Of Cheerios and Conference Calls

Re-Inventing Myself

2011-01-03T16:48:00.001-05:00

Check me out now at ReInventing Momma. It's a new year and a new blog!

Life Gets In the Way

2010-08-02T21:36:00.004-04:00

So much has happened since I last posted. Quick summary of some key events:
1. Our house guest has moved out.
2. Still working on marital issues.
3. Kids driving me crazy but school starts in 3 weeks, 5 days!
4. I'm starting to take some classes myself and hope to find a job working in preschool/nursery school setting while I'm continuing my education.
5. I've lost 7 lbs. since the start of summer!
6. My brother's wedding in 5 weeks, 2 days away!
7. My husband's business is starting to pick back up!
8. We're still plagued by car troubles.
9. I've read probably about one book/week myself this summer, while still working with Bug on his reading and reading Dora books to Monkey. Hence, I started volunteering at the library. Figured I was spending so much time there picking out books, I could help out myself.
10. I'm going to re-committ myself to my blog. I need it. I've learned after reading some of the other Mommy bloggers I know that I need this outlet - even if no one is really reading it.

So in an effort to recommit to my blog - I'd like to pass along this great offer I got in my email box today. If you don't already subscribe to RedPlum, you should check it out. Here's an especially tasty offer for the month of August: http://www.redplum.com/pages/ViewArticle.aspx?articleId=3907

I'm going to try and focus on passing along some useful tidbits, offers, advice, and maybe even some product reviews along the way. So sit back now with a good book, a cold beverage (of your choice), and enjoy the last few weeks of summer!

Our House Guest

2010-04-11T13:32:00.003-04:00

Our family has been in upheaval for a couple of months now. On top of the usual problems that just happen in a marriage and my husband and I trying to find our way back to each other, we have the added stressor of a house guest. A young man that my husband has been mentoring for about 4 years (both professionally and personally) was seriously injured the day before Thanksgiving. He fell in a stairway hole and fell 26 feet to the concrete basement floor, hitting scaffolding on his way down. MJ suffered a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for about a week. That was in November. In January we opened our home up to him so that he could have some "supervision" and not have to live alone while he recouperates. MJ is still dealing with the residual effects of the head injury - mainly re-learning how to control the right side of his body. All the doctors have agreed - it's truly a miracle he survived the fall, let alone has made such great strides in his recouperation. But it is hard for him. He's 23 years old, can't drive, can't work, has to continue to take seizure medicine, has difficulty walking, can't live on his own. Each day is full of it's own trials and tribulations. It's been somewhat of a culture shock for all of us. It's a work in progress, trying to meld a young bachelor into a home with an "old" married couple and kids.

We came to a mutual decision this week. Since MJ moved in with us, he's been sharing a room with our 8 year old son, and our 2 year old daughter moved back into our room. We decided this week since we really don't know how long MJ will be with us to take one of our rooms upstairs, clean it out and utilize it for MJ. He is at the point that he can handle a flight of stairs, and would actually be good for him. We're hoping this will be a good transition for all of us. MJ will have his own space; our kids will go back to sharing a room; we can really transition our 2 year old to a bed of her own; and my husbad and I will have our own space once again - another step into us finding our way back to each other. So bring on the cleaning!

Only Time Will Tell

2010-04-09T12:37:00.004-04:00

It's been two weeks since my last post. Two counseling sessions for me and my husband. They've been two emotional weeks. But they've also been two insightful weeks. I think we're both getting something out of this, and want to continue. For me, it helps having someone to talk to. Someone totally unbiased that can provide insights into my feelings whether they are critical or supportive. Someone that can "see" our individual points of view while helping us to each understand the other. Above all she reaffirms to us that our situation is not unusual and we can be "helped". It feels almost like after 11 years of marriage we've lost our way a little bit and she's helping us try to find our way back to each other.

Our lives have been in such an upheaval for the last 6 months or so, that it feels like a little bit of the weight and stress has been taken off our shoulders by just finding someone to talk to. Yes, you say, but you have this blog and you both have friends and family. But it's different to go and just talk to someone for an hour - no judgements, no sides being taken - and get critical feedback about your situation. There have actually been a few nights that I slept without waking up and having a staring contest with my bedside clock.

We've started to make some positive changes. When we talk to each other, we aren't being as sarcastic as we have been. We're being "nicer" in our tones of voice. We're both trying to be more patient with each other. For my husband's part, he's trying to not be such a slave to his business - taking some time to really enjoy being home with me and the kids and doing things with us/them. This past Monday was actually a day off from school for our 8 yr old son and my husband ended up not having to work either. The four of us snuggled up in our bed after lunch to watch a movie and ended up all dozing off. Those are things that mean a lot to me and to the kids. It was a great day.

We decided this week to utilize a spare room we have as a guest room and have our friend move into it so that our 2 year old daughter can move out of our room. (Long story and fodder for another post.) Having our own space again is essential to trying to get our marriage back on track on so many levels. These are small steps but at least they are steps, and I am so glad we are making them together.

The big question is, Will all this work? Will we be able to find our way back to each other? Will we be able to continue on as a family? Only time will tell . . . but I think we're off to a good start.

Getting Personal

2010-03-27T19:48:00.002-04:00

When you marry someone you plan on spending the rest of your lives together. You sign up for a partnership. You’re each expected to help the other and support each other, not just financially speaking, but emotionally and morally. When you come to a decision to start a family, you think that it will be 2 of you raising the kids – feeding, bathing, reading, carpooling, and caring for them when they’re sick. For a long time now, I’ve been feeling like I’m a single parent. I do 99% of the carpooling, reading, feeding, bathing, and caring for my kids. My husband feels that since he is the sole bread winner for the family that is his contribution to our marriage, our family. That being the sole bread winner excuses him from any other responsibilities or obligations to me or our kids. Every birthday, anniversary or special occasion that goes unacknowledged is because he’s too busy with work. And it doesn’t bother him because he claims he wasn’t raised to acknowledge those special events/days in life. My birthday came and went without so much as a “Happy Birthday” being uttered. And now, his birthday is coming up and his parents fully expect me to have a dinner/birthday cake for him. He and our son’s birthdays are just a few days apart so traditionally I do get a cake for both of them. Well, guess what folks, not this year. It may sound petty and trite, but, you know what, I’m done. I spent 4 days in the hospital with our 2 year old daughter, got out 2 days before my own birthday, and I couldn’t even get a “Happy Birthday” out of him. And when I asked him about it, his defense was that I don’t spend enough attention to him and his needs so he didn’t feel like acknowledging my birthday. I got the same response when Valentine’s Day came along. I, at least, made an effort and got him a card and some nice chocolate (he LOVES chocolate), and what did I get – NADA, NOTHING, ZILCH, THE BIG GOOSE EGG. Well, I’m spending too busy taking care of the house, doing the laundry, making the meals, cleaning up the messes, driving the kids around, paying the bills, making the beds, cleaning the dishes, feeding the cat, emptying the garbage, doing the grocery shopping, trying to drum up new freelance work and taking care of the existing client I do have, helping him out with his business paperwork, driving our friend to rehab and any other doctors’ appointments or places he needs to go. This time I’m too busy to acknowledge his birthday. So for the first time in our history together I am not getting my husband a birthday cake or even a card.
Is this the beginning of the end? I don’t know. We’re both willing to try to work on our marriage and seek counseling, and we have our first session Tuesday night. I'm afraid of what's going to happen. I'm afraid because there is a small part of me just doesn't care anymore. I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out. I know I'm not perfect and I have my faults. I've tried not to be a demanding wife. But I don't think it's too much to expect for my husband and the father of my children to actually want to be part of our lives, to be an active participant. I haven't felt that way in a while. Even my 8 year old son feels this way. When my husband announced that he had to work today instead of helping me and going with me to chaperon our son's birthday party, I ask L if he was upset that daddy wasn't coming. His response was "Not really. He'd just yell anyway." That kind of says it all. When my husband does make the time to be an active participant in our lives, most of the time he's not happy about it or enjoying himself. If this was happening just once in a while, I'd understand - we all have days like that. But with my husband it happens a majority of the time.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just know that something has to change - one way or another.

I'm Back

2010-03-14T21:08:00.002-04:00

Be prepared! Has it really been a year since I last used by Blogger account. Well, I tried converting to Wordpress and I just didn't like it as much as I thought I would. So I'm back. Be prepared for some changes, including possibly a new name.

I'm Moving

2009-03-24T12:00:00.001-04:00

Today will be my last post on blogger.com. I've moved over to Wordpress so check me out there at http://ofcheeriosandconferencecalls.wordpress.com/

Seven Years Ago

2009-03-24T11:13:00.006-04:00

Seven years ago tonight at 8:12 p.m. you were born. Seven years of laughter, joy, tears and mischief. My how you've grown, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I love you, my "baby" boy. I love you with all my heart and soul. I fell in love with you before you even graced me with your presence. No matter where life may lead you, know this - I will always and forever love you. Happy Birthday, Bug!

Catching Up

2009-03-14T21:33:00.006-04:00

Has it really been this long since I've done a post? Where has the time gone? Oh well, what's done is done. I know of been busy that's for sure. Between the family, work, new job and, well, just life the days seem to be flying by. This is so evident to me every time I sit back and watch my kids. I'm amazed at how mature (most of the time) Bug is getting, and how quickly Buddha is growing. It's all happening before my eyes. Today I was reminded that a "little girl" I once knew is graduating high school in a few short months and turning 18. When the heck did that happen!
Well instead of lingering on the "where did the time go" mod of thought, I'm trying to focus on the wonder of it all. Watching my kids grow and mature. Taking on new tasks and challenges - sometimes failing (or falling as the case may be) and sometimes achieving. Watching the joy and amazement in their eyes, and sometimes drying the tears from disappointment. Hearing them laugh and giggle at each other and themselves, and, yes, even hearing them fight (at least initially) brings me joy.

This Is Why. . .

2009-02-02T08:44:00.002-05:00

This is why I call this blog "Of Cheerios and Conference Calls", a perfect example. I don't use my checkbooks much. Most bill paying and balancing I do on the internet, so I don't write out a lot of checks. Because of this my checkbook is usually in one of two places - my purse or my desk drawer. Well, this morning I was pretty frantic for about an hour. I couldn't find the house checkbook anywhere. Husband's business checkbook - check. My business checkbook - check. Line of credit checkbook - check. House checkbook - no check. I have no idea where it went. Double checked the car to see if it might have fallen out when I went to the bank last week. Not there. Tore the kitchen apart in case someone (um, Husband) took it out of my purse. Not there. Tore my desk apart in case I missed it in the first look. Not there. Went through Buddha's diaper bag - you never know. Not there. OMG - Husband is going to pitch a fit if I really lost it. Let me check one more place, my laptop bags. Not in the first one. Okay - don't panic, look in the second one. Oh, wait, what's in this outside pocket? The checkbook! Gee I wonder who put it in there. Oh, and look what else is in here - a handful of cheerios. I attempt to reprimand her for taking Mommy's checkbook. But come on, how much can you really reprimand a 17 month old especially when she keeps saying "Momma" over and over and making a kissy face to you.

Catching Up

2009-02-01T21:40:00.003-05:00

I can't seem to catch a break this year. I'm glad one month is done with and out of the way. My computer crashed. The computer that has not only all my various work related items, our household / personal information, and my husband's business proposals and contracts - crashed. What's that saying from Forrest Gump? Stupid is as stupid does. Well, stupid me, listened to my poor, poor son beg to play a new virtual game he got with a diecast car. Here's the "stupid does" part. I downloaded it onto my computer. As I was clicking away with my mouse, I knew it was a bad, bad idea. Oh, boy, I didn't know just how bad! And what was the worst part was my virus protection didn't catch it. UGGHH! So it meant a week down and about $175 out of my pocket. But the good thing was I caught it in time before the virus was able to do any real damage to my files. Thank goodness. I know it could have been much, much worse But now I'm $175 in the hole - not too bad considering I upgraded memory and got new virus protection plus labor - and a week behind not only in my work but my husband has a bunch of proposals and contracts to get done too. Well, I could look at it this way - my fingers got a week's worth of rest so I should be all set to start typing away nice and fresh tomorrow morning.

Total and Utter Frustration

2009-01-24T16:41:00.002-05:00

AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH! Okay so that makes me feel a little better. I am really sick and tired of dealing with people in general. People who don't do their job. People who say they want a job, but then when you offer them one, they have a reason for not wanting it anymore. People who complain that they don't like their job - hello but at least you have one! People who say they're going to do something and then don't. People who don't return phone calls. People who say they don't want drama in their lives, but then create mounds of it whenever they have the chance. People who yell at me for standing up and saying something is "wrong" when there really is something wrong. People who e-mail me in all capital letters. People who think they are above reproach. People who try to sell me something when I don't ask to be sold on something. People who won't leave me alone so I can work. People who think a WAH mom just sits on her ass all day, watching soaps and eating bon bons. People who believe that some of us have lives filled with rainbows and hearts just because we're not actively deployed. I'm so tired of having to justify my actions and standing up for myself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't there been people fighting and dying since the beginning of time, so that I could have the right to stand up and fight when I see a wrong being committed! Why the hell should I be made to feel guilty, ashamed for standing up for myself! To some of you this post will make total sense; for others you'll be scratching your head.

What a Week!

2009-01-10T13:47:00.002-05:00

*Warning - parts of this post are not for those with weak constitutions, aka it gets gross.*

This week started off innocently enough. Bug started back to school - not by choice - with a 90 minute delay on Monday morning. I woke up with a sinus cold, but I muddled my way through it even getting a training workout in at the gym. Tuesday morning, I woke up and the cold had made it's way down to my chest. Not so much fun for someone prone to asthma. Went through the day with minimal problems. Got the kids ready for bed. Everyone was bathed and giving hugs good night, when Budha's stomach contents exploded - all over Bug and the couch. Dad was of no help; "I think I'm going to be sick" was his exact comment. I sent him off to help Bug and have him re-shower. I cleaned up Budha's clothes, and then gave her to Dad for her re-bath. I then took to cleaning up the living room. The weird thing was what she threw up was the dinner she had from the previous night, nothing that she had eaten that evening or even from that day. So we got everyone cleaned up and in bed, and Budha's stomach exploded again. This time I had a towel handy. Dad came running with a trash can. Ok - do you really think I can get a 17 month old to stay still and puke over a trash can? Cleaned up that mess, not as big this time. Got her to cuddle with me - really not an issue for her as she was wiped out. But within a 1/2 hour she was puking again, except this time there was nothing left in her little belly except some bile. No fever. It's 10:00 at night. I opted to not take her to the emergency room. Partially because of the no fever, and I know there's been a bug going around, and partially because of the weather. The ice storm has started. With the way things are going we'd probably end up all going to the ER as the result of a car accident.
So I clean up everything again, and get her to go back to sleep. That lasts for about an hour. This is how the whole night goes. I stayed awake all night to watch her and "catch" any more puke - though there was nothing left in her stomach to puke.
Wednesday morning - no school due to ice storm. Everyone home. Budha acts as if nothing happened, though she is tired and doesn't feel like eating. She seems to be over it. By dinner I get her to eat some toast, crackers and water. Thursday - I still have the chest cold; 90 minute delay for school; I'm exhausted from no sleep the night before. Friday - I wake up in the middle of the night with stomach cramps and naseau. Stomach bug take 2 - my turn. I'm feeling so crappy that I don't even take Bug to school. Probably better - at least he's able to help me keep an eye on Budha since I spend much of the day in the bathroom. Saturday - I wake up with a killer headache and a little bit of a stomach ache but feeling much better - both the stomach and the chest cold. Husband - "I'm not feeling so well." Stomach bug take 3. . .

Kids Do the Darndest Things

2009-01-06T20:37:00.002-05:00

This would make another interesting weekly topic. This evening during dinner, I thought we had a breakthrough with Budha's eating habits. She really eats nothing other than chicken nuggets and Gerber toddler meals. But tonight I gave her a plate with some cucumbers and macaroni. I saw her eat the cucs and then every time I glanced over at the plate the macaroni was disappearing little by little. I thought "Wonderful! We have progress!!!" Uh, well, not so fast. I went to pick up her cup which fell next to her in the high chair seat. Guess what else I found? You got it. All the macaroni she "ate". Well, at least she ate the cucumbers.

You Wanted Two Kids

2009-01-06T16:30:00.004-05:00

That's the Husband says everytime I start to complain, err, I mean, tell him about the kids' day. "You wanted two kids." Thanks, Hon.
As I was sitting here today - just a few moments ago - trying to get some data entry work accomplished, I could hear Budha screeching and crying at Bug, and then Bug yelling "stop pinching me". Turns out he was sitting in her rocking chair and wouldn't get out. After a few minutes, Bug finally got his own chair and sat in it. They hugged and kissed. Now all is right with the world. . . for at least five minutes . . . maybe . . . hopefully . . . please.

Starting the New Year Off Right

2009-01-05T20:32:00.006-05:00

For those of you that don't know me that well, I try to be a regular blood donor. I've been donating for over 10 years. Now that pregnancies and nursing are behind me, I'm planning on becoming a regular - every 8 weeks - donor. I've even taken my 6 year old son with me once in a while so that he will see that it's not all that bad. His blood type is the universal donor so I would really like him to become a blood donor himself. This year I found something interesting over at http://manicmommy.blogspot.com/2008/01/manic-mommys-virtual-blog-for-blood.html. Check it out and if you haven't given blood in a while, or maybe this will be your first time - what better incentive can you have.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-24T22:01:00.003-05:00

Tuesday - News of the Weird

2008-12-23T22:22:00.004-05:00

I think I'm going to start making Tuesday's News of the Weird days. This was in one of my baby/parent center types of e-mails/blogs that I receive weekly. Let me just say it's one of those things that makes you say "Huh?" http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/2008/12/18/happy-birthday-adolph-hitler/

Santa's List

2008-12-21T13:24:00.002-05:00

A blogging/WAHM friend of mine, Nell, over at Casual Friday Everyday, posted a blog about one of her son's list to Santa. It got me thinking about my son's list to Santa. We both have the same concerns - we don't want our children disappointed Christmas morning. Bug's list to Santa this year included a quad - real, gas powered one - and a $300 RC truck kit. Even if this had been a good year financially, I don't think Santa still would have bought those items.
Every year it's the same thing - how to teach Bug that Christmas is not about the presents he gets, but rather what we can give to others and being together with family. This year I've had him actively participate with me in donating what we could to others. For instance, the grocery store does a "giving tree" for the local boys & girls club. I had him pick the child's name this year. And then there was a local family last weekend that had all their presents stolen out of their car. When Bug and I were discussing it, he said "Well, what are we going to give them?". I must admit I was trying to steer our conversation that way, but he got the idea. He thought that one was pretty cool because Mom got interviewed on the news, and Bug kept popping his head around the corner and got in a couple of shots.
This I'm sure of - Bug is definitely understanding the real meaning of Christmas. Sure - I know he'll be a bit disappointed Christmas morning, but it won't last long, and I'll remind him of the real meaning of Christmas.

New Look!

2008-12-21T11:49:00.002-05:00

What do you think of my new look? I stumbled across some free backgrounds for Blogger.

As for tagging 4 people - I'm sorry to say I don't know 4 people that consistently read my blog enough for me to tag. So I'm going to do what Tishia did, and just ask 4 people to take on the Fun Blog Picture Meme. Remember to link back to my blog so I can check out your pictures as well.

It's snowing (again!) here in Connecticut. Friday's storm gave us about 10"; today's storm is expected to give us another 6" - 9". It was snowing at 7:00 a.m. this morning when Bug woke us up. I've got to work on that - waking Mom and Dad up at 7:00 a.m. on a Sunday. It's 11:55 a.m. now and still snowing. Good thing I swung by the library and video store yesterday. I got some Christmas movies - like there aren't enough playing on TV anyway - and Momma Mia, which I didn't get out to see in the theater. And then I got some easy read books for myself - Debbie Macomber and Donna VanLierre; some sappy Christmas/holiday themed stories. I think today is going to be a doing laundry/wrapping presents/baking cookies/watching movies kind of day. Actually I think the next few days will be like that. . . time to go snow blow the driveway for the 1st time today. I think on Friday we did it 3 or 4 times.

Fun Picture

2008-12-20T22:21:00.006-05:00

Okay so here's the deal. One of my blogging friends did this on her site - Tishia - and so she asked 4 people to do the same. Since I'm pretty much game for anything - I said "pretty much"; I do have my limits - here goes.

These are the Rules:
Open the 4th picture folder on your computer.
Open the 4th picture and post it on your blog.
Explain the picture.
Tag 4 people to do the same!

Here’s My Picture that was the 4th one in the 4th album:

This is a picture of my Bug from March 2006; he was just around 4 years old. This was taken either during or right after a blizzard we had. He loved and still loves to paint, draw, create. So we pulled out the easel, which was Husband's when he was a kid, put on an old t-shirt, and Bug got to painting. I probably still have the painting somewhere in a big portfolio. I miss is cute little boy haircut; he has a cowlick that would always, always poke up. Where in for another storm tomorrow, maybe I'll pull the easle out for him in the morning?

Okay - now I have to tag 4 other people:

A Thought For Thursday

2008-12-18T22:08:00.003-05:00

Where do you find your Christmas spirit?

I've heard so many people this year - from family, friends, and on-line friends - say they're just not in the Christmas spirit. So my thought for this Thursday is "Where do you find the Christmas spirit?"

Bug came home from school earlier this week and asked me, "Mom, does Baby Jesus get two presents on Christmas?" I guess I looked at him kind of funny. He said, "You know, two presents - one for His birthday, and one for Christmas." DUH. Ding, ding, ding, We have a winner!

I know for me when I don't feel like I'm in the Christmas spirit I turn off all the specials on TV, stop wrapping presents, and just sit and listen to some traditional Christmas music - Hark the Herald Angels, Away In A Manager, What Child is This, Silent Night. For me remembering that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus, our Savior, helps me stay in / get back into the Christmas spirit. It's not about the presents under the tree, the decorations around the house, the cookies/pies/meals you've made, but the birth of one special Child.

Return of Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-17T22:30:00.005-05:00

I know it's been a while but check out this mug. . .

So Much Going On

2008-12-12T21:17:00.003-05:00

I can't believe how quickly the last few weeks have flown by. Between the chaufering, cooking, cleaning, working, cuddling, kissing boo boos, applying ice packs, driving to Indiana, visiting with family, shopping, baking, working, exercising . . . I know I've left something out, the weeks seem to fly by.

We had a wonderful trip out to the mid-West to visit my family, and a quick jaunt to Las Vegas for a belated anniversary trip - 10 years!!!! The kiddos really enjoyed spending time alone with their Poppie and Grandma too. And they were awesome on the car rides - we drove straight through both going and coming.

But it seems like every year is the same. I really do start out with the best intentions - getting all the Christmas shopping, dinner planning, house decorating, family picture taking, cookie baking done so that I can actually enjoy the weeks leading up to the holiday and so I'm not in a frantic rush. But here I am again - mailed out packages to Iraq a few days late (I hope the good, old USPS can get them there in time); still shopping for gifts to send out to my family; still shopping for some presents for friends and family here. Oh, well, maybe next year!

I think a new tradition was born this year though - and I'm kind of feeling bitter sweet about it. I've been hustling and bustling so much that when we got the tree last week, and Hubby resolved the leaking tree stand issue - I got the lights on it, but then I let my 6 year old Bug decorate it. He did a decent job of it, and I resisted the urge to re-arrange every single ornament. Okay - I did move a few but the branches were so weighed down I was afraid the entire tree would tip over. Bug did a lovely job and I'm very proud of how mature he's gotten just over the last few months. He's really becoming a big helper. Maybe I can actually sit back, relax and really enjoy the season and remember what's important this holiday season.

And She's Off. . .

2008-11-17T20:39:00.002-05:00

That's it folks. Budha's off and walking!!! Today she actually chose to walk more than crawl so I know life as we know it is over. Actually, life as Bug knows it is over. As I was cooking dinner tonight I could hear "Mom, she's getting into my stuff!" "Mom, she's taking my homework!" "Mom, can you pleeeaaazzzeeee come get her!" "Mom, we need a fence around my stuff so SSHHHEEE can't get it!" Oh the joys of having an elementary school aged child and a toodler!