nylaw2law

A Brief Reminiscence of Thanksgiving Past

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 28 Nov 2013 13:07:00 +0000

We lived in an attached house with a narrow street in front. You could play touch football there, two on two or three on three....."five steps and cut behind the red car"...."fake square out bomb"...."three straight completions is a first down".... On Thanksgiving it was cold out, good for football in sweatshirts. Red in the face, blowing some smoke like the Green Bay Packers. Working up an appetite, no school tomorrow and tomorrow is only Friday. Five touchdowns wins. One team wins, it doesn't take that long, it doesn't matter who won. It doesn't seem cold out at all, it's just right. Back in the house EVERYBODY is there. It is so WARM.

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL!!!

Power of YET

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Nov 2013 23:54:00 +0000

THE POWER OF YET

The most powerful English word is the simple three letter Y-E-T. It's powerful because it can change the direction of thought. From such changes in thought come changes in action. From where a person presently sits, real change may seem impossible. But is it? Or are we just not taking action, yet.

I recommend adding Y-E-T to any negative thought or sentence you produce. What’s the worst that could happen? It would sound a little stupid? OK, if it would be too embarrassing to try it out loud, try it just in your head. If you are embarrassed by your own thoughts, that’s something you haven’t gotten around to addressing, yet.

Why do I care about the power of yet? To be honest, its frustrating to listen to people recite the same problems over and over, making the same defeatist self-assessments, assuring the world how impossible their situations are. I know, other people’s problems are not my problems, and they shouldn’t bother me. I should stick to my own problems, a skill I have not perfected, yet.

Part of solving a problem is defining it clearly. Maybe that’s why we spend so much time defining and re-defining our problems. There is value in defining, it can lead to focus. Once defined and focused, move towards solutions? We frequently define using “can’t, haven’t, never, didn’t, don’t, aren’t” and all their friends. How can we overcome this? We don’t have an equalizer to negatively defined problems, yet.

Try this: Add the word “yet” to any negatively stated problem. Here are a few:

“I’m not committed to my exercise routine, yet.”

“I can’t make my relationships work, yet.”

“I don’t have my finances where I want them, yet.”

“I don’t know how to use computers, yet.”

“I’m not in a career I’m satisfied with, yet.”

Beginning to harness the power of yet takes only one little conversation with yourself. It involves an affirmative answer to one question....."Which do you prefer, having problems, or having problems in the process of solution?” If your honest answer is having problems works better for you, I’d say you are not ready for the power of yet, yet.

We are all works in progress, but if we are not progressing fast enough (yet), we can get on the fast track, with the power of Y-E-T.

Top 10 Things I Learned From My Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 11 May 2013 16:27:00 +0000

Top 10 things I learned from my Mother:

10. Reading and writing are gifts, appreciate them.

9. Forgiving is better than holding a grudge.

8. If you are interested in something, don't dabble, GO FOR IT!

7. The best way to make friends is to BE a friend.

6. Payback is irrelevant when it comes to helping. Help because you can.

5. You don't have to be "religious" to be spiritual.

4. There are many ways to support someone, not everyone needs the same kind of support.

3. When people ask for advice, give it. Accept that whether they follow it is their decision.

2. Fight for what you believe, but always see reality.

1. Be discreet in your speech, but if something needs to be said, SAY IT.

Mom - With immeasurable gratitude. Miss you every day.

Post Storm Visit to Rockaway

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 22:37:00 +0000

We went to Rockaway today. We bought flashlights and batteries and donated them at a church in Far Rockaway. Driving out there was a surreal experience. Starting out in Rego Park you would not know there was a problem (other than lines for gas). To get to Rockaway we go down Woodhaven Blvd., which turns into Cross Bay Blvd. When you get to Howard Beach on Cross Bay all the traffic lights are out and all the stores are closed. I could not help thinking of all the business owners who have surely lost everything. After Howard Beach comes Broad Channel. I knew this would be bad, and it was. No lights or power, abandoned cars everywhere, piles of garbage which were once people's possessions, piled everywhere. There is a big donation center at an American Legion Hall on Cross Bay. Cars were backed up and the parking lot was full, with hundreds of people dropping off donations.

There was no toll on the Cross Bay Bridge, just a sense of dread crossing the bay into Rockaway. When you hit the first big intersection it looks like a third world country. Many many people moving about with bags of stuff. Some bringing to donate, many others leaving with supplies they had just picked up. Huge charity set-ups that looked like a bazaar. We did not see anything that looked "official" or government run, or that appeared to be from the well known big charities. I'm not saying they aren't there, just that we didn't see them, nor did we see any signs directing people to them.
We drove around Rockaway quite a bit. At this point there is some sand pretty far inland, but not much. The boardwalk appeared partially intact in some places, gone in others, and damaged in others. Mostly we just saw people clearing stuff out of their houses. No traffic lights or electricity ANYWHERE out there, and no stores open. Even if a person had money in Rockaway, there is virtually no place to buy anything. We saw two big gas lines, and one place where there was a gas truck with a huge line of people with the omnipresent red gas canisters.

We then drove to Far Rockaway (the lower numbered Beach Streets). For my friends who are not familiar with Far Rockaway, this is a very poor area, I would venture to say one of the lowest income areas in New York City. It always seemed like a paradox to me, this blighted section right near beautiful oceanfront. It has been that way for a long time. We drove around and it was similar to the rest of Rockaway....no electricity, no stores, people cleaning up. We found a church on Cornega Avenue near Mott Avenue that had a pretty organized set-up, with a lot of people waiting on line. People were circling the items they needed on sheets, and volunteers were essentially putting orders together for them. People coming with donations were directed to put their stuff with the similar stuff on the tables. So, our batteries and flashlights went there. They also had canned food, Ensure, baby supplies, blankets, clothing, toiletries, and basic first aid supplies.

I would be lying if I said I felt "good" after making the donation. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and helplessness. After thinking about this, and as we discussed the days events on the way home, we agreed that helping was indeed "good", and that helping MORE would be better. Figuring out how to do that will be worthwhile.

So, we will bring some more stuff tomorrow. Other than that, and other than deciding to offer a ride to a person who looks tired, or who may need to use my phone to make a call, or to help move some junk, I don't know what else to do, except this.....

My NY/NJ/CT friends know about what I am about to say, but I want to say it in case there are any of my non-local friends who do not know......the enormity of the damage, in human and property terms, defies the imagination. I was in a few pretty large communities today, and it was hard to comprehend, and then one realizes that it is also like that in Long Beach, and all the towns on the South Shore, and Coney Island, and Staten Island, and New Jersey, and many many other areas.

So the only other thing I can think of to DO is to just encourage anyone who is reading this, take SOME action. Make a donation, volunteer someplace (if you google this activity, volunteer opportunities abound), drive someplace with some friends and help people clean or move.
When we are back home, in comfort, warm, and eating a nice meal, our tens of thousands of neighbors are not, and will not be doing the same for a LONG time.

Please consider doing SOMETHING, and act on it.

Trip to Austin

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 14:12:00 +0000

Some of the things I remembered, and wanted to experience again, were........

Great restaurants.

Nice, friendly people, everywhere.

Nice countryside and unique natural phenomena.

Every kind of music, abundantly.

Lots of health food, yoga, and all things groovy (Heck, I live with that, so visiting a society where that is "normal" had potential).

Good friends.

Huge campus and State Capitol which are big parts of the City, but by no means define the City.

A sense that there are ALWAYS things going on, and always fun things to do.

It's challenging to plan family trips as a family evolves. When I suggested the Austin trip, Rebecca told me a good friend she had met in the dorm at Wesleyan was from Austin. This promising news got even better when I emailed my friend Phil (who I had met in law school and stayed in touch with), and told him we were coming to Austin. I gave him our basic itinerary, and told him about Rebecca's Wesleyan friend from Austin. It turns out she and her family are great friends of Phil and his family, and it was agreed we would all get together. Small world, and a great pre-start to the trip.

We looked at all our schedules and narrowed it down to some "Thursday through Monday" in June or July. I suggested we narrow the search by "seeing if Slaid Cleaves was playing in Austin". He is a singer/songwriter who Felicia and I became obsessed with, after seeing him perform a few months ago at Stony Brook. www.slaid.com/ He is originally from Maine, but he is based in Austin. When we saw he was playing in the Cactus Cafe (a venue on the UT campus) in June, we decided THAT was the weekend to go.

Another plus with Austin is that Jet Blue has direct flights from JFK to Austin. I don't travel enough to have my opinion really count here, but I LOVE Jet Blue. I know they occasionally have a freaked out flight attendant or leave passengers on the tarmac, but I always do well with them. Their website is easy to navigate and book on, the prices are fair, and they have cable TV in every seat.

I'm also a big fan of Enterprise Rental Cars. Nothing against the bigger, more famous companies, but I just love the customer service at Enterprise. I think it's because when I used to have my cars stolen during the Dinkin's administration, my insurance company always sent me to Enterprise. They were consistently nice, and they still are.

We did so well with the airline and car that we decided to splurge on the hotel, and booked a nice Hilton in downtown Austin, right off 6th Street. This is the big live music section of Austin, pretty well known in the music world as the site of the annual South by Southwest festival http://sxsw.com/.

After a nice flight we checked at the Hilton. Pretty spiffy. We had a great view of Austin and 6th Street.. In the first pic you can see the Capitol, and "The Tower" and the Longhorns football stadium.

In the next pic you can see motorcycles parked on 6th Street. We did not realize that we had booked our trip during the Republic of Texas motorcycle weekend, also known as the "ROT Rally". There were 40,000 bikers in Austin the whole weekend. They were EVERYWHERE, but as one of the hotel workers said to me "These are mostly doctor and lawyer bikers, so it's not too bad".

Here's how that looked at night on 6th Street.

After some driving around, and lunch in an off-beat, friendly place (which pretty much describes every place you go in Austin), Emilie and I swam in the hotel pool while Felicia and Rebecca took a nap. This is very different than our usual family dynamic, where I fall asleep and everybody else goes out. After they woke up we looked at our list of restaurant suggestions and research, and decided to go for Tex-Mex (funny, we reached that decision pretty much every night). Night 1 we went to a place called "Z-Tejas" http://ztejas.com/locations/#!/texas/austin-6th-street/ We sat out on the deck and enjoyed the first of many excellent meals.

Part 2

From the moment I booked the trip, I knew our first breakfast in Austin would be at Cisco's. When I was in law school I once ate breakfast there 58 days in a row. Cisco's is a bakery with a restaurant in the back, located in the "bad" part of town (now gentrified and hipster of course). They are known for their "migas" (scrambled eggs with corn chips mixed in, served with beans, sausage, salsa, and tortillas or biscuits).

Besides the food, I liked Cisco's because it had a political history.....MANY famous politicians have eaten there over the years, and there were photos and other mementos on the walls. Also, everyone who worked there was always very nice.

Cisco's did not disappoint. Great food, friendly service, and excellent coffee (very important).

After breakfast Rebecca spoke to her friend in Austin, whose family is close friends with my law school friend Phil Durst, who lives in Austin. I don't want to say too much about Phil because he is modest. OK, I'll say a little. We became friends in law school because although he grew up in Texas, he has New York roots. He was funny, friendly, nice, and brilliant. And still is. Here's a link to his law firm website http://www.ddollaw.com/philip-durst/ Rebecca's friend mentioned something about Phil's artwork being in an Austin gallery. I had not known anything about Phil's art, so of course I googled it, located the gallery, and put this on our agenda. http://www.philipdurst.com/index2.php

After the gallery we took a tour of the State Capitol building. It was a cool tour, given by a "real Texan".

OK, we didn't take the picture above, but that's how it looked from the outside, and I might add, we parked right there on the street and walked right in. We took only one picture, from the lobby looking up at the dome....

After the tour we went back to the hotel pool to rest up for the evening's activities, including "waiting for the bats to come out at the Congress Avenue Bridge".....More on this in Trip to Austin Part 3.

Part 3

http://www.videocityguide.com/austin/listings/congress-bridge-bats

Like most things in Austin, the Congress Avenue Bridge was five minutes from our hotel. The concierge (yup, he knew about the bats!) told us the Austin American Statesman (THE Austin newspaper) allowed bat watchers to park in their parking lot. Sure enough.....

Looking at the bridge in still light twilight, I waxed poetic and thought, "This is all a bunch of bullshit. I mean, a MILLION bats?" "Did someone actually take a census?" "A million is a lot, I don't think you could fit a million marbles under the bridge, much less living creatures." I also wondered "Where does all the bat guano go?"

I was also a little worried about one million blind bats flying around, right where we were standing. The expert lady assured us they were blind, but their sonar tracking was highly sophisticated and they might come close but would never hit us. I was skeptical, I mean, my GPS is pretty sophisticated but sometimes it sends me on stupid routes.

We had some time, so we took some pictures....

Here's a picture from early in the bat waiting process....

As it got darker, more people congregated....

Still in all, for a free attraction, I felt we got our money's worth. It was only 9 o'clock, so we embarked on our evening plan, dinner in South Austin. The Congress Avenue Bridge crosses Town Lake. On one side Congress Avenue is a downtown street, leading directly to the Capitol building. On the other side of Town Lake, Congress Avenue becomes South Congress. This is a pretty cool part of Austin, with lots of restaurants, and food trucks, and bars with music, and college students. We cruised up and down checking things out, then hunger won out and we went to one of the restaurants on our list, Guero's Tacos. http://www.guerostacobar.com/ Pretty dang good!!!!

After dinner we had to walk it off. We stumbled upon Amy's Ice Cream. Fantastic. I did some research later and found out Amy's is an Austin tradition. Here's a posting from a Foodie blog about Amy's. http://www.followmefoodie.com/2010/08/austin-texas-amys-ice-cream-2/

When we got back to our hotel, we took a walk on 6th Street, which was closed to traffic due to 40,000 bikers being in Austin, on 6th Street, all at the same time. Certainly more bikers on 6th Street than bats at the bridge. We walked around in the insanity for an hour or so, then called it a night.

Another great day in Austin....

Next, Part 4....Barton Springs!!

Part 4

Saturday promised to be a busy day. The agenda was "picnic lunch at Barton Springs" in the afternoon, then dinner at Phil Durst's house, then we were all going to the Slaid Cleaves concert.

We had passed a gigantic Whole Foods a few times. I kind of remembered that Whole Foods originated in Austin, and a little research proved this correct. I love doing "a little research" while on a trip. Sometimes the cell phone can get the job done, but if not, you can't beat "internet on the computer in the hotel". How did we ever survive in the primitive past?

It's hard to describe how big and how nice the Austin Whole Foods was. Here's a link about it

http://restaurants.uptake.com/blog/whole-foods-grocery-store-austin-texas.html

Felicia said "This Whole Foods makes Fairway look like a bodega!"

We loaded up a fine assortment of appetizers, salads, sandwiches, cheeses, chips, and bottled water, and drove to Barton Springs. This is a famous place in Austin, but I know many of my New York friends have never heard of it. It's basically a natural spring that has been made into a gigantic swimming pool, in a huge beautiful park, with a big hill for sunbathing and hanging out, five or ten minutes from downtown. I will admit, we were the oldest people there, and thinking about that, I say "GOOD". You will sometimes see topless women there too. (Not usually the ones you'd want to see, but hey, topless is topless). Here's a cool link about Barton Springs from the City of Austin website. http://austintexas.gov/department/barton-springs-pool

We sat in the picnic area and ate our Whole Foods grub.

Then we found a shady spot on a hill and hung out. It was about 95 degrees, but not too bad in the shade.

I did go swimming. It was VERY cold, but cooled me off. Swimming is secondary to hanging out at Barton Springs.

Another great afternoon in Austin. Then it was back to the hotel to shower and get ready to see Slaid Cleaves. I KNOW.....WHO???? More on that in Part 5.

Part 5

It is from such things that obsessions are born. Slaid Cleaves is a singer/songwriter from Maine, who has settled in Austin. He writes poignant, heart-felt songs. He plays guitar and sings, and is usually accompanied by another guitar, or a fiddler, or a mandolin. I'd say he combines elements of folk, country and rock. I found an interview where he describes his style as "Americana". I'll go with that.

When we saw him at Stony Brook there were about 80 people in the room. Quite a few of them knew all the songs. Two women sitting in front of us were crying during his song "Lydia". Hearing it for the first time, I understood why. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PGGlepa-_U&feature=related On first hearing, almost ALL his songs got into my head. When that happens, all you can say is "This guy is good." At that show in Stony Brook we bought his CD, listened to it on the way home, and were hooked.

I should add, that while it has no impact on ME, Felicia points out that "he is a really good looking guy."

I was a little surprised there was an opening act, a singer song-writer named Anthony DaCosta. He was pretty good http://anthonydacosta.com/ Between sets he was in the lobby selling his CD's and talking to people. We were all trying to figure out how old he was. I guessed he was about 30. I suggested to Rebecca that she go talk to him, and buy a CD if she wanted to. She did both, then came back and told us he was a 21 year old student at Columbia!!

The Cactus Cafe was full (200 I would guess) with enthusiastic Slaid Cleaves fans. He did not disappoint. He was accompanied by a guy named ShoJo Jacques on fiddle and mandolin. Here are a few youtube videos showing what he does....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNfvSIHL20s Drinkin Days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmkGgqQhq0 Horseshoe Lounge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TXSklbFBpU Broke Down

Broke Down is a pretty impressive song. Here are the lyrics....

Sherry had a pawn shop band of gold
A sink full of dishes and a love grown cold
Along came a boy, pretty as the devil
She took his hand, the whole thing unravelled

There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

Billy took the ring, jammed it in his pocket
Drove down town and tried to hock it
Down at the bottom of Lake Ponchartrain
There's a love not carved inside a wedding ring

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
Broke down, torn and frayed, ain't nothin' left you could give away
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

Ain't no tellin where love goes
Maybe down where the black river flows
Won't be comin' back round, it's broke down[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/slaid_cleaves/broke_down.html ]
Baby in the back seat, and another on the way
Sherry thinks of Billy at the end of every day
Spends her nights waiting for real life to start
Listening to the sound of her double crossed heart

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

On the other side of town, two lovers lie still
Cigarette smokin' on a window sill
There's a picture locked up in an old suitcase
Billy closes his eyes but he still sees her face

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
Broke down, torn and frayed, ain't nothin' left you could give away
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down, broke down

Slaid played all the songs we wanted to hear, plus a few new ones that were pretty darn good too. After the show he was in the lobby and we spent some time talking with him.

Yes, I AM wearing a Slaid Cleaves T-shirt. I mean, if not there, WHEN???

After the show we went with Phil and Eliza and Debbie to some funky ice cream/gelato place near Phil's house. We sat outside in the pleasant night air.

So, Whole Foods, Barton Springs, salad and pizza, Slaid Cleaves, gelato with friends. What a day!!!!

Part 6

On our last full day in Austin we decided to "head out into the country". When you have a rented car, a GPS, and some time, why not? This was the plan......

Breakfast at "The Omelletry"

Go the "The Lavender Festival" in Blanco, Texas.

Go to Luckenbach, Texas.

The Omelletry - I don't know about you, but when I am on vacation, I place high value on finding good breakfast places. They don't have to be fancy, just good food, good service, good coffee. When I was in Austin in the late 70's there was an "Omelettry" and an "Omelettry West". I did some research and figured out that the Omelettry West was the one I used to go to. It was a wacky, weird Austin place. Further research showed that Omelettry West had been sold and was now a more "upscale", popular place. So we decided to go to the regular Omelettry. It had a strange mural on the front.

We had to wait a bit, but it was worthwhile. Big omelettes, friendly service and good coffee.

We then hit the road for the Lavender Festival, out in Blanco, Texas. We drove about an hour in the Hill Country, listening to country music on a bright, sunny day. Here's a link showing what the lavender festival is all about. http://www.blancolavenderfest.com/market/ Basically, a crafts fair with booths, in a genuine small town. We checked out the exhibits for about an hour and a half. Emilie and I liked the "historic courthouse" best (mostly because it was air conditioned). but I think Felicia and Rebecca enjoyed the crafts exhibits more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AbSbmjJPSM

We were driving on a desolate country road for a pretty long time, and the GPS indicated we were about 2 miles from Luckenbach. From the back seat Rebecca asked "Hey Dad, what is this this place we're going to, what's going to be there?". I told the truth...."Becca, I don't know, but we're about to find out."

When we came off the exit we saw a parking lot with some cars and motorcycles parked, an enclosed area that looked like an outdoor dance hall

a small building (that was actually a closed post office that is now a souvenir place)

and a bandstand with seats in front of it

I moseyed (a gait I NEVER use in NY) over next to the bandstand and asked someone if a band was playing today. She said "Yup, the South Austin Moonlighters are playing today. Should be 20 minutes or so." There were quite a few people waiting for the music so I decided to get a beer and wait for the South Austin Moonlighters. Beer was being sold out of large coolers, so I walked over and asked for a real Texas beer. The lady said "How 'bout a Shiner Bock?" I said "Yup, that'll do."

We all walked around checking out the entirety of Luckenbach, which was all right there where we were. Then the South Austin Moonlighters started playing. They opened with a country style song, but the rest of the time it was high level, high energy rock n' roll. They were EXCELLENT!!!

I youtubed them when I got home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4ir12LfEA8 They did this song (The BeeGees "To Love Somebody") when we saw them.

They played for about an hour. After they were done it was announced that the "picker's circle" would start in about an hour. I asked someone what that was, and was told that anyone who wants to come up and pick on their guitar or banjo was welcome to come and do so, and that they usually had some pretty good pickers. I liked knowing that was going to happen, but we decided to buy some souvenirs and hit the road. Rebecca bought a sleeveless shirt that says "Luckenbach, Texas" on the front and "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" on the back. She's worn it while walking around Manhattan a few times since we've been home.

When we got in the car I said "Well, as far as I can tell, THAT was Luckenbach, Texas, what did y'all think?" Felicia and Rebecca said in unison "It was GREAT." I agreed, and added "It was not what I expected, but it was everything I expected. It was PERFECT."

Part 7 (finale)

After getting back from Luckenbach we chilled at the hotel for awhile. We didn't want to travel too far for dinner, so we had our last Tex-Mex fix at a restaurant on 6th Street called the Iron Cactus. Rooftop dining with nice views.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmkGgqQhq0

There's a lot more going on in this song than a tribute to a bar. At least, it seems that way to me.

Horseshoe Lounge (Lyrics)

Ricky got the quarters for the table and broke
While I pulled hard on the sorrow and smoke
Raising up my bottle I looked for a chance
As you set your glass down on the bar with a glance at me

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Shuffleboard and neon light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Cigarettes and whiskey tonight

Ricky said 'She's out of your league, let her go'
As I watched you pick your partner on that old dance floor
I know it didn't work out the first time we tried
But I'd do anything to have you by my side again.

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Peel the label off a Miller light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
I sit here thinking 'bout you every night.

Were you the one who faltered
Was I the one who strayed
Maybe God left us out of the plans he made

So here's to missed beginnings and things that never start
For these are the ghosts that run around in my heart
When I see that where I'm going isn't where I want to be
I get the urge to look you up see if you would come and meet me

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Peel the label off a miller light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
I sit here thinking 'bout you every night.

Ricky got the quarters for the table and broke
While I pulled hard on the sorrow and smoke

So, we drove over to South Austin to the Horseshoe Lounge......

It's a dive bar. It was busy but not packed. Music on the jukebox and some people playing shuffleboard (like in the song). They were pretty good at it too.

The bartender had a big horseshoe tattoo on his arm. When he said "What'll it be?" I was ready......

"Two Miller Lights" (like in the song). I suspect we were not the first people to come into the Horseshoe Lounge, order Miller Lights, and then sit at the bar and "peel the labels off a Miller Light" (like in the song). And that's what we did as our final hurrah in Austin.

Watched shuffleboard players in the Horseshoe Lounge, peeling the labels off a Miller Light.

Just like I pictured it!

Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome.

Trip to Austin........Part 7 (finale)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 01:33:00 +0000

It was a long day, we were pretty bushed, and we were going home the next morning. Around midnight, Felicia asked "Is there anything that you wanted to do that we didn't do?" I thought about this and said "Yeah. One more thing. I want to go to The Horseshoe Lounge". This is a dive bar in South Austin that is the subject of a Slaid Cleaves song. Here's a nice version.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmkGgqQhq0
There's a lot more going on in this song than a tribute to a bar. At least, it seems that way to me.

Horseshoe Lounge (Lyrics)

Ricky got the quarters for the table and broke
While I pulled hard on the sorrow and smoke
Raising up my bottle I looked for a chance
As you set your glass down on the bar with a glance at me

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Shuffleboard and neon light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Cigarettes and whiskey tonight

Ricky said 'She's out of your league, let her go'
As I watched you pick your partner on that old dance floor
I know it didn't work out the first time we tried
But I'd do anything to have you by my side again.

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Peel the label off a Miller light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
I sit here thinking 'bout you every night.

Were you the one who faltered
Was I the one who strayed
Maybe God left us out of the plans he made

So here's to missed beginnings and things that never start
For these are the ghosts that run around in my heart
When I see that where I'm going isn't where I want to be
I get the urge to look you up see if you would come and meet me

Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
Peel the label off a miller light
Down at the Horseshoe Lounge
I sit here thinking 'bout you every night.

Ricky got the quarters for the table and broke
While I pulled hard on the sorrow and smoke

So, we drove over to South Austin to the Horseshoe Lounge......

It's a dive bar. It was busy but not packed. Music on the jukebox and some people playing shuffleboard (like in the song). They were pretty good at it too.

The bartender had a big horseshoe tattoo on his arm. When he said "What'll it be?" I was ready......
"Two Miller Lights" (like in the song). I suspect we were not the first people to come into the Horseshoe Lounge, order Miller Lights, and then sit at the bar and "peel the labels off a Miller Light" (like in the song). And that's what we did as our final hurrah in Austin.

Watched shuffleboard players in the Horseshoe Lounge, peeling the labels off a Miller Light.

Just like I pictured it!

Trip to Austin.....Part 6

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 00:10:00 +0000

On our last full day in Austin we decided to "head out into the country". When you have a rented car, a GPS, and some time, why not? This was the plan......

Breakfast at "The Omelletry"
Go the "The Lavender Festival" in Blanco, Texas.
Go to Luckenbach, Texas.

The Omelletry - I don't know about you, but when I am on vacation, I place high value on finding good breakfast places. They don't have to be fancy, just good food, good service, good coffee. When I was in Austin in the late 70's there was an "Omelettry" and an "Omelettry West". I did some research and figured out that the Omelettry West was the one I used to go to. It was a wacky, weird Austin place. Further research showed that Omelettry West had been sold and was now a more "upscale", popular place. So we decided to go to the regular Omelettry. It had a strange mural on the front.

We had to wait a bit, but it was worthwhile. Big omelettes, friendly service and good coffee.

We then hit the road for the Lavender Festival, out in Blanco, Texas. We drove about an hour in the Hill Country, listening to country music on a bright, sunny day. Here's a link showing what the lavender festival is all about. http://www.blancolavenderfest.com/market/ Basically, a crafts fair with booths, in a genuine small town. We checked out the exhibits for about an hour and a half. Emilie and I liked the "historic courthouse" best (mostly because it was air conditioned). but I think Felicia and Rebecca enjoyed the crafts exhibits more.

Then it was off to Luckenbach. When I lived in Austin I heard a lot of talk about Luckenbach, but I had never gone there. It was talked about as this mythical place where people could go "to get away from their stressed lives and just relax and BE". It was never clear whether it was an actual City, or perhaps just a frame of mind, or maybe just a legend. It was also memorialized in one of the great country songs ever "Luckenbach, Texas, Back to the Basics of Love", by Waylon Jennings (with the last stanza sung by Willie Nelson). Wanna know why I love country music? Check this out....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AbSbmjJPSM

We were driving on a desolate country road for a pretty long time, and the GPS indicated we were about 2 miles from Luckenbach. From the back seat Rebecca asked "Hey Dad, what is this this place we're going to, what's going to be there?". I told the truth...."Becca, I don't know, but we're about to find out."

When we came off the exit we saw a parking lot with some cars and motorcycles parked, an enclosed area that looked like an outdoor dance hall

a small building (that was actually a closed post office that is now a souvenir place)

and a bandstand with seats in front of it

I youtubed them when I got home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4ir12LfEA8 They did this song (The BeeGees "To Love Somebody") when we saw them.

They played for about an hour. After they were done it was announced that the "picker's circle" would start in about an hour. I asked someone what that was, and was told that anyone who wants to come up and pick on their guitar or banjo was welcome to come and do so, and that they usually had some pretty good pickers. I liked knowing that was going to happen, but we decided to buy some souvenirs and hit the road. Rebecca bought a sleeveless shirt that says "Luckenbach, Texas" on the front and "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" on the back. She's worn it while walking around Manhattan a few times since we've been home.

When we got in the car I said "Well, as far as I can tell, THAT was Luckenbach, Texas, what did y'all think?" Felicia and Rebecca said in unison "It was GREAT." I agreed, and added "It was not what I expected, but it was everything I expected. It was PERFECT."

Trip to Austin......Part 5

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 00:23:00 +0000

We decided on this particular weekend in Austin because Slaid Cleaves was going to be playing at the Cactus Cafe, a small venue on the UT campus. I discovered him when Felicia and I decided to drive to Stony Brook last October to celebrate our "anniversary of meeting." She said "It looks like some guy named Slaid Cleaves is playing on campus." She said she googled him and he's a singer/songwriter, who she thought she heard once on WFUV. I said "That's enough info for me. Get tickets and don't tell me any more about him. Whatever it is, it is."

It is from such things that obsessions are born. Slaid Cleaves is a singer/songwriter from Maine, who has settled in Austin. He writes poignant, heart-felt songs. He plays guitar and sings, and is usually accompanied by another guitar, or a fiddler, or a mandolin. I'd say he combines elements of folk, country and rock. I found an interview where he describes his style as "Americana". I'll go with that.

When we saw him at Stony Brook there were about 80 people in the room. Quite a few of them knew all the songs. Two women sitting in front of us were crying during his song "Lydia". Hearing it for the first time, I understood why. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PGGlepa-_U&feature=related On first hearing, almost ALL his songs got into my head. When that happens, all you can say is "This guy is good." At that show in Stony Brook we bought his CD, listened to it on the way home, and were hooked.

I should add, that while it has no impact on ME, Felicia points out that "he is a really good looking guy."

We had tickets for the four of us, and my friend Phil, plus Rebecca's friend Eliza (who lives in Austin) and her Mom Debbie (who LOVES Slaid Cleaves). We deviated from our "Tex-Mex for dinner" routine and had a great dinner of salad, gazpacho (made with fresh vegetable from Phil's garden) and pizza at Phil's house. It was great fun for us all to get to know each other.

I was a little surprised there was an opening act, a singer song-writer named Anthony DaCosta. He was pretty good http://anthonydacosta.com/  Between sets he was in the lobby selling his CD's and talking to people. We were all trying to figure out how old he was. I guessed he was about 30. I suggested to Rebecca that she go talk to him, and buy a CD if she wanted to. She did both, then came back and told us he was a 21 year old student at Columbia!!

The Cactus Cafe was full (200 I would guess) with enthusiastic Slaid Cleaves fans. He did not disappoint. He was accompanied by a guy named ShoJo Jacques on fiddle and mandolin. Here are a few youtube videos showing what he does....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNfvSIHL20s  Drinkin Days
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmkGgqQhq0  Horseshoe Lounge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TXSklbFBpU  Broke Down

Broke Down is a pretty impressive song. Here are the lyrics....

Sherry had a pawn shop band of gold
A sink full of dishes and a love grown cold
Along came a boy, pretty as the devil
She took his hand, the whole thing unravelled

There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

Billy took the ring, jammed it in his pocket
Drove down town and tried to hock it
Down at the bottom of Lake Ponchartrain
There's a love not carved inside a wedding ring

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
Broke down, torn and frayed, ain't nothin' left you could give away
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

Ain't no tellin where love goes
Maybe down where the black river flows
Won't be comin' back round, it's broke down[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/slaid_cleaves/broke_down.html ]
Baby in the back seat, and another on the way
Sherry thinks of Billy at the end of every day
Spends her nights waiting for real life to start
Listening to the sound of her double crossed heart

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down

On the other side of town, two lovers lie still
Cigarette smokin' on a window sill
There's a picture locked up in an old suitcase
Billy closes his eyes but he still sees her face

Broke down, cracked and shattered
Left in pieces like it never even mattered
Broke down, torn and frayed, ain't nothin' left you could give away
There's no turnin' round, it's broke down, broke down

Slaid played all the songs we wanted to hear, plus a few new ones that were pretty darn good too. After the show he was in the lobby and we spent some time talking with him.

Yes, I AM wearing a Slaid Cleaves T-shirt. I mean, if not there, WHEN???

After the show we went with Phil and Eliza and Debbie to some funky ice cream/gelato place near Phil's house. We sat outside in the pleasant night air.

So, Whole Foods, Barton Springs, salad and pizza, Slaid Cleaves, gelato with friends. What a day!!!!

Trip to Austin......Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 00:49:00 +0000

Saturday promised to be a busy day. The agenda was "picnic lunch at Barton Springs" in the afternoon, then dinner at Phil Durst's house, then we were all going to the Slaid Cleaves concert.

We had passed a gigantic Whole Foods a few times. I kind of remembered that Whole Foods originated in Austin, and a little research proved this correct. I love doing "a little research" while on a trip. Sometimes the cell phone can get the job done, but if not, you can't beat "internet on the computer in the hotel". How did we ever survive in the primitive past?

It's hard to describe how big and how nice the Austin Whole Foods was. Here's a link about it
http://restaurants.uptake.com/blog/whole-foods-grocery-store-austin-texas.html

Felicia said "This Whole Foods makes Fairway look like a bodega!"

We loaded up a fine assortment of appetizers, salads, sandwiches, cheeses, chips, and bottled water, and drove to Barton Springs. This is a famous place in Austin, but I know many of my New York friends have never heard of it. It's basically a natural spring that has been made into a gigantic swimming pool, in a huge beautiful park, with a big hill for sunbathing and hanging out, five or ten minutes from downtown. I will admit, we were the oldest people there, and thinking about that, I say "GOOD". You will sometimes see topless women there too. (Not usually the ones you'd want to see, but hey, topless is topless). Here's a cool link about Barton Springs from the City of Austin website. http://austintexas.gov/department/barton-springs-pool

We sat in the picnic area and ate our Whole Foods grub.

Then we found a shady spot on a hill and hung out. It was about 95 degrees, but not too bad in the shade.

I did go swimming. It was VERY cold, but cooled me off. Swimming is secondary to hanging out at Barton Springs.

Another great afternoon in Austin. Then it was back to the hotel to shower and get ready to see Slaid Cleaves. I KNOW.....WHO???? More on that in Part 5.

Trip to Austin.....Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 01:44:00 +0000

We decided to see a well known Austin attraction, the "bats who live in the Congress Avenue Bridge and fly out every night at sunset". I did some online research and found out that 1,000,000 (yup, a million!!) bats sleep all day in the Congress Avenue Bridge, and every night at sunset they "fly out to feed". I'm not sure why I wanted to see this, but I wanted to see it. In fact, my whole family agreed that we wanted to see this. Part of my thinking was....."if it doesn't measure up as a tourist attraction we will have still spent a nice sunset at the shore, and then we can go for Tex-Mex". Everyone knew this was the plan, and were cool with it. Here's a link about it

http://www.videocityguide.com/austin/listings/congress-bridge-bats

Like most things in Austin, the Congress Avenue Bridge was five minutes from our hotel. The concierge (yup, he knew about the bats!) told us the Austin American Statesman (THE Austin newspaper) allowed bat watchers to park in their parking lot. Sure enough.....

There were quite a few people waiting for the bats, and a lot of posted info about the bats. We learned all about the natural phenomena that caused one MILLION bats to live in the bridge, sleep all day, and come out at night to feed. There was even a bat expert walking around and answering people's bat questions. She did point out that we were not at the height of the bat season, which is right after hundreds of thousands of bat mom's give birth, then leave their young to hunt for insects. Supposedly the bats consumed thousands of pounds of insects every night.

Looking at the bridge in still light twilight, I waxed poetic and thought, "This is all a bunch of bullshit. I mean, a MILLION bats?" "Did someone actually take a census?" "A million is a lot, I don't think you could fit a million marbles under the bridge, much less living creatures." I also wondered "Where does all the bat guano go?"

I was also a little worried about one million blind bats flying around, right where we were standing. The expert lady assured us they were blind, but their sonar tracking was highly sophisticated and they might come close but would never hit us. I was skeptical, I mean, my GPS is pretty sophisticated but sometimes it sends me on stupid routes.

We had some time, so we took some pictures....

Here's a picture from early in the bat waiting process....

As it got darker, more people congregated....

Then, it started to get dark, and you could kind of see shadows of bats flying around. There was never an "oooooh, ahhhhh", moment. It was mostly "Was that a bat? Did you see any bats?". At a certain point I realized that if a bat got close enough for me to actually see it, that was way too close. If there are a million bats in there, they were either hibernating or watching something on cable. Maybe they were waiting for the tourists to leave when it got REALLY dark. Maybe they weren't so hungry that they had to come out the moment the sun went down....maybe they would just come out later for a nosh. So, we saw some bats. For all I know, we may have seen thousands of bats. But a million?!?!?!

Still in all, for a free attraction, I felt we got our money's worth. It was only 9 o'clock, so we embarked on our evening plan, dinner in South Austin. The Congress Avenue Bridge crosses Town Lake. On one side Congress Avenue is a downtown street, leading directly to the Capitol building. On the other side of Town Lake, Congress Avenue becomes South Congress. This is a pretty cool part of Austin, with lots of restaurants, and food trucks, and bars with music, and college students. We cruised up and down checking things out, then hunger won out and we went to one of the restaurants on our list, Guero's Tacos. http://www.guerostacobar.com/ Pretty dang good!!!!

After dinner we had to walk it off. We stumbled upon Amy's Ice Cream. Fantastic. I did some research later and found out Amy's is an Austin tradition. Here's a posting from a Foodie blog about Amy's. http://www.followmefoodie.com/2010/08/austin-texas-amys-ice-cream-2/

When we got back to our hotel, we took a walk on 6th Street, which was closed to traffic due to 40,000 bikers being in Austin, on 6th Street, all at the same time. Certainly more bikers on 6th Street than bats at the bridge. We walked around in the insanity for an hour or so, then called it a night.

Another great day in Austin....

Next, Part 4....Barton Springs!!

Trip to Austin.....Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 23:15:00 +0000

After the gallery we took a tour of the State Capitol building. It was a cool tour, given by a "real Texan".

Trip to Austin (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 00:43:00 +0000

Last month we took a 5 day family trip to Austin, Texas. I got to know Austin from going to law school at UT in the late 70's. Not only is Austin not like the rest of Texas, it's not like anywhere else.

Some of the things I remembered, and wanted to experience again, were........
Great restaurants.
Nice, friendly people, everywhere.
Nice countryside and unique natural phenomena.
Every kind of music, abundantly.
Lots of health food, yoga, and all things groovy (Heck, I live with that, so visiting a society where that is "normal" had potential).
Good friends.
Huge campus and State Capitol which are big parts of the City, but by no means define the City.
A sense that there are ALWAYS things going on, and always fun things to do.

It's challenging to plan family trips as a family evolves. When I suggested the Austin trip, Rebecca told me a good friend she had met in the dorm at Wesleyan was from Austin. This promising news got even better when I emailed my friend Phil (who I had met in law school and stayed in touch with), and told him we were coming to Austin. I gave him our basic itinerary, and told him about Rebecca's Wesleyan friend from Austin. It turns out she and her family are great friends of Phil and his family, and it was agreed we would all get together. Small world, and a great pre-start to the trip.

We looked at all our schedules and narrowed it down to some "Thursday through Monday" in June or July. I suggested we narrow the search by "seeing if Slaid Cleaves was playing in Austin". He is a singer/songwriter who Felicia and I became obsessed with, after seeing him perform a few months ago at Stony Brook. www.slaid.com/ He is originally from Maine, but he is based in Austin. When we saw he was playing in the Cactus Cafe (a venue on the UT campus) in June, we decided THAT was the weekend to go.

Another plus with Austin is that Jet Blue has direct flights from JFK to Austin. I don't travel enough to have my opinion really count here, but I LOVE Jet Blue. I know they occasionally have a freaked out flight attendant or leave passengers on the tarmac, but I always do well with them. Their website is easy to navigate and book on, the prices are fair, and they have cable TV in every seat.

I'm also a big fan of Enterprise Rental Cars. Nothing against the bigger, more famous companies, but I just love the customer service at Enterprise. I think it's because when I used to have my cars stolen during the Dinkin's administration, my insurance company always sent me to Enterprise. They were consistently nice, and they still are.

We did so well with the airline and car that we decided to splurge on the hotel, and booked a nice Hilton in downtown Austin, right off 6th Street. This is the big live music section of Austin, pretty well known in the music world as the site of the annual South by Southwest festival http://sxsw.com/.

After a nice flight we checked at the Hilton. Pretty spiffy. We had a great view of Austin and 6th Street.. In the first pic you can see the Capitol, and "The Tower" and the Longhorns football stadium.

Here's how that looked at night on 6th Street.

Ethics is Easy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 01:32:00 +0000

At a Mother's Day dinner with friends, someone told a story about a colleague who did the following.....

He had booked a vacation through a small airline (I will omit names and incriminating details to protect the "innocent"). When he needed to change his itinerary the airline wanted to charge $600. So this person did a little research about the CEO of the company. Things like where he went to college, what frat he was in, what interests he had, and who some of his friends were. He then used this information to call people in the reservations department, impersonated an old friend of the CEO, and got the company to waive the $600 fee.

Upon hearing the story my reaction was essentially, "What an a-hole," and I said so. I was not met with uniform agreement, and one person said, "I think what he did was wonderful, and I don't see why you have a problem with it." I was flustered, and could only say, "It just seems wrong, it's....unethical." To which this person responded, "Yeah, well, you are just so ETHICAL." As if there were something wrong with it.

This led to a long discussion of right, wrong, ethics, criminality, and the whole gamut of "sin being in the eye of the beholder." Disturbing on many levels, but if nothing else, thought provoking.

The next day when I left work I noticed that my car (a 2002 Saturn about which I had been agonizing over whether I should sell and graduate to a fancier car, or keep it because it ran well and I don't really care much about cars) had a note on the windshield. As Maimonides once said, "A note on the windshield is rarely a good thing." (he said a lot of cool things btw)
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/194459.Maimonides

The note said "Check your left rear fender." The note also had a man's name and phone #. Had he not left the note, I would not have noticed that the left rear bumper was dented. When I walked around to the other side of the car, I saw that the right rear tire had been pushed into the curb and that the rim was dented pretty bad. I also noticed that the trunk was slightly askew. The car sounded a little funny, but I was able to drive it home.

I called the note-writer and identified myself as the blue Saturn owner and note recipient. He told me he was really sorry, that he had made a mistake and hit my car and it was his fault. He said he would call his insurance company and if it was OK with me, he would call me back and give me the claim number. I thanked him and then said the next thing that came to mind: "What you are doing is so.....ETHICAL."

He called me back with the claim number and I called his insurance company the next morning. The adjustor told me that they would accept 100% responsibility, set me up with a rental car if I needed it, and that I should let them know if I had a body shop so they could evaluate the car there. I asked the adjustor how often people in this situation leave a note, and he said, "About 10%."

Bottom line: The insurance considered my Saturn a total and paid me $5000 for it. MUCH more than I would have sold or traded it for. I used the rental car while I shopped for new cars, found a great deal, and am now driving a nice new car.

I admit it, I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this story.

Some observations: More than one person told me that they have experienced people who hit a parked car, go through the motions of leaving a note (because people saw them), but leave phony information. Oy vey.

Some people thought that the story of the airline impersonator was pretty ingenious, though it was hard to imagine someone spending the time and effort to do that. I add this comment to the mix: "If you did that, would you brag about it, or would you be embarrassed to tell anyone?"

I think if I hit a parked car I would be in the 10% and leave a note. That being said, my instinct would also be to look around and see if anyone saw, and I imagine I would at least think it over.

A bit of backstory about my 2002 Saturn: On the day before Mother's Day I was at home, thinking about whether to look at new cars and sell my Saturn. At the precise moment I firmly decided to stick with my old car, the Neil Young song "Long May You Run" came on the radio. I used to think this song was an ode to an old friend, but further research indicates it's about HIS CAR!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nszR0tfp4Es

Long May You Run (Lyrics)

We've been through
Some things together
With trunks of memories
Still to come
We found things to do
In stormy weather
Long may you run.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Well, it was
Back in Blind River in 1962
When I last saw you alive
But we missed that shift
On the long decline
Long may you run.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Maybe The Beach Boys
Have got you now
With those waves
Singing "Caroline No"
Rollin' down
That empty ocean road
Gettin' to the surf on time.

Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes
Have come
With your chrome heart shining
In the sun
Long may you run.

Zen and the Art of Silent Golf

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 13:04:00 +0000

Golf presents me with a dilemma. I really should retire from "competitive" sports like basketball and even softball, since the serious injury question is not "if" but "when and how bad". The problem with golf is that I play pretty poorly and haven't improved much in the last 20 years. I can forgive myself somewhat, having only started to play in my 30's, and also because improving at golf takes learning the fundamentals and then practice and playing, and all of these take TIME.

I can't really play golf instead of working, and I don't want to regularly spend 5-7 hours on a weekend away from family and personal commitments. The only way to play more is to expand my day.

For me, this translates to "Back nine at Forest Park".

Some background about golf is in order (Note - If you are a golfer, you probably know most of these things. If you are not, please think of this as an anthropological study of a culture containing unique customs and rituals, existing right in your midst)

There are public courses and private courses. I am not a member of a country club, so I play at public courses. I have played at private courses as a guest, and at golf outings. Private courses are nicer.....everything is better groomed, the players are aware of courtesy and etiquette, and you don't have to wait around too much because everyone has some idea how to play the game. Just like in regular life.

A lot of people don't know this, but there are twelve public golf courses in the City of New York. I'm not talking miniature golf here, these are all 18 hole REAL golf courses. There are four in Queens (Forest Park, Kissena, Douglaston and Clearview), two in Brooklyn (Marine Park and Dycker), three in the Bronx (Pelham, Split Rock, and Van Cortlandt) and three in Staten Island (Silver Lake, La Tourette and South Shore). I have played all of these except Split Rock (I heard it had a lot of mosquitoes, so why take a chance).

On private courses they require you to use a motorized cart. These are provided as part of your membership. You hit your ball, you drive to it, you hit it again. The cart carries your bag of clubs, and your drinks and your snacks and other stuff. Sometimes they have a special GPS for golf. The GPS has the course layout, and can tell you how far from the hole you are, what hazards lie ahead, etc. (I know, you think I'm kidding, but it's true). Fancier private clubs require you to use a caddy (a person who carries your bag of clubs and gives you golf advice). Like in Caddyshack.

On public courses you can use a cart, and many people do. You pay extra for this, and it's not expensive ($20 - $30 for a round, and you usually split it with someone). You can also use a pull cart (you can rent these for about $5, but people who use them usually have their own). I have my own pull cart. You can also simply carry your own bag, which some people do.

All the public courses now have pretty good reservation systems. You can call, or make reservations online. Golfers go around the course in groups of four. However, it is very common for people to have a group of two or three, or to arrive as a single. When you do this, the "starter" turns the various groups into foursomes. I have no problem going as a single, and getting matched with a threesome (or a twosome plus another single). Sometimes it's one of the nicest things about golf. You meet some strangers, walk and play the course together, and talk while you play. Over the years I have played the NYC public courses with all kinds of nice people. I have played with firemen, retirees (male and female), fathers and sons, schoolteachers, lawyers who I didn't know, teenagers, and every racial/ethnic group.

A playing option I like is playing the "back nine only". To do this you show up early in the morning, and you can start on hole #10, and play holes 10 - 18. This is first come, first serve, but at 6 AM it's not usually crowded. The cut-off time for this is 8 AM (the time when the earliest golfers who are playing 18 holes would get to #10). It's busier for the back nine between 7 and 8, and you risk being shut out, so I like to go early. Playing when it's not crowded, one can play nine holes in two to two 1/2 hours. Starting at 6 has me done by 8:30. It feels good to get home at 9 AM, having already done something I really enjoy. The price is not bad either. I paid $19.25 to walk the back nine at Forest Park, plus $2.75 for parking.

My recent Forest Park back nine experiences have been a little different. I still go as a single, but I do not play with the variety of folks I used to. Now the answer to the question "Who did you play with today?" is always the same. "Three Koreans".

Last Fall, one morning after I had paid and walked over to the starter on the 10th hole, he said to me, "I hope you like silent golf". When I asked what he meant, he said "You see the people waiting to play? They won't be talking to you. I hope you can handle that". I looked at the people waiting and saw they were all Asian. I hadn't noticed before. I asked the starter if he was serious. He assured me he was, and I said I was there to play, so send me out.

I did not care for silent golf the first time I experienced it. It's not that my playing partners didn't speak, they just didn't speak to ME. They talked quite a lot, to each other, in Korean. Sometimes they also did this while I was getting ready to hit the ball, or to putt, which is a big breach of etiquette. A few times I stopped and stared when they did this, and they got the message. I made a few jokes to myself as I walked and played, but as that first morning of silent golf wore on, I must admit, I became upset. At the last hole, when the last putt dropped, I did what one is supposed to do, I shook hands with each member of the foursome. This is universal, and they were doing it too. Usually you say something like "Nice playing with you, or thanks for the round, or whatever......"All I could think to say was "Thanks for nothing". Not surprisingly, there was no reaction to my comment. After that day I didn't play for quite awhile.

Yesterday I really wanted to play. So I decided to try another Forest Park back nine, and if it turned out to be silent, so be it. I went one mental step further. While I did not assume it would be silent golf, if it turned out to be, I was going to enjoy it.

When I walked to the 10th hole at 6 AM, there were about ten people waiting. However, when the starter saw I was a single he said "A threesome is next, you can join them". I walked over to my three Korean playing partners and said "Good morning, I'm Barry". One said "I'm Choi". The other two were silent. Until I got ready to make my first shot, at which time they all started jabbering in Korean. I just laughed and hit my drive.

I saw that my playing partners were pretty good players. Actually, they were great off the tee, and all had the same swing. They probably all learned from the same pro, and probably spent hours at the driving range. They were not nearly as good on the short game and putting. I had plenty of time to analyze their games and talk to myself about it. They had an opportunity to observe my game too. I don't drive the ball very far, and I slice too much, but I am pretty good on the short game and putting. On the 14th hole I hit a drive that was not great, but better than I had done so far. At this point they all said "Guh-sha", which I know is Korenglish for "good shot". Of course, I also know that this really means "Good shot....for YOU." I just laughed and said thank you.

On the 16th hole, after my drive, Choi said to me "You slicey too much, should close stance to hit straighter". I said thank you, I'll try that. The last two holes my drives were better. I felt great after my rewarding nine holes of silent golf. I went home, had a great breakfast, and started thinking about my new stance.

College Selection Process

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 May 2011 00:57:00 +0000

It's about time I dusted off the keyboard and got back to blogging. It's tempting to say that the "college selection process" absorbed so much of my mental energy that I could not blog. The process DID engender much thought, energy and emotion. Might as well break the ice by talking about it.

I want to make some observations about the process, knowing that every family dynamic is different and every student is unique. Here we go:

1. The process could turn into a "life and death" or "be all and end all" situation. It is the parents' job to make it NOT this way. In reality, it's a process that ends with a result....your child is going to the college that is the result of the process, and the result is you collectively make a great decision.

2. Taking trips to visit colleges, or taking trips to visit cities that have a lot of colleges (like Boston) can be a great time. It should be approached that way. Not only does it help the decision making process, but it makes for nice mini-vacations.

3. There is a vast amount of information available. This is good and bad. Avail yourself, but don't go insane about it. If you are new to the process, two sites we used a lot were www.collegeprowler.com and www.collegeconfidential.com I admit that I did look at "rankings" in various publications, but unless "status" is what you're all about, these don't help much.

4. College is expensive, but there is a ton of financial aid available. I'm talking grants and aid here, not loans. Almost all schools use the "FAFSA," a long financial disclosure form. Many schools also use additional financial applications. These are really detailed, require backup info, and have deadlines. We used a professional person to assist us with this part of it. It turned out to be well worth the investment (of time and money) to do this part right.

5. There are several parts of the process that elicit family discussions on a mature level. This can be difficult at first, but I found that once we started having these discussions, new levels of mutual respect were attained. This was well worth the effort.

The most interesting of these discussions were about "affirmative action" and admissions criteria. Schools all emphasize how committed they are to "diversity." This flies in the face of the types of achievement most high school students have been pursuing. It is a shock to have high grades, high SAT scores, high AP scores and "extracurriculars" trumped by diversity.
Diversity does not mean simply "racial" diversity, though it becomes quite clear that some ethnic groups are evaluated by a different set of criteria regarding grades, SAT's and the like. It's one thing to learn about this in social studies, but feeling that you have lost a spot to a "less qualified" competitor is a real dose of real life. I didn't like it when it happened to me, and I said so, but I also pointed out that in the end, you go where you go and whether it works is up to YOU.

I think the other types of "diversity" bothered Rebecca more. The other diversity preferences are for athletes, foreign students, legacies, and geography. Bottom line -- being white, Jewish and from New York does not help.....unless you are applying outside the northeast. That may help for some, but if you want to be up here, you are in an uphill fight with the diversity boogie man. For what it's worth, I was accepted to (and attended) The University of Texas Law School back in the late 70's. It was, and still is, one of the best schools in the country, and at that time took only 10% from out of State. I didn't get into a bunch of comparable east coast law schools. How did I get into UT Law? Diversity.

Other maturity provoking discussions were about "what kind of career might you want," "what is important in a school," "what kind of college lifestyle do you prefer," and the like. This is a big step up the maturity ladder.

We also had discussions about family finances, something that had never been openly discussed before. As we were discussing this, we realized that when a child does not know or learn about finances, their maturity level will not develop as it should.

6. The process involves a lot of DECISIONS. What schools to apply to? What mix of "safe" and "target" and "reaches?" I can't speak for other families, but I can say that we had about 20 schools "in play" at various times. We made charts, and had talks about the schools. Schools were added, some were dropped, some came back on the list. At a certain point we got it down to 12, with a mixture of safes, targets and reaches.

7. Before the next round of decisions, there is something that some students have never faced before.....DISAPPOINTMENT. We had some of this; that's why some schools are "reaches." What can you say when a classmate who was not academically in your child's league (on any objective measure) gets into your child's first choice, for no other reason than "diversity." Well, you say "Fuck you, Brown" (Rebecca's quote, not mine, though I was proud of her for saying it), and you make your decision from the more worthy schools on your list.

8. When the smoke clears, you look at the acceptances, and DECIDE. This makes it sound like it happened quickly. For us, this was the hard part. We had it down to three. All were visited, all had strong points. We all researched, we all got input from many sources. We talked among ourselves. We contemplated on our own. Felicia and I agreed that while we would work together, ultimately Rebecca would make the decision.

It came down to Cornell, Wesleyan and Vassar.

I will never forget the process.

I am proud of her decision.

Wesleyan, Class of 2015

Primary Election - Post Mortem

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 22:04:00 +0000

I put a lot of effort (physical, intellectual and emotional) into supporting my friend Joe Fox in his bid to unseat the incumbent, Andrew Hevesi, in the recent Democratic primary for the 28th Assembly District here in New York.

We were fighting long odds, considering that New York has the highest percentage of incumbency re-election in the country. We were fighting an incumbent with a known name. A tainted name to be sure, but known nevertheless. The turnout was low, about 12%. This was not unexpected. It meant that in a district of approx 36,000 eligible Democratic voters, it would take about 3000 votes to win.

Fighting an incumbent in a primary presents some entrenched problems. An experienced local politician pointed out to me that in a local primary, the incumbent starts out with a 1000-0 lead. This is because ALL the people who work at the polls....those elderly women who sit at the tables, ALL vote for the incumbent because they perceive that their paid poll worker jobs come from the incumbent. Between those poll workers, and supervisors, and staff, and people who are active in local politics, you have 1000 people, and the one thing they ALL do is vote.

So, Joe Fox got 40% of the vote and was defeated by Andrew Hevesi. Andrew will be on the ballot in November, against an unknown Republican candidate and an unknown independent candidate. He will probably win, despite the fact that his father, former New York Comptroller Alan Hevesi, just plead guilty to ANOTHER felony involving corruption while in office, and despite the fact that Andrew is implicated in it and Alan obviously plead guilty to protect him. http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/07/hevesi-is-set-to-plead-guilty-to-felony/

I could say a lot about the Hevesi's, and the reasons Joe Fox would have made a great representative (while Andrew will continue to be a disgraceful embarrassment), but I'll save that for a future post.

I want to make some observations about the experience of participating in the Joe Fox campaign:

1. I decided to get involved because I was disgusted with Andrew Hevesi and the local political scene, and respected that Joe wanted to actually DO something about it. I admit it, I secretly wanted to run for the seat from the moment I learned that the local politicos had rigged a special election to install Andrew back in 2005. I couldn't and didn't do it, but Joe had a burning desire to make this run. I knew that I knew enough people, and had enough political savvy, to at least help him in a meaningful way. I appreciated having input in a lot of the behind the scenes decisions in the campaign. There was a stretch of time when I had some fear that if Joe lost, my involvement would "come back to haunt me"......politically, in court, or in some way. That fear left me over time, and now I'll say it for any of the local politicos to see......I helped Joe Fox, I'm proud of it, and I'd do it again.

2. Hindsight is 20-20, and analyzing the campaign, there may have been a few things we could have done to change the results and pull off a major upset. I will not list them here, because if Joe runs again, surely he will use what was learned. I will say this though.....if Andrew is reelected, ends up running again in two years, and remains as ineffectual as he has been, he can and will be beaten.

3. Felicia and I were official "poll watchers" at PS 139. I was present at 6 AM when the doors opened, so I got to witness the poll workers dealing with the new voting machines for the first time. There was some confusion at first, but the system was up and functioning by 7 AM. I thought the system worked well for the most part. People are often resistant to change, but I did not encounter anyone who could not figure out how to vote. The only thing I did not like was a lack of privacy for the voters. I observed situations where people were being "helped" to vote, and this was all out in the open.

4. I spent most of my day on the corner of 63rd Drive and Wetherole Street, attempting to talk to "voters" on their way to and from work. I say attempting because the vast majority of people would not talk to me. There seemed to be a few main reasons......
- Many did not speak a word of English. Living in Rego Park, this was not a big surprise.
- Many were non-citizens, and proud of it. Also not a big surprise.
- Many were entranced in I-Pod isolation. Probably listening to last years American Idol winners, or "rap" (as if it were music).
- Some proudly told me they never vote.
- A few told me they were voting for Hevesi, because his father had been railroaded and "all he did was use State money to take his wife to the doctor".
- A few offered memorable excuses, such as "I already voted" (this was at 7 AM). Another said "I am going to vote....tomorrow."

5. During primary day, I split my time between campaigning out on the street, and poll watching inside the school. This was permitted, as long as I did not campaign inside the school or wear anything that would indicate I was campaigning. This simply meant when I went inside, I had to take off my Joe Fox name tag. I got involved in some poll watching excitement when I noticed Andrew Hevesi campaigning right in front of the school, in the area where you are clearly not supposed to do that. I was outside at the time, and walked right past him on my way inside to report him. I said hello to him, and he said hi back, since he did not know who I was (which REALLY pissed me off). I then did what a poll watcher is supposed to do....I told the policeman on duty and the local election supervisor that Andrew Hevesi was electioneering in the restricted area. I then watched them confront him, watched him argue back, and then leave the area in disgust. Andrew, in case you are wondering how that happened....it was ME.

6. When the polls closed, as poll watcher I got to see the results come off the machines, and was responsible for calling the results in to headquarters. It took awhile for the officials to figure out how to get the results off the machines and post them. After working from 6 AM to 9 PM I was anxious to see the results. Now I know that when they say on election night that "x% of precincts are reporting", they are talking about poll-watchers like me. I was pretty disappointed, though not shocked, when I saw that Joe got about 40% at PS 139. I called it in to headquarters and asked whether this was consistent with results from other polling places. They said it was, and I knew right there we had lost. I was angry for about 10 minutes. My rant was along these lines....."how could people be so stupid? how could people be so apathetic? People get what they deserve....etc" Then, I was concerned about how Joe would take it. When I drove over to headquarters and saw that Joe accepted things like the uber-mensch he is, I began to feel great pride at what we had done.

7. Prior to the campaign, I knew Joe for about 30 years, but I'd say we were casual friends at most, and I knew his family enough to say hello, but that was about it. I now consider Joe and his family my good friends. So, in addition to the actual campaign experience, the personal aspect was enough to make the whole experience worthwhile.

So, the primaries are over and the election season is on.

I foresee some changes and shifts coming, across the State and nationally, and personally I think it is needed.

But here in the 28th A.D., it will be "same old, same old". What a shame.

Joe Fox for NYS Assembly

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 01:46:00 +0000

Dear Friends -

Next Tuesday, September 14th, there is a primary. In many ways, it’s not an exciting Democratic primary, as the Governor’s nomination is uncontested and the Attorney General race has a non-descript field of five. However, for those of us in the 28th Assembly District, this may be the most important Democratic primary in many years. That is because my good friend Joe Fox has taken a courageous action by challenging the incumbent, Andrew Hevesi. I have never been involved in a local political campaign before, but I am strongly supporting Joe Fox in this primary. For the reasons stated below, I am asking you to support Joe as well.

Approximately five years ago, our Assemblyman Michael Cohen abruptly resigned, under mysterious circumstances. Shortly thereafter, it was announced that 31 year old Andrew Hevesi would be nominated for the seat, and would be on the ballot in a “special election”. This was an orchestrated political maneuver, which essentially gave our Assembly seat to an inexperienced paralegal, whose only “qualifications” for the job were being the son of criminally convicted political figure Alan Hevesi.

Andrew Hevesi has never had to actually RUN for his seat. He was re-elected in exactly the same way he initially came to his office, being put on the ballot without challenge. Up until this year, nobody has had the courage or the support or the qualifications to contest the “powers that be” for this seat.Had Andrew Hevesi taken this seat and actually done something useful with it, I would support him, notwithstanding the undemocratic way he obtained the seat. But the fact is, he has done NOTHING with this opportunity, other than continue to be part of the problem in Albany. We have a disgraceful State legislature, which perpetuates every bad aspect of cronyism and corrupt politics. Our Assemblyman has not taken a leadership position on ANY meaningful issue or legislation during his five years in office. He speaks through “spokespeople”, and takes his lead from the “higher ups” on every important issue.

If my interest were strictly “anti-incumbent, I would not be writing. I want to place this primary in a positive light, by telling you about Joe Fox…………..I know Joe personally for over 30 years. He is a successful attorney in private practice, concentrating primarily in real estate, business transactions and bankruptcy law. He knows what it means to start and grow a business, and he knows what it means to help businesses and individuals who have REAL problems. He is down to earth, approachable, and effective in everything he does…………He is a homeowner in Forest Hills, and with his wife Helaine has raised two great children who are in their early twenties. He knows about the issues facing our schools, about the costs of higher education and its impact on families, and about employment issues facing our community………….He has been active in MANY local community issues, and it was never with an eye on politics, it was always because he wanted to use his skills to HELP…………He is not a political neophyte, as he was involved in economic development during the Koch administration. He left the political arena at that time, to pursue private law practice.

To say that he is NOT a professional politician is actually high praise, and at the same time, he is not some kid who is going to take marching orders from others. He will look out for US, first and foremost. He has decided that NOW is the time for him to give back, and to return to the political arena, precisely because he has something worthwhile to offer. HE IS WELL QUALIFIED and HE WANTS TO SERVE.This is the criteria which should be used to evaluate a candidate. Our Assembly seat should not be “given” to someone who is not qualified and doesn’t seem to want to serve.In a local primary race, the turnout is likely to be small. I live and work in this district, and my sense is this election will be very close. EVERY vote will count!!! If you have any questions about this letter, or about Joe Fox’s candidacy, please call me at the number above, or on my cell phone 718-216-5663. Please vote in this important election.

Sincerely,

Barry Seidel

Concert Review - Crosby, Stills & Nash at Jones Beach

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 15:40:00 +0000

After my recent deja vu experience, it seemed obvious we were supposed to see Crosby, Stills & Nash at Jones Beach. I was pleasantly surprised to find $20 tickets online. I asked the kids if they wanted to go, and they did (we have cool kids!), so I got four tickets.

On a nice summer night, there is no better venue than the Jones Beach theatre. We had one of those nights, about 75 and breezy, with a clear sky and a bright moon.

My daughter Rebecca (17) was somewhat familiar with Crosby, Stills & Nash, but of course I had to go on and on about how they are "cultural icons of the 60's".........part of a "dying breed of social commentators"......"they were at Woodstock".......and "they did the song OHIO, which is about Kent State, and it changed my world view". She accepts my commentary, but I heard myself sounding like a big "blah blah blah", so I decided to can it. She did ask me if I thought they would play "Deja Vu", and I said I hoped so.

Here are three guys in their late 60's, who still play and sing at the highest level and with tremendous feeling. The only noticeable concession is that Stephen Stills can't sing as well as he used to. However, they adjust their song selection to accommodate this, and he still plays a mean guitar. He was attacking his guitar solos, almost in defiance of his lowered place in the singing.

David Crosby and Graham Nash can still sing and harmonize like nobody else. David Crosby did most of the intros and talking, and after a few songs said "We always do one Neil Young song, and we always have a big discussion deciding which one to do, so here's tonight's Neil Young song." They then did "Long May You Run". It's a great song, though it is such a Neil Youngish song that I kept thinking "This song is missing something.....Neil Young". You can't replace this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nszR0tfp4Es , but it was still nice.

I was also surprised that they played many covers, including Norwegian Wood, Ruby Tuesday, Midnight Rider, Behind Blue Eyes and Girl From the North Country (a Bob Dylan song). These were well chosen and very enjoyable.

About halfway through the show, David Crosby said, "You know you can't come to one of our concerts without us playing Wooden Ships, but before we do, we want to get weird on you." Then they played Deja Vu. As we used to say at Stony Brook......"Pretty heavy". Here's a youtube of them performing the song 20 years ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiDOMuhpqUo It will give you the flavor, but I like the way they do it now even better.

The best song of the night was one that I had not considered a favorite, but I now change my mind. It was Guinevere. It was haunting and beautiful, and it also received the ultimate compliment when halfway through I noticed Felicia had a tear in her eye. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsmC1zrpwfQ&feature=related (Not our show, just a representative sample).

They did not do every song in their catalogue, and while everyone expected them to do "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" in the encore, they did not. When I looked at youtube clips of this song, it struck me that it's a Stephen Stills song that he probably can't sing to a satisfactory level. No big deal. Here is an interesting Wikipedia entry about the song, with some history and facts and I never knew http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suite:_Judy_Blue_Eyes

After the concert Rebecca wondered what these guys looked like when they were young. I had a great time looking at youtube clips and showing them to her. Here are a few.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az9Az6S1nus (Teach Your Children)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WGF5sA-3c (Suite: Judy Blue Eyes...at Woodstock)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QsSc95pPPY&feature=fvst (this one is "Down By the River", performed on the David Steinberg show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XWmwvT8bCw ("Almost Cut My Hair", in 2009, and a good sample of what they look like now)

Comments on this blog are always welcome.

Strange but True, Deja Vu

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 22:42:00 +0000

On Saturday we decided to drive down to Princeton to take a tour of the school. Princeton is a long-shot for anyone, but Rebecca warrants an application, so it was worth spending a day.

I have been to the campus many times, since my Mom lived the last 10 years of her life in Plainsboro, New Jersey, the next town from Princeton. I had not been around there since 1998, the last time being when Brian and I finished cleaning out Mom's apartment. I did not have any particular trepidation about going back there, I just haven't had a reason.

Our GPS suggested getting off at Jersey Turnpike Exit 9, and then taking Route 1 for 18 miles to Princeton. This seemed like a stupid way to go (too much Route 1 with lights), so I decided to ignore the GPS and go to Exit 8A (9 miles to that Exit) and go through Plainsboro to Princeton. Naturally, as soon as I passed Exit 9 we encountered heavy traffic all the way to Exit 8A, but in hindsight, I think we were supposed to get stuck in traffic.

When we got off at Exit 8A, we started driving on the very familiar Route 130. I had driven this route MANY times, and felt a warm feeling when we came upon the first cornfields. We were listening to a local Princeton radio station. Just as we approached the first cornfield, the Crosby, Stills & Nash song Deja Vu started playing.

I had to pull over for a moment. Deja Vu during my deja vu was a lot to handle. After I composed myself, I turned it up and kept driving. The cornfields were beautiful. Here's a youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiDOMuhpqUo If you are not familiar, check it out.

Lyrics:
If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what to do.
Don't you?
If I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With all of you.
And I feel
Like I've been here before
Feel Like I've been here before And you know It makes me wonder
What's going on under the ground
Do you know?
Don't you wonder?What's going on down under you.

We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before

Softball Playoff Update

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 03:12:00 +0000

The game lived up to its hype. The championship round matches up the two rival Lake Success teams. I'm a ringer on my team, an "outsider", but the other teams never care because I catch and bat 11th. Of course, if they realized I am our teams secret weapon and closet manager, they'd be seeking to bar me. I don't know if the teams have names or anything.....in my mind there's only "our team" and the "other" team. I love my team, but I don't feel the rivalry the way my teammates do. However, if my team is psyched, I'm psyched. If the rival is talking trash about our team (I heard one of them say we were 8-1 underdogs in the series), I'm mad and I'm playing hard.

The first game drew a big crowd, with wine drinking wives and extended family and friends. Lots of yelling and cheering. I admit it, the biggest crowd I've played in front of in a long time. It had both teams playing intensely and at a high level.

Softball wise, everybody knows what this series comes down to. The teams are evenly matched (personally I think we have significantly better players), but the other team has a great pitcher. OK, maybe "great" is too strong. He's a "B" league pitcher, pitching in a "C" league. He is MUCH better than any other pitcher in our league. He throws hard, and he never gives in and throws an easy one. He never "lays the first one in" to try and get ahead. His control is good enough to throw hard on any count. I actually like hitting against him, because he seems nice, and it's a challenge.

The other team also plays a smart defense, suited to their pitcher. They play their outfield very shallow, especially against weaker hitters, and they play their right fielder practically on the right field line. I will also say something nice about the other team.....they batted all the players who showed up. This makes it harder to score runs, as the better hitters bat less often, and some weaker hitters are using up outs. After all, in a seven inning game there are only 21 outs, and they all count. End of nice comments. I'd love to teach the opponents a lesson, the lesson being "it ain't much to brag about when you boost your mediocre team with a ringer pitcher". I do realize that regardless of the outcome of the series, lessons like this are lost on some people.

The game turned out to be a pitchers duel. We expected to have some trouble scoring runs. Not only is their pitcher good, but we went with a long lineup too. What was most impressive was that our pitching and defense made it a battle.

Both teams played tight defense and were making all the plays, with few errors. Going into the top of the 7th, we were down 2-1. In the top of the 7th we scratched out a run to tie the game at 2-2, and had a man on second with two outs. Had we managed one more hit to take the lead, I think we'd have clamped down and won. However, we didn't get it, and went to the bottom of the 7th, in the field with a tie score.

It's never comfortable for the visitors when the home team is batting in a tie game. There is no margin for error. With a man on first and one out, one of their batters hit a long drive to right center. I knew it was trouble right away, and I saw that as our shortstop went out for the relay, the runner was going to score easily, all the way from first. When the throw came in I didn't even bother to catch it, because the winning run had already crossed the plate and the other team was celebrating.

Except.....our third baseman (Jeff) was screaming at me "GET THE BALL!!!". I yelled back "WHY?!?!?" He said "APPEAL AT THIRD". So I got the ball, and noticed the umpire was still on the field, a good sign. I threw the ball to Jeff at third and looked at the umpire. He mumbled "You have to say something". I said "Appeal, he missed third base." And then....
the umpire made a fist with his right hand and and said "OUT".

Of course, the other team went nuts. Lots of screaming, calling the play "bush league" and the like. I had a good vantage point to hear all this nonsense, and at one point I turned to one of the apoplectic opponents and said "How hard would it have been to touch third base?" As an aside, I was told later by their third base coach that the runner had "missed it by a mile".

So it was back to baseball. Now we had a man on second and two out. We decided to walk the number six hitter and pitch to the next batter. I guess there was some poetic justice in what happened next.....the batter hit a single to left, and the winning run scored.

So, the 8-1 underdogs lost a nail-biter, 3-2.

Nothing to be ashamed of. Next game is Tuesday.

We can beat these guys!!! Let's get it on!!!!!

Softball Playoffs

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 16:06:00 +0000

Our team made the playoffs. Our opening playoff game was a single elimination against a team called "The Rookies". In the regular season we had split with them, winning the first game and then having them kill us in the second game. However, we played a flawless game and advanced to the next round.

Now we were in a "two out of three" series against "Sterling". Average age 35; strong and fast and aggressive. Their pitcher was pretty good too; very competitive and threw hard when he was ahead in the count.

In the first game we had a solid defensive effort, got some timely hitting, and some sloppy defense from the other side, and won 12-8.

In the second game we had a rude awakening, when we realized Sterling had been missing a few players the first game. Suddenly we saw guys hitting the ball to places we had never seen balls hit, and a shortstop who was catching EVERYTHING, both on the ground and in the air. We also got treated to the opponent taking extra bases and daring us to stop them. In short, they were treating us like "old guys", which we are. We lost this one 13-7, but it was really not a close game.

Going into the deciding game, the sentiment on our side was "What can we possibly do to beat these guys?" A few things were obvious:

- We had to play solid defense, and keep the extra bases to a minimum.
- We had to run the bases well, and be selectively aggressive. (We did notice they had a few weak outfield arms and could be pressured into throwing the ball around).
- We needed to hit well enough to make them make the plays. In other words, stay away from pop-ups and fly balls......so when in doubt.....DOWN AND HARD.
- We needed a good pitching strategy.....because in the prior game they killed us with long balls.

As catcher I was directly involved in pitching strategy. Our pitcher, Rick, has great control. It's a great feature, but when he becomes predictable, it is a downfall against strong hitters. He can throw harder when ahead in the count, but he is not overpowering. He does have an effective change-up, but again, when it becomes predictable it yields tremendous home runs.

One thing I noticed about the long hits in the second game, they were all to center field. They were also all on outside pitches. In the second game our left fielder didn't have a single fly ball hit his way. Very unusual, especially since Rick is not overpowering and throws change-ups. I suggested to Rick that we throw more pitches inside, even change-ups. I know as a hitter I hate inside pitches. They tie you up and take away your power. Outside pitches are much easier to hit hard because you can extend your arms and hit the ball on the best part of the bat. Throwing inside is easier said than done, but Rick agreed with this strategy and said he would try it. He also suggested that when he threw his change-up he would throw it with a higher arc, and even have some float in high, to try to tempt the aggressive Sterling hitters. I agreed with this idea. I also suggested that every so often he let loose a wild and hard pitch, maybe even over the batters head, just to keep them unsettled. He agreed to try it.

Our change in approach was VERY effective. Adding the inside pitches worked. There were quite a few fly outs to left and left center, and some infield pop-ups (which happens when big hitters try to hit inside pitches up the middle). Some of the pop-ups were on high change-ups. Rick threw a few high and inside too, and I sensed behind the plate that the hitters were not nearly as comfortable as they were in the prior game.

We had some timely hitting throughout the game, and the fact is, in the later innings Sterling made some errors on what should have been easy plays. However, this is not "luck" on our end, we applied pressure by forcing them to make plays and by hustling.

In the 6th inning I was involved in a big play in the field. The opposing pitcher also turned out to be one of their best hitters. In the 3 game series he had 10 hits in 11 at bats (no lie). Almost every hit was a line shot up the middle, and he also ran hard out of the box and went for a double every time. He was able to make it because our outfielders had to play so deep. When he came up in the 6th inning, we were ahead 7-6 and they had a man on second. He lined a single up the middle which scored the runner and tied the game 7-7. However, this time we held him at first. The next batter hit a single to right center, and I had a feeling the runner on first would try to score. Sure enough, he rounded third and never stopped, BUT, our shortstop (Mike) went out and got the relay from right, and realized the runner on first was probably coming. He threw me a strike, which I received in enough time to trap the overly aggressive runner between home and third. What ensued was an extended run down play, which ended with me tagging the runner out at home. The run down went on so long that the runner seemed exhausted. Run down plays SHOULD result in an out, but at our level they are by no means routine. It felt great to end their rally this way.

In the top of the seventh we scored two to make in 9-7. This did not feel comfortable, and it wasn't. They strung together a few hits and tied the game at 9-9. They also had the winning run on second with two outs. Time for some strategy. I went to the mound and suggested to Rick that we intentionally walk the hitter. Rick wanted to "pitch around him", but I really did not like that idea. There were a few reasons: I like setting up a force at third. I also thought that the next batter (the opposing catcher) was not as good a hitter as the batter. In addition, the next batter was a dead pull hitter, who had hit a triple down the left field line earlier in the game, and I thought he might change his swing with a force at third. We called in the infielders and collectively agreed to intentionally walk the batter. With first and second, the next batter hit a ground ball back to Rick, for the third out, and the game went into extra innings. Personally, I think he hit the comebacker because he altered his swing due to the intentional walk, but hey, I don't need to take credit.....walking that guy was the right move any way you look at it.

In the top of the 8th, we scored three times to make it 12-9. I had a small role in this. With a man on first and no outs, I hit a ground ball to third. My thought as I ran to first was "Oh shit, I just hit into a double play....run hard!!". I ran hard, figuring I would be trying to beat a relay throw on a double play. Instead, as I reached first I heard a lot of yelling, which turned out to be our fans cheering when the third baseman's throw to second pulled the second baseman off the bag. Another example of "down and hard" being better than balls in the air. Our next batter hit a single, which scored a run and sent me to third. I then scored on a sac fly.

So we went to the bottom of the 8th with a three run lead. Before the inning started Rick said to me "These guys are so aggressive they will probably still be swinging for the fences, even though they need baserunners. I'm gonna let 'em do that. What do you think?" I said "Go for it." We had our outfielders playing VERY deep, enabling them to catch very long drives for very big outs. Had Sterling just hit some line drives, they would have been doubles, that's how deep we were playing. But I have no problem letting opponents beat themselves. They went down one-two-three on two fly balls and a grounder to short.

I've played in a lot of games over the years, but this one was the most exciting and most gratifying.

Now we advance to the finals, against our arch-rivals. They lost only once during the regular season, they have a very strong pitcher, and they beat us twice. Can we come up with a winning strategy?

We'll sure try.

Still Playin' Softball

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:46:00 +0000

I play on a softball team. Our games are on Tuesday at 6:30, but this week we played Monday and Tuesday to make up for a rained out game. This is fast pitch with balls and strikes (not arc pitch, not windmill). I love this style of play because the strategy and flow of the game is much like "real baseball". That is because all three aspects of the game (pitching, fielding and hitting) are important. Our league is evenly matched, with most of the games being close. We have some slugfests of the 15-14 variety, but some nights we'll have a 4-3 game too.

I'd say the average age on our team is late 40's. One or two guys are relatively in their prime, but the rest of us are at various levels of decline. Some guys were surely excellent players when they were younger, while some were average, and the declines are in proportion to where we used to be.

I've been playing catcher the past few seasons. In softball this is usually the position to play when you aren't too good in the field. This is probably true for me, but what I try to do is play catcher really well. I observe the other team's hitters, try to figure out the best strategy to pitch them, and discuss it with our pitcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeiYnVScg7w&feature=related However, we don't have many big meetings at the mound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lptsSTTWLVQ&feature=related I check out our fielding alignment and suggest adjustments when needed. I keep the fielders alert as to number of outs, and situations. About once a game there is a foul pop-up to go after (they are harder to catch than it looks, lots of spin). Fairly regularly there are plays at the plate. These are also harder than they look, and obviously, when there's a play at the plate its always important to the outcome of the game.

I always had a good eye at the plate and could hit pretty well. You'd never know it now, but I used to hit with some pop. Now I try to hit line drives, and sometimes will look for an outside pitch I can hit to right field. In fast pitch you have to be aware of the count, and if you are behind in the count, some pitchers will throw pretty hard, or try to get you to swing at tempting pitches out of the zone. Sometimes if I think a good pitcher is trying to get ahead of me, and if I think the first pitch is the best one I'll get, I'll jump on it. Sometimes I'll take a strike, just to look the pitcher over. I try to think about what I'm doing, but sometimes you can think too much, and it's better to just try to hit the ball "down and hard".

I have a few observations about softball, for what they are worth.....

There is a big difference between being 35 and 55.

If you hit the ball on the ground you have a much better chance to get on base than if you hit it in the air. The same could be said to Jose Reyes.

You can't win without good pitching.

If you throw to the wrong bases, run the bases poorly, or play sloppily, you won't win.

With first and second, on a ground ball to shortstop, the best play is usually a force at third.

With a man on second, and a single to the outfield, the best play is almost always to concede the run and hold the batter at first base.

If you are playing with 10 in the field (very common in softball), you have to decide whether to play four outfielders, or three plus a "short fielder". We usually play four, but in last nights game the other team killed us with a short fielder.

When the players on your team are nice, and the league is generally nice, it is much more fun. I played a few years for a Knights of Pythias Lodge team, where the people were not so nice, and I stopped playing because it just wasn't fun.

When I played for the Lodge team I was in my early 30's. I played shortstop and batted lead-off, in a pretty good league. Not only would the guys on my present team not believe this, I sometimes think I must have imagined it!

It would be nice to capture some magic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj2pXikeDRg

Random Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 22:48:00 +0000

I have watched some of the World Cup Soccer matches. The skill and athleticism is impressive. But what is the story with that humming sound throughout all the games? I heard the announcers say something about some noisemakers the South African fans are using. It is REALLY annoying. The networks must be furious about this........OK......I googled the question, and here's the story....its the "vuvuzela"
http://www.soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/13/vuvuzela-ban-could-come-to-world-cup/

Another thing about the World Cup. I kind of like the smug and well spoken British announcers. They announce the games like a golf match.

Last thing about the World Cup, and soccer in general. As a spectator sport, and a sport to talk about during a game, and for strategy.....gimme BASEBALL. Not even close.

Next topic - gulf oil spill. Man, there's a lot of oil down there! I don't understand the geology of how so much is shooting out of there for so long. Is this a typical well? An amazing well? How long would it have taken to "harvest" all the oil that's shooting out of there, had it not blown up? When I was in law school in Texas, a popular elective was "O&G" (oil & gas). I didn't take that class because I didn't see much use for it in Queens, but now I wish I knew the answers to my questions. All I really know about O&G is what I learned from the Beverly Hillbillies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOGM6gHvao

While I was "researching" the Beverly Hillbillies, I came across the theme from another cool show. All I can say is...they don't make em like this any more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4&feature=related

I'm always interested in what historical or cultural things people of different ages are aware of. The other day I mentioned "Joan Baez" in my office. Three people under age 35 "never heard of her". Is it just me, or is this evidence that we are in serious trouble?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFvkhzkS4bw&feature=related When I was a kid, my mom took guitar lessons. She wanted to play and sing like Joan Baez, and to my recollection, she did a good job of it.
Bonus clip: I love this song, Diamonds and Rust....it's about Bob Dylan...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMHSbcd_qI&feature=related

I am usually a big fan of "cover" versions of songs, but I don't know about the Judas Priest version of Diamonds and Rust http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIC7KQPDuDc&feature=related

Last topic for today. The Mets are fun this year. They fight hard and they have some nice players. It should be a great summer.

Who Should Really Make a Will?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 01:33:00 +0000

The answer to this question starts with a question.....

"Who would inherit from you if you did not make a Will?"

When I interview someone who wants to make a Will, the first group of questions I ask is THAT. There is a good reason I start with this. It usually lets me know who the "players" are. Not only that, later on, the people on my little family tree are the people who must be notified when I try to probate the will.

People are sometimes taken aback when I start off questioning them about their closest family members, and sometimes they even say "But I don't want those people in my Will". This is fine with me, but I still have to know who they are. This is because anyone who would inherit if there were no will, is someone I have to notify when the Will is being probated. Legally, we call these people "adversely affected" by the Will. They are the only people who have standing to contest a Will. Even if they are not going to be in the Will, I need to know who they are. If it's a close relation, say a child or a sibling, I will usually ask WHY they are being left out, and I make a written note of it in my file.

When somebody is left out and squawks after the person dies, having a note about it in the drafting attorneys file is VERY important. When I represent someone in a potential will contest, one thing I hate to see is a note in the drafting attorneys file explaining WHY the person is being left out. If I see this it is usually enough reason for me not to take on the will contest.

I am amazed at how often people do not consider the question "Who would inherit from me if I did not make a Will?" The place I usually see this is Estates where there is no Will, and distant relatives are inheriting. I see this often, sometimes with a lot of money involved, and I always think "Did the person never think of what the result of not making a Will would be?" "Could they have intended THIS?" Did they not have a friend or a charity that was more deserving than the cousin once removed (who never met the decedent)?

Think this never happens?

I GET THESE ALL THE TIME!!!

I frequently represent distant relatives in this position, and this is often a major score for them. I like these cases too, but at some point in the case it always occurs to me (and it sometimes occurs to people who actually knew the decedent) "they should have made a Will".

I have also had many cases where people told me "the decedent talked about making a Will", or "he told me he was going to make a Will", but for some reason they never did. I think there are several reasons for this....

Procrastination - an intent to do it in the future, and just not dealing with it.
Superstition - a fear that doing it will cause illness or death.
Cheapness - not wanting to pay for a Will.
Delusions of immortality - more people have this than one might think.
Monumental inconsiderateness - totally not caring what happens to others after you go.

Strangely, Wills are most often made by people in a tight nuclear family....say a married couple with two children. There are good reasons for such people to make Wills too, but the fact is, the results if they don't are not so different then if they do.

People who don't or can't ask the question "Who would inherit from me you if I did not make a Will?" are often some combo of cheap, procrastinating, superstitious, monumentally inconsiderate, and/or delusional (vis a vis their mortality) individuals. I don't mind this all that much, these end up being my largest fee cases, but.....it sure is puzzling.

Maybe they "just can't deal with it", and on many levels I understand and respect this. I also know that if you are the person someone SHOULD be putting in their Will, it is a difficult subject to bring up. I've had people ask me what to do in this situation. Not only is there is no easy answer, but every situation is unique.

I will say this.....if the person has talked about it, and you think they WANT to do it, help them get it done. But, as we say in poker, don't overplay your hand.

Yeah, this gets complicated. But not nearly as complicated as when procrastination wins out, and the person who should have made a will doesn't.

Next post - something not death related!!

So and So Died, and....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 31 May 2010 17:19:00 +0000

Every case has a story, a set of facts that answer the question "What is this about?"

That is always the first question. The first question I ask a new client. It's the first question I address when telling an associate or paralegal or secretary about a new matter, and the first question judges ask whenever you appear in court.

In the last few years I've been doing a lot of probate and estate administration cases. I always had a few of these in general practice, and was surprised how much I liked them. Sometimes when I tell people I do "probate and estate administration" they say "Oh, estate planning?" Well....no, the cases I work on are usually cases where they did not do any fancy estate planning, and then....they died. This turns out to be most cases where people die, and since none of us is getting out of here alive (something I have said to clients many times, only to have them look at me like I had said something either incredibly stupid, or quite profound), it seemed like it might be a law practice growth field.

It is also sufficiently complicated that every lawyer is not trying to get into it (I like to think it's because of the complexity, but perhaps other lawyers find it distasteful). I find it challenging and not distasteful. I even find there is something satisfying in bringing a successful completion to someone's affairs. So, I now focus most of my attention on these cases, and have set up a probate website www.queensprobate.com. Now I have an office full of cases where the answer to the question "What is this about?" is always the same....

"So-and-so died, and......"

Thus begins a probate and estate administration case. In New York, probate means there is a will, estate administration means there isn't. Either way the dead person's assets are going SOMEWHERE. Ah, but where, and how, and who is involved, and what's going to happen?

Although the stories all start out the same (somebody died and...), after that it is never the same. Sometimes all falls into place, everybody is lovey-dovey, and it's just a matter of knowing what papers to file. Sometimes these cases are dysfunctional family feuds, with acrimony and bitterness that would humble the worst matrimonial case. If there are anger, jealousy, and other toxic emotions involved in a contested matrimonial, contested estate matters have that and more. It is not uncommon to find that not only is there anger, jealousy and other toxic emotions existing among numerous family members(generally the children of an older person), but that none of it has been talked about, often for 30 years or more. Then, the dreaded unspoken about thing happens (so and so dies), and now all the things that have not been talked about MUST be talked about. It would be easy to say that these cases all come down to money, and many of them do, but it is also money infused with deep-seated emotional and psychological issues.

I stopped doing matrimonial cases many years ago, precisely because I did not like being involved in such bitterness. One of the things I hated about matrimonial cases was, they never ended. The parties were always coming back for more. Estates are not like that. Even when they are crazy and bitter, at some point they end, the dead remain dead, and the living move on. And no matter what they did during the case, as they fought over their relatives money, none of them are getting out of here alive either.

Perhaps I love the ultimate justice of this area of practice.

Tomorrow - surprising answers to the question "Who should really make a Will?"