Nous sommes les Shockers / We are the Shockers

Shockers Season is Done

2010-08-09T16:44:00.002-04:00

This marks the end of another Shockers' season which ends up being one of the most disappointing ones yet as the Shockers failed to make the playoffs for the first time in team history.

The Shockers will be left along way side as the playoffs kick off shortly.

There has be no word from team management that there will be another version of the Shockers for the fall season.

Brown Rocket Has Been Grounded

2010-07-22T16:30:00.002-04:00

The Shockers were riding a high from their convincing 7-1 victory this past Tuesday until they received word from team doctors earlier today that Jeff "The Brown Rocket" Jasmin will most likely be missing the rest of the season with what could be as worse as a career-ending knee injury.

"They said it looks broken as fuck, I don't know what to do with myself," Jasmin slurred in a drunken rage.

Since Jasmin learned about the injury he has been hitting the bottle hard than former Shocker Greg Emmanuel in his first season with the team (reference stories of vomiting and extremely clubbing and question acts of gay sex).

"It is unfortunate for us. Jeff is a hard worker and his team spirit will be missed out on the surface," commented captain, Danny Balenzano.

Jasmin ends his season with no points in five games.

Shockers Sink Below 500 Hockey

2010-07-01T12:29:00.002-04:00

Probably one of the better looking rosters on paper in recent history for the Shockers is struggling to stay afloat in the standings and as the season progresses they are looking more and more banged up. In the passed 3 games they have accrued 3 losses and have showed up with two lines or less and now are dealing with an injury list that is accumulating some big names which is getting the organization worried.

For one, defensive backbone Gary McDermott is playing at 50% due to a knee injury he suffer in a friendly game last Monday and has been toughing through the games with a brace on. Then the big news hit home when Francois Boucher announced that he is most likely out for the season due to season-ending surgery he underwent last week.

"When he told us that he may not be coming back for the season, that really hurt since our line was doing pretty well with him," commented captain Danny Balenzano.

The Shockers are shopping around in the prospect pool but have not confirmed when they have settled on a candidate to replace Boucher.

"We're evaluating our options and hopefully we'll have someone in the line-up soon," added Balenzano.

The Shockers will have to regroup over this next week as they have the week off to recoop. Next game is against the third placed Hornets at 9:30pm @ Martin Brodeur arena where the Shockers will look to turn the tables on their recent skid of losses.

Putting a Stripe Down the Back of Les A's

2010-06-02T11:05:00.005-04:00

Final Score
Shockers 3
Les A's 2

After losing the season opener by a mere score of 2-0 against a team that went all the way to the finals during the winter season, the Shockers looked to turn things around for game 2 of the summer season.

Shockers, without the big freight train Jeff Jasmin, had to find a solution to their lack of production from game one and fill in a significant void in the backfield. However, making his season debut was Ben Ducharme as he missed the first game for person affairs.

The ball dropped to start the game and the Shockers found the scoring touch early in the game when Tom Derisseau lit the lamp with a howitzer that beat the opposing goaltender roof-daddy, over the shoulder. Soon after, Danny Ballanzano rifled one passed the A's netminder to go up 2-0, his first of the season.

Les A's battled back and popped one past Giancarlo Capaz on the powerplay to come within one, but the Shockers replied with Frank Derisseau chucking the ball past the masked mass of goalie equipment.

But Les A's, not to be outdone, clicked together and chipped another one home to bring the game back to within one.

The Shockers who were running into some penalty trouble kept playing with more fire when Carlo Varano, as the last man back, got pick-pocketed and Les A's forward went on a break away. Ballanzano, luckily, hopped on his horse and managed to short-side the forward and Capaz made the all-important save to conserve the lead.

The Shockers walked away fairly lucky with that win as they were unable to measure up to Les A's last summer, but Francois Hamelin explains what was the difference maker is this time around: "We're a new team and we have a full roster who WANT to play hockey and are not just here to look good in our new shirts. We've got new faces and the new blood in the team in a big refresher."

Speaking of blood, the Shockers got a scare at the end of the third period when a slight skirmish on the surface resulted in Gab Maltais getting high-sticked to the mug; there was no call on the matter despite Maltais bleeding from above the right eye. He is not expected to miss any games due to that injury.

Shockers Shutout in Season Opener

2010-05-30T19:05:00.001-04:00

Final Score
Hellas 2
Shockers 0

There was no shame in the Shockers performance this past Tuesday for their season opener despite the 2-0 loss. The Shockers were not out-worked or out-played they were simply out-scored by their opponent who took advantage of two errors when the Shockers failed to play man-to-man coverage.

"We got sucked into the ball. If all of our players run to theball, there are going to be open men in front of the net," commented Andrew Stevens.

Giancarlo Capaz sparkled making all of but two necessary saves. On the other side of the rink, Hellas goaltender made it look easy by using his gigantic size to his advantage. "We made him look good. We shot right into his chest," explained captain, Danny Ballanzano.

Even though the Shockers' big guns were silenced, the chances were certainly there however, the handful of worthy opportunities were shutdown by the Hellas goaltender. "C'etait notre premier match ensemble, ca va venir, j'ai confiance dans les boys," elaborated newcomer, Gab Maltais.

The Shockers have a chance to redeem themselves tonight at Bill Durnam Arena at 8:30pm. The Shockers will be without the energetic Jeff Jasmin.

"This is Make it or Break it"

2010-05-21T12:16:00.002-04:00

So what have the Shockers been up to since being ejected from the playoffs early once again?

"Rebuilding, rebuilding, rebuilding," explained GM, Francois Hamelin.

The Shockers' sad and short-lived stint in the playoffs was not only a kick in the pants for the club but a rude wake-up call for Hamelin that the patching-the-hole style of building the Shockers team every season is not cutting it after 4 or more failed attempts at advancing to the second round of the playoffs.

No one should be ready to lynch and burn Hamelin at the stake just yet. Since he has taken over the rebuilding process, the hockey Gods have only seen good things on paper and jurassic improvements in the line-up compared to any of his predecessors. This season is by far the biggest change to the team and definitely one of the strongest teams, on paper at least, that the Shockers have assembled thus far or at least since the Toohey-Towell era.

"I wanted new blood in the team. We seem to be a different team every year but always seems to be the same old results," explained Hamelin.

The new blood actually brings in some old names back in the mix like Rod "the Red Rocket" Tremblay who was an unfortunate scratch in the debut season on the Shockers due to a season-ending injury. Tremblay, now back to 100%, feels ready to compete again and has brought some firepower along with him. Two other members of Tremblay's former hockey team agreed to sign on with the Shockers for this season to round out his line. "We were missing experience and grinders in the past so adding these guys in the line-up is huge for us offensively," outlined Hamelin.

Hamelin, added the likes Gabriel Maltais, a brutus of a hockey player who has the eye for getting the ball in the net and is a force to be reckoned with in front of the net while Francois Boucher, Marc Boucher's brother, adds speed, moves, an accurate shot and an eye for the game, an all around package deal that will be a huge asset up front.

Carlo Varano will return to the Shockers but not without long time friend and former NABHL scoring leader Danny Ballanzano. Some may remember Ballanzano as the tall and empowering captain of the Blues and others will remember him as being the big body coming down the surface and lacing a rocket top shelf. Look for these two to make life a living hell for their opponents. On a side note, Ballanzano was granted the 'C' by GM Hamelin.

The only old faces on offense are Andrew Stevens and Ben Ducharme. Stevens and Ducharme both coming off of mediocre seasons were privileged to receive offers from the GM. They are keeping in shape in another cosom hockey league with Hamelin, Boucher and Boucher, Capaz and Alain Godard.

The defense got an uncharacteristic face-lift this season as some of the past players have moved on. "We needed to change things up and I think we found the best balance of offensive and defensive defensemen," explained Hamelin.

The defense will be graced with the reliability of Gary McDermott who is coming off a rather successful end of season. "Gary is going to be our powerplay gemstone. He has that hard and accurate shot that we need from the point. He put a few balls in the net last season but I'm convinced he can double or triple his production if he just shoots more," added Hamelin.

The D will also contain Hamelin, Boucher and Jeff Jasmin who are all projected to have great seasons. Hamelin, who has found his knack at scoring last season has given him more confidence to more of an offensive oriented enforcer. Boucher, has always had the shot and has been working on hitting the net during the off-season by downloading the accuracy app on his iPhone. Jasmin, as always, will be the giant who is literally everywhere on the surface and look for him to jump into the plays to make shit happen.

The new additions to the defensive end are Alain Godard and long time spare, Guillaume Cote. Godard, formerly a forward, will try his hand at defense this season and will look to add a bit of an offensive edge to the back-end as well as using his shot from the point. Godard came off of a disappointing fall campaign and hopes to bounce back in the points column and improve his game in his new role. As for Cote, he finally decided to sign on full-time this time as he was a fish that kept swimming away from the Shockers during signing time. "We're happy to finally land him and he will be a positive impact at any position he plays on the team," stated Hamelin.

In nets for the 5th consecutive season is Giancarlo Capaz. The bar is already set high for Capaz as he has played phenomenal throughout his ball hockey career but as Hamelin put it: "We just need him to continue to play the same as he always does and we'll be fine."

The Shockers commence their season Tuesday against Hellas. Hellas made it to the finals this past fall and are tagged to do the same amount of damage this upcoming season.

Vegas Predictions:
Season: 4th
Playoffs: Semi-finals

Shocked in the First Round...Again!

2010-03-21T12:56:00.002-04:00

So chalk it up for another season of disappointment for the Shockers as they were downed in the opening round of the playoffs by the Saints 5-1, Thursday night at the SportsXpo. Call it how you want to call it but the Shockers have never advanced past the first round of the playoffs in their entire 5 seasons of hockey.

The Saints didn't really come out strong or play any harder than the Shockers but goaltending saved the day for the Saints. "We had shots and rebounds but those lucky bounces didn't go our way," explained Andrew Stevens.

The Saints benefited from defensive breakdowns and the luxury of having that one open guy in front of the net. "It's impossible to save everything and when there is that one guy loose in front of me, it makes it harder," shuttered Giancarlo Capaz.

Another aspect that killed the momentum for the Shockers was the lack of activity on the powerplay. Just a whole lot of perimeter passes and shots, if not blocked by the Saints defense, that were easily seen by the goalie since there was no one crashing the net. "You know we make it a point in the dressing to always have someone in front of the net and come game time, no one is there. I don't know if our players are afraid of the ball or afraid of a little contact...who knows," Stevens mentioned.

With the Shockers season cut short once again, the talks of rebuilding for next season have surely started and the rumor mill is undoubtedly churning up a storm. The summer season will most likely have the Shockers back in Howie-Morenz arena in Parc Extension but the bigger question will be, who is on the team? For sure on a big surface such as Howie-Morenz, the Shockers must consider enough firepower to span across three lines and should really start to look for players who can put the ball in the net as this season was one of the most unproductive seasons the Shockers ever had. "It is embarrassing to see our stats and notice that we have one of the lowest goals-for in the league and then the fact that to PTM blog mentions that we haven't scored more than 2 goals in our last 9 or 10 games...that hurts," added Francois Hamelin.

Hamelin, who will most likely be at the reigns of the summer Shockers, will have a lot of big decisions to make. Who can he get to fill another line of offense that will be sure to score goals? With many of the defensemen of this season walking off the job in the middle of the games, will there be some firing, quitting or rediscussion with those players? If there are no changes to the gameplay of the Shockers defense, is Capaz at his wits-end enough to shop around to another team? Players like Andrew Stevens who held out until the start of the season to re-sign with the Shockers, will he come back? Either way, the journey to next season will be a bumpy road nonetheless.

McDermott is Not Just a Great Hockey Player, but...

2010-02-25T15:47:00.003-05:00

Fan-favourite, Gary McDermott, is not only a great hockey player and a cornerstone to the Shockers organization but he has recently been recognized as a great worker outside of hockey. McDermott won an award at Xerox for the least amount of paper cuts for 2009. He takes home the hardware and a $25 gift certificate to Jean Coutu to purchase some hair gell, maybe a toothbrush and you can never go wrong with some rubbers!

We're so proud of you, Gary!

The Disappointments Keep Adding Up

2010-02-22T14:40:00.002-05:00

Final Score
Subzero 11
Shockers 2

What can be said about the Shockers these days? Not a whole lot except for the fact that their closing up of the regular season is nothing short of epic failure. 19 goals against in just 2 games compared to their 4 goals. Leaving guys open in the slot. Forgetting the notion of man-to-man coverage. I'm not too sure, but the Shockers need to start thinking simple hockey over again, even though these are the same issues that have been arising all season, something needs to give for this team.

"We're not a goal scoring team, we have no finish; so you'd think we'd play defense and try win games that way and we can't even seem to do that," commented a very frustrated Francois Hamelin.

A team that was expected to move up the standings and finish off the season with a winning streak is definitely making a sad showing for itself. "I don't know if we expected for the games to fall in our lap but I've been seeing a lot of lazy playing out on the floor. These are games that we should of had and we didn't show up to play," comented Andrew Stevens.

The main problem with the Shockers in consistent defensive play. One game they will play excellent man-to-man coverage, the forwards will be back-checking and nothing will get by the defense and then the next game they are a completely different team with horrible defensive breakdowns, lazy swipes at an active ball, forgetting to cover guys in the slot and leaving guys in front of the net untouched.

With such size on the blueline, the Shockers should start using their size to their advantage, push the guys out from in front of the net and give Giancarlo Capaz a chance to see the shots coming in on net. By clearing the opposition from in front of the net, it will significantly cut down of rebound goals which the Shockers are seeing very often. A good example of this is Gary McDermott, he's tall, he's big and plays excellent positioning. He's got a great reach in that massive stick of his which makes it a living nightmare to be matched up against him. But what is more impressive about the Green Monster is how he imposes his body in front of the net. He angles himself into the opposing player and cuts away literally all chances of them touching the ball. The stick is always in the check and he difuses the body to eliminate sudden movements to break free. A few more guys playing like this in the back and the Shockers could eliminate at least 80% of their goals against.

Second problem is lazy play. Desipte having some of the younger players in the league, the Shockers look like the oldest ones out there. If they're going to waste their time and energy making effortless attempts at winning the ball they might as well sit on the bench because they are not helping the team.

The Shockers have just 2 games left before the end of the season. One against Mobilart and the other against the Saints, in any case, Shockers should really be thinking "win" or else it will be a rough ride in the play-offs that might be just as short-lived as in the past.

Never Commit!

2010-02-05T16:52:00.002-05:00

"Never commit!" is all Carlo Varano had to say after he chipped home the game-winning goal with just 57 seconds left in the game last night against the Underdogs.

Underdogs, who play a tight defensive game, narrowly beat the Shockers at the beginning of the season 3-2, but the Shockers had big plans to spoil the party this time around. "We were somehow predicted to win on the PTM site but we all knew that we HAD to win. Every point means something now so we got to steal them where we can get them," commented goaltender Giancarlo Capaz.

Capaz, who literally saved the day once again for the Shockers held strong and made huge saves throughout the game but especially in the 2nd where the Shockers looked flat and even ran into a bit of penalty trouble.

The Shockers rolled with the usual line-ups up front of Varano-Minkiewicz-Rossi and Stevens-Ducharme-Godard but did try something new with the defensive pairings when it came to special teams. "We had to try something new. Hockey in general, a lot of the powerplay success comes from an organized back-end so we needed to make sure to get good firepower on the points. At the same time, we needed to make sure to keep an energetic and ball-aggressive pair out there on the PK," chattered el capitaino, Francois Hamelin.

The game didn't start off well for the Shockers as they went down 1-0 quickly within the first shift of the game. "I don't think anyone was expecting that," Mike Minkiewicz explained.

With a quick change of the lines, the Shockers leveled the playing field by notching one of their own. Alain Godard's howitzer went high, hit the back boards and jumped out at the goalie who couldn't handle the hot ball. Andrew Stevens was right on the doorstep to tap it in. "You don't get those kind of goals often, it was a real gift," Stevens chuckled.

Not too long after, the Shockers got on the powerplay and faster than the Underdogs got in the box, Gary McDermott let a howitzer go from the point and fist-pumped his 2nd of the season to give the Shockers a 2-1 edge. "They gave me enough space to shoot, I just wanted to keep it low to get a rebound but it was already in the back of the net," McDermott replayed to the press.

The second period was fairly weak for the Shockers, like usual, and they looked very passive against the Underdogs' attacks. It did take a little more than 15 minutes for the 'dogs to get a winning combination but they finally tied up the game.

The third period was rather back and forth and really looked like it could be anyone's game especially when Minkiewicz rang one of the post, the dogs came back the other way and hit the post as well in the same shift. The game looked like it was going to OT but Carlo Varano, who didn't give the defense any freedom to pass the ball out, intercepted a lazy pass and chipped it on net. Too hot to handle, the ball was in with just 57 seconds left. "Carlo had been talking about never committing to one angle of a pass because you can easily fool the player to passing to the other side but mentally you will be ready for it and then look what this guy does! Does exactly that!" Rossi explained.

With that win, the Shockers move up to tied for 8th with Kennedy Crew. The Shockers do have a decent schedule ahead and could potentially walk away with a few more 'W's. More news to come next week!

The Race is On!

2010-02-04T13:52:00.003-05:00

"The race is on!" said team captain and local drunkard, Francois Hamelin.

The race he is referring to is the race to the end of the season and more importantly, the positioning for the playoffs. Taking a peek at the current standings, the Shockers would be taking on the Hawks, a team where the Shockers narrowly lost in over-time 4-3. However, if the Shockers pick up the pace they can easily move up the ladder as there are only 8 points dividing the Shockers (currently 10th) and 4th place (currently occupied by Special Delivery).

The Shockers have potential to move up the standings with their last 5 games of the season. Tonight is the Underdogs, a team who has been reaping the benefits of a defense-first style of gameplay and currently sit up in 3rd place narrowly escaped the Shockers with a 2-1 win last time they faced. After that we got Special Delivery, who despite being a 4th place team, had all kinds of trouble against the Shockers and lost that battle 5-3 at the beginning of the season. Then it is Mike Minkiewicz's brother's team, Subzero. Last time they face it was a showdown of no brotherly love and in the end result, Mike, took home the 'W' and the most points of that game. The second to last game is against Mobilart, a struggling team who are pretty much playing the spoiler role at this point since their playoff aspirations are fading out way in the distance. Despite Shockers winning last time 5-2, look for Mobilart to give it all they got left, afterall, don't you find teams who try to spoil it for other teams seem to play their better hockey? And last but not least, the Saints who had a rough start to the season walked all over the Shockers 5-0 last time they played each other. Shockers have to win that one or else they will probably lose a lot of wood going into the post-season and we all know how the Shockers do in the playoffs even with inflated tires...let's hope the Saints don't get to stick a wrench in the gears for the white-black-red.

And then there are the rumors...

Rumors already about the summer season? Yes, this is true. According to semi-reliable sources, there has been some chatter about some Shockers jumping ship to reform the now-defunct Damage Inc. who contained the likes of Mike Rossi, Mike Minkiewicz, Carlo Varano, Giancarlo Capaz and spare, Nick Petosa. That being said, if the Shockers lose these plays that means 90% of their offensive production goes out the window, Capaz does double duty for both teams again and there had even murmurs about the conspirers poaching players from the Shockers.

When asked about the rumors, Francois Hamelin had this to say: "There might be people talking but that is their business. Right now, the team has to keep focus on the playoffs and making this team go forward. The summer is a long way from now and no one is trapped to stay on the Shockers."

All rumors aside, the Shockers have a tough game tonight against the Underdogs @ 6:30pm. Look for the Underdogs to play their smart defensive style, they don't take too many chances, so goals won't fall into the Shockers' forwards laps.

Emmanuel Behind "Pants on the Ground" Stunt

2010-01-29T15:39:00.004-05:00

Less than 24 hours after allegations of Mike Rossi distributing child pornography surfaced, it seems like another Shockers has made the headlines. Even-tempered defenseman, Greg Emmanuel, has been accused of being behind the American Idol Youtube star, General Larry Platt's media frenzy. Emmanuel apparenting met Platt in an L.A. night club and offered to help Platt reach the summit of popularity.

Emmanuel, drunk and in a wild temperment as usual, fronted $5000 to Platt to "git some swagger 'n' git iced out, n***a!"

Platt appeared on America's most popular telelvision shows, American Idol, to become the next American Idol. Platt, who is now 62 years of age, somehow passed though the subscription process even though the maximum of American Idol is 28. According to an American Idol staff member, Emmanuel was "tossing Benjamins at people like as he was Nelly and P. Diddy on a Saturday night."

Platt performed his new cult-favorite "Pants on the Ground" and became an over-night success on the internet, even inciting DJ's to feature his song in remixes.

"I just wanted to help a brother out. When I met him, he was more broke than Oscar the Grouch and everybody knows, he's the poorest motherfucker on Sesame street! No body's helping him out!" commented Emmanuel on the situation.

The video can be seen here on Youtube.

Rossi in Trouble

2010-01-28T14:25:00.005-05:00

Leading scorer of the Shockers, Mike Rossi, received word the other day that police officials are hunting him down for secretly putting DVD's of child pornography in people's parcels, shipping the boxes out to unsuspecting recipients and leaving anonymous tips on the 9-1-1 hotline to catch the "child sex offenders."

Rossi, who works in a mailroom at a fairly large company (who requested to remain anonymous) had been apparently planning and executing this sick practical joke for about 8 months.

Rossi, was apparently ratted out by fellow co-worker and aspiring hockey star, Jonathan Knight, to his manager and then escalated to the police. "We were monitoring Mr. Rossi's actions for a couple of weeks and we found a lot of disturbing evidence against him," commented Chief Investigator, Russ Hampton.

Despite, the apparent evidence found, Rossi might be able to loop-hole his way out of the allegations since the evidence collected was without a valid warrant and was technically unauthorized property, therefore the case would be thrown out of court.

When Rossi was asked about the accusations, he simply said that he thought of something, paused and then said that he was framed and he is trying to find the real culprit on his own accord. Rossi has been in the spotlight recently for leading the Shockers in points, however, to most of his peers his spot on the team appeared to be fragile at the beginning of the season where Rossi had a slow start which could be the reason for someone to sabotage his carreer. Players like Andrew Johnson and Jonathan Knight are known to hold a certain grudge against the Shockers due to the management backing out of contract negotiations. Johnson commented: "I wouldn't have framed this kid, I hate the Shockers, especially the little queer goalie but sending someone to jail to be ass-raped by a guy bigger than Jeff [Jasmin], that's not my style."

In the meantime, Rossi will continue to play for the Shockers and you can expect him to suit up for Saturday's game against the Pythons. Shockers' team managment was asked about the surfaced news and they simply said: "Innocent until proven guilty. He's our leading scorer so we're not ready to throw him to the wolves just yet," however, certain players have other ideas about it.

"I knew that guy wasn't right," said Joey Rae.

"Yo, that's some fucked up shit!" exclaimed Jasmin.

Look for the Shockers to play the Pythons this Saturday at 3:00pm. Pythons are looking to jump into first place while the Shockers are trying to hold on to a decent playoff poisition.

Hunters Become the Hunted

2010-01-18T10:44:00.002-05:00

Final Score
Shockers 5
Iron Wolves 1

Despite the Shockers coming off a 2-game losing streak, despite missing 4 players out of their line-up, despite the PTM website predicting that the Shockers were going to lose, the Shockers brought their 'A' game to the table when they took on the Iron Wolves this past Saturday. The Wolves were hungry for a big win as they, like the Shockers, are fighting for playoff positioning.

"We knew we had to win, another loss means a tougher playoff schedule for us," commented Corona-crusher, Joey Rae.

According to the PTM website, which is 2 games behind on updates, the Shockers hold a 4-point lead on the Iron Wolves and are just 2-points to move from 9th to 7th. With the Shockers win and assuming I.T.T and Saints lost their two games, the Shockers jump to 7th and hold a firm 6-point lead over the Wolves.

Before the game, the Shockers received word that 3 of their core defensemen would be out of the line-up, Greg Emmanuel, Marc Boucher and captain Francois Hamelin. As always out with a serious groin injury, Frankie Ortuso. Mike Rossi, deemed interim captain for the night, called on friend Nick Petosa who has seen some ice-time with the Shockers and posted up some impressive numbers but was unable to make it. Gary McDermott called up former Shockers, Dwayne Pilon, to fill in on defense and notably was McDermott's line-mate.

"I've been waiting for [Francois Hamelin's] call all this time and finally I got my shot," commented Pilon.

The first period started off shakey for the Shockers as the Iron Wolves poured on the attack. The Shockers were bailed out by the acrobatic-antics of goalie, Giancarlo Capaz, who was standing on his head at some points. Shockers regrouped and posted up a 1-0 lead when Andrew Stevens' slapshot found the back of the net.

The second period kicked off with a good performance by the Shockers, for a change, but things would take a turn when the Iron Wolves trolleyed in and found a way to beat Capaz to tie up the game 1-1. That would be short-lived as the Shockers rumbled back with Carlo Varano potting a goal for a 2-1 lead. Right before the period was all was said and done, Capaz froze the ball, dished it to Gary McDermott who then fed Varano who Hail Mary'd to Mike Rossi who chipped it by the goaltender to make it 3-1 with just 4 seconds left in the frame.

The third period was all Shockers, who played disciplined hockey even though the Iron Wolves were showing signs of frustration. Pilon scored midway through the period with a howitzer from the point and Mike Minkiewicz slap-chopped the ball home off a one-time feed by Varano to make it 5-1.

The Shockers dominated much of the game and the win was well-meritted.

"We did quick changes, played smart and we actually worked together out there. Good all-around game," commented Capaz.

The Shockers will now have a 2-week down time until they restart the schedule against the Pythons on Saturday, January 30th @ 3:00pm. Last time these teams face, the Pythons stomped all over them and easily took it 6-1, however, Shockers will look to make it respectable and hopefully surprise the Pythons by stealing a win.

Hitmen Destroy Shockers

2010-01-14T14:13:00.002-05:00

Final Score
Hitmen 7
Shockers 1

This past week has been a rather disappointing week for the Shockers as they suffered their second lost in a span of a week. The latest is the huge loss against the first place Hitmen by the score of 7-1.

Hitmen have been rolling over most teams this season and the Shockers were another knotch on the bedpost. They have excellent positioning in their defensive zone, an offensive unit with a good amount of depth and superb passing throughout the whole team. At most parts of the game they made the Shockers look like they were not even running anymore which made it an easy victory for the Hitmen.

The Shockers will have to regroup for this Saturday's game against the Iron Wolves (4-7-2) as the battle is in full-swing for a playoff spot with only 7 games left in the regular season. Regrouping might be a hard thing for the team to do with some core players out of the line-up. Francois Hamelin, Marc Boucher and Greg Emmanuel have confirmed to be healthy scratches and Frankie Ortuso is still most likely out with his groin injury. There have been no confirmations as to who will be filling in the voids.

Hawks Snatch Win in OT

2010-01-08T09:13:00.003-05:00

Final Score
Hawks 4
Shockers 3 (OT)

Shockers are licking their wounds this morning as they're winning streak was abruptly halted by the Hawks in last night's over-time loss. A game where the Shockers received Carlo Varano back in the lineup for the first time in months after taking a leave of absence for personal reasons.

The Shockers, who were neck-and-neck with the Hawks in the standings, came out strong in the first posting up a 1-0 lead with Guillaume "Buddé" Côté scoring off a superb passing play by Mike Rossi and Carlo Varano. The second period is where the Shockers fell apart and let the Hawks take the lead 3-1. "Too many long-bomb passes on a surface where the ball isn't stable cost us those goals," added Hamelin.

After a heart-felt pep talk from captain Hamelin, the boys in black equalized the game at 3-a-piece when Hamelin wired one from the blueline and trickled its way to the back of the net and then Ben Ducharme chipping one home from deep in the slot off a feed from Varano. In over-time, the Shockers had a key chance to close out the game when Alain Godard tried to thread the needle to Varano, who was open on the side of the net, but the ball was stopped in its tracks and headmanned up ice for the Hawks to finish it.

"There were a few things that went wrong but over-all we can say we lost because we didn't play three periods,"commented Francois Hamelin on the Shockers performance.

"We got tired quick and we paid for it in the second trying to get too fancy. We woke up again in third but the damage was done," stated defensive muscle man, Jeff Jasmin.

The Shockers kick off 2010 with a heartbreaking loss and that does mean quite a bit in the standings as they will need to be fighting took and nail for a playoff spot. Giancarlo Capaz explains, "it was really a 6 point game in terms of standings and we blew it."

The Shockers will look to redeem themselves Tuesday at 6:30pm against the flawless Hitmen who have been rolling over teams with complete disregard. Despite the Shockers facing all kinds of different challenges this season, this may be one of the biggest tests to see how well the Shockers can keep a big scoring team, like the Hitmen, in check. "Since the Shockers started playing hockey, nothing has ever come easy so I think we're all used to being challenged," commented Andrew Stevens.

“Bounce back le gros!” – Giancarlo Capaz

2010-01-06T23:15:00.009-05:00

The New Year's game against the Blue Gators turned out to be a much bigger battle than expected. Even if the Shockers managed to steal the win in the dying seconds, the dressing room was filled with mixed emotions after the game. Scott Hartnell look-a-like, Alain Godard commented, “we hadn’t played a game in weeks and it reflected in our play tonight.”

The Shockers appeared disorganized and never controlled the momentum of the game. The ever-so-positive tower-of-power, Joey Rae, said: “We’ll take the W, an ugly win is still win. We have to focus on the positive aspects, we stole the game in the dying minutes because this team showed determination.”

The Shockers showed up with a depleted lineup of only 3 regular forwards and had to opt to make some changes. In the big win against the Stealth Assasins, Jeff "Brazzer Jazzer" Jasmin and Marc "The Claw" Boucher had contributed a lot up front, the Shockers decided to keep the winning combination. The decision turned out to be a good one, Jazzer scored twice and the Claw's velvet hands danced around the Gators to generate a good amount of the team's offense.

The team can thank the D squad for the offensive contribution, 4 out of 5 goals coming from regular D’s. Greg "Hey Ya" Emmanuel putted his first of the season from a nice triple-deke by the Claw, Joey Rae’s dirty slapper managed to squeeze through and Jasmin a.k.a "JJ26" added a pair.

The enigmatic goalie Giancarlo "Jizzy Jizzy" Capaz is hoping his team will decide to post a big game against the Hawks this Thursday @ 6:30pm: “Bounce back le gros… We need to bounce back with a stellar performance.”

Andrew Stevens, who has been Ghost like Patrick Swayze since the game on December 10th, added this statement: “We need to start the year with a big bang, we’re playing against Hawks and we’re neck-and-neck with them in the standings… It’s a 6-point game so taking home the win is crucial.”

Shockers will be facing the Hawks and are looking to start the year with a big game and keep the winning streak going. Frankie Ortuso will still be out of lineup due to some previous groin/penis injury. Joey Rae chuckled about Ortuso's misfortune and has this to say: “Some say it’s a groin injury… Some say he put his peener in a ShopVac… I have to admit, knowing Frankie for a long time, I tend to believe the second option”

Also Mike "Minky Tits" Minkiewicz and Carlo Varano will be healthy scratches out of the lineup but power forward Guillaume Cote has been called up to fill in the void on center and lover boy, Marc Boucher will support on right wing.

Come cheer on the Shockers as they look to keep the winning streak going.

PTM Praises Capaz in Weekly Blog

2009-12-14T15:47:00.002-05:00

PTM praised goaltending phenom, Giancarlo Capaz, in this week's write-up on their website in regards to his stellar shut-out performance against the Stealth Assassins. The blurb also name-drops Alain Godard for his lone goal.

Here is a repost of it:

The Shockers stun the Stealth Assasins. Capaz does the job in nets.
The Shockers caused a major upset as they defeated the mighty Stealth Assasins 1-0. G.Capaz made 25 saves to earn his first shutout of the season while A.Goddard scored teh game's lone goal; it was his first of the season.

et en français:

Les Shockers surprennent les Stealth Assasins. Capaz fait le travail dans les filets.
Les Shockers ont causé une belle surprise en disposant des puissants Stealth Assasins au compte de 1 à 0. G.Capaz a repoussé 25 tirs pour mériter son premier jeu blanc de la saison tandis que A.Goddard a inscrit l'unique but de la rencontre; c'était son premier de la saison.

THE 10 Q's: Giancarlo "Clamster" Capaz

2009-12-11T12:09:00.012-05:00

We're shaking things up a bit and stepping away from the seriousness of the usual pre-game/post-game postings with this new segment we're calling The 10 Q's.

We take 10 of the best questions we received from fans and curious blog enthusiasts and picked a random Shocker to fill in the blanks for us.

This week is none other than goalie and teenager girl heart-throb, Giancarlo "Drunken Clam" Capaz.

Q1: How did you get started with the Shockers?
A1: Well I have been playing ball hockey for about the past 6 yrs. First started off with The Blues, then Les Buddys followed by Damage Inc and currently with The Shockers.
The idea of getting a bunch of guys together from work and building a team always struck me, but I wasn’t up for assuming the role as the team GM. From past experience, I’ve lost way too much coins, and way too much wood that I even had the people at Viagra questioning their product. Once our former captain stepped to the plate [Alain Godard, aka “PTB”] I was in.

Q2: In you didn’t play hockey, what would you be doing instead?
A2: Not sure. Probably rubbing one out or see Question 6.

Q3: There are always heated moments when you are with a team, which Shocker would you lose it on?
A3: Yes – there have been heated moments in the locker room, but I usually tend to keep to myself rather losing on someone.
However, if I had to choose someone, it would have to be Rossi.

Reason:
I sure I could loss it on him to another level and he wouldn’t even know – that damn guy is always thinking.

Q4: A shot from The Claw at 10 feet or a shot for Chris Diabo at 30 feet?
A4: That’s a damn good question considering that both have injured me during warm-ups [Bloody Toe by the Claw, and Busted Finger by Diabo]

However Diabo’s shoot tends to gain velocity, dips, turns, and curves – Fuck the ball has a mind of its own when it leaves his stick the further he is. This could lead to some serious injuries: concussion, or even a drop in my sperm count. I’ll pass and take on the CLAW any day.

Q5: If you to challenge any WWE wrestler (past or present) to a cage match, who would you take on?
A5: I used to be a HUGE Wrestling fan, before ECW was bought out by the shitty WWE. Anyways, if I would have to challenge a WWE wrestler [past or present] to a Cage match, it would have to be the HULK Hogan, the HULKSTER himself.

Main reason:
You deserve having your ass thrown off the steel cage after using a Shitty Ass Leg Drop to KO wrestlers for the past decade. How can that even be a finishing move?

Q6: Shockers’ game 7 for the cup or cheap dance night at the Amazon, where would GC be?
A6: A wise man once told that you should never pay for SEX… with that being said, he’s an Idiot. Definitely @ Amazon’s painting the place white.
I feel phenomenal after my cheap $10 dance, knowing that I helped support a single mother.

Q7: Shockers’ game 7 for the cup or anniversary dinner with the girlfriend?
A7: Four words – “TOO MUCH QUALITY TIME”.
Would definitely be Game 7 for the Cup, unless I some how cross a stripe club on the way there… hey could happen.

Q8: ATM or Drive-by Bukkake?
A8: Definitely a Drive-by Bukkake.
I’m all about dropping a load, and bouncing before they even know what hit them.

Q9: Francois Hamelin is growing a mustache, does he look like George Parros, Bert Reynolds or Planter’s Peanut Man with a mustache?
A9: Neither.
Let’s be honest, he looks like Wild Bill or a broken down Theodore Roosevelt

Q10: Alain Godard is known for going “dick out”, do you second guess sitting beside him in the dressing room?
A10: Actually, after hearing that Alain is known for going “dick-out” I have tried sitting closer to him in the locker room.
Let’s get something straight, I’m far from being gay, but I for one am curious to see if he has a pony tail down below. Maybe has it groomed like ZZ Top, who knows.

Capaz and Godard Shine In Shutout Win

2009-12-11T09:14:00.003-05:00

Final Score
Shockers 1
Stealth Assassins 0

Like the old saying goes: Games are won with defense. It was definitely true for the Shockers last night.

The Shockers were so short-staffed they were actually missing a full line of forwards so coach, GM and player, Francois Hamelin, opted to call Marc Boucher and Jeff Jasmin into his office to propose them spots up front.

"I honestly thought that we were going to get killed. When you have to play a team who are high up in the standings, on the big surface, with just four defense and missing some of our top goal scorers...you're not thinking this is going to go our way," commented Andrew Stevens.

Stevens was gravely wrong as the Shockers, for the second time this season, out-ran and out-battled their opponents.

"We had a lot of great chances that we should have capitalized on," said Mike Rossi after the game, "we were so close many times but it just would not go in for us."

The lone goal came from Alain Godard, who finally broke the ice with his first goal this season. Godard jumped on a loose ball that went astray when the Assassins defense clearing attempt was abruptly ruined by a broken stick leaving Godard to have his way with the goaltender. A somewhat debatable goal, Godard rang it of the interior of the cross bar which caused a stir between the refs and the Assassins but Godard's conviction won over. "When you know it's in, you know it's in and the ref saw it too so I knew I wasn't going crazy," explained Godard.

Godard snaps a 9-game goalless streak with this game-winner and as certain players explain, they might have been riding Godard a bit too hard during the season:

"[laughs] Yeah, we might have poked fun at him a few times at work, in the dressing room, on the bench, a bit everywhere...he was taking it from all angles...a real bukkake of one-liners," chuckled Giancarlo "Clamster" Capaz.

"Finalement! Ostie!" worded line-mate, Ben Ducharme.

"He might have broken the ice but he can suck my dick if he thinks he's touching one of my Corona's, the goal wasn't that nice!" joked Joey Rae.

The Shockers maintained a 1-0 lead from the first period all the way through to the end of the game with a big help from goalie, Giancarlo Capaz, who turned away a handful of key opportunities the Assassins had. "Some of those guys had shots, but I saw mostly all of them and got lucky on a few," added Capaz.

"Got lucky on a few," is quite the understatement as Capaz had made a first period save with his glove without even knowing it, "I was going to chip it aside with my blocker and it somehow ended up in my glove. I only realized it when the ref blew the whistle," explained Capaz.

Despite Capaz getting his first official shutout this season, the Shockers' special teams really held it down for him last night. The power-play had many chances especially coming of the way of Ben Ducharme who missed the net on a few one-timers. Ducharme even returned to the bench after the first period to appologize to his team-mates for missing some huge chances on go ahead goals. The penalty kill was especially on fire; the biggest test came when they had to kill a 4-minute high sticking call against Jeff Jasmin. "That call was bullshit, they did the same exact thing and they get 2 minutes, but you take it how they call it.....cracker!" commented Jasmin.

The Shockers will enjoy some time off until their next game which takes place on December 26 @ 3pm. The Shockers will take on the very deadly Hitmen who are enjoying a successful season thus far going a perfect 9-0. Shockers may benefit by showing up with enough players and hoping that the Hitmen lack fire power due to the holiday season. Regardless, the Shockers should get ready for a fast-paced game as the Hitmen have been taking no prisoners.

Shockers Etching Closer to 500 with Forfeit Win

2009-12-07T09:31:00.002-05:00

NDG Choppers had to cancel this past Saturday's game against the Shockers which, in PTM, is an automatic forfeit. Shockers will gladly take the freebie as they are trying to sneak up closer and closer to 500 hockey.

"It's never fun to not play hockey but at this point we'll take a win anyway we can get it," commented Francois Hamelin.

NDG Choppers surcame to a dissappointing conclusion late in the week leading up to the game that they would not have enough players dressed for the game.

Shockers who are now 4-5-0 and sit in 8th place will have be ready for an intense game against the Stealth Assassins (5-3-1) this coming Thursday. Already, the Shockers have been out of action for about a week and a half so there might be a bit of a rust factor especially to those who have not been able to attend the optional practices the team has been holding. But, the Shockers might be catching the Assassins at a rough time as they have been 0-2-1 in their last 3 games whereas the Shockers are 2-1-0 in their last 3. Regardless, if the Shockers can come out strong like they did against Subzero, we'll have an interesting game, but if they come out of the gates like they did against the Kennedy Crew, forget it, they might as well stay home.

Carlo Varano will still be out and is likely to miss the rest of the season, Frankie Ortuso has yet to report in on his groin injury, Alain Godard is back in the line-up but Giancarlo Capaz will be a big question mark to start as he is still battling his four-season long flu-like symptoms.

Next game: Thursday @ 10:30pm vs. the Stealth Assassins on the big surface at the Sports XPO.

Check back soon as this week's edition of 10 Q's will be answered by none other than Giancarlo "Juan Luis Bodega Santa Maria Del Cullo de Buitre" Capaz.

Put the Breaks On 500

2009-12-02T09:16:00.003-05:00

Final Score
Kennedy Crew 6
Shockers 3

The light at the end of the tunnel for the Shockers was breaking into the 500 club but those hopes were set aside abruptly by a team who has been experiencing a difficult start, the Kennedy Crew.

Kennedy Crew were 1-4-0 coming into the game and picked up an uplifting win against the Shockers last Thursday, so where does that leave the Shockers going into this next stretch of games against teams higher up in the standings?

"We'll just have to play harder and stop making mistakes," commented Andrew Stevens who was held off the scoresheet for the first time in 3 games.

Mistakes are definitely something the Shockers need to cut out of their vocabulary. At least 4 out of 6 goals last game against the Kennedy Crew were attributed to grave mistakes by both the offense and defense. With that being said, the Shockers will have to go back to square one and look to games against Mobilart and Subzero for inspiration. It's not hard to play man-to-man coverage on a small surface, this is where the Shockers succeed, but on a large surface where cardio is key, the Shockers are struggling. The Shockers have bigger guys so maybe a stay-at-home approach should be applied by the defense while the forwards play a trap system; either way, the team has to figure out something for games on the large surface.

Next few games will present Shockers with some new challenges: better teams and missing players. NDG Choppers, Stealth Assassins and Hitmen are all good teams who have been having a great deal of success this season. On the flip side, the Shockers will be scouring around to find players to patch in the gaps of missing players, the likes of Carlo Varano (indefinitely, personal reasons), Frankie Ortuso (day-to-day, groin), Alain Godard (day-to-day, sun burn) and Andrew Stevens (1 game, rocking out). With all these players out, who could be the cream filling? Nick Petosa? JK 77? Andrew Johnson?

Andrew Johnson, whose contract was bought out by the Shockers two seasons ago, has been left on the back-burner since and has voiced his opinion about the Shockers on numerous occassions. Words like "mofos" and "rat-sized penis suckers" have been used to describe the level of professionalism in handling Johnson's final game in his 3-game contract. "I was shammed and now I hate that team. I hope the goalie gets hit by a bus," Johnson explained. Despite his animosity for the team, perhaps now that the team is in a bind, could both parties put their differences aside or will the hate-crew saga continue?

Look for an interesting night of new faces on Saturday as the Shockers will go grill-on-grill with the NDG Choppers in their hopes to gripe their way back into 500 contention.

THE 10 Q's: Andrew Stevens

2009-11-25T09:11:00.010-05:00

We're shaking things up a bit and stepping away from the seriousness of the usual pre-game/post-game postings with a new segment we're calling The 10 Q's.

We take 10 of the best questions we received from fans and curious blog enthusiasts and picked a random Shocker to fill in the blanks for us.

This week is none other than left winger, Andrew Stevens.

Q1: What got you started with the Shockers?
A1: I was part of the conception of this team so if you take Alain Godard and make him the mother of the Shockers, I was one of the fathers that hit that and I've been ruining that ass ever since.

Q2: Who has the strangest pre-game preparation in the dressing room?
A1: I'd have to say either Francois Hamelin or Frankie Ortuso. Hamster because he enjoys taping his jock strap on before every game, usually the tighter, the better. Blue balls before the game lets him play with more of an edge. Ortuso, because he makes these faces that remind you a bit of Bill Cosby while he talks about pulling his groin muscle.

Q3: If you were to get ridiculously plastered with one of the Shockers, who would it be?
A3: Definately not Jeff! I'd like to keep my asshole its current size. Jeff gets a little frisky after double Appletons. There is actually a myth about Jeff, he once walked outside with an erection, sadly, there were no survivors.

Q4: In your opinion, which Shocker would make a terrible father?
A4: Capaz. If he wouldn't get his kid drunk every day before going to daycare, he would probably lose his kid's college fund in a poker game and then bet his kid on black in roulette.

Q5: Tug of war between Joey Rae and Mike Rossi, who would win?
A5: Oh nice! The classic battle between David and Goliath. Undertaker and Kane. Little People Big World and John and Kate Plus 8. I'd have to go with Joey.

Q6: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Corey Hart in a race around the world, who would win?
A6: Corey Hart is a sly fox but not sure how he would fess up about finding his way around when it is dark if he plans on wearing his sunglasses at night. But then again, can Bret even see out of those pink glasses? They're not even glasses, they're like cardboard cut outs!

Q7: Ramen noodles or Kraft Dinner?
A7: All over the Kraft Dinner! Soaks up the alcohol nice and is smooth when barfed up.

Q8: Do you call it "getting head" or "making throat babies"?
A8: Throat babies!

Q9: If you weren't playing hockey for the Shockers, what sport would you look into joining?
A9: I'd like to get into MMA fighting but I'm not sure about taking punches to the face. I'd have to be huge like Brock Lesner, untouchable like George St-Pierre and black from the waist down.

Q10: You have Irish and Ukrainian blood in you, people say that you actually live in a state of drunkenness all the time. True or false.
A10: I wouldn't say state of drunkenness but rather a state of ecstasy and euphoria. Some people smoke and fly, I'd rather drink and drive. I'm not condoning drinking and driving but definitely makes traffic a whole lot more fun!

Watch Stevens this coming Thursday as he and Shockers take on the Kennedy Crew in their attempts to make it to 500.

Shockers Put Subzero On Ice

2009-11-20T09:07:00.003-05:00

Final Score
Shockers 5
Subzero 3

Chalking up the Shockers' third victory in the last four games, El Capitaino, Francois "Big Slapper" Hamelin is feeling much better about how this team has turned around a rough start this season: "We're finally getting a better feel out there on the floor and the guys are working hard. Good things are happening. OLE!"

The Shockers were eager to win this game and make it two wins in a row but what was another incentive was the fact that speedy-man Mike Minkiewicz's brother, Steve, was sitting on the other bench. Steve, who currently leads Subzero in points was looking to give his little brother a run for his money, but in the end Little Mink stole the show was a couple of goals and an assist or two to add to his point total.

Also making his mark thisgame was Frankie "Minute Man" Ortuso who pounded home two goals, one of which wizzed by goalie Andrew Caruso and the other was an empty net goal. This was Ortuso's third game of the season after missing a few games due to a groin injury. "My groin is still killing me but when I was out of the floor I felt like I was flying on a unicorn of mystic powers," stated Ortuso after the game.

Amongst the pair of goals by both Minkiewicz and Ortuso, the other goal came from Andrew Stevens who had seen a lot of playing time last night. "Frankie was hurt and he gave it his all out there so he changed often but we always told the guys that if they're tired, get off. It is better to get off than to try stay on an not be effective. I didn't mind the playing time but at the end, I was pretty dead," chuckled Stevens.

Shockers did move the ball out of their zone quickly and were rarely jammed in their zone for the most part. There was a lot of impressive plays made by Francois Hamelin who is still riding the high of his first goal and Gary McDermott who has been solid all season of defence. "We're moving the ball out well and we're making those important break out passes. That's how we'll need to start out our attacks," added Greg Emmanuel.

Despite all the good news, the Shockers have still not seen the scoring touch of Alain "Duck Tails" Godard. He is thus far 7 games into the season without a goal and is one of the few Shockers who remain goaless.

"He's been getting some chances but he's got to be a little more selfish and take those shots," commented Stevens on Godard's playing.

"Hahaha, yeah, it's not going so well," chuckled Godard.

"Attend! Quand il va casser la glace! Check lui, il va être en feu" added line-mate Ben Ducharme.

With the Shockers making it two in a row, the team looks to make it three when they face the Kennedy Crew next Thursday @ 11:30pm. The Kennedy Crew is currently 1-3-0 according to the very up to date PTM website, but experienced the taste of winning in their most recent game against the Hawks which begs to wonder if KC is turning their season around as well.

Hot or Subzero?

2009-11-18T15:44:00.002-05:00

Shockers will look to not get iced tomorrow night against Subzero, a game that is building up to be a rivalry and a half.

The brotherly love has turned bitter in the Minklewicz household as brothers Mike and Steve will face off against each other for the first time this season. Mike, however, is not so worried about the sourness, "[Steve]'s been talking smack but at the end of the game, THIS GUY (points thumbs at himself), will come out on top! Anyways, I drink more milk that he can ever imagine!"

Shockers, on the other hand, received some bad news as play maker, Carlo Varano, might be out for the rest of the season. Not a lot of details were released but Francois Hamelin did say this in a statement:

"Carlo is going through some tough times and needs to step away from hockey to take care of his family. Our thoughts are with him and the members of his family and wish him the best of luck."

The Shockers have stated that there will be no replacement called up for Varano in case he decides to return but in any case, the forward lines are full for the moment.

The game plan for the Shockers is simple: Finish! They need to capitalize on the chances they get and continue to play for the whole 60 minutes. In the last game against Mobilart, they let down their guard for a minute and Mobilart scored, so they need to make sure this doesn't happen against a more dangerous team.