Nudity Required, No Pay.

The Bunny Hop

2012-01-23T15:54:00.004-05:00

You know how it goes... one hope forward, two hops back (or something - no need to quibble over specifics). Gabby has been up to her eyeballs in work. Good work! She gets to keep her clothes on and act at the same time. It's been wonderful. But in the meantime she's been a little slow with the new ads. Please forgive.

Instead of something frighteningly awful, here's something frighteningly awesome! Help support live theater, people. You love it and it loves you.

Smooches,
Gabs

...

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T11:17:00.006-05:00

Dearest Readers,

Gabby has been so very busy cookie baking, toy making, and cocktail shaking! Once again, this bloggy woggy has been neglected. So sorry!

For the new year I resolve to work hard to look for things that tickle our fancies... or that just make us roll our eyes in disgust. Looking forward to more naked delights in 2012!

Kiss kiss,
Gabs

...

'War Stck' Provided; Own Limo A Plus.

2011-12-08T15:30:00.007-05:00

It was brrrrchilly in the city this morning. But luckily, I turned on my computer to find this steaming little gem to warm up to. If the formatting is whack, it's because they didn't use ANY spaces. Gabby started to go through and add spaces, but this things is just so damn long. And, yes, to the question of nudity, they answered "Yes" (but of course there's no mention of that in the actual ad). C'est la vie. Enjoy!

FANATIKAL IS A NO-PAY,NON-UNION 91 MIN. HD FEATURE MOVIE SEEKING:

(IMPORTANT:NEED 6 BOYS AGED FROM 4(1 PART) TO 10-15,8 KIDS/AGES TYPES EXPLAINED BELOW.(ALL CHILDREN MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY PARENT OR GUARDIAN!/NO EXCEPTIONS!)

I REPEAT THERE IS no pay,NO PAY (trust me, I believe you),BUT OPPORTUNITY.MOVIE TO BE ENTERED INTO TOP FILM FESTIVALS,INTERNET EXPOSURE AND COMIC CONVENTIONS.(MEALS,TRANSPORTATION AND COPY OF DVD FOR SPEAKING PARTS ONLY.(ACTORS CAST WILL ALSO BE IMMORTALIZED IN UPCOMING COMIC GRAPHIC NOVEL!),AND BE INVITED TO PREMIERE! (I sure hope you get invited to the premiere of the movie you acted in.)

LUNA:(LATINA FROM ECUADOR)BEAUTIFUL, ATTRRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, SENSUAL,SARCASTIC,SPIRITED, 5'1"-5'7,115-120 LBS., A NANNY WHO IS MARRIED TO MILES REDDING.BELIEVES IN ANGELS AND UNIVERSAL LAWS OF ATTRACTION.

THORN:(WHITE) 5-10-6'2",160-190 LBS.,DARK -ROCKER HAIR,CHARISMATIC LEADER OF VAMPIRE GOTHS,THREATENING,GETS WHAT HE WANTS,EDITOR OF NIHILIST COMICS WHO WANTS MILES REDIING AT ALL COSTS.

COBY:(WHITE) BOY OF 10-15, BLOND/BROWN HAIR, SKINNY, RIDES BICYCLE, HOPES TO WRITE COMICS. IDOLIZES MILES'S "MYSTERIOUS WOODSMAN" GRAPHIC. BECOMES CYNICAL PUNK AFTER MILES LEAVES FAVORITE BOOK.

MOSHER:(WHITE) AN OBSESSED , AMBITIOUS WRITER FAN OF MILES, UNPREDICTABLE,ECCENTRIC,5'4"-5'10",DARK HAIR,160-200 LBS., MANIPULATIVE, INTELLIGENT, EXPLOSIVE, NEEDS MILES TO GIVE A BLURB ON HIS BOOK TO VALIDATE HIS WORTH.

WAYNE:(WHITE) MOSHER'S FRIEND, ANOTHER DREAMER/WRITER/FAN OF MILES. ALSO EXPLOSIVE,COMPETITIVE WITH MOSHER.

THE MYSTERIOUS WOODSMAN:(WHITE) 25-40, 6'4"-6'10", 200+, ATHLETIC, LEAN, MUSCULAR, HANDSOME, CHESTNUT HAIR, MOVEMENT OR MARTIAL ARTS, ACROBATICS, ABLE TO WIELD WAR-STICK WITH CONVICTION(WILL BE PROVIDED)

MRS.WYNN:(COBY'S MOM)WHITE,33-40,CONTROLLING OF COBY,WEARS THE PANTS,FEELS SHE DOESN'T KNOW HER SON'S CHANGES.

MR. WYNN:(COBY'S DAD) EASY-GOING, DISTANT, WOULD RATHER WIFE DISCIPLINE SON. DOESN'T GET INVOLVED,DETACHED.

BILLY (WHITE) 10-15 , LEADER,ORGANIZER.

CONNER:(WHITE) , RED HAIR, 10-15, COMEDIAN-TYPE.

TOMMY:(WHITE),10-15, WISEASS.

TYRONE:(BLACK),10-15,LEADER,GANG OR JOCK TYPE,BULLY.

JOSE:(LATINO),10-15,COCKY INTIMIDATING PUNK.

MILK: (PALE WHITE),10-15, WISEASS, SARCASTIC PUNK.

MEDIA WOMAN :(OPEN) 27-40, BLOND, BROWN HAIR, SLIM ,ATTRACTIVE, CONTROVERSIAL.

PARANOID MAN:(OPEN) TO PLAY 30-45 , PARANOID FEAR-MONGER, INFLUENTIAL.

ASIAN WOMAN:50-65, HOSTESS AT CHINESE RESTAURANT. TOUGH,FEISTY, SARCASTIC, FRIENDLY.

BOOK VENDOR:(BLACK) VETERAN BOOK VENDOR,NOSY,STREETSMART,40-55.

MRS BIRMAN:(WHITE) 5'-3-5'8",130-180 LBS. MOTHER OF ARRON, WHO LUNA NANNIES FOR, WEALTHY, PHONEY,CONDESCENDING, MEAN THROUGH HER SMILE, WEARS BOTH PANTS IN MARRIAGE.

MR. BIRMAN:(WHITE) 5"7"-6"1", SOPHISTICATED, ALOOF, SMOKES,DOESN'T GET TOO INVOLVED.

2 LIMO DRIVER(S)(OPEN) BIG, ACCENT HELFUL, LOOKS LIKE PRO WRESTLER. (OWN LIMO A CASTING PLUS)

CAB DRIVER(OPEN) USE OF OWN CAB A CASTING PLUS.

SEXY CARD READER:(LATINA),SEXY, NICE FIGURE TO DOUBLE AS DANSKIN MODEL FOR COMIC ARTISTS, FLIRTATIOUS, LIKES TO PLAY GAMES WITH CUSTOMERS, SECRETLY KNOWS THORN.

SECURITY GUARD:(LATINO) ,IN GOOD SHAPE,RESPECTFUL,BUT LOVES WORK GOSSIP.

3 COPS (OPEN) TYPICAL,COLD,ATTITUDE.(PROVIDE UNIFORM A PLUS)

DIRECTOR OF COMIC CONVENTION:(WHITE),50-60,GREYISH HAIR,MED. HEIGHT,OR TALL,FLAMBOYANT,MICK JAGGER TYPE,OBNOXIOUS.

MATT:COMIC ARTIST(WHITE).ABIILITY TO DRAW A PLUS.

OLGA:(OPEN)ATTRACTIVE,ECCENTRIC,INTERESTING ARTIST/WRITER.

HAN:(ASIAN) 24-35,COCKY,INSOLENT ARTIST,DOESN'T RESPECT MILES.

JOSH:(WHITE) 24-35,DRUG ADDICTED ARTIST.

PAGE:(WHITE) 24-35,DRUG ADDICTED WRITER

DESK CLERK:(WHITE) 37-50,5'6"-6'0",180,ALL AMERICAN TYPE,COMPETENT.

NOSY OLD MAN:(WHITE) CRANKY,BITTER,SUPER NOSY.

COMIC STORE OWNER:(WHITE) ,30-38,HIPSTER.

COMICS USHER:(OPEN),28-39,BIGSHOT.

3 (WHITE) GOTH(S),LONG-HAIRED VAMPIRE TYPES,ATHLETIC,WORSHIP THORN.

PETE:(WHITE/LATINO),33-47,COMIC WRITER,RIDES MOTORCYCLE(OWN BIKE A CASTING PLUS)

BILL:(WHITE) 38-55,DARK HAIR,MILES FRIEND FROM ART SCHOOL.

5 SEXY VAMPIRE/GOTH HOOKERS (WHITE/LATINA) ,DARK HAIR,OUTRAGEOUS,SENSUAL,TATTOOS A PLUS(SOME PARTIAL,TASTEFUL NUDITY IN SEX SCENE).

PARENT WITH 3-5 YEAR OLD BOY(WHITE) FOR 2 SCENES.(PARENT COULD PLAY ONE OF THE TWO PARENT COUPLES)

PARENT#3:(WHITE) PARENT OF BOY AGED 7-13.(PARENT WHO HAS SON THIS AGE CAN HAVE PART)

2 BOUNCERS:BRAWNY,PRO WRESTLER ,TATTOOED,ROCKER-TYPES.

3 FANBOYS IN MENS ROOM.(BLACK/WHITE) YOUNG,HIP GEEKY-COLLECTORS.

TECHNICIANS:

ALSO SEEKING: 1ST ASSISTANT DIRECTOR/CINEMATOGRAPHER.PERSON INTERESTED NEEDS TO PROVIDE REEL OF WORK AND KNOWS HOW TO LIGHT A SET PROFESSIONALLY.

SOUND PERSON/MIXER:(EXPERIENCE NECESSARY)OWN EQUIPMENT A CASTING PLUS.

ALSO:MAKEUP WOMAN, PEOPLE WITH ORIGINAL COSTUMES(UN-COPYRITTEN), INDEPENDENT COMICBOOK ARTISTS(NON-COPYRITTEN), UN-COPYRITTEN ORIGINAL,VERSATILE MUSIC COMPOSERS(PLEASE EMAIL MP 3'S FOR CONSIDERATION), COSTUME DESIGNER, SIGN MAKERS, COMPUTER GRAPHIC DESIGNERS, SET DESIGNERS, ACTORS WITH USE OF EITHER A HOUSE/HOUSES AND/OR APARTMENT IN NYC ,QUEENS,BROOKLYN IN EXCHANGE FOR ONE OF THE BELOW PARTS(ESPECIALLY PARENT PARTS,BUT NOT NECESSARY). WHICH MAY TAKE 1-3 DAYS(WEEKENDS).

ALSO NEED ONE DOG TRAINER/OWNER OF DOG, GERMAN SHEPARD, DOBERMAN, PITBULL, ROTWEILLER.

ALSO: NEEDS 30-50 EXTRAS.(WILL HAVE CLOSEUPS). ASSORTED,INTERESTING TYPES, FREAKS(QUICK SHOOT).

ALL SPEAKING PARTS ARE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. WE WILL CONTACT YOU AFTER RECEIVING HEADSHOT OR REELS. ACTORS NEED FULL AVAILABILTY FOR NEXT 4 MONTHS. SHOOTING ON WEEKENDS(SATURDAYS), SOME WEEKDAYS.

AUDITIONS/INTERVIEWS AT XXXXX STUDIOS

FROM 12:00 P.M. TO 4:00 P.M. ON SATURDAY DECEMBER 17TH,2011.

LOCATED AT :XXXXX STREET,14TH FLR.,NY NY 10018

Oh yes, and one more thing: STOP YELLING AT ME!
...

It All Makes Sense Now

2011-11-16T10:16:00.002-05:00

'BEINGS WANT TO BE JAGGED'

Joe XXXXX (prod.) is casting Beings Want to Be Jagged, an HDV short film. Synopsis: "An independent filmmaker's coma dream is a parallel world where he's a gangster and meets a woman who tells him that he has amnesia, and that he must remember he is the antichrist and begin his work." The film will stream on IMDb.com. Shoots in 2012 in NY/NJ.

Seeking—Lili: female, comes off reckless but is not at all what she seems, full nudity required for love scene; Janet: female, messed herself up with drugs and got clean, full of stories, the strongest person in this story; G: male, "comin' straight outta Brooklyn, baldhead from the old school, born to rule with more class than Billy Dee"; Maurice: male, heartbroken detective, tears in the morning, smokes pot to escape; Stephanie: female, if the world were the way she experiences it we wouldn't have to lock our doors.

Email pix & résumés to XXXXX.com. Submission deadline is Dec. 18, 2011. For more info, visit XXXXX.com. Deferred pay, plus meals and travel expenses provided. SAG Short Film Agreement.

Dude. Totally.
...

May-December NR/NP

2011-11-15T08:08:00.000-05:00

ROCKAWAY

Student Film NON-UNION
NYU Graduate Thesis Short Film Seeking SAG and Non-SAG Actors
NO PAY - Meals, transportation, and copy of final film provided.
Melanie XXXXX, Writer/Director/Producer
Jordan XXXXX, Director of Photography
Casting Director: Melanie XXXXX
Interview Dates: By Appointment
Only Shoot Date: November 15, 2010
Location: Rockaway, Queens, NY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: 347-XXX-XXXX

A narrative short film exploring the transition from unprotected childhood to adulthood. An impoverished but headstrong teenager embarks on a potentially self-destructive path when she attempts to sell sexual favors to support herself in Rockaway, Queens, NY.

SEEKING: [ TERESA ] A petite powerhouse with delicate features. Teresa had escaped to live with her grandmother within the past couple of years after being sexually abused by her stepfather unbeknownst to her mother. Her grandmother has just died and she now faces the struggle of supporting herself while grieving a great loss. (Female, Caucasian, 17 in appearance, partial nudity required, sexual situations. MUST BE 18+.) [ DONOVAN ] Local deli store worker. He is in love with Teresa but their age gap and her unpredictable behavior has interfered with him having the nerve to openly express it. His affection runs deep for her but Teresa takes advantage of his good heart when desperation sets in. (Male, Caucasian or Mixed ethnicity, 20s) [ MITCH ] A lonely bar owner and divorcee, he becomes the object of Teresa's misguided efforts to raise money in exchange for sex. His natural charm and honesty is refreshing. (Male, Caucasian, Irish/Italian preferred, 30s to 40s, partial nudity required, sexual situations) [ CARL ] Teresa’s stepfather who had a sexual relationship with her without her mother’s knowledge. He has offered Teresa money hoping she will remain silent about their secret and guilt.(Male, Caucasian, 30s to 40s) [ MIKE ] A local, privileged delinquent. He spends his time trying hard to impress his friends who are all good skateboarders. Teresa toys with him and ends up being humiliated instead. (Male, Various ethnicities, 15-17) [ FEATURED EXTRAS ] Experienced skateboarders. (Male, Caucasian, 15-17)

Ok, I get it. It happens. And I'm sure it's a gripping story: young girls prostituting themselves. Such a shame. I just always, always question a student production requiring nudity with sexual situations. Especially for no pay. And with a young woman and older man. Eek.
......

Bringing New Meaning To The Old Barber's Pole...

2011-11-01T14:28:00.012-04:00

Bikini Barbers N.J
Reality TV, No Union Affiliation
Union Status: No Union Affiliation
Rate: Chance to be on a network reality show, free exposure and chance of recurring role, and free haircut or massage, depending on story line..

Submissions Due By N/A

Shoot/Performance Dates Note: The shooting will be done in the shop in N.J There will be partial NUDITY involved with the Hot Girl Customer role.

Submission Due By Note: a.s.a.p

Synopsis: The show is a new hit on network television and will be airing in February, its reality show based on a barber shop in N.j We are casting characters to play customers in the shop for specific story lines as well as daily customers. We are also looking for recurring roles and clients and possible female barbers. The barbers all wear bikinis and are licensed barbers and are supper hot.. Its a fun new way to get a haircut.. ("Can you take a little off the top? Nooo! I mean my HAIR, you silly, sexy exhibitionist!")

Requesting Submissions From Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Vermont,New Jersey, New York, Puerto Rico,Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Washington DC, West Virginia,Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee,Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio, Wisconsin,Arkansas, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas,Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska

Project Notes: The shop is in XXXXX, NJ XXXXX and we start shooting the second episode next week,, Do NOT CALL THE SHOP YOU WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED!! Thanks

Audition Note: No auditions casting straight from casting networks... (Best idea ever.)

Role: submit HOT GIRL CUSTOMER / No Union Affiliation / Guest-Star / Female / Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic / 18-35
HOT GIRL COMES IN FOR A JOB INTERVIEW AND SHOWS HER BREASTS FOR A JOB , AND WEARS BIKINI BOTTOM.
Wardrobe: BIKINI
Rate: some pay (God, I hope so. This sounds awful.)
Nudity Situations: OWNER ASKS WOMAN TO SHOW HER BREASTS DURING THE JOB INTERVIEW. (I'd think this would be illegal. Like asking a candidate's age or marital status. So to document this harassment on-camera seems... like a poor choice. But I guess this whole thing is just one bad idea after another....)

I would think that a lady who took the time to get licensed as a stylist probably thought she wouldn't have to get half-naked/on the pole... no?

Well, let's see... what other jobs can women do naked/half-naked? We already have chefs in bikinis, carwash workers in bikinis, comedians in bikinis, and completely naked travel correspondents and TV news hosts. There's a lesson to be learned here, and that is: for some disturbing reason, if you put a professional woman on camera, she damn well better be mostly naked, because that's where her value lies.

Gabby cranky... Gabby very, very cranky... but begrudgingly welcomes the new hall of shame category: "Bikinis are the New Black." So sad.

(Side note: EW, on the history of the barber's pole. Guess back in the day they did a heck of a lot more than a shampoo & a blowout.)
...

Treats & Tricks

2011-10-31T07:31:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has something fun planned. Giuseppe was just helping me hem my itty-bitty sexy Hulk Hogan dress.

What's that? Hulk Hogan doesn't wear dresses? Think again, dear friends. And remember - EVERYTHING can be sexy!

Anyway, while I have to hold still so I don't get pricked by anything sharp, I thought I'd drop my readers a little Halloween hello! Gabby is on the hunt for whatever crazy/obnoxious/unbelievable casting notices you can find. We will of course credit you here. Consider that I'm knocking on your door, sweetly chirping "Trick or treat!" You can drop whatever craziness you can find in my little pumpkin sack and we'll have a laugh.

In the meantime, don't forget to check out some old spooky-but-goodies in "Oh, The Horror!"

Toodles,
Gabsxxx

(You're welcome!)
...

Seeking Free Thinkers Who Are Into Free Nudity

2011-10-24T15:53:00.000-04:00

Asian F model needed for horror vid (nj/nyc)
Date: 2011-10-02, 4:40PM EDT
Reply to:XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Need asian model for gothic/horror/R-rated music video. Shooting a gory, risque music video that needs a star. Dark subject matter. Some nudity may be involved. Location near Hoboken PATH. Not much pay available but looking for someone who can contribute for the experience (Contribute? Contribute what? Money or boobs? Or both???) (resume and promotion a sure fire thing). Please be a creative free thinker who loves horror movies. Please send head shot, credentials and contact info if interested. Thank you!!!!!!! Location: nj/nyc it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Compensation: no pay (True, that would be "not much.")

Who isn't a free thinker, really? Seriously. I think we all know by now that requesting "open minds" or "free thinkers" is basically code for "Please don't question our questionable taste. Just take your clothes off." ...
...

An Endless Casting Notice

2011-10-17T14:31:00.003-04:00

An Endless Earth / Actors (Chicago, Illinois, United States)
Date & Time: 11/03/2011 09:00 AM
Deadline: Nov 03 2011 12:00 AM
Company Name: Broadcasting Films
Type: Film
Director: Michael XXXXX.

An Endless Earth is a multi-layered narrative set in a post-apocalyptic Chicago three years into the future. (I guess the apocalypse happens fast, then.) An alien occupation and parasitic virus has depleted 90% of the world’s population. The story follows five (5) main characters, and ten (10) supporting characters through the struggles of day-to-day survival in this newfound wasteland, as well as the interactions on a personal and ambient level that occur between each story, with characters carrying over into additional “chapters” and affecting the final outcome of the individual survivor. (Sounds like someone just got a dictionary for their birthday.)

Physical Auditions (as opposed to non-physical auditions?):
November 2nd, 2011 - XXXXX, Chicago IL 60605 ROOM 515
November 3rd, 2011 - XXXXX, Chicago IL 60605 ROOM 513
TIME: 5PM-9PM

'Extras' Form: (Please Print & bring to audition)
http:///XXXXX
Auditions Form (Please print & bring to audition):
http:///XXXXX

An Endless Earth is an INDIE-STUDENT film being produced majorly by students at Columbia College in Chicago. Unless a special case is presented, actors will -not- be paid, and work will be done for portfolio or experience.

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:25-30
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
Lost in innocent hallucinations of community, the Schizophrenic (mid-to-late 20s) envisions and fabricates family and friends to keep him company in the lonely wasteland. When he comes across a corpse though, he breaks down while conversing with it and admits his madness. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:Any
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Hunter (unknown) is a commander in the invading army. Although, during a reconnaissance mission, his craft is shot down and he is left behind enemy lines. He is robotic, machine-like, with little emotion and no reactivity; the Hunter has no dialogue. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:25-30
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Soldier (mid-to-late 20s) is caring, kind, and compassionate in a world with no room for these very character traits. His traits resemble that of a sympathetic victim of situation. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Female
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:18-24
Nudity?:Nudity
Character Description:
The Sociopath (early-to-mid 20s) is manipulative, unpredictable, and physically beautiful. Even in a world where makeup has disappeared, her natural beauty still puts her a step ahead of the game. She is sly, cunning, and considered a villainous survivor. (*Warning*: Due to the nature of the sociopath, nudity and/or implied nudity is written into the character. Although, this isn't without saying the crew will not reconsider a rewrite per actor) Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:11-14
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Kid (9-13) is a conventional survivor; he is mature, put together, and conditioned to the harsh conditions of the wasteland. His character shows strong contrast between a child and adult, a difference that is culturally created. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:51-60
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Drifter (50s) is a man burdened with the loss of his family, as well as the removal of society. He never wastes an unneeded breath, saying only what has to be said. He, while paralyzed over his losses, has accepted the past and is trying to move on. The Drifter can be compared as the wasteland's version of a typical Western cowboy or sheriff. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Female
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:18-24
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
A fragile and broken young woman, the Rape Victim (early 20s) (oh, great... another no-budget, futuristic student film with nudity AND a rape victim. Maybe instead this should be called 'An Endless Cliche'?) takes on the personality of the Drifter's daughter upon their meeting. She is vengeful for past actions done to her, although terrified to act on them or pursue revenge. Side 1 - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:31-40
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Scientist (late-30s or early 40s) is methodical, a survivor by choice, living a life of medical solitude in order to study the parasitic sickness. His own life is not important, only that of finding a cure. His work is his obsession, what he lives and breathes for, and its outcome affects him on a deeper level than simply failure. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:41-50
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The ultimate villain of the story, the Sheriff (50s) is a survivor suffering from a severe case of psychosis, believed to have come on far before the invasion. He believes himself to be a lawman, donning a 19th century sheriffâ€™s outfit. He is completely enveloped in his lunacy; his lies have become reality. Side 1 - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Caucasian
Age:51-60
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
Alluded to be a Catholic priest in another lifetime, the Priest (50s-60s) has lost all remnants of his sanity and turned to mythical and fictionalized demonic god who speaks into his mind directly. He, like 'The Nazi', is so far into the falsified delusions of grandeur that he believes himself to be a prophet and is willing to do whatever he thinks will please this artificial god. Side 1 - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Female
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:25-30
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Soldier (mid-to-late 20s or early 30s) is an ex-marine, hardened by a life of war and left to raise her only child as a single mother. When she is separated from her child during the invasion, she lives for one purpose and only one purpose: to find him. She is determined, impulsive, and a conventional survivor. Side - http:///XXXXX

Gender:Male
Ethnicity:Any Ethnicity
Age:51-60
Nudity?:No
Character Description:
The Conspirator (50s-60s) is a war veteran plagued with visions of conspiracy involving the government's association with the invasion and the sickness, as well as an obsession with the 'Russian involvement'. He is believed to be a Vietnam Veteran, but such is never mentioned directly. Side - http:///XXXXX
...

Innovative Or Creepy?

2011-10-10T16:21:00.005-04:00

This isn't your average "Lost Dog" poster, or flyer advertising guitar lessons, people - this is a rare opportunity!

...

Let's Just Cut To The Chase...

2011-10-02T23:39:00.007-04:00

BATTLE SEX (Yesss!)
Student Film
NYU Graduate Thesis Project
SAG Student Agreement available
Also seeking NON-UNION
NO PAY
copy, credit, and meals provided

Producer/Director: Isaac XXXXX
Casting Director: Isaac XXXXX
Interview Dates: September 1st - October 1st
Callback Dates: September 13th - October 1st
Shoot/Start Date: Late October / Early November
Location: New York

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY BY 9/25 TEL: 917-XXX-XXXX

There is nudity in this project.

NOTE: IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH SUBMISSION.

Role:

[ LIEV ]
Late 20s to late 30s. A great soldier with a battle weary demeanor. He has lost too many people close to him and carries those scars both outside and within himself. Partial nudity required.

[ ZOE ]
20-30s. An ace pilot and lethal killing machine. She is responsible for turning the war in her people's favor. She's an adept killer who must rely on her sworn enemy to survive on the planet. Partial nudity required.

[ BROTHER JULIUS ]
40-50s, black, an elderly soldier and veteran of many wars. He's a military politician, calculating, and will do anything and sacrifice anyone to achieve his goals.

[ BROTHER CALLUS ]
60s, a battle cleric. His job is to whip the soldiers into a frenzy with fiery speeches before sending them to their deaths. He's the best at it.

[ TASHA ]
20-30s, black, Zoe's wing-woman in battle and best friend.

[ HOWLERS ]
(Extras, open to all ages, races, and genders) A cross between zombies and lepers, they are the survivors of nuclear blasts on what is left of Earth. They hunt in packs.

[ FIGHTER PILOTS ]
(Extras, open to all ages, races, and genders)

STORY LINE: In a post-apocalyptic future, man and woman are sworn enemies engaged in a space battle to destroy each other. When Liev and Zoe crash land on Earth they must rely on each other to survive, and in the process learn to love that which they hate, each other. (Love it!)

Nothing makes me feel more secure as an actor, than a student film set in the post-apocalyptic future (something that, say, might require a budget to pull off well), that requires nudity. For no pay. Except for maybe one with a violent sexual title.
...

Meet Mr. Cheapy McCheapington:

2011-08-22T01:33:00.000-04:00

Talented? Work from home. (Brooklyn )

Date: 2011-08-21, 2:56PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Seeking one person who can work from their home and meet in their home to assist an executive:

Flexible hours..excellent side work for the right person
Please reply with a quick description and recent photo.

* Location: Brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $20 per hour

My momma didn't raise no fool. You want me to "work" from my home and "meet" with you there... for $20/hr? Are you insane? Ladies - if you want a sugar daddy that's fine, but come on. You can get more than this through a temp agency - and you probably won't get herpes.

And yes, this item was listed on CL under "talent gigs."
...

If Boobs Could Kill

2011-08-16T20:07:00.011-04:00

Hello! I'm giving a special cocktail-soaked shout-out to a group of lovely readers in our fair capital city, Washington DC! How are you? When a special friend (doesn't she look fab on her tiny skirted bathing suit?) told me you have been faithfully reading, I instantly sobered up thinking: "Poor dears! Gabby has been sidetracked with beach parties, and patio parties, and birthday parties..." But she hasn't forgot about you! Not one bit. So here's something to chew on (nothing fancy - just some good, old-fashioned get-naked-for-a-handshake good times) while I go make another pitcher of sangria, and have Giuseppe help dust the sand off my body. Cheers!

xxxooo
Gabs

* * * * *

KIM JONG KILL (Love it.)
Student Film
Columbia University Film MFA short film
NON-UNION
NO PAY

Director: Jim XXXXX
Producer: Ben XXXXX
Co-Producer: Jessica XXXXX
Casting Director: Jessica XXXXX
Interview Dates: March 27, 2011
Shoot Dates: May 13 - 16, 2011
Location: New York, NY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: 347-XXX-XXXX

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT!

[ SUN ]
early 20s, Asian female, soft spoken, extremely sweet, but with the capacity to be a deadly killer. When Kim Jong Il falls into her lap she will do whatever it takes to kill him. Some nudity required.

[ SUMMER ]
20s, female, any ethnicity, beautiful, with a wild side. Loves to party and not to do what she’s told. She works as an exotic dancer because she enjoys the thrill of teasing men and NOT giving them what they want. Some nudity required.

[ CHIN-HWA ]
20s, 30s, or 40s, Asian male, tough guy. Always wears sunglasses so no one can ever see where he’s looking. If he’s speaking to you consider your life over.

It's OK, you guys. They're getting naked for a good cause - assassination. Nudity & murder are like the chocolate & peanut butter of the film world. Mmmm... so good. Which reminds me... Giuseppe...?

There you are.

OMG Is Right.

2011-06-13T04:19:00.001-04:00

Casting New pilot with Major studio
(Brooklyn) Date: 2011-06-03, 12:47PM EDT
Reply to:XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

OMG WILD' Cinema World Studios, a facility whose recent network television and motion picture clients include Make Me a Supermodel and The Beaver, is casting OMG Wild, a television sizzle-reel pilot. Maurice XXXXX & Mark XXXXX, exec. prods.; Hezues R., dir.; Charles XXXXX, prod. Shooting begins july 1st , need females 18-28 5,5-6,1 very attracyive, (What?) very attractive, (Oh. Thanks for clarifying. You do realize computers allow you to delete mistakes, right?) must prepare a monologue and prepare for improv..... must come dressed like shes going out to a party and bring a bathing suit. She must look nice in a bathing suit as one of the scenes takes place in a jaccuzzi (Computers also come with spellc check.)...we will be taking pictures and video during audition.

Come to Cinema World Studios Brooklyn ny 11222 Saturday June 4th from 6-9 pm say JT Talent sent you (He's back! And as classy as ever. I should have recognized him from the very first typo...)

*Location: Brooklyn
*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests *Compensation: no pay
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"My,This Important Wine Is Delicious!"

2011-06-06T04:08:00.000-04:00

Important Italian Wine Video Commercial (Upper East Side)
Date: 2011-06-03, 4:27PM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for actors 21-60 years old, who are comfortable shooting on a short group scene ('Shooting on'?) dancing on the street. Please send headshot and resume ASAP.
Shoot Friday, June 10th. at 10,30am in the Upper East Side.

The participation is unpaid as we are a small production, but we will give credits and guarantee online presence and social media promotion on Youtube, Vimeo and on the main brand's website.

*Location: Upper East Side
*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
*Compensation: no pay
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Advanced Graduate Film In Awful Stereotypes 401

2011-05-30T10:44:00.003-04:00

WISH GRANTED
Student Film
SAG

USC Advanced Graduate Student Project

Director: Craig XXXXX
Casting Director: Craig XXXXX
Interview Dates: 4/6, 4/8
Rehearsal: April 10, April 13
In-Class exercise: April 14
Shoot/Start Date: April 17
Pay Rate: Meal, Copy, Credit
Location: Los Angeles

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.
TEL: (646) XXX-XXXX

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

[ JEANIE ]
early-20's , F, CAUCASIAN -- The world's most beautiful & alluring stripper. (And how do we figure that, exactly?) NUDITY REQUIRED.

[ DOUG ]
mid-20's, M, CAUCASIAN -- Average looking guy with great comic timing.

[ HOPPER ]
mid-20's, M, CAUCASIAN -- Overweight hipster with great comic timing.

[ OLD HAG ]
40's (Hm. 40s is the beginning of 'old hag' territory? My life just got suckier.) to 80's, F, CAUCASIAN -- Unattractive hag who Jeanie transforms into. An 'evil witch'-type

[ PIMP ]
30-50, M, CAUCASIAN -- Bald, burly British pimp from the 1600's. Must be able to speak with AUTHENTIC Cockney accent.

Synopsis -- When the world's most beautiful stripper escorts two friends into the champagne room, the world changes for them -- literally.

Yes - it transforms into a world where only two types of women exist: those who are f*ckable and those who are old/ugly and therefore unworthy of respect (but men can of course can be average and funny). In other words: Hollywood!
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Dirty Deeds

2011-05-26T16:45:00.008-04:00

You might be able to get them done dirt cheap, but payback's a bitch.

Just to follow up on NR/NP's post about the Joseph brooks scandal - you should know that he will no longer stand trial for his alleged (ugh - without a trial they will always remain 'alleged' [although as an NYC jury just made abundantly clear, it's still better than an acquittal]) sexual assaults since he recently took his own life. However, his partner-in-crime, Shawni Lucier, has just pled guilty to criminal facilitation.

You can read Yahoo!'s AP article here.

Joseph Brooks was charged with multiple counts of sexual assualt when he and his assistant lured aspiring actresses to Mr. Brooks' New York City apartment with promises of aiding their careers. Upon arrival, he would ply the young, unchaperoned women with alcohol and make unwanted sexual advances.

Thankfully, Mr. Lucier had the decency to own up after the fact, at least.

Be careful out there...
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Boob-AR

2011-05-23T10:46:00.002-04:00

LAST METRO COMPANY PRESENTS FUBAR BY KARL XXXXX
Non-Union Theatre
V/T: Fake Gallery

Directed by Justin XXXXX
Produced by Frank XXXXX and Christine XXXXX
Casting Director: Justin XXXXX
Interview Date: Thursday, May 5
Callback Date: Friday, May 6
Shoot/Start Date: 5 weekends in July Fridays and Saturdays
Production Dates: July 1,2,8,9,15,16,22,23,29,30
Pay Rate: No Pay
Location: Fake Gallery/ East Hollywood

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY
TEL: 310-XXX-XXXX

*THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

No nudity required at audition or call back.

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

About Last Metro:
Founding members Frank XXXXX, Lovelle XXXXX and Christine XXXXX started Last Metro Company as a means to evolve as artists, exploring ways to bring a fresh perspective to plays both contemporary and classic. Equally important is carrying on the tradition of live theatre in a world where communication is faster but less personal. With over ten years of combined education at South Coast Repertory, HB Studio, Primary Stages, American Academy of Dramatic Arts and California State University at Fullerton, the founding members of Last Metro Company seek to create a community of theatre artists who are trained yet not confined, who seek personal growth and connection with others. www.lastmetrocompany.com
www.facebook.com/thelastmetrocompany

[ MARY ]
Mid thirties, any ethnicity. Doctor. Carries the tension of someone who grew up in another's shadow. Her mother recently took her own life, so the shadow's gone. But Mary is still tense.

[ DAVID ]
Early thirties, any ethnicity. Mary's husband. VP at a nameless software firm. Had a big exciting kick-ass plan about how this was all supposed to work. This plan should be starting any day now.

[ RICHARD ]
Mid Thirties, any ethnicity. Charismatic, intelligent, drug-dealer. David's old friend. Sports the dress and mannerism of a college professor.

[ SYLVIA ]
Late twenties, any ethnicity. Beautiful San Francisco native. Outgoing and adventurous. Trying to have the biggest life possible. (Partial Nudity required)

[ D.C. ]
Late thirties, any ethnicity. Boxer. Old school. Lives in a different San Francisco from the others.

Synopsis: Mary and David, living amidst the boxes her abused mother left behind, unpacking this small San Francisco apartment while outside, people self-actualize like crazy. (What?) When Mary herself is the victim of an unprovoked act of violence, it leads the two of them down different paths of addiction and realization, one to the violence itself, one to the abuse of cat tranquilizers. (That's a new one.) Meanwhile, Richard is a benevolent drug dealer working on his book while Sylvia wants to use the internet to double her life. ('Double her life'? As in from a D to a DD?) Four people trying to recognize the people they have become in a time that's totally F.U.B.A.R. (Sounds it.)

It always bothers me when people try so hard to make something sound a certain way - especially when they do it in a way that makes very little sense. No one is saying you have to be a brilliant copy editor - you don't have to be. All you have to do is stick to the facts: "A married couple encounter difficulties after the suicide of the wife's mother," or somesuch. Easy-peasy. No self-actualizing-recognition-both-inside-and-out involved.
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Good News & Bad News

2011-05-15T10:05:00.005-04:00

As NR/NP quickly approaches another benchmark - 5,000 hits since the statistics page began last summer (I know, it's a small victory, but Gabby likes to celebrate. So let's pop a bottle!) - I thought I'd share some happy and not so happy news.

Yay!

Years ago, when Gabby first started collecting terrible casting notices, they were everywhere! Slapping us in our pretty little faces, and making us throw up our hands in frustrated disgust. But lately these notices seem hard to come by. Which is bad for business on this end, but hopefully good news that the tide might sloooooowwllllly be turning in favor of being more fair to the fairer sex. (Fingers crossed!) Now, Gabby isn't against nudity - just exploitation. If you're going to ask a woman to get naked on the job, you gotta treat her right. Am I right?

Boo.

Now for the bad news. Women being mis/under-represented in film is still a chronic and systemic problem. If you haven't heard of the Bechdel Test - check it out. All a film has to do to pass this brilliant little test is meet 3 simple requirements:

It has to have at least two women in it,
Who talk to each other,
About something besides a man.

Sound simple? Think again...

I have to give a shout out to Feministfrequency.com for doing some excellent work. Mwah! Love it.
...

Meanwhile, Back In...

2011-05-09T08:45:00.000-04:00

PUSSY VALLEY (Niiiiice. I see where this is going...)
Non-Union Theatre
v/t: LARK PLAY DEVELOPMENT CENTER, NYC (Theatre space TBA)
DEVELOPMENTAL WORKSHOP
NON-UNION
Pay Rate: $500 flat

Playwright: Katori XXXXX
Director: Patricia XXXXX
Casting Director: Travis XXXXX
Audition Dates: May 8, 2011; May 9, 2011
Callback Dates: May 9, 2011
1st Rehearsal: May 23, 2011
Performance (Invited): June 3, 2011 only (Only 1 performance and it's invited only?)
Location: NYC

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: XXX-XXX-XXXX X5070

There is nudity in this project.

NOTE: This is a developmental workshop and not a fully staged production. WE ARE LOOKING FOR POLE DANCERS WHO CAN ACT OR ACTORS WHO HAVE POLE DANCING EXPERIENCE. (Who isn't?)

PLAY SYNOPSIS: Down in the Dirty South a quartet women are working hard for their money at the Pink Pony shake joint. AUTUMN NIGHT, MERCEDES, GET 'EM GIDGET, and MISS MISSISSIPPI all have dreams of taking their cash and flying far away from their gilded cage (their "cage" is "gilded"? At a strip joint?), but the current recession is hitting the Mississippi Delta hard and a group of right wing Christians may run them out of town. What will happen to these women whose only option is to shake it to survive? Despite the town's shrinking pockets and anonymous bomb threats, these women fight to take pole dancing to another level. To them pole dancing isn't just about exotic dancing. Pole dancing is an art form, the art of seduction, the art of war...

ROLES:

[ AUTUMN NIGHT ]
going through a quarter life crisis, an elementary school teacher who wants to explore her sexuality. While a little prudish, she's desperate to prove to herself and others that she has what it takes to own the Pink Pony pole dance world.

[ MERCEDES ]
a PK, Preacher's Kid, on the verge of retiring. A fan of reading National Geographic, her intelligence is only matched by her ferocious attitude and her incredible knowledge of the pole dance game. Though she tries to lock it inside a metal box, her gentle heart, at times, explodes out. (That is a terrible metaphor. Ew.)

[ GET 'EM GIDGET ]
the white girl, a 2nd generation pole dancer, has 'love' and 'pain' tattooed across her knuckles. The top white girl in a black establishment, Gidget has no trouble running with the best of them. Even if she's reigning queen of the Pink Pony, she's still retaining her southern ol' Miss charm.

[ MISS MISSISSIPPI ]
three children and a man that beats her, pole dancing isn't a choice, it's the only choice. (I think you mean option - it's not a choice, it's the only option...) You gotta be tough as nails to do what Miss Mississippi do and she does it well. Desperate to get out of the pole dancing game and on to bigger and better things, she'll do anything.

AUDITION NOTE: AUDITIONS WILL BE HELD AT NYLA'S STUDIO OF HARLEM. PLEASE BE PREPARED TO PRESENT A 2-5 MINUTE MONOLOGUE, A 2-5 MINUTE POLE DANCE ROUTINE, AND READ AN AUDITION SIDE. WHILE THERE IS NUDITY IN THE PROJECT, NO NUDITY WILL BE REQUIRED AT THE AUDITIONS.

A 2-5 minute monologue AND pole dance routine? Yowser.

This could be fun though. Obviously the recession has driven play producers to cleverly mix blatant sexual exploitation with "art." I wish them luck.
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"Hey, Buddy - The News Is Up HERE."

2011-05-02T05:17:00.002-04:00

THE NAKED HOST (Re-Release)
Webisodes
NON-UNION

Casting Director: Michael XXXXX
Shoot/Start Date: December 1, 2010
Pay Rate: $1,000.00 per episode
Location: L.A./Las Vegas

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY TEL: XXX-XXX-XXXX

*THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE SUBMIT ACTOR'S ONLINE DEMO CLIPS ALONG WITH EACH ACTOR SUBMISSION.

Major production company now casting for a multi-episode TV/Web series. This show requires that talent deliver information similarly to a news anchor and is *willing to appear on camera nude. Although the show's content and premise is completely different than www.nakednews.com, this site serves as good model for how talent will be integrated into the series. (You have to deliver information in a newsy style - naked - yet it is completely different than Naked News? I can't imagine...)

[ NAKED HOST ]
Looking for personable, funny, quick witted, and attractive women between the ages of 18 - 40. Certainly not for the timid or shy...NUDITY REQUIRED

18-40? Nice.
...

Oh The Horror! It's The Same Old Routine: Get Naked & Die (For No Pay)

2011-04-25T15:51:00.006-04:00

SLAUGHTER DAUGHTER
Feature Film
NON-UNION
NO PAY

Producer: Slaughtered Heart Productions, Lauren XXXXX, Anne XXXXX
Director: Travis XXXXX
Writer: Lauren XXXXX
Casting Director: Anne XXXXX
Interview Dates: February/March 2011
Callback Dates: March 2011
1st Rehearsal: March 2011
Shoot Dates: Late April-Early May 2011
Location: New York City

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY
TEL: (XXX) XXX-XXXX

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT!!

Slaughtered Heart Productions is casting Slaughter Daughter, a micro-budget HD feature heavily influenced by the style of 1970s Italian horror films. All characters mentioned below will be murdered during the course of the film. (Good to know.)

SEEKING:

[ PHYLLIS ]
LEAD. Late 30s-40s, Caucasian, partial nudity required, lesbian kissing required. A Marilyn Monroe type who loves living extravagantly. She's loud, boisterous, and the center of the party. She's also self-centered and can be cold and sarcastic to those closest to her.

[ REEMA ]
30s-40s, of Middle-eastern descent, has an Arabic or British accent, lesbian kissing required. The Jackie to Phyllis' Marilyn. She's calm, demure, and classy.

[ DAVID ]
early 20s, can play Middle-Eastern, full nudity required. He's a hypochondriac who's scared of dying. He has problems being confident and asserting his manhood in his female-dominated family.

[ THE MAID ]
20s-40s, ethnic, must be able to speak a foreign language. She sees all and hears all in the household. Instead of showing her own personality, she tries to blend into the wallpaper and not be noticed.

[ WILLARD ]
40-60s, stage fighting required. Willard is an arrogant billionaire CEO who loves and weds Phyllis. He likes to be in charge and is used to getting his own way.
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Featuring: An Opportunity To Feature Your Best Feature

2011-04-11T06:58:00.002-04:00

***Ladies - opportunity to be featured on new website*** (Midtown)
Date: 2011-04-05, 11:33AM EDT
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Ladies, here is an opportunity to promote yourself by getting featured on a new web site.

This is an opportunity to be featured on a website featuring the best asses around. (Please stop saying "feature.") We will be willing to attach booking info and or links to facebook, myspace, blogs/sites, and twitter.

If you have a nice ass this is your chance to show it off!!!! (Right? Because you can't show off your butt just any old time! You know, like, just by walking down the street wearing tight clothes. No siree. You need a bunch of creepy guys with a computer to manage your butt-showing-off career. That's just how it's done.)

If you are shy and are not looking to get your name out there but still are interested in being featured we will do anonymous pics. Just make sure to specify in the email that you want your information kept private. (If you're shy then why are you showing your butt online anyway? Showing one's butt online is a very un-shy thing to do.)

Photoshoots can be arranged, but a picture is necessary to get an appointment scheduled.

Respond to this post with pictures and contact info.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

No pay? Now who's an ass...
...

"I Love Painting And You Love Acting So We Should Probably Just Make Out."

2011-04-05T22:59:00.007-04:00

☞Audition: Independent film producer casting for two females (Williamsburg/Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY)
Date: 2011-04-05, 11:38AM EDT
Reply to:XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Sunday Audition for a TFV independent film : Petra is a gorgeous Russian girl who just arrived in the City and responds to an ad for a roommate placed by Susan, a painter who is street smart and has been living in the City for years with a string of broken relationships that left her skeptical about finding true love. Petra is naive with a charming Eastern European accent who decided to come to America dreaming of becoming a famous actress. When she shows up at Susan's apartment, Susan is taken back by her beauty, femininity, freshness and charm. Petra moves in and sparks fly when their passion for the arts lead them to a forbidden relationship and Susan discovers real love for the first time.("Their passion for the arts lead them to a forbidden relationship"? That is, probably - literally - the gayest thing I have ever read.) Things get complicated when Sergei, Petra's boyfriend arrives from Russia and finds out about Petra's new interest. ("Complicated"... or just plain sexxxier?) We are running on camera reading and rehearsals tomorrow Sunday from 12 noon to 9 p.m. No experience is required, will train bright beginners or amateurs with a passion for acting. No union actors. Please reply with a couple of pictures, info about you and a contact number and tell us what role you prefer to play. Address your reply to the attention of Ashley, Production Assistant, TFV production. Please include the role you choose to audition for. You can apply for both. No need to be Russian to play Petra. Compensation: credits and tape only. Great opportunity to show off your acting skills and acting passion (and breasts, I am guessing). Auditions and on-camera reading:☞ Sunday, April 10 at 7 p.m.

* Location: Williamsburg/Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Wow. They took a lot of time and effort to make this ad for what will probably just be hackneyed, soft-core lesbian porn sound so... so... so much like hackneyed, soft-core lesbian porn.

(Gabby's beginning to think she needs to add a GOGA category...)
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Nudity Required; No pay: Trawl V. Troll

2011-02-08T21:53:00.006-05:00

Seeking cast for feature ASAP (Andersonville)
Date: 2011-02-08, 4:59PM CST
Reply to: XXXXX.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

PLEASE READ ALL BEFORE REPLYING!

I’m a filmmaker currently casting for a feature film that will hopefully begin shooting in March. This film is ultra low budget but solid. The film is a Horror/Thriller with a dark comedic edge. It also has a gay theme. This should definitely be a fun and successful project with the RIGHT cast.

Plot: The film is about wicked attraction. Two young men, through a set of bizarre circumstances, become serial killers.

Lead roles sought:

Marco:
The original idea for this character was that of a good looking, dark haired, Italian, 25-35yo, who’s in the United States under shady circumstances and is pretty desperate to get back to Europe before he ends up in jail. This character is in very good physical shape (some nudity involved- nothing pornographic). A European from another country (or possibly a South American), other than Italy, may work as well. This character must have a foreign accent but speak good English. This character is a somewhat smooth hustler type who is naturally criminally minded. He has no strong morals to hold him back.

Beth:
This character is very attractive but very overbearing (think younger Karen Walker or such) 25-35yo. She attracts a lot of men with her beauty, but just as quickly repels them with her over-the-top personality (she’s basically a fag-hag who doesn’t know that she’s one).This character is secretly (or not so secretly) in love with the lead male character who continuously repels her advances to no avail. There is also some nudity for this role- nothing pornographic.

Supporting roles sought:

Mr. Hitch:
Annoying, somewhat creepy, middle aged landlord (think Buck Henry) who regularly harasses about late rent payments etc.

Detective Eniss:
Poker faced police detective, around 40, investigating a string of burglaries in the area.

Allen:
This character is the main character’s grouchy, greedy boss. 30-40 yo. He works in debt collections and his bottom line is making money.

The Massage Clients:
I need 5 middle aged men to play massage clients who are murdered. These clients are essentially married men secretly cheating on their wives and trolling (It's "trawling," people. Trolls live under bridges. Just a pet peeve of mine... [Though I see from Wikipedia that "trolling" is also a style of fishing. Hm. But "trawling" connotes casting a wide net to scrape the bottom of the water - which is just altogether seedier than "trolling." I guess both could work, but I think the former is more accurate and what most people mean when using the phrase. And thus concludes our English and fishing lesson for the day.]) for sex. Some of the clients have dialog, others not. You will have to have a great sense of humor and be able to laugh at yourself to play one of these roles. Some nudity involved- nothing pornographic.

***There is no pay for these roles but all actors will be fed. This should be a fun project to work on. I am only looking to work with actors who can COMMIT to the project. Also, you must be available for any scheduled shoot that you are in. So, leads must have flexibility of schedule. The shoot will likely be 8 days; a Thurs-Sun shoot week 1 and a Thurs-Sun shoot the following week. I am hoping for film festivals and distribution on this film. Hoping to start shooting in March, so need committed cast ASAP****

IF INTERESTED PLEASE SEND HEADSHOT AND RESUME. INCLUDE WHICH CHARACTER YOU’RE INTERESTED IN IN THE SUBJECT OF EMAIL. SERIOUS ONLY. THANK YOU!!!

* Location: Andersonville
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Gabby learned something today (but she still thinks she's right - go figure).
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