sauce and cream poured over, very naughty but totally irresistible!

Tall Daughter and I went into town last week to see the Weeping Window poppy installation at St. George's Hall. We didn't get the chance to see the installation at the Tower of London last year, so we were keen to see this smaller but no less moving display. It was pouring with rain when we got there, and fenced off (open during the daytime though) so we viewed it from several feet away but it was still beautiful and probably easier to see because of the lack of crowds. Each poppy represents a life lost from one of the Liverpool regiments during the first world war.

I love Liverpool at night time, it's such a beautiful city and very European looking. If you get the train into Lime Street station the first thing you see on exiting the front entrance is the huge neo-classical St. George's Hall building.

It forms part of the cultural quarter with the adjacent (and equally impressive) buildings in William Brown Street which include the Central Library, Walker Art Gallery and World Museum. I love walking around this part of the city, and at night with the old fashioned street lights, illuminated buildings and cobbled streets, it's just gorgeous.

Since subscribing to an unlimited cinema ticket at the beginning of the year I've been trying to go to the cinema at least once a week. Some months the choices have been dire, so I haven't always managed it but at this time of year there's usually a lot to choose from.

This month I've seen The Lady in the Van (loved it, Maggie Smith is an absolute joy), The Dressmaker (a quirky black comedy) and Black Mass (Johnny Depp is brilliant in it). I also wanted to see Brooklyn and Carol, but neither of them were showing in the local area, which is a shame.

And now we're already on the countdown to Christmas. At the risk of sounding like Scrooge - bah Humbug! - I think the whole festive period starts way too early each year. By the time the big day comes everything seems to have run out of steam, we're fed up of seeing the same ads on telly and the real meaning of Christmas seems to get lost in a commercialised haze. I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that, am I?

And finally, this month I started working full-time for the first time in 12 years! I'm still getting used to it, but it seems okay so far. Actually, tell the truth, I did try full-time a couple of years ago when I started working for a charity but combined with a very long commute it all added up to a very tiring working week so after a few months I cut back to four days a week. Now I work close to home which means I can get back quickly at the end of the day, and with one daughter at uni and the other old enough to drive her own tractor, I'm not needed as much at home anymore. I think we'll be okay.

What have you been up to this month?

Making some changes in the bedroom and getting a better night's sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 20:57:00 +0000

As mentioned in my previous post, I've been making some changes as recommended by a sleep expert in an effort to improve the quality of my sleep.

It's taken me a little longer than I expected, mainly because I've been having awful lower back problems which have been going on for weeks now (inflammation of the facet joints, very painful).

One of the recommendations was to clear the bedroom of clutter, technology and anything that doesn't belong in there. I hate having an untidy bedroom, but I'd noticed a gradual build of of clutter which had been driving me mad! So, a couple of weekends ago, I decided to bite the bullet and sort it all out.

I'd been wanting to paint the bedside cabinets for a while, so they were the first things to be emptied. I've had them for years, and they're in good nick but were looking a bit...orange.

Then I cleared everything from under the bed. For some reason there were several of those large 'under bed storage' bags full of things we either didn't use, need or want anymore. I also went through all my shoes and clothes, and along with the stuff from under the bed it was either donated to a charity shop or taken to the tip. I was pretty ruthless, you would have been proud.

Then I painted the bedside cabinets (using this Apartment Therapy guide) which took longer than I expected due to my dodgy back. But, eventually they were done and ready to go back into the bedroom, which by now was looking a lot less cluttered.

Next on the list was replacing the mattress, which was at least 8 years old - possibly even older. Silentnight very kindly offered me one of their prize-winning Classic 1200 Pocket Deluxe mattresses to try, and their Just Like Down pillows and duvet. Seriously, the duvet is so soft it's like sleeping under a cloud.

Then it was time to make the bed, and add some finishing touches.

I think my bed needs more cushions!

It's a much more pleasant room to be in, it feels much more inviting and it's lovely to be able to walk in without seeing mounds of laundry or having to think about tidying up.

It's no coincidence that I've been spending more time in there, pottering around in the evenings (I love a good old potter) and going to bed early so I can read in bed before turning off the light.

I'm already noticing a difference. I feel more rested in the mornings, my back pain has reduced significantly and the quality of sleep is improving, although it's still something I'm working on.

Do you get a decent night's sleep?

Disclosure: this is a collaboration with Silentnight, but the words, opinions and bedroom are my own.

Making it my way: Giovanni Rana butter and sage sauce

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 16:31:00 +0000

Well, it definitely feels like proper autumn now that our Indian summer is over and the chill has set in. This is the time of year when we want comfort food, and I'm always on the look out for tasty filling meals that require minimum amount of faffing, so I was happy to take up the challenge from Giovanni Rana to make three different dishes with their new Butter and Sage sauce.

As you might expect, it's perfect as a pasta sauce, but the creamy sauce has a lovely sage flavour which goes particularly well with mushrooms, and as we are still not eating meat I thought we would see how versatile it could be.

The first thing I tried was mushroom risotto. I love a risotto, it's probably my favourite TV dinner, and it's so easy to make. I know some people are put off by the amount of stirring required, but I don't mind if the result is so tasty. I'm afraid that in my haste to eat it this is the only photo I took of the risotto, and it looks a bit anaemic because it's before the pepper and cheese were added. Sorry!

I added two big spoonfuls of the Butter and Sage sauce towards the end of cooking, around the time I would normally add butter to the pan to finish off the dish. It added a lovely creamy, subtle flavour to the risotto.

Next day I decided to have an old favourite for lunch: mushrooms on toast. A variety of mushrooms gently fried for a few minutes then the butter and sage sauce added to make a creamy sauce, and poured over a big slice of toasted crusty bread. SO good, and could it be any easier?

We're eating a lot of fish at the moment, and the sauce was perfect with some smoked haddock we had the following night, I just warmed in the microwave for 30 seconds and poured it over the fish and veg. Sometimes fish dishes can be a bit dry, so this was a lovely way to enjoy it. I'd definitely have this again.

So, three different ways to use the sauce and none of them using pasta. We enjoyed all three meals, but the sauce lends itself very well to a variety of dishes, we'll definitely have it again.

Reasons to be cheerful this week #R2BC

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 12:41:00 +0000

I thought I'd join in with this week's Reasons to be Cheerful linky over on Becky's blog. I've got three reasons this week:

1. Autumn leaves

Is it just my imagine or have the autumn leaves this year been particularly colourful and vibrant? The weather has been perfect for dog walkers: bright, sunny and not too hot - and is there anything more uplifting than a long walk when autumn is in full swing? I love this season, it's so beautiful.

After months of recall training, Alice the greyhound has proved herself to be very good at responding to commands and as a result is able to spend a bit more time off-lead. Greyhounds instinctively love to run and giving her the opportunity to do it for fun, rather than for so-called sport, is lovely. This week she's been having great fun chasing squirrels (she never catches them, they always run up a tree) and running through the woods.

I've also got a great view of the park from my bedroom window. The tree with the golden leaves is actually in our garden, but the trees beyond are just over the fence in the park. I'll miss this view when we move house next year.

2. A leisurely lunch

We had the opportunity to have lunch at a restaurant which is new to us, the George and Dragon in Altrincham. We like Altrincham, it's good for shopping and Tatton Park stately home and Dunham Massey park are always good for a visit.

I asked Tall Daughter if she'd like to invite her very nice but incredibly quiet boyfriend along to have lunch with us. I thought it might be easier to ~~interrogate him~~ chat over a relaxed lunch as he always seems very shy when he comes to the house,

It's a funny business, getting to know your daughters' boyfriends because one of the things you want your children to do is to choose someone who will treat them, and as a parent you really want to like them - I mean, how awkward would it be if you didn't? Fortunately for me both of my girls have made sound choices (so far) in the boyfriend department.

The lunch was delicious, there was plenty of choice - including several vegetarian options - and the food was freshly made and very tasty. Service was very good and we were made to feel welcome, and the quiet and relaxed atmosphere made it easier to get to know TD's boyfriend a bit better. A very enjoyable lunch.

3. Time off

Last week I made a last minute decision to take this week off work. I haven't worked in a school for two years now, and I miss having the half-terms off. I don't really need them as much now as my daughters are old enough to look after themselves, but still, it's nice to occasionally plan some time off.

Of course, The Teenager is at uni so yesterday we made a little road trip to visit her. Even though she's a very confident girl and was sure she wouldn't miss being at home she admitted that she had started to feel a bit homesick recently so a well-timed visit from us was a little boost for her, plus Tall Daughter hadn't been to Sheffield before and was keen to see where her sister was living now.

If the weather is good, the drive to Sheffield includes a very pleasant route through the Peak District - what a beautiful place, the scenery is just stunning. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't great yesterday and we only saw a few glimpses of the spectacular views, hopefully Tall Daughter will see its real beauty another time. I'd love to spend some time there, maybe on a walking holiday. It's on my list!

What have you been up to this week? Have you been away this half-term, or are you spending time at home?

Loneliness doesn't happen overnight

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Wed, 28 Oct 2015 17:51:00 +0000

Did you read this recent story about 95 year old Bill Palmer?

Bill rang his local radio station to talk about his loneliness. His wife has dementia and now lives in a care home, and Bill talked with heartbreaking candour about how his everyday life is 'hell'. He took a pragmatic approach, saying:

"I listen to the radio and watch TV and have lots of friends, but unfortunately when you get old people don't visit - that's life."

It was heartbreaking to read but as you might expect and hope for, thousands of people got in touch and offered him friendship, phone calls, lunch dates and real warmth. It's always reassuring to see how the public respond to stories like this, and we've heard plenty of them before, and for a little while it restores our faith in human kindness.

We all feel lonely at some point or another, but loneliness like Bill's doesn't happen overnight. No-one goes from having a close, loving circle of friends and family to being completely alone in an instant. It's a very gradual process, taking place over many years. Friends move away, parents are no longer around, children grow up and leave home, relationships end, marriages break down, social lives dwindle. There might be some depression or anxiety involved, financial worries, or maybe a house move that results in the loss of a friendly community or neighbour, until gradually we find ourselves a little more isolated than before.

Well meaning people might say things like 'join a club' or 'take up a hobby' which is good advice on paper, but ironically loneliness can make it difficult to make those vital connections with others. Spending too much time on your own can result in losing social skills or the confidence to use them, and so it becomes a vicious circle, and lonely people - by fearing further rejection - can feed into their own isolation by keeping a distance from others. How often do we hear the phrase 'they keep themselves to themselves' about someone, when I'll bet they're lonely and crying out for company.

Nobody wants to admit to being lonely, and therein lies the rub. It takes a very brave person, like Bill, to put into words what it's like and although he got a such a wonderful response, in most instances saying 'I'm lonely' makes people feel very uncomfortable.

There's a real stigma to admitting it, because it feels like you've done something wrong. It means you haven't been able to sustain a relationship well enough, or have failed to make friends or nurture the ones you've had. Friendships are reduced to the occasional text or Christmas card, or a sincere but effortless 'happy birthday' message on your Facebook wall. Have a read of this beautifully written blog post by Mother in the Middle, if it doesn't make you want to send real, handwritten birthday cards to everyone you know, nothing will.

Loneliness isn't contagious, but it is an epidemic is in this country.

There are several national campaigns to end loneliness in the UK, which are quite rightly aimed at isolated older people, but loneliness isn't the preserve of the elderly and may be closer to home than you think.

As I said, it doesn't happen overnight and I reckon we all know someone who is already on that slippery slope, but doesn't feel brave enough admit it. Think about the people in your own life who you suspect are a bit lonely and let them know you care. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture - a simple phone call might be a good start. It could make all the difference.

***********************

The Campaign to End Loneliness

Age UK's Help End Loneliness

Silverline

How to help a lonely older person

How to cope with loneliness

Trying to get a good night's sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 26 Oct 2015 18:06:00 +0000

I've always been a good sleeper. When I was a child I used to enjoy the sensation of falling asleep, still do, and I can still fall asleep very quickly, but for the last few weeks my mind has been whirring and I'm having lots of wide-awake moments in the middle of the night (why is it always 3.30am?) and I'm not getting a full night of good quality sleep.

When I wake in the night, it's like BANG I'm wide awake and there will be a song playing on repeat in my head. Just recently it's been Queen of Peace by Florence and the Machine which, considering she has a voice like a foghorn, seems a bit ironic really.

Added to that, I've been having some back problems which is making the sleep issue even more difficult.

To try and resolve it and find some answers to why I'm sleeping badly, I'm having a bit of help from a Silentnight's sleep expert. I know, I didn't know there was such a thing either but there is.

After completing a sleep diary and questionnaire, I had my first session with Dr Nerina, a couple of weeks ago, and it wasn't quite what I was expecting. Sure, it started off as I imagined it would with questions about my quality of sleep, sleep routine, nutrition and how much caffeine I drink (too much tea apparently) and I picked up some tips on how to get a good night's sleep:

Avoid using technology at least an hour before going to bed. It can make the brain too stimulated;
Reading a book in bed will help you to relax before going to sleep;
If you have things on your mind, jot them down in a journal. Putting pen to paper can help to clear a busy mind;
cut down on caffeine from lunch time onwards. If you can't go without a cuppa try decaff for a change;
Put a few drops of lavender oil on your pillow. The scent helps to calm the mind and induce sleep;
Invest in a good quality mattress and check for signs of wear . If yours is older than 7 years it might be time to get a new one;
don't keep your phone next to your bed, it's too tempting to check it during the night;
Instead of using your phone as an alarm, buy an old-fashioned alarm clock and keep the phone downstairs, or at least away from the bedside table;
if you wake during the night, don't check the time. Instead, try a breathing technique to get back to sleep: Kundalini breathing is particularly good for a wired mind and body. Sit up straight in bed, pucker your lips as if holding a 10p coin, breathe in forcefully through the lips, exhale through the nose. Do this for one - two minutes;
Create the perfect sleep environment. Make your bedroom tranquil, calm and free from clutter, junk and technology. You should never bring your work life into the bedroom – make it a technology free zone.

Then it took an unexpected turn. She thought, from my answers and sleep diary, that I was "running on empty" and asked me, "So, who looks after you?"

I wasn't expecting that, and honestly didn't know how to respond, but I suppose it's something many parents are guilty of, and single parents are probably even worse. When there's only you doing everything it's very easy to be swept up in the busyness of life, and fall into the trap of not looking after yourself. There's always something that needs doing, or someone else to take care of, and looking after Number 1 is usually way down on the To Do List.

After establishing that my self-care is pretty minimal, Dr Nerina thought I should concentrate more on paying more attention to myself and my own needs. It's strange to hear a stranger, to all intents and purposes, say that you need to put yourself first, and consciously think about making some life changes. "It takes energy to change direction" she said. I've thought about that a lot since our session, and she's right, it does take energy (and courage) to change direction, but I suppose you also need to know which direction to take.

While I'm thinking about that, I'm going to be making a few smaller changes, and hope to see an improvement in the quality of my sleep, I'm going to be making some of the changes suggested by Dr Nerina, including decluttering and tidying my bedroom which I think will also help. I'll be writing about that later this week.

Disclosure: this is part of a collaboration with Silentnight, but words and opinions are my own.

Are you brave enough for the Home of Halloween?

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 10:06:00 +0000

Halloween is much more of a thing these days isn't it?

At the risk of showing my age, when I was little Halloween was a fun event consisting of toffee apples, apple bobbing, carving pumpkin lanterns, and telling ghost stories while someone made whoo-whoo noises in the background. Sadly, I don't think that's enough to keep today's children satisfied, they want more (fake) blood and gore and they want to be scared! Where has this thirst for horror come from I wonder?

When my girls were little they were obsessed with going Trick or Treating, which has become hugely popular over the past few years. And now, that American influence of celebrating Halloween is spreading over here and it seems to be getting bigger each year. As soon as the summer holidays are over the shops seem to be full of Halloween outfits and masks and macabre decorations. We have a local, organised Halloween walk around the village, and some of our neighbours really go to town on decorating their houses for the night. Later on there's also a Monsters' Ball, but for older children it's probably a bit tame.

For older kids and adults, going to a Halloween event is the thing these days and both of my teenagers are keen to go to one - and the scarier the better!

The Blackpool Tower Dungeon, experts in scaring the bejaysus out of willing ~~victims~~ customers, will play host to the Home of Halloween family experience this month, complete with over 800 pumpkins, a host of characters, electrifying special effects and stories.

"Join our cast of horribly hilarious characters as you embark on a journey of mischief and mayhem. Meet the Witch Finder General and mysterious witches before being accused of a terrible ‘witchy’ crime, plus take a ride on our ‘for those who dare’ drop ride for a real thrill".

Suitable for children aged eight and over, and maybe adults who don't do the scary stuff (like me!) this sounds more treat than trick.

For the more daring, there's also a spine-chilling After Dark event, strictly for over 18s, where you get to be chased around in the dark and scared witless. I was invited to go along but ~~I'm a scaredy cat~~ I politely declined.

Whatever you do this Halloween, have fun and stay safe.

Disclosure: this post was written in collaboration with the Blackpool Tower Dungeon

If I could escape

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sat, 10 Oct 2015 11:14:00 +0000

This is a bit of an unsettled time for me. I'm can't go into details here, but there are a lot of things going on in the background right now that are making me feel very unsettled and agitated, and I seem to have a head full of conflicting thoughts and ideas, constantly whirring with an ongoing internal dialogue as I try to resolve the different issues, getting nowhere fast.

It's all making me very tired and irritable, and I really really need a break from it all.

I watched Into the Wild the other night, a true story about a man who decides to leave everything behind to live in isolation in the Alaskan wilderness. It was a bit of an odd film but it really got me thinking about escaping from it all, and daydreaming about selling up, buying a camper van and driving off into the sunset.

Many years ago I talked about doing that very thing: I decided that when I retired, I would buy a motor home and spend a couple of years travelling around the UK visiting all of the places I'd always wanted to see. And in all honesty, right now, that dream has been reawakened.

This feeling of being unsettled isn't new, I've talked a lot recently about moving away and making a new start and maybe this is all part of that. It's probably no coincidence that my new favourite blog is Us In a Bus, about a family of six who live in a bus and have spent the last two years touring New Zealand. Seriously, I don't know how they do it but they have four boys under the age of 10 and still manage to make it work. Truly inspirational stuff, I'm so envious.

So surely it's got to be easy for a lone woman and her dog to do it? I've already had a word with Alice, and she's up for it.

We all have dreams of doing something crazy (or is it just me?) but this one is seriously taking up a lot of my thinking time right now. But, but... of course there is planning involved, and boring financial details, and even the practicalities of can I actually do it.

I've already got a sketchy idea of how to afford it (sell house, invest in small flat to come back to when life on the road loses its appeal, rent the flat off in the meantime and live off the rental payments). Maybe it's just a dream, but I'd love to give it a go if even for a short while.

Of course at the moment I still have responsibilities here, including the small detail of a teenage daughter who wants to stay put so she can start college next year. So I have some time before I could even consider doing it, but that's planning time, right? Turning this crazy plan into reality? Or realising that I really am completely mad and haven't got a hope in hell of surviving more than a week on the road.

I don't know, maybe I am mad for thinking it could work, but in the meantime I'm enjoying daydreaming about it and plotting my escape.

Do you think I'm crazy or do you fancy it too? Where would you escape to?

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Fri, 02 Oct 2015 15:33:00 +0000

SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease;
For Summer has o'erbrimm'd their clammy cells.

~ Ode to Autumn, John Keats

I love autumn, and love it even more when there's an Indian summer. I can't believe we're already in October and the weather is so warm.

I've been out and about with Alice this week, trying to capture a bit of autumn colour and we've had some stunning sunsets, bright sunshine and misty mornings, a real mixture. I love the light in autumn, and the long shadows caused by the sun being so low in the sky. I wonder if the blood moon (which I slept through!) had anything to do with the amazing sunsets that followed?

Of course autumn means Strictly Come Dancing is back on the telly, which is good enough for me, I love a bit of Saturday evening light-entertainment. I've never understood the snobbery about it, if it's done well then why not enjoy it?

One of my earliest memories is watching Come Dancing at my grandparent's. Come Dancing was the precursor to Strictly and was very popular in the 60s and 70s and whenever I went to stay with Nan and Granddad it was always a treat to stay up late to watch it. Happy memories.

Are you planning anything this weekend? Tall Daughter has asked if we can go for a walk on a beach somewhere, so that's a definite plan, and I think it's soup-making season again. You can't beat homemade soup with crusty bread. Have you seen the trailer for the The Intern? I like Nancy Meyers' films so that's on my weekend list too.

Whatever you're doing this weekend, hope it's a good one.

Recipe ~ Chickpea and vegetable curry

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 18:45:00 +0000

I'm really pleased with this recipe. It's the result of trying a couple of different curries and mixing different elements to find one that suited us.

I've used cauliflower and spinach this time, but you could add pretty much any vegetable to it. I'm going to try sweet potato and broccoli next time, but I'm sure it would be equally good with green beans, potatoes, carrots or parsnips.

We don't eat very spicy curries, so this one is aromatic rather than hot - although you can increase the spice content if you fancy a bit more heat - and because we're still on our 6-week vegetarian trial (week 5 and we're still doing ok) it had to be meat-free. Plus, it's packed with goodness and it tastes great too!

Ingredients

2 tbsp sunflower oil

1 large onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp ground ginger (or grated fresh ginger)

1 tsp garam masala

1 tsp ground coriander

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground turmeric

1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1 can coconut milk
1 tin chopped tomatoes

1 medium head cauliflower, broken into small florets

200g of fresh spinach, rinsed or 3-4 nuggets of frozen spinach

Salt and pepper to taste

Cooked rice or naan for serving

Heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat. Add the onion for 5 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for another couple of minutes. Stir in all the spices and cook until they're fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the chickpeas, tomatoes and their juice, coconut milk and cauliflower. Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes. Uncover and cook 5 minutes more, it should be smelling good by now and the sauce will have slightly thickened. Add the spinach and cook for a further 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve with boiled rice and/or naan bread. Delicious and very filling.

A quiet weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 27 Sep 2015 21:07:00 +0000

We've spent this week readjusting to life without The Teenager.

She has been enjoying Freshers' Week and has got to know her flatmates and those in the flat next door. Both lots of flat mates have already become firm friends, and today she sent me photos of the huge roast dinner they cooked together, enough to feed all ten of them. It's reassuring to know that she's happy, and that her flatmates are so friendly and they've all gelled so well.

This week she starts university 'proper' as the lectures and studying begins in earnest.

In the meantime, we've been finding life has been a bit odd without her, mainly because it's quieter and the house is tidier. Much tidier. There are no more late-night drives in my pyjamas to pick her up after her shifts at McDonalds, and the amount of laundry and dish washing has more than halved. I miss her.

On Saturday I managed to persuade Tall Daughter to visit a local vintage car event, although there were plenty of other things to do and see. There was an old-fashioned charm to it all. We've been in previous years, but I enjoyed it more this year.

I loved Mr Alexander's Travelling Show. Mr Alexander was an older gentleman who said very little but held his audience of small children captivated with his variety show skills: juggling, sleight of hand magic tricks, unicycling and puppetry, while all the time a crackly gramophone played old-time music in the background. Lovely.

Apart from that, it was a quiet weekend, although I'm sure it's not just me who seems to cram as many tasks into Sunday evening as possible. Why do we do that?

Did you have a good weekend?

The one where The Teenager goes to university

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 16:48:00 +0000

Yesterday The Teenager made the big move to start university. The build up to uni had been going on for months, and once we knew she was going to Sheffield it stepped up a notch. There were lots of things to buy, paperwork to complete, and things to organise and it went by pretty quickly. Her last week at home was spent saying goodbye to family and friends, packing and tidying her bedroom.

The Teenager has a lot of stuff. To say the car was packed is a bit of an understatement. It was so full we couldn't have possibly got anything else into it, and still be able to drive safely, and now, after seeing how much stuff the other students had taken, I'm convinced she took more than anyone else.

Some of that might be my fault, panicking over what she might need when she's there and I may have gone a little bit over the top with some of the items she ended up taking. Pizza cutter, check. Garlic press, check. First aid kit, erm, check. Yes, I had a last minute panic and bought one just in case, even though "nobody takes first aid kits to uni" apparently. But at least when she falls over drunk during freshers' week (and it will happen) she'll have plasters. I'm sure she'll thank me...

There is a first aid kit in there somewhere...

A couple of tips if you're preparing to move your teenager to uni: don't get back pain, and don't do what we did and go for a curry the night before. Either one of those things is going to make the big move a little bit trickier. Not being able to lift anything heavier than a cushion (as per my GP's instruction) and having a very delicate stomach (details spared for the squeamish) is really not helpful when you have such a busy and hectic day ahead.

So, yesterday we left home just before 9am for the very scenic drive across beautiful Derbyshire and the Pennines, arriving in Sheffield just as the traffic going into the city started to get crazily busy with all the incoming students and their families. We were very lucky to find a car park space in the grounds of the student halls, and even luckier to get assistance from two absolutely lovely helpers who helped us move everything to her room.

After unpacking the essentials, making the bed and having a bite to eat I realised it was time for me to go. I didn't want to be the parent who stays too long, and I knew she was keen to get chatting to her new flatmates, so I bit the bullet and made my moves to leave. Considering I'd been blubbing like a baby the day before I think I was reasonably restrained when we said goodbye. In the run up to the big day, she'd said that she didn't want me to be upset so I was trying really hard to keep a handle on my emotions.

I had a couple of near misses; once when she asked me how I was feeling and I said "OK! IT'S EXCITING!!" a bit too quickly and sounded like a loon, and again when I made the mistake of reading some messages from friends. The dam nearly broke then, but I managed to keep it together. In the end, even although we were both a bit teary-eyed, it wasn't too bad. There may have been a bit of a mumbled goodbye, and one too many hugs, but we made it. Phew, deep breaths, deep breaths...

In her room at the student halls

But as I walked back to the car I happened to glance up to her room and she was standing at the window waving at me. That was it, the dam burst and the tears came, great shuddering sobs of them, but at least at that point I was on my way to the car and she was spared the ugly crying face.

It was the strangest feeling driving home without her, leaving her in a strange city where she doesn't know a soul, and hoping she'd be okay. It went against all of my protective mum instincts, but I suppose our job as parents is to get them safely to this stage and hope they're prepared, and ready, to take the next steps on their own. I think I've done a good job, at least I hope I've done a good job and that she's ready for this new chapter in her life.

I'm sure she'll be okay, she's a very independent girl, very outgoing and she can't wait to get started. I can't wait to hear all about her new life, her new friends and how she gets on at uni. Hopefully, after all the freshers' week activities and socialising she might do a bit of studying, or is that too optimistic?

Not only is it an exciting time for her, but it also means a new chapter for the rest of us. The next few weeks should be interesting as we adapt to the changes at home. Her sister is less than impressed that I've promised her my undivided attention (she took it as a threat rather than a good thing...) and I think the dog is already pining for her. Wish us luck, I think we going to need it.

Have you waved a child off to university? How did it go? Any tips for coping with the next few weeks?

The best things in life aren't things

noreply@blogger.com (Jean) — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 09:30:00 +0000

It was the tea towels that did it.

I went to TKMaxx to browse, which is basically a euphemism for 'spend money I don't have on things I don't need'. I justify buying stuff in there because it's always a bargain, but surely it's only a bargain if it's something you need and at a cheaper price than usual?

So, I spent £6.99 on three new tea-towels. We don't need more tea-towels, a quick check in a kitchen drawer tells me that we already have over twenty, so I have no idea why I bought them. But it got me thinking about why I am constantly buying more and more possessions when, really, there's very little I actually need.

On one hand I'm accumulating more things, and on the other hand I'm doing lots of reading about decluttering and minimalism. I even bought a book about decluttering which I promptly lost; I eventually found it buried under a pile of paperwork on my desk. The irony isn't lost on me.

Last week I wrote about buying some pottery and books because they were such a bargain. This week I went back to the same shop and bought another jug that was too good not to buy. I didn't actually need any of these things, and that's what I'm struggling with. What am I doing buying so many unnecessary things?

When we moved into this house almost 4 years ago we seemed to have acres of space. It was, it is, the biggest house we've ever lived in yet since then ~~we've~~ I've managed to fill it with....stuff. Our belongings have expanded to fill the space, and in fact some rooms are over-crowded. For some reason I'm stockpiling paintings, mirrors, cushions, multiple sets of bedding (at the last count we had at least 14 sets of bedding for just 4 beds), pottery, books, blankets, cushions, empty picture frames, and more cushions. Mostly piled in corners and taking up space because I don't know what to do with them, and giving me a constant, nagging feeling at the back of my mind. I know need to do something about them, but never do and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all to be honest.

The thing is, I'm on a bit of a countdown, because in just over a year I'll be looking to move to a (much smaller) house so the need to declutter is very real. I've made some attempts to declutter recently but didn't get very far, mainly because I started in the wrong room, the study, which is a dumping ground for everything that doesn't have a home. I need to start in the other rooms first, so I'm going to tackle my bedroom first.

I should add that I don't want to live in an empty, sterile house with little or no belongings - I just want to simplify what we already have and stop buying more and more of the same things.

Apartment Therapy photo via Pinterest

It's going to be a real challenge, but it's got to be done. One thing's for sure: no more tea towels.

What about you, where do you stand on buying and keeping clutter?

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These are the blogs I'm currently reading for inspiration:

Apartment Therapy has plenty of articles about small space living and minimalist design.

Just a little less written by Claire who documents her 'journey to a simpler life'.

Becoming Mimimalist tons of information and inspirational posts about minimalism here.

London Minimalists written by husband and wife, Frank and Michelle, who write very honestly about their need to declutter and live more simply.

The Minimalists a bit more hard core, but their post Someday struck a nerve with me.