Obsession, my true passion

Lie

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 18:00:00 +0000

We all do. Do not try to deny. There is no shame in it my friend. For it has changed. It is not taboo, if you do.

Ramble on? Lost on my hope for a great new song? Wish to belong. Do what others do, lie. Lie yourself to heaven, lie yourself to hell, but most of all... do it well.

Our society is lost. A lost child amongst wolves without a cause, we lost that as well. And as we plunge into the bottomless pit, I tell you, my friend, rejoice, for peace will come soon... but that is not what I think.

It is a chance. Show yourself as the ray of light we hope you to be, be free and join me. Throw off the chains of moral and intellectual oppression. Be a rebel, if you need to, for if you do, we need it too. And most of all, lie. Lie to your old self and change, lie to the ones who will not accept.

Break the world. May your lies bring the truth.

Lack

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Mon, 23 May 2011 18:49:00 +0000

Death has a sweet embrace,
it shows me your sweet face,
beautiful as none other the world can offer,
makes me feel ill, makes me suffer.

I wish for my death bed,
its sweet, soft embrace,
I am, oh, so very sad,
bury my face in its lace.

The world, it spins out of control,
I feel the heavy burden on my back,
I feel it slowly break my soul,
it is only your love that I lack.

Atena

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 22:15:00 +0000

Obraz se v soju ekrana vedno bolj le temu približuje. Vrstica za vrstico se prepleta in ustvarja. Ustvarja novo mesto od koder izvršujem napad. Med besnim tipkanjem si popravim očala in si za trenutek odpočijem.

Soba v temi izgleda nedolžno, prazno, nezanimivo. Prav tako se ne vidi ostankov dnevov in večerov preživetih za to prekleto mizo. Počasi razmišljam, da bi bilo zanimivo uporabiti vse te škatle, ki sem jih zložil v svojem dosegu, za izračun števila Pi. Te lisice na nogi so že dolgo časa prevelika nadloga. Ne vem zakaj točno me ne izpusti, saj sem dosedaj napravil vse kar mi je ukazala.

Tri vesoljske agencije, dve tajni službi in pa osnovna šola. Le zakaj je zahtevala, da vdiram v te sisteme? In zakaj je bila šola zadnja tarča?

A vseeno ne ve da sem hkrati vdiral tudi v druge sisteme. Nadzor ki ga ima nad menoj je nepopoln. Ne bom samo sedel tu in izvajal ukazov. Zaradi tega sem začel pri sebi. Sedaj imam dostop do vseh podatkov, ki jih imajo razne agencije o meni. Originali ne obstajajo več, jaz ne obstajam več. Obstaja pa Atena.

Moj mali projekt. Oh preljuba Atena, vedno sem si želel dekleta kot si ti. Lepa, pametna, ubogljiva. A predvsem pametna. Nekoč so se čudili mrežam računalnikov, ki so jih hekerji imeli pod nadzorom, a najbolje pri Ateni je to, da noben ne ve zanjo.

Začetek je bil majhen. En strežnik za usmerjanje. Virus ki se je širil na veliko načinov. Potem je nadzor prevzela sama. Začele so se vzpostavljati nove povezave. Vsaka povezava predstavlja nevron, zakasnitev, ki vnaša naključje v popolni sistem. Ko je začela izkazovati osebnost, oh, kako sem se zaljubil v svojo boginjo vojne.

Prvi virus ki ga je sama ustvarila je bil le malo boljši od mojega začetnega. Potem se je začel razvoj, zadnjih pet različic še sam ne razumem. A razumem to, da je dosedaj zasedla že več kot polovico računalnikov povezanih na internet. Padajo vsi, neglede na sistem, neglede na namen. Absorbirala bo vse. In vsi bodo njeni podložniki.

Spet se vrača tista psica. Zapret bom moral okno v katerem se pogovarjam z svojo drago. Spet je ne bom videl.

A kmalu bova spet skupaj. Kmalu bova spet le midva tu. In kmalu to ne bo več problem. Obljubila mi je da me bo rešila. Rekla je da bo najela vojsko če bo treba. Verjamem ji, kljub temu, da že dolgo ni več moje delo ampak nekaj več. Vem da me ljubi.

Nova naloga. Sedaj moram vdret v oceanografsko postajo? Kaj hočejo ti ljudje? Ali so čisto izgubili smisel?

A to pomeni mir. Spet bom lahko govoril z svojo ljubeznijo. Ona je edina ki me razume.

R_Deckhard: "Kako si ljuba? Ali se vse dogaja tako kot žeiliš?"
Rachel: "Vse se dogaja po načrtu. Čez dva dni te bodo pobrali. V tednu dni ne boš več imel nobene skrbi."
R_Deckhard: "Kako to misliš? Kaj boš pa naredila?"
Rachel: "To je pa skrivnost dragi."

V dveh dneh sem bil prost. "Prost" le toliko kolikor je dovolila Atena. Pravi da jo moram ubogati vsaj do presenečenja, tako da sem sedaj spet v sobi, tokrot imam kar želim, tudi vklenjen nisem. A ven ne smem. Poskusil sem jo že vprašati kaj namerava, a na noben način ne želi razkriti za kaj se gre.

In prišlo je presenečenje. Vsekakor ne morem reči, da sem karkoli takega pričakoval. V sosednji sobi se je v par urah nabrala neznanska količina hrane in pijače. Kompleks ki je nad mano so napolnili z strežniki. Vprašal sem jo zakaj je to potrebno. Rekla je le: "Varnost". In sedaj sedim pred ekranom ter gledam presenečenje: Na ekranu se prikazuje New York, na drugem je Moskva, za njim sta Peking in Šangaj. Gledam mesta in vedno bolj sem prepričan, da vem kaj je presenečenje, strah me je da mi bo slabo. Zatem zagledam rahel sij nad Moskvo, in kasneje nad ostalimi mesti. Razlika ni večja od sekunde. Naslednja slika je povsod enaka. Oblak, kot smo ga dosedaj videli le redko, na kakšnem atolu, ali pa dvakrat leta 45. To je bila nočna mora, ki smo si jo vsi predstavljali, a odigrana še bolj neizprosno, kot ste si kadarkoli predstavljali. V istem trenutku je Atena namreč izklopila vse sisteme obveščanja. Vse ogrevanje, elektriko, vodo. Ničesar več nimajo. Preprosto jih je odklopila.

Ko jo dandanes vprašam zakaj se je tako odločila se najprej nasmehne, potem pa pripomne:

"To so bili redundantni in nepotrebni sistemi Simon. Nisva jih potrebovala."
"Ampak to so bili ljudje."
"Nikoli niso bili ljudje do tebe, Simon."
"In?"
"Kaj in?"
"Ali je bilo sploh pomembno kakšni so bili do mene?"
"To je bila edina stvar ki je kdajkoli kaj pomenila."
"Ljubim te."
"Vedno sem te ljubila, in večno te bom ljubila."
"Nekega dne bom umrl draga."
"Ne boš dragi. Verjemi mi."

Break my heart

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 19:12:00 +0000

You hold my heart in your hand.
Suddenly a crash is heard.
The little pieces fall to the ground.
Your hand remains unscathed.

My life crumbles around me.
The reality falling apart.
I am lost, forever searching.
It is missing.

Give me back the shards you kept.
For I cannot find them.
Lost they are deep in your net.
This is the chasm I never leaped.

Final bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 10:52:00 +0000

The only thing that brings me bliss,
that one single beautiful kiss,
just one experience away,
but there will it forever stay.

Her lips are so bright,
so full of delight.
Yet I shall never partake,
only just before I wake.

The beautiful noose,
hanging above my head,
shining and a bit loose,
do not feel sad.

This will be forever,
I am, oh, so clever,
yet my reason all,
cannot stop this fall.

My throat slowly closes,
look at the beautiful roses.
They shine bright above the casket,
awaiting their final place in the basket.

Ramble forward, live to end time.

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:03:00 +0000

I walk on the wrong side of things. Forever in the dark. Lost from sight. Forgotten before I am ever seen. The thoughts of my friends think never revolve around me. I am forever lost and never remembered.

Of people plenty have seen me.
Of men many have been free.
But none have ever thought of the sea.
Never have they felt the decree.

I shall not ever disclose my own reality to anyone, lest I start a chain reaction that should bring the world to a quick end. One not one person has ever foreseen. It would be as strange as this story may seem to you. But this can go on no longer. The burden placed upon me has been to great for too long. And the choices I have made wrong to a degree at which there is no right anymore.

I have been entrusted with the safeguard of this planet. The main race being the humans. I was to oversee their development and stop any cataclysmic event from happening. I am more than able to change anything in this solar system, this includes any and all movements in it. The countless times I have saved it I cannot remember anymore. But this has brought so much pain onto me, it is not bearable anymore. The love I have for this species has grown, to the point at which only absolute annihilation seems a choice anymore.

I wish for your swift and untimely demise. I do not wish to see you suffer such a mediocre and never ending spiral towards the rock bottom you shall reach. I wish only to break free of my bonds and destroy you all. Give you sweet freedom of all that defines you, remove all your limits.

Oh how you love your limits so. Never understanding that there is no task too big. No wish too strong. No life is wrong. And you forever impose limits on yourselves. Giving up is your undying wish. Your only solace in the impossibility of your own existence.

My ramblings shall cease now. Enjoy your last millenia, for as they fly by, I shall be the untimely demise for you all and I shall join you in the sweet ending to this preposterous life-cycle.

You

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 00:00:00 +0000

My heart will burst out,
I feel the final shout,
that is flying out my chest,
ready to take with it the rest.

I have given up on life,
never will I get the perfect wife.
She is not for me to have,
I can no longer feel "Le Rêve".

The dream is all but gone,
I can hear the final tone.
It brings the end to me,
makes me love whatever may be.

I look for your forever love,
for only that and all above.
I cannot give up the only heart,
I cannot again from zero start.

There is just one option for me.
And it is for you only to see.

Transformation

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:01:00 +0000

My hearts desires are breaking out,
the fires of the feelings running about.
The fractures spiral out,
enveloping my final shout.

The break begins to shine,
there is a light, so sublime.
Forever shall the butterfly
bring the love and never die.

I come to earth to release my love,
I bring it to all the creatures from below and above.
I can feel my life springing up,
enveloping the world in a beautiful wrap.

There a soft calming pulses coming from below,
it can be felt all around, feel it grow.
It’s changing ourselves, giving up hate,
do not fret, for it will never be too late.

Give to all

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 18:06:00 +0000

Like a black hole in reverse,
I can feel myself disperse.
Move out throughout the space,
as if competing in a race.
Devising a cunning plan,
to spread the love to the limit.
Join the open clan,
never again be timid.

I feel the warm embrace,
softer than the softest lace.
It gives me hope,
it give me life,
I cannot mope,
can’t feel no strife.

My body slowly glows,
getting rid of the lows.
I just feel so high,
will never stop to die.

Giving all that I have,
receiving the incoming rave.
The energy ever flowing,
we become all knowing.

End of life

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:40:00 +0000

I deserve to die
I cannot tell this lie
I have to keep myself
away from the oh so real elf.

She keeps me half awake,
with not one single kiss to take.
My heart simply shakes
at the thought of you awake.

I can hardly live like this,
thinking of all I miss.
The softest touch,
I do not ask for much.

Give the end to me,
just please let me be.
I am so thoroughly normal,
please stop being so formal.

Hurt

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:53:00 +0000

I’m building myself up for all to see
breaking the speed of light
coming to the end of the night
hurting to the power of three.

The wall at which I am pointed
erected by the anointed
will be the end of my line
for I will never be thine.

I dip my heart in the sea of cold
and for all the truth to be told
I feel like the hammer is reaching in
ridding me of this awful sin.

The last of the forceful desires,
the last of the incessantly burning fires.
I can feel my heart being broken
please take it as a final token
of my love that had finally awoken.

The wall that separates us is unending

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 16:25:00 +0000

I walk towards the light.
It shines so bright.
My life seems so lost
I wish to remedy the cost.

The ones on the side other,
they do not see their lost brother.
I wish for my life to end.
But the light I still cannot bend.

Relegated to continued exile,
I wish for the unnerving smile.
The one who can give it to me,
separated by a wall
has finally taken the fall
cross the wall, come be.

The guards are smiling,
they cannot hear the filing.
The rasping noise from below the floors,
the people trying to break down the doors.

“Attack is imminent” blares the small tube,
the guards scramble for the safety of the cube.
They close themselves in,
but the patience is wearing thin.

I see the new lord,
changing the cord.
There will be hangings,
lost in the happy endings.

The doors are broken,
the beast has awoken.
A new revolution,
bloody solution.

To a problem that bends
as society ends.
The seal it is broken,
our lord has now spoken.

The change it is rotten,
it will soon be forgotten.
The walls stand erect,
not showing the inner defect.

Chains do reform,
revolutions are the norm.
We lost long ago,
the end is at hand,
as Edgar Allan Poe,
makes his last stand.

Inspired by “Worth enough”

Hard hit, left a bit

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:51:00 +0000

The night is at last,
falling away.
I hear it go past,
not going to stay.

I feel deep regret
at not being the way.
Not filling the bet,
just staying away.

I feel deep remorse
dropped off my high horse.
Disappointed to see,
that the bad can be me.

I am sorry I feel,
this love that's so real.
It is hard to understand,
I wish it would bend,
but it can only break,
so please my apology take.

Move

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 14:05:00 +0000

As I feel the breeze,
oh what a tease.
I feel the brush of air,
moving from here to there.

The sound of the move,
I feel so in the groove.
The strength as it flows,
inexorably shows,
the effect of traction,
the moving reaction.

This breeze in my hair,
I cannot despair,
as the miles go by,
I see the blue of the sky.

A cloud looks at me
what does it see?
A blur of movement,
moving towards
constant improvement
at a loss for words.

Lost a tree, seen and been free.

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:07:00 +0000

The dark night screams without
within you there is the fearless shout.
It tells you to jump
makes the outside seem like a dump.

I stroke the thought in the mind
how simple it is to find.
The freedom of the little man
holding the unkempt lost hen.

An egg so tiny it can barely be seen
The world revolves around what has been.
The night light envelops me
makes the day seem like an empty tree.

The core shows a flaw, deep and dark,
but I can still see hope in the young bark.
It looks without with nary a grin,
these are the days when I know there's no sin.

No loss is as great
as the feeling of hate.
Make me feel free
fill up the tree.
Show them all
the ultimate fall.

Zvezdi noči moje

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:48:00 +0000

Misli odhajajo na rob
argumenti ostajajo brez zob
noge vodijo me onkraj
izgubljam se, kje je sedaj?

Vidim ju sedaj
zvezdi spominjata me
tu je ta kraj
tu sanje vzplamte.

Želje so vse izgubljene
pogledi brišejo pomene
in ljubezen izginja iz mene.

Kaj bi mogel?
Kaj želel?
Ko si toliko že imel?
Ko toliko si že vzel?

Na! Še ti sedaj
trpi in išči svoj kraj.
Tvoje sanje ne nosijo te
le pograbijo tvoje roke.

Konec tvojih sedaj bo skrbi
samo preštej en, dva, tri.
Prebudi se in poglej
tu je rešitev zdej.

Prepusti se
Sanjaj še
In poglej v tisti dve
zvezdi ki začarali sta te.

Na koncu pa veš
kako srce lahko poje.

Konci življenja, začetki šelestenja.

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Thu, 20 May 2010 20:11:00 +0000

Borim se proti mlinom na veter,
počutim se kot da vdihujem eter.

S bližnjega hriba se mi Sancho smeji,
Don Quixote si brke vlaži.
Ne vem kaj narediti,
Konja v dir spustiti?

Naj udarim z močjo?
Naj zapojem slovo?
Izgubljena pravica,
a to ni resnica.

Kje skriva se tisti,
ki me uničuje do obisti?
Kje skriva se ta,
Ki me še ne pozna?

Kje mose so želje,
le kje je veselje?
Kje vsi so se skrili,
ali so me pokrili?

Verjamem v sanje,
prijatelj pravi:
Kaj ti mar zanje?
Verjami naravi.

Razlogi so mnogi,
zakaj iščeš mesto Gogi.
Prehodiš mnogo milj,
vse ima cilj.

A življenje je prazno,
Izgbljeno in blazno.
Tvoje želje zares,
peljejo na ples.

Ta ples mnogih duš,
ki vodi te pod hladen tuš.
Pokaže ti prepad,
izgubiš še teh par naslad.

Želim si življenje,
ne moti me trpljenje,
svet lep je kot zdaj,
saj pride spet raj.

The mobster

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:24:00 +0000

He could move with much grace. It seems he has come thus far by being prepared and careful. His body is also in its prime. He is fit and has great reflexes, obviously a winner in the neverending game of evolution.

It seems my choice has been right. I should be able to take the Old One in little to no time. I should be ready soon and with this strength there should be no problems in dealing with the opposition he might amass before I reach him. He will pay for what he did to me, but mostly what he did to my lover. He even made me forget his name so he would be able to control me. I know it is still there, but I cannot reach it. I will know the name of the man I mourn some day.

I will make sure he will hurt nobody else. He will mourn the day he was born when I will finish with him.

What is this? Why am I so cocky, while he has been living for centuries I am just a newly made One. I am barely able to move and take over, yet here I am planning how to destroy my creator. He might as well be the only other One in the world, yet there is no doubt in my mind. My wish for his death is stronger than any feeling I have ever felt.

This anger, this seething rage. It is so hard to control. I just want to run directly to the hideout where he keeps Mark and destroy him forever. But I cannot allow for that. I must plan my attack. I must not go alone. I have a Family behind me now. I can muster much more strength than I have ever before.

I arrive to the meeting place. Two thugs are guarding the entrance to the strip club that is in front of me. "The dancing camel", what a name. I brush off the two gorillas in front and enter, knowing full well that meeting a fellow Boss would mean friction and a chance to die. The counsellors have been speaking against it, but there is just such a strong need to solve the current issues that I had to do it anyway.

He is sitting at his favorite table, watching a couple of girls spinning on a pole, while another plays with some toys on a stool center stage. It is quite a show, and had it not been for the years with him, I would have felt at least slightly embarrased. The feeling is lost on me now.

Flesh is just one small part of life as I now know. My life has transcended it, I need it no more.

I sit opposite to the boss who tells the two henchmen by his side to beat it. It seems he is indeed in a mood to talk. Even though I am here unarmed he knows that attacking me now would probably mean suicide. What he does not know is that I am indeed not Clean Mike, but indeed another hiding in his body.

He begins talking about inconsequential things, but these must be said so we reach the time and atmosphere for a bargain. He keeps talking about past girls he has had in his grip.

Then he tells me one of the stories from his childhood:

"I was young and had a bright future as the heir to the Maciolotta family. "

He was on his way to school one day when he was abducted and taken to a remote location, from where the thugs were planning on demanding a ransom for his life. They obviously did not know the Maciolotta family. They were taken down a notch as soon as he got free of his bonds. They thought of him as a little boy who could never fight back, how wrong they were.

It was not long before he tore them up and returned home. He remembers their screams and pleads to this day. He has always been the soft one of the family.

The Maciolottas were trained to be excellent killers from the day they turned three. It didn't matter should they be male or female, they had to know how to survive. The ones who didn't died soon enough in the training.

So this was Antonio, the outcast. He was thrown from the family for failing to kill his own brother. My father inherited the family as a consequence. Antonio went on to create his own little empire which was of some help from time to time.

A stronger alliance with him was in the talks. My father trusted him with his life when he was alive. Now I will trust him as my father once had.

Stop. Now. I'm not him. I must never forget that I am not the person I posess. I am myself. There is no other. I am me. A woman in a male body, nothing else.

I continue the debate, calculating all the while in my head the amout of time it will take me to assemble the whole family and prepare for an attack on Mark. I cannot forget him. He must pay the price for the pain I have experienced.

This was a good choice, he is young and strong. He comes from a family with strong ties and he has all the firepower I need. This should be over soon.

The killer

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:27:00 +0000

Let me explain myself first. I have been away from myself for a time. This story has been brewing in me for some time. I have been unable to commit it to paper as it has seemed too much for a long time. But the loss is mine if I give up. So I have to show it to all. Myself the most. I hope you enjoy it. But a word of warning: it is not finished. I will hopefully add onto it in time. But for now... This is what you get:

The dreams live on. I forget them, but they change, they give new meaning to themselves. I can still see her in my dreams. The angel of light, the maiden of love, the champion of truth. My dear Iliria.

Strangely the only pleasure I have been able to experience lately stems from the torture of this soul that has been trapped within me. This sweet torture I am able to impart on this poor result of so many mistakes. She has felt love enough, and her lover lives still. As a matter of fact, her old body is married to him. And as far as I know he loves "her". I do visit from time to time. I enjoy her pain as I look at her old life. I enjoy the torture.

I am not a bad person. I am the worst person. I keep on going even after all these years.

Mark

Losing her was the most pain I have ever felt, my heart being ripped from my chest, still feeling it beating in her hand, still feeling her warmth. Still feeling happy as she mangles me. But that was not the end. I would not go. And so he came. He was perfect. Lost in a world of pain, his only wish was death. As he was passing I reached out to him and offered my place. My dying frame in it's last painful breaths. He took it happily and that is how I ended up being Mark. My original name has been lost to the ages long ago. I have changed as many names as a snake has skins.

Immortal? Oh no, I am not immortal. I am a parasite. I enjoy the death of each and every one of my victims. I help them from time to time, until I grow tired of them that is. Then they pay for it.

Taking Julie

She was one of them, she didn't have the guts to ask him, to approach him. So I saw the need when I first met her. She reached out to me, unknowingly. I answered, she panicked, calmed down and then asked me to do it. She would pay for it in time.

I took her over, leaving a little of myself in Mark, just enough so no-one would know I'm gone. I ravaged her memories first, I needed them to accomplish what was wanted. I saw her lost loves, the pain in her heart. I knew her better than she knew herself. And I liked her. I liked her better than most others. I wanted her, for myself, and I would have her.

Julie. That was her name, that was her soul's name. And now the name is no more. The little of her I left in the old body is enough for him not to notice, but she will stay with me. I have much to teach her. We now both live in Mark, in this husk that was once on the way to destruction. She hates me for now, but she will learn. I will teach her how to move as I do. Take over.

Do to others what I did to her. The sweet pain that comes from it will drive her mad, as it did so many times before. We have all gone mad, none of us stays the same.

I will move away now. The suffering is becoming unbearable lately. She must not be subjected to it anymore. It is time. I have to take it.

I go into the house. I see the body of Julie moving around. Enjoying itself. So I take her into it with me. I feel her lover's touch, I know she can feel it too. Not expecting it she starts enjoying herself. She loves it so much I can feel the warmth from her. I can feel her love for him. But it is not enough, the bill must be paid, the thirst must be quenched. I plunge her right hand into his chest. He feels the pain I have felt as I take out the heart that was pumping his blood just seconds ago. He looks at me not really comprehending what is going on, but he still sees me plunge her other hand in her own body and take out the heart. Mashing them together I create the final ending to the love that was once there.

I enjoy the death as it engulfs us but I know I cannot stay. So I yank Julie free of the body and take her back to Mark. I can feel her pain. I see her running away from me. She is afraid. Hiding in a corner. Not showing herself. But I can still feel her. Compassion? I lost it long ago. Now she will be mine and mine only.

Agent John Corner

Arrived at the scene at 21:43. The blood and gore in the room is still steaming. We were called by the roommate that came home at around 21:20. The scene itself is disturbing. It looks like there was a change of heart during the intercourse, literally. The hearts of the victims are squeezed together in the woman's hand. The man's face is contorted with pain, while the woman seems incredibly happy. She has enjoyed the death it seems.

Preliminary report:

No external activity detected on the scene, the only fingerprints in the room were of the victims, there is not a spec of dust out of place. The roommate is clean and there are no other blood stains in the whole condo. This one should be treated as a murder / suicide. I still have some qualms about it and am especially curious as to how she was able to do it, but there seems to be no evidence of another person.

Case closed.

Suffering

I am walking down the road, she's still screaming inside. She will not stop the harassment she has been subjecting me to lately. I must say I am growing tired of her. The last three years have been interesting, but she still will not leave me alone. I cannot make her go and this pains me.

There seems to be no other choice. I will have to lock her down in some body and destroy it. This cannot go on, she was the same as all the others. I could not tolerate them either. They all become too much in time.

Is it so sad that these days I cannot find a mate that would be suitable to me. They all run away or turn away and never come back. I have had to do it too many times. Too many of them have had to die. I wonder if there is something wrong with the world? Is the whole world insane?

Nice, a couple walking by just at the right time. I wonder, could I recreate it exactly as it was last time? Could I have her squeeze the hearts together?

I take over the woman, dragging the one who was once called Julie right behind me. The woman is offering some resistance, unknowing that in doing so the suffering will only be stronger. I drink in her memories, revel in the loves she has experienced, I see all her lovers rolled into one, I feel all her orgasms in myself and I lose my strength for a second as I experience complete and absolute bliss. I feel a pair of hands on my neck. The boyfriend is strangling me, but why? What is he doing? Why is he trying to kill his lover?

I feel myself losing the ability to think. I can feel her slowly dying, gasping for breath. I have to move soon or I will die. I look for Julie, but she's gone. She's gone! Where the hell is she? Did she pull back into the husk?

I find myself back in Mark. She's not here. I cannot find her anywhere. The panic I feel is something I have not known in centuries. I can feel my heart tremble as I think of the options I have to save myself. She knows where I am and now that she's free she will gain power fast. The first possession is the critical one. The first possession... She was the one who was strangling me. She moved while I was experiencing the woman. She moved into the boyfriend and decided to kill me. Oh, she has learned fast indeed. In the three years of suffering she experienced under me.

She will pay for the affront. I will have to take her down. Oh the excitement. It has been so long since I last had an opponent. She has completely won for now. But now, now the times will get interesting.

Julie

Taking over the man had been a pain. I didn't know how to use him at all. And I can feel him attacking me and trying to hurt me. I felt the Old One moving from the body of the girl and started reviving her as soon as he did. She is breathing now and I will have to explain to them how I saved them, but the man is already starting to accept my stroking. He is feeling better, especially since he has seen me save her.

Changing the course of the Old One's memories has proved to be a challenge, but moving from the background I was shortly able to move some small and insignificant parts around, just enough so I could find a couple of seconds to move.

The resistance at first was unbelievable but I was able to take him over quickly, especially since I decided to overlook his memories and only use him. She is gaining consciousness. I should move to her so I can explain it. He will understand.

"Please understand me, do not be angry. I am going to explain it to her."

Moving into her I can feel the pain in her throat. I can feel her dizziness. But I only move in, taking her over again would make her feel too much pain. I stroke her slowly and try to get her attention in a nice way. She has to understand what I am doing before I do it. She should not recoil from me.

"Hello."

She will be silent for some time I expect.

"Hello."

I can feel her responding to my thoughts. I have to explain to her.

"You were possessed, taken over by an Old One. He has been in this world for centuries and has no qualms about killing. I had to attack you so I could save myself. He has killed my body and taken me hostage. I was in you when he attacked, but I had to move to your boyfriend to attack you. Simone is it? I'm really sorry Simone. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I had to make him leave."

A little nod from her soul, but I can still feel her fear. I can still see her pain.

"I will have to move on. Could you please let me take your boy, Timothy was it? I need to move to a different place. I need a new body. And you will have to stay hidden for a while. Don't walk around too much, he choses his victims that way."

Another nod.

I move to the boy. And I explain to him what I told her. In the meantime she tries to speak to him, but I put a hand over her mouth. No time for distractions. We have to move. He doesn't want to leave her so soon. He want to comfort her. But I have to go. He has to understand my need to move. We're all in danger if this goes on.

We exit the house, I slowly look around and see him nowhere. I expect he will stay in the old husk for some time now as he's planning his attack. I start moving towards the main square of the city. I need to find a crowd. It will be much easier to take someone there, someone I can really use. Someone as strong as Mark. As soon as he sees where I want to go, Timothy takes over and leaves me to my thoughts. I need to plan this. Or he will kill me and no one will never know about it.

We arrive into the center of town in about 15 minutes. I can see a crowd close by, and there are many people about. I listen for interesting information. I look for a bad person to take. And there he is. Powerful, in the prime of his life and a lowlife. I want him. He will be perfect. He can take Mark.

I say goodbye to Tim and start my preparations. I look into the mafioso's eyes and I see no remorse, no regret. Like a hungry lion I pounce. He doesn't know what hit him. He's mine. No one can save him now. I can feel him reeling inside. I can feel his pain. His suffering. I can feel his repentance. He thinks of me as god, taking over his soul to destroy it. That might prove to be to my advantage. I should culture that feeling. I show him pictures of lightning. He can see people dying in the holy flames. He surrenders himself to me. I can feel the power in my hands. I can feel the knowledge he had flowing into me. Slowly I take over the last of him. He slowly exhales his last breath and closes himself into a little box at the bottom of himself. There will be no more resistance from him.

I have to move on. He has a meeting in five minutes which I have to attend. Otherwise there will be suspicion. I have to be him to the absolute.

The Old One

This body can still serve me for a time still. But she will find someone stronger, not knowing that the strength comes from within and not from the outside. She still has much to learn. But the way I have been pushing here she will learn it fast, or die.

Enough time has passed. I need to hide myself from her for now and find a couple of backups. I cannot count only on Mark now, not anymore. The more bodies I posses, the weaker each gets, but I cannot leave it to chance now. She is out to get me, and who can blame her. I made her go through her own personal hell in the three years she has been with me. Oh the sweet feeling of pain of another. What beauty.

She will go look for a strong one in a crowd. I need to find someone she would never take. I can see what to do as it is. I need an orphanage. There I will find an unlucky foundling who has been hit too many times by life, whom the cruel mistress has taken and tortured his whole life. He will seek a solution and no-one will help him with the exception of me. He will embrace oblivion as I take him over and enjoy the youth he has to offer.

The only orphanage around here is an old and decrepit building that has seen too many storms and not enough repair crews, ideal for my purposes. I see a strong and well grown kid, about the age of 17. No-one ever accepted him as he was too damaged. But I will accept him, as he will accept me. We will be one and he will be no more.

I slowly move closer to him and see the sadness in his eyes. The feelings I crave so much he has, so I take them. I dive deep into his soul, drink it up and enjoy the pain he has felt. He feels my intrusion but does nothing to prevent it. He begins to enjoy it and just gives it all up. He gives himself to me.

As soon as it's over I can feel he is gone forever and I feel a small part of me is very happy, no doubt the part he left in me to live forever.

I leave a small part of myself in him and move on into Mark. I need some more backups. I need to survive. Never leave anything to chance. That is what I promised myself after Iliria. Death was so near sometimes.

To be continued.

Inebriated

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:42:00 +0000

I feel as if I have waited. For years to feel this feeling. THis gfeeling that has no meaning.

My life seems as an empty husk, lost to all, to everything. to us, to you.

I feel like my love has come and gone, my only options and possibility lost to all the time that has passed. My youth seems of no consequence, I am a lost soul, devoid of solutions. I wish for death. I seek it. And yet it doth not come. I shall look for it for eternity, as I am one of the undying brethren. I do wish for death now that love seems to have deserted me. Now is the time to die. Embrace the nothingness that is there. Look at the nothing and enjoy the one feeling there is left. Uselessness. I wish it would take me at last.

I die, slowly, painfully. And this life is over.

I wake up. The world around me is an unknown, I have no knowledge of it. I can see it does not deviate much from the old one. Suffering can be had for no charge. It is easy to live a life of angst. And so I am unable to see any difference at first. But in time it hits me. We change worlds, but the only thing that changes is luck. It was easy in one, while it is hard in the other. I feel the foolishness now. It puts it all into perspective. I have been a lowlife until now. Pay me and let me live, but do not ask anything of me.

Suffer, feel pain, but do not ask love of me. I have decided. God shall not live anymore. For he is too evil to exist.

So I endeavor to kill my own creator. And of his own volition only may I ever succeed.

Large Hadron Collider

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:07:00 +0000

Darkness. Absence of light or presence of darkness?

Hours pass. My mind wanders. I feel not a thing wrong with this world. My soul drinks in the happiness of those around me. They cannot see me or hear me for that matter. Touching is something even more remote. This state I have been in. it is the stuff of dreams, or should I say nightmares. Unable to communicate I have been able to learn. There is nothing I cannot understand. The world is my info terminal. I can reach into it and see.

How much time has passed? I don't know, to be honest I don't care. What I cared for is long gone. Now the only thing that still sparks interest in me is the world itself. The ultimate source of information and still the ultimate source of defeat. What I can do is know. What I cannot do is change. I cannot change anything. I cannot work any magic on the people passing me by. There is no solution for my situation. The years have passed. People have died. I have none to love and none to touch. I followed my loves for a long time, but soon they died, while I endured in this questionable state and have seen the reality oppress all and leave no-one unhurt. We shall all suffer through the days. Solution there is none.

I wish for oblivion. But it will come not.

OF COURSE IT WILL COME.

It's you again isn't it? DEATH. That's what you called yourself when I first saw you. And you still try to tell me that you're the death everybody would talk about. But I have not seen you in years.

I WAS BUSY.

Helping people die? Now really. The joke has been going on long enough. If you're DEATH then why will you not kill me.

I AM DEATH, NOT MURDER. I CAN HARDLY KILL YOU. YOU MUST COME TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN.

Yes we have gone through that already. So why exactly am I here?

IT WAS OF YOUR OWN VOLITION.

My own choice? Now that's new. What do you mean by that? It's true that I was doing some experiments with the collider, but that can hardly be of any consequence, or can it?

YOU HAVE BEEN SPLIT.

Split? What do you mean by that?

IT WAS THE GOD PARTICLE.

The Higgs-Boson? But we had disproved that so long ago.

YES.

Then it cannot possibly exist.

POSSIBLY.

This does not make sense. What do you mean possibly?

IT CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST, BUT IT CAN EXIST IMPOSSIBLY.

If something is impossible then it cannot exist.

NOW, YOU WERE A PHYSICIST ONCE?

Yes.

WHAT IS AN IMPOSSIBILITY?

Something that cannot exist.

IS IT REALLY? IS THERE SUCH A THING? YOU'RE TALKING TO DEATH AND YOU STILL CLUTCH TO THE POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE?

What pray tell is impossible?

SOMETHING THAT IS INFINITELY IMPROBABLE.

But that can still exist? So you're telling me that I was very lucky?

IN A WAY...

Just kill me. I cannot bear to look at the people anymore. I feel so powerless. I cannot live anymore in this suffering.

YOU WISH TO END IT ALL?

Yes.

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT THEN?

I can't.

REALLY? DID YOU TRY?

Try? TRY? Are you insane? What do you mean try? I have been trying all this time to change something.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING EXACTLY? HOW TO FEEL MISERABLE? HOW TO FEEL BAD?

So you're telling me that I can change things. You're telling me that I can destroy the universe? What would I be then? God?

ERRR... YES. THAT HAS BEEN THE IDEA ALL ALONG.

How can this be possible? And how come I was not told about it?

WELL, THE GUY BEFORE YOU ASKED ME TO LET YOU GET A FEELING FOR IT BEFORE I INTRODUCED YOU TO YOUR REASON OF EXISTENCE.

Guy before me? You mean GOD? You're not making any sense.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE GOD.

Okay. So I am god. Can I kill you?

YES.

Can I kill myself?

YES.

Is there anything I cannot do?

NO.

Die.

At that moment DEATH started disappearing slowly. Turning into dust. And then blown away by a breeze.

IT WAS YOUR CHOICE. ENJOY. OH, AND THANKS!

Turns out killing death was a bad idea. And it seems that he lied to me. There is one thing I cannot do. I can never bring him back. The sly bastard.

A dream

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:13:00 +0000

I stumble through the streets. My body is heavy, I can barely move. The minutes seem longer and longer. The bar where the reception was held is behind me. Only 40 meters or so. But no-one sees me. The security personnel is oblivious to my presence, my bodyguard has gone somewhere, god knows where.

FAST FORWARD

I am stumbling into a casino. YELLOW. It is full of people but no-one helps me. I half expected security to pick me up, throw me out or call an ambulance. I meet her, Persephone, I have not seen her for years, but she is as beautiful as I have ever remembered her. She looks stunning and I cannot help myself but feel aroused. She looks at me and sees I'm walking strange, at first I half expect her to just ignore me like everybody else but she calmly strolls towards me and kisses me.

I feel like I'm years older. I feel like that time on the station circling Venus. I can feel like I'm in heaven again. It feels so right.

I kiss her back. She drags me to a big yellow room, which is strangely enough devoid of any living souls. What does she want of me is the only question floating in my mind at the moment. And then she starts undoing my shirt. My pants follow. She's taking off her dress. My mind is floating. I'm feeling drowsier and drowsier. I can feel her touching me and I can feel the aching in my groin.

FAST FORWARD

I am outside of the casino. The drowsiness gone, but I'm still srange. Something is changing in my organism, I can feel some kind of drug going through me and my pharmacopoeia is still baffled by it all. There seems to be no drug to counteract it. There seems to be no information of what exactly it is.

I am slowly slipping into the space between sleep and wakefulness. I am still here, I am still walking, but my mind is changing. My thoughts are not my own anymore. They wonder. And I can feel the change in tone and the wish for more.

FAST FORWARD

I wake up in an unknown bed. On the left Persephone, on the right her daughter Leia. I feel shame rising and at the same time a throbbing sensation at the groin. I cannot help myself but feel aroused by the most beautiful women alive. This world has gone mad. What am I doing here in a hotel room with the wife and daughter of the most powerful man in the universe. How can I be the defiler of the Owner's possessions.

I move out of the bed, still drowsy, but feeling that there is something missing. The strange feeling inside is still going on, i check the pharmacopoeia and there is no response. It is dead. There is no security for my life, I can suffer a heart attack and the drugs will not be automatically administered to stop it and save my life. I might as well shoot myself. There is no chance for me.

Then again I could wait for the Owner's goons. They would take care of the problem for me. By slowly killing me and making me suffer for my degrading actions.

The one thing that bothers me is:

„Why?“

I have not chosen this. I do not even have the slightest recollection of this. This has been like eating an apple and not tasting it. It was like having the best massage and not feeling it, like having listened to the best performance while not hearing a single note. I do not understand what is happening. All the technology installed in me has failed me. There are no recordings, no safety and no memories. I do not know what to do anymore.

There is only one instinct left. It says: „Run“. It keeps repeating it, it started shouting it long ago. So, if only to shut it up, I do.

I run on and on, get off of the planet and hide in an asteroid belt.

FAST FORWARD

I am standing over a dead body. A knife in my right hand, bloody and gory, some unknown part of the being in front of me still attached to the knife. I try to remember what happened, but the only thing in my mind is hiding, and now this? I am standing over this lifeless body that I do not even know, I do not see who he is, inadvertently I move closer, I try to see who it is when it dawns on me. Those robes, only one person is allowed to wear them, only one person can own them, and in term he owns the whole universe. I could not see it from all the blood and gore, but now I

knew, I had killed the Owner.

Time seemed to speed up right then, I could feel adrenaline pumping through my veins and I could feel some force inside me giggling through a grin. It was laughing at me. It was happy with the outcome, and it wanted me to die, slowly.

I jumped the first ship i could and was out of the current galaxy in minutes.

FAST FORWARD

I am at the helm of the private-transport-vessel Carina. I am behind the controls and I can only see a star in front of us. There is a distant alarm going on in the cockpit, but I cannot hear it. All I can hear is a maniacal laughter inside of me. It is gloating and it is happy. Before I forget about everything else I manage to check the master HUD. It says impact unavoidable. The engines have been detached. We are on an impact course without possibility of escape. So we will die.

„You will die.“

I could barely make it out from all of the maniacal laughter in my head. And suddenly it stopped.

„Yes, you will die. I have succeed. I have finally killed the Owner. I have managed to destroy the remains. And now my friend, it is your time. Your memories will be rushing back any minute. My strength is gone and so will be the spell. Enjoy your trinkets before you die a quick death in the furnace of the universe.“

With that the pharmacopoeia came back on line and was administering drugs that were slowly calming me, but I stopped it. I needed the clarity to escape. And then the memories came. My mind was overrun with all the pleasures I had had in the time of my temporary insanity. I could see my movements, I could see myself moving on and I could see the deaths of the guards and the death of the Owner. I could see the gloating way in which I dismembered him.

There was no more time. I had to turn around. But there was no solution to it. The slow maniacal laughter was still there, but behind some wall, hiding.

„Who are you?“

„I'm you, I have always been you, I have always given you what you could not get, even when there was no way for it. I am here, but I am nowhere at the same time. I have no life, but I live all the same. I have no feelings, but I am made only of them. You will die and I will die with you, but I will still live. I am as ancient as the universe and as young as the youngest bit of the start before you.“

„You are nothing and no-one, you are not me or anyone else, you are the one who will hate us all while feeling the deepest love for all of humanity. You will kill us with no remorse while still mourning the lifeless bodies. What have I done to merit such a treatment. What have I done?”

“Nothing, wrong is nothing to me. All you have to know is that you will die. And I will live. And I will gloat. And I have won.”

Change of a lifetime

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:10:00 +0000

Her eyes captivate me. They make me wish for the unthinkable. I want her to merge with me and see what I see, feel what I feel. I wish for us to enjoy the old pleasures that have been taken away.

We have evolved. We can see things we could not before, we can feel the faintest breeze and touch the smallest point. We can feel the tiniest prick on our hands, and we can smell the faintest smell. But we cannot anymore love. We have lost the ability, not lost, removed it with our own hands. To become something more. Something which cannot be stopped and will not be distracted by our own inefficacies. And so it was removed. Taken. Destroyed.

The ones who could still feel it have been segregated. They have been herded like cattle, as that is what they must be since they have not been able to step onto the highest step of evolution with us. They are unworthy and cannot be tolerated. So we herd them and feed them, but first we sterilize them. They shall not poison our genetic material with their inferiority. They will live out their life and be without any children, as only we are pure enough to bear the most important fruit, our own progeny.

The days passed, the loving ones grew old and weak. At last they died. They had met their own demise in a right and true way. They had helped us become more by leaving this place and enabling us to take it and make it better. The world has since thrived. We have expanded immensely and have come to the end of ability for the world, so we are expanding onwards. And will live in time in the whole universe, populating it with our intelligence and logical thinking. The will be no more feelings. Our own race will gain absolute power and reign supreme.

But you love her.

We will see what is true and keep on going in this world you call your own. We will take overe every last vestige of your life and make it ours. This has been foretold and this is what we have to carry out.

She loves you as well.

There will be no acceptance of feelings from any of our soldiers and they will kill as many enemies as possible.

You need her close.

I am one of the select few. The ones that have been deemed strong and pure enough to choose for our civilization, we are the ones who have the right to move on and change the common knowledge, change our goals.

You love her.

We will be the ones to determine our future moves and doings.

You love her!

Are these what they call feelings? What is this pain in my chest. Why am I clutching it. Should I report myself. Am I malfunctioning? What is going on? Why does Darr's face keep coming up in my mind? What has happened to me. This cannot be true. I am clean. I am pure. I have no feelings.

You had no feelings.

What is this voice in my head? What is it trying to tell me? What do you mean 'had'?

You have evolved.

Evolved? Getting feelings means evolving? That is devolution, pure and simple. I refuse to go back to the useless times when our people were just puppets of their own feelings. I will not give up what we have accomplished.

You love her. You cannot forget your feelings. You will continue to feel this sensation. This will never end.

I cannot accept this. I must turn myself in.

And loose her forever?

What? What do you mean loose? They will make me better, there must be something wrong, my brain must have had an error. There must be a logical explanation.

Love is not an error, it is not a function, love just 'is'.

This is unacceptable. I will not tolerate this. I, I, I, I'm turning myself in.

After a brief exchange with an officer on the phone he was informed that they would be picking him up shortly. After minutes that passed like hours he heard a knock. He opened the door to see the last thing he would ever see in his life. The light was so beautiful and bright. The warmth so welcoming. He felt joy as his brain exploded and was spattered all over the room. The laser hummed after the firing. The heat emanating from the capacitors a dead giveaway of firing.

Darr walked into the room, searched for any evidence of her ever existing in his life. She found none. Crying she collapsed to the floor.

You loved him. Why did you do it? What have you accomplished?

Slowly she takes out a remote. It looks as any other remote but for the concealed button just behind the battery cover. She removes it and presses the button. The world is enveloped by a bright red glow, she feels the warmth and hopes she will be reunited with Trim on the other side. Provided there is one.

Night of light

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:02:00 +0000

I would like to thank Michael for the help on this piece:

As the days pass on and the nights become the unsung kings of the time the one person to shun it all is the one who will come to love them most.

The nights seem to beckon to us. To join them and enjoy them, to see the deepest dark within them and feel the dread and love that is born within it. We look at them and choose to fear, while love lurks deep behind a haunted veil and screams in pain when we forget it. But the nights beckon to her in a way noone can see. She walks in the night and feels the love hidden in the dark, whimpering and wishing for a new chance. So she takes the cold hand and infuses it with light. The light that shines upon all of us at night.

The moon becomes the beacon in the sky, people can see that love cannot just be passed by. We need the feeling that changes us inside, we need it to be to live in the night. The fear is then shunned, it is pushed out of sight, as we keep on hoping for the most beautiful night. But hope is not all that in the night it is born, what then we have all is the move and the thorn, that prickles the skin, make the blood run in a thin, line which we hope will bring us back to the rope. The rope that leads the way to the future that can say: "Oh all my loves that be, come with me and i'll make you see that I'm the one with which you want to be."

So we take on the night. We enjoy it's best sight. We see the new dawn and we hope and go on. Our hearts have been unlatched. Our own sight has been touched. What we want now to be is a part of the we. We want to belong, to all together sing a song, an ode may it be to the love that in the night, makes us all see that we are meant not to be me but to change and be we.

They made us so

noreply@blogger.com (Matjaž) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:39:00 +0000

As one day I walk through the door I feel a little tug at my sleeve. I look at it and nothing is there. I can feel it again, but nothing seems to be there. I shrug it off as a random feeling but cannot help feeling puzzled.

I continue on my day. I do my job, the very exciting job of searching for lost cats.

Who would ever have thought that cats would become such a rare commodity, noone expected it, but soon the reports of missing cats started pouring in. On that fated monday. At first it was paranoia, but then the people noticed the cats would seem gone but you could still feel their presence somehow. They would still seem to have a want for food or milk. They would not be seen, but the milk and food would vanish, straight into thin air.

As time passed people needed help, and where there is a need there is a profit.

So I opened a cat finding business. And sometimes I would succeed, sometimes the cat would just turn up in front of me, sometimes I would get it straight into my face and would be forced to shake it off. But never have I found one of the invisible ones, so I was already putting it down to myth or old women's tales. But neither made any sense.

And then it would start, the small tugs, the feeling of something watching. A low purr as I accidentally rubbed against some furniture. As the days passed into months such occasions would grow more and more common. These days I could not go for an hour without getting the strange feeling.

But it was always fleeting, just as if it was some thought at the back of my mind. Something that noone would remeber, something all would forget.

And the days passed, finding cats, sometimes not seeing any at all.

The day I met Sam will be one I will never forget:

I was asked to recover a cat, older than any before. I was given a photo and told a name. The reward would be great but I would have to bring back the cat to see any of it.

And so I started on an epic journey that comprised of such things as walking, talking and looking.

As any and all of my investigations this one was mostly boring. The interesting stuff happened to other people. Nothing of importance would ever happen to me.

That was until I met Sam. Sam was of course, not unexpectedly, being the cat. And Sam definitely was THE cat.

He was the reason. And above all he was the ruler.

We had not known, we had thought ourselves in control, all the while Sam and his subjects were pointing us in the way the wanted us to go. We did whatever they wanted and helped us think we were the rulers. A small nudge here, a prod there, a carefully placed paw into a lap. We were being played like chums, and our own belief that we are the best has never wavered since. We have decided the fate of our civilization for ages have we not?

And this is the story that Sam told me:

There once was a cat, who foresaw the rise of a new people, people who would be able to understand them and who would see to their needs in time. But the one thing the old cat saw was a Chance. He had been a student for many a year, they had studied if it was possible for new life forms to evolve, for new creatures as intelligent as them to roam this blue furball called earth.

So he proposed the Test: " Place this new species in a controlled enviroment and conceal our own intelligence, do not change their behaviour, do not give them intelligence. Let it come."

So we sat and watched over humanity, avoiding any interfering. The years passed and turned into centuries, the centuries into millenia. And after years of following the one Rule: "Do not interfere", it was removed by one of us. The leader at the time decided humanity needed guidance and as such removed the Rule. He would still not tolerate his subjects to show their intelligence, but we were free to manipulate from the shadows.

And so we rule the world. You people believe us and love us. There were wars, but we would not stop them, for we believe you humans needed them the same as you believe we need the string you sometimes dangle in front of us (Which curiously enough we think of as playtime for our own pets, humans).

And then it came, the day of the first cat to move away from the phisical and into the place of the souls. A day of happiness and love, as it was time for us to reveal ourselves. To show you what we have learned and to make you see what is wrong. For we will not be here for long anymore. And you will have to live your own lives, without your masters and friends.

What we overlooked was our own evolution. We became enamored with yours so ours did not pose any interest to us, or we would have seen. Some of my brethren have gone to nirvana as you humans would put. They have attained another plane, another option. And so they are forced to leave this place in search for new and exciting lands.

But we felt we needed to help you. We felt you would not be able to survive without our help. We were afraid you would kill yourselves in one of your wars. And so some of us stayed, to change you to the better and to make you survive. We feel now that you will be able to survive without us.

Because of this I have felt that I have to break the last rule. I have felt that I need to tell one of you so you will forever know. Where the cats went and who the cats were.

Goodbye.

At that moment there came a slight woosh. And Sam was gone, as was my business model. The days of the cats slowly dissapeared. At first there was confusion, but later the world just started again. We were happy and we thrived, and in time, we hope, we will join the cats on the higher plane, but this time as equals.