Observe and Distort

Let's play a game

2009-10-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

i call it...."find the freakiest creature at your local Wal-Mart". have you guys ever heard of a website called People of Walmart ? if any of you haven't, SHAME ON YOU. if you have, then we're probably soulmates. this is one of the many vices i use to get by on a boring day. it's chalk-full of delightful patrons of our favorite superstore (eventhough my heart belongs to Target).

Observe:

this takes "To Catch a Predator" up to a whole different level. Where the H is Chris Hansen when you need him??

this one is my new personal favorite. 'nuff said.

"trollin" for some rollback savings

umm...wow.

Rat-tail+bedazzled shorts+massive wedgie = true love

i highly encourage you all to find your own top 5 pics. You'll thank me later.

my own little mini-me

2009-10-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

when i started this blog, i figured i'd keep it fairly anonymous and strictly geared towards the entertainment/fashion industry. however, as i've become besties with a few of you, i thought i'd open the door a little bit to my private life and introduce you to my own meaning of life:

meet my daughter/my own little mini-me.

she's a fiesty, sassy, snuggly 3 year old-going on 16 little girl, and she is the absolute light of my life.

she even quotes movies (right now she's on Pinocchio and Shrek) just like her mama!

so even though i became a mom fairly young, i can tell you she is definitely the best part of my day, every day. no matter how many middle of the grocery store tantrums, whine and cry sessions about taking a bath, battles to the death regarding bedtime episodes, i love her more and more than i could have ever imagined.

even when she says "Mommy....you're drama", or "I don't like my dinner...it makes me throw up" (true story)

anyway maybe it's the hormones raging within me because of that oh-so-very special week of the month, or that i'm just a total sap, but i felt the need to connect with y'all on a deeper level and talk about something other than fabulous shoes or celebrity gossip.

HAPPY MONDAY!!

ode to a classic

2009-10-14T00:26:00.000-07:00

there are some movies in your life, no matter what age you are, that will stick with you forever. one film in particular (and I hope most of you will agree) is a golden little gem known as "Say Anything..."

John Cusack. *sigh*. Although he is not exactly Brad Pitt, he gave me the little butterflies that every girl gets when she has a crush on a boy. And although his character's name was Lloyd, i'm pretty sure he stole (and will continue to rob) every female's heart

every.

single.

time.

best SCENE ever:

that classic, albeit desperate scene of Lloyd holding the radio over his head in front of Diane's house...silently BEGGING her to accept his love through the ballad of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"

best quote in the entire movie:

"What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it."

How I Met the Greatest Show on Earth

2009-10-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

This past year or so I have discovered a couple of amazing things:

1) On Demand (even though I'm forced to pay ridiculous amounts of ca$h money for the corporate giant that is Comcast because my apartment doesn't face the lousy mothership of a satellite for Dish or Surewest)

2) How I Met Your Mother

I found this show one night when all that was on was reruns of Real Housewives of New Jersey (barf) and Deadliest Catch (my bestie BFF Alicia's husband Jordan tortures us with that and similar shows more than enough). I was perusing On Demand for some funny, commercial-free shows, and thought I'd try this HIMYM (apparently it's abbreviated like that, for all you scenesters).

OK, first of all, this show consistantly has me in hysterics. Like, nose running, tears rolling down my cheeks, snorting laughter type of hysterics. Yes, it's that funny. This show is kind of like the spawn of "Friends", except none of the characters are annoying ~~*cough*MONICA*cough*~~ (sorry Monica fans). Plus, Bob Saget narrates the show. Ultra cool points just for throwing in a little Danny Tanner action.

Also, Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser...remember him now?) is one of my favorite characters on the show. For being a gay man in real life, he sure knows how to play a lady-killer on the show. He's got that cocky "quarterback in high school who joined the frat in college who went on to be a loan officer for Ameriquest" attitude. As sleezy as he is, I can assure you without him the show would not have the fantastic level of humor that it does

guaranteed.

For those of you who are already seen the show and love it as much as I do, HIGH FIVE (insert Borat impression). If not, try to catch it when you can. The new season (numero 5...YAY) just started. It's on Mondays at 8 o'clock on CBS.

Toodles!!

Steal this song! (not really...but maybe)

2009-10-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

normally I am not into the whole pop music scene

BUT

there is a song that my amazing Zumba instructor/very good friend Sheila throws into our Tuesday night workouts and I am absolutely IN LUUUUUVVVVRRRR with it.

drum roll please....

"Shake It" by Metro Station.

i'll admit that the lyrics are a bit risque, but since all of you are not the prudes that I'm assuming you aren't (otherwise you wouldn't be following this broad's blog), then I'm sure you will all enjoy it. I'll even forgive the fact that the lead singer is Miley Cyrus' older brother (yuck, yuck, YUCK)

I highly suggest you download it onto your iTunes or burn it onto a cd asap.

Maybe you'll even catch it on your shower radio (if anyone still ownes one of those). My good friend Jerry Seinfeld once wrote about shower radios saying "there's no better idea that I can think of than dancing around on a slick surface next to a glass door".

Bawhahahaha.

Ranting...again

2009-10-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

So the Hills has somehow made it to another season. This time, good ol' Kristen Cavalerie (sp?) is running the show. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but didn't she take over Laguna Beach after Lauren left that show as well? And didn't she say she was getting out of "reality tv" to begin a legit acting career? WOW, that went well, huh?

anyway, this rant is not about her and her stoner/drunken voice. this is about the epidemic known as

SPEIDI.

Via the premier episode, Spencer Pratt has officially hit a new low on the fashion scale. Apparently he is very much into rockin' the "urban cowboy" look. However, he looks more Brokeback than Stetson, as shown below.

du nuh, du nuh.....du nuh du nuh du nuh...(that's the Jaw's theme, for any confused readers)

via okmagazine.com

Question: why the eff do they always have to match? Gag.

I could go on and on, but I think a picture is worth a thousand words. or buckets of vomit.

you decide.

i am SO not ready for this jelly

2009-10-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

WARNING: some people may or may not be offended by this post.

i know i promised myself that i would keep my blog positive and uplifting....

BUT

i have to rant. just this once (maybe not just once. i cant make any promises)

about 10 or so years ago, a strange musical force came onto the American airwaves. That force going by the name of

Beyonce

ugh. ok seriously where do i even begin with this creature?

to be fair, yes, she has a great voice. yes, she knows how to "flaunt what 'cha momma gave ya". yes, she is married to Jay Z. and yes, she has way more billions of dollars that i will most likely never ever obtain in my life.

HOWEVER, as an avid music/movie lover, i first have to say i am highly appalled at the lyrical content of her songs. I mean...first she whines "pay my bills...if not then we are through", and then she turns around flailing about shouting that she's an "Independent Woman". make up your mind already!! sheesh. OH YEAH, if i hear that friggen song "Halo" ONE MORE TIME i am just going to freak out!

to add further insult, the fact that she now is being paid to act ~~flub her lines terribly/barely produce a sqirm-worthy performance~~ is way more torture than I or the rest of the world need or deserve to be tortured with.

maybe i should give her some slack. I mean, Obsessed was not the best movie i've ever seen. i don't think i'd even rate it on my top 20. in fact...i may even go so far as to say that i'd rather watch Shaq squeeze himself into a genie outfit and prance about in that gawd-awful flick Kazaam.

(remember that? auughh. scary!)

ok, back to the matter at hand. in Obsessed, Beyonce plays the stereotypical angry/jealous/"if you mess wit' my man i'ma CUT you" wife who has an on-going battle with her Executive husband's bottle-blond hot piece of ace/level 5 crazy/secretary (another type-script role for Ali Larter) who is convinced that her boss is in love with her and brings out a whole different level of psycho. Overall this movie has a weak and predictable plot, an abundance of overacting, and yes....waaaaay too much Beyonce.

let the cat fight begin!

ok...i feel a lot better. really!

Mad about...

2009-09-29T01:05:00.000-07:00

...Mad Men.

If you have not heard of or seen this show, please climb out from underneath that rock of yours and indulge in this absolutely d-i-v-i--n-e dramatic series. This show is now in it's 3rd (yay!) season, and I am still (if not more) utterly infatuated with every aspect of it.

Set in the early 60's, this show is based on a Manhattan advertising firm (hence the catch-phrase "Mad Men", which was dubbed by advertising execs back in the 60's). I can guarantee you will not find a smarter, sexier, or more fabulously wardrobe-d series. EVER.

Aside from the extremely swoon-worthy Don Draper (the hot exec every secretary WISHES they could fetch coffee for), I have to say my two favorite characters are

Joan (the busty Ging' Office Manager)

and Betty (Don Draper's stay-at-home wife)

you get the Marilyn and the Grace Kelly. Both have an equally powerful presence in the show, and both have closets full of dresses I would pillage any vintage store to obtain.

i die.

this show airs every Sunday at 10pm (PST) on AMC. Yes, i realize that channel is generally tivo'd by your grandma, but this show is definitely Generation X friendly. So do yourself a favor and take a gander at this amazing series.

you'll thank me later!

purrrrfect

2009-09-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

have i mentioned how much I ADORE
the cure?

and not in the standard emo-teenage kid-going-through-a-tough-time-at-home-and-wants-to-slit-his-wrists type of adoration.

the cure is yes, very dark, goth-rock music.

yes, lead singer Robert Smith does resemble Edward Scissorhands (but is just as sexy as Johnny Depp).

however, i think that Smith has one of the best/sexiest/gimme more/major talented voices i've ever heard. the band's version of "Love Song" is far better than 311's, and "A Forest" gives me serious heart palpitations.

also, the fact that this band has carved it's own music genre amidst the oh-so-trendy punk rock and new wave movements back in the late '70's and early 80's and is STILL thumping the air waves is even more reason to give the Cure mad props and respect.

may i present...

top 10 Cure songs by far

(and in no particular order because i LUVVRRR them all):

1. Seventeen Seconds

2. Perfect Girl

3. Only One

4. Love Song

5. A Forest

6. Just Like Heaven

7. It's Friday I'm in Love

8. Close to Me

9. Why Can't I be You?

10. Pictures of You

so...turn off your cellular devices, close the blinds, lock the doors, and give yourself some SERIOUSLY dedicated time in order to honor the listening pleasure of one of the greatest bands to ever cross over the Atlantic to the shores of the United States.

'Tis the Season...

2009-09-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

for new shoes!!

Ladies....place your eyes on these little beauties from Guess. They're new arrivals...yay newbies!

*guess.com*

so, here's the low down on these pretty puppies

*black patent bow

*peep toe

*hidden platform

*black lace on beige base

*$110 (not my favorite aspect)

I have not seen these fabulous kicks in person, but they do seem to have a bit of pin-up girl style to them.

overall impression?

in the words of Ashlee Simpson:

L-O

L-O-V-E

oh Audrey!

2009-09-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of classic movies, and one of my favorite (and probably the most timeless) actresses of all is

Miss Audrey Hepburn.

her movies are always well written, and with her charm and grace she manages to really connect with her character, no matter what the role is.

Perhaps one of my favorite films from her is "Funny Face", starring Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire.

Hepburn plays Jo Stockton, an opinionated bookie turned model who is discovered by photographer Dick Avery (aptly played by Astaire). The movie is shot on location in Paris

It's the classic love story (which all us romantic saps adore)

PLUS...

there are some fabulous musical bits, that surprisingly are NOT cheesy. not one bit.
my favorite number was "Think Pink!"

anyway...classics never die, and this flick is definitely one for the books.

dead leaves and the dirty ground

2009-09-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

soooo....2 blogs in 1 day. yikes. i might be getting addicted to this.

anyway.

i'm wrapping up another mundane day at the office, and to my delight what delicious sound should spring from xm radio?

the haunting, psychedelic, scrumdiddlyumptious

W H I T E S T R I P E S

meg and jack white of The White Stripes

for those of you who love this band, you should also check out Jack White's latest side project known as Dead Weather. This band consists of Alison Mosshart (The Kills), Dean Fertitia (Queens of the Stone Age), Jack Lawrence (The Raconteurs), and of course, Jack White. it's a similar sound to the white stripes, but just a splash more rock n' roll added to it.

i die.

ahhhh true love

2009-09-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

for the past 5 years or so, the epidemic of oversized sunglasses has taken over the fashion industry in a huge wave. i myself am a major fan....i don't care if my brothers make fun of me saying i "look like a bug". Jackie O set the stage for this image, and i believe it will continue to carry on for many years to come.

about 2 years ago, i made a fantastic investment in some Von Zipper shades (mine are black)

* Von Zipper "Dharma" *

vonzipper.com

and last year a very dapper gentleman gifted me with these lovelies

* Anon "Luce" *

anonoptics.com

and i have been absolutely DROOLING over these new windows for my noggin

* Von Zipper "Riviera" *

vonzipper.com

at the end of the day, i feel like your accessories should make a statement about who you are. i like to feel fabulous but not fussy....calm, collected, and cool. i like to exude confidence, yet still be down to earth.

OF COURSE a pair of these brand spankin' new shades have no business other than being in my possession.

happy shopping everyone!

xoxoxo

it's good to be the king

2009-08-31T16:57:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen....may i present...

the VERY funny (and underrated)

H I S T O R Y O F T H E W O R L D

a film by Mel Brooks

"it's good to be da king..."

I first discovered this little GEM of a flick way back in circa 1996. My BFF Alicia and I were total geeks back then (we're totally cool now...ok maybe not!), and would gorge ourselves on Schwanz ice cream and watch this movie over and over again. For the sad, bleak lot of you who don't know what this film is all about, allow me to explain:

Mel Brooks (who in my ~~humble~~ opinion is one of the most talented and original actors in Hollywood) directed and starred in this movie. It's a parody/documentary of some various important milestones of the human existence, including (but not limited to):

*The French Revolution

"you don't PUT out....he don't GET out!"

* the 10 Commandments (originally 15 but he drops one of the tablets. VERY funny scene)

"The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen-- Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey..."

* The Spanish Inquisition (which Brooks transformed into a musical)

aaaand (also maybe my most favorite part of the flick...)

*the Roman Empire

I think the sheer genius of Brook's comedy is that he isn't afraid to be bold. There are many eyebrow-raising scenes throughout the film (for example, Gregory Hines, who plays a slave, deters a persuing group of guards with a giant joint of marijuana that he rolled after coming across a field of the drug), yet (questionable or not) they're innocent enough to still manage to get a good belly laugh out of the audience. I've read a few online articles about this movie, and it kills me that there are such stuffy critics out there. This is in a genre of it's own....there's no way you can characterize it as a "dumb comedy". For one, as a teenager I didn't even understand most of the humor until I was in my late teens/early 20's. For two, it's fricken MEL BROOKS!!

today's society needs to purge itself of such films like "Dude, Where's My Car" and "Napolean Dynamite" and get back to the classics.

to put it bluntly, add this movie to the top of your queue on Netflix. ASAP.

XOXOXO

break me off a piece of THAT!

2009-08-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

ok. so after many minutes of racking my brain trying to decide what fresh sound I wanted to promote to all of you, i simply

could

NOT

make

single

choice.

...therefore, i figure it's best that i just let you all in on a scrumptious little secret oasis of music i enjoy on a daily basis:

~~sirius xm~~

this is a delightful indie rock channel on my online radio subscription, full to the brim of raw talent. i've discovered seriously rad bands such as...

mannequin men, mika miko, screaming females

....among a number of other underground, post-garage phase, minor label signed bands.

if ANY of you are die-hard indie fans like me, this station is well worth the $15/month you'll have to fork over.

so.....dig into your In n Out burger fund, and jump on the ~~XM bandwagon~~!

xoxoxo

calling all woodstock fans...

2009-08-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

there is a growing fashion trend that I have been somewhat on the fence about. one that can either make or break one's image.

it can look fabulous or completely CHEESY.

drum roll please......

presenting THE HIPPIE HAIRBAND.

i myself have tried this look, however i think that i bought the wrong hairbands (or...perish the thought....i have a GIANT noggin) because:

a) my hair kept mushrooming up from how tight the hairband wrapped around my head

b) i felt like i was having an aneurysm from the pressure on my skull, not to mention the fantastic stripe that was slapped across my forehead after taking off the hairband.

while mrs. peter wentz does pull off the hippie image without looking cheesy, i'm wondering if it's a look most twenty-something fashionistas such as myself and my fabulous group of friends can also rock?

any votes? to hairband or not to hairband?

for all of you Urban Outfitter fans, here's another hairband that I found to be totally H-O-T. i am a huge fan of the vintage look, and this one really set the bar with rad and trendy hair accessories.

let me know what you all think of this trend, and if you have any referrels as to where i can find some comfortable hairbands that don't threaten to squeeze my brain out of the top of my skull PLEASE PASS THEM ON TO ME!

xoxoxo

little lovers so polite

2009-08-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

(psssst! don't tell my boyfriend)

...but these days, i am confident to say that i am completely smitten by a certain indie band from L.A.

ummm....have you heard of Silversun Pickups??

if not...DO check them out. they're a delicious, modern, fantastical indie-rock band blending sounds reminiscent of Sonic Youth, Smashing Pumpkins, and a dash of Velvet Underground.

basically....pure, undeniable magic.

Needless to say, lead singers Brian Aubert and Nikki Monninger have completely stolen my heart. Their voices are beautifully harmonic and in sync with each other, and give their musical image that "certain something".

I've had the song "Rusted Wheel" playing on repeat in my car for 2 days straight now, and have zero intention so far of changing it.

so hop onto iTunes...head to your nearest record store...or check out their Myspace page. let me know what you all think!

xoxo

soundtrack of my life

2009-08-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

so....for those who have not had the pleasure --- nay, the honor -- of seeing this film, please excuse yourself immediately, and drive to the nearest blockbuster to rent Garden State.

this is my all-time favorite movie, hands down, and i believe that EVERYONE should see it!

fantastic facts about this movie:

a) zack braff and natalie portman have amazing chemistry in this film, believe it or not

b) the soundtrack definitely is one of the BEST i've ever heard.

1. Coldplay - Don't Panic
2. The Shins - Caring Is Creepy
3. Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line
4. The Shins - New Slang
5. Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
6. Cary Brothers - Blue Eyes
7. Remy Zero - Fair
8. Nick Drake - One Of These Things First
9. Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde
10. Simon and Garfunkel - The Only Living Boy In New York
11. Iron And Wine - Such Great Heights
12. Frou Frou - Let Go
13. Bonnie Somerville - Winding Road

c) there's a scene where one of the characters is dressed in a full suit of armor due to his employment at Medieval Times. 'nuff said.

this cinematographic style of this movie is pretty rad, and the tone of the film is fairly mellow, albeit a bit dark. Zack Braff's character (Andrew Largeman) really sends out the message that he is desperately reaching out for normalcy, even though he has been doped up on prescription drugs since he was a young boy to prohibit him from "going crazy" after a tragic accident left his mother confined to a wheelchair for the remainder of her life. He isolates himself from those who know and love him after he moves to California to pursue an acting career, but is forced to come home after his mother unexpectantly dies. Throughout the movie, Largeman grasps onto tangible objects to keep him grounded, and he is finally able to truly have a clear mind, without the aid of drugs. Sam (Portman's character) is a breath of fresh air for Largeman. She's charmingly naiive, going through life with the care-free attitude of a 12 year old trapped in a 20-something year old girl. There's a scene where she and Largeman are in her room, and it makes her seem even more young...from the jumbled and dusty collection of random toys and records, to the chaotic mess of clothes covering her bed, one really seems to feel that Sam has no real clue about living like an adult in the "real world". However, that naiivety seems to be exactly what Largeman needs in his life. After taking orders from his dominating father, to the equally fast-paced life of his "acting" career in Hollywood, coming back to his roots in New Jersey seems to be the pivotal point in his life where he realizes what's important to him. Not fame, not social approval, not wealth....just true love and a free spirit.

anyway, once again, PLEASE see this movie. you'll thank me later!

xoxoxo