Photo Courtesy limaoscarjuliet

As the school year closes, parents often think about what’s next for their children. For many, that next step is Nursery School, 2 day Toddler classes, or Step Up Classes. This can be a nerve wracking decision as you wonder, is my child ready? How will my young child, who has never been left, cope? What should I do?

The first thing to know is that separation is a normal process that every child goes through. Children express their anxiety about being away from their parents and caregivers in many different ways. Some cry, cling, act out in class and at home, or separate well initially, and then cry a few weeks later. Adults going through separation from their children may be anxious, nervous, and even cry when they leave that very first day. Parents do not like to see their children upset, and this can often illicit responses in you, that you didn’t even know you were capable of.

Remember, this is a normal and important part of development. Children need to learn that it is alright to be away from their parents, and they are safe in other environments. Children also need to understand how to self-soothe. This is something that we work on during the time when they are infants, and keep working on throughout the child’s life. Once a child has learned to trust their teachers, and have understood that they are in a safe environment, they will begin to adjust to whatever classroom environment you have chosen for them.

This leads to the question of what class is right for my child? This is a very personal choice. No one knows your child better than you, and every child is different. As a mother of two boys who both started school at the age of two, their separation was night and day. My oldest son, Logan, cried for two months straight. I wish there had been a Step Up program for him, as I believe it would have been less traumatic for him. Step Up and 2 day Toddler classes, offered by Early Childhood, allow children to slowly separate in the classroom. The class meets two or three days a week, depending on the age of the child. Parents enter the classroom and help their children feel safe in their new environment. As the semester progresses, the teachers give advance notice when the next “Step Up” towards separation will take place.  Parents and caregivers slowly work their way out of the classroom. Though parents and caregivers remain right outside the classrooms, the children inside the classrooms begin to rely on the teachers to tend to their needs.

Kyle, my youngest child, would not have needed a slow separation. On the first day of school, he walked right in, waved good bye, and never looked back. He has always been my adventurous child, and though I was nervous from my past experience, I knew that he would be okay. This is not to say that Kyle did not show separation anxiety in his own way. He acted out a little, and even spoke about not wanting to go to school. In the end, though it was a much smoother transition and the right choice for him. Nursery school offers a learning experience for a longer period of time depending on the program you choose. It is beneficial for parents who are in need of consistent care, and is a truly valuable experience for any child whose parent feels they are ready.

After you make the choice that is right for your child, the question becomes, how do you cope with your own anxiety?  Here are some simple tips:

1. Ask! Teachers want you to be comfortable, so ask as many questions as you need to! It makes their job easier when you feel at ease!
2. Communicate! Let them know what you fears are, what’s going on with your child, and what your expectations are. If you are an open book, you’ll feel better and the teachers will have a better understanding of your child.
3. Trust! If you trust the teachers in your child’s class, so will your children! Remember you have done your research and made a wise choice.  Now, with your help, your teacher will be able to earn your child’s trust. So be positive and stay focused, that trust will soon be built.
4. Time! Remember, building trust takes time. Some children take a day, others take two months. This is a normal part of development.  Allow your child some time to adjust to their new surroundings.
5. Conference! If time has passed and your child seems inconsolable, work with your teachers to come up with a plan. If a teacher feels your child is not ready, they will let you know.
6. Plan! Remember this is as hard on you as it is on them. Have a plan for those first days of school. After your quick goodbye, plan to meet a friend, or do something that will keep you occupied. It is extremely hard to leave your child crying. So even if you plan to remain outside the classroom, bring an ipod, or something that will keep you busy. Planning ahead will help you remain calm.

Separation anxiety is something everyone goes through. Even as adults we tend to feel anxiety in new situations and when we meet new people. Children react the same way in those situations.  Understanding that separation anxiety is normal will help you meet the needs of your child.  Remember you are not alone and your child is not the only one going through this! Reach out to administrators, teachers, and other parents. They are your best source to listen, and even give some helpful tips. Remember, whether your choice is Nursery, Step Up, or Two Day Toddlers, when separation time arrives,  your child will be fine, and so will you!

Photo Courtesy limaoscarjuliet

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Here are some quick shopping tips when prices are high and the budget is low

For Infants, Babies and Toddlers:

Please remember toddlers have no concept of price and what they want! You could give them a shopping bag and they would play for hours! It does not make you any less of a parent because they own no leap frog toys! Try sticking with old fashioned toys like shape rings, wooden clocks, spinning wheels, board books, large puzzles, shape sorters, anything that has cause and effect sounds or lights!

For Preschool and School age Children:

Science experiments, Leggos, Kineks, Cars, Trucks, Planes, Barbies, dolls, are all reasonably priced. Does she really need Barbies Dream house when you can afford a cheaper doll house but place 4 barbies in it? Same with the fellas. They don’t need the super duper Monster truck for $150 dollars when you can get 40 hot wheels for  $10. Remember at the preschool age children will love whatever you give them.

As they get older children will want Nintendo DSI, IPODS, WII, PS3, cell phones,  and expensive video games. My answer to this is simple. If this is what they really want, go for it with someone else. Some parents split the cost with grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles. This way the child gets their big  gift and the people that were looking to buy them presents have helped with the cost. Another idea is to let the child know(if they are older)  that you will give them a gift card for half and they can save up their allowance by doing odd jobs to help make up the other half.  Another solution is to only buy one gift for the child and make it the big purchase. Please note that just because a child wants a gift doesn’t mean they should get it. Does an 8 year old need an Ipod Touch or  would it be better to get a child a much cheaper MP3 that  won’t hurt you so much when it gets lost or stolen! Does he need a DSi or could you find a Gameboy or a Leapster that would cost half the price? These are the questions to ask yourself.

No one is saying to deprive your children of toys this holiday season. Just keep in mind that your children’s love comes from how you treat them, not what you buy for them….happy holidays!

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• Game systems such as V Tech, Hooked on Phonics, L-MAX and leap pads by Leapster are wonderful educational gifts. They promote learning and still have a”video game appeal” that is non violent and fun. Children can learn to write, count, create art, and even do mathematics. These systems also usually provides age levels on the game boxes to help parents choose whats right for them.
• A wonderful and timeless gift are Legos or building blocks. Legos are great because they provide a sensory experience, enhance fine motor development, and most importantly utilize a child’s imagination skills. Lego’s come in all different styles now (pirate ships, dinosaurs etc) so whatever your nursery schooler is in to can be built! Building blocks are fun and allow for toddlers to understand the concept of logic and to practice patience!
• Classic board games such as Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, and Hungry Hippos can make wonderful gifts. Not only do they promote learning but they allow for parents to have an opportunity to spend quality time with their child. Whether you are playing a logic skill came such as “Memory” or working on your fine motor skills with “Ants In Your Pants,” you both will have hours of fun to look ahead to!
• Another great gift idea that is relatively inexpensive are small caged animals. No I don’t mean the fuzzy animals that poop and smell all the time. A hermit crab or a fish can provide hours of fun with minimal effort. Your child will love looking at his new sea creature and can even learn responsibility while helping to feed the new family pet. This is especially great for toddlers who may become sick frequently or have allergy issues because they are hairless pets that still need care. The great thing about buying goldfish are that even of they pass, they can be easily replaces and require little maintenance.

These ideas can really help your family have a Merry Christmas! Santa’s bag can still be full of fun items that you are certain will be safe for your toddlers and nursery school age kids!

Here are some articles which might make this years search for toddler gifts a bit easier:

The Cool Mom Picks Safer Toy Guide 2007

Toy Hazard Recalls from US Consumer Product Safety Commission

Find toy recalls with – Recalls.gov

In Search of Safety: A Mom’s 8-Step Guide to Toy Selection and Everyday Use

Choosing Safe Toys

Before You Buy A Toy For Your Child – Toy Safety Checklist

Healthy Toys Resource