But you may be underachieving in how you coach your team at work.

Research with more than 3500 executives discovered that most are much less effective than they imagine. All the executives interviewed considered themselves above average as coaches.

Yet 24% were rated in the bottom third by their colleagues.

Leaders don’t realise they are underachieving

‘Coaching old-style’ is a one-on-one meeting with a member of your team or a colleague where you tell, advise, direct or instruct – maybe in a supportive way. And it is not effective enough for today’s needs.

If you are using old-style coaching, you won’t be wasting time but you will be under-achieving.

You will be encouraging others to look to YOU for solutions.

What companies need now is ‘Non-Directive Coaching.’

What’s the difference?

Non-Directive Coaching means:

• Instead of providing answers, you ask for ideas and listen with an open mind
• Instead of telling or dictating what should be done, you listen without allowing yourself to think of solutions and with belief that others can produce better ones
• Instead of asking questions where you know the answer, ask new questions and let them explore their own thinking.

This way you get different answers, other solutions, new ideas – and new buy-in.

Gain better results, many more benefits

Non-directive coaching gives better results than old-style coaching, including:

• Employee buy-in
• Motivation and engagement
• New solutions
• Improved and more creative thinking
• Discretionary effort from a real sense of buy-in and ownership.

This doesn’t mean you can never make a suggestion but it does mean changing your approach.

Get how-to help in my book on coaching for the workplace
‘How To Coach Your Team Into Superstars’ 

Ditch old-style coaching

It’s time to ditch old-style coaching and embrace what works now.

For training, click here Coaching Skills for Leaders – training

The post Some leaders think they coach – when they don’t appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

The post Lighten up appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

Alan describes out how the ‘servant leader’ engages and develops others – a leadership world away from the ‘hero leader’ of old.

He believes the Queen epitomised the ‘servant leader’ and picks out some of the specific characteristics of this style that she exemplified.

I’ve copied his text here, verbatim.

“Service

Two years after the war ended, five years before ascending to the throne, on her 21st birthday Elizabeth gave a famous speech where she pledged to the British people that, regardless of what happens in the future, she would dedicate her life to serving them.

And that’s exactly what she did until the very end.

For the next seven decades, she worked almost every day, going up and down the country, doing the unglamorous job of monarchy; attending endless openings of local supermarkets, community swimming pools, libraries and exhibitions like the one above.

Honouring others

Albert Einstein once said, “I speak to everyone the same way, whether he is a garbage man or the president of the university.” This simple statement perfectly encapsulates the concept of purposefully honouring others before yourself.

The Queen demonstrated genuine respect for all people. Respect defines the underlying attitude of a servant leader.

Empowering others

“It’s amazing what you can achieve if you don’t care who gets the credit.”

This quote by former President Harry S. Truman exemplifies how leaders achieve their greatest success – through the empowerment of the people surrounding them. Again, she did that frequently, most recently crediting Paddington Bear!

Listening

Listening receptively to what is being said and unsaid. Listening also encompasses hearing one’s own inner voice.

Listening, coupled with periods of reflection, is essential to the growth and well-being of the servant leader. As so many people have said, and as I experienced, she was genuinely interested in others.

Empathy

The servant leader strives to understand and empathise with others. People are accepted and recognised for their special and unique spirits. The Queen met countless people in her lifetime; over and over again they, (as can I), attested to ‘feeling seen and heard’.

Awareness

General awareness, and especially self-awareness, strengthens the servant leader. Awareness lends itself to being able to view most situations from a more integrated, holistic position. Again, the Queen demonstrated this throughout her life, none more so than her inspirational speech during the COVID pandemic.

She also consistently demonstrated:

Duty

Doing things she’d rather not do, because it needed to be done and there’s no better candidate than yourself, so you do it anyway.

Stoicism

It can’t be easy being Queen, but her mantra was famously, “Never complain, never explain”. She never allowed her personal feelings to get in the way of the job.

Moderation

Even though she was one of the richest women in the world, one never got the feeling from her that she was that fussed about luxury. Yes, she lived in a palace (and a castle), but that was only for stately reasons.

Though she dressed nicely, they were handmade dresses made by a dressmaker nobody had ever heard of, they weren’t flashy designer labels.

Impartiality

She always served whatever political party was in power to the best of her abilities, whatever her personal preferences might have been.

Continuity

She reigned for 70 years. This means she was on the throne before most living Britons were born, reassuringly so.

Whatever your views are on the monarchy, Queen Elizabeth II was an outstanding leader, from whom we can all learn a huge amount.“

I agree we can. Thank you, Alan, for your thoughts and clarity.

And now, dear reader, if you’d like my help in developing or changing your leadership style, contact me and we’ll book a time to speak. I’ve helped others – maybe I can help you.

The post The Servant Leader appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

winning

There’s no doubt that winning is special. Especially if it’s involved hard work against the odds.

And you don’t have to be a goal scorer in the final at Wembley to feel that glow of achievement when you win.

Invincible

Yes, winning gives you a glorious glow – and knowledge – of achievement. Your team, your family and friends rejoice with you. You feel invincible, up for other challenges.

And here’s a happy thought: create your own definition of winning and you get many more chances to celebrate achievement.

Get that glow of success

Get it from succeeding in ways that matter to you. Don’t limit yourself to the targets agreed with your boss, your shareholders or society at large.

Create your own goals where perhaps you can score a quicker win. Or one that will make everything else easier.

What goals do you want to score?

I’ve worked with a seasoned President and CEO whose personal goal was to sound as confident presenting in English to a roomful of global shareholders as he did in speaking his own language.
With the Finance Director who led her global team during the pandemic with aplomb but still was taken less than seriously by her boss. Her goal was to boost self-belief, then score a CFO role before she reached 40.

With a senior VP, dedicated to her job and superb at it, who had lost respect for her CEO, the guy she reported to daily. As a result, she was boiling with anger when we met. Her goals were 1) to stop feeling angry 2) to find a way to collaborate constructively with him.

With the head of a small family business who felt his father was still the real boss. Through coaching together, he stepped fully into his role as CEO. It made a huge difference.

How to start: name it

First, name the goal. Or name the challenge and decide what you want in its place, your goal or outcome. Then decide the individual milestones where you can score a win on the way.

Then get the glow of success when you reach each one!

If this resonates and you’d like a chat about how I might help, just email me and we’ll fix up a call

The post Winning Is Special appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

We see a lot of post-pandemic mobility in the job market – people are voting with their feet. In this candidate’s market, employers need to focus on engaging and retaining talent.

In the first blog, l asked: What do people want from their employers? The 3 top answers (taken from my interviews last year with business leaders working here and internationally) were: Change, Fairness and Wellbeing.

Here, in the second blog, is number 4:

Opportunities

People want opportunities to progress and develop professionally.
Opportunities for career and skills development create engagement, loyalty and appreciation.

It helps when leaders start to really listen. This happens quickly if they learn to use a coaching approach which also develops problem-solving skills and innovative thinking in their people. It gains buy-in and loyalty too – talent retention.

Speed up engagement and results

Offer high potentials coaching. It speeds up development and releases potential – often more quickly than you expect.

Offer executives a coach. It makes space for deep reflection. Coaching embodies powerful processes that drive transformation, achieve ambitions and objectives. Common focus areas are elevated leadership, strategy or legacy.

Plus, you gain spin-off results like:

• Speedier, better decisions
• more productive meetings
• better quality conversations
• happier, more engaged teams.

Opportunities

1. Introduce the coaching approach for managers and leaders via our proven Introduction to Coaching Skills and all employees benefit
2. Use team coaching: it transforms performance through real collaboration
3. 1:1 coaching for high potentials saves months in developing thinking & skills
4. 1:1 coaching for your senior managers and executives makes space for deep reflection and transformation.
5. Train internal coaches, so coaching is available to all and everyone becomes more effective.

Manage these priorities

I am now working with organisations, helping their leaders manage these priorities.

Working with a structured system, together we improve leadership approaches that make an impact on employee engagement and other post-pandemic change.

If this is something you would like to explore, book a chat with me to discuss elevating leadership, engaging employees and developing top talent.

The post How To Retain Talent Post Pandemic – Part 2 appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

From Struggle to Success

“I work with many men as my clients,” says Alison, Executive Coach, who works with CEOs and senior leaders in large organisations helping them elevate to the highest level of growth and performance. “But at the same time I’m really keen to ignite the potential of women leaders, and now I’ve started to help women who run their own business.”

The direction of the business remains towards the executive coaching market, but now 30% is focused on helping women running service-based businesses.

The catalyst for this new market came a few years ago, when Alison was shocked to hear that a colleague of her acquaintance, a woman with high-level expertise and running her own coaching practice, had announced she was taking an employed job again “to pay her mortgage”.

“The fact her coaching practice didn’t give her a decent living and pay her mortgage – despite her wisdom, expertise and list of satisfied clients – made a huge impression on me,” says Alison, “because I know she’s not the only one. There are many women ‘solo-preneurs’, coaches, consultants and healers who do a great job for clients’ but their business isn’t commercially successful. It doesn’t give them enough profit to be sustainable as a business, unless they work long hours.”

“Like any business owner, of course, I’ve been through highs and lows financially too,” Alison continues. “I’m delighted to say it’s behind me now, because I’ve finally got a system which works and which I’m now sharing with other women. But the catalyst was that remark. It made a deep impression because I knew she wasn’t alone.”

Alison was a complete novice in running a business when she started out 23 years ago, despite the fact that she made the jump with a high level of expertise in her specialist field. So, it really was a leap of faith to make the move from a safe career in international academia to working with corporates as her clients and heading up her own consultancy.

Does it pay the mortgage?

“It’s not enough in your own business to be good at what you do. But it’s what I thought – what a lot of us think when we make that transition. ‘I’m good. I’m solid. I’m an expert in my field,’ but that’s just not enough,” she says. “So I was a sitting duck for these programmes telling me how I should market and sell.”

“I attended loads of trainings, online and live, worked with consultants and coaches. None of it appeared to work for me. The activities promoted by sales and marketing gurus felt uncomfortable.”

Looking back, that was the problem. Over the years Alison has realised that as a woman entrepreneur with a service business, she’s not alone in this. Many women don’t feel comfortable following the ‘traditional path’ of building a business, marketing, selling etc.

“It’s not an approach that sits well with us as women,” she says. “We may be successful high-achievers in our area of expertise but these business activities that men have devised felt awkward and even alien to me. We need a different way of doing it, a different approach.”

“I must have been on at least ten programmes about how to build, how to market, how to promote your business. A lot of the advice, as you would expect, is the same and it’s a way of doing things that obviously work for men because they have used it for years. But there was a lot that I was reluctant to follow.”

Alison’s magical formula

“First I had to change my thinking. Working on your own, it’s easy on a bad day for self-doubt to eat away at your professional confidence. I’ve learned ways to deal with that. Then, how to make my services attractive and unique so clients want to buy. How to talk to clients in a way which isn’t pushy, how to market without the ‘cold calls’ that I hate to receive myself.

“B4 is great in bringing together people who understand it’s more about building the relationships first and the business will follow.

“But when I first went into business, strange as it seems, I didn’t know how to be friendly and promote my business at the same time! Nobody showed me how and I distinctly remember getting it wrong, being pushy and heavy-handed – just because I needed the business and had no one to help me with a different approach.

“What I needed was someone to support and guide me, someone specifically to say, this is how to build your business as a woman.”

Women need a different approach

“So I’ve had to create my own way, using my practical experience in the business world and what I’ve learned from courses, into a system that works. It has built my confidence and built my reputation. It helped me to be far more magnetic to clients who want to work with me. It has actually given me back the confidence I had when I was regarded as a leader in my field after years in academia.”

Now other women business owners – from executive coaches and consultants to legal advisors and naturopaths – want to share in this solution, to create the resilience and conviction they need, and the business they want, without heavy marketing activities, endless social media or money anxieties.

Alison strongly believes that women are more successful with a different approach. “I don’t think the way men coach women gives them the right kind of support or equips them to change their thinking in the most helpful way. I want to show women a pathway that they can follow confidently. One that enables them to be confident not arrogant, and avoid being pushy. That inspires and empowers them to build good relationships and speak convincingly, authentically, from the heart.”

So how can you take advantage of Alison’s experience?

“A few years ago I created a programme for women-owned service businesses. They join me in group coaching for a 6-month programme, where they get 1:1 time with me and regular group sessions with coaching and practical business building input from me. I know what works in today’s business and I’ve collated all the parts that worked for me from what I’ve learnt over those numerous courses in the past. It’s an integrated system that works for women like me.”

Alison has called these programmes, all on Zoom, ‘Charge What You’re Worth and Get It’. And she has had a couple of men in her groups too.

The results are quite remarkable. “I have a couple of clients who came into my group coaching more than a year ago and they’ve seen such a difference in turnover in their businesses that they have stayed with me for additional six-month programmes again and again. They’ve found the regular coaching and input, the support and accountability means they have more than doubled what was already a decent level of turnover.

“The reason I focus on price initially is because a lot of women undersell their services. I do believe that if they haven’t got the finances right then they’ll never be able to feel financially independent, which is so empowering.

Being nice

“I do think women are prone to undercharging for a range of reasons. I know, because I used to do it too,” admits Alison, “but it is a bad move. So I stopped it! It undermines your confidence. It undermines the quality of your product or services and means you have to chase more and more work.

“We are encouraged from a young age to be kind and nice. Many women feel they can’t charge what they’re worth because they don’t want to feel greedy. That’s why I start with money and what my clients should charge, because it’s a fundamental platform to build success on.”

Given that we’re talking ahead of International Women’s Day, Alison draws inspiration for all women from the global leaders that have emerged over the last few years. There is Sanna Marin (PM of Finland), Ingrida Šimonytė (PM of Lithuania), Magdalen Andersson (PM of Sweden) and Jacinda Ardern (New Zealand PM).

“I feel it illustrates the progress made in women’s leadership, confidence and their ability to appeal to people in a different way,” says Alison. “I’m also personally inspired by Anna Richards who leads Maymessy in Oxfordshire, working with women facing huge challenges. I take my hat off to Anna and everything she is doing.”

To read the article in full click the link below:

From Struggle To Success – B4 (b4-business.com)

The post International Woman’s Day 2022 Feature appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

As far as the eye can see the post-pandemic job market is showing a huge amount of mobility. I’m sure you’ve seen it too. People voting with their feet, a candidate’s market. Which means employers must focus on employee engagement.

In this, the first in a series of articles on Talent Retention Post Pandemic, I ask:

What do people want from their employers?

3 Top priorities for employees

My interviews last year with business leaders here in the UK and internationally clearly showed that people want these three things:

• Change
• Fairness
• Wellbeing

If you don’t take action on these, your talent will go elsewhere.

Change

First, people are looking for their organisations to learn from the changes we’ve lived through and be willing to make changes.

Fairness

Organisations that are “seen to be more fair” will attract and retain staff now and in future. People are frustrated – and have been for some time – by the unfairness they see, for instance in wages and discrimination.

All these are issues of fairness:

• diversity
• anti-discrimination policy
• more women in leadership
• maternity and parental leave
• climate change

Wellbeing

Yes wellbeing was already a focus for enlightened employers.

It’s now a more pronounced area for improvement – and potential discontent. Especially post pandemic, because many have suffered mentally and emotionally from the pandemic with its lockdowns and lack of live in-person interactions. Also from the forced estrangement from old, sick and grieving family members.

Online working and video meetings have meant more work and less possibility for between-meeting downtime. Meetings are scheduled one after the other. There’s no gap while you move to another venue. No travel at the start and end of the day, just movement to another room (if you have one) in your house. It has made for a very crammed, stressful working day with little exercise and variety – and more back trouble.

So, what changes will you make?

I am now working with organisations, helping their leaders manage these priorities.

Working with a structured programme, together we improve leadership approaches that make an impact on employee engagement and other post-pandemic change. It might be a 1:1 programme. Or a team approach. It might be a Leader As Coach programme for leaders at all levels. Or something else.

Never tried working with a qualified coach? Executive coaching with an experienced coach as your partner gives you clear benefits, such as these

• It makes space for deep reflection and therefore better decisions
• Its powerful processes drive the transformation you choose, depending on your ambitions and objectives regarding leadership or legacy
• Spin-off results are speedier decision-making, better quality conversations, more productive meetings, happier and more engaged teams.

If this is something you would like to explore, book a chat with me to discuss developing your top talent or elevating your own skills.

The post How To Retain Talent Post Pandemic – Part 1 appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

If you don’t, ‘Sofagate’ is the journalists’ label for the summit in Turkey where only two seats were available for three top leaders, two male and one female. The two men present (one the Turkish premier, the other the European Council President) took the two seats, leaving Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Union, standing and on her own. Eventually she was directed to a sofa some distance away, so she looked like an observer not an equally important player.

Now, I could focus on gender equality. Or on protocol, etiquette, European and Muslim differences in values, and so on. But no.

I’m not going to comment on the personalities involved. Or the furniture.

I’m going to focus on leadership for women. In general.

How to be a woman and a leader

As a woman myself, working over the last 30+ years with senior leaders, both men and women, and as Founder and CEO of my own consultancy for 22 of those years, I’ve learned to be a leader myself. And built my own views on successful leadership.

To be a really successful leader, I believe a woman needs to consciously develop the leadership style that fits HER OWN personality, vision and values. Rather than doing as other leaders do or just winging it.

It’s unwise to copy what other leaders do because most of them are men, and always have been. The danger for women is that we emulate them without realising.

Their values and priorities are often very different from ours. So we’re likely to be uncomfortable or ineffective or inconsistent emulating their style.

Consistency

One thing I’ve realised is the huge importance of being consistent because, of course, it builds trust and loyalty.

But it’s hard to be consistent if we are emulating others or following a “good practice” rule book.

However, when our leadership behaviours truly stem from our own inner values and vision, and our own personality, we CAN be consistent, because it will feel natural.

When you are aligned in this way, you have a leadership identity you can trust. Instead of trying to emulate others or pretend to be a certain way, you can trust your own gut.

And consistency in your communication will be hugely valued. Even in emails.

For example

How great it would be if the email from your woman colleague reflected how she is when you meet her.

Rather than being couched in the curt style of male colleagues.

Whatever your gender, be aligned

In summary, leadership identity for me is a combination of:

• your own personality
• your own vision
• your values
• your preferred leadership behaviours

plus the style of leadership communication that aligns with these.

Knowing first what these ARE, then getting them into ALIGNMENT, enables you to create real impact and influence. Then you achieve your vision in less time.

Get your own!

Whatever your gender, the sooner you discover your own leadership identity, and how to communicate it to others in an effective way, the more productive you will be as a leader.

But … discovering your authentic leadership identity – and then developing it to the highest level – doesn’t just happen. It takes reflection, discussion, advice, feedback, mistakes, learning. Over time. Years maybe.

Things fall into place more easily

We can help you speed up the process. Because working with a neutral experienced coach keeps you focused and working deeply, so you discover and/or develop your authentic leadership style in less time.

And then you enjoy a new freedom and confidence. You make good decisions more quickly. Things fall into place….

The post ‘Sofagate’ – Women, Leadership and the Sofa appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

Spring is the perfect time to make a new start

Truthfully you can make a new start any time you choose. But some times of the year seem specially appropriate.

As I write this, it’s Spring in the UK.

New flowers and blossom everywhere, people feeling more upbeat, enjoying eating outdoors with friends.

A new tax-year beginning, the start of recovery from lockdown, new Covid vaccines appearing. A positive vibe around.

Let’s make the most of this new start!

Here are Three Quick Tips to put you and your business on top form, every day.

Tip 1. Clear your head every morning

Take the trouble to clear your head at the start of each day. Best 3 ways I know are:

• journaling (writing in a journal)
• meditating
• deep breathing.

It doesn’t have to be first thing, but near the start of the day gives you a refreshing start. And you get the benefit all day long.

I’ve started meditating in the lockdown. For meditation newbies, just 10-25 minutes is enough.

If you already meditate, why not try one of my two favourite meditation soundtracks here, easily found on streaming services:

1. Nature sounds: Bird song, running water, beach sounds are all great for relaxation.

2. Morning Meditation: by Dr Joe Dispenza. This is available via streaming too.

Tip 2. Play some “up-music” every day

Choose music that makes you feel up-beat and positive. I have created a playlist of 10 up-tracks.

Select what works for you of course but at the moment I love ‘Feeling Good’ by Nina Simone, which I’ve just re-discovered.

I heard it on BBC’s Desert Island Discs just last week chosen by novelist Maggie O’Farell. She said it always cleared her mind after a night with too little sleep.

It even includes the line “It’s a new dawn”… so could work every morning.

Tip 3: Refresh your goals

Yes you may have done this in December or January. However, now is a new chance – the start of Spring, in a very unusual year.

So REVIEW and REFRESH your goals.

And, if they no longer apply – or no longer inspire you to action – just CHANGE them.

Check them out for 5 years, 3 years, 1 year and the next 3 months.

Then take your first step into action ….

And

Meanwhile, if you’d like a chat or some help with your business, you can contact me here.

The post Three Ways to Refresh You and Your Business this Spring appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.

In fact, you might have taken the plunge and done so already …. or know someone who has.

Aspiring to run your own business? Already doing so?

I hope you are, because if so I’ve made this short new video specially for you. And I’ve also got a list of FAQs ready for you too (with answers of course).

Perhaps you discovered how much you liked being your own boss when you worked from home recently.  Maybe it is only now that the possibility of becoming your own boss in your own business has come to you and you feel ready for the career move.

Whether you’re in the very early stages or already established in your own business, don’t miss out on Video 2 which has SIX super-tips for women entrepreneurs in expertise-based businesses like coaching, consulting and training.

And send for the FAQs I’ve put together. They will help you reach your goals in record time, avoiding some of the mistakes I made.

Sign up here for Video 2 and the FAQs.  All with my compliments. Totally free. And do forward this email to others you know who might benefit too.

Why me?

It’s so important to have a confident guide.

I’ve been running my own executive coaching consultancy for 22 years, based in Oxford, operating largely over Zoom and phone (long before Covid).

Over the years I’ve discovered what works and what doesn’t.

So now – alongside being a coach for my corporate clients and running the business – I equip and enable other expertise-based entrepreneurs to grow their own business successfully doing what they love, and get it all to work (even the bits they don’t like).

Why now?

During times of anxiety or economic uncertainty – such as now – it’s more important than ever to have a confident guide and support.

I will be that person for you – by sharing regular tips, ideas and insights. Totally free.

Sign up here for Video 2 to get the Six Specific Tips it includes.

The post Leaders, Is It Time For A Change Of Direction? appeared first on Oxford Professional Consulting: specialist coaching.