Occasional Musings n Ramblings

Guest Post by DH - 10 Things I Love About You

2012-02-16T09:38:00.000-05:00

On my blog here, DH rarely guest posts. His first guest post was this. Now the below is his second guest post. He surprised me with this post when I came back from work yesterday. Happy Anniversary, my love!

10 things I love about you (in no particular order)…I have cheated a bit…trying to squeeze more than one point in the list…I can’t help she is so awesome!

1. I love that I can talk about anything and everything with you without any hesitation. I love how we can joke about anything and laugh about anything.

2. I love how you dance to the music like no one is watching, and love watching the innocent kid-like smile when you're dancing. You dance like a pro!

3. I love how confident you look, how you take care of yourself and always stay presentable. I know a lot of people give up after they are married for a few years and you haven’t. I see no signs of that changing; in fact, I sometimes feel that I don’t do enough myself!

4. I love the smell around your neck and the way you react when I hug you and kiss your neck when you are doing dishes. Thinking about it, I love that we have secret names and private jokes for everything that no one else but us can understand.

5. I love how you always smile when you see me coming back from work that it erases anything unpleasant or heavy on my mind. I look forward to seeing you in the evening to tell you everything that has happened in the day. My day doesn’t seem complete without sharing with you.

6. I love that you put in so much effort to make my life easier and happier; for example: you learned to cook so well in such a short time once you realized how much I love food. For the record, you beat my mom’s cooking within a few months of our marriage; you know my brothers also attest to this fact.

7. I love how you get excited when you have something to tell/teach me. I love how you make an effort put things in perspective for me and make me see things in a new light, which I would otherwise ignore. I have learnt so much (sometimes silly things) from you ;-)

8. I love how you read books to me, the soothing voice, the intonations, pauses, emphasis - everything brings the characters to life. I really look forward to listening to you read some more books, but when I am less busy :-)

9. I love that you have been honest, reliable friend - everything and more than I had ever wished for in a life partner. You fit in so well into my family and have set such a good example for everyone that they look up to you/us.

10. I love that I have 10 more things right now I can add to this list and know that I will have more after that –all the things I love about you!

One More Soldier

2012-02-15T18:00:00.000-05:00

I loved Matthew Bomer even if I wasn't a viewer of White Collar.

He is kind of guy that I would never be able to look away if I saw him in real life.

And now I am so very glad for him! I saw this article in the papers today and I knew that this is one more person who is brave enough to be themselves.

BTW - if any of you have read Marie Sexton's book One More Soldier, you will know what I am talking about :)

How I Met My DH - Part I

2012-02-15T10:14:00.001-05:00

Not sure how many of you know this, but mine and DH's was, what you call, an arranged marriage. And this is the story of how we met.

May 2005

I had just entered my home after a hard day at college (the bloody Organic compounds weren't separating!) and I saw that my dad's cousin brother R, was sitting in our living room. As soon as he saw me entering the house his face broke into, what I would call, a semi-evil grin. He turns to me and this is the conversation that follows:

R: Soooo I have come here with a purpose.

Mom : And what would that be? *smiling widely*

R : You see, my wife has a cousin who is looking for a bride for her son.

Mom : Oh! Well that is... good? I need to talk about this with her father. (My dad was at work).

R : They are an awesome family. Four boys, they have their own big house that they recently built, the grandparents live with them. So it is a big family. The boy is the eldest one, and is completely immersed in studies and has no bad habits - doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and is very polite.

Me : F-F-four boys? *eyes wide*

Mom : You said he is the eldest one? And grandparents are also living with them? How many people live in the house?

R : *grins* Eight.

Me : *blurts* Holyyyy... Um, Ok.

Mom : What does the boy do anyway? Studies? Has a job?

R : Oh, he is completing his Ph.D.

Me : *looks at mom helplessly*

Mom : *laughing hysterically* That is what she needs. Someone with a Ph.D. I know how much she hates Science! (This became one of the funniest shit for my friends later on).

R leaves soon and we end up discussing this proposal (that is what we call it in arranged marriage lingo). We came to know that the family lives at least 620 miles away, in another state. My family and I quickly dismissed them, as we knew that the groom's family get pretty picky and after all, why would they make such a long trip when they haven't even seen me?

June 2005

I have graduated from my college and come home after a late shift at work, tired and rubbing my eyes. Mom and dad seem excited and wary at the same time. Apparently, they had a phone call from my cousin R saying that the groom's family wants to meet me. They will be arriving with in the week and staying with R. The people who will be coming down will be the guy himself and his mom and dad.

All I remember is muttering an "OK" and then crashing down for a much needed sleep.

July 1st, 2005

I was woken up by my mom after another late shift. I think I had only two hours sleep.

Mom : They will be here in less than an hour! You have to get ready! Wear this saree and this jewelry! Wash your face. You still look as if you are sleeping!

Dad : Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something first?

Me : *still bleary-eyed* Huh? Okay. I will eat first and then get dressed.

I had just finished my breakfast in the kitchen when I heard the door bell ring. Butterflies! Suddenly there were so many butterflies in my stomach that I felt a bit nauseous. My 17 year old sister comes running in to the kitchen and the first thing she blurts out is

Sis : Omg! He has no hair!

Me : What???! He is bald? The guy is bald?

Sis : What? No! His dad is bald. The guy has hair.

I was *this* close to smacking her up on her head!

Whoever has seen a Bollywood movie would know what I am talking about next - I bring them tea and some snacks and quietly sit on the couch opposite to the chairs where this guy and his parents, along with R, are sitting.

My face is burning. I was always a very upfront and in-your-face kind of a person but now that I had to play this meek, traditional, shy would-be-bride, I was burning with embarrassment and shyness. I sneak a glance at the group in front of me and see this guy's mom staring at me with a smile on her face. The dad is talking to my dad about where they are from and the common relatives etc.

Soon they finish eating and the talk is approaching the awkward silence phase. The guy turns to my mom and says that the snack that was prepared was very good. I guess R took it as a cue and asks the guy if he wants to talk to "the girl". He looks straight into my eyes and smiles and hitches his chin as if to ask "Would you want to?"

I had no idea what to talk to this guy. I knew he was five years older than me and I have no idea about his tastes about anything - food, clothes, movies, friends... nothing! I shrug and say that it is ok if we don't talk.

R looks at me and then again looks at the guy and repeats the question if we would like to have a chat. But this time I look at the guy and smile. He smiles back widely and says "Sure!"

We walk out to a bit private area and stand in front of each other. He smiles at me and the first question he asks me, "Are you nervous?"

My reply, "Nope! Coz I don't know what to expect!"

We both laugh at that and I feel as if may be, just may be, I can talk easily to him?

What is love...??

2012-02-14T10:09:00.002-05:00

Hmmm... I am in a mood for the Haddaway song, I guess :)

I wish you all a Very Happy Valentine's Day with your loved ones.

I hope/pray and wish that all of you people who are waiting for their significant other, will find one soon.

If you don't, then please do remember that you are special anyway. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise (and pssst - Valentine's Day is just a commercialized holiday anyway! LOL!)

DH and I aren't going all out for Valentine's Day as in just two days we are having our Wedding Anniversary :-D

Do keep an eye out for the post that follows!

Enjoy your day with each other and give each other some sweet lovin'! :-D

Book Review - Sticks & Stones (Cut & Run #2) by Abigail Roux , Madeleine Urban

2012-02-13T22:34:00.001-05:00

Summary:
Six months after nearly losing their lives to a serial killer in New York City, FBI Special Agents Ty Grady and Zane Garrett are suffering through something almost as frightening: the monotony of desk duty. When they're ordered to take a vacation for the good of everyone's sanity, Ty bites the bullet and takes Zane home with him to West Virginia, hoping the peace and quiet of the mountains will give them the chance to explore the explosive attraction they've so far been unable to reconcile with their professional partnership.
Ty and Zane, along with Ty's father and brother, head up into the Appalachian mountains for a nice, relaxing hike deep into the woods... where no one will hear them scream. They find themselves facing danger from all directions: unpredictable weather, the unrelenting mountains, wild animals, fellow hikers with nothing to lose, and the most terrifying challenge of all. Each other.

Opinion:
This is the book two of the Ty and Zane series. I have reviewed the first one here. *sigh* I am falling in love with these flawed, irritating but, nevertheless, lovable characters.

This book was as amazing as the first one. While the first one was based mostly around the murders and crime, this book was based around Ty's and Zane's relationship. When I say "relationship" it is not an out and out dating scene. They are still being our much-loved but stupid, jackasses who won't accept the simple truth that it is not just "comfort" that they feel when they are with each other. The dynamics of Ty's family was very interesting to observe. I loved his brother, Deuce and I felt that his presence was the reason that pushed Ty and Zane to think about each other rather than dance around the attraction and go on without labeling anything. The family was hilarious! Keep an eye out for Chester and his spade! :-D Now that I have a taste of Ty's family, I am curious about Zane's family - although I am not sure if that would be such a pleasant read.

Apart from the evolving inter-personal relationship between our Agents, there was also a good plot of treasure hunters which just cemented the bonds and gave more room for the characters to change and grow. Each of the reactions of the characters - Ty, Zane, Ty's dad - Earl and Ty's brother - Deuce - was very believable. The build-up to the final scene and Ty's the realization was a bit slow but done deliciously. But at times it felt that there were bit too many words. Again, no complaints - I like to draw out my oh-so-tasty torture a bit more. :-D But I have to say that I was surprised that Ty was the one to have the realization before Zane. I would have thought that it would have been Zane!

I am already on the third book of this series - Fish and Chips and I am loving it!

I give this book 4 - 4.5 stars.

Equality in Ogling - Part 2

2012-02-11T12:22:00.000-05:00

Last month I had written a post about how in our marriage, DH and I have equality in ogling (you can find the post here).

Another instance of ogling equality that started from the day of Superbowl.

While I am ogling at... this... happy trail,

DH is ogling at this ad that was broadcasted during the Superbowl.

Imagine what the ad does to him -
a) he LOVES women with substantial eyebrows (they shouldn't be plucked within an inch of their life),
b) he LOVES Italian women (he was in Italy for a month, before we were married, and he still dreams of going there. A LOT of it has to do with the beauties there)
c) this is an ad for a car!
d) and I am betting that after this ad, he is liking "foamy" coffee more than usual! LOL!

I think I can see a bit of drool on the corner of his lips... *grin*

Fallen more in love...

2012-02-09T19:31:00.002-05:00

Nope... this post is not about DH. He knows about my love about him though.

I have been drooling after him since I laid my eyes first on him - I was fifteen years old.

My cupboard/ closet at parents' house still has his poster (although now it is faded and yellowing).

I loved him more after I found out that he came out. While my friends were (and are) asking why am I still interested and "in love" with him after I found out he was gay, my heart was breaking that all these years he was denying what he truly felt because of media.

After a LONG time I saw him on screen and, if it is possible, I have fallen more in love with him...

Indeed... "Girl, look at that body!"

And in a related and unrelated news... my shipment of the bracelets from HRC came in the mail today!

These are what I bought. :)

Book Review - Remastering Jerna by Ann Somerville

2012-02-06T10:19:00.000-05:00

Summary:
In a world not unlike our own, Jerna Setiq has a perfect life, a beloved wife and two adored children, with his past desires and needs firmly put behind him. But when he's falsely accused of child abuse and imprisoned, he's cast into hell, with no apparent means of redemption, or regaining all that he's lost. In the most unlikely of places, in the most unpromising of circumstances, fate offers Jerna his second chance and a path to freedom. With the cruelly fascinating Tolomi, a dominant in need of education and a patient submissive, Jerna dares to satisfy the long denied passions of his dual nature - but will he risk losing what has become so dear to him, all over again? Remastering Jerna is a complex, erotic story of redemption, love, and the contract of trust in a relationship of control and submission.

Opinion:
You know how there are some things around you, that no matter which direction you turn, they are RIGHT THERE staring at you. This was one such book for me. No matter which author’s folder I opened I used to end up staring that this book. Finally I decided to bow to the higher powers’ pressure and picked this up to read. Wow! This story just blew my mind away. I read this story in one sitting and in 3-4 hours – SuperBowl be damned! I am not usually the kind of person who would read something very heavy and sad unless I know for sure that there is happy ending in there. But this time I dared without knowing the ending. I couldn’t be any happier!

Ann Somerville has done such a beautiful job sketching the entire world of Jerna and the surrounding characters. Jerna was a wonderfully fresh character – you get irritated and exasperated that he is hell-bent on being so moral about everything even when it is his life at stake. I am not very happy about this – one of the reasons why is because Hindu Mythology is filled with characters who sell their wife or sacrifice their son or give up their brothers just because it was supposed to be right. I am not sure how I feel about that. But you do develop a grudging admiration about the fearless way in which he goes.

It was very intense and during the first half of the book it seems that there is no justice in the world, there is no reprieve for our hero. But slowly that changes. The prison scenes are heart wrenching. They also serve as a very good reminder of why Jerna has to do what he does further in the book. Even though this story is supposed to be set in a parallel world, almost everything is same as our world and it found me nodding vigorously about some customs and the nature of the people. The second protagonist doesn’t make an appearance until halfway through the book and flips Jerna’s world upside down.

I find the world of BDSM, D/S culture and Master/Slave culture very intriguing so it was a wonderful way to observe more explanation about this when Jerna teaches the second protagonist, Tolomi, what he is doing wrong as a Master. It was an interesting concept that a slave was teaching a Dom or a Master about why the rituals are in place and how they are supposed to bring the participants closer.

Tolomi was a beautiful character even though he fumbles at first. I loved his desperation on seeing he is not getting his enjoyment in dominating (even though he knows he likes that), his willingness to learn and his humility when a slave wants to teach him the right way. I shed a tear when, again, Jerna bows down to his duty (and the other half of his heart – his wife) rather than his love for Tolomi. My heart broke for the pair (doesn’t it suck when you know what the characters are doing are right but you anyway don’t want them to do it? Go marry the guy you love even if your childhood friend needs you!). Tyrme was another amazing character. I think she would be considered an ideal wife – supportive of her husband but questions him when she thinks he is leaning towards duty more than his family. I won’t reveal the ending but I was so very glad that she was in Jerna’s life.

Cover opinion: The cover is so very haunting and relevant.

I give this book 5 stars.

Book Review - Goldilocks and His Three Bears by A.M. Riley

2012-02-05T16:59:00.001-05:00

Summary:
Brian is young and he knows exactly what he wants. He likes his men big and hairy. Daddy complex and craving was filling his days until he met his dream bear. Plus the dream bear's two room mates.

Opinion:
This was a fun book. Short but fun so the review would also be short and sweet. I loved the characters of the bears - Paul, Jim and Scott. Funnily, for me the main character, Brian fell a *wee* bit flat.

It was a hilarious scene when all the three guys realize that they are sleeping with the same guy - Brian. I thought it was going to be a very light breezy read with Brian's character being so very fickle and impish (well, that is how I saw him). But surprisingly, the author introduced a new twist to the other two couple - Jim and Scott. I was impressed how the plot twist was serious enough but didn't take away from the story. In fact, it made it more strong. I was pretty sure that the menage of m/m/m/m was going to be a... ahem... cluster-fuck with all of them having widely different personalities. Plus it felt weird that even though Jim and Scott were in with Paul and Brian, they felt as if they didn't fit in.

But I have a feeling that we are going to see more of gelling of the four of them in the next book in the series - A Man, A Jersey, And A Tight End. I can't wait to read more to see if the four of them end up together or it the pairing always going to be Paul-Brian and Jim-Scott.

It was fun! I give this book 3.5 stars.

If I were a boy...

2012-02-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

I am lucky. So is my sister.

Why?

Because my parents were at peace with us being girls.

But still Indian families pray for a male child. They still perform rites so that a son is born in the family. All the families, at least once, say - "We wouldn't have this problem if we didn't have girls".

I have relatives who kept mocking their own sister when she gave birth to a girl child - never mind that the child was the first female in the entire family. The relative? He had two girls.

It is very common in India to wish for a male child for numerous reasons. First and foremost is the issue of marriage. The second issue is the responsibility of keeping the girls "in control" so that they remain "pure" till their marriage *eye roll*.

I still come across such bigotry and it pisses me and my sister off to no end. I and my sister grew up listening to casual comments like, "Poor Mr and Mrs. X they wanted a boy this time and they again had a girl child!"thrown without a thought. This comment was accompanied by a shake of head. It didn't make us feel inferior or small. Instead it made us angry and incensed. How dare they say this?!

But I have seen some positive changes in the existing situations. Couple of years ago, my mom's friend was looking for a bride for her son (this was the lady who had a son almost at the same time my mom had me). She was telling my mom that her son is being rejected by the girls now. Because now, the girls say "the guy is less educated than I am. I am not comfortable" or "he isn't earning as much as I am" or "he is shorter than I am". She was shocked that her son wasn't treated like a God's gift to the woman kind. Can you believe it? The nerve of the girls! *sarcastic snort*

One of the faculty who works with me (he is a PhD AND and MD too, mind you) he has two daughters and he informed me that his wife is pregnant again. I congratulated him and he said "Thank you! I hope this time it is a boy." My jaw dropped, I collected myself quickly and asked him pleasantly why does he want a boy. His reply - "Because it is time we had a boy." I thought to myself - "Oh you prick! I know you are going to have a girl. Just because you wanted a boy!" He had another girl.

I have a school friend who I talk to. I knew she was an pompous idiot as I practically grew up with her. But I didn't know she was a discriminating bigot too. This is what happened over a chat couple of weeks ago::

P - So any "good news"?

Me - HA! You are sounding like some auntie, always asking if there is some "good news". (Note that she started asking this to me only after she had her first child).

P - So you said you are undergoing some sort of treatment. Is that IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination)? Do you know how IUI works?

Me - No. Sorry I am not undergoing IUI. I don't really know what it entails. I think you can check with a doctor. They would be able to help you better. But I don't understand why you want IUI! You have conceived your first kid naturally, the second shouldn't be that hard :)

P - Oh you don't understand! The first one was a girl. Now I want a boy and I want to make sure that it is a boy. I've heard that the women who have IUI have high chances of having a boy. Plus the way to conceive is sooooo hard!

Me - Uhhhh... you mean you get bored of... trying to conceive? (By this time I was so pissed off that I could barely type)

P - Oh yeah. All that wait. So you don't know about IUI, right. Okay then I will ask a doctor.

Me - Yeah. Ok. Bye. I have to leave now.

I showed this conversation to my sister and she told me "never talk to that idiot female again" (I am quoting her).

I don't know how she can say this with her being a girl!? If the future of girl child rests on people like her then I am pretty sure they are doomed.

In the spirit of SuperBowl...

2012-02-04T21:19:00.000-05:00

Welker hotness :-D

GO PATS!

*sigh*

Book Review - Thirty Days by Shayla Kersten

2012-02-02T21:54:00.002-05:00

Summary:
Biton Savakis, a 42 year old wealthy lawyer in New York City, is lost without his beloved slave of ten years. Since Erik’s death from cancer three months before, the will to continue his life as a Dom slipped away. Until now. The forlorn looking redhead seems as lost as Biton feels. Maybe the young man can help ease his tension, even if only for a little while.
Cavan never chose the life of a slave, but he doesn’t clearly remember a time when he wasn’t one. Beaten close to death and thrown aside by his former Master, Cavan doesn’t know how to do anything else. When Biton offers him a temporary contract, Cavan doesn’t understand the meaning of his new Master’s words. All he knows is he has a new home and someone to serve. But what will happen to him when the contract ends... In thirty days...

Opinion:
This book was a spur of the moment decision by me. I had downloaded this because I was getting confused with the choices I had out there. I can count on this book being one of the good kind of surprises. The moment Biton Savakis is introduced I felt the pain that he was going through losing his slave who was more a partner than a sub.
Cavan's character was well drawn. The horrors that he endured on the hands of his previous Master made it clear that he was scarred mentally as well as physically. It was very touching to see how broken he was and how much work Biton had to undertake to even make Cavan remotely confident. He has never seen or heard of kindness, he doesn't know what to do if not serve his Master.
There was angst (just the right amount that I like) and there was lot of moments of tenderness (also the right amount without being very cheesy). It felt just right how both of them learn to adjust with each other and learn about each other. There were sometimes in the book when I just wanted to jump in and tell Cavan to tell Biton how he really feels (Gosh! Don't I sound like a therapist! LOL!).

The biggest question in this book was - Would you really know if you wanted to do a certain thing or would you just want it because you were conditioned/ trained for it? Cavan was trained to serve - sexually and physically. So when he really wanted to be with Biton and found peace when Biton made love to him, would it be considered an aspect of his conditioning that he accepts this? Or does this mean that given a choice he would anyway want this.
I was shaken up when Cavan's therapist kept insisting that it was unhealthy to have the Dom/Sub relationship - as a reader you know that it is ridiculous. You want Biton and Cavan to end up with each other and you can SEE that Cavan feels safe with Biton. But when I tried to see from a perspective of an individual who doesn't understand the abuse, let alone the D/S lifestyle, I realized that the therapist was a VERY wrong choice.

I read the part two of this book - Forever and still my opinion hasn't changed. I liked this book. A lot. Can't exactly put my finger on what made me like it so much though.

Cover Opinion - Me Likey! You can easily see who is who by the stance of the Master and the Slave.

I give this book 4.5 stars.

Some news and a wonderful video

2012-02-02T10:59:00.005-05:00

Remember this post?
Yes, the very one where I pitied myself and worried and said countless "what-ifs".

Something happened about that.

On Monday, January 30th I was interviewed by the Director of the group.

On Tuesday, January 31th I was offered the job!! I couldn't believe it was all done so quickly! My new job starts on the first Monday of March which is the 5th of March.

It still hasn't sunk in yet that I will finally have one office, a pretty damn good raise and an awesome manager to work with.

DH still catches me grinning like a loon sometimes. :-D

I emailed everyone at my current job that I am moving to my new position at the end of Feb. The reactions are very luke warm to downright scary.

My Manager was awesome about this. He was a bit disappointed but realized that I would be a fool not to take up this opportunity.

One of the Professors was cool about it and acknowledged that "you gotta do what you gotta do" for the rise in the career.

The other (scary one) hasn't spoken a peep about it. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Couple of people wrote the token email of "Oh, you will be missed". I am cool with that. :-)

Then there were my colleagues who made the same jump and some who worked very closely with me in my current job - they are THRILLED about this. We are already planning on a celebration.

I am also meeting with my administrative supervisor who has arranged a meeting with two of my managers to see what changes need to be made for my current position so that it can be filled easily.

I am EXCITED!!

By the way, the state of Washington is scheduled to pass the Marriage Equality bill today!

I borrowed the below video from the wonderful guys over at 2 Boys in Love. Please head over to their blog (link here) to read more about the below video.

Book Review - Force of Law by Jez Morrow

2012-01-31T11:45:00.002-05:00

Summary:
When a Lamborghini Diablo car pulls into the quick oil change shop on Cleveland’s west side, Tom Russell work immediately assumes this is his old lover, Wells, a beautiful, wealthy, east side snob, come back to torment him.
But it’s worse. The driver is Wells’ arrogant, obscenely rich cousin Law Castille, who invites Tom on a little subtle revenge, accompanying Law as his guest to Wells’ wedding. But dance with the devil, and there's hell to pay. Tom thinks Law is toying with him, but Law’s visit to the poor side of a rustbelt town was never about revenge. It was never about cousin Wells at all. Law has come for Tom.

Opinion:

First of all, the beginning of the book was a bit unusual and interesting. Our protagonist, Tom makes no secret of the fact that he hates his ex. But he hates the cousin of his ex equally - after all Law had tried to break them up. But when Law asks him to be his date for Wells (Tom's ex) wedding he is suspicious.

I liked Tom. I really did! He was funny but very well aware that he was a gay guy living in the midwest where he had to hide in the closet from his working class colleagues. Tom's anger had a very real feel to it. Who can blame him? He was dumped without even a good-bye!

Law is larger than life. But we can see only that side of Law that Tom can see. Nothing more, nothing less and I think because of this we have a bit of skewed perception of him. His reasons are explained later but till then I was on the fence about him. The first sex scene between Law and Tom left me a bit queasy. Tom was literally shaking with fear about this "bull-like" guy, about how Law might force him and how he might 'fuck' the gay guy as a payment for giving Tom the chance to thumb his nose at his ex. As I read the scene I went from "Oh hell no!" to "Oh my God! I can't believe he is so sweet!". I was amazed at the change in the pace of the scene and the gradual change in the characters.

This is one of the books where you can see the change in the characters or the real facet of the feeling of the MCs when in the act of making love. By the end of the book I was pleasantly surprised at the change in the behavior of the MCs and even my reaction to it. One thing I wanted to point out was that even though Law feels like larger-than-life and could do no wrong he doesn't come across like the heroes of Mary Calmes novels. Both of their "awesomeness" is very much different. Law gives the vibe of a complete over-confident asshole who knows he will get what he wants whereas Mary Calmes' heros have this picture perfect reactions and are loved by everyone. The fun part is I liked Law by the end of the book - and I hate cocky arrogant heroes.

I would give this book 3.5 to 4 stars.

I am Matthew McConaughey

2012-01-30T16:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday DH announced that I am Matthew McConaughey and I countered that he has a conservative British sensibility.

This discussion started when I wanted to buy some of the bracelet for the causes that I believe in.

Me :: Oh damn, the total comes up to 6 bucks but the shipping is 8 dollars! If 100% of the donation goes to something you stand up for, do you think you would think about shipping cost?

DH :: Nope. What are you buying?

Me :: Couple of bracelets.

DH :: *peers into my computer* So you want to wear your opinion on sleeve?

Me :: Yep! You know me!

DH :: I really appreciate you doing this. But - and don't take this wrongly - I associate the bracelet with the beach-bum and surfer boy looks. Those bracelets scream "Matthew McConaughey"!!

Me :: Ah! I am not offended. Not in the least. Actually I am a hippie at heart. So, I am actually pleased!

DH :: No you are not a hippie at heart. You are pretty conservative.

Me :: Hmmm.... So I was thinking wearing black stockings with my skirt tomorrow.

DH :: NO!! You should wear sheer ones.

Me :: Why? Why only sheer?

DH :: Because, sheer translates into "formal". Black won't convey the same effect.

Me :: Ah-HA! So you are a stuffy conservative British in disguise! *faking horrible British accent* So would like to have some tea and crumpets?

DH :: *rolls eyes* I still think you will look like Matthew McConaughey wearing those.

Me :: You're just saying that coz you want me to whip off my shirt like him, don't you?!

*crazy laughter follows*

I have a new crush...

2012-01-29T21:04:00.001-05:00

Today I went to movies with DH.

The one that I wanted to watch really badly since a month.

Misson Impossible 4. Yes, now you may laugh. I love action movies, I love espionage and I love thrillers. When there are hot men involved in that - it makes it SO VERY MUCH better!

Case in point? See below: Jeremy Renner

Holy shit! This man is SO hot! Tom Cruise who??

In the movie there was a party scene which was in Mumbai (*eye roll* People!! If you want to get the "Bollywood Dance" right, then hire a dance director FROM Bollywood - that shit wasn't how we dance!).

In that party scene, Jeremy wears a formal suit... I think I was drooling a bit by the end of the scene.

I tried to find that particular still but was unsuccessful. But one day... one day, folks, I WILL find it!

I am a feature - part 2

2012-01-27T17:30:00.000-05:00

I am a human and I make mistakes and sometimes I space out too...

I can't believe that I forgot that I was featured in another blog. This post was by Matt and Brad from the blog 2 Boys in Love.

The link to their own post about ten things what Brad loves about Matt is here.

Wonderfully written by the sweetest people I know on the blog land. Do read the blog to see the beautiful writings - and when I say beautiful, it IS beautiful and honest and heart-warming/ touching.

They are one of the few people that I have seen who have such powerful writing and wonderful way with words.

So forgive me Matt and Brad for not mentioning this on my blog.

Better late than never, eh?

How awesome is my Boss!?

2012-01-27T09:23:00.000-05:00

You have read about me complaining about a HUGE grant that we just put through. To put it lightly, it was an exhausting business!

There were 20 faculty involved.

The grant, when downloaded was a measly 16 pages. After we were done with it, it was 122 pages long.

We had to go back 10 years to find the people who were employed under the 20 faculty.

We had to go and look who all were citizens and Green Card holders.

Oh my lord! I was *this* close to pouting and stomping my feet in frustration.

This Wednesday, we submitted it and for half a day I didn't know what to do with my free time. LOL!

Today, Friday, I am in a different campus office and look what my boss gifted me!! I used to joke that I will pop champagne when this is all done. On this gift he had written ::

It's time to celebrate a job well done!

I love my job! :-D

Book Review - Cut & Run by Abigail Roux and Madeleine Urban

2012-01-26T21:32:00.001-05:00

Summary:
A series of murders in New York City has stymied the police and FBI alike, and they suspect the culprit is a single killer sending an indecipherable message. But when the two federal agents assigned to the investigation are taken out, the FBI takes a more personal interest in the case.
Special Agent Ty Grady is pulled out of undercover work after his case blows up in his face. He's cocky, abrasive, and indisputably the best at what he does. But when he's paired with Special Agent Zane Garrett, it's hate at first sight. Garrett is the perfect image of an agent: serious, sober, and focused, which makes their partnership a classic cliché: total opposites, good cop-bad cop, the odd couple. They both know immediately that their partnership will pose more of an obstacle than the lack of evidence left by the murderer. Practically before their special assignment starts, the murderer strikes again – this time at them. Now on the run, trying to track down a man who has focused on killing his pursuers, Grady and Garrett will have to figure out how to work together before they become two more notches in the murderer's knife.

Opinion:
This was a re-read for me. I wanted to clear my head and not read it with starry eyes about two macho guys hunting down a killer and doing the horizontal tango. :)

This book has two of the most loved genre for me - M/M action and a thriller. Hmm... mmm... mmmmm! I love the team of these authors - Abigail Roux and Madeline Urban I had read many of their books (and reviewed one of them here). This too didn't disappoint me.

The MCs are macho guys. When I mean "macho" doesn't necessarily mean the way they look - yes, they both are above six feet. But other than that they also have this attitude of "rub some dirt on it" or "grin and bear it" or "what doesn't kill you makes your stronger"... you get my drift? So they obviously have to work on their attraction towards each other. Ty is bi and he knows it but there isn't much explanation on Zane's attraction. He might have been bi or this might be a "gay-for-you" kind of case. In either case it was done nicely.

Some readers felt that they had flaunted so many rules of the FBI that it was unbelievable, they also felt that even after getting horribly injured, Ty and Zane ended up fighting, running, lifting and pushing stuff as if nothing had happened. This had irked some reviewers. I didn't think it was hard to believe. The plot line was logical, the chemistry was wonderfully spicy (it kept me on my toes). I gathered that since Ty was a Marine (Recon) and Zane was a stubborn SOB it shouldn't be such a difficult feat for them to have a bit more pain tolerance than us - mere mortals :-D

Even though I like gooey, mushy romance, it was refreshing to see two hard nosed stubborn guys developing feelings for each other and trying to make sense of how to behave around each other while solving the case. Coming to the issue of the suspense - I don't think it was a hard job to guess who the killer was. If I had to point out a flaw then that would be it. Because I had read way too many thrillers and mysteries, it was a bit too easy to zero in on the suspect. The first time I had read this it was a bit of a surprise but during my second reading, I couldn't believe how easy it was to spot the clues!

I loved this book and would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys thrillers (and hot guys *grin*).

Cover Opinion - Not much to say there.

I give this book 4 - 4.5 stars.

I am a feature!

2012-01-26T12:04:00.003-05:00

This post is a bit late but I needed to finish the assignment that I was working on before I got sucked into my blog and reading :)

Two months, ~20 people and 120 pages worth of grant isn't all that fun, people!

Anyway - I am featured on a lovely blogger friend's site - That's What She Said by Kathy. She is one step ahead of me in all things Harry Potter!

You can check out the Five Things You Should Know About Me and see me in my glory of randomness.

Cheers, guys!

Book Review - Angel and The Assassin by Fyn Alexander

2012-01-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Summary:
Kael Saunders loves to dominate handsome, masculine men like himself. Being in charge is his way of life whether it be in his work with the Secret Intelligence service, his personal life, or in the dungeon. The last thing he expects when he is out on a hit is to fall in love with Angel, an eighteen-year-old boy desperate for the love and guidance of a Daddy. Yet Angel also has a passion for being spanked and restrained. Two very different men find love in a world of skilled assassins, Bosnian terrorists, and dungeon play.

Opinion:
I finally managed to get to this book after having put this in my TBR pile for more than couple of months.
This story was a mixed bag for me. Kael was a macho man, a hit man for MI6, in fact. After killing one of the targets, in a totally out of character move that surprises himself takes Angel, the son of the target, under his wings.
   What I liked in this book was the very human nature of both of the MCs. Kael was a hit man - yes it was legal, but still a hit man. He wouldn't think twice about blackmailing a friend to serve his purpose. He has a dark side of nature - not your regular hero sort of dark nature where he kills only the bad guy, leaves the unarmed because he can't fight - no. His dark side might rattle some readers. He has openly acknowledged that he has killed ruthlessly, raped people. Even after all this you can see that he has a good side to him when Angel enters his life. Kael himself is surprised when he notices his actions and feeling change towards the boy.
   Angel isn't an average teenage boy. He is, in fact, a overgrown kid starved for love. When he meets Kael in the VERY unusual circumstances he latches on to him, hoping he will be Angel's "daddy". You do feel sad for the the way he is starved for affection and how he is trying his very best to be his Daddy's boy. But we can also see the rebel in him come out at the very inappropriate time. He doesn't become the perfect slave in a day or overnight. It takes a very trying and patient Kael to train the boy.
   The reactions and the outbursts seemed natural and would have been anyone's reaction if put in the same position. I was a bit apprehensive in the first couple of pages of whether I would like reading this book. But I got over it as soon as Angel came in to picture. Some might get turned off by Kael's deeds and nature and I wouldn't blame them because the characters have heaps of flaw and for me that is what made it a bit more realistic. The side characters were also very intriguing - Stephen, Freddie, Kael's mom and even the maid.

Cover Opinion - I liked it! Although Kael is supposed to be bald, he is supposed to have the bluest eyes. But the guy on the cover looks like he has a middle eastern descent. Doesn't matter much - just pointing out something that I felt.

I give this book 4 stars.

Book Review - The Other Man by DJ Manly

2012-01-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

Summary:
Kendal is an ordinary guy in his mid thirties. All he thought he'd ever want was an ordinary life. He had that with Charlie, his live-in lover of seven years. Then suddenly Charlie announces that he's leaving Kendal for a "fantasy man". At first, Kendal is distraught that Charlie would throw away seven years on a twink; then, he gets angry. He decides to track down the guy who stole his Charlie and give him a piece of his mind. Aaron Radcliff is "the other man", but not in the way Kendal expects. A hunky fireman who can have any man he chooses, is about to surprise the hell out of Kendal.

Opinion:
This is a fun and short story (around 108 pages). But other than being fun, if you look a bit deeper you would find some significant messages.

  Kendall is a truly your average joe. He is in his mid thirties, is a bit pudgy and is in a very comfortable and rather vanilla relationship. But when his boyfriend of seven years, Charlie, leaves him for a "fantasy man", Kendall is in for a a rude shock of reality. He marches down to the club where his, now ex, boyfriend and his supposedly "twink", Aaron, spend their time.

  Aaron is nothing like Kendall imagined. He is not a twink, oh no mister! He is a fireman - a gorgeous, superhot (no pun intended) fireman. But the funny thing is, he denies meeting this Charlie of Kendall. Finally Kendall realizes that Aaron is telling the truth that he has never even met Charlie. Aaron was jus that - Charlie's fantasy man and the best part is - Charlie's fantasy man actually likes Kendall.

     I loved that there are two friends who play the devil's advocate in telling Kendall that a hunky, handsome guy like Aaron might never like a simple and plain guy like Kendall. Isn't that what generally world tells us? Don't we sometimes feel what people are saying might be true and that we indeed, might not be capable of doing what we want to do? Don't sometimes we feel that if this feels too good to be true it might be too good to be true? Don't we start doubting ourselves when someone expresses concern if something might be a bit difficult for us? I liked that these two friends become the voices of the self-doubt for Kendall.

Being with Charlie is not as exciting as being with Aaron; still Kendall is willing to give up Aaron. Why? Just because he is "used" to Charlie - comfortable with the routine with him. Kendall is scared to take chance with Aaron because of the uncertainty that he represents from his current life. Weren't some of us in the same situation? Aren't we scared of taking the chances just because we are way too comfortable with the way things are going on? Only a swift kick in the butt or a rapidly changing situation (which is out of our hands) would make think of taking the risky step!

This book made me think of the ways that people would find excuses not to take risks. Well, not all of the book is so very metaphorical. The sex scenes are so very hot and sweet too! :-D

Wonderful story and very nicely written too! I give this book 4 stars.

Book Review - The Assignment by Evangeline Anderson

2012-01-21T15:59:00.001-05:00

Summary:
Detective Nicholas Valenti, tall, dark and stoic, has been best friends with his partner, Sean O'Brian for six years. The two men have seen each other through divorce, disaster, and danger, and saved each other's asses more times than Valenti can count. Exactly when he started seeing his blond, intense partner in another light, Valenti isn't really sure. He only knows that he wants O'Brian in a way that had nothing to do with friendship and everything to do with possession. It is a desire he will have to hide forever because O'Brian is undeniably straight.
Just as Valenti is coming to grips with his new, unacceptable feelings for his partner their police captain puts them on a new case that could blow Valenti's cover once and for all. He and O'Brian are going undercover at the country's largest and most infamous gay resort to bust a notorious drug lord and stop the shipments of poison cocaine that are flooding the gay bars all over the city. Now Valenti will have to make a choice between friendship and desire. He and O'Brian will play the roles of gay men that will push the limits of their relationship to the breaking point. Will their time at the RamJack forge a new bond between them or destroy their partnership forever?

Opinion:
This was a re-read for me even though I don't know what to make of this author. I love her books but after I finish it I always exclaim "I can't believe those two were even straight!" Once I finish reading her books I always get the "WTF!?" feeling - impossible circumstances, one hero who is matter-of-fact about man-on-man action and the other who wants to but is shit scared - are the common themes. This book is no different.

Now you might be wondering why, for the love of God, did I re-read this book? The simple reason being she writes oh-so-good stories! I loved the character of Valenti. He knew he was in love with his work-partner Sean O'Brien. He also knew that his partner loved him too - that itself was the problem. Valenti knew that his partner loved him but was not in love with him. But once they accepted this assignment, everything Valenti secretly desired to do to him could be done. Again the only problem was that Sean didn't love Valenti.

We can see the story from Valenti's perspective and never from Sean's perspective. So our guess is as good as Valenti's as to why Sean is doing what he is doing and why he is so comfortable at that! Even though they are there for an assignment, the focus is on the relationship between the two cops and the "bad guys" make appearance only when the cops need the push in the right direction. Like I said, there is angst (from Valenti's PoV) and some humor (and head scratching for us) from Sean's actions. But even then the less-than-believable storyline didn't make this any less interesting re-read for me.

You have to suspend your belief a bit when you read this author's stories (I can say that confidently after reading three of her stories) - again, it made me think more than once "I can't believe either of them thought the other was straight!" But I enjoyed it nevertheless.

I would give this story 3.5 to 4 stars (when I am reading) and once I put down the book - don't ask me to rate this it would be hell of a difficult task.

Things I am bad at but trying to be better...

2012-01-20T20:58:00.001-05:00

My family, before marriage, consisted of just my mom, dad, me and sis. My parents might look like your average parents but they had their issues. Issues, which no one in India would think were a big deal.

But for me it was. I think for my sister it was a big deal too. The only difference was, that I being the first born was exposed to those more than she was. She was always the baby and I became the sounding board, the figurative punching bag of emotions for my parents.

What I found out about my parents was interesting. Intriguing and interesting if I was a third party observer but since I wasn't, I will stick with just interesting. My dad is a kind of person who would never admit his mistakes, never express his emotions to his near ones (he will wax poetic to people who are friends and relatives but not to his kids and wife) and will hold grudges like a champ.

My mom will quickly accept her flaws but she will keep repeating them with no idea how to stop doing it. She will get pissed off at a drop of hat and will hold grudges but still my dad is the reigning champ - for example, both will develop cold front and will stop talking. But dad will go on with the silent treatment for a week or more but mom will break down in three days. Yeah.

Being a kind of person who generally gets angry, throws a fit and in the next moment calms down without a grudge, I couldn't stand this cold front. Believe me when I say - it saps out all the energy.

All this drama made me see things in different light. It made me look into myself and find out my own flaws. I knew that I will make mistakes of my own and not of my parents.

I used to get angry at the drop of the hat and would throw a fit - a major hissy fit that too. DH didn't come from such a family and in a year I managed to get that controlled. Now if I sense an angry outburst coming, I just take a deep breath and ask myself - "Is this even worth the anger?" Poof! The anger and the irritation is gone. In my opinion, very few things are worth the anger.

I had the habit of holding back on my thoughts. Yes, I talked but they were just mundane things. I never SAID things that I felt. I wanted to do that badly because I knew how damaging holding back is for a relationship. For example - if I am angry and DH would sense it and ask me about it I would just say "No. Nothing is wrong. I am fine." But now I just tell him "I can't talk right now coz I am irritated out of my mind. Give me five minutes and I will tell you". The anger might or might not have anything to do with DH. How different would it make me from my parents if I did the same thing (that I hated) to my husband?

I also suck at comforting - at least in my opinion. My parents weren't very vocal about emotions or expressive physically - I don't remember any hugs from my dad or mom. That didn't scar me or anything like that - I was cool with it. But I always felt that it would have been good if they could console me/ pacify me/ expressed their praise in any other way than grunts, a smile and couple of words (now that I think back I wonder if they were embarrassed about expressing emotions more than anything). My ground state is the same as my parents but again, I am trying to change it. I follow so many blogs where my blog-friends are going through (or went through) difficult times and when I read those blogs I get choked up with emotion. But what good is all those feeling if I can't translate that into words?

I struggle with all the thoughts swirling in my head but when I start typing I can't seem to say anything. I feel disappointed that my emotions, my feelings don't reach the other person. I feel inadequate and helpless that I am not expressing enough. I want to be better at conveying the thoughts to the other person - that it is going to be ok or that shit happens but I fear I will come across at flippant or patronizing (and we know how irritating that is!). I have seen so many people who write so beautifully that their words carry comfort and relief. I am not aiming to be that person - it is a hard goal for me to reach. But I am trying to improve myself.

Unlike me, may be one day my kid(s) will say that their mom always knew the right words to say at the right time. :-)

In Sickness and in Health

2012-01-18T22:11:00.001-05:00

A month ago we had our Departmental Holiday party and this conversation took place there. The reason I am writing about this so late is because I needed sometime to mull over this and analyze my own emotions and reactions to this story.

I was nursing a Corona with lime with some of my colleagues when I was introduced to a Southern Lady, V. She was so pretty and regal! Her accent, her mannerism and her looks intrigued me and we both got talking. She was pretty interested in talking about Indian customs and marriages too. And because I yam what I yam, we ended up talking for more than an hour.

My jaw dropped when she told me that she had a son who is my age and she was nearing 55! She was a gorgeous lady. I told her "I will consider myself lucky if I look half as good as you do when I am your age". She smiled at me and looked at me for a moment and asked me "Do you have kids?"

When I replied negatively, she started talking to me about how she thinks I would be a good mother (surprisingly many people have said that. Now only if my ovaries knew that *sigh* LOL!)

Anyway, the topic obviously turned to marriage. She was half shocked and half intrigued to learn that mine was an arranged marriage. She again smiled and asked me if I was happy. Knowing that this would be her next question, I replied truthfully, "I don't think I would have found myself a better husband. I love him."

Her reply? "Well, of course! Parents always know best!"

*snort*

I let it slide by. Didn't tell her that I was one of the bloody lucky ones.

Anyway, back to the topic.

She started talking about her marriage.

V:: This is my second marriage. My son is from my first marriage.

Me :: Oh! That is nice.

V :: You know, the guy should always be older than the girl. Their maturity rate is not the same as us.

Me :: *smiles* Yeah, my parents said the same. My husband is five years older to me.

V :: This time I did the right thing - I married the guy who is thirteen years older to me!

Me :: Oh, that isn't bad. My cousin and her husband have ten years separating them. As long as you love him, years shouldn't matter, right?

V :: *smiles* That is true! But you know what? I caught mine cheating on me. So you know I am not that big on him now.

Me :: *speechless* Oh-kay...

V :: Yeah! But at least it was he who cheated on me first. So now I have the freedom of doing what I want.

Me :: *looks confused* I-I am sorry... What...?

V :: I mean to say that since he went ahead and cheated on me, I shouldn't worry too much about it. He can't complain if I go ahead and cheat on him.

By this time I have stopped sipping my Corona and was trying not to look incredulous.

Me :: Ummm, did he... own up to cheating?

V :: Oh yeah! He owned up to it. But I don't trust him anymore. The damage has already been done. I don't think I will be able to go back to how we were. Also since he is thirteen years older to me his health is failing. So it is extra work for me now. Whatever growing up I had to do with him, I have already done that. Right now I don't see myself with him anymore. We have couple of property with joint ownership, that might be one of the reasons that might cause a bit of problem when I want to leave.

Me :: Wait. What? (I tried to make my incredulous expression look as if it was because I haven't heard her due to people around me)

V :: Yeah. I know it was good when it lasted. I am pretty close to divorcing him now, though. The cheating, the failing health... he is not the same, you know?

Me :: *taking a deep swig of my beer* Wow. Yeah. Of course.

After that conversation, I ended up talking to other people and happened to move away from my seat. But what she said to me weighed on my mind. Not on purpose, mind you. It was a party after all.

I really, REALLY don't want to judge anyone but this one case just disquieted me for some reason. Is marriage just that? A stepping stone? A tit-for-tat? Of course this is just a unique case and I might be seeing only one side of the story but it saddened me nevertheless.

I was shocked to hear her say that just because her husband is old and getting a bit sick, she is willing to leave him. What happened to "In sickness and in health"?

I was shocked to see hat she spoke more emotionally about the joint property than her husband's cheating. What happened to "In poverty and in richness"?

I was shocked to hear that for her, marriage was just a stepping stone to her personal growth (like a job) than a commitment with a person to spend the rest of life caring and sharing joys and sorrows.

I was shocked to hear her say that her husband cheating on her gave her a free pass for her to cheat.

Call me an idealist but it hurt me that marriage can deteriorate to this. This just broke my heart, saddened me and disillusioned me a little.