Of Course, I Could Be Wrong...

THE 2013 ST. LAIKA CHRISTMAS APPEAL GRAND TOTAL

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 27 Dec 2013 12:36:00 +0000

Thank you, Brenda, Karen, Shelley, Dorothy, Michael and David. Your valiant effort in the last furlong resulted in a massive total for this year's Christmas Appeal of £805!!! A huge, big thank you to everyone who contributed.

Just in case some kind soul wants to get the total a little closer to our original £1000 target, here is the PayPal widget via which to make a donation.

Christmas comes but once a year. But you can save me from Skid Row whilst support my pioneering online ministry by becoming a Saint Laika's Angel. CLICK HERE for full details.

HOLY COMMUNION FOR THE FEAST OF JOHN, APOSTLE AND EVANGELIST

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 27 Dec 2013 11:59:00 +0000

CLICK HERE for the Saint Laika podcast for the Feast of John, Apostle and Evangelist, the beloved disciple. It's a short service of holy communion with just a few carefully selected tunes.

Enjoy!

CHRISTMAS FOR GRINCHES

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Dec 2013 15:54:00 +0000

HOLY COMMUNION FROM SAINT LAIKA'STHE FEAST OF STEPHEN 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Dec 2013 13:43:00 +0000

CLICK HERE for the Saint Laika podcast for the Feast of Stephen. A short service of holy communion with a few carefully selected tunes. Let it soothe away the excesses of yesterday. Play it the background whilst you tuck into your cold cuts. Or, like Stephen, get down on your knees and gaze into heaven at the Word made Flesh raised bodily to the right hand of God. It's up to you.

CHRISTMAS DAY DAY AT SAINT LAIKA'S

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Dec 2013 07:58:00 +0000

For the Christmas Eucharist CLICK HERE.

For Daily Prayer CLICK HERE.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

THE ANNUAL SAINT LAIKA'S FOLK NINE LESSONS AND CAROLS

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Dec 2013 17:48:00 +0000

What have The Albion Christmas Band, Elizabeth Mitchell, Jay Ungar, Steelye Span, Rasma Bertz, Jon Boden, Bella Hardy, Kate McGarrigle, Anna McGarrigle, Peter Bellamy, Kate Rusby, Inti Rowland, Franciscus Henri, Patch And The Giant, Matt Coleman and Shelley Gordon got in common (other than being beautiful, talented people)?

The answer is that they can all be heard on the Saint Laika Folk Nine Lessons And Carols 2013 podcast. CLICK HERE and let your lugholes revel in the traditional sounds of Christmas done properly.

You won't be sorry.

FOR COOL, GROOVY PEOPLE ONLY

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Dec 2013 17:33:00 +0000

The With All Your Soul

Christmas Special

Forty tracks. Over two hours solid of seasonal soul and real rhythm and blues for you to dance, smooch and sing along to all the way through this Tide which is Yulish.

CLICK HERE

and then scroll down

until you find it.

Press play
and away you go.

THE RENATIVITY OF SAINT LAIKA

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Dec 2013 14:40:00 +0000

Great news! My new, professionally constructed, all singing, all dancing Saint Laika website is up and running. There's loads of stuff for people to enjoy including this year's Folk Nine Lessons and Carols service, a brilliant article by Elizabeth Kaeton, a free download from Tim Chesterton, some great photos taken by KJ and some great icons written by Tobias Haller. More will be added on a daily basis.

CLICK HERE to go to Saint Laika's now and please

do share this world changing news with your friends.

VEILED COMMENT

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Dec 2013 16:58:00 +0000

I think that historically, in all cultures, men have tried to force women (other than prostitutes) to dress in such a way as to hide their sexuality and it is women who have recently forced other women to emphasise their sexuality through their dress. However, feminists often claim that it is men (in general) who are forcing women to doll themselves up, diet etc. But other than the fact that some men attempt to make money off women forcing women to objectify themselves, the problem is not men.

So, if we ban the wearing of the full burka we are giving in to the female oppression of women. If we encourage the wearing of the hijab we are giving in to the male oppression of women. It would appear that if you are woman you just can't win.

CHRISTMAS APPEAL STALLS BUT HOPE IS ETERNAL

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 14:44:00 +0000

No new baubles today, I'm afraid.

My online ministry would not be possible if it was not for the fifty four extremely generous friends who donate regularly and the other kind people who send me cash when they can afford to. However, even with such loyal support I have to survive on between four and five hundred pounds ($650 to $800) a month, which is doable (in so much as I've been doing it for over three years now) until unexpected bills come along. It is also not enough to pay for the expenses I incur producing the Saint Laika podcasts. I have to pay for the hosting of the website and the audio files, for the music when it is not already in my collection and the podcasting license which covers the cost of the royalties on the music I use. There are other occasional expenses and all together I must pay out about £100 ($162) a month just to keep the show on the road.

To overcome this problem I rely on two special appeals each year - one around my birthday in June and one just before Christmas. And this post is the launch of the 2013 Christmas appeal.

This year the appeal is even more important than usual as I am in the process of reinventing the Saint Laika's project as a fully functioning online Christian community (I hate the word church because of its negative conotations for many people I know and myself). Even with the invaluable help of a good geek friend of mine who is busy formatting the new site, this is going to be costly.

On top of the cost of my online ministry I am also hoping to get enough in donations to cover the cost of buying some new clothes in the January sales. This is the only chance I get each year to replace worn out clothing as I can't afford to do so out of my monthly income. I know that sounds pathetic but it was "living on faith" and "trusting in God to provide" is really like.

I am, of course, a bit out of touch, but I guess that the average monthly stipend of a Church of England priest is about £1500 ($2430) after tax. I am aiming to reach a target of £1000 ($1620) in this Christmas campaign. That is a heck of a lot of money (twice what I normally receive in donations in a good month) but I know from experience of your generosity in the past that it is possible.

Please consider putting me on your gift list this Christmas. Donations can be made, for any amount, no matter how small or excessively huge, via the PayPal widget below. You do not even need a PayPal account to donate.

The PayPal option is the cheapest (for me) and most convenient way to send me your gift but if you wish to donate using an alternative method please contact me by email at madpriestx@sky.com.

SPACE SANTA

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 14:15:00 +0000

This is the sort of silliness I very much approve of - even during Advent.

HOLY COMMUNION AT SAINT LAIKA'S FOR SUNDAY 22ND. DECEMBER 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 00:09:00 +0000

THE FOURTH SUNDAY OF ADVENT

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together. If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol). How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

MP3 File

CLICK HERE for order of service and credits (opens in new window)

COLLECTION PLATE

My internet ministry is my only source of income. Therefore, if you do not already donate towards my ministry, and you can afford it, I would be extremely grateful if you would consider sending some of your hard earned cash my way, either on a regular basis or as a one off donation. Whatever you send will, I promise, be greatly appreciated. You do not need to have a PayPal account to subscribe or donate via the buttons below. If you want to make a regular monthly donation (which I really would appreciate) click on the up and down arrows beside the options on the first widget, choose an amount you would like to send and then follow instructions. If you want to send a one off gift please use the second widget.

A RARE TREAT

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 23:30:00 +0000

As a special treat, with some of the money that has kindly been donated in my Christmas Appeal, Mrs MP and myself went to see the Albion Christmas Band in concert at the Sage Concert Hall this evening. They are a folk supergroup who get together each year about this time to tour a show of folk carols, readings and general buffoonery.

It was, as they say, satisfactory. We all joined in praising God as they used to do before the coming of the Coca Cola Christ. We raised the roof with our rendition of "Sweet Bells" and our rollicking version of "The Seven Joys of Mary."

It certainly beat going to church.

MADPRIEST (THE HOPEFUL YEARS)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 23:23:00 +0000

If I ever get around to writing my autobiography (which I won't because I'm a lazy git and nowhere near as interested in myself as some people would have you believe) I'm going to call it "The Disappointed Optimist."

RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (89)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 00:11:00 +0000

THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND LONG SINCE PASSED

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 13:22:00 +0000

An established church with a different law to the state is, in essence, a contradiction in terms.

JUST FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS TO GO

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 13:11:00 +0000

Thanks to my good buddies, Jim, Jane and Tim, I have been able to add another golden bauble to the crimbleometer Christmas tree. I am going to halt this appeal on Christmas Eve because I have a big announcement about my online ministry to make on that day. So, if you want to help with a final push to get the total up towards the £1000 target, please, please, please do it sooner rather than later.

To overcome this problem I rely on two special appeals each year - one around my birthday in June and one just before Christmas. And this post is the launch of the 2013 Christmas appeal.

The PayPal option is the cheapest (for me) and most convenient way to send me your gift but if you wish to donate using an alternative method please contact me by email at madpriestx@sky.com.

BIG BROTHER WORKS FOR THE POST OFFICEAND IS WATCHING WHAT YOU SEND

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 12:35:00 +0000

I have never written to my member of parliament before but today I did.

This is the email I sent him:

Dear Mr Jones

I am contacting you about an infringement of my civil liberties.

The staff at my local post office refuses to send my parcels unless I tell them exactly what is in each parcel. This means that not only they but also the people behind me in the queue know what I am sending. I have read the new restricted goods leaflet and I am quite happy to swear to them that there are no restricted goods in the parcels. In any case a dishonest person would just lie when asked. So, in fact, they do not know what is being sent. Therefore, this new practice is an attack on my right to privacy and also completely illogical and useless.

I realise that you have to fill in a customs form to send something abroad. That is fair enough because what can be imported varies from country to country and many other countries do not have the same level of civil liberties that we have in the UK. That is their prerogative and misfortune. But I live in the UK and I am referring only to items to be sent to addresses in the UK.

I feel very strongly about this and will take it further. However, as a life long labour voter in your constituency and a believer in parliamentary democracy I would be happier if you would attempt to sort this matter out for me and all the others who are complaining about it all over the internet. I have a strong suspicion that this is a decision made by a busy body jobsworth in a non-governmental body and that it is not actually in accordance with the law. If I am right I think Parliament should step in to put them straight. If I am wrong I think it is a bad law that is against the traditions of the British Constitution and should be changed.

I think what annoys me most about this new intrusive post office policy is its complete uselessness. How anyone earning the sort of money that a person in a position to make such a pronouncement makes could believe for one nanosecond that asking a person what is in a parcel will stop the sending of malicious goods through the post is beyond me. I doubt that I will get a helpful reply from Kevan Jones MP. But if a miracle happens and I do, I will let you see it.

BUSINESS AS NORMAL AT THE CHURCH OF CHRIST THE TYRANT

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 10:06:00 +0000

A Scottish priest who says that his vocation was "destroyed" after he spoke out against sexual abuse is to claim unfair dismissal against the Catholic church at an employment tribunal. Father Patrick Lawson, was removed from St Sophia's parish church, in Galston, Ayrshire, in September by the Bishop of Galloway, John Cunningham, after he revealed to the Observer newspaper that he had been fighting for 17 years for appropriate action to be taken against a fellow priest who he claims sexually assaulted him and abused altar boys. He was also issued with a disciplinary warning for giving the interview.

"The church still cannot handle the truth," he told the paper. "For 17 years I have tried to get them to reach out to those who have been broken by abuse. All they do is protect the institution."

The Catholic church's director of communications, Peter Kearney, says the application is inappropriate: "For such a claim to be made, there would need to be an employer/employee relationship. Since the relationship between a priest and his diocese is not one of employment, reference to an employment tribunal would not be possible."

This is exactly the same excuse that the bishops of the Church of England automatically spew out when they are accused of the unfair treatment of a priest in their care. It may be legally correct but it is both an immoral stance to take and completely illogical. The bishops can hire and fire their priests as if they are employees, the government taxes priests as if they are employees and priests get a higher pension the longer they have worked for the church, just as if they are employees.

Quite honestly, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then bishops will, without any scruples, call it an ostrich if they think for a moment that it will get them off the hook for some blatant act of wrongdoing.

JAM TOMORROW

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 16:28:00 +0000

When I have high hopes about life after death I am called a saint. When I have high hopes about life before death I am called stupid and told to get real.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH CATS ON (25)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 10:42:00 +0000

WHILST SHEPHERDS WATCHED THEIR FLOCK SING "JINGLE BELLS"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 17 Dec 2013 00:04:00 +0000

CHRISTMAS PLAINSONG

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:58:00 +0000

Responsory for the first Nocturn at Matins on Christmas Eve, found in a manuscript from the Abbaye de Fleury, dated c. 1170. Sheet music can be found at oestrem.com/thingstwice/2013/12…eno-erat-rudolphus/

The full text reads:

Reno erat Rudolphus
Nasum rubrum habebat;
Si quando hunc videbas,
Hunc candere tu dicas.

Omnes tarandri alii
Semper hunc deridebant;
Cum misero Rudolpho
In ludis non ludebant.

V. Sanctus Nicholas dixit
Nocte nebulae,
“Rudolphe, naso claro
Nonne carum tu duces?”

Tum renores clamabant,
“Rudolphe, delectus es?
Cum naso rubro claro
Historia descendes!”

Alleluia.

TROLL SLAPPING IS FUN

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:47:00 +0000

DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME MADDAD

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:38:00 +0000

A soldier ran up to a nun.

Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed.

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, 'Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan.'

The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I apologise for being a bit forward, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have also seen a great pair of balls. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.'