Oakland Avenue

Eli's Birth Story, Part I

2013-05-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm so sorry this is such a long time coming. It just seemed like every time I would try to write down the story, it was one huge mess. But birth is kinda a mess - so I suppose it fits. Giving birth to Eli was the hardest thing I have ever done. While I planned and prepared for an all-natural childbirth, I also came into labor and delivery with an open-mind, knowing birth never goes according to plan. Looking back, Eli's birth story definitely didn't follow my "plan" - but I have absolutely no regrets with the decisions we made and the way we met Eli. I wish I could tell you my birth experience was wonderful and beautiful, but I'll be honest - it was horrible, ugly and brutal - but it was completely worth it - which in the end, I think actually does make it beautiful. It was an experience I'll never forget.

This is the story.

At 2:45 a.m. I woke up to throbbing back pain and contractions every 15 minutes or so. I had been having contractions on and off all week, but they were nothing to write home about. These were much stronger, but I honestly didn't think these would last either. Since I was already awake, I thought I'd go ahead and use the restroom - I mean, I still needed to meet my quota of visiting our tiny bathroom at least four times a night and this little trip would get me there quicker.

Verging on the TMI, while using the bathroom I found I had the "bloody show" - if you don't know what this is Google it at your own risk - so I knew something was different. I didn't want to cry wolf, so I went back to bed, but by 3:15 a.m. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell Mike, so I promptly woke him up to tell him what was happening.

"Are you sure? Are you sure? What did the book say? Did you Google it? Is it really happening?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I donno!"

After the initial conversation, we both tried to go back to sleep. I think Mike got about an hour. I got about a minute. At 6:30 a.m., we decided Mike should still go in to work since the contractions were not coming any faster. I continued to try to sleep/rest, but let's be honest - I was Googling, "How long after the bloody show do you have your baby?" and other key words that would provide results that would accurately predict when I would meet my baby - because we all know you can always trust Yahoo Answers.

At around 7:30 a.m. I called my doctor's office. I knew ahead of time that my Midwife was out of town (BUMMER), but I wanted to confirm my hunch that I was having this baby sooner rather than later with someone besides Google. The nurse on the phone confirmed I'd probably be having the babe in 24 hours.

I then immediately called Mike to alert him that he would become a father in just a few short hours. Our conversation went much like the one we had at 3:15 a.m. and we still decided that he should continue to work until I progressed further (He had a monster deadline to meet and I am an awesomely understanding wife while in-labor).

Contractions were still about 10 - 15 minutes apart and while painful, they still were not too big of a deal to me - I knew they'd get a lot worse before I met my boy, so I made a point to tell myself that they were easy-peasy.

I tried to lie down and rest a few different times throughout the day, but when I did, I found the contractions hurt a lot worse than when I was standing or moving around, so I got busy. I got my oil changed - which took an HOUR AND A HALF - I wanted so badly to tell them to hurry it up, or I would literally have this baby on their greasy garage floor but I was nice and patiently read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" while waiting. (Can I just say WATCH OUT?! That book has some GRAPHIC photos. I had to strategically sit with my back facing the wall and have at least two empty seats on either side of me in their waiting room so I wouldn't burn anyone's eyeballs.)

Next, I moseyed on over to Home Goods and spent about $200 on home decor.

Whoops.

Mike didn't see the bill until after baby came and when he asked me if I really spent $200 while in labor with our son, I validated my actions by telling him it was obviously my motherly-nesting instinct kicking in, telling me I must have new baskets and storage containers for my baby. (Yes, I spent $200 on only baskets and storage containers - but it was A LOT of baskets and storage containers that we desperately needed.) Suffice it to say, Mike has since made me pair down my purchases to only two baskets and four storage containers, and I now have quite a few returns to make.

Once I got home, I swept the garage, watered the plants, deep cleaned both bathrooms (I mean DEEP, DEEEEEEEP cleaned - like washed the shower curtains, scrubbed the tubs, vacuumed the curtains) wiped down the woodwork in the upstairs, did laundry, cleaned our appliances ... basically I was in nesting-beast mode.

Around 5 p.m. Mike came home from work - he had texted or called me nearly every hour, on the hour, and by the end of the day I was starting to feel bad that I didn't have any news to report except that the contractions were now down to eight to 10 minutes apart and that I was really excited about my new baskets and storage containers. I made gyros for dinner and we enjoyed a "last supper" on the porch. When we saw our neighbors come home, we went out to talk with them for a bit. Our neighbor was due with her second baby just about the same time I was and she told us to take a walk to speed up those contractions. So we took a short walk around 7 p.m. and I definitely started to feel the contractions more.

From 7 - 10 p.m. the contractions progressed to three to four minutes apart, so we showered, packed the hospital bag, watched some Parks and Rec and basically just kept talking about when we should go to the hospital - HARDEST DECISION EVER. I had originally planned to labor at home as long as possible, and at that point, I was just getting to where I couldn't talk or move during a contraction. I still wanted to stay at home a bit longer, but Mike was terrified of us leaving too late and him having to deliver the baby all on his own (I kept telling him not to worry, he could do it - his initials are M.D. Wifler after all), but at 10 p.m. I agreed to go - sooner than I really wanted to, but I knew Mike was probably right that it was "go-time."

When we arrived at the hospital we found that I was four centimeters dilated (whew - no getting sent back home!) and we checked into our room.

I labored alone with Mike for a bit, the contractions were super intense, but doable. I whipped out my deep breathing and "low-groaning" techniques and Mike put on his "birth-coach hat," offering suggestions and positions and just generally tried to keep me comfortable. (In reference to the "low-groaning techniques" - apparently it's a skill to moo like a cow through a contraction, one that we learned in our birthing class, from my Midwife, my old OB and in all the books. I am not kidding when I tell you that before labor, Mike would periodically demand an impromptu "labor moo" at which I would have to practice my moo. Try getting out a proper moo when you're completely embarrassed because he asked for it at a restaurant.)

I labored on the birthing ball, in the shower, on the bed, in a whirlpool tub and probably other ways, but honestly, it's all a blur. I remember throwing up while in the tub - I asked Mike if he had a bucket around, and as he started casually looking around, I yelled, "Bucket, NOW!" Good thing, cause he nabbed a trash can just in time and I promptly filled it up.

At midnight, the nurse came in to check me again, and I had progressed to 7.5 cm - AWESOME. I was thrilled, Mike was thrilled, the nurse was thrilled. High fives and champagne all around - er, maybe not, but we were all feeling really good about my mad-dilating skills to progress so fast in just two hours. The nurse called in the on-call OB and told him I'd be delivering this baby in just an hour or two, so he'd better wake up and get to the hospital.

From that point on, the nurse basically stayed with Mike and I the entire time since I was finally in "transition." I continued to try various laboring techniques similar to the ones I was doing earlier. Mike was on duty full-time to give me counter pressure on my spine - sweet, sweet relief from the contractions. If you're pregnant, make sure your hubs knows how to do this. I LOVED it. The nurse was around to help Mike, offer ideas and give me encouragement. She kept telling me that I was the "perfect picture of a non-medicated childbirth," and that I "have such great mental stamina and pain tolerance."

KISS. OF. DEATH.

About every hour they would check me, and I continued to be stalled out at 7.5. The OB had arrived a while ago and when he realized I wasn't changing, he told us that he was going to go find a "place to sleep until something started happening."

Yeah, you go do that Mr. OB. Just go take a nap while I just lie here in this torture chamber of a delivery room and pay you millions of dollars for just making an appearance in here.

At 3 a.m. he came back in and suggested that he break my water. I refused at first, I really didn't want any interventions, but he kept suggesting it and I finally gave in because I just wanted to see something happen. He proceeded to break my water and I proceeded to continue to be stuck at seven and a half for another three hours.

Great suggestion on his part.

After my water was broken I didn't feel anything. I expected to feel a big gush of fluid on my legs, but I felt nothing. By that point, I was literally sleeping between contractions I was so tired. Yes, they may have been one to two minute long naps, but I could fall into a deep sleep in about a second and I had no concept of how long I'd been sleeping for - could have been two minutes or two hours - all I knew that I would be jolted awake by another contraction before I was allowed to sleep again.

At 5:30 a.m. the OB and nurses began to tell me that I would need Pitocin to deliver the baby. They told me that my uterus was too tired to push the baby out because I had been laboring for so long. I refused a few times, still wanting to do it as naturally as possible, so they used an Intrauterine Pressure Catheter to "scientifically" measure (aka: prove to me) that the contractions were not strong enough to push the baby out.

Fine. They were right. The contractions were 50 percent of the strength they needed to be and the OB told me that I could get Pitocin now or I could get Pitocin in four hours; either way, I'd be stuck at 7.5 until I received some. They also told me that if I wanted an epidural, I would need to decide before they gave me Pitocin, because they couldn't give it to me after.

At 6 a.m. I gave in and agreed to receiving Pitocin, but was honestly terrified of how much more pain it would inflict on me since I knew it causes contractions to be stronger and more intense and I was pretty much at the tippity-top of my pain tolerance level. Actually, let me clarify: I was OVER my pain tolerance level. It was off the charts at that point.

So I figured I'm already getting medicated - let's go big or go home baby: GIVE ME THE JUICE!

Before labor, our Midwife suggested to Mike and I that we have a code word that only he and I knew, that I could say if/when I truly, truly wanted an epidural and it would be the sign to Mike that I was SERIOUS. I didn't even have to say the code word to Mike. I whispered to him that I wanted the epidural and Pitocin between a contraction (but before my nap) and he ordered them up for me. After the next contraction I remembered, so I said the code word and he just smiled and said, "I know honey."

If there is a high point in this story (besides the fact that I birthed my first son at the end of it), this is it. I felt so much relief in knowing that relief was coming. If it were possible, I even felt energized, knowing that there would soon be an end to all this pain. In that moment, I just kept thinking of my friends and family who had received epidurals and told me they were "God's grace to woman's curse." I could. not. wait. to get it.

Let's just say that bliss was short lived. The epidural didn't take.

Well, it took in my left leg and in my right calf. So I suppose if I was giving birth out of my big toe it WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME. But no. Stomach/Back/Right Thigh? Oh yeah, I felt everything.

I kept telling them that I was still hurting, so the nurse anesthetist would come over to me periodically with an ice pack and I'd have to tell her 1) if I felt it and 2) what temperature it was, as she placed it on different parts of my body. Left leg: I don't feel anything. Right calf: Warm. Right thigh: Cool. Stomach: FREEZING. Back: FREEZING.

She'd look at me with a quizzical expression and say, "Well, it's working because you can't feel it on your left leg, let's just tip your body to the right." Then the nurse would come by, shove a pillow under my left side and I'd lay there on my right side, unable to really move and just praying it would start to take. We went back and forth like this about six times: me saying it wasn't working, and the nurse anesthetist saying that it was - we just needed to tip me in the right direction so gravity could "do it's work."

B.S.

They gave me a little remote control and told me when it turned green that I could hit the button for more juice. You'd better believe all I did was watch that remote for the little green light and I hit it faster than a game of whack-a-mole when it turned on.

By then, I was incredibly discouraged. I remember crying and telling Mike I was done and to just "let me go." (I'll assume you know what I meant by that. I'll also assume you know that I don't mean it now and am eternally grateful Mike didn't take me seriously in that moment.) The relief I was so excited for never came and I couldn't see an end in sight. In fact, it was worse than before because of my bum left leg and all the tubes and machines hooked up to me, I couldn't move on my own or labor in any position I wanted to. Mike tried to rally me, telling me that I was doing awesome and we'd meet our son soon.

In that moment, I didn't care about meeting my son.

All I cared about was being done with the pain. It sounds dramatic and wimpy as I type all of this out now, but it's true. I just wanted to black out and not remember anything. To be done, over, finished. I didn't care how, I just wanted relief. I was sick of the nurses, sick of the hospital room, sick of not knowing what time it was, sick of contractions, sick of being so tired, sick of people telling me I was doing awesome when clearly I wasn't, and I was definitely sick of the nurse anesthetist coming in and telling me the epidural was working ...

But somehow the clock kept ticking and a few hours and loads of Pitocin later, I finally felt the urge to push. For those of you who haven't given birth, the only way I can describe needing to push is the sensation of needing to throw up. It's completely involuntary and you cannot stop it. Now multiply that urge by a million. No a trillion. No a gazillion. Oh and make it hurt - HORRENDOUSLY.

I remember yelling, "I'm pushing, I'm pooping, I'm - I don't know!"

The nurse rushed over and told me that I was not allowed to push. That I needed to wait to get to 10 cm (I was at 9.5 cm at that point) and for the OB to come in.

She was nuts. There was no way I was stopping this train. She kept telling me to breathe through it and I tried, I really did. But NO. Then Mike would get all up in my face, tell me to look him in the eyes and BREATHE. It was like a circus in there. They brought in another nurse and the two nurses were running around like mad-women gathering supplies (since it wasn't like they didn't have the last, oh, 12 hours or so to get ready for me to push) and yelling directions to me, Mike was up in my grill trying to get me to stop pushing and repeating whatever the nurses were saying, and my body was being taken over by aliens or something because I HAD NO CONTROL.

Finally the OB leisurely walked in (A different one from before, since they changed shifts in the morning). I yelled that I'm going to push again because I want the OB to hurry her tiny heiny up, and everyone looks at me and yells, "NO!" in unison. The OB sloooowly puts on her coat, then her gloves, sits down on a stool with wheels, and starts slowly peddling her legs towards me. She settles in at my feet, rechecks her supplies and gives the nurses a curt nod.

Oh, NOW I can push? It's a good thing my left leg was out of commission and I couldn't move, otherwise there's no telling what I would have done to that OB.

At 10 a.m. I finally got the green light to push to my heart's content. While it's a completely different kind of pain than the contractions, and it's still brutal (they don't call it the "ring of fire" for nothing), I was just happy to give in and help my body out with what it wanted to do.

As I'm pushing and everyone is looking right at me, errr - a certain part of me - two nurses, the OB and Mike are all yelling at me, giving me direction, encouragement and who knows what else. As I'm looking at my crew, suddenly I see all their heads turn to their right and the OB says, "Is he okay?"

I look in the direction she's talking and there's my husband, sitting on the couch, white as a sheet, nibbling on a Lorna Doone cookie.

"He'll be fine, he'll be fine." The nurses were saying.

YOU BET HE'LL BE FINE. FOCUS LADIES!

Next thing I knew, Mike's up right next to me again, shouting whatever the nurses are shouting like nothing happened.

Good. So glad you were able to pull it together husband.

Before I was allowed to push, I remember asking the nurse, "How long does pushing take?" She responded with, "It depends on how good of a pusher you are."

I made up my mind then and there that I was going to be the best dang pusher they had ever seen.

And 19 minutes later, Eli was born.

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow.

Greatest Mother's Day Gift Ever

2013-05-17T09:12:00.000-05:00

Last night Mike gave me the GREATEST belated Mother's Day gift ever. I slept in the guest room with ear plugs and Mike took care of Eli all night.

B.L.I.S.S.

Most mornings, Mike wakes up and says, "Eli had a great night last night, didn't he? I think he slept through the night!"

Oh my. While he's correct in the fact that Eli "had a great night" - a great night equals Eli waking up two times, not six. When I proceed to tell Mike that Eli woke up twice and I took care of him, generously not waking Mike up in the process (Mike's a heavy sleeper if you can't tell), Mike will question if Eli "really did wake up" and if I'm "remembering correctly."

Those words make me want to breathe fire.

So I told Mike I'm going to start shaking him awake every time Eli and I are awake to make sure Mike knows that Eli did not in fact sleep through the night.

That shut him up pretty quick.

Anyway, I had been lamenting about how nice it would be to get a full night sleep, particularly coming off both Eli and I being sick last week, I was really in need of a solid chunk of uninterrupted sleep. So on date night last night, Mike offered to take all the feedings and let me sleep in the guest room as a belated Mother's Day gift.

DONE.

I then suggested that very night would be the perfect night for such a gift.

His eyes then bugged out of his head and he began to backpedal.

I then told him he couldn't back out and since he didn't have to work the next day, it was the perfect night for it and if he didn't, I would go back to my original threat of waking him up every time Eli was up for at least the next two months.

He then agreed.

Mike and Eli, catching some z's. For the record, we choose not to co-sleep, but sometimes in the morning, when you just need an extra five minutes, snuggle time is the answer. Also, for the record, this photo makes my heart burst with happiness.

I slept like a rock, only having to get up to pump once out of sheer necessity. Then this morning at 6:45 a.m. Mike wakes me up and tells me he has to go into work.

Whoops. Sorry honey. But I feel good, so isn't that great?

Mike also got me Taylor Swift tickets for Mother's Day. They came in the mail on the Friday before, addressed to him, but in an envelope that said "URGENT, OPEN IMMEDIATELY" in big red letters.

So I opened it.

I mean we're married. We share bank accounts.

Whoops again.

We later had a conversation about shipping gifts for me to a friend's house.

He also got me Fritos and Mountain Dew. Which I promptly ate and drank in about 10 minutes and comptely gained back all the weight I had lost since I delivered Eli.

Okay, so maybe not, but it felt like I was bursting out of my jeans and tee the rest of the day.

Icky.

You know the feeling. Don't deny.

Okay, it's time for me to sign off. Be back Monday. Hopefully. Maybe Tuesday.

I have a hard time with commitment.

DIY Tutorial: Ruler Growth Chart

2013-05-14T08:39:00.000-05:00

This post is a bit of a long time coming. We actually completed these DIY Growth Charts in time for Christmas, but I haven't gotten around to writing a post about them until now.

Terrible, terrible.

For Christmas this year, Mike and I wanted to make something fun for our nephews, but since they were both under a year and a half old, we knew they really wouldn't "get it" - aka - "appreciate all the work Uncle Ike and Aunt Yaya put into a DIY project." So I quickly began thinking about something I could give my brothers and sister-in-laws that could be used for their kiddos, but that they would appreciate and something that Mike and I would want too. We live a few hours away from my family so I thought it would be fun to have something similar in each of our homes that when the cousins visit each other they'd see the same thing in all the homes.

I had seen a few DIY ruler growth charts floating around blogland, and after showing them to Mike, we deemed the project worthy of our Christmas gifts and something that with the arrival of lil' Wif we would want too. Growing up, my parents marked my height on a wall in the basement, but we moved around a lot, so we always had to start over at each new house we lived in. I love that these can go with you wherever you move and you can even move them around the house if you like.

So we looked at a few photos for inspiration, and put our own spin on it. We ended up with two different versions:

But of course, like any project I attempt - it wasn't completely smooth sailing from there.

At first, I wanted to do a "triangle" take on the growth chart. The one on the right above:

On this growth chart, the large triangle points mark each foot, the mid-sized triangles are every 6" and the small ones are every 2". But after completing the first one, I was incredibly frustrated. I created a template from cardstock, but the paint kept bleeding under it so in the end, I free-handed all the triangles and the numbers, which wouldn't have been a big deal, but the white paint required three coats to get saturated coverage, and I don't know about you, but I cannot trace a line perfectly three times in a row with a paint brush - even if I did grow up under the tutelage of a professional painter.

(Quick tip: Most growth charts start six inches from the ground, so you can hang them above your baseboard, so that's what we did to ours. So technically, they measure from 6" to 6'6".)

Here's the template I tried to use:

That thing was brutal.

The growth chart turned out okay - and looks fine from far away - but up close you can see the wobbly lines and the uneven finish of the paint. Which for me, meant that it wasn't good enough to give to my family.

Good thing we purchased supplies for three rulers - Mike and I now have the triangle one hanging in our house - pretty sure I'll end up redoing it at some point to look like my second try, but we were both pretty sick of working on them and just wanted to be done.

So, on to try two:

Oh yeah, this was more like it and it was way less of a pain in the butt as the first one.

Here's what we did:

First we purchased three six foot pine boards from Home Depot and stained both sides with one coat of Minwax Dark Walnut Wood Stain that we had on hand.

Then I marked off every foot (but remember, the first "foot mark" starts only 6" up, not 12"!) and then marked 2" above and below each foot mark to find where I should put my tape. I did this all the way up the chart, six times.

After I had my soon-to-be white parts taped off, I placed 3" number stickers (I purchased these from OfficeMax, but you can find them all over.) in the middle of each of them.

As all of you should know by now, I am not a perfectionist - so in the essence of time and completing the project before my coffee got cold, I just eyeballed where they should go. If you haven't guessed by now, the number stickers are there so I could paint over the taped off section and later just peel off the stickers to reveal the pretty wood underneath.

After everything was taped off, I painted on three coats of white paint - I don't know the actual name of the color, it was just an old tester can of white that I had lying around from when we were choosing the wall color in our living room.

After painting, I let it dry, then began gingerly pulling off the tape and stickers.

You can see here it didn't go perfectly, some of the paint bled under the tape and stickers, but not to fear - I knew how to remedy that. Just take a Q-tip dipped in fingernail polish remover and rub away. Don't rub super hard or you'll pull the stain off too - but a few light back and fourth strokes on the area you don't want paint, and poof! It's gone. See how crisp they ended up?

I only know this because Mike once spilled an entire - yes an entire - half gallon of paint all over our hardwood floors in our dining room. After wiping most of it up with rags, it still had a white "cloud" over the floor and paint was stuck in the crevices of where the wood joined. I tried everything I could think of to clean it up and wouldn't you know it, fingernail polish remover was the answer.

After I cleaned up the growth charts with the remover, Mike varnished them with stuff we had on hand and he added little hooks on the back so the growth charts could be hung on the wall.
I still think they are both pretty cool, I just wish the triangle idea had turned out. Now it just means more work for me because I still want all three to match. Ohh, well. One more look:

It was so fun to give these to my brothers and sister-in-laws at Christmas and it's been even more fun to visit their houses and see them hanging around.

Soon(ish) - sorry, can't commit to a posting date - I'll show you what I gave them to mark each child's height. For now, I'd say this is enough info in one post!

Not What I Thought It Would Be

2013-05-09T10:14:00.000-05:00

Gettin' a bath before I left.

Tuesday afternoon was my first day away from Eli. My mother-in-law generously offered to babysit and I had finally built up enough of a milk "stash" to leave him for a few hours without needing to rush home to feed him. Before I left, I found myself imagining what it would be like to leave Eli. I kept thinking that I'd send a longing glance his way, we'd look into each other's tear-filled eyes. He'd cry out when I leave and I'd tearfully shut the door behind me, crying all the way to the mall. I'd think of nothing but him the entire time and feel like a piece of me was missing as I walked the mall.

No.

Not even close.

Here's how it really went: My mother-in-law arrived, we chatted for a bit, me giving her the download on when he'd need to eat, when he'd probably nap and all that other stuff that was oh-so-boring to me before I was a mom and is now all that I think about.

Then I left.

Then I went shopping.

I thought about him a bit. Wondering what he was doing. Then telling myself he's probably hanging out and tooting. Or burping.

Both are sure signs he's feeling good and let's be honest, he's really good at both.

Then I kept shopping. I bought some sandals. Looked at a picture text from my mother-in-law of him sleeping. He looked the same as he always does.

If there had been sound, I'm sure he would have been tooting.

My mom would prefer that I call them "bubbles."

But really, they're farts. Like man farts. Like I can't tell if they're from Mike or Eli.

So I'm compromising with my mother because she reads my blog and I'm calling them "toots."

Anyway, on my drive back to the house. I thought to myself, "Do I miss Eli like crazy?" "Has this been sooooo hard?" "Was it what I thought it would be?"

Is it terrible to say "nope" to all of the above?

Sure, it was weird to be without him for the first time in four-and-a-half weeks. And I did think about him a lot - but more because I felt like I should. Not just because.

When I got home, I honestly thought I would want to rush over to him and just cuddle with him the rest of the day, telling him how sorry I was to leave him and that I missed him SO much. But when I arrived, my mother-in-law was hanging with him, having an absolute blast and Eli was perfect and happy (and tooting - so I definitely knew all was well) so I just got myself a drink of water and sat down to chat and show off my purchases.

The thing was, I knew he was in awesome hands, that all his needs were being met and as much as I sometimes hate to admit it - that he didn't even know I was gone. It was okay not to miss him like crazy and and in fact, I think I came back a bit of a better mother. Refreshed, feeling a bit more like my old self, and definitely better dressed. I had to remind myself that just because I've heard that it's hard for moms to be away from their children for the first time, doesn't mean it has to be that way for me. And I shouldn't force myself to feel anything I don't.

I know there will be times when I'm away from Eli that I will miss him - fiercely. But this time? I didn't. And while it surprised me, I know it was okay.

Clearly Eli's cool with it, I mean his toots are off the charts today ...

The Search is Over: How I Found the Elusive Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree

2013-05-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

If it's possible for a house plant to be trendy, the Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree is the trendiest of trendy. I started seeing them around a few years ago, but because they're so popular, they're near impossible to find and if you do, one plant is going to run you about 200 bones - and since I've had some not-so-good luck with indoor plants - Mike told me I needed to work on my green thumb for a solid 10 years and have proof of my successes before I'd be allowed to spend that kind of cash on a plant.

Touche.

Do you all know what I'm talking about? Have you seen them? Check out these pics:

I literally drool when I look at those photos.

For a long time I thought that was just a side-effect of my pregnancy (In my defense, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" lists it as one), but I now have a four-week old son that is sitting in front of me and not in my belly.

Apparently it's not a side-effect for me.

How embarassing.

Anyway, Mike's one exception was that if I could find one on the cheap, I'd be allowed to test it out. And I can now die happy. I finally got one!

Sure it's tiny and nothing like the architectural statement pieces above, but I am going to nurture and grow this little Fiddley like my own son.

Okay, only a little like my own son. Eli does come first.

Probably.

Okay fine, always.

How did I find it? Oh I'm so glad you asked.

I had heard rumors of Ikea carrying them for about $20 bucks (similar in size to this one), so I would call ahead and ask if they had them in stock, or when their next shipment would come. I would then drag Mike to Ikea to pick it up and when we arrived, there would be no trace of my beloved Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree.

This happened at least 37 times over the course of the last year and a half.

Suffice it to say, we Wiflers hate Ikea's inventory system.

Then one day I found it on Home Depot's website, same price and size as the elusive Ikea one. It was hiding under the name "Ficus Pandurata Bush."

I hit "confirm order" in two seconds flat and three days later it showed up on my doorstep.

Take that Ikea.

I have to admit, I was nervous about ordering online, but I couldn't be happier with it. It's about two feet tall and healthy as can be.

Now I've just got to keep it healthy. I hear they can be a bit finicky, but I'm bound and determined to prove to Mike (and myself) that I can in fact keep an indoor plant alive.

I'll let ya know how it goes.

Worth Sharing

2013-05-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of Photostream? Now that I have Eli I'm thinking of trying to test it out. Basically, it allows you to share a photo with a group of people, without having to send a mass text or blast all your social media profiles. Brilliant.

Love these 100 Rules of Dinner. Read them now.

Already I've found myself stressing over Eli's sleep schedule. Let's just put it this way: I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HIM TO SLEEP DURING THE HOURS OF 10 P.M. AND 7 A.M. Heck, I'll even take Midnight to 6 a.m. - but seriously, who am I kidding, really I'll take anytime when it's even semi-dark out. JUST GIVE ME SLEEP SON. I'm quite sure I was sent this link from no less than seven people on the same day about one mother's take on expert sleep advice. All I have to say to this article is AMEN.*

Did you read "The Unlikely Disciple"? If so, you might find this article, "Being Gay at Jerry Falwel's University" interesting. Even if you didn't read that book, I'll bet you'll still find it interesting.

Been hearing great things about this fast-drying top coat for nails. Has anyone ever tried it? I'm all about speeding up the drying-time on my nails, but I hate spending any money on a product that I'm not absolutely positive will work. I mean, that price is equal to a latte and a half ...

Speaking of nails, have you heard of Jamberry Nails? It's a sticker that you put on in lieu of polish ... if this works then I suppose I could skip that top coat. Please, pretty please somebody try out these products and report back!

Sorry, the two above comments were super selfish of me. I don't want to potentially waste my money, so I tell you to potentially waste yours. I take it back.

But you can still try out the products if you want to.

And then tell me how it was.

But only if you want to.

I would really like it if you did.

Okay I'm done.

*Apologies for all the capital letters. I know you're not supposed to use them because it sounds like you're yelling, but what if you actually are yelling? Then can you use them? Because I'm yelling up there. That's what I'm doing.

Eli - One Month Photoshoot

2013-05-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

My little man turned one month old last Friday! Mike and I celebrated his birth by going to the dentist and making Eli suffer through a bath and preform at photoshoot. Yes, we party hard in the Wifler house.

For the photoshoot, I'm actually not even sure I can really call it that because I wouldn't even label Mike and I "amateur" photographers. More like "point and shoot" with a "wish and a prayer." It basically goes like this:

"Honey, call to Eli. Make him look at the camera."

"Move your foot, I think it's in the shot."

"Eli, Eli, Eliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"Your shadow - now it's in the photo. Aww dang, the camera strap was in that one."

"Eli, Eli, Eliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Series of finger snaps.

"Let me try, I can do it better."

"Nope, that wasn't better. Give it back."

"Your hand is in the frame!"

"Hang on, I think he's pooping. Eli, that is not a good look for you."

"Eli, Eli, Eliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

So fun for everyone.

I had originally attempted to make Eli the monthly onesies using iron-on transfers, but apparently I can't read directions and I pre-washed my onesies before ironing them on and they didn't take. (I've heard most transfer paper is not like this, just the one I purchased.) After ruining three onesies, I gave up and figured I'd try my hand at photoshopping the number on.

Violia:

If you don't look too close, I think it looks like the real thing. I figure I can now save my pennies by not having 12 onsies that he'll only be able to wear one day a year ...

I'm thinking I'll do something similar to what Young House Love has done, but a monthly photo rather than a weekly one. For this photo, we just pulled off Eli's crib mattress with the sheet and plopped it on the floor. I'm going to try to find some discount fabric so we have some variety each month.

My other plan for monthly photos is to document Eli in his cloth diapers, using a rainbow color scheme of sorts for no other reason but that when I line them all up they'll look pretty. Here's the first one - I still need to do a bit of editing to brighten it up, but it's a start. (I am also less than amateur in Photoshop - I'm completely self-taught in all the Adobe tools, so I basically can only do what I'm able to find easy tutorials online for.)

I'm fairly sure last Friday was the first day he even sort of fit into the cloth diapers. My plan is to start him this week while I'm at home to see how it goes. I'll be honest, I'm sort of starting to dread it. We've been doing disposables since he was born, and I'll be the first to admit they are pretty darn easy. While I'm not against saying, "cloth isn't for us" and selling our stash, I am against giving up without trying. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Sorry, rabbit trail.

Anyway, back to Eli's monthly photos. For the cloth diaper photos, I'm thinking I'll keep the background the same each month (this pic is on our rug in the nursery), but I can't decide if I like the stripes or not - opinions? Maybe I should just go to a plain white background ...

Anyone else doing photos with their kids or see cool ideas for them?

Eli's Nursery: Details & Sources

2013-05-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your sweet comments on Eli's nursery! I've had quite a few questions on where we sourced items from and how and what we DIY'd. So today I thought I'd give you all a quick run-through of where everything is from.

Alright, here we go:

The curtains were DIY'd. I'll go into details soon, but basically I dyed plain white curtains to get the color I wanted since apparently kelly green curtains are not very popular. The stool is a Target clearance find that used to be green and was in our living room for a while. I gave it new life with some light blue paint we had leftover from another project. The rug is the Olin rug from Crate & Barrel. The pouf is from the Etsy shop, aletafae. The glider is the Little Castle Charleston Swivel Glider from Target.com and the pillow is handmade with ~~sweat, tears and blood,~~ love by me. The light fixture is a mash-up of sorts. The main fixture came with the house (an old flush-light mount) - we just removed the cover and added the shade from the Eden Pendant Lamp from CB2 that I used to have in the living room. It comes with one bulb light and is actually a fixture that plugs into the wall (you could just cut the cord and hardwire it I suppose), but I chose to use the main fixture and just throw the shade over it because it has three bulbs and gives off more light. On to the shelf! The shelf itself is from Ikea - I just painted the brackets and screws gold - they were originally silver. The shoes are a gift - baby TOMS that are adorbs. I've written before about Mike's crazy-love of shoes, and if he has anything to say about Eli's interests, I'm sure sweet kicks will be one of them ... so I figured I'd throw them up on the shelf as a nod to Dad. Many of you will recognize Sophie the Giraffe - this was a gift from Eli's grandma and I'm curious to see if it will live up to all the hype around it apparently being the BEST TEETHER IN THE UNIVERSE. At least, that's what I hear - if nothing else, it sure does look cute on display.

The fox is another adorable teether gift from a friend. I'm not sure I'll want to let Eli chew this up, it's so pretty! The bird is left over from the mobile creation - I wasn't sure how many felt animals I'd need, turned out - five. So the bird was relegated to the shelf. The giraffe cross stitch was a gift from Eli's great-grandma. I painted the bare wood frame with a custom-mixed red-orange acrlyic paint and sealed it in high-gloss to help it to pop off the shelf. The owl is another Target clearance find. It was a white and I painted it light-blue - the same color as the stool. Oh and I didn't get a close up pic of it, but the fox art print is from Etsy. The moose head is a garage sale find. I pried off the head from the mount to paint the wood, then glued it all back together. The chamaleon print is from Etsy and the tree art is actually a card I received at a baby shower. Frames are Ikea.

The crib is the Babyletto Hudson Crib in white from Target, the sheet from Serena & Lilly - since I didn't go all out on crib bedding, I decided to go for some super cute sheets - they were a gift from Eli's grandma. The pillow is from my living room (it'll come out once Eli starts sleeping in there of course) the giraffe sound machine was a gift from Mike's cousin.

The prints are from The Animal Print Shop, nabbed on a black Friday sale. The frames from Ikea. I DIY'd the garland by stringing felt balls (sent all the way from Nepal from this Etsy shop) on white yarn. We hung it on nails that I painted the same color as the wall.

The changing pad and cover are both from Serena and Lilly, another gift.

As I've mentioned before, the dresser is an Ikea hack - I'll walk you all through that in another post, but it's pretty simple to make Ikea dressers look custom!

For the life of me I couldn't get a good pic of the artwork without getting a massive glare or seeing my face clear as day reflected off the glass, so this was the best I could do for you all. I made the artwork on InDesign (I'm sure you could do something similar in Microsoft Word) and had it printed at a local print shop.

The quote is from The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. If you still can't quite read it, here's what it says:

"Aslan," said Lucy. "You're bigger."
"That is because you are older little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
-C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia

I've always loved the books and when I stumbled across this quote I fell in love with the symbolism - I've found it so true in my life and I pray it will be the same for Eli. (And it didn't hurt that it had a lion in it - another nod to the animal theme.)

The mobile was made by me. I used some leftover felt balls from the garland and the felt animals are Christmas ornaments from West Elm and Crate & Barrel that I picked up on clearance. I'll eventually post a short tutorial on that as well.

The watchdog doorstop is from Anthropology and was a gift from Eli's auntie. It's not just for looks, it's actually highly necessary. The door doesn't stay open on its own. Thank you house-built-in-1923.

The clear bookshelves are these 16" shelves from Clear Solutions. We swapped out the tiny little screws they came with for more heavy duty ones so they could hold the weight of the all the books Eli received. (Believe it or not, I didn't buy him a single one!)

The stool is another Ikea hack, detailed out here.

Our closet doesn't have a door - at one point it must have, but when we bought the house it wasn't there. I thought about adding a curtain, but then the entire wall started to feel a bit heavy and the room seemed even smaller than it already is. So I set out to leave it open and try to make the closet as "beautiful" as I could.

You can't see it well in this photo but we added gold polka dot wall decals from WallsNeedLove.com to the inside of the closet. The white drawers are part of the Algot storage system from Ikea, the striped bins, grey bins and raccoon bin are all from the Container Store. The closet dividers were made by me, and you can find a tutorial here.

Whew! I think that's it! Please let me know if I missed anything or you have any other questions!

Eli's Birth Story - It's Coming!

2013-04-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

A lot of you have been asking me when I'm going to post Eli's birth story. It's coming - I promise! I've been working on it, but it's probably one of the hardest things I've had to write. At first, I couldn't quite figure out why I was struggling, but I think it's just because there's so much emotion wrapped up in it, and it's hard to tell a lengthy story (spoiler alert - labor was 32 hours), while also trying to process and explain how I felt about everything.

Plus, I keep waiting for when I have a block of time to work on it, but as you mother's know - that's pretty much impossible.

I have about six posts in draft form, all focused on different things yet in some ways all about the same things. I just need to buckle down, put my editor's cap on, and figure it all out.

Thanks for being patient, I swear I'll get it up eventually. For now, I'll just leave you with this photo of Eli and my nephew Lewis and hopefully you'll forget about how slow I'm being ...

Eli's Nursery on Apartment Therapy!

2013-04-29T12:25:00.000-05:00

Eli's nursery is featured on Apartment Therapy today. Check it out if you have time!

Recognizing Real Beauty

2013-04-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

By now you've all probably seen the Dove Real Beauty Sketches video that has been highlighted all over the internet over the past week or so. I bookmarked it to watch a while ago, but didn't get around to viewing it until last night and as soon as I finished I knew I wanted to share it here. So before I go any further, if you haven't seen it, please, please watch it now:

If you've been a long-time reader of this blog, you'll probably remember when I wrote a guest post on Espresso and Cream about my body-image journey. If you missed it, you can read it here and find my intro and background thoughts here. Like most (all?) women, my body image has been more central to my life than I would like to admit. It's pretty much a daily battle, one that I have made progress in over the years, but I also know that I may never win the war for good and therefore I must always be armed for battle.

Now that I'm tackling a post-partum body, much of my thoughts have turned to the way my body has literally been rearranged: more weight here, less muscle there, extra skin everywhere. It's only been 2.5 weeks, but already I've found myself thinking about how I could tighten up this, or lose that.

These thoughts are why I love the Dove commercial. It's a reminder that my negative analysis of my body is not what other people see. I am my own worst critic. I sell myself short. I do not honor myself or my Creator by picking apart my self-determined flaws.

I cried as I watched this commercial.

When it was finished, I looked down at Eli, sleeping soundly in my arms and I vowed that I would not sell myself short as his mommy. I want him to grow up with a mommy that is confident in who she is. Stay-at-home or not. Sweatpants or not. Post-partum body or not. I want him to grow up with a confident mommy that accepts herself and believes she is smart, capable and beautiful.

That all of her is beautiful.

As Eli grows up, I want to teach him the meaning of true physical beauty. Of course, I want to teach him about inner-beauty too, but sometimes we focus so much on learning about looking at the heart's beauty, that we still can't recognize physical beauty beyond a supermodel's.

I want him to see the scar on my right hand and know it's how mommy learned how to bake all his delicious meals. I want him to see my soft belly and know that it's from growing the miracle that now sleeps in front of me. I want him to see my wrinkles, freckles and imperfections and know they are from a life well lived -- and are what makes mommy, mommy.

I want him to see what I would call my "flaws" as beautiful, and he'll only believe that if I believe my flaws are not flaws at all, but instead marks of my beauty.

The need to accept my body seems even more important now with Eli in the picture. I know Eli will learn much from his Dad and me in seeing a woman's true beauty, but I hope someday he will look back and say that he saw true beauty firsthand in his mom -- that his mom was beautiful -- and she knew it.

Ikea Hack: Ikea Bekvam Step Stool DIY

2013-04-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

One of the easiest DIY's I completed in Eli's nursery was a makeover of the Ikea Bekvam step stool. Because our house has very little storage, we have to maximize the use of any and all closet space in the house. Eli's closet has lots of shelves, and while we can reach most of them, Mike and I can't quite reach the top shelf so I figured a step stool was in order.

That's when I remembered I had seen the Bekvam step stool Ikea quite a few times during my trips to the store. At only $15 it was a pretty good deal considering it's solid wood - it's just ... plain looking.

I love unfinished solid-wood furniture. All the hard work is done, all I have to do is give it a bit of paint to personalize it and make it fun. So I transformed it into this:

Here's how I did it:

Painted it with primer.
Painted it with a custom-mixed mint green paint. (I used leftover white tester paint with a bit of blue and a bit of green paint to achieve the color I wanted.)
Once I let everything dry and harden, I applied some leftover 2" gold wall decals that I purchased from WallsNeedLove.com to decorate the inside of the nursery closet. I love these decals and would highly recommend them to anyone. They're thin, so when you apply them, they take on the wall's (or in this case - stool's) texture, so they really do look like paint.
Sealed the stool with a semi-gloss polyurethane - I gave it two coats on the actual steps and one all over. I'm so glad we did this step, because now the stool wipes down easily if we get any dirt from our shoes or slippers on it.

A few more pics:

Mike's Musings - The Eli Edition

2013-04-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

Asked to Eli every day during his first week and half of birth: "Can you say Daddy?" "Can you say Daddy?" Can you say Daddy?"

Asked to me in the most serious voice, "Do you think he'll be a Jedi Knight?" To Eli, "Don't be tempted by the Dark Side Eli."

As we recount our birth story to friends: "Birth is, wow. Just wow. I mean. Wow. Birth is...wow."

As he takes Eli's hair from "business" to "party" and back again: "I'm incredibly good at doing baby hair Eli - that's one of my gifts. You're an incredibly lucky baby."

After I get done commenting on how helpless and needy Eli is (in a good way), "Well he can poop and fart on his own, so he's not that helpless, right?"

Our conversation almost every morning:

Mike: "Man, I hardly got any sleep. I think I changed six diapers last night."
Me: "No you changed three. I changed two."
Mike: "No, I'm pretty sure it was six, maybe even seven. Or was it eight?"
Me: "No, I handed Eli to you every single time and I recorded if it was wet or poopy on that little chart from the hospital. It was three. You only got up three times."
Mike: "I don't know. .. it felt like six. Wait, seven. (Mentally counting.) Yep. Seven."
Me: "It was three. And try nursing every hour for 30 minutes. Then you'll know what it's like to get hardly any sleep."

It Meant Everything and Nothing at the Same Time

2013-04-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

On the Sunday we got home from the hospital, almost immediately I went upstairs to take a nap. It was the first time I'd been alone since we were admitted to the hospital for Eli's birth and as I crawled into bed I immediately started to cry.

I couldn't stop the tears, they were neither happy nor sad. They meant everything that had happened to me, each tear shed representing all that I had been through - my pain, joy, fears and hopes, and yet at the same time the tears meant nothing at all. They just were. They were impossible to stop; a necessary process after the three most intense days of my life.

I cried because I was in pain, and I cried because I was so happy it was less pain than the actual birth.

I cried because I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and I cried because I couldn't believe that mommy-instinct is a real thing and I knew exactly what to do.

I cried because I was exhausted, and I cried because I had never felt more alive in my life.

I cried because over the past few days I had been surrounded by my generous and loving family, and I cried because I was finally alone and left to myself.

I cried because it was all finally over, and I cried because it was only just the beginning.

I cried because everything had changed and I didn't feel ready, and I cried because everything had changed and God knew I was ready.

I cried for so many reasons, yet for none at all.

My tears meant everything and nothing at the same time.

Worth Sharing

2013-04-17T07:00:00.000-05:00

This ad totally blows my mind, and I had to share. The ad copy reads:

This young man is 11 months old – and he isn’t our youngest customer by any means.
For 7-Up is so pure, so wholesome, you can even give it to babies and feel good about it. Look at the back of a 7-Up bottle. Notice that all our ingredients are listed. (That isn’t required of soft drinks, you know – but we’re proud to do it and we think you’re pleased that we do.)

By the way, Mom, when it comes to toddlers – if they like to be coaxed to drink their milk, try this: Add 7-Up to the milk in equal parts, pouring the 7-Up gently into the milk. It’s a wholesome combination – and it works! Make 7-Up your family drink. You like it…it likes you!

I mean, this advertisement leaves me speechless. No further comment.

Been hearing awesome things about the Perfect One-Dish Dinners cookbook and really, really want to try it out.

My friend Madison who blogs at Espresso and Cream made us this Blueberry Oat Biscuit Cobbler for dessert one night and it was divine. You all should go make it immediately.

Loved this post from the Sprouted Kitchen about why feeding people is worth the time and money. Makes me excited for when Eli's a bit older and we can begin entertaining again - because although it's totally awesome - people bringing food to you doesn't count.

Ever since we added the chalkboard to our porch, I've been having a blast decorating it, but sometimes I can't seem to get the same look as some of the other designs out there - this post on types of chalk from Jones Design Company was helpful in seeing the difference. Not sure if I'll purchase anything beyond regular old chalk, but it'd be fun to try different types sometime.

Ad found on RookieMoms.

Checking-in

2013-04-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't been back with any updates since last week. Truth be told, it's not because of Eli at all - he is seriously the BEST baby. (I feel like I need to stop saying that or I'm going to jinx us - but it's true!) I'm sitting here typing this as he stares at me with huge eyes (we're thinking they're Mike's - but who really knows...) and he's sucking on two of his fingers super loudly - it's downright adorable.

Anyway, it's been quiet on here because I've been trying to use my down-time to write Eli's birth story while it's still fresh in my memory, but it's been harder than I thought it would be. Processing his birth has been difficult - there were so many emotions and feelings that I'm having trouble sorting them all out and I keep getting stuck.

But, what I do know is that I love being a mom - and that's what matters, right?

Plus it's pretty impossible to not want to hold him 24/7. Now that my mom's gone back home and Mike's back to work, I don't have to share him with anyone and I can barely put him down.

Speaking of, I think I'll go hold him now ...

Nursery Reveal: Eli's Baby Boy Nursery

2013-04-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Pssssttt ... looking for all the details and sources? Check out this post.

Alrighty guys, the time has finally come for me to show you all photos of the nursery. (Truth be told, I'm a bit nervous!) This has truly, truly been a labor of love for Mike and I and we're thrilled with how it turned out (We're pretty sure Eli loves it too). Every time I walk in I can't believe that we have such a special room in our house. It's been therapeutic for me to put this room together and has been a huge part of me getting excited for and falling in love with our little boy before he entered the world.

Today's post is going to basically be a massive photobomb - over the next couple of posts I'll try to go around the room and show you the details - and since it's pretty much one huge DIY project - I'll try to break each thing down for you all so you can see how we put it together.

To give you an idea where we started, below is a quick before picture. If you remember from the early days of the blog, this room was deemed the"library" - aka junk room. We really didn't touch it when we moved in, it just became a store house for anything we didn't have a place for:

But now, it has a much better use - the nursery!

Baby Boy Nursery Mood Board

2013-04-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

My first post as an official momma! This past week has been a whirlwind to say the least and I promise I'll share how everything went soon. For now, I want to keep it lighthearted and less introspective, so I thought I'd share the nursery with you all this week - good thing Mike and I barely finished it last week while we were waiting for lil' Wif - aka Eli!

Alrighty, down to biz. The nursery. It took a long time to get there, but we finally made it and I can't wait to show you all the photos. I'll be posting the reveal tomorrow, but first I wanted to share with you the mood board that we started out with.

When I look at this mood board at a glance, I feel like it looks nothing like our final product - but when I look at the individual elements, it's actually quite similar to where we ended up since most of the items are actually there, it just looks totally different in person. You'll understand more tomorrow, promise.

As with the baby girl nursery mood board, as I put this together, I had in mind to DIY most of the room. It's been such a fun process to see it all come together, and I truly am thankful I took time to plan it this way so I knew where I was headed and even when I became distracted by a pretty rug or artwork, I could always look back and remember "the vision."

I wanted the room to be fun and colorful, and just as with the girl mood board, be a room that could easily be repurposed down the road for the opposite gender. That's why you'll see the same large items (crib, glider and dresser) on this one as there was in the girl one.

Alright, here's where we were headed:

Kelly green curtains. I'm a bit crazy about kelly green lately and I knew if we had a boy I'd want lots of green in the room. I had in mind to to make-over these Ikea Ritva curtains by dying them with Rit Dye to get the exact color I was looking for.
Just as with the girl mood board, I had to include a cropped image of the actual wood trim in the room. Like I mentioned, there is a TON of trim in the room with two windows, a closet and the main door, so it's a pretty big factor in the design.
Ikea dresser hack. I figured we could nab the 3-drawer Hemnes dresser from Ikea to serve as the changing table.
But of course, I couldn't just leave the dresser plain. I planned to use up left-over chalk paint from the card catalog to make it a nice, moody blue/grey color.
While out and about, I fell in love with these fox knobs from Anthro and figured they'd work perfect to finish off the dresser instead of using the basic knobs the dresser came with.
This is actually the best representation I could find of a linen drum light online that is similar to the one we currently had in our master bedroom. With a boy, I wanted to keep the lighting simple, and since we already had a drum light on hand, I figured I could move it over to the nursery (landing Mike and I's room a new light in the process - is that bad?) and I figured I would dress it up a bit with a bit of trim.
Colorful bunting that I planned to DIY from fabric or paper.
Animal Print Shop prints - I fell in love with these adorable prints a few years ago and always kept them in the back of my mind for a nursery someday. They are so cute in person you'll just. want. to. die.
Little Castle glider. As I mentioned before, this is the actual one we went with.
Whale pillow from Etsy (sorry, can't find the source again!). I figured I could try my hand at screen printing or sewing a silhouette to get the same look even though I had never done either of those things. But why the heck not, right?
Moroccan leather pouf to serve as a foot rest in place of purchasing the foot rest that matched the glider.
Grey and white stripped rug from Crate and Barrel - we needed a bit of a print in the room, so I figured this would do the trick.
Babyletto Hudson crib. This is the crib we went with and I'm crazy about it.

As with the girl mood board, none of these sources were final (more just to generate ideas) and after we found out we were having a boy, I never took time to update this board with the things we actually did - which in some ways I think that could have been helpful as I was working on projects and finding them less than desirable once they were complete (ahem, ribbon trimmed curtains...) but it all worked out in the end.

Okay! Get excited for tomorrow!

The Wait Is Over

2013-04-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Eli Charles Wifler

April 5, 2013, at 10:19 a.m.

7 lbs. 4 oz., 20.5 in. long

He's finally here and I am in love.

Mike's Musings

2013-04-04T08:40:00.000-05:00

Whispered as he looks around the nursery for a good five minutes: "This room is just a magical place. It's just so magical. It's magical. It's so magical..." And on and on and on.

As I'm walking out the door to go to a prenatal massage, "Just imagine it's me giving you that massage during labor - that will make it 10 times better, I'm sure of it." Er, can we skip the "labor" part?

After letting Mike know that I wasn't planning on making any desserts when my brother and sister-in-law were coming to visit he said in the softest, most child-like voice you've ever heard: "But what am I going to eat then?" I don't know Mike, all the other food I'm making?

After explaining to Mike that it'll feel weird not to go back to work and wondering out loud what I'll be doing all day ... "Well, you're going to be raising our son - so there's that."

"A huge win for both of us! That was awesome!" Cheered after the Minnesota Wild scored a goal and Sean picked Catherine on The Bachelorette. He also asked me for a series of high-fives and why I wasn't hooping and hollering with him. In my defense, I was literally crying as I watched Catherine nearly pass out from not being able to breathe during Sean's proposal.

On my last day of work, as we get in the car to go celebrate my "retirement," "You can listen to anything on the radio you want - it's your special day." (Which truly is a generous gesture from my music-loving husband.) Later that night when he wanted to go to a movie, "It's my special day, we need to see this movie." Wait, what?

As he's handing me my wedding rings that I left on the bedside table, "Make sure you wear this so everybody knows you're mine." Melt. My. Heart.

DIY: Baby Closet Clothing Divider Tutorial

2013-04-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

Over "baby-crafting" weekend one quick and easy project I completed was making clothing dividers for baby's nursery. While I'm not known for amazing tutorials, this one is just too easy not to share. My goal was to spend zero dollars, so I just used what I had on hand to make these. I've seen other tutorials with dividers made of wood, old CDs and even just sticker printables to jazz up "real" dividers, but mine are made of none of those things. I took el'cheapo way out and made them from old cardboard - cardboard from an old gift box to be exact.

Since they'll be used less than a year and rarely get touched besides being pushed around in the closet, I figured I didn't need to spend money on making them durable for the long haul if I had everything I already needed at home.

Here's what you need to complete this project:

Mod Podge
Paint brush
Ruler and scissors (I ended up using a paper cutter in the end)
Thin cardboard - think gift bag or box, cereal/pasta box, etc.
Pretty paper
Number and letter stickers (or you could paint them on!)
Jar lid or other circular shaped object - to use as a template for your circle cut-outs, mine was 2"
Glue stick (not shown)
Pencil (not shown)

Sorry, as I said, I'm not the greatest at giving tutorials. If I was, I would have had all the right materials in the below shot!

Start by figuring out which dividers you want to make. Below I've listed a few common sizing options. For new moms out there, don't worry, I got your back. I totally know how it is to have NO CLUE what the difference is between NB and 0-3 months. I mean, shouldn't 0 months old equal a newborn and therefore be the same size? The answer is NO, because nothing in the baby world, nothing is easy to understand so why would clothing be any different?

NB
0-3 months
3-6 months
6-9 months
9-12 months
12-18 months

Once you've figured out which dividers you want, start by cutting your cardboard and paper to size. I made mine 7" x 4". Since this was a "free" project, I just made as much as I had supplies for. Hence, 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months and 9-12 months. Since you'll need to cover both sides of the cardboard with paper, make sure you have double the paper as you have cardboard. Below I have four pieces of cardboard and eight pieces of paper.

Using a glue stick, glue your paper to each side of the cardboard. (1.)

With a pencil, trace a circle onto one side of the divider to create the holes for the divider to hang on your rod. I used a 2" jar lid and put it 1" down from the top of the divider. It's probably best if you measure your rod, just to make sure the 2" will fit. In addition, I traced a 1" line to the side of the circle, so I could easily cut the circle out and put them on the rod. (2.)

Cut along lines and erase pencil marks. (3.)

Check the pic below for the corresponding image. Sorry number two is so difficult to see!

Add your stickers and give both sides a light coat of Mod Podge to seal it.

And hang them in your closet!

Simple and cheap.

To-Do Lists

2013-04-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first day off work and boy was it surreal. I kept feeling like I was playing hookey and didn't really know what to do with myself all day. I had built a massive to-do list - not things that really needed to be done - baby can come ANYTIME and we'd be ready (HEAR THAT BABY?) - but it's all stuff that'd be nice to get done before the babe's here. But as Mike would like me to admit, if they do not get done, we would definitely not be in a life or death situation. (Although it feels like it - regardless of what he makes me repeat back to him.)

Since everybody keeps telling me that I won't know what hit me for a good six weeks after I get home from the hospital, I'd just like to get ahead on a few things, like having a clean house for one. Maybe some meals in the freezer. Oh and there are just a couple of cloth napkins I'd like to sew to use up fabric remnants.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME - WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO SEW CLOTH NAPKINS BEFORE THE BABY COMES?

I donno. I donno. I donno.

It's such an odd feeling, I could have three weeks, I could have three minutes. I don't know whether or not to zip through my to-do list asap or to take it easy, spacing out my tasks so I have a few each day to keep me busy for a good long while. I know all the moms and dads out there will tell me to enjoy my free time while I can, but somehow it feels like my time is the baby's already since I'm just waiting for one of the most massive events of my life to arrive without an accurate ETA.

My belly's pretty much a ticking time-bomb and I don't have the watch.

No me gusta.

Yesterday, I tried to find a balance of doing both things on my to-do list and things on my to-rest list. I tried napping but couldn't really sleep because I was thinking of how I could be taking my to-do list to a to-done list. While texting with one of my old co-workers, she told me to just put my nap on the to-do list so I could cross it off when I woke up.

Brilliance. Multitasking is even better.

I logged a solid 20 minutes on the couch, woke up, deleted it from my Google Tasks list (I know you think I'm joking, but think again - it felt so good to hit that little trashcan) and promptly scrubbed my living and dining room baseboards.

So I guess I got two things done yesterday.

Now today is an errand day but you'd better believe that I have "nap" written on my to-do list once again. Fairly certain it'll be a daily to-do, but now that it's on my list I don't have to feel guilty about it.

I wonder if that excuse will work in when I'm not pregnant ....

Closing a Chapter

2013-03-29T05:00:00.000-05:00

Today marks my last day as a full-time professional. I haven't said anything on the blog yet, partly because that would make it too real and partly because I could never really find the words. For the past few years, I've worked at a small public relations agency in the Twin Cities. To say I have been blessed by my job is an understatement. Working at an agency, I've learned new things each and every day, and looking back, my skills and talents are a far cry from where I was when I started out as an intern so long ago. And frankly - that has been very fulfilling for me.

And while I enjoyed the work, it was my colleagues that made the daily grind even better - they made it something that I looked forward to and I have truly appreciated their consistent encouragement, teaching, advice and friendship. I will miss seeing them each day, sharing weird, office-related dreams, solving client problems, swapping recipes and just living life together.

Growing up, I always believed I would want to be a stay-at-home mom, but I don't think I was quite prepared for how difficult it would be when the time came to make a decision. I think part of that is due to the fact that baby is an "early blessing," but really, I don't think I realized how much I could enjoy and find fulfillment in a job.

It's no secret that I don't do well with change, and adding in a career change to the mix has been another piece of the pie for what has made this pregnancy more emotionally difficult for me. I wrestled with it internally a long time, praying about it and talking it over with Mike (although he always said it was up to me), but deep down, I think I always knew that for me, it wasn't really an option to keep working.

You see, I so badly want to raise my own children and honestly, I just can't fathom another person raising my son the majority of the time. As much as I'm not a "kid-person," I know I will become a "lil'-Wif-person" as soon as I meet my baby boy. I completely know that for some people, staying at home isn't even an option, and I am incredibly blessed to even have a choice in the matter.

Today marks a major chapter in my life closing, but I also know that it doesn't have to be the end of everything professionally-related. As this day has come closer and closer, I've found myself looking forward to the future, not just baby, but what's next for me outside of being a mom and my new identity. While I'm waiting to put any serious thought into what that might look like for me until after the babe's born and I have my new-parent legs under me, I'm beginning to get excited about other places I can invest my talents and skills into.

When I look back to this time last year, Mike and I were still DINKS, gearing up for a long-planned for 2.5 week trip to Europe. We had no idea that just a couple months after we returned, we'd be staring at two little lines - me crying, and he laughing. It's amazing to me where life takes us, no matter how much planning and dreaming we do, life has its own agenda.

So here's to the next adventure, life's unexpected surprises and figuring it out along the way.

All images are snapshots from around my desk.

Grunting - Am I The Only One?

2013-03-28T05:00:00.000-05:00

Being pregnant, there are a lot of odd side-effects. I'm sure you've all heard of the usual: copious amounts of bodily gas, feet that grow to the size of an NBA player's, involuntarily wetting your pants. You know, super fun, not-embarrassing at all types of things.

But there is one side-effect that I've never heard people talk about, read in a book, or been warned of by my doctor, and I keep wondering why: Grunting.

Yep, grunting.

It started out quietly enough and the grunts were few and far between. I didn't even notice them myself. Then at about 32 weeks, I caught my sweet, sensitive, and oh-so-understanding-to-pregnant-women-problems husband smirking at me as he watched me pull on my boots. I looked up at him with a confused look on my face and he said, "Can you hear yourself?"

What? I mean I know I talk to myself all the time, but I was pretty sure in that moment I hadn't said any of my internal processing ramblings out loud. And even if I had, that shouldn't have made any difference to him as he's pretty used to me talking to myself in the third person after three years of marriage.

"You're grunting babe. You grunt all the time these days."

While he said it sweetly (although I could have done with out the smirk), I was horrified and didn't quite believe him. Of course, when I gave my boot a final tug and simultaneously let out an involuntarily "UGH!" I realized he was right.

Now, I hear myself grunting all. the. time. When I get out of bed in the morning (not to mention the four times during the night to go to the bathroom), I usually rack up about three grunts for each new position my body has to get in to even get my feet on the floor. Then in the bathroom, I grunt when I reach for the shampoo, I grunt when reach for the blow dryer, I grunt when getting dressed and when walking downstairs to leave for work. I mean, I probably rack up a good 35 grunts before I even get my coffee in the morning.

Impressed yet?

The problem is, I. CAN'T. STOP. Seriously, I can't keep a grunt in. Particularly at work, I try to remember not to grunt before I pick up a piece of paper off the floor, or get up from my chair to go - where else? - the bathroom. But I can't not grunt! Thankfully, it's usually much quieter, and comes out more like, "eeehhhhhh" but still. It's there, haunting me, making me feel like an old, old, old, incredibly out-of-shape and hairy man.

(Don't ask about the "hairy" part. I can't figure it out either.)

Now I'm at the point in this post where I wonder why I'm even writing this. I suppose it's a bit of a PSA for all you non-pregnant people out there: Please give us grunting gals some extra grace and ignore our little piggy noises, we simply cannot help it.

Or maybe I'm the only prego-person out there who has this "symptom" and the PSA is all for naught.

Or maybe it's not a symptom at all but just a new "Laura, you're just getting old and noisy and this is the way you're going to be forever" thing.

Come to think of it, I can't think of one other pregnant person who I've heard grunt in recent memory. Maybe that's why I've never heard of it as a side-effect before.

Dang it.

Hate it when I've been consoling myself by telling myself that I'm not the only one and then I realize that well, I'm the only one.

Is that how it is with my insanely-heavy-breathing-even-when-sedentary too?

Bah. My life has gone to pot.

Linky Links

2013-03-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

Surprising fact: In 2011, the wealthiest Americans averaged giving 1.3 percent of their income to charity, in contrast, the poorest Americans donated 3.2 percent of their income. Kinda crazy, right? This article looks into why that is and shows you where the money goes - also an interesting fact.

Costco, Target, Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Aldi, Cub, Byerly's, and the list goes on - the Twin Cities has A LOT of options when it comes to buying your food. I'm never quite sure what to get where for the best prices and quality, so I find lists like this one for what to buy at Trader Joe's helpful.

Interesting journal-type article that ran in the Daily Iowan - a newspaper out of the University of Iowa - about one woman's journey to decide to give her child up for adoption. Can't quite make up my mind on how I feel about it.

Fascinating article on the food industry and the science behind their processed food products. It's actually an excerpt adapted from book that comes out later this month, “Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us.”

Ever heard of Camel Camel Camel? It's a price tracker that monitors product prices on Amazon. Search through a product's price history to find it's lowest point and have email notifications sent to you when prices drop so you can get the best deal. I haven't tried it yet, but plan to for a few final baby items we need.

Made this Roasted Buddha Bowl (pic above) over the weekend and Mike and I LOVED it. Served it over red quinoa and switched out dressing for this Tahini-Lemon one because I didn't have any cashews. I also traded the nutritional yeast for copious amounts of Romano cheese. While some may say that was a travesty, I say I didn't know what nutritional yeast was (beyond what Google told me - and it said it's kinda cheesey and kinda nutty...aka, cheese?) and we're not vegan so I made do. IT. WAS. AWESOME.

ps. Nothing against Nutritional Yeast, and if you're vegan or just trying to cut out dairy, I'm sure the recipe would still be awesome.