It’s easy to think that politics can exist outside of our interest and awareness, that it’s the thing over there that lives only when we turn on the news. But the personal and political and inextricably linked. Women’s bodies, our choices, rights, and ability to care for them, are subject to the decisions made hundreds or thousands of miles away in Washington. Scary, huh?

That’s why it’s so crucially important to understand where the candidates stand on issues that matter, or should matter, to us. We have an opportunity now to make our voices heard, and for women to use their collective power to ensure that our interests are being addressed.

Here are some of the top issues that concern women today, and where some of the candidates stand:

[Please note that this is not my attempt to sway anyone in any particular political direction. While my biases are, I’m quite sure, evident, I hope that you will use this information as a starting point for looking deeper into the issues, the candidates, and your own values.]

Reproductive Issues

Contrary to popular belief, reproductive issues do not focus solely on the whether a woman should be legally allowed to have an abortion, which all of the GOP candidates uniformly oppose. While all of the candidates are against giving women the right to choose in all cases, some, like Mitt Romney, would grant women this right in the case of incest, rape, or severe risk to the mother’s life. Others, like Ron Paul, an obstetrician for thirty years, believe that abortion is murder in all cases and has no place in our society.

Apart from abortion, the politicians are also heavy-hitters when it comes to decisions about whether insurance plans cover birth control (which Ron Paul opposes), whether contraception should be discussed in schools (which Rick Santorum opposes), and whether pharmacists should be able to dispense emergency contraception to rape victims (which Mitt Romney opposes). As senator, Santorum voted for measures to financially penalize low-income women for having children and penalize states for children born out of wedlock. Further, the issues of reproduction come up when talking about fertility concerns as well. Newt Gingrich recently stated that he wants to more closely investigate and impose rules on clinics where in-vitro fertilization occurs, seemingly ignoring the fact that these facilities are closely monitored and regulated by state government and various health organizations.

Relationships

The right of individuals to love whom the wish is not a uniquely female issue, but it’s one that certainly touches women deeply. Despite the 2011 Gallup poll that reported 53% of Americans support the legalization of gay marriage, all of the current GOP candidates oppose this and want to narrow the definition of marriage. Some of the candidates, such as Romney, support domestic partnerships for gay couples, but do not support marriage or even civil unions, stating that marriage should be preserved for a union between a man and a woman. Santorum recently stated that even a father who “is in jail and has abandoned” his family is better at raising a child than two gay parents. Gingrich believes this is an issue of “dignity” and also supports marriage being a one man, one woman event.

Relatedly, some of the candidates believe that sexual identity should be a factor in military service, an issue that is particularly relevant to women, in fact. While female service members make up about one in five troops, they make up  almost half of those discharged for their sexual orientation. Romney is against the idea of letting gays and lesbians serve actively in the U.S. Military. And when an openly gay soldier was recently booed at a debate, none of the candidates stood up for the man in uniform.

Further, the idea of fidelity in relationships is an issue that is close to many women’s hearts. While we can never know the intimate details of the candidate’s romantic lives, we do have on record Gingrich’s multiple acts of infidelity during multiple marriages, which he openly acknowledges as mistakes. Some voters, however, feel that these acts indicate a lack of ability to make sound, ethical, and non-impulsive decisions and to respect an institution (marriage) that he proclaims to hold with such, well, dignity.

Jobs & Health Coverage

While the economic recession has hit us all hard, it’s actually hit women a little less hard, in some ways. Women are, in fact, 50 percent more likely to be employed than men, today. There are many women, however, who are working part-time because they cannot find full-time employment. The current GOP candidates are all opposed to stimulus money, though they do support certain big corporate tax breaks. That’s interesting, as almost 100 percent of new (net) jobs created in this country are by small business. Part of Santorum’s solution to fix the economy is to drill for more oil. Okay. If you think that joining the military might be the answer to your financial woes, think again if you’re a woman. Santorum stated that he believes with women in combat, emotions could get in the way. Yes, you read that right.

With the cutbacks in jobs has come the loss of employer-provided health insurance for many Americans. Many women and families cannot afford COBRA or their company has stopped providing coverage because they can’t afford it either. In fact, working women are much less likely to have health benefits than working men, and they are more likely to be working for minimum wage (on which it’s nearly impossible to buy adequate health insurance).  As the surrogate doctors in most American homes, many women are faced with excruciating decisions when it comes to the health of themselves and their families. The GOP candidates all oppose Obama’s health care plan and want to cut both state and federal funds for Medicaid (of which poor women and children are the major recipients).

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This is certainly not an exhaustive list of issues. Other important ones to consider are things like the candidate’s take on education, social security, and immigration, issues that also tend disproportionately impact women. If you care about women – yourself, your mother, sister, daughter, or friends — educate yourself before going to the polls. This year, the personal is absolutely political.

Note: Lest you think that I believe President Obama does everything right, read this.

What is your take on the GOP candidates positions on these issues? Totally disagree with me? Tell us about it!

{image credit :: bdcoen}

Newark, NJ Mayor Cory Booker recently posted this piece on his facebook page, and it struck me as so beautiful…

You were not born to be average, normal or typical.
You were not born a carbon copy.
You were born unique, born to excel, born to manifest the glory of the universe in your authentic truth.
You are not weak.
You are stronger than you imagine, wiser than you know, and have vast powers that you have yet to actualize.
Stop playing small.
Be YOU. Tell your truth – now, today, this very moment.
Manifest your true self – not a poor reflection of your circumstance.
Don’t walk through this world unconscious of your greatness, sleep walking, surrendering your light to the bland grey around you.
You were born to be brilliant,
to be light,
to be fire.
Infuse your glory into this moment, into your choices, into your deeds, into the habits you create.
Consciously choose.
Choose your body through conscious consumption,
Choose your attitude, through conscious thought
Choose your destiny by being present right now – for remember mindful moments multiplied, totally transform tomorrows
Today choose integrity, choose discipline, choose joy, choose joy, choose joy.
Rejoice in your blessings AND, most importantly, know that EVERYTHING is a blessing.
And your blessings are rich soil.
So choose to grow into the boldest, proudest, most glorious version of YOU.
You were born for this.

{on bloglovin, via pinterest}

I’m beyond honored to get to share this guest post by Mara Glatzel, as she is the queen of self-love in my eyes. Without further ado…

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We’ve all seen the movies or TV shows – there she sits, all alone, without a date for Valentine’s Day, wallowing in a nest of chocolates and chick flicks, while her mascara runs all over her face as she cries.

Because she’s sad, right? Of course.

Because it’s Valentine’s Day and it is crucial to have a super romantic lovefest on Valentine’s Day.

Now, I love Valentine’s Day. I love an opportunity to skip around and hand out love letters. I love the permission to wear both pink and red, at the same time. However, the dark underbelly of such a holiday is the correlation between romantic love and happiness, as if you are only whole if you’ve got someone to love you. This is not going to be that kind of Valentine’s Day post.

This is the kind of post where we talk about you crazy awesome you are and all of the wonderful things that you can do today to celebrate your awesomeness. This is a call to action kind of blog post, designed to make you feel like jumping up out of your chair and running to do something that makes YOU feel loved and cared for.

Activities to Improve Feelings of Self-Love

1. Random act of kindness: Make a valentine, cover it in glitter, and magazine clippings. Collage to your hearts content. Make ten valentines if you are so inclined, and spend the rest of the day handing them out to strangers, putting them under windshields, and giving them them to the person bagging your groceries.

2. Treat yourself to a deluxe spa day, or whip up a DIY face mask out of stuff in your cabinets. Take a bath, luxuriate in the shower for an extra ten minutes, give yourself a mani/pedi, or buy yourself the brand new moisturizer that you’ve been pining after that smells like roses. The crucial aspect of this activity is carving out time in your day to treat yourself to something special, and to focus on not feeling remotely guilty about putting your phone on silent and spending time on YOU.

3. Move your body. I know that it’s February, and that for many of us that means it’s too cold to run around outside all afternoon. However, making an effort to get your blood pumping and endorphins circulating can make you feel all sparkly and new, despite the cold weather. Take it as an opportunity to go to that new yoga class, or try out something new, like Nia, which can be a great way to sweat a little and get comfortable in your skin.

4. Tell someone that you love them, without expecting anything in return. Give a present, without wanting to get one back. Do something kind for someone else, just for the sake of how it feels in YOUR heart to do it. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Call up your best friend and leave them a this is why you’re amazing and thank you so much for everything voicemail.  Write your favorite blogger/writer/artist a fan email. Thank your teacher profusely for how much they’ve taught you. Do it because of how it makes you feel.

The important element in all of these activities is the the emphasis on self-care and putting yourself first. Now, you might say, it makes me feel awesome to sit on my couch and eat chocolate while watching Bridget Jones Diary, which, well, is hard to argue with. However, I challenge you to think about how you feel during the activities that you do today – do you feel energized? excited? enthusiastic? Do you feel like you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to? Does it make you feel like you are worth loving? Does it make you feel happy to be in the skin that you’re in?

Because that’s the feeling that we’re shooting for today, and you are oh so worth it.

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Mara Glatzel is the highly caffeinated maven behind the body image + authentic living blog, Medicinal Marzipan. If you enjoyed this post, catch up with her (almost) daily body-loving antics and general rabble-rousing on facebook, twitter, or shoot her an email at medicinalmarzipan {at} gmail {dot} com.

See, I was 35 years old when I finally got that B+’s are a good grade.

I always did very well in school, except that along with a whole lot of A’s and A-’s, I also brought home a number of B+’s. And they — I’m not going to name names here, let me just say they were a couple of the older people who lived at the house with my brothers and me, when we were young — would look at my report cards and say, “Honey, we don’t mean this as a criticism, but if you could get a B+, how much harder would it have been to get an A-?”

And I never once looked back at them and thought, Jeez, What a crock. I always scratched my head and thought, Yeah yeah, that’s right, that’s right.

So I tried to do better. I tried very hard and I did very well and everyone loved me because I was addicted to people-pleasing, and I tried even harder and graduated from high school and got some fabulous award at graduation for my black belt co-dependence; and then I wrote all these books and mostly they did really well, except for this one that got something like 35 straight bad reviews, which is sort of exhilarating in its own way. But in general, I did very well, and all these people loved me, and well, okay, maybe there was this tiny tiny problem with drugs and alcohol along the way — hardly worth mentioning. Except to say that even with all this success, it was only after I’d slammed down a dozen or so social drinks that I’d start to feel like I was doing well enough. That I was good enough. That I was — way deep down — okay.

Because the thing is, no one remembered to tell me that I wasn’t going to be able to do well enough. They somehow forgot to tell me that it — the fullness, the feelings I was longing for — wasn’t out there.

I mean, please, look at me, I’m Exhibit A. I’m semi-famous. I own a Jeep. I have airbags. And I still can’t get that stuff to work. It’s not enough. It keeps wearing off. And if I owned a Lamborghini and made more money than God or Terry McMillan, it still wouldn’t be enough. I just hate that.

We’re all yearning for something, for connection and meaning and peace of mind and a sense that life sort of makes sense and that love is real and powerful and that we are good people. And it’s not out there. Or at any rate, there are only little hits of it out there. And those little hits wear off, and then you need a bigger hit.

Go read the entire speech here.

Do you think a B+ is good enough?

{image credit :: spcbrass}

Most of us have had them – those moments when we’re absolutely, positively convinced that this wrenching pain inside our souls has just got to be the biggest the world has ever seen. We think that if the if the rest of the world had to suffer this much, well… we’re pretty certain that civilization couldn’t possibly have developed as it did. We ache and we hurt and we may even feel angry that no one can know this pain inside our hearts.

And then we get back the Mr. Potato Head and feel better, right? Kidding!

In some ways, this sense that our pain is distinctive does mirror a childlike sense of uniqueness. As very young children, we see our environment as an extension of ourselves. Essentially, the world revolves around us (and it sort of does – have you seen how many toddlers own iPads?) and it takes a while to develop an awareness of other people and the fact that they experience emotions. (You mean kicking daddy in the shin hurts him?)

Now, I’m not saying we’re all a bunch of overgrown toddlers with no awareness of one another. In fact, many of us have too much awareness of one another! But our experience of our own pain can sometimes reflect that sense that no one can possibly know how this feels. And as a grown-up in the world, that’s a pretty lonely place to be.

When we perceive that our pain is somehow greater than the next guys – our day at work was harder, our mother’s cancer is in a farther stage of progression, our break-up was on Facebook and not just through text – we suddenly are gearing up for the Pain Olympics. It’s an elite event in which only the most victimized survive.

Sports featured in this daily occasion are Career, Health, Finances, Relationships, Family, and everyone’s favorite, The Universe Just Totally Screwed Me. Players battle it over out such important issues as whose trip to the dentist was more painful and who has to spend more time with creepy Uncle Sal at Thanksgiving.

The problem with the Pain Olympics is that no one ever seems to win. The battles rage on as we become more and more defeated trying to defend just how hard we have it. Our strength, the limited amount we have considering the crap we’re dealing with, slowly diminishes. And eventually, everyone seems to forfeit.

Thinking our pain is worse than others isn’t inherently bad. Heck, for all we know, it is worse! But what happens when we attach so firmly to that belief is that we find ourselves alone on an island of our pain. We’ve alienated anyone that might be able to relate – to whatever degree that might be possible – and we’ve adopted the victim role. And the victim never wins.

So how do you win the Pain Olympics? You throw down your sword and armor and you get out of the fight. That doesn’t mean defeat and it doesn’t even mean letting go of the belief that you have it worse off. It simply means dropping the battle and allowing others to help ease your pain rather than challenging it. It takes courage. And it definitely deserves a medal.

Do you ever feel like you have to defend your pain? 

Health officials are now calling the illnesses with which the young women are presenting conversion disorders. Conversion disorders are psychiatric illnesses in which a person experiences physical symptoms without a physical cause. People with conversion disorder can demonstrate things like blindness, lack of muscle function, paralysis, or seizures.

Parents are reportedly not satisfied with this explanation for their daughters’ and community members’ illnesses. Indeed, watching video of the young women unable to talk, write, or function normally is disturbing, and it’s easy to see how the Le Roy High School community would be frustrated.

As I watched the Today Show’s interview with a few of the young women and their mother’s, you could see the visible vehemence when Dr. Nancy Snyderman suggested that the root of these issues could be psychological. The parents and teenagers quickly denied that this was possible, their justification that they weren’t under any stress and that their symptoms were real.

The thing is, the symptoms in a conversion disorder are real too. The person truly is experiencing tics, or muscle weakness, or difficulty walking. They really do seize – anyone can watch. These individuals are not making up their symptoms (that happens when someone malingers), and their development is not in the person’s conscious awareness.

This last piece is the rub, of course. If it’s not under conscious control, the person isn’t aware that there’s a psychological cause, and so there’s no way for them to deny or disprove it. Patients sometimes say things like, “But I just know something’s really wrong. I just know!” And the thing is, they’re right. There’s something wrong, really wrong. The only difference between the symptoms of conversion disorder and the symptoms of a physical illness is in the treatment. Conversion disorder symptoms are not going to respond, at least not long term, without psychological help.

I admittedly have no idea about the origin of the symptoms among these New York teenagers, and I would never purport to know. But what I am very aware of is the cultural backlash against the idea that our minds can produce physical symptoms.

It’s actually a bit dismaying to see how negatively people react to this idea, and how vehemently they deny it. I want to ask these individuals where they think all physical issues originate – in our brains! Why is it so unimaginable to think that psychological stress could create physical symptoms?

Our brains regulate our hormones and every function of our body, and yet we tend to see our minds as distinct from our bodies. The effects of this disconnect are far-reaching. I think that this contributes to everything from fertility issues to the flu to problems with our sexuality to distorted relationships with food. This is not to say that that all of these things have only psychological bases – certainly, that’s not the case. But we often fail to see how our psychological functioning influences these processes, and in doing so miss out on a real chance of improving our health.

My hope is that, regardless of what is determined to be the cause of these Tourette’s sydrome symptoms in New York, the parents will encourage their children to seek psychological treatment. Even if the cause is environmental, these young women could likely benefit from support around the trauma of the past several months.

you might be as outraged as the community.

{image credit :: margot wood}

But the truth is that kindness, not hatred, is the answer. The shape of your body obeys the shape of your beliefs about love, value, and possibility. To change your body, you must first understand that which is shaping it. Not fight it. Not force it. Not deprive it. Not shame it. Not do anything but accept and—yes, Virginia—understand it. Because if you force and deprive and shame yourself into being thin, you end up a deprived, shamed, fearful person who will also be thin for ten minutes. When you abuse yourself (by taunting or threatening yourself), you become a bruised human being no matter how much you weigh. When you demonize yourself, when you pit one part of you against another—your ironclad will against your bottomless hunger—you end up feeling split and crazed and afraid that the part you locked away will, when you are least prepared, take over and ruin your life. Losing weight on any program in which you tell yourself that left to your real impulses you would devour the universe is like building a skyscraper on sand: Without a foundation, the new structure collapses.

From Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth (2010)

Read more here.

I seriously both laughed out loud and got a bit teary reading this letter from author, Joshilyn Jackson to a stranger she saw at her yoga class. In a voice that is raw, honest, and hilarious, Jackson highlights what it means to take care of your body – even when you want to rage at it.

Here’s a short excerpt –

Dear Fat Girl I Saw at Hot Yoga in New York City,

Is it wrong that I am half in love with you? For being fat and at Hot Yoga? For shaving your legs and getting a GOOD pedicure and putting your big ol’ ass into yoga pants ? For unrolling your mat and claiming your space, a rounded duck standing defiantly on one squatty leg among flamingos…

Fat Girl, I saw you in New York, and I thought, GOOD FOR YOU. You are trying to find a way to be stronger, to live in yourself, to like your body enough to give it that seventy-five minutes of movement and acceptance. To just take care of the damn thing, even if you ARE mad at it. To treat it like an exasperating, ugly, ill-tempered little child—one you secretly adore…

Go read more here now!

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And for another kick-ass resource for yogis that don’t fit the stereotype, check out Anna Guest-Jelly’s Curvy Yoga. Love!

The lovely Sui, of Cynosure fame, asked me recently about what I do to show myself kindness. [It’s for a really cool project she’s working on, so stay tuned!] It really got me thinking about self-care and how it’s so much more complicated than manicures and getting a good night’s sleep.

As I told Sui, I tend to be pretty conservative when it comes to trying new things. I’ve talked about that before. So in order to widen my scope of life and not live in a tiny bubble, I have to push myself at times to step – or leap – outside my comfort zone. A good example of this was when I tried yoga for the first time. While I’d been curious about the practice for ages, my fear of falling over and making a fool of myself ruled the roost for a long time. When I finally got up the nerve to give it a go, I feel in love with the practice. It’s now regularly part of my self-care routine.

But one thing I’ve learned is that when I pack my schedule full of “self-care” activities – when I try to jam in eleven supposedly relaxing activities into one day – I find myself totally burnt out. And when I stop listening to my body, I feel drained and depleted.

It usually starts out subtly. I notice a nagging that feels like a pulling inside my chest. When I start to listen a little more closely I notice that my mind is keeping pace – it’s starting to whisper that I really don’t feel like practicing Spanish tonight. The voice usually gets louder until I have to pay attention to it – and I have to make a decision. At that point I notice that there might be one part of my brain that tries to convince me that my lack of interest is related to me being a.) lazy b.) a wimp c.) dull. I’ve found that I have to just notice these thoughts and not allow myself to attach to them. [Minds do funny things!]

I have to go back to the feeling – usually in my body – and try to evaluate what’s really going on. Maybe I’m just tired after a long day and I don’t have the mental energy for Spanish tonight. Maybe my body is trying to gently tell me that I really don’t even care about learning Spanish. Or maybe it’s telling me that it’s just not the right time in my life to be committing to this particular endeavor. Whatever it is, giving myself space to look a little more deeply, with curiosity instead of judgment, allows for some powerful revelations.

Sometimes I end up studying the Spanish, or going to yoga, or meeting friends for brunch. But other times I stay home in bed and stream Netflix. ¿Comprende?

Are you able to be gentle with yourself with self-care? What kinds of things do you enjoy to nourish your soul?